Borderline Personality Disorder: Men vs Women
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
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Discover the signs of borderline personality disorder in men vs. women you should know.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is here to tell you how men and women each experience borderline personality disorder (BPD). She ends the interview with why understanding the signs of borderline personality disorder and other disorders is so important in helping people find the right treatment.
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I'm diagnosed bipolar disorder with psychotic tendencies n suicidal ideation. I know they're missing something or misdiagnosed. When I look up bipolar disorder I relate to some of the things listed, but borderline personality disorder explanation seems like it was written about me to a t, that it's scary. I'm trying to learn about bpd, so I know what's going on n it helps a lot more n I try to prevent issues n episodes before they start. Thank u God bless u XoJaynaoX
Why does it have these videos that look like it's free for you to listen, but then you have to sign up?
The fact that psychology isn’t a subject at school from day 1 is disturbing. It would save soooooooo much trauma...
esnutaliah yep and if it was taught in school more, it would give kids an outlet and a safe space to find help. This I think is a part of people not respecting children and what they say and feel. It’s a social thing.
Psychology students are so annoying though. A bigger bunch of pretend-professionals you couldn't find.
It would but the world is a very nasty place. If you aren’t the 1% you’re expected to work eat sleep. Be forever indebt and mentally & physically unhealthy
Omg yess
esnutaliah i totally agree it's because there too scared
Dating a man with bpd is they have intense outbursts of anger but apologize and are the sweetest people when they aren’t in rage. They also had a bad childhood and family issues.
Thank you very much for sharing your comment
I wish my girl understood this. Although I know it isn't her fault, she left me because she got scared of my sudden outbursts. I still love her but I wish she understood me.
They can destroy you with neediness
@@onlyluvisreal6691 I made this comment two years ago, things have changed since then. That man was an abusive narcissist. He hit me multiple times. I tried for years making excuses for him. He ruined my life though for real
@@onlyluvisreal6691 he never let me go when I wished he would have just left me alone.
She’s so empathic and passionate and loving,he’s so positively curious and detail-oriented. Love these videos!
Learned more in her vids than any classes. She clarifies and breaks down things so well.
@Sarah Buckingham why do you think so?
Me too
@First name Last name dont hate love
And you are a good observer
"When somebody tells you they have a medical illness, such as cancer, or diabetes, there's so much more empathy than if we're told they have depression or Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. Until we raise the level of *empathy* for _mental_ illness to be at the same level as what we call 'physiological illness,' _my_ work isn't done - and nor should be the work of any mental health practitioner. Till we iron that out, we are going to be fighting this battle in mental health."
Thank you for your passion and compassion for those suffering mental illness; you brought me to tears, Dr. Ramani; you're an inspiration!
Not that hard to understand. Cancer patiens do not break you and are violent. Living with a person with borderline or bipolair will break your spirit.
@@Ytdeletesallmycomments families and loved ones of people who have physiological disorders can absolutely suffer if their loved ones are suffering or are dying. Both situations are hard to deal with. Mental disorders cause a lot of psychological pain to those who suffer, and it's often difficult to diagnose, to treat, and to control. Overall, I'm saying neither physiological or psychological disorders are fair or deserved to the people who suffer from them or their loved ones. Both are difficult to deal with and it's nobody's fault. So in that regard, they are both equally as serious and they should be treated as such.
My boyfriend has it they kept trying to say he was just angry i had to tell the therapists he had bpd and they were like aww yea actually that’s what it is. I feel men just get labeled as angry criminals
When you used the word criminals, that just made me think: Of all the men in prison, I wonder how many might have undiagnosed BPD which contributed to their actions that got them imprisoned but not knowing they have it plus lacking th appropriate intervention is preventing them from rehabilitation and successfully managing their condition and emotions...
There is finally some attention being given to unrecognised ADHD possibly contributing to offending behaviour but I'd say BPD is just as significant in that regard.
@first last lol, really ? Are women with bpd more at risk to kill their husband ? You missed the whole point of the video : men with bpd are often though as having anger issues or as being psychopath because the only emotion we associate with men is "anger". Bpd feels emotions more strongly and for a longer time, they're not a ticking bomb of anger waiting to explode lol and if they do explode, it might be an overload of anger, sadness, anxiety, etc...
@@sorchaoreilly2633 Maybe, but i feel like it's more likely than lasting criminals are either sociopath or psychopath... However i could see why someone with bpd would want to fit in and thus be part of a gang or something similar if they don't find an alternative
Seems to me stalkers and abusers could fit into the BPD category.
blue smurff no it’s true I got to get a restraining order on mine just be safe ❤️
BPD is prevalent in men. Mix of bipolar type symptoms , throw in some narcissism and histrionics followed by a massive question mark and asking yourself wtf is this and you have BPD.
