@@sheykenasababy Semi Charmed Life is about a couple (the singer and his gf) struggling w meth addiction but it's so damn catchy that people sing along to it without really knowing what the song is about.
You dislike the stuff that gets uploaded by my fingers clicking upload? Are you just a h8er boi? I say see you l8er boi. Don't watch the stuff that gets uploaded by my fingers clicking upload anymore. Your dislikes are damaging my good good GOOD reputation. I am a superstar, dear pere
John made so many comments about how he's "not expecting," or "childless" that I think he may be lying to us. Quick somebody email buzzfeed to make a "Top 10 youtubers expexcting" article and tell them to put John at #1.
A torque wrench is a wrench with a mechanism that helps you tighten bolts with an exact amount of torque. Basically, it prevents both overtightening and undertightening if used correctly. #YIAYline
@@kabhes9040 well you could use a ratchet wrench for that also to not lift the wrench all the time, and use the torque wrench for the specific bolts that need the correct torque.
@@AutoSearPin i mean there was mentioned that with a torque wrench you don't need to lift the wrench when tightening. I would rather use a ratchet wrench for everything that is not that important to have the perfect torque, so i do not have to adjust the torque setting all the time. Then when tightening something that needs a specific amount of torque (like a car engine head) i would use the torque wrench. Of course wheels are recommended to tighten to a specific torque but me and my father just use a pneumatic power wrench or bolt gun or whatever it's called in english on the lowest setting (1/4) in a star pattern and then hand tighten until snug in a star pattern.
“Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,' which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever” #YIAYline
It annoys me how everyone wants to make podcasts now. Podcasts appear easy to make so everyone thinks they could do it, but there aren't that many great ones. It's not as easy as it looks.
#YIAYline * early 2000s sunglasses and spiky hair required "You see, a torque wrench just looks like a really large wrench, but in fact is much more. By turning the handle of the wrench, you can set the torque to tighten a bolt or nut to. When you reach this torque the wrench will "pop" to tell you to stop tightening. Now, setting a torque is very important for when you could damage the material by over-tightening, or risk the bolt loosening by under-tightening. This is most commonly seen with the lug nuts on the wheels of your car. Under-tighten them, and the bolts could fall off along with the wheel of your car while you're driving. Over-tighten them, and your wheel could crack hey where are you going?
I have a deflection bar torque wrench, i find it vastly superior to ratchet torque wrenches. I've also used it in place of a cheater bar because it's got such a long lever arm. Wait, come back
Absolutely lost it when he said "why is the kid in a police outfit" because that didn't even register for me at first and in retrospect, why IS the kid in a police outfit?
As a woman, I speak for all of us when I say: Random men we don’t know, staring at us creepily and calling us names like “Sweetie” will indeed get us to go out on a date with you. We’re not scared and planning our escape at all. #yiayline
@@frenchfry4017 I’m sure you meant that as an insult but all this comment makes me think is, “Yay! I can put away my pepper spray and vast array of weapons!”
John thinks that holding the flashlight is just another zoomer meme, while it’s actually a reality that he doesn’t get, because of his lack of father-son bonds.
I helped out my dad fix something for the first time last summer as a birthday present. I had just reached 28 years old and it was unironically one of the best birthday presents he ever gave me. No clue what that says about me, but because of it, I actually kinda agree.
My usual pick up line is Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! "Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift." Oh...12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay... Phone starts to call Mark: Hello?... Hello? Oh, I can't move. That is a creepy skull, there's creepy things on the wall. Oh, hello. Phone Guy: Hello? Mark: Hi! Phone Guy: Hello? Mark: HI!!! Phone Guy: Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Mark: Ugh... Phone Guy: Um, I actually worked in that office before you. Mark: Ah... Phone Guy: I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. Mark: Hm? Phone Guy: So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming... Mark: Uugh! U-hu-hu... Phone Guy: ...but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Mark: Eh... Phone Guy: Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Mark: Okay, sound goo- O... Phone Guy: Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Mark: Uh-huh. Phone Guy: Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Mark: Okay. Phone Guy: A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike... Mark: (Scared laughing) Phone Guy: where fantasy and fun come to life. Mark: Uughuh! Phone Guy: Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced. Mark: (Totaly in panic mode) Phone Guy: Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know... Mark: Yeah! Phone Guy: but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. Mark: (Scared laughing) Phone Guy: If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Mark: Okay! Phone Guy: Okay. Mark: Okay... Phone Guy: So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Mark: No way... Phone Guy: Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Mark: (Scared laughing) Phone Guy: Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Mark: Ugh... Phone Guy: Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Mark: THE BITE?! Phone Guy: Yeah. Mark: What bite!? Phone Guy: I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Mark: WHY?! Phone Guy: Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. Mark: Oh, OH! Phone Guy: They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Mark: Oh, I get it. Phone Guy: Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices... Mark: Uh-huh. Phone Guy: ...especially around the facial area. Mark: Uh-huh. Phone Guy: So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... Mark: Yeah! Phone Guy: ...