Yes! Well said. As an ENFP, the ISTPs I have known have been very empathetic/caring people. They just don't care about appearances as much. I've also known other types who have trouble naming their emotions. If you don't grow up with parents who name your emotions for you, it can be hard to identify what is what. But definitely possible to learn! Also, ISTPs are often good at noticing fine detail in others, like facial expressions, the difference in behavior, etc. And this is a way ISTPs can be empathetic. Is that they notice and react to this. Also, I think you can also use your logic too, and mixed in with the empathy it's very helpful. Often if you let people vent their feelings out first, they will then be more receptive to hearing the real logic.
As a fellow ISTP female I reallllllly appreciate your ability to effectively communicate this message to me. Making myself relive what I thought an emotion felt like is a constant struggle. That common saying “think before you speak” for us it should be “feel before you speak.” I’ve learned the hard way too many times.
That term you use “emotional memory”, really resonates with me. It’s so hard, near impossible, for me to understand what people are feeling sometimes. Empathy is something I feel like at 25 years old I’m just starting to kind of understand
I'm INFJ, had an ISTP friend I think though, for 3 years I noticed, what you said is totally right, he's like living in the moment so strong which he wouldn't care even about his past traumas and the unspoken emotions he hides probably he hadn't notice about but actually it keeps at draining him gradually, it's obvious but he didn't feel it neither notice it, when I told him about it he admitted it "my recognition was right but he did not notice those things himself", although he's extermly quiet and there's no one to understand him, I'm just trying hard to be good friend that he can trust and appreciate, ISTPs are really hard but know they're kind and they can be compassionate with the right person 😊
A good thing about ISTPs are way less likely to be emotionally manipulated and aren't emotionally needy. It will keep them out of the Psych Ward from any emotional brakedown. Doesn't mean ISTPs are heartless. ISTPs 😎 👍
I’m a fellow ISTP female and I think you just described our struggles with compassion wonderfully! Also, agree with your statement about ISTPs who don’t even try to develop their compassion. Just because we’re not naturally good at it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn to cultivate it 🙄
i just had the biggest revelation about the emotional memory you're talking about. like stress is just a word to me unless i'm experiencing it at this exact moment. i know stress can make me feel anxious/sad/grumpy but if i'm not stressed right now i forget what it actually feels like. i can be really sad about something, like literally bawling my eyes out but 15 minutes later when that emotion has passed i'm completely fine. i don't stay angry at people or hold grudges because after i'm done being angry it's like whatever. i might not like a person after they've done something bad but staying angry with them is just a waste of energy.
Your description of discovering stress reminded me of how, recently, I realized I had for some months been experiencing what my mom has called "itchy feet" (the desire to move to a new home for no other reason than because we're used to moving frequently and have been longer in one place than usual). It took me months to realize what was wrong. Because ISTP. This was all very well stated. I totally related and have recognized my struggle with this matter. I'm working on it! It's been helping me to interact with people with very, very different mindsets in an environment where I need to be careful not to offend unnecessarily (because I can easily be removed from the group if I step on too many toes).
I don’t struggle to understand or to be aware of feelings, my own or those of others; I just do not prioritize them. I can see that some people are just venting and at those times I do not look for them to be logical. I communicate compassion just like I communicate anything else - directly and specifically. (ISTP)
This is very true about lack of emotional memory.... I used to not be stressed when I was going until I experienced things myself....and whenever I converse with people, I try to relate to people with how I experienced things In the past.... And I think actually going out there is going to let us experience a lot of things in the world ,like how people live and feel , different types of personalities with our own eyes ....it can be really fascinating, and I actually will be like....woww, there are other people who actually think in a very different perspective and very interesting stuffs also....and in conversations or in our actions, if we try and think back to those experiences, it can really help us understand people and then, the world
Hello, as an ISTP myself, I find that you are really great at explaining things from an ISTP perspective. I love hearing someone else's dominant Ti in action as I use it to sort of steer and guide all my other functions if that makes sense. I really want my Ti to marry my Fe, though 😆 So yeah, I'm so glad that you have done and/or are doing this channel, and I anticipate more videos like this one and getting to know more about you and how your mind works, especially since you are a female. Btw, I saw your first video about your hobbies before seeing this one, and I haven't been exposed to a lot of activities in life, so my main hobbies are sports (soccer and basketball mostly, though I love watching tennis and UFC) and music. I've been blessed with some spontaneous inspiration to write songs during some pretty dark and miserable times, I sing a little without training, and I play the drums since I was a toddler. I'm determined that I am going to teach myself piano someday and maybe even acoustic guitar.