So men with bpd are more narcissistic?
I just want an hour of audio of Dr. Ramani narrating something calming and reassuring in that articulate, knowledgeable voice of hers, to help cope with our current times.
she is amazing
I've been told by friends and family that I have some underlying mental issues, some have said they think it's BDP (I'm a male). I'm beginning to think they are right after looking at the symptoms. Constantly feeling empty, no real identity (put up a front to fit in), erratic and impulsive behaviour, feeling of rage at annoyances and slights, fear of losing people, constant depression and anxiety that comes and goes, emotional dissociation, black and white thinking etc...
This sounds like my husband but he doesn’t have black and white thinking. Everything else he does. I ask him why don’t you turn left it’s faster he says stop back set driving over one comment. Everything annoys him and cause anger. He never feels good enough.
the most important thing is to know you are not alone and bpd hs a great recovery chance, 6 years dbt should send it into remission, x
wow! thats me, u explained the way i feel to a t
I feel like the key is prevention. Alot of these disorders come from childhood traumas, we should educate parents on mental health so any children suffering can get help before it becomes a full blown personality disorder. I just wish it was possible. It's terrible for the adults suffering and everyone around them. Why can't parents just be good to their kids :(
A disordered parent potentially creates a disordered child. The cycle goes on and on.
Validation! Validating an upset child's feelings could make a huge difference to their upbringing. Validating an upset adult helps when helping someone with borderline.
@Vincent Mileto that's extremely rare. Almost no one who grew up psychologically normal and stable is diagnosed with bpd.
Q Min We'll put! Disordered parents will end up producing disordered children. The majority of parents lack the skills on how to be good, effective parents, and have children mainly for selfish reasons, or to satisfy the selfish desires of their own parents. Hence I strongly believe anyone planning to have children should undergo a thorough psychological in addition to physical assessment before they proceed with their baby-making, and even if both parents are passed fit to procreate, they should still be assessed while the baby is still in the mother’s womb and right after the child is born, so that the child does not end up with shitty parents.
Vincent Mileto Then it can be due to other factors. Perhaps bullying at school?
@Vincent Mileto There can be a predisposition to mental illness or other variables we may not even know of, but nurture is what matters the most with psychological stability. Family, school, clubs and neighbourhoods are what shapes the life of a kid. If all people were raised by more educated, competent, caring parents, all of these environments would be much less likely to involve psychologically unstable or problematic individuals. It's a vicious/virtuous circle type of thing, and educating parents (and people in general) is the first step towards a more and more psychologically sound society.
I have been diagnosed with Bipolar and BPD. I was diagnosed late in life, since then my life was turned upside down. I haven't lived in the family home for six years. This video series is the first I've seen that puts the important information in terms we all understand. Thank you.
make more with her i love her shes great
same here man, but with also Aspergers
Rob Neate I know more than one person with that dual diagnosis. I wonder if that’s common.
@@robinhoodwasasocialist.1401 yes. As well as adhd
@@robinhoodwasasocialist.1401 It makes me wonder if it is a misdiagnosis
I'm a male borderline and it is such a relief to see it start being recognised as unbiased to gender. I did a year of DBT, and while it was primarily female, it was refreshing to see men start coming through it with me.
I am male too, diagnosed so late, I have misdiagnosed bipolar then NPD which destroyed my mental health as my father was NPD. Doing DBT now
@user-de6nl2ez8c Absolutely. I still use the skills today, quite regularly, to catch myself from certain thinking patterns. I’m not perfect, and I still need psychotherapy, but yes - it helped.
She is amazing ❤🌹🌺 Thank you for inviting her. 🤗🐕🌹🌸🌺🌷❤
I have been through many therapy years and have also had dbt and nothing has helped
@@ohwiseowl9163 I wish you fast recovery ... but I don't have bpd
oh, wise owl Try accepting Jesus as your savior... since I became God’s follower my life got better ... the depression and anxiety decreased a bit
Gosh dang...everything they say is me. I'm a 45 y/o male who just got diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago. Before getting diagnosed I thought I was just insane. I had no idea why my emotions were a roller coaster. I knew when something would send me over the edge emotionally but couldn't do anything to stop it. Living with BPD is miserable. It feels like you are empty inside and nothing ever fills the void. I'm financially set for life, I'm married, I have two kids, and yet I feel completely dead inside.
How u set 4 life financially but have bpd??
I'm the same Cept 21 and I can't maintain any school scared of job?????????
I'm 34, two divorces, I played right into ex's hands to alienate the kids from me. 2 failed careers, dept I can't pay. Bro do you need to be homeless on/off for some acute ptsd to feel alive?
@howell2401, I have never felt so dead and lonely inside as when I was married. And the feelings of shame for feeling that way was off the charts.