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Mark: Ugh! Oh, why... What happend? Phone Guy: Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Mark: THAT'S NOT GOOD... Phone Guy: Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night. Call ends Mark: GOOD NIGHT?! Mark: OH NO... OH THAT'S BAD! I understand what I need to do. I need to watch the cams so that they don't come after- ONE'S MISSING!! Bonnie is in the Backstage Mark: OH, HI! There you are, pretty bunny thing... Okay... Okay, okay, I get it, I get it, I get it, where'd you go? You're still there? Alright, you stay there. I don't know if it's good that you're staring at me! Oh my god. I thought it was weird that it couldn't move, but this is totally different... than any horror game I've ever played. So what you gotta do in case you not getting it is you gotta watch the cameras to make sure they don't come by- You got a little much power- Is he still there? Hi, you're still there. Wait a minute, what, DID YOU MOVE?! Okay, you didn't move. You don't move neither... You don't moving nothing... If I see you moving... I don't wanna see anything...Oh-oh-oh MY GOD! THIS'S TERRIFYING! Why do I leave doors so open, why isn't there enough power- Bonnie is in the Dining Area Mark: Hi, okay, you moved again. Hi. What are you doing there? Might be getting a little close to me... Camera goes static Mark: O-oh, oh, no, OH NO, NO, NOOO! No-no-no... Nooo, no, no, close the clo-ose, closing, closing! Eh. YOU'LL NEVER GET ME! Okay, you're over there, alright...It's okay. Why didn't I have enough power for lights? Stay right there you douchebag! You stay right the F there... God, dammit! That was like- this is like the most terrifying game I ever played! They're gonna pop out at me! Oh, god, he's gone. Hi. Okay. You just gonna alternate between the two places, it's totally fine. And your friends, they ain't moving. They're not moving, are they? I see where I am. You're not near me. So, that's good. Just gonna periodically check... How much long do I need- I need last to 6 a.m. Oh god, am I gonna have enough power? If I run out of power thy'll able to get me! Oh god... You stay right there! Why am I still using some power? O-oh god... Seriously, I what... this like... this like... bad! You're still there, okay. This is a first night, they said it should be easy to first night so I only assuming one of them... just gonna wandering around and it is a creepy bunny guy. ♪{Happy fun time at Freddy's, in fun land... having such a wonderful time...}♪ Okay, so, you still there? Okay, you still there... I'm gonna name you... Bunny Blallagy- Camera goes static Mark: OH GOD WHERE'D YOU GO?! Oh god, he's here? Hello? Where'd he go? Hi again, okay. You stay right the F there! I don't want to have to deal with you... Mark closes both doors Mark: Probably shouldn't do that, I need to conserve power. God dammit I was like have the damn thing in- I think the doors were down. You're still there? Oh-kay... Oh-kay. Oh-kay! (Scared laughing) Music starts Mark: I hear that... I HEAR THAT! OH GOD! WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?! WHERE'S HE?! U-UGH! U-UGH! WHERE IS HE?! Where'd you go? Where'd you go, where'd you go, where are both of them, both of th- Bonnie is in the West Hall Mark: H'i, you are really close to me! Oh god, it's not 6 a.m. yet?hica is in Restrooms Mark: Hi. Okay. So I think I just need to keep the left door closed? (Crying) NOT OKAY NOT OKAY! Is he behind that door? No, where'd he go? Where- Chica is in the East Hall AH! OH HI HI HI HI HI HI OKAY OKAY, I DON'T HAVE MUCH POWER LEFT. What you gonna do? Is the other one still there? U-uh! HI... Oh, you moved again! Where where where? (Scared laughing) What do I do, what do I do- Foxy attacks! AH-HAH, FUCKING FUCK! I TRIED TO PUSH IT! OH-OH MY GOD! Ah... Oh... Game Over Mark: Oh, game over indeed! Oh, are those my eyeballs? Auh... (coughs) Oh hi... Okay. So that's Five Nights at Freddy's, I couldn't even survive two, GOD DAMMIT! HAH! OH, GOD! Oh, I tried to hit the door- I tried so bad... Oh... Okay. Okay, thank you all so much for watching, check out the other scary games that I played, if you want to play it by yourself, you can check it in the description bellow. If you REALLY want me to play it again and try to BEAT it, let me know in the comments below. Thanks again everybody and as always, I will see YOU in the next video. BYE-BYE! #YIAYline
"H-Hey baby- I um thi-th-think those kn-kn-ee-knees are uh l-lookin' pretty um uh w-w-wobbly today." And then run away in embarrassment and puke next to the nearest convenience store. #YIAYline
“Hey girl, I must be jesus, cuz you look like a sin worth dying for.” For context I fed this line to a friend of mine who was hitting on a girl at a club, ON EASTER, while he was dressed as Jesus. It worked.
I've gotta say, people not knowing what a torque wrench is has got me fuming to the point I should probably make some calls to make sure I'm not a dad.
I love that Jack assumes that holding a flashlight for your dad is a meme when it’s actually very common. And the fact that we’re saying this in the comments will not confirm that it’s not a meme because we could just be feeding into it.
