Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: THE CARPENTER
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- Опубликовано: 8 окт 2024
- It's part 2 of the Canuxsploitation-A-Thon with "The Carpenter" (1988), a classic tale of girl meets killer ghost handyman!
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"Damn it Canada! Even our slasher movies are too polite."
Favorite line of this review.
"sorry you raped me eh"
they are really just passive aggressive.
What if this movie was made by john carpenter would it be call john carpenter's the carpenter
With music by The Carpenters and with script assistance from Richard Carpenter.
OlagGan couldn't get more carpenter than that!
Total mind job !
@@OlagGan starring karen carpenter
Starring Charisma Carpenter
Dude, you should have given the flaming stunt man some credit. Going up the stairs you see his face yelling Allison.
Power tool toting ghost kills his victims.
That seemed like a very long and intense burn when he was face-down in the driveway, too. Very impressive!
The burning man walking up stairs belongs in some hall of fame for stunts.
She states in the interview that she sees things that she knows can't actually be happening so she dismisses them. That explains her reaction to all the deaths. While she sees them going on, she thinks she is hallucinating and that the guy is actually doing something else. So she writes it off.
@Will Rob
The Script Writer: AIGHT, IMMA HEAD OUT
@Will rob she’s crazy, that’s why
It is an old house, the blood she cleans up could be something else. Coupled with the reactions of the people being killed, really a lack thereof, she probably has every right to think that it's all in her delusion. Later on when she is participating though, that is either her giving in to the hallucination, killing off the girlfriend, as she knew about her. Who even necessarily were the other guys? They didn't maybe exist at all but here is one person, delusion or not that she could say 'I hate' to and, real or not, imagination of what the real girl looks like vs this here now portrayed by my mind, is someone I could see hating, wouldn't mind bumping off. Not real anyway, so, hey? No harm, no foul.
@@seanromine3932 exactly.
Sure this chick's name isn't Karla Homolka? oh wait her sister is still alive...
PRICELESS..is 14.00 to 14.25. Brandon riffing on the Canadian accent. "MY CEAUCH...MY HEAUSE...then you can just Get OEAUT!"
(I was listing a Sly and the Family Stone album up on Ebay...and literally had to STOP TYPING, as I was laughing so hard...I started typing "Sly and The Family StEAUNe"
Rock on Brandon!
Damn baby damn! My reviews are awesome. But YOURS are the best!
Thank you for bringing that daily laugh!
Seems like it would have been interesting to do a whole "did she/didn't she?" thing with the self-admittedly unstable wife and the killings. Is The Carpenter a delusion? Some kind of protective off-shoot personality? An actual supernatural entity? But they throw it all away for "yeah, I guess he's a ghost, kinda? Whatever, don't ask".
I got that feeling too, like they were originally going for a 'is she or isn't she?' plotline but then just said screw it make him a ghost. Disappointing since the whole thing with Alice possibly being the killer could have been a really nice take on the slasher movie
Yea that woulda definitely been better. It just being her actually doing it and talking to her alter like fight club kinda.
YES! we finally got an "Aboot" and a "Hoose" from Brandon
what about "take off eh"
Soorery
Canadian greeting: what's up
Jamaican greeting:WASSUP!
You mean Brandoon
@@snatchadams69broonboon
"Well that just feathers my mullet" I CAN'T BREATH!
Discount Sigourney Weaver .
Arkady Rex vs Discount Lindsey Buckingham
Or a better looking not anorexic Shelly Duvall
Just as hot tho ngl
This is like a horror version of "The Yellow Wallpaper."
I think her flat affect is because she doesn't believe what she's seeing, and she's probably loaded up on psych meds from her stay in the hospital.
Your over the top Canadian accent is one of my favorite bits of yours.
I was kind of expecting some Red Green references about this Canadian movie about a handyman (who even wears flannel) being reviewed by a Canadian.
I should admit I like the murderous carpenter ghost's work ethics! He's a hard worker and doesn't leave jobs half-done😂
the ghost carpenter is also the cheating husband in tommyknockers
@@Chuck_ELnope, that was Cliff De Young
I dunno, seems like he might be a scab, which is the exact opposite of good work ethic. Standing in solidarity with your fellow workers is better work ethic than being a scab just for the sake of "finishing the job".