Isn't it just the worst feeling in the world?! To have nothing that makes you feel truly happy, full, alive? I'm so dead inside and feelings of worthlessness are always right there constantly running in my mind, heart, in my everyday. There never is anyone who I can talk to about it because no one understands this feeling of extreme emptiness and uselessness. No one cares, no one can when they just don't get it.
BPD has lost me so many jobs, and gotten me into trouble to the point I got suspended from a community college.
We can't help it. We need constant reassurance about people not leaving us. It is a daily battle. Thank you for putting these videos out there. BPD battles are the worst and people need to be more understanding and empathic! Sensitivity and understanding.
Maybe you can help your patterns by changing words, like instead of, "I can't help it" to something like, "I'm learning how to help myself a bit better everyday"
I guess I'm just trying to say that I've come to see that who I am is my job. That's about it.
It can be helped! It’s a much more difficult battle but, with time and determination things can change.
I have BPD too and I think a huge part of recovery can be recognizing that BPD is not in control of our actions, just our emotions and feelings in the moment about things or people. We still have the conscious ability to do actions, or to not do damaging actions. We have strength in our own willpower and sometimes just sitting with our feeling until we're in a more logical place can be the hardest but most beneficial thing to do. The real struggle is doing so when we feel empty and like there's no point to being our best selves. I think that's where information and recognizing when we are experiencing symptoms that will pass eventually can be the most helpful so we can reroute ourselves a bit haha. It gets easier to change behavior, but the biggest battle for me is that even though I can change my life, and I do mostly feel happier, I still struggle a lot with processing my emotions in a way that isn't disassociate and isn't self damaging. I wish there was someone who specifically specialized in BPD near me and knew more in depth about it than just the normal therapists in my town.
Good luck finding that from humanity. I would work on myself, instead. People are not trustworthy enough to show any weakness to unless they have proven worthy of trust... in increments...over time. You must begin seeing yourself as worthy to love... unconditionally... but, also enough to not allow yourself to stay the way that you are. With tools like dialectical behavioral therapy skills, assertiveness and boundary groups, Emotions Anonymous, etc...you can recover enough to keep a job and a partner and not give emotions and feelings so much power since they come and go...you must say and eventually believe you are worthy and enough...now...all by yourself. But...it takes a new way of thinking and lots of work.
As a woman, you should track your symptoms with your menstrual cycle before accepting any mental health diagnoses. PMDD is real and commonly ignored. It is actually advised to check all of a patient's hormones prior to going the mental health route. Sadly, this is often not the norm and it is pills first questions later.
It’s so true that even these days, a mental diagnosis is used as a label - a big Scarlet Letter - that society uses to stigmatize a person, more so than it’s used to give a person the correct treatment that person needs. More often than not, empathy is nowhere to be found.
It’s no wonder so many people are hesitant to openly talk about things that are troubling them and to seek out treatment.
I hate to be so cynical but I feel sorry for people who freely come out and admit they have these issues, like the whole world's gonna be so welcoming, give them a break AND allow you to keep your self esteem.. Really? No.. Your gonna be tarred with the mad brush as Alan Partridge would say.
✨
Absolutely. I've experienced bias and judgment from regular physicians AFTER they find out about any mental health diagnosis, MANY times. I've been told my symptoms are "psychosomatic" because bloodwork shows nothing. Twice now I've ended up in emergency surgery because of how brushed off and ignored I've been thanks to my labels. They ARE used as labels, whether or not they should be.
I can tell you from first hand experience , getting treatment for male borderline is in its infancy. Most of the clinics include teams of all female therapists which can be very triggering especially for a guy walking around with mother issues. It would be the same thing as a woman with severe father issues being treated by mostly male therapists. The potential pitfalls are everywhere.
One of the biggest difficulties in treatment was receiving compliments from multiple female therapists. I didn’t believe anything that they were saying was true about me because I never heard my Mom say anything nice about me unless it was in front of other people or witnesses. It’s crazy to think children are bread to hate themselves , often times very subtly.
Borderline from what I saw in treatment are people with incredibly high self awareness coupled with volatile emotional dis regulation. Almost like a narcissist that never developed the false self , what lies underneath the shell. Honest and badly broken , dangerous at times and an amazing person at others.
Thank you Sir. Gratitude
This is so true. I’m a 25 year old male. And I thought i was just a crazy angry dude. I’m really big with tattoos and a deep voice. It took me sop long to get diagnosed with borderline because they thought I had anti personality disorder / sociopath. I committed a lot of criminal acts, and I don’t want to blame it solely on my BPD but if I had known back then and had gotten treated, I’m sure the likelihood of me doing anything criminal would have dropped significantly.