So a torque wrench is a wrench that allows you to tighten nuts and bolts to the proper torque so that they won’t fall out. It’s usually used on cars and car parts, since nuts and bolts are likely to loosen due to the vibrations of the road if the nuts and bolts aren’t tight enough. #YIAYline
I'm gonna be honest I was hoping someone else would comment this bc I got slightly upset when neither the mods nor Jack knew what a torque wrench is so thank you for doing the job of dad with torque wrenches everywhere
REEEEAAALLY useful in a machine shop (and I’m sure many other non-automobile-centric shops), as well. Got some aluminum part with a total of .0005 inch tolerance on the bored dimension in the center of the part? Grab the torque wrench! (Also, how did no one know? It’s in the name, it’s a wrench that controls the amount of torque that goes into your tightening of stuff.)
every time Jack talks about how he has no kids I just imagine Klondike, Sundae, and Chip in the corner looking up at him like "father why have you forsaken us"
I'm so happy I stumbled upon you again Jack. I stopped watching for a couple of years, not because I didn't like your content, just sort of drifted away from binging on youtube vids... It brings a great smile to my face seeing you still deliver really fun content. You rock!
"Stacy's dad, is really kind of rad. He's all I want, and I want him so bad. Stacy can't you see, you're just not the one for me. I know it might be sad, but I'm in love with Stacy's dad " -Stacy's Dad by Uncle Izzy
I got one of those dad gamer shirts for my 60-year-old stepdad as a bit of a gag and he freaking loves it! He immediately changed into it and wore it around proudly. He is too precious for this world!
Jack never had the "holding the flashlight incorrectly" experience because dads always hold it the right way. He has always had dad energy, he was destined to have three gremlin dogs as children
Either his dad is just really good, or he just doesn't see Jack as "competent". But hey that sounds mean and stupid. Speaking off can I get the source of your profile pic?
@@ammagon4519 holy shit I should find it but I don't know it, I should change it to respect the artist (it's a fanart of a game called 999, if you don't know, if you do you have great taste in games)
8:36 a torque wrench is a tool commonly used on motorcycles and bicycles which has an adjustable torque limit, to prevent over tightening or damaging parts on the vehicle, that might cost hundreds or thousands of smackeroos.
Hey girl, did you know that in March of this year James Cameron's Avatar retook the #1 spot from Avengers Endgame due to a mainland Chinese rerelease? Yes, I am a very informed citizen!
Torque Wrench: A wrench that tightens bolts and nuts to certain Torques so they’re tight enough to not automatically back out and also not too tight where you break the bolt or nut.
"Ey girl, what say we go back to my place? My parents are gone for the weekend, I've got three packages of nuggies ready to be microwaved, and the whole third season of MLP queued up and ready to go." #YIAYline
When you're already talking at the bar or sm, just whip this out. "I think you dropped something", and she / he / they / it will go "What?" And then you can say, "Your standards."
Jack if you want to wear the father gamer shirt then you must be a father. it's a crime to not adhere to this with a penalty of a $1000 fine or 100 hours of community service
A torque wrench is a wrench for tightening the lug nuts on the tires. Those nuts need to be tightened enough but not too much so the torque wrench measures how tight it is.
“Hey Bebe are you Jesus because I’d get on my hands and knees for you” is what my friend said, then followed it up by “it doesn’t work and I’ve never used it, I just think it’s funny” #YIAYline
Jack: *Sings a song about a couple overdosing on meth and dying*
"This is a dad song if I've ever heard one!"
Ygs 75??? 🤯
@@nubscrub1840 ?
It's a very dad thing to completely miss the point of a song about meth because it's so darned catchy.
Explain plz.
@@sheykenasababy Semi Charmed Life is about a couple (the singer and his gf) struggling w meth addiction but it's so damn catchy that people sing along to it without really knowing what the song is about.
Jack never holding the flashlight for his dad explains so much.
misread this as fleshlight, am I going to hell
@@dressedhatto8093 yes
Like how he doesn't know what a torque wrench is?
That and not getting grunted at when putting the heat and air on a more reasonable temperature
@@sunkissed37 good to know
Jack over here like "Any woman that requires a step ladder..."
Jack, in your case, that is almost every woman.
Ouch.
Hahhaahahahhaha
yeah he's like 5"4
@@Supreme-Machine 1”0*
EEEEEEEYIKES
Poor Jack never felt the self-inflicted humiliation of being unable to point a flashlight properly. 0/10 respect for Mr. Films.
You dislike the stuff that gets uploaded by my fingers clicking upload? Are you just a h8er boi? I say see you l8er boi. Don't watch the stuff that gets uploaded by my fingers clicking upload anymore. Your dislikes are damaging my good good GOOD reputation. I am a superstar, dear pere
You mean John
The real funny thing is that it isn't a meme, it's a thing most of us suffer.
@J Dude Why is this J dude promoting a lyrics video in every reply thread? Heck off!
@@AxxLAfriku judging by the fact you can barely type I don’t think your reputation nearly as good as you think
As someone who’s bought a pony up Daddy. I can confirm. It was not bought for a child.
Love your videos but don't recall seeing the 'Pony Up Daddy' in any of them...
