I just want to affirm that not having an active foster license would in no way diminish your credibility, nor would it undermine all the experience and insights that you've already gained (and shared), and that you will continue to gain over time as you reflect on your experiences. I have learned a lot from your voice on these topics and I look forward to hearing more of your insights in the future, in whatever way it makes the most sense to you to communicate them.
It is absolutely okay to take time to make sure you and your own family are okay. You can’t take care of others if you haven’t taken care of yourself. We will still be here when you’re ready 💜
I respect for you for putting your immediate family’s needs first. Even if you don’t go back into fostering, think of the impact you’ve made so far and will continue making in some form.
I’m so glad to hear that your kids are starting therapy. When my parents divorced I was 5 years old so I don’t have much memory of my parents together. But I wish I could’ve gone to therapy. It was always difficult for me to express my feelings around their divorce. So props to you. Your kids will thank you for it.
Based on what you've said in the sixth minute of this video, I think you know what you need to do. It sucks, but it's for the best. Sounds like one week out of every two, You don't have the kids. If that's the case, perhaps you can figure out something you can do on the weeks that darcy and sawyer aren't with you that supports kids in foster care.
Oh man... just the possibility of violations would be enough to shut it down for me. Take a couple years off and restart when/if you can. (My two cents as a mom also going through a sucky divorce.)
I had alot of guilt when I let my certification expire, due to personal/family crisis at the time & I knew it was realistically very necessary. I hope to eventually recertify but I need a new job & probably move or renovate my apartment so it can't even be considered right now, maybe in the Spring. It sounds like it would be best to hold off until some things are more settled for you, be it a few months or a couple years. Best wishes.
Hi. Just wanted to share our story...we submitted our paperwork for recertification in July after having a license for 4 years. Had some crazy family trauma this summer and withdrew our license about a month ago. Just got the new (now void) license in the mail last week. *facepalm* I feel bad for the people that reviewed and prepared our new license packet. We thought we could do it and did the paperwork and then realized it wasn't a good time. I say this to say - yes you can save your self time and decide not to do all the paperwork but it was also helpful for us to know that we did have the license in progress just in case while we were still exploring our hearts and needed some time to think about it. It's ok to change your mind and yes it is ok to change it right after recertifying if that's when the clarity comes - you wouldn't be the only one.
Whitney, you are smart to ask these questions and consider letting your license expire. Have you thought about maintaining and just being available for respite care, rather than longer-term placements?
I'm not sure how to phrase this but as someone who's been at it for 6 years, I'd say RUN, don't walk, while you still can. You'll never get those years back with Darcy & Sawyer. You'll also be able to be more open and honest on this channel about ALL your lived experiences because you won't have to answer to every bureaucratic checkmark imposed on people willing to open their homes to children in need. Most people never come back to talk about their experiences afterwards because they just want to close that chapter. It would be amazing if you were one of the few who kept the dialogue going from a place of lived experience and not just idealism.
You are a fantastic mom and have been able to share that energy, love and care with other children in need. Your children need you right now. Only you know if you have the capacity to keep fostering, and I’m certain you will make the right decision for you. Even without a current license, you have credibility as a long-term foster parent and advocate. We are here for you and support your decision 😊
One of the hardest parts in considering letting your license lapse is no longer "being a foster parent". We have had to take a long break after a heartbreaking end to a case, and renewing feels daunting but losing the community and identity is so hard too. I wish the system made it easier to be a functioning part of.
We did 3 yrs as foster parents and we took kids 3 and under. Our first placement was a child the same age as my own child. After she left we cared for 4 mnth old twins. They were with us for 16 months. When the twins left, my marriage fell apart and we let our license expire. I was overwhelmed with being a single parent w primary custody of my then 7 yr old and 6 mnth old. But I have stayed in contact with both families and see the kids. Now the twins are 17 and one of them is considering moving back in with me. I used to think I'd be open to do foster care again but now my own kids are 21, 14, and 7. I am tired and still have 11 years of active parenting to go. At some point, there is the realization that I'm ready for the next stage in my life, and therefore, I have not gone back to being a foster parent. Whatever you do, we will support you and maybe your RUclips can evolve into a different channel of some sort. Maybe about divorce and being a single mom. There isn't a lot of family content that show those kinds of things tbh.