I have both Bipolar and BPD, Her empathetic personality and informative content are the only lights at the end of this treacherous tunnel
Me too. It's a rollercoaster 🤯. I am male. I'm beginning to feel the bipolar may just be bordeline+ 😂 ... Lockdown for 'Rona was nothing new to me. I thrived! Lol I shouldn't jest , but it's true nonetheless.
I just want to say, I have never found the interviewer to be intentionally rude. Hes doing a great job and I find him rather relaxing to listen too. He's engaging and optimistic. People readily judge others without good reason, its sad. I'd like to thank both of you personally because I'v found the interviews very informative and judgement free.
She's gorgeous and she explains this better than any other person on earth.
I think the another reason why BPD men are not recognized is because it tends so be a codependent disorder. Men who rely or are really attached to their partners/friends are seen as weak where as that same obsession BPD women have with partners/friends is expected.
Men has been robbed FROM bonding and teaming up with other men because of this feminist society.I can easily see this in the western world and i guess this breaks men's masculinity to a large extent so individuals develop problems and disorders.
Actually I think the problem is when men are broken after a relationship and break things etc. It's seen as normal. It's seen as women being devils breaking men's hearts and so on and so on whereas when women are destroyed by abandonment, people are shocked because women should be just able to jump from a man to the next.
This
@@adler9213 no feminism is not the problem.. capitalism and patriarchy are the reason men are robbed of their right to feel emotions and have close relationships, because they have to be earning good money too be superior to other men and women to be seen as a "real man", to get respect from other man and to get chosen by women. We live in a toxic society and we created it.
Can you do a video on how to find a therapist that is right for YOU?
Yes I agree
I am bpd and i am writing letter to my inner child slowly he is cooperating with me.... assuring him loving him
What I really like about this therapist is her honest appraisals. "We are clinicians and we have our biases." When a therapist is that much humble and polite, it makes any patient relaxed and assured, and more hopeful about recovery. Best of all she says: "Lets not even call them disorders, but patterns".
This video really didn't explain how symptoms present differently in men than in women.
Nope it certainly did not
It reminds me of heart disease. A woman can go into the doctor and present the exact same symptoms as a man (Consumer Reports actually did this with secret shopper type patients). The man will get diagnosed with heart disease and the woman will likely not. It's mostly about practitioner bias.
There's another video talking about the symptoms of BPD in details. The symptoms are the same, men and women express it differently.
Raisa, your answer makes no sense at all.
Thats because the symptoms dont precent differently. Fear of abandonment, intense emotions, frequent changes in appearance so on are the same for both sexes its the societies bias that views them differently.. We dont expect a man to have fear of abandonment.
🌳yes!
That was great!
“ Patterns “ instead of Disorder is leaving room for hope and healing!
Thank you for mentioning the double standards when it comes to physical vs. mental illness.
I have both depression and epilepsy, and the reaction I got from people about them were VERY different. I didn't know if I should be grateful or angry, when everyone offered me help and support about the epilepsy, but to make people see that I had wasted my teenage years being depressed was practically impossible.
I've had it for years. It came along in the form of depression and anxiety and a dead end job that I was so nervous in and behaved in a way to try and fit in. This causes bullying, me feeling hopeless, becoming very reckless socially and sexually, making very bad decisions, bringing horrible shame and a split to my family. It was all avoidable. If I had left my job before the cloud got darker, got help and worked harder to feeling and doing better I know for a fact that I wouldn't have done the reckless stupid things I did. Check yourself before you wreck yourself people.
This provides great insight. I could honestly say both me and my ex were suffering from some level of BPD. In particular I was the reason our relationship failed so miserably. Great video!!!!
Mark Wahlberg in Fear is a good example of a man with BPD.
Yes. I thought this as well.
Interesting video. Unfortunately it doesn't cover what is promised in the title.
just love her^^ anyone else?
MUSICMINA1 not easy when it gets to a point of her insulting you and pushing you away and when you take some time away (that often she suggests) and aren’t super happy to see them again (yet still love them and have no plan of leaving) they convince themselves you’re abandoning them and they will cut contact with you to stop the pain. Leaving the other person confused and hurt and feeling like all their effort was worthless
I have all the symptoms as in all of the symptoms for BPD and myvlive is a mess my wife left with my two boys and wants a divorce and I have no idea why I lost everything and am now living with strangers renting a room... There's no reason to live anymore and I was the one that made this mess! And I don't even know how and when or why...
for the longest time people also just told me "aw you're just angry" etc. when a few months ago a got diagnosed with BPD _as a male_ . and at first i was also told by some pseudo-psychology-experts that this is a women-illness. Thank you for uploading these videos and explaining more about BPD. I'm actually grateful I somehow feel understood and also find a way to explain it to others.