Omg I love your channel and I didn't expect to find you on this part of the internet. 💗💗💗
how is your channel not banned yet bro
Considering I’ve seen more people use them on their dogs, this makes it really awkward
Oh
“Pony up daddy” legitimately sounds like some BDSM gear, there is no way the person who named it that wasn’t aware of it
"any woman that requires a step ladder just to look at is too tall for me" bold words coming from a man who's three feet fall.
there is nothing with jack being three feet tall.
that’s because he is actually two feet tall
I feel for Jack, he clearly wants a baby but his wife’s boyfriend is not ready for that kind of responsibility.
bad day?
Bad day?
bad day?
bad day?
bad day?
They drew you looking like Joel McHale
Ironically, he's a dad
"All Dads are proud of their children"? Jack, your dad doesn't even trust you to hold the flashlight, what are you talking about?
Bad Day?
@@bslvrs Bad Dad?
@@Win090949 Bad dab?
@@amazingman1458 Dad Dab?
mhm...
Jack not having to hold a flashlight for his Dad and him not knowing what a torque wrench shows that we had drastically different childhoods.
Imagine if John and Erin had children because he wanted to wear a gamer dad shirt. That's dedication.
Dad-ication, you mean.
If he's determined enough than Klondike, Sundae, qnd Chipwich work.
Nah they'll have a kid to make the divorce papers look more complete
@@Artyvern i hate you
He already has 3 children
Remember when Jack said “nobody wants to listen to your 90 minute podcast”? I remember
each episode will be 89 minutes long
Oh yeah i member
how can the human brain remember one specific chunk of information and lose all other context
Pepperidge farm remembers
@great day shut uP
John made so many comments about how he's "not expecting," or "childless" that I think he may be lying to us. Quick somebody email buzzfeed to make a "Top 10 youtubers expexcting" article and tell them to put John at #1.
Or maybe he just doesn’t want a child so he and Erin can continue to drink all day long.
@@zacharygilmore1075 millenials don't care about that. Even if they have kids, they will still drink wine all day
"Any woman that needs a step ladder to look at is too tall"
-Johnathan 5'2 Douglas
He’s 5’3 get your facts right
E
@JOHN SELFRIDGE *4.3 inches
He simply cannot appreciate a good Tall Woman when he sees one because he too fucking tiny
@@HorrificHGgames centimeters*
“Are you a Nintendo Switch cartridge? Cause people say you taste awful but I still want it in my mouth” #YIAYline
Yoooo
@Wally Wally you wanna go, Mr. Bot?
STOP
A torque wrench is a wrench with a mechanism that helps you tighten bolts with an exact amount of torque. Basically, it prevents both overtightening and undertightening if used correctly. #YIAYline
and you dont have to keep lifting the wrench up
@@kabhes9040 well you could use a ratchet wrench for that also to not lift the wrench all the time, and use the torque wrench for the specific bolts that need the correct torque.
Changing a car engine head? Just tighten to 2 grunts torque spec, should be fine.
@@nameless_4084 yeah…but the torque wrench is so much cooler..the little beep and knowing the machine told you it’s right.
I might go buy one rn…
@@AutoSearPin i mean there was mentioned that with a torque wrench you don't need to lift the wrench when tightening. I would rather use a ratchet wrench for everything that is not that important to have the perfect torque, so i do not have to adjust the torque setting all the time. Then when tightening something that needs a specific amount of torque (like a car engine head) i would use the torque wrench. Of course wheels are recommended to tighten to a specific torque but me and my father just use a pneumatic power wrench or bolt gun or whatever it's called in english on the lowest setting (1/4) in a star pattern and then hand tighten until snug in a star pattern.
“Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,' which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever” #YIAYline
Wow, I didn't know that! :O
E
Wanna puck?
A really clever reference.
didn't that line fail when scott used it in the movie?
oh god he finally caved and made a podcast
i thought this was a yiay response at first
More like she finally caved.
@@instagramuser7023 shut up!
Erin's in it, so at least it'll be kinda funny
It annoys me how everyone wants to make podcasts now. Podcasts appear easy to make so everyone thinks they could do it, but there aren't that many great ones. It's not as easy as it looks.
#YIAYline * early 2000s sunglasses and spiky hair required
"You see, a torque wrench just looks like a really large wrench, but in fact is much more. By turning the handle of the wrench, you can set the torque to tighten a bolt or nut to. When you reach this torque the wrench will "pop" to tell you to stop tightening. Now, setting a torque is very important for when you could damage the material by over-tightening, or risk the bolt loosening by under-tightening. This is most commonly seen with the lug nuts on the wheels of your car. Under-tighten them, and the bolts could fall off along with the wheel of your car while you're driving. Over-tighten them, and your wheel could crack hey where are you going?
The “hey where are you going?” got me 😂
Thanks dad
Man this pickup line is so good
I have a deflection bar torque wrench, i find it vastly superior to ratchet torque wrenches. I've also used it in place of a cheater bar because it's got such a long lever arm. Wait, come back
"If you were a fruit, you would be a FINEAPPLE.
And if you were a vegetable, I'd still come visit you in the hospital."