Brandon...you need to do one of these reviews completely in a Canadian accent :) That bit about the "clean house" at the 14:09 mark was just priceless :D
I knowwww, I've watched this multiple times mostly for the: "you come into my hewse, sit on my cewch, well you can just get oewt!"
I'd argue that the subdued, mundane handling of the gore makes it quite a bit more disturbing. If done right.
I concur. I'm working on a slasher film right now. One thing I'm experimenting with is having long-take death scenes with no accompanying music.
Sting SniperScope I wish you the best of luck.
Tekrothebountyhunter Thanks
+ Sting SniperScopehunter by chance where do we get to see it?
Sting SniperScope Is your project reminiscent of movies like August or Salo, for instance?
Brandon is the only Canadian who doesn't say "soory" too much.
Between his loud voice and constant swearing I'm convinced hes at least part american
Okay I laughed even before I heard the comments about the man losing his arms. He loses an arm to a buzz-saw with barely any time and blood, and just looks at it like you spilled ink on his shirt.
one of the funniest 20 min ive witnessed all year! thanks Brandon as always you made my week! cant wait til part three!
This is a really...really odd movie. But I found that just made it more enjoyable. It was certainly more memorable than a lot of movies like it.
I love Alice' character. I'm not sure she's meant to be sympathetic. They establish her grip on reality is slippery at best at the start and her disconnected nonchalance about all the strangeness is just hilariously entertaining.
That clamp on the head was Three Stooges Gold.😂
Brando's outrage about Alice's blase attitude made me laugh at least twice
The way the kill scenes are presented are kind of brilliant, when you think about it. OF COURSE they're presented as mundane. The man doing the killing is The Carpenter, just doing his job. He wouldn't think twice about sawing a man's arms off anymore than you would think twice about hammering a nail.
DinoJake yeah that makes sense, but the confusing part is how disinterested the guy getting his arms sawn off seems
@@mistersydster as well as how little blood there is, that blade at the least would have sprayed blood all over the nearby walls.
I'm not sure whom you're hiring, but "murder" isn't typically in a carpenter's job description. They actually spend quite a lot of time and effort learning how not to hurt people while doing their job.
I think you're giving a little too much credit to a script that can't even be bothered to come up with a half-way sensible explanation.
Well in her defense she did admit that she sees things that aren’t really there self her lack of response when he kills people may just be her mind slipping into a fantasy world and that the carpenter guy is just a figment of her imagination that plays out what she wants to sometimes do. I mean how many times has someone pissed you off and not think about killing them....(Even though you probably wouldn’t)
I think the only reason why she snaps out of it is when she realizes that she would never hurt her sister...so the guy can’t be hallucination.
I can do without the 5 cent wings, but I never pass up a Dokken concert.
The killings look so low key to me that this may as well be called "Toolbox Murders: the Diet Version".
It's kind of like if there were a "This Old House"-style show for themed serial killers. "Whatcha wanna do here, Bob, is to really drive the chisel in hard to crack the bone".
Power Tool Porn = New Yankee Workshop
The whole series is Norm Abram owning like $300,000 in power tools so he can build $40 wooden stools
I'm Canadian, and those accents mess with my brain too.
Great channel! Not sure if it is intentional but, you and cinema snob are soo similar and both very funny and do great reviews!! I just found you and subbed!!
I think they both came from Channel Awesome. Most people from that channel have the same style.
Would have been a nice twist at the end if the camera pans back and Alice is holding a power-saw and it's actually her doing the killing! 🤔
So what I read about the movie, Ed is the spirit of the houses builder named Edward who was executed for killing several repo men when his obsession with perfecting his home caused him to incur massive debt. So thats why Alice hits the house. Not reacting to the murders could be the mental breakdown causing her to just go kinda nuts or something.
The whole “come into my hoose, sit on my coouch” bit was too much for me 🤣
for a long time i always thought this was home improvement the movie
Hey Brandon how's it going?! I've watched your videos before and I enjoy them! I haven't subbed to you or any of the other youtubers I really liked because I didn't have a RUclips account yet. But now that I have one I can sub to all my favorite youtubers, including you! Keep up the good work bro!
Haldol, when you just don't give a dam who gets the remodeling done.
When Canada tries to pull of a small Amercian town but forgets Canada has their way of talking.
“Jar Jar Binks” does sort of sound like plantation slaves I suppose..
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
14:13...Funniest sh*t I’ve seen all week 😄😆😁😅🤣😂😭
Could you do "Rabid"? It's Canadian, I think it's a cult film and it's by Cronenberg.