Goddamn I love her....Dr.Ramani thank you so much.....for taking the time to share everything you worked so hard to learn, with us. Thank you Medcircle as well for giving her the platform to do so. ❤️
After believing I have certain disorders over the span of several years, finally finding something that describes my mental state to a T is really draining.. I feel crazy
I discovered I have BPD after dating a BPD and having no Clue why she was acting the way she was, it took being with one to figure it out and become self aware myself. Had I known then what I know now I can't say things would have ended much different, but I can say I would have had more skills and tools in the box to deal with our fights, feelings and behaviors. I wish more of this stuff was taught in high school so that it doesn't take being retraumatized to recognize these behaviors. Putting 2 BPD's together is like Mixing Fire and Gasoline especially when neither of them are aware of what they are or how they cope with their child hood traumas or fears of abandonment 😥
Did you tell her "I think you have BPD"?
She actually told me she thought I had BPD/NPD lol. That’s why I started looking into it because I thought she was a covert narcissist. She’s not but is does have some NPD traits as I do myself. She sorta knows something’s wrong with her but won’t admit what it actually is and claims that she is Bi-polar. She’s actually a Co-Morbid BPD with some Grandiose Narcissistic traits and she is highly Histrionic Personality Disorder. ClusteB’s are some times, often times and mixture of several things. I’m no DR. But am in therapy and have studied these disorders extensively. I base my Amature diagnoses of her based on her behaviors and things she has said about her past relationships and life. She fits the bill for BPD/HPD/NPD in that order as well as myself NPD/BPD/HPD in that order of most traits to least.
She actually told me she thought I had BPD/NPD lol. That’s why I started looking into it because I thought she was a covert narcissist. She’s not but is does have some NPD traits as I do myself. She sorta knows something’s wrong with her but won’t admit what it actually is and claims that she is Bi-polar. She’s actually a Co-Morbid BPD with some Grandiose Narcissistic traits and she is highly Histrionic Personality Disorder. ClusteB’s are some times, often times and mixture of several things. I’m no DR. But am in therapy and have studied these disorders extensively. I base my Amature diagnoses of her based on her behaviors and things she has said about her past relationships and life. She fits the bill for BPD/HPD/NPD in that order as well as myself NPD/BPD/HPD in that order of most traits to least.
She actually told me she thought I had BPD/NPD lol. That’s why I started looking into it because I thought she was a covert narcissist. She’s not but is does have some NPD traits as I do myself. She sorta knows something’s wrong with her but won’t admit what it actually is and claims that she is Bi-polar. She’s actually a Co-Morbid BPD with some Grandiose Narcissistic traits and she is highly Histrionic Personality Disorder. ClusteB’s are some times, often times and mixture of several things. I’m no DR. But am in therapy and have studied these disorders extensively. I base my Amature diagnoses of her based on her behaviors and things she has said about her past relationships and life. She fits the bill for BPD/HPD/NPD in that order as well as myself NPD/BPD/HPD in that order of most traits to least.
She actually told me she thought I had BPD/NPD lol. That’s why I started looking into it because I thought she was a covert narcissist. She’s not but is does have some NPD traits as I do myself. She sorta knows something’s wrong with her but won’t admit what it actually is and claims that she is Bi-polar. She’s actually a Co-Morbid BPD with some Grandiose Narcissistic traits and she is highly Histrionic Personality Disorder. ClusteB’s are some times, often times and mixture of several things. I’m no DR. But am in therapy and have studied these disorders extensively. I base my Amature diagnoses of her based on her behaviors and things she has said about her past relationships and life. She fits the bill for BPD/HPD/NPD in that order as well as myself NPD/BPD/HPD in that order of most traits to least.
I am both borderline and bipolar. I feel that the borderline fades more when you get older. The bipolar is more of a challenge. Also, it takes years of therapy and treatment to handle it. But it is VERY doable :)
Borderline doesn't just fuckin fade. Maybe u had it mild
It fades as you f up more and more you learn to guard and avoid ... it's not a healthy fading but it fades
I call it A-Z Psychiatric Disease 😢
My daughter has BPD. She is 16 and was diagnosed 2years ago. It's so bad I'm suffering. Everyday is a struggle. I can't even sleep at night. Waking up at night checking on her just to see what she is doing.
I am sending hugs to anyone wondering if they or someone they know might be suffering from BPD.
You can bring healing and balance into your life. Seek a good therapist and continue your search for clarity.
You got this!
We need more people like Dr. Durvasula in this world! She is truly amazing! ❤️
I'm a male that got diagnosed for BPD and I will say that I'm not a angry person but I become more emotional, like I can scream in pain and cry badly very often
She is so powerful and insightful! Please post more of her talks. Thanks. :)
Thank you for your last words, doctor ! The world needs more people like you.