What a tough decision - good luck. I'm a single foster care provider and my license is due for its 4 year renewal in May. I currently have 2 placements (17.5 and 19 yo) and found out last month I'm losing my job at the end of Mar. The 19 yo will likely be leaving early next year, but I decided to renew so as to not disrupt the 17.5 yo (who's a senior in high school). I have no idea if my next job will be as flexible as my current one, so plan to put my license on hold (an option in my state) after the 17.5 yo graduates.
Most people don’t make it a year- you’ve provided a safe, loving home for so many for such a stretch and it sounds like it’s needed to just have your safe, loving home for you and your permanent babies for now. If or when you’re ready again, you can always reopen that door even if it is a mountain more work than recert, but know that the love you have provided up to this point is also a huge contribution if you need an extended break, it has been enough for so many. I know that this is not an easy decision but I hope you know the impact you’ve made in your years of fostering, regardless of whether you reopen in the future. I have a hunch things will transform again in helpful ways at some point allowing you to serve kids the way your heart has called you, but for now, I hope you take care of you ❤️
You have had you and your children's lives turned upside down. You need to regroup and make your mental health and your children's mental health a number 1 priority. You need to take time to heal and find your new normal. Take as long as you need. It might be that fostering won't be a part of your life at this time. Be kind to yourself and look after you. If you don't look after you, you won't be good for anyone!
You can do your license & still not take placements. Personally that seems like the best option that way you remain licensed whenever you’re ready for placement again
I would ask your licensing worker about what it looks like if you close and then want to reopen. Here, it's somewhat easier than starting from scratch if you do it w/in a year or so. Hope you speak with a financial advisor re downsizing and whether you save money in the long run with higher interest rates now and cost to sell/buy, tax implications etc.
I just want to affirm that not having an active foster license would in no way diminish your credibility, nor would it undermine all the experience and insights that you've already gained (and shared), and that you will continue to gain over time as you reflect on your experiences. I have learned a lot from your voice on these topics and I look forward to hearing more of your insights in the future, in whatever way it makes the most sense to you to communicate them.
It is absolutely okay to take time to make sure you and your own family are okay. You can’t take care of others if you haven’t taken care of yourself. We will still be here when you’re ready 💜
I respect for you for putting your immediate family’s needs first. Even if you don’t go back into fostering, think of the impact you’ve made so far and will continue making in some form.
I’m so glad to hear that your kids are starting therapy. When my parents divorced I was 5 years old so I don’t have much memory of my parents together. But I wish I could’ve gone to therapy. It was always difficult for me to express my feelings around their divorce. So props to you. Your kids will thank you for it.
Based on what you've said in the sixth minute of this video, I think you know what you need to do. It sucks, but it's for the best. Sounds like one week out of every two, You don't have the kids. If that's the case, perhaps you can figure out something you can do on the weeks that darcy and sawyer aren't with you that supports kids in foster care.
Oh man... just the possibility of violations would be enough to shut it down for me.
Take a couple years off and restart when/if you can. (My two cents as a mom also going through a sucky divorce.)
I had alot of guilt when I let my certification expire, due to personal/family crisis at the time & I knew it was realistically very necessary. I hope to eventually recertify but I need a new job & probably move or renovate my apartment so it can't even be considered right now, maybe in the Spring. It sounds like it would be best to hold off until some things are more settled for you, be it a few months or a couple years. Best wishes.
Sending you huge support whatever you decide.
Hi. Just wanted to share our story...we submitted our paperwork for recertification in July after having a license for 4 years. Had some crazy family trauma this summer and withdrew our license about a month ago. Just got the new (now void) license in the mail last week. *facepalm* I feel bad for the people that reviewed and prepared our new license packet. We thought we could do it and did the paperwork and then realized it wasn't a good time. I say this to say - yes you can save your self time and decide not to do all the paperwork but it was also helpful for us to know that we did have the license in progress just in case while we were still exploring our hearts and needed some time to think about it. It's ok to change your mind and yes it is ok to change it right after recertifying if that's when the clarity comes - you wouldn't be the only one.