0:25 when the guy gets his hands impaled all I could think of was the end of We Are What We Are... far less cannibalism in that clip.
1:24 "uhh is there such a thing as power tool porn?" Yes...Two words.... Home Improvement.
80s horror movies had an extreme amount of gore in them.
She establishes pretty early on that she suffers what the hospital convinced her were hallucinations that can't be true. She doesn't believe it's really happening.
This review had me rolling (OK, not literally. That would be weird, and awkward, and even a little painful). The "rants" on the Canadian accent in the movie, the politeness, and her apathy were priceless. Having lived in Buffalo, NY most of my life and having Canadian cousins made it even funnier.
Great job.
BZZT BZZT
"You bastard, cutting my arms off! I'll kick you some!!"
BZZT BZZT
"Well now look what ya did. Now I don't have any legs either."
I have this on dvd, such a fun weird flick. Wings rocks this totally!
Why isn't this movie about Jon Carpenter as a serial killer?
"This is for not liking Halloween III!"
powertool porn? Well, have you seen the music video 'benny benassi - satisfaction'?
1:58. Long shots where nothing happens kinda remind me of John Carpenter's Dark Star?
Cube was Canadian wasn't it?
Wrong type of Scab, it's the american term for a guy hired to do a job when the normal workers go on strike, since the normal carpenters didn't go on strike I can understand the confusion. Guess for this movie it got expanded to include people who are hired to do your job at hours and pay you won't (midnight and nothing).
....... you... you do realize that he used the wrong type of scab on purpose, right? It's a joke. This is a comedy show... You did know that... didn't you?
Wings Hauser looks like the result of Gary Busey and Tom Sizemore doing the Dragon Ball Fusion Dance.
Your reviews and channel make me proud to be Canadian :)
I replayed the Canadian dialog atleast 10x 🤣 I live in cleveland so I feel like a true neighbor of Canada so the Canadian accent just cracks me up
They just got a "disolve" bundle and did'nt want to waste .
1:30 Yes, power tool porn absolutely exists, if you mean the way people say "food porn," anyway. There are _hundreds_ of RUclips channels of close-ups of things being milled, cut, lathed, and crushed by hydraulic press.
I know this because as soon as I started watching the channel called AvE, YT started recommending _all of them._
Should have known he was evil when he didn't bail on the job halfway through. Ghost contractors don't ghost. There should be a sequel called The Plumber where a phantom kills people and then flushes them down the toilet. Also he's dressed like Mario. Plot twist ITS LUIGI!
LOL, if I recall, there actually is an Australian horror flick called The Plumber.
wings likes to scream "red bull gives you MEEEEEEE!"
Wings Hauser can be the good guy, the bad guy or anything else and theres something about him that is terrifying
So Firebird is next? Hope so!
Miss me some Doug McClure
Make a review to the Korean movie The Host
Molsen and health care references?! There we go! Idk if you read my comment on the last video, but you already made my yankee-doodle dream come true. hahaha
that begining kind of remind me of a movie i saw when i was too young to know better where the intro is a guy building a giant mouth trap that is use to cut off his head. to this day i have no clue what movie that was
Dude, you are hysterical.
In the video editing segment of my training, one instructor used to say, "More wipes than a waterbed commercial."
Apparently, this movie contains more dissolves than...
I was surprised you hadn't heard of Wings Hauser before this movie, but then again, I am older than you and he is just obscure enough so that when you finally discover him you wonder why you hadn't known of him before.
Dude, you are WAY too hard on Canadian movies. Turkish X-men? Go to town. A quasi-art-ghost-horror-fashion design-infidelity-murder romp? Don't beat yourself up.
You don't have to apologize on behalf of all Canadians, etc... You don't owe us an apology for any Canadian film -- to include Things.
If it gives you any comfort, my third favorite movie is Canadian. It is Breaking All The Rules, 1985. I think it is an unintentional masterpiece.
While this movie on the other hand, is apparently a master piece of something else entirely.
I really appreciate your great review!
Now I can enjoy The Carpenter for what it was and also can laugh at your sardonic wit and humorous commentary throughout.
I truthfully think I would have liked The Carpenter if I had seen it upon release.
Still, I think "The Handyman" as a premise would have appealed to a wider audience and there would be a much larger array of possibilities of how to off someone.