As a ISTP-A/T I would like to get to a point where my loved ones know my true intentions when im “ correcting or critiquing” them. I wish I could get them to understand that my ,what i now know as, criticism is a sign that I truly do love and care about them. For most people I wouldn’t use the time or energy to correct or explain, they can just do whatever. Its like finding the solution to their problem is a way of me supporting them. But it’s always taken the wrong way.
6:30 You are right because when my friends talk to me about their "love problems" I am not able to emphasize with them and I tend to be curt. I tend to be very empathetic with other topics, but I have a hard time with love.
Ive noticed that I tend to Fe through my Ti, since the Fe is a weak function. In my mind, Im caring for you by solving the problem that is making you feel bad. Or in other words, its how our empathy comes out.
It's so interesting that you're talking about this. I live in a city with a fairly high concentration of ISTPs and honestly, even as an INTP they make me wonder about their connection to morals as opposed to ethics. I find ISTPs to be *ethical* but *amoral*. It's sad because they are very in-demand in the tech industry and don't seem to question the stuff they're building. Know what I mean? Like, China's crazy surveillance tech isn't being built by gnomes.
How sure are you that those people in your city are ISTP? I'm an ISTP myself but i doubt the accuracy of your statement. Are you basing it on actual facts or pure assumptions based on stereotypes?
I think there are a lot of people lacking empathy these days across the board, not just ISTPs. I think it's the narcissism epidemic. But the fact that it bothers you probably means you do have empathy I would think?
To develop empathy I researched ever mental health disorders. Emotions and how that changes for people over the years. I also looked at the energy that the moon gives and how that effect people through the month. It makes peoples habits very predictable. It also helped me learn more about myself and the people near me. I looked up how to empathize, what to say and what not to say.
Perhaps because I had to deal with my dad growing up but I have good emotional ability. I can use a synthetic empathy in almost a tactical manner. It's something I can do cold with good accuracy as well as standard empathy I'm in my 40s and can access all my functions.
Thank you for your video. I've been working on my empathy and compassion for a while. I noticed that I was having a hard time understanding things on an emotional level. I think I've channeled that side of myself ok, but I can still see where improvement is needed. It takes a lot of work!
ISTP does not have a lack of empathy . We just see the solution and choose not to commiserate but offer solutions , this makes us seem unemotional . I do not care how I feel about a situation , I do not care how you feel about a situation { I actually really do and very deeply } I only care about solving the problem , best course of action and the eventual outcome . This makes ISTP seem to have a lack of emotional value . Quite the contrary . I have learned to pay attention to peoples inability to logically sort out a problem , but complain and feel better when you give them some agreement. Then and only then,, have I filled their emotional need can we work on problem solving .
@@dasit6034 This is what I've been working on doing. My go-to is always, "oh, hey, have you tried this" or pointing out another perspective, but I'm trying to take a beat first and validate the emotions first before offering solutions. I believe a huge part of it is because if I'm reaching out to someone with a situation that is difficult in some way, I'm looking for solutions, not just a validation of "that sucks" (which doesn't help me at all), so I tend to assume that's what other people need and want and how I can show I care about what they're going through. But I'm learning how to read people better and try to provide what they want and need rather than what I would.
