What are the steps to healing after adultery? | Dear Future Wifey Podcast on Tour
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- The Dear Future Wifey Podcast kicks off its tour close to home at Word of Truth Family Church, Arlington, TX, where Senior Pastor Eben Connor keeps it LIT. Ironically, both of the couples on our married panel experienced infidelity. They withheld nothing sharing of how God's redemptive power soldered their hearts. We are addressing relationship treason in this episode titled, “Why Do We Cheat.”
PANELISTS: Dionte and Ericah Miller | Rodney and Karlyn Manuel (@Km_forreal)
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I'm getting REALLY tired of infidelity (on the man's part) being part of the fabric of every long term marriage story...smh
Right. It’s almost normalized. It’s sad. And then it gets dressed up and religious-ified and we talk about the strength of the women and how God worked on her heart and the man’s “brokenness” etc etc.
I do appreciate the honesty of the couples, it’s a very personal encounter that they didn’t have to share.
It would be great to hear from couples that have been together a long time with no infidelity in the marriage in the narrative.
@@meshiawarren2387 Yes please!
Same here. It’s almost as if it’s a given that cheating will be apart of a long term marriage. 😞 We must change this narrative by being healed BEFORE marriage.
@@iriemo721 whew yes!!!
It’s sad that people will betray their spouse, but NEVER their friend.
Lies!!! Jesus is our friend yet we betray Him daily. Social media is filled with posts about fake friends.
Great Point!!!
That’s good ❤ I agree
ikr lol they more faithful to the streets and their homeboys !!!
We have less responsibility and expectations with our friends compared to our spouses. So there’s pain with betrayal of a friend but it cuts deep when it’s someone you are intimate with; like a spouse.
When she mentioned that she asked God why didn't he say anything about the cheating. I felt the same way. But when I started praying and asking God to show me what was going on, God showed me in dreams. The Word of God says ask and we shall receive.
We need our men to become intentional & committed to being husbands BEFORE they marry. Men are the “householders.” If they’re out of order, our families will be out of order. Heal brothas. Heal.
Yesss... my CURRENT issue... he's now showing signs of immaturity and insecurity; which I'm having to cover him and make up for his lack of abilities PERPETUATING his lacking of security or ability to FEEL confident BUT he won't take THE NECESSARY initiative because HE didn't fully prepare for husbandry
@@carlissapine1953 have you tried marriage counseling, both Spiritual & professional counseling? So many of our men lack the skills to be effective husbands because of the lack of positive role models in our families. I believe counseling is a great tool to help.
@@kayfleming5180 well... he's ward off all counseling with his immature outbursts of yelling & blame shifting ppl at our church have given up on him; professionally... That requires insurance he's not, & he's too damn arrogant TO SPEAK HIS TRUTH right now. 37 years old. Soon to be 38 & just an asshole. I regret taking a FAITHLEAP saying yes to a Heartbreaker.... I have given the benefit of the doubt... but idk... we just need to END; where is the $$ For a divorce when it's needed... lol
So disheartening to hear your story. Many of us have been exactly where you are and now we have peace. I filed for divorce myself, for $185. This was in 2007, so cost was probably a lot lower for a Paralegal. I found a local Paralegal, paid her fee, and she filed the paperwork. My divorce was uncontested, which made the process easier. I kept custody of our daughter, with my ex in agreement and we decided on an amount for child support together. Thankfully I married a man that understood our daughter was priority. Maybe this route could work for you.
But you have to choose the men that want that stuff and stop trying to change them
I’m glad God restored these marriages. However, as someone who dealt with infidelity in a past marriage with my daughter’s father, I don’t EVER want to experience that again. Men, please heal. Women, please heal. Do this BEFORE you marry.
I wish it were that easy
This has me MIND BLOWN!!! I am shook by the creativity of God in how He’s expanding this platform for both the church & the world ! Just BLOWN 😮😮😮😱😱
Now you see how I feel. I've been randomly crying at the goodness of God all week
Yessss. . Me too...
Yes Selah God is Amazing I'm with you. I pray God uses me the same way!!To God Be The Glory!!!
Yes !!!! His divine providence !!
@@DearFutureWifey thank you laterras for keeping it LIT and starting this movement.
Why most people cheat it's not because the other person is coming in short or has flaws it's because the cheater is broken ❤
I never understood why get married just to cheat... when can someone heal when thr hurt is living in their home .. smh just wow so many toxic relationships in this world .sad.
Forgiveness, breath, love yourself, don't blame yourself, take time to get to know yourself, get a therapist, reset, knowing what you don't want gets you closer to knowing what you want...be open to receive love.