(At least five sequels' worth.)
Best to you, Brandon, you rock!
EDIT: "Like Billy Zane, charming and creepy at the same time."
CLASSIC!
As a stage actor, whether it's Much Ado About Nothing or Macbeth, when I portray a villian, that is exactly what I strive for -- charming but creepy.
You said it best! Bravo!
6:34 The Black Knight soundbyte sent me. 😂😂
please review "EVIL TOONS"
best youtube reviewer so far!
For me it's a tie between Brandon and Bennet The Sage
Please in the name of God
Do a review on Wild Zero!
dude I just watched this movie because of your review. this was definetely a movie.
This is like a weird version of burnt offerings
16:17 Lol!!
6:34 "I'm invincible!"
Yo B... . . When u gonna do a review for Godzilla Resurgence (Shin)... . . I really like your review vids & I'm def looking 4ward to what you gonna put together for Shin Godzilla... . . Let's us know what's up bro!.. . .
@9:19 you'll never convince me that isn't Razorfist
Was everyone in this movie touched by cannabis?I still can't believe this exists,Though I think I've seen worse.Thanks for another great and entertaining review.This should be a network TV show.Great talent,thank you:)
🤣 this morning really is Canadian. Lol
From what I've seen here this movie deserves a remake. The part where Alice doesn't care about the murders kinda reminded me of the first Hellraiser movie. I think there could be a decent movie in that angle. It could work with the whole "is she crazy" question as well. Great review!
3:45 HOLY SHIT IS GARY BUSEY ...COULD HAVE FOOLED ME......WOW!!! Just lacking the uber crazy.....6:20 HAHAHAHHAHA I like how this guy doesn't react at all to getting his arm sawed off...or his other arm....HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! maybe its the beer talking but DAMN!!!! that was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHHAHAHAH
No one will be seated during the thrilling bored lady scene!
I don't see any other comments about this, and I'm surprised. Remember - when Alice is interviewing for the job, she says 'I see things that I know can't be there, but I just ignore them, so it's okay.' Don't you think things like murders happening right in front of her were exactly what she's talking about?
Who in the hell names their kid "Wings"? And couldn't they have given the Carpenter a more relatable name like "John"?
She hallucinates demons and such. So she ignores all the murders thinking they are hallucinations.
One thing I can't seem to grasp: if Ed is supposed to be a ghost, why can other people see him?
Actually, there are Canadian provinces with counties as well, particularly Ontario. Its the big one out east, you might have heard of it.
This movie actually looks bloody brilliant X) I'd happily watch this
You want to see a real sleazy Wings Hauser exploitation film, watch VICE SQUAD.
I saw this film around launch on VHS I think.
I have no memory of anything of it. But I have a clear memory of Wings Hauser as a psycho carpenter and possibly shooting a nail gun or getting shot by one. But nothing else.
Fun fact: the doctor was a regular on Are You Afraid of the Dark?.
Please tell me he's going to review the movie with the Terran Battlecruiser in it!
Wings actually looks sober in this movie!
I've got the Carpenter on VHS. It's worth a bit of cash if I remember correctly. It only cost £1, about $1.25
@9:16 I swear I hear faint sounds of the opening riff to Rush's Red Barchetta right about here
OMG, “not only are abortions free but there mandatory.” I almost spit out my Timmy’s coffee!
Could have done without the Fox News jibe.
@@Ennis85 😂
_Now, I'm going to imagine if John Carpenter..._
_...Made a spoof of this movie, The "Carpenter"_ lol
I like how apathetic Alice is when Wings is slicing the douchebag's arms off. Like, "Yo, dude. You don't need that arm. Let me help you, eh?"
I wish you'd review "The Wind" with Wings and Meg Foster, along with Steve Railsback. Released in 1986, it also goes by "The Edge of Terror," and "Terror's Edge."
Plus... I've enjoyed any of you vlogs I've seen so far!
Geez, i had no idea canadians could be violent. I literally thought it was written into their D.N.A. to be nice.
Not defending the movie, but she did say early on that she'd suffered a nervous breakdown. She was likely just as crazy as the "ghost". Hence why she seem so nonchalant about all the murders.
This reminds me of a TV film called "Buried Alive". It's where this guy creates a maze out of his house where he's trapped his cheating wife.
I've seen this! It's one of the few romantic dramas I have ever watched.
can you review silent night deadly night