#YIAYline
bad day?
6:01 that “what the fuck” from Jack made me laugh really hard.
This was a fun episode.
Absolutely lost it when he said "why is the kid in a police outfit" because that didn't even register for me at first and in retrospect, why IS the kid in a police outfit?
The genuine confusion is what’s funny
As a woman, I speak for all of us when I say: Random men we don’t know, staring at us creepily and calling us names like “Sweetie” will indeed get us to go out on a date with you. We’re not scared and planning our escape at all. #yiayline
Dangit I need to start doing it now, thanks random -sweetie- lady!
Don't worry, I call everyone sweetie! Men, women, boys, girls, animals, that hot 2nd cousin I have, myself.
Nobody wants to do that to you.
@@frenchfry4017 I don’t need to see this woman to know she’s way out of your league bucko
@@frenchfry4017 I’m sure you meant that as an insult but all this comment makes me think is, “Yay! I can put away my pepper spray and vast array of weapons!”
John thinks that holding the flashlight is just another zoomer meme, while it’s actually a reality that he doesn’t get, because of his lack of father-son bonds.
Or his dad never tried to fix anything in the house that needed a flashlight.
So, his dad is not a real dad.
I helped out my dad fix something for the first time last summer as a birthday present. I had just reached 28 years old and it was unironically one of the best birthday presents he ever gave me.
No clue what that says about me, but because of it, I actually kinda agree.
Jack: Just to be clear, we are NOT expecting
Also Jack: Proceeds to dadbait for the rest of the video
E
Pickup line:
"hey," *pulls out fake store bought handcuffs from Party City*
"you're under arrest for breaking and entering into my heart"
Christian pickup line:
“I was reading the book of Numbers the other day, and I realized I didn’t have yours!” #YIAYline
Abusive ex got my number this way…. Lol
@@opalrose2002 Oof yikes. Sorry about that 😅 Can’t believe someone actually used this line in real life, haha
@@UkuleleLauren neither could I 😂 dw I laugh about it now
@@opalrose2002 u good olivia ?
Here’s one I used
“Do you have my number?”
No..?
“Do you want it?”
4:30
*Here we see YGS slipping through Jack’s fingers with the word “Road”*
My usual pick up line is
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! "Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift." Oh...12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay...
Phone starts to call
Mark: Hello?... Hello? Oh, I can't move. That is a creepy skull, there's creepy things on the wall. Oh, hello.
Phone Guy: Hello?
Mark: Hi!
Phone Guy: Hello?
Mark: HI!!!
Phone Guy: Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night.
Mark: Ugh...
Phone Guy: Um, I actually worked in that office before you.
Mark: Ah...
Phone Guy: I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact.
Mark: Hm?
Phone Guy: So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming...
Mark: Uugh! U-hu-hu...
Phone Guy: ...but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about.
Mark: Eh...
Phone Guy: Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week.
Mark: Okay, sound goo- O...
Phone Guy: Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read.
Mark: Uh-huh.
Phone Guy: Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
Mark: Okay.
Phone Guy: A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike...
Mark: (Scared laughing)
Phone Guy: where fantasy and fun come to life.
Mark: Uughuh!
Phone Guy: Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.
Mark: (Totaly in panic mode)
Phone Guy: Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know...
Mark: Yeah!
Phone Guy: but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No.
Mark: (Scared laughing)
Phone Guy: If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right?
Mark: Okay!
Phone Guy: Okay.
Mark: Okay...
Phone Guy: So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit.
Mark: No way...
Phone Guy: Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night.
Mark: (Scared laughing)
Phone Guy: Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long.
Mark: Ugh...
Phone Guy: Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Mark: THE BITE?!
Phone Guy: Yeah.
Mark: What bite!?
Phone Guy: I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?
Mark: WHY?!
Phone Guy: Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person.
Mark: Oh, OH!
Phone Guy: They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit.
Mark: Oh, I get it.
Phone Guy: Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices...
Mark: Uh-huh.
Phone Guy: ...especially around the facial area.
Mark: Uh-huh.
Phone Guy: So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...
Mark: Yeah!
Phone Guy: ...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Mark: Ugh! Oh, why... What happend?
Phone Guy: Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary.
Mark: THAT'S NOT GOOD...
Phone Guy: Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night.
Call ends
Mark: GOOD NIGHT?!
Mark: OH NO... OH THAT'S BAD! I understand what I need to do. I need to watch the cams so that they don't come after- ONE'S MISSING!!
Bonnie is in the Backstage
Mark: OH, HI! There you are, pretty bunny thing... Okay... Okay, okay, I get it, I get it, I get it, where'd you go? You're still there? Alright, you stay there. I don't know if it's good that you're staring at me! Oh my god. I thought it was weird that it couldn't move, but this is totally different... than any horror game I've ever played. So what you gotta do in case you not getting it is you gotta watch the cameras to make sure they don't come by- You got a little much power- Is he still there? Hi, you're still there. Wait a minute, what, DID YOU MOVE?! Okay, you didn't move. You don't move neither... You don't moving nothing... If I see you moving... I don't wanna see anything...Oh-oh-oh MY GOD! THIS'S TERRIFYING! Why do I leave doors so open, why isn't there enough power- Bonnie is in the Dining Area
Mark: Hi, okay, you moved again. Hi. What are you doing there? Might be getting a little close to me...