Love Dr Ramani
The movie "Fatal Attraction" is an extreme example to use. That character Glenn Close played was also seemed to exhibit Sociopathy. I would say the movie "Girl Interrupted" was a much better example with Winona Ryder as the character having BPD. It would also make suffers of BPD feel better about themselves verses a movie like Fatal Attraction!
Spoiled people that want everything sugar coated.
You know what would make me feel better?!
When they stop abusing us non BPD's !!!!!
how about cable guy? LOL
@@davidnygaard9309 Yes! CABLE GUY= BPD
Is it possible for a man to have BPD and NPD? Or BPD with high traits of narcissism? My ex abused me narcissistically but he has all the symptoms of having BPD.
I wanna know too because same.
7:44 Guys, the background music here it's really out of place. Not only it interrupts Dr. Ramani and makes it hard to listen to what she's saying, but it also doesn't reflect properly the mood of the subject. Maybe wait until she finishes her idea to press that play button. P.S.: I love Dr. Ramani. Keep bringing her back
I like what they said that we should get rid of the stigma around mental health!
Ever since I told my friends O was diagnosed with BPD it sort of seemed like it scared them off and I was seen as a burden to get rid off.. Hope people suffering from these "patterns" in the future are met with understanding 🙏
“i ain’t saying it’s right, but it’s what we use.”
👍🏼, the pattern approach is valid too.
This woman is awesome! She speaks so well.
My brother and I have both been diagnosed with bpd. Thank-you Dr. Ramani and MedCircle for bringing attention to men who are also living with this disorder and the challenges they face receiving a diagnosis.
She's such a wonderful & inspiring woman ❤
I JUST went through a wrong diagnosis from a very bad psychologist in my community. I went over her head to the top psycologists to get this removed from my health chart. I have alot of chronic health issues and do not self Harm or live a precarious lifestyle. I dont fall under or carry any of the characteristics to suggest BPD.
This was awesome, I'm grateful my marriage counselor gave me this. Thank you Haley. Healing legacy y'all.
7:21 Her "preach" at the end, joke aside, was so spot on. Patterns > disorders.
People around me are less understanding. When I have an episode they ‘leave me to it” but that actually makes it worse for me. I’ve told them this but they still react in this way. It’s left me feeling withdrawn to my bedroom and lying to people saying that I’m fine when really I’m not. I’m scared to show my ‘unstable episodes’ to close people and so I’m digging myself deeper and deeper into my depression which I have on top of bpd
This is also an issue with Autism; as a woman i am overlooked and even told i cannot be autistic (and IM almost certain THATs a lot of my problem)
Thank you for more of this, it's why I subscribed. I'm fasinated by this subject and would encourage you to continue in this direction. The road rage video bored me to tears. I mean this constructively, I hope it's only taken that way.
Love it what you guys are doing here. Dr Ramani is amazing. Easy to understand. I cn feel her passionate bout her work towards the end of the video. Subscribed!
I love this Dr. Medcircle is wonderful. It has made me feel so much more confident about getting the help I need.
Most good psychologists are booked out 3-4 months out. But I agree she’s good.
Excellent talk ; and I completely agree with K. about the last segment of Dr.RD - loving, compassionate and transcendently empathic! the true professional attitude as well. Bravo!
How do people get diagnosed if they don't have an advocate? I've been to a few therapists and doctors and they are so secretive with me but when my wife calls them they have no problem telling her how messed up I am according to her.
That rug is much too big...
Did she ever once talk about the actual signs of BPD?
I am literally crying as i watch this, I was mis diagnosed narcissistic and tried suicide, after years of bulemia and self harming literally displaying every bpd symptoms in the book and received no follow up therapy for years, left the country with wonderful man I carried on self harming to cope with bad dreams, anxiety, and fears, turns out I had borderline, never even knew what borderline was and I got straight into DBT therapy, I honestly felt like that NPD diagnosis was albatross around my neck that rendered everything i did, said, spoke totally fake. I was a liar, a manipulator and a phony I was not real, and it really hurt. I am so happy to watch this I sent it to my partner, diagnosis is the first step path on the path to recovery, not the destination, thank you x
Dr Romani just your voice is comforting! You are amazing and an earth angel! I love my borderline man so much and I will never give up on him. He doesn't have a 'disorder' he is fighting tough cards he's been dealt with and stepping up. He is a warrior. Thank you for having the clarity, knowledge and good heart to not stigmatise but just to fairly help and direct what is right💕
I think my fiance has BPD traits--as well as his diagnosed TBI and PTSD. This can be very challenging. On the one hand he's brilliant, on the other hand in men BPD traits tend to manifest as anger and narcissistic Tendencies. This is true of him.
When he's not engaging in these things he's very loving and empathetic and insightful and a deep person, also playful and wonderfully creative.