That's what I'm doing ... praying for A NEW LOVE into MY LIFE... NEW everything
Another way to see it is… someone out there needs to see or hear these types of testimonies. Our marriages are to glorify God. A lot of things we go through as couples ( even infidelity), aren’t about US. It’s about OTHERS seeing GOD work through and in us to draw them closer to Him. God will use whatever and whoever to gain relationship with us.
Exactly
After repeated infidelity, several apologies but eventual divorce, how does a woman safely trust and rebound , grow and become grounded?
At some point the focus needs to stop being on how much a woman can heal and the focus bleeds to be heavy on men to actually have character. There’s little true emphasis Widely on men putting in the work to not destroy people they’re in relationship with.
She need to trust herself first
@@shanbraz6011This!!!!!! We wouldn't have to KEEP healing if our men didn't KEEP wounding us.
I love these two couples, 🔥🔥🔥❤💯 their testimonies and how they built their relationship after infidelity, the past of how they grew up, why they are the way they are, and of course it wasn't easy to forgive but, truthfully, their love, communication and God's love made them stronger. 🎯💯
Honestly, I needed this for my Sunday... It was a total blessing.❤🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Thank you Laterras.
Another great episode!! For ppl who are “tired” of these conversations re: infidelity….SMH. This topic isn’t being glorified it’s being exposed!!! How can healing begin if it’s not confronted without shame? I’m thankful that these type of platforms exists so ppl can have healthy & functioning relationships. KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK LATTERAS. Blessings 🙌🏾🙏🏾💜
Well said👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Can we have long Term relationships that don't have infedility ,I believe they exist. It will also encourage some of us .It seems like this is a problem that visits a lot of homes ,Why, can we for change stop blaming the devil n take responsibility
Forgiveness took place in me watching this. The testimony of these kings about God's intervention brought some understanding and, healing to my heart. Thank You, LORD.❤
When you know who you are , you know who you are not ..
Love this!
@@msnikmicto
Omg this was good❤ the authenticity of the panel was amazing…. I can relate on so many levels…. But the most important thing I received is when Karlin (please forgive me if I said her name wrong) she said she didn’t get even because of God that alone gave me chills because that is definitely me
Yes that was the most profound part of this message, don't get even, seek God. If God is in your life he will show you You and work on you and heal you before you can repair the marriage.
I am RIGHT THERE... I DIDN’T AND DON'T WANT TO CHEAT BACK FULL THROTTLE ALL BECAUSE OF GOD... PERIODT. I don't want to lose the Holy Spirit upon my life... for a character flaw in my spouse... GOD ALONE IS WHY I AM STILL HERE... plus I don't have the $$ to pay no lawyer to even go thru the process plus... the line for a court date is at least more than a year out... I think ...
Plus every time...God keeps pricking my heart...
Adultery come from not being truthful In the Beginning Of any relationship Not being truthful of your triggers That can damage any relationship Deal with your triggers Write down what they are So you can deal with them before you get into any relationship Go see a counselor Pride before the destruction If you don't deal with your pride it will bring destruction and tear what you got down And it's hard to build-up again B and be honest in the trenches and the beginnings Let God be in the middle of it
So true
@@monettevalliere 💯
Not really. You never came into the relationship wanting to cheat. You wouldnt know in the vtery beginning
He was attracted to the challenge. He recognized in her what he was lacking. She knew who she was.
Salute to Pastor 👑 Eben Conner! From sponsoring a 2-yr healing journey, to being excited about a podcast coming into the church, to creating such a safe space for people to visibly be LIT. I salute you Sir!
In Jamaica, they would say of Pastor Eben, "Man a Man!". Wherever that church is, it's GOD BLESSED.
His name is Pastor Eben Conner.
Thank you 👑
I'm acting out, You see me acting out, now show me the attention I need... POWERFUL STATEMENT
Pastor Eben kinda reminds me of the rapper Master P a little bit! "Make em say unhhhhh my God, God, God!! (Pastor Eben's version) 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This episode was NECESSARY!! I truly appreciate the transparency. Thank you for sharing!
His first question threw me off. Neither of them said something wasn't being fulfilled in their marriage. I'm glad the husband (the adulterer) quickly cleared that up.
“If you cheat, you have low self esteem.” Say it louder 🗣
WOW!!! I’ve been married for 26 years and infidelity hit my marriage for the first 9 years! (That I know of) It’s like death😪💔. Getting over it is truly Jesus AND therapy! Kudos to the panel💜. Thank you Leterras for all you’re doing for the Kingdom!! Much love and respect for you❤
I swear, I am learning SO much by watching this podcast. I'm not sure if I'm looking for a relationship or not, but I am so much more informed as to how relationships should work, and what they should look like. These conversations are much needed in our community. We gone grow and heal together, family!