Camera goes static
Mark: O-oh, oh, no, OH NO, NO, NOOO! No-no-no... Nooo, no, no, close the clo-ose, closing, closing! Eh. YOU'LL NEVER GET ME! Okay, you're over there, alright...It's okay. Why didn't I have enough power for lights? Stay right there you douchebag! You stay right the F there... God, dammit! That was like- this is like the most terrifying game I ever played! They're gonna pop out at me! Oh, god, he's gone. Hi. Okay. You just gonna alternate between the two places, it's totally fine. And your friends, they ain't moving. They're not moving, are they? I see where I am. You're not near me. So, that's good. Just gonna periodically check... How much long do I need- I need last to 6 a.m. Oh god, am I gonna have enough power? If I run out of power thy'll able to get me! Oh god... You stay right there! Why am I still using some power? O-oh god... Seriously, I what... this like... this like... bad! You're still there, okay. This is a first night, they said it should be easy to first night so I only assuming one of them... just gonna wandering around and it is a creepy bunny guy. ♪{Happy fun time at Freddy's, in fun land... having such a wonderful time...}♪ Okay, so, you still there? Okay, you still there... I'm gonna name you... Bunny Blallagy-
Camera goes static
Mark: OH GOD WHERE'D YOU GO?! Oh god, he's here? Hello? Where'd he go? Hi again, okay. You stay right the F there! I don't want to have to deal with you...
Mark closes both doors
Mark: Probably shouldn't do that, I need to conserve power. God dammit I was like have the damn thing in- I think the doors were down. You're still there? Oh-kay... Oh-kay. Oh-kay! (Scared laughing)
Music starts
Mark: I hear that... I HEAR THAT! OH GOD! WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?! WHERE'S HE?! U-UGH! U-UGH! WHERE IS HE?! Where'd you go? Where'd you go, where'd you go, where are both of them, both of th-
Bonnie is in the West Hall
Mark: H'i, you are really close to me! Oh god, it's not 6 a.m. yet?hica is in Restrooms
Mark: Hi. Okay. So I think I just need to keep the left door closed? (Crying) NOT OKAY NOT OKAY! Is he behind that door? No, where'd he go? Where-
Chica is in the East Hall
AH! OH HI HI HI HI HI HI OKAY OKAY, I DON'T HAVE MUCH POWER LEFT. What you gonna do? Is the other one still there? U-uh! HI... Oh, you moved again! Where where where? (Scared laughing) What do I do, what do I do-
Foxy attacks!
AH-HAH, FUCKING FUCK! I TRIED TO PUSH IT! OH-OH MY GOD! Ah... Oh...
Game Over
Mark: Oh, game over indeed! Oh, are those my eyeballs? Auh... (coughs) Oh hi... Okay. So that's Five Nights at Freddy's, I couldn't even survive two, GOD DAMMIT! HAH! OH, GOD! Oh, I tried to hit the door- I tried so bad... Oh... Okay. Okay, thank you all so much for watching, check out the other scary games that I played, if you want to play it by yourself, you can check it in the description bellow. If you REALLY want me to play it again and try to BEAT it, let me know in the comments below. Thanks again everybody and as always, I will see YOU in the next video. BYE-BYE!
#YIAYline
Why????
Go home everyone, this is the best comment.
You scripted the whole thing? Lol
Magnificent...
This is a beautiful transcription.
“I’d take you to the movies but they don’t let you bring your own snacks” #YIAYline
@Wally Wallyshush, dipstick
that's a good one.
"H-Hey baby- I um thi-th-think those kn-kn-ee-knees are uh l-lookin' pretty um uh w-w-wobbly today." And then run away in embarrassment and puke next to the nearest convenience store. #YIAYline
Works for me every time
Yas
Why did I laugh
no but if Erin does get pregnant i would PAY to see her boyfriend's child sit through Jack telling them boomer dad jokes
"Any woman that requires a stepladder just to look at, too tall for me"
So anyone more than 5'3" then
#YIAYline
“Hey girl, I must be jesus, cuz you look like a sin worth dying for.”
For context I fed this line to a friend of mine who was hitting on a girl at a club, ON EASTER, while he was dressed as Jesus.
It worked.
Fucking brilliant
Impossible
No
I don’t believe it
@@fqlsify he is Jesus, believe him.
"It's funny cuz the cat looks mad and I also spent a half a million dollars on it" lost it
I've gotta say, people not knowing what a torque wrench is has got me fuming to the point I should probably make some calls to make sure I'm not a dad.
bad dad?
You okay, bud?
@@AlisonChrista obviouly he's not. Damn it, give this man a torque wrench!
I got so mad I just commented a definition that probably no one will see.
@@Gehajjs62727 We’ve seen them all. The many, many definitions. Don’t worry. Anyone who didn’t before definitely knows now.