But the TBI (traumatic brain injury), PTSD, and the Borderline traits, plus narcissistic tendencies make it very hard. Thankfully he responded to my urging him to get back on medication and find more relevant and effective therapy. But it's three steps forward then one alarming big step back. Were it not for the effective medication and the very great therapist he found, our relationship probably wouldn't have survived, which would have been tragic, because we love each other very dearly.
Dr. Ramani always brings all the boyz 2 da yard!
I would also argue that men with BPD in general have it worse, because for women to find a partner is relatively easy given she is not ugly. But for a man with BPD to find a partner is unbelievably hard, because all the symptoms of BPD is exactly what turns women off. Not to mention a fully grown man with BPD is alot scarier than a woman with BPD
A lot of women are drawn to men who seem troubled, but that's more prevalent in alternative, creative subcultures, like goths and indie circles, actors and artists. The same subcultures tend to have a lot of women who like scrawny men whose legs look great in skinny jeans and whose eyes are big enough to look good in thick mascara. Androgyny too, just look at Bowie's armies of ladies throwing their knickers at his slender "good for drawing stylistic art of" body and sourpuss painted face. In every way, being atypical of manly ideals that the mainstream culture has, is actually a good thing for your dating life if you happen to be in a creative subculture.
@@compulsiverambler1352 interesting point dude! but most men with bpd do not have a job either, which is a massive turn off
im 6’4 myself, avid gym goer, i would rate myself a 8/10, it’s hard attracting women when they find out you cannot work because of your mental health despite all the hobbies and looks
women typically don’t like to look after men lets be real
ive had a partner slap me across for quitting a job
Beautifully said Dr. Ramani, thank you!
Dr. Rumani is amazing! I love her so much! We definitely need to raise more empathy for all types of mental illnesses. When we start taking it seriously is when we can change or do something about it.
I love how you put that in the end. Absolutely amazing..❤
As always this Dr. Nailed it! So clear and precise and confident...
I always thought my fiancé might be narcissistic or even a sociopath but It’s never made full sense to me because he is very empathetic and very good to me in a lot of ways like will take care of me and reacts to how i feel very clearly knows when somethings wrong with me. He always sees the best in people and isn’t quick to judge anyone and all around a pretty loving and kind hearted person and it comes off very genuine and his true self. But then there’s the side to him where he’s reckless, impulsive, been to prison for his H addiction, has anger outbursts when he’s in the wrong and tries to take it out on me by saying it’s my fault whenever he’s clearly angry with himself and then admits that later. He’s never laid a hand on me and would never but he throws tantrums and throws shit when he’s upset with himself. Has lied plenty of times (I consider that tying in with the drug guilt), in the past before me had been overly sexually active, very intense with his love, used to fall in love very easily, used to be very self obsessed and at the same time extremely co dependent and has cut his arm or tried to kill himself before when thinking he’s gonna lose me. I’m starting to think maybe he’s borderline? As a teen he was diagnosed briefly with bipolar but bi polar just doesn’t seem to fit him and he doesn’t think it does either but he also doesn’t really believe in diagnosis. It’s just strange because I’ve never known a guy show so many signs of narcissism but yet at the same time be completely down to earth and the perfect most loving partner when sober and healthy.
Wow reading this felt like I was reading about my bf. Has he been able to see someone for a potential diagnosis? My bf struggles with substance abuse, mainly alcoholism and I feel it perpetuates his behaviors that to me seem like bpd also
Thanks Kyle, thanks Dr. Ramani. Great stuff.
Love Dr Ramani and Love Medcircle and Kyle for bringing such a mental health talent and expert like her on board... Wish I could meet you guya
Everything about this sounds like my boyfriend... no professional can tell him anything... just say he’s angry... I’ve been studying this disorder and thinking that he’s suffering from this for over 2 years. We’re going to see a psychologist and I’m going to make them look into this. Men with borderline personality disorder seem to direct anger outward more often.
I've commented on several of your videos and haven't gotten a response. I hope that changes this time around. I love your videos, and they're so informative...but I'm having a hard time figuring out if I even fit in any of these. I do have SOMETHING wrong, I can't figure out what it is, and it's been so incredibly devestating to my personal life, marriage life, and work life. I've been to a psychologist to be tested for Adult ADHD and was told that's not what I have, I can focus just fine in the short term, but I have an undiagnosed and unknown personality disorder and an inability to deal with boredom or mundane/tedious tasks. I was recommended to go see a psychotherapist to hash out EXACTLY what my issues are, but I just can't afford it. It's SO EXPENSIVE, and I don't have the money to see a specialist like this. Yet on the other hand, this issue is destroying my life. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock, and a hard place in quick sand. I need help.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with all these issues. I hope and wish for you, to get asap the help you need and deserve. In order to be able to live as much possibble peaceful life.