Whitney, you are smart to ask these questions and consider letting your license expire.
Have you thought about maintaining and just being available for respite care, rather than longer-term placements?
Change is scary. This is all you’ve known for years, it’s okay to reevaluate and do what’s best for your family!
I'm not sure how to phrase this but as someone who's been at it for 6 years, I'd say RUN, don't walk, while you still can. You'll never get those years back with Darcy & Sawyer. You'll also be able to be more open and honest on this channel about ALL your lived experiences because you won't have to answer to every bureaucratic checkmark imposed on people willing to open their homes to children in need. Most people never come back to talk about their experiences afterwards because they just want to close that chapter. It would be amazing if you were one of the few who kept the dialogue going from a place of lived experience and not just idealism.
You are a fantastic mom and have been able to share that energy, love and care with other children in need. Your children need you right now. Only you know if you have the capacity to keep fostering, and I’m certain you will make the right decision for you.
Even without a current license, you have credibility as a long-term foster parent and advocate.
We are here for you and support your decision 😊
One of the hardest parts in considering letting your license lapse is no longer "being a foster parent". We have had to take a long break after a heartbreaking end to a case, and renewing feels daunting but losing the community and identity is so hard too. I wish the system made it easier to be a functioning part of.
We did 3 yrs as foster parents and we took kids 3 and under. Our first placement was a child the same age as my own child. After she left we cared for 4 mnth old twins. They were with us for 16 months. When the twins left, my marriage fell apart and we let our license expire. I was overwhelmed with being a single parent w primary custody of my then 7 yr old and 6 mnth old. But I have stayed in contact with both families and see the kids. Now the twins are 17 and one of them is considering moving back in with me. I used to think I'd be open to do foster care again but now my own kids are 21, 14, and 7. I am tired and still have 11 years of active parenting to go. At some point, there is the realization that I'm ready for the next stage in my life, and therefore, I have not gone back to being a foster parent. Whatever you do, we will support you and maybe your RUclips can evolve into a different channel of some sort. Maybe about divorce and being a single mom. There isn't a lot of family content that show those kinds of things tbh.
What a tough decision - good luck. I'm a single foster care provider and my license is due for its 4 year renewal in May. I currently have 2 placements (17.5 and 19 yo) and found out last month I'm losing my job at the end of Mar. The 19 yo will likely be leaving early next year, but I decided to renew so as to not disrupt the 17.5 yo (who's a senior in high school). I have no idea if my next job will be as flexible as my current one, so plan to put my license on hold (an option in my state) after the 17.5 yo graduates.
Most people don’t make it a year- you’ve provided a safe, loving home for so many for such a stretch and it sounds like it’s needed to just have your safe, loving home for you and your permanent babies for now. If or when you’re ready again, you can always reopen that door even if it is a mountain more work than recert, but know that the love you have provided up to this point is also a huge contribution if you need an extended break, it has been enough for so many. I know that this is not an easy decision but I hope you know the impact you’ve made in your years of fostering, regardless of whether you reopen in the future. I have a hunch things will transform again in helpful ways at some point allowing you to serve kids the way your heart has called you, but for now, I hope you take care of you ❤️
You have had you and your children's lives turned upside down. You need to regroup and make your mental health and your children's mental health a number 1 priority. You need to take time to heal and find your new normal. Take as long as you need. It might be that fostering won't be a part of your life at this time. Be kind to yourself and look after you. If you don't look after you, you won't be good for anyone!
You can do your license & still not take placements. Personally that seems like the best option that way you remain licensed whenever you’re ready for placement again
Will you tell us what happened to the B kids?
I would ask your licensing worker about what it looks like if you close and then want to reopen. Here, it's somewhat easier than starting from scratch if you do it w/in a year or so. Hope you speak with a financial advisor re downsizing and whether you save money in the long run with higher interest rates now and cost to sell/buy, tax implications etc.
It sounds like you need to be fully available to Sawyer and Darcy at the moment. Perhaps you could a different way of helping teens.
You have supported, maybe time for a new venture? New season.