“Before I become a dad” sir, you’re already a dad to Klondike, Chipwich, and Sundae
I love that Jack assumes that holding a flashlight for your dad is a meme when it’s actually very common. And the fact that we’re saying this in the comments will not confirm that it’s not a meme because we could just be feeding into it.
How to hold a flashlight is NOT a joke! It's a real experience of millions of kids. Quit trivializing our trauma, Jack!
I challenge Dr. Jacksfilms to a jousting match in the nearest Waffle House parking lot. If he loses, he must hold my dad's flashlight for a year.
Hundreds of comments explaining it and he still doesn’t understand our pain.
So a torque wrench is a wrench that allows you to tighten nuts and bolts to the proper torque so that they won’t fall out. It’s usually used on cars and car parts, since nuts and bolts are likely to loosen due to the vibrations of the road if the nuts and bolts aren’t tight enough. #YIAYline
I'm gonna be honest I was hoping someone else would comment this bc I got slightly upset when neither the mods nor Jack knew what a torque wrench is so thank you for doing the job of dad with torque wrenches everywhere
When I would help my Dad out with things as a kid, I was always fascinated with the torque wrenches. Such a handy tool
Hey look everyone! This is where our dads have been hiding!
REEEEAAALLY useful in a machine shop (and I’m sure many other non-automobile-centric shops), as well. Got some aluminum part with a total of .0005 inch tolerance on the bored dimension in the center of the part? Grab the torque wrench! (Also, how did no one know? It’s in the name, it’s a wrench that controls the amount of torque that goes into your tightening of stuff.)
Wow that's a terrible pickup line!
The saddle thing - idk if that name is more or less offensive than the “Daddle Saddle,” which is the name I’ve seen for them before
Daddle Saddle sounds better than Pony Up, Daddy, especially with the fucking picture they used
Plot twist: Jack wants to wear this dad merch so bad that he convinces his wife to start a family
every time Jack talks about how he has no kids I just imagine Klondike, Sundae, and Chip in the corner looking up at him like "father why have you forsaken us"
Guys don’t worry, the only thing Jack’s expecting is a divorce
I'm so happy I stumbled upon you again Jack. I stopped watching for a couple of years, not because I didn't like your content, just sort of drifted away from binging on youtube vids... It brings a great smile to my face seeing you still deliver really fun content. You rock!
7:16 "listening to daddy grunt and groan while you hold his FLESHLIGHT**"
fixed it for ya
4:57 This is one of the best answers, and reactions, in any YIAY ever.
All Dads like macaroni art because it cost them nothing
bad day?
The best pickup line: I must be lightning, because your McQueen.
This is one of my favorite YIAYs just because of Jack's reaction to the "stop following him into the bathroom" answer.
“Bad Dad”
*I sense an old joke in the force*
Replacing one letter makes an old jacksfilms joke
E
"Stacy's dad, is really kind of rad. He's all I want, and I want him so bad.
Stacy can't you see, you're just not the one for me.
I know it might be sad, but I'm in love with Stacy's dad "
-Stacy's Dad by Uncle Izzy
@Wally Wally shut it
I got one of those dad gamer shirts for my 60-year-old stepdad as a bit of a gag and he freaking loves it! He immediately changed into it and wore it around proudly. He is too precious for this world!
“Me and you could rule this city, Spider-Man. Or we could just fight to the death” #YIAYline
@Wally Wally zip it
Jack never had the "holding the flashlight incorrectly" experience because dads always hold it the right way. He has always had dad energy, he was destined to have three gremlin dogs as children
Either his dad is just really good, or he just doesn't see Jack as "competent". But hey that sounds mean and stupid.
Speaking off can I get the source of your profile pic?
@@ammagon4519 holy shit I should find it but I don't know it, I should change it to respect the artist (it's a fanart of a game called 999, if you don't know, if you do you have great taste in games)
@@KyrieFortune nah it's cool, I'm just gonna look for it later, and yeah I don't know the game and the title sounds weird lol.
8:36 a torque wrench is a tool commonly used on motorcycles and bicycles which has an adjustable torque limit, to prevent over tightening or damaging parts on the vehicle, that might cost hundreds or thousands of smackeroos.
“Hey, are you a super rare species on the brink of extinction?”
“Cause I can illegally sell your skin on the black market :D”
#YIAYline
“I heard you like bad boys, good for you cause I’m bad at everything” #yiayline
The best pickup line is ALWAYS: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cuz it looks like you landed on your face."
This blind format is so damn funny, I can see Jack coming to life doing it this way and it's so wonderful to see him having fun with RUclips again!
“Gurl, you’re like a malignant tumor. I always got you on my mind.”
- Chad
This was really fun to watch. Jack’s films is surprisingly entertaining
As a father, my only goal is embarrassing my kids as much as possible and refer to everything they like by the wrong name on purpose
:(
a torque wrench is a wrench that torques
Hey girl, did you know that in March of this year James Cameron's Avatar retook the #1 spot from Avengers Endgame due to a mainland Chinese rerelease?
Yes, I am a very informed citizen!