Thank you for this podcast. I'm learning, I'm healing, I'm getting confirmation and I'm being encouraged. My fiancé and I are approaching marriage in our 40's, and our perspective on marriage is different from when we were younger. Thank you to Laterras and the both couples, especially the Kings for your transparency because some of us can learn how to recover and some of us learn avoid and maintain. I mean no two people are the same but you all highlighted some key points that set a foundation for recovery and or avoid the same mistakes.
Unfortunately some men believe that it's not cheating when he goes out to another woman (or man)and comes back home. Coming back home to them means he still loves his wife
I bet if the wife steps out on him the same way....his thoughts would change
The word "King" in referencing men is being used a lot. Some men want that "King" Title and they are peasants, and do not want to learn and grow. All Kingdoms Have Standards.
Clowns wearing crowns
Need clowns wearing crowns on a T shirt. Lol.. this is not burger King.. you can't always have it your way..
Letteras, you never disappoint! I love these discussions. I hope you know what a blessing this is to so many couples. Your guests are brave and will be blessed for being so transparent with their lives/marriages. Much love to all of you!💞
Thank you so much!
Laterras, let me just say, I am amazed at the fruits of your labor. Talk about manifesting dreams! You are an inspiration as well as the guests on your platform...just nuggets of wisdom throughout. I am an artist, graphic designer, video editor, etc...all the things they said we needed to CLAIM when I was in school. The fact is, I've done very little with my visual gifts. Relationships...well that's why I tuned in the first place! LOVE YOUR CONTENT! I am not shacking up! You had a subscriber here a few episodes back. Just love where your vision has taken you.
Welcome to the journey @donnashinall
This episode is going to help so many people. Thanks to the couples for sharing!
This was an amazing podcast today!! Hallelujah praise the good Lord for this word!! I appreciate you Laterras first and your family guest for the transperancy and courage to speak and love 💕 I look forward to being a guest on your platform one day to speak and heal others as well
I needed this I’m 24 and struggling with some of these things and it’s good to hear these things from older unions
This is such a meaningful watch/listen for me. I may never have my questions answered, but my healing is continuing because of God’s gracious re-focus on who created me and for what purpose. Wow…oh to be in this room if y’all (podcast) ever come to Houston…heck I may just make a trip of it and head to Dallas next time. My goodness! Okay, back to watching…🙌🏾❤️🙌🏾
I plan on coming to Houston when a church extends the offer.
@@DearFutureWifey oooooo I’ll see who I know!! This needs to be in HOUSTON! 💯❤️
Yes please come to H-Town....it'll be a turn out for sure!!!!!!
There were so many gems and nuggets in this episode. God is gentle. He gives us so many opportunities to come clean about a thing.
Wow.. I’m so encouraged to see REAL relationships.. with open authentic dialogue !!!
#bravofuturewifey
I am believing now that allowing a person to heal may not be for you to be in a relationship or marriage with that person~but for another person because of that person’s purpose and destiny 💜🔥🙏🏿💜.
I loved this! These two couples are awesome and I’m so glad their marriages were restored. They seem genuinely happy. I love Rodney’s wife! She is so funny lol but she is so real too! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
24 years of marriage... The wife looks like 24. 💃💥💖
Maybe I’m jaded cuz..I was sitting watching like: meh…sounds good. A bunch of catch phrases and wooooo moments. As usual the woman staying is viewed as the work of God in the womans life, or God showing his grace to the man. What a spin.
Maybe these talking points and cute phrases will help other people in the same situation.
Erica’s hair cut was cute. So I did find something worth watching 😂
Are you married?
@@DearFutureWifey no I’m not. Why do you ask?
I felt that way too. These stories help me learn the flags. Cuz I’m tired
Thank You so much. Beautiful catch phrases. Women cover is they are so Godly. Believe it or not that’s why they cheated. If a man thinks for a moment they stood idle whether emotional or physical we are poorly mistaken. I was excited when the narrator mention something about this is not about God. Sounds good but reality is you learn allot more from a divorce than you do staying for habit. Glad they were able to weather the storm.
@@iriemo721 some relationships are worth fighting for. Not all, but some.
Laterras, once again, these two couples shared their testimonies. Healing, honesty, and forgiveness are necessary.