I love your videos. I do practice compassion, but I also struggle with feeling empathy frequently. Other times I feel flooded with empathy. When I’m not feeling it, I try to remember to use cognitive empathy. I used to have very poor boundaries and people (usually men) would take advantage of me and use me because I cared too much about putting them before myself. Learning how to be more selfish and learning self-love was important for me in becoming healthy. I believe that I spent a lot of my life in my ENFJ subconscious. I only recently (the past 5 months) have settled into my ISTP ego and setting boundaries has been much easier.
I always thought i was an ISTP , but when it's abt other people , i've been good with witnessing or trying to do anything that coud cause somewhat emotional harm by one saying i grow up with in quran " Don't give to your brother (other people) what you wouldn't be life to be done to you" , so even if i really have a short emotional memory i was always consious abt how it would hurt people of i did or said anything if it wasn't nessecary .i HAVE AN INFP (she said by test but she doesn't feel like she is) sis as well we went thru the same thing but it was me wanting to convince her that she is an INFP but since i know ... well she's sensitive and she might feel hurt or smt i avoided it . I can shut my mouth as an act of compassion ,but i cant give verbal compassion it's just impossible lol
If an istp is being what can be considered rude...by being blunt...are they able to deal with the bluntness right back? I've been just as blunt and they didn't like it. Thoughts?
Could you make a video of how to become friends with ISTP female. I am ISFJ. I met one and she is super cool, but seems to have no interest in others or me. She is polite but never asks something. I can only write her, she lives far away. She does not respond often and spares all emotional topics... what can I do that she likes me?
You don't look ignorant and aggressive and stupid, so I don't think you are an ISTP. Those ppl you mentioned who were proud of their lack of sensitivity and empathy, those are the real ISTPs. You show a lot of objective Ti, which is abundant in 4 types: INTP, ESTP, ISTJ and ESFJ. The first 3 being thinking types, I'm guessing you are one of those 3 types. ISTPs are aggressive, ignorant, unemotional, and not really smart. The way you care about "developing" your sensitivity and empathy, is so not ISTP.
She is definitely an ISTP, no doubt about it. First of all...I'm married to the elusive ISTP female so I think I would be more well equipped to readily identify one than you are. I would even venture to say they share the same facial structure and similar features as well (super cute btw) which is something being researched now. And to be honest there are also masculine and feminine polarities of EACH function that you didn't account for whatsoever. You didn't even provide her with an example to cite other than your opinion of feeling she showed you objective Ti without providing an example in your endeavor to prove her wrong - you ended up being wrong. - sincerely an INTJ (so you can rest assured I am correct)
What a bunch of bs. You are wrong or troll. Knowing what ppl feel and want is an advantage from utilitarian point of view and every man wise enough know this. And utilitarianism is way of ISTP.
I mean a lack of sensitivity and empathy is something that ISTP shares as common personality trait, and choosing to be proud of it is their moral character (or superficiality). My twin sister is ISTP, and she struggles with the concept that this video talks about. (I don't know about their face structure, but they definitely talk the similar way.)- second INTJ
@@taeleekim5573 you mean your sister lacks empathy and is proud of it? That's how ISTP should be in general. INTJ isn't really empathetic either, but unlike ISTP who is generally clueless, INTJ knows whats up.
Yes! Well said. As an ENFP, the ISTPs I have known have been very empathetic/caring people. They just don't care about appearances as much. I've also known other types who have trouble naming their emotions. If you don't grow up with parents who name your emotions for you, it can be hard to identify what is what. But definitely possible to learn! Also, ISTPs are often good at noticing fine detail in others, like facial expressions, the difference in behavior, etc. And this is a way ISTPs can be empathetic. Is that they notice and react to this. Also, I think you can also use your logic too, and mixed in with the empathy it's very helpful. Often if you let people vent their feelings out first, they will then be more receptive to hearing the real logic.