#YIAYline
Torque Wrench: A wrench that tightens bolts and nuts to certain Torques so they’re tight enough to not automatically back out and also not too tight where you break the bolt or nut.
Jack gets the thermostat joke but not the "hold the flashlight right" one.
"Does it gape? Does it throb? Do it wiggle? Does it flap? Does it jingle?"
Works for men and women #YIAYline
What would they have that *jingles* ??
@@SofosProject probably meant jiggle
@@lisyaorancrazed I don't make mistakes.
Dads will yell at you for shaking the flashlight and be surprised when you shake more
my father doesn’t ask for gifts on father’s day and instead gives me and my sister gifts, i have the best dad ever
Does he tell you guys to not give him gifts? Either way aww
Jack explaining that he doesn’t think Lady Dimitrescu is attractive was very liberating for me, as someone who feels the same.
Allow me to disrespectfully disagree.
I feel that. She’s okay????? Like. I guess?????? Gimme the scruffy feral guy with a giant axe-thing who wears Lennon sunglasses, THAT DUDE LAYS PIPE
I just can’t imagine being this wrong about something.
i'm just so glad i've finally found likeminded people jfc
Same. Her daughters tho... 😈
"Hey! Did you order an uber?"
To date I've used this line to perpetrate over a baker's dozen of successful kidnappings.
"Ey girl, what say we go back to my place? My parents are gone for the weekend, I've got three packages of nuggies ready to be microwaved, and the whole third season of MLP queued up and ready to go." #YIAYline
When you're already talking at the bar or sm, just whip this out. "I think you dropped something", and she / he / they / it will go "What?" And then you can say, "Your standards."
You can just say they
@@bearpuns5910 nonono, we can use it pronouns in a sentence too
3:37 one of our dogs, too
HE MUST BE THERE WITH US
Jack would want his son to not have a larger forehead as him for Father’s Day.
Haha forehead. That's so funny and clever. You truly are the greatest comedian.
For real how does this have any likes.
@@somethingclever4297 it’s a recurring gag
@@HorrificHGgames I know but this joke is so f*cking lazy. Who needs wit when you can go "hmmm forehead big."
In fact I've got your answer for the next question.
" #yiayline I don't have a big forehead."
@@somethingclever4297 that is a lot of memes, not much effort on them and they get lot of fame and so do gags
I'd take you to a movie theater but they don't let you bring your own snacks
#YIAYline
I get the feeling one of you wants kids and the other doesn’t
“Hey honey do you want a baby?”
“Here’s another dog instead”
“You too”
#yiayline "Are you lighting..? Because you're MA QUEEN- oh, mommy's honking. Catch you later. Kachow!"
Quick, you need to put the "n" in lightning or you won't get featured! That's the only reason I can think of for that not happening.
TF I USED TO SING “JESSES DAD IS LOOKING KINDA RAD” SOOO MUCH IN THEATRE SCHOOL WHAT
#Yiayline "I'd say we'd have chemistry, but I'm 35 and not allowed within 300 feet of any school"
Funniest one I’ve seen so far
My dad was in his late 20's when the first Wallace & Gromit came out, he fucking loves those little clay dudes
Dang, that username at 4:49... that's... quite the username.
Based.
But kinds sus too
5:58 Why did it sound like Keanu Reeves 😂
I'm jealous of John if he didn't know what it was like to be yelled at by his Dad for doing nothing wrong on an hourly basis as a youngling.
The flashlight thing isn't a meme, of something 90% of kids have experienced. (You're in the minority, Jack).
Here's a gem that wqs actually used on me once. "Hey, wanna come back to my place? There's a sale, my clothes are 100% off."
Did it work?
@@colonelgarbage4690 Probably not, since that’s a terrible way to run a business.
Jack if you want to wear the father gamer shirt then you must be a father. it's a crime to not adhere to this with a penalty of a $1000 fine or 100 hours of community service
A torque wrench is a wrench for tightening the lug nuts on the tires. Those nuts need to be tightened enough but not too much so the torque wrench measures how tight it is.
I like the fact that he's trying to figure out where he's going to put that sticker like he's being forced to buy it
"Erin is the Funny One"
Yep.
3:00 "Jack Patrick Douglass from 'Jacksfilms' announces they're having a baby, makes controversial YIAY of what the baby's name should be"
Yes pls.
#yiayline “our dad can join” always gets my sister in the mood
2:12 does this mean you’re not using your steppy stool for Erin anymore?
“Are you a Minecraft fence?”
“because I can’t get over you”
#YIAYline
-never held a flash light
-doesn’t know what a torque wrench is
It’s all coming together
“Did you fall from heaven because you look like you need immediate care” #yiayline
“Hey Bebe are you Jesus because I’d get on my hands and knees for you” is what my friend said, then followed it up by “it doesn’t work and I’ve never used it, I just think it’s funny” #YIAYline
you edited the comment and still misspelled for
@@weloo_2736 pffft- I didn’t notice, damn dyslexia-
Do you like water? Well, then you're going to like 60% of me.
#YIAYline
"Did you grow your hair out just for me?"
alternatively
"I'm allergic to fur, but with you I can do what I love without any side effects."