It's the" having something to submit To" for ME!!! But God!!! This was another one that shook the rafters Laterras!! Great transparency in those God gave you are guest. Bless you Al💕💕❤️l👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I pray you find the woman God ordained just for you. 🙏🏽
🏡 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
If men are the leaders of our households…is it then ok for women to follow the leader and cheat as well?
Hilarious!!!
Yes it is!
Never lower your standards or become immoral to settle a score. It's best to leave the circumstance. Always go high. You will be favored
I've been saying that very same thing for a while now. Men want to be the leader but don't want us to follow them down the path of bad behavior🙃
It would be good to include an answer and question segment that your podcast guest could answer. The questions could be from your audience. Questions could be collected at the hallway mark of the podcast so your staff can choose who could ask their questions. I'm so interested in hearing thoughts from your audience.
Always appreciate the transparency!
Man you did it again for me lol....Idk who is better, you or Hasani Pettiford and his wife. Yall are always on point. This episode was god tier and both of these couples were so helpful and its good to see ppl thriving after heartbreak. Cheating/adultery is just not talked about enough and it happens constantly.
Exactly 💯... it's NOT spoke about ENOUGH
This is so needed for men to hear! Thank you.
I appreciate the couples being transparent and being able to keep love ❤️ alive for better or worse no matter how others may think and salute to the moderator for keeping this free counseling by the word of others testimonies ❤❤❤❤
Thank you king
I wish me and mind wife would have done the counseling, things would be so much better.
my husband refused counselling...i filed last month; he didnt want the divorce but he didnt wanna work on the marriage
@@peacefaith560 I pray that God gave you patience not to move forward with divorce 🙏 💯 Separation with the hope and work of reconciliation is precious to the Lord.
Inspiring couples this gave a perspective that sometimes infidelity can make a marriage stronger because to get better, heal, and grow accountability has to first take place. Seeing this episode makes me realize that infidelity is nothing to fear in a marriage if it takes place, but should be taken as a symptom to heal from if we properly examine our partner’s past trauma, and they are willing to do the work to restore the marriage. Job well done…I also want to add how much Erica reminds me so much of Sarah Jakes Roberts all down to the sound of her voice. It’s honestly a little scary be blessed 😇
Women thrive in clarity , tell her the vision make it plain to her and she will help you get to the vision , in encouragement in prayer in emotional support ❤
Simply Beautiful and Evident that God truly Restores and How they Endured as their Vow's were being tested. I have discovered that We are not Aware of God's Love until we are faced to do so Unto Each Other as He does Unto Us Daily to Love Unconditionally. Truly they have Mastered The Vow"For Better or Worse" Of Season. What an Honor May their Marriages Be Blessed with Joy and Love and Protection they Deserve within their Covenant.
What a surprise it’s the husband 😮
🤣🤣
You're right, not surprised at all
🤣🤣🤣
Yea, I'm getting REALLY tired of infidelity (on the man's part) being part of the fabric of every long term marriage story...smh
You heard the wife testify of how she cheated in a previous marriage
I really enjoyed this session. Very transparent and uplifting. 😊
So glad!
I love this. I pray he could bring this to our church one day. I watch the podcast all the time, only being married for 3 years this helps me through it.
Where is your church?
@@DearFutureWifey The Movement Fellowship Church in Birmingham, AL with Pastor Kris Erskine
Lol. My husband and I always kiss before we leave the presence of one another and when we return. To God be the glory.
This just jumped into my Spirit 🤔
I pray that my Future Husband is watching Dear Future Wifey. 🙌🏾
Facts
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭THIS WAS SO GOOD AND NEEDED. I REALLY ENJOYED AND LEARNING FROM THESE COUPLES. I'M JUS SHAPING PRAYING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY TUNE IN AMD WATCH. GREAT PODCAST L.🥰🥰
Awesome couples. I love how they Grew up and not stay stuck in there Mess.
“If you’re cheating, you have low self esteem.”
This Was so amazing Laterras!🔥🔥🔥 God has truly blessed you...Sooooo beautiful Thank u sir...What a wonderful Panel absolutely beautiful💕💗❤beautifully done!
Many times we say it is God causing us to stay and it is not God.
😂😂😂😂"Let's unpack that" that's so accurate
Lol
Laterras my brother you are using everything God is trusting you with. I mean! From where I sit, you a truly a man after God's own heart in many ways. Can't nobody accuse you of not using your talents. May your love for God multiple daily. May Abba Father continue to bless you with much. May more souls come to Christ looking to be L.I.T for God. In the matchless name of Jesus Christ.💚
Amen! Thanks.