As a fellow ISTP female I reallllllly appreciate your ability to effectively communicate this message to me. Making myself relive what I thought an emotion felt like is a constant struggle. That common saying “think before you speak” for us it should be “feel before you speak.” I’ve learned the hard way too many times.
hahaha you have right
For me I understand and see people’s emotions ,but I really don’t care that much about them, And I don’t really feel much emotion my self.
Me too
Even thought for someone you care about?!!
That term you use “emotional memory”, really resonates with me. It’s so hard, near impossible, for me to understand what people are feeling sometimes. Empathy is something I feel like at 25 years old I’m just starting to kind of understand
I'm INFJ, had an ISTP friend I think though, for 3 years I noticed, what you said is totally right, he's like living in the moment so strong which he wouldn't care even about his past traumas and the unspoken emotions he hides probably he hadn't notice about but actually it keeps at draining him gradually, it's obvious but he didn't feel it neither notice it, when I told him about it he admitted it "my recognition was right but he did not notice those things himself", although he's extermly quiet and there's no one to understand him, I'm just trying hard to be good friend that he can trust and appreciate, ISTPs are really hard but know they're kind and they can be compassionate with the right person 😊
I'm glad that your friend has a person like you.
A good thing about ISTPs are way less likely to be emotionally manipulated and aren't emotionally needy. It will keep them out of the Psych Ward from any emotional brakedown. Doesn't mean ISTPs are heartless.
ISTPs 😎 👍
I’m a fellow ISTP female and I think you just described our struggles with compassion wonderfully! Also, agree with your statement about ISTPs who don’t even try to develop their compassion. Just because we’re not naturally good at it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn to cultivate it 🙄
It's stupid not to want to be empathetic.
i just had the biggest revelation about the emotional memory you're talking about. like stress is just a word to me unless i'm experiencing it at this exact moment. i know stress can make me feel anxious/sad/grumpy but if i'm not stressed right now i forget what it actually feels like. i can be really sad about something, like literally bawling my eyes out but 15 minutes later when that emotion has passed i'm completely fine. i don't stay angry at people or hold grudges because after i'm done being angry it's like whatever. i might not like a person after they've done something bad but staying angry with them is just a waste of energy.
Your description of discovering stress reminded me of how, recently, I realized I had for some months been experiencing what my mom has called "itchy feet" (the desire to move to a new home for no other reason than because we're used to moving frequently and have been longer in one place than usual). It took me months to realize what was wrong. Because ISTP.
This was all very well stated. I totally related and have recognized my struggle with this matter. I'm working on it! It's been helping me to interact with people with very, very different mindsets in an environment where I need to be careful not to offend unnecessarily (because I can easily be removed from the group if I step on too many toes).
I don’t struggle to understand or to be aware of feelings, my own or those of others; I just do not prioritize them.
I can see that some people are just venting and at those times I do not look for them to be logical.
I communicate compassion just like I communicate anything else - directly and specifically. (ISTP)
This is very true about lack of emotional memory.... I used to not be stressed when I was going until I experienced things myself....and whenever I converse with people, I try to relate to people with how I experienced things In the past.... And I think actually going out there is going to let us experience a lot of things in the world ,like how people live and feel , different types of personalities with our own eyes ....it can be really fascinating, and I actually will be like....woww, there are other people who actually think in a very different perspective and very interesting stuffs also....and in conversations or in our actions, if we try and think back to those experiences, it can really help us understand people and then, the world
Hello, as an ISTP myself, I find that you are really great at explaining things from an ISTP perspective. I love hearing someone else's dominant Ti in action as I use it to sort of steer and guide all my other functions if that makes sense. I really want my Ti to marry my Fe, though 😆
So yeah, I'm so glad that you have done and/or are doing this channel, and I anticipate more videos like this one and getting to know more about you and how your mind works, especially since you are a female.