Eric, take a look at this video. While the RUclips host deals mostly with D.I.D., this video makes suggestions on how to start getting treatment. There are websites now that provide mental health assistance including a psychiatrist and a psychologist. They are slowly, but FINALLY, realizing that many people needing mental healthcare can't afford it or love in a too remote of a location to find it.
ruclips.net/video/0l0Wkre6wJQ/видео.html
Listening to your last words there is a long way to go! There is a very distressing side effect of treating patient as victims of abuse that is a growing loss of interest in psychologists and psychiatrists for personality disorder people ,they see like parasite, and refuse to treat with a preconceived idea they wont follow through, fit in, at best will drop out, and as one psychologist in the victimology field told me" do you believe in miracle? I dont !" Talking about my bpd bf , when I expressed my regret that my bf wasnt seeking help. She only knew me for 20 min a.d never met my bf, what did she knew about him? Nothing, but she would sell for sound to drop all hope because of his profile , a bit fatalist, where is the science a.d the ethic?
"The diagnosis is only the tool to choose the right treatment." I think I just felt the earth shift beneath me.
Would you please dedicate one video about the medication for borderline?
JHN FA there is no medication, though people with BPD can also have depression and anxiety that can warrant medications. The best treatment for BPD is dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)
@@Annie-dm1tu Hi!, I know that what I meant was cover common medication according to the symptoms. Example, for depression, is normal to use this, for anxiety use that and the effects.
There's not biomedical treatment options for BPD specifically. Trust me I'd swallow any icky pill if tamed my BPD battles. The only pills that might help are anti-depressants but that only helps when the person is actually depressed. You can't cure it, you can only manage the symptoms. DBT group therapy and intensive outpatient individual therapy are the first stepping stones. Visiting a psychiatrist isn't the worst option but again there's only so much one pill can do. This is a mental illness meant to be dealt with holistically.
@@Annie-dm1tu DBT is the best tool at the moment to help those with BPD. Some meds I've seen working on a youth inpatient unit where the kids have many different diagnosises include abilify, sertraline, fluoxetine, clonazepam, loxapine, quietiapine, lmaotrigine, seroquel, trazadone......they treat many different things but are common at least in the Canadian mental health system at the moment
@@twilightedwardbella9 I shit you not i've been on almost every one of those medications minus imaotrigine. I have BPD or DID I've seen many psychiatrists and therapists the diagnoses I have so far is BPD with severe dissociation. Boarding on Depression, Anxiety,ADD and DID so i'm told.
DSM…. Love her! “ I ain’t saying it’s right , but it’s what we use” AGREE
Geeze this Dr always teaches me things I never knew ! Thats with being a psych student
like just just throw a mat in this room right in the middle of you and me on the floor to see if we can warm up the distance and the coldness in the way you speak about us apecially this lady. Good God you people
I started to see that I show the patterns in borderline personality disorder. I noticed it while watching a psychologist show how Anakin Skywalker has borderline personality disorder. To be honest, I would rather call it a relationship mindset then a personality disorder.
What video would that be
I love listening to Dr. Ramani Durvasula!
I was "asperger's" from 12-19 until I was diagnosed BPD. I took meds for being autistic for so many years when I never had any autism spectrum disorder
Let me tell you what it's like to be a man with borderline personality disorder... Not only we don't matter, but the psychology world is biased and filled with man haters. I can't tell you how many times I've been at a doctor's office, and I get told that the only thing men care about is status and sex. Gee, so helpful. I'll just take my empty shell of a self and go back into my corner.
is there a link between BPD and Empaths?
I'm an Empath & I attracted a BPD man. It turned out he was a closet homosexual w/ a gender identity issue as well. Unbeknownst to me his NPD father was pressuring him to hurry up & get married to quell rumors. I endured 35 years of the most hellish life with those two it's beyond words. My husband did commit suicide just as his psychiatrist had predicted.
Love this! Also, have seen BPD men misdiagnosed as bipolar (or with depression mixed with ADHD) :/
Dex in Daredevil - watching that one scene of him as a kid interviewed by the therapist is what made me go "Wait, what? That's bpd?" is what made me realize I had BPD
Hi there! I would be interested to see your take/explanation between the difference of schizoid, schizophrenia and schizotypal personality disorder. As well as the difference between OCD and OCPD 'cause I know that a lot of people out there are confused and use these terms interchangeably. Thank you! Huge fan btw ❤❤
I really find your videos helpful in my training.
The only reason I got diagnosed initially with this diagnosis was because I was chronically suicidal and kept attempting with no regrets at the time
There's a channel called Cinema Therapy and in one of their older videos the therapist says Anakin Skywalker shows signs of Borderline Personality Disorder. I highly recommend watching that video for another good overview of BPD.
My day treatment center is full of BPDs with different tendencies, both men and women.