This episode is very revealing. Thank you all for being so vulnerable! ❤️ You've blessed my heart
There are many people, including on this show, who blame the devil instead of themselves for their poor judgment and behavior. Is it that hard to take accountability?
My God his was one of the best podcast. Thank you to God be the glory.
Honestly why must successful marriage include infedility? This is wrong maan.
Didn’t you know that, the ultimate demonstration of gods grace to us is when a spouse stays with us after infidelity. The ultimate demonstration of reaching a high spiritual plain is when you’re so in tuned with God that you listen when he tells you to love your husband through infidelity (because very rarely do you see men saying God told them to stay). That’s when we know he’s really worked on us, transformed our hearts . That’s the sign of a good Christian woman.
@@iriemo721 No. That is utterly blasphemous. The ideal for a Godly wife is defined in Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5, and I Peter 2 -- and in NO CASE does that ideal exist in the presence of a covenant breaking husband who is an adulterer. NEVER. A Christian woman does not prove her goodness by taking back a cheating spouse; her goodness comes from Christ, Who permits her a CHOICE. She can give the man the OPTION of renewing the covenant or not, because as far as God is concerned, that cheating man is either as good as dead (Old Testament, literally) or worse than an infidel joining the body that belongs to Christ to a harlot (New Testament). This is not even counting the cheating husband being so carried away by his evil that he could bring home an STD that could kill both him and his wife -- his INNOCENT wife.
The ultimate demonstration of God's grace to us is known: Christ gave HIS life. The second greatest is ordered for MEN to perform in Ephesians 5:25, to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. No wife is ordered to submit to a man denying his responsibility through cheating; he is not "as unto the Lord" in that state!
@@hymnodyhands Amen Amen
my husbands addiction to marijuana almost cost him his life. Marijuana opened the door to lust, and gave birth to and affair. He didnt get to enjoy the affair, because the same day I found out and almost killed him. Were currently in the process of healing and restoration, but its definitely not easy.
Okay this background looks amazing! Bravo Laterras 💐🥳
I have 2 words: Aw-mazing!! 👏🏽 👏🏽
This was so amazing thank you guys for sharing .. much love and many ,more years together
Many times, in our relationships, there is no true repentance nor Reverence for God Almighty.
Very good! Loved seeing the men take responsibility ❤
My question for Rodney would have been is it that your wife treated you disrespectfully and ignored you or did you just feel that way and leaned into those emotions rather than getting actual facts from your wife?
Because As the beautiful and brilliant Tabitha Brown says sometimes we fight over what we don't hear & think we hear someone say rather than what's actually said!
It's crazy how that works and it takes support, education and development and a great therapist to help you on your road to wholeness That's a big job that you cannot do on your own!
She is soo right, cheater mentality is low self-esteem
Why do we find all of these revelations during a marriage???!!! Many would rather mess up other folks lives during their transitions to find happiness or come to reality.
Some of us are so thirsty that we do not want to ask questions or we ignore the truth that is in plain sight.
Hey my friend. I love what you are doing. God bless you. Soon the name of this podcast shall change to create room for your beautiful God fearing Woman of God!!! Many blessings!!!!
LT be unpacking staff 😂😂🎉
APPLAUDING and CELEBRATING CHRISTIAN BLACK LOVE it’s just summon’ ‘bout it! Trust God… as always Hugs LaTerras
Not just potential but existing characteristics he can build on ❤
YEP THAT IS THE FAMILY I COME FROM LOUD PASSION AND RAW
I knew even on my wedding day that it wasn’t right. I thought I could fix things and pray away my feelings
Amen thank you God for Pastor Conner
When you hold it in it won't fade it will just grow into bigger problems ❤
Man this truly was a Blessing ❤
That was me walking down the aisle saying oh my god what am I doing. After the church ceremony I ran to the ladies bathroom and cried so hard. Looked up he was standing over me saying what’s wrong.And my father whispering in my ear why are you marrying him you don’t have to marry him why are you marrying him. Mind you we were both virgins.
I love this segment ❤Thank You Latteras ❤
To God be the glory
❤❤❤ LOVED IT ❤
Y’all cheated because you chose to. Nobody’s perfect and everyone brings some kind of baggage to a relationship. Cheating is a choice. Just keep it buck.
Thank You So Muchhhhhh.
exactly..and for me thats a deal breaker !!! too many stds out here i dont play with my life !!
This is awesome! I needed this!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This was so so good! ❤
Godfidence, hit me like a ton of bricks.
Congratulation on the 24 years and many more
Thank you Mr. Laterras!!!
Bruh this was much needed bc you know my story!
Facts!