Btw, I saw your first video about your hobbies before seeing this one, and I haven't been exposed to a lot of activities in life, so my main hobbies are sports (soccer and basketball mostly, though I love watching tennis and UFC) and music. I've been blessed with some spontaneous inspiration to write songs during some pretty dark and miserable times, I sing a little without training, and I play the drums since I was a toddler. I'm determined that I am going to teach myself piano someday and maybe even acoustic guitar.
As a ISTP-A/T I would like to get to a point where my loved ones know my true intentions when im “ correcting or critiquing” them. I wish I could get them to understand that my ,what i now know as, criticism is a sign that I truly do love and care about them. For most people I wouldn’t use the time or energy to correct or explain, they can just do whatever. Its like finding the solution to their problem is a way of me supporting them. But it’s always taken the wrong way.
It is our way of caring about them and some do not understand it.
I’m INTJ but your advice is really great for me too.
6:30 You are right because when my friends talk to me about their "love problems" I am not able to emphasize with them and I tend to be curt. I tend to be very empathetic with other topics, but I have a hard time with love.
Ive noticed that I tend to Fe through my Ti, since the Fe is a weak function. In my mind, Im caring for you by solving the problem that is making you feel bad. Or in other words, its how our empathy comes out.
I love how you challenge yourself
It's so interesting that you're talking about this. I live in a city with a fairly high concentration of ISTPs and honestly, even as an INTP they make me wonder about their connection to morals as opposed to ethics. I find ISTPs to be *ethical* but *amoral*. It's sad because they are very in-demand in the tech industry and don't seem to question the stuff they're building. Know what I mean? Like, China's crazy surveillance tech isn't being built by gnomes.
How sure are you that those people in your city are ISTP? I'm an ISTP myself but i doubt the accuracy of your statement. Are you basing it on actual facts or pure assumptions based on stereotypes?
@@cooljesuschickita08 Mmm, I'd rather not give out my actual location but if I could share it you'd go "Oh"
I think there are a lot of people lacking empathy these days across the board, not just ISTPs. I think it's the narcissism epidemic. But the fact that it bothers you probably means you do have empathy I would think?
Fixing technical errors is something that I'm trying to fix cause I do it way to much and my fam complains about it
To develop empathy I researched ever mental health disorders. Emotions and how that changes for people over the years. I also looked at the energy that the moon gives and how that effect people through the month. It makes peoples habits very predictable. It also helped me learn more about myself and the people near me. I looked up how to empathize, what to say and what not to say.
Perhaps because I had to deal with my dad growing up but I have good emotional ability. I can use a synthetic empathy in almost a tactical manner. It's something I can do cold with good accuracy as well as standard empathy I'm in my 40s and can access all my functions.
Thank you for your video. I've been working on my empathy and compassion for a while. I noticed that I was having a hard time understanding things on an emotional level. I think I've channeled that side of myself ok, but I can still see where improvement is needed. It takes a lot of work!
I have an ENFP mom and I 100% feel that kind of interaction
ISTP does not have a lack of empathy . We just see the solution and choose not to commiserate but offer solutions , this makes us seem unemotional . I do not care how I feel about a situation , I do not care how you feel about a situation { I actually really do and very deeply } I only care about solving the problem , best course of action and the eventual outcome . This makes ISTP seem to have a lack of emotional value . Quite the contrary . I have learned to pay attention to peoples inability to logically sort out a problem , but complain and feel better when you give them some agreement. Then and only then,, have I filled their emotional need can we work on problem solving .
Sometimes the solution IS just listening and comiserating. That's the thing we ISTPs seem to miss sometimes.
@@dasit6034 This is what I've been working on doing. My go-to is always, "oh, hey, have you tried this" or pointing out another perspective, but I'm trying to take a beat first and validate the emotions first before offering solutions. I believe a huge part of it is because if I'm reaching out to someone with a situation that is difficult in some way, I'm looking for solutions, not just a validation of "that sucks" (which doesn't help me at all), so I tend to assume that's what other people need and want and how I can show I care about what they're going through. But I'm learning how to read people better and try to provide what they want and need rather than what I would.
I love your videos. I do practice compassion, but I also struggle with feeling empathy frequently. Other times I feel flooded with empathy. When I’m not feeling it, I try to remember to use cognitive empathy.
I used to have very poor boundaries and people (usually men) would take advantage of me and use me because I cared too much about putting them before myself. Learning how to be more selfish and learning self-love was important for me in becoming healthy. I believe that I spent a lot of my life in my ENFJ subconscious. I only recently (the past 5 months) have settled into my ISTP ego and setting boundaries has been much easier.
I always thought i was an ISTP , but when it's abt other people , i've been good with witnessing or trying to do anything that coud cause somewhat emotional harm by one saying i grow up with in quran " Don't give to your brother (other people) what you wouldn't be life to be done to you" , so even if i really have a short emotional memory i was always consious abt how it would hurt people of i did or said anything if it wasn't nessecary .i HAVE AN INFP (she said by test but she doesn't feel like she is) sis as well we went thru the same thing but it was me wanting to convince her that she is an INFP but since i know ... well she's sensitive and she might feel hurt or smt i avoided it .
I can shut my mouth as an act of compassion ,but i cant give verbal compassion it's just impossible lol
i do love this channel
This is excellent, and something everyone could benefit from! Thank you for sharing.
You're so pretty
You sound like Jesse Ventura (in terms of accent); would you happen to be from Minnesota?
If an istp is being what can be considered rude...by being blunt...are they able to deal with the bluntness right back? I've been just as blunt and they didn't like it. Thoughts?
Could you make a video of how to become friends with ISTP female. I am ISFJ. I met one and she is super cool, but seems to have no interest in others or me. She is polite but never asks something. I can only write her, she lives far away. She does not respond often and spares all emotional topics... what can I do that she likes me?
Thanks for the suggestions! I'll give them some thought.
How do you know if you're an istp? I took the 16 personalities test and it said I was an istp-t but I have doubts.
Doesn't your understanding of compassion and empathy sound fi-ish rather than fe ?
Your videos are not very audible. Topics are good. You seem to express yourself clearly. But, I cannot hear your voice...
You don't look ignorant and aggressive and stupid, so I don't think you are an ISTP.
Those ppl you mentioned who were proud of their lack of sensitivity and empathy, those are the real ISTPs.
You show a lot of objective Ti, which is abundant in 4 types: INTP, ESTP, ISTJ and ESFJ. The first 3 being thinking types, I'm guessing you are one of those 3 types.
ISTPs are aggressive, ignorant, unemotional, and not really smart.
The way you care about "developing" your sensitivity and empathy, is so not ISTP.
She is definitely an ISTP, no doubt about it. First of all...I'm married to the elusive ISTP female so I think I would be more well equipped to readily identify one than you are. I would even venture to say they share the same facial structure and similar features as well (super cute btw) which is something being researched now. And to be honest there are also masculine and feminine polarities of EACH function that you didn't account for whatsoever. You didn't even provide her with an example to cite other than your opinion of feeling she showed you objective Ti without providing an example in your endeavor to prove her wrong - you ended up being wrong. - sincerely an INTJ (so you can rest assured I am correct)
@@Kuultyc intj, correct? :)))
What a bunch of bs. You are wrong or troll. Knowing what ppl feel and want is an advantage from utilitarian point of view and every man wise enough know this. And utilitarianism is way of ISTP.
I mean a lack of sensitivity and empathy is something that ISTP shares as common personality trait, and choosing to be proud of it is their moral character (or superficiality). My twin sister is ISTP, and she struggles with the concept that this video talks about.
(I don't know about their face structure, but they definitely talk the similar way.)- second INTJ
@@taeleekim5573 you mean your sister lacks empathy and is proud of it? That's how ISTP should be in general. INTJ isn't really empathetic either, but unlike ISTP who is generally clueless, INTJ knows whats up.