What's The Funniest "DUMB" Criminal Story?
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- Опубликовано: 16 фев 2024
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What's The Funniest "DUMB" Criminal Story?
This video is filled with crazy stories. Be sure to watch the entire video ;)
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My friend is a waitres and her purse was stolen one night during her shift. The next night a group of people came in to eat and one of them tried to use her ID as proof of age to buy beer to go with their pizza. She pretended to go get his beer and called the cops who came in, hand cuffed him, and walked him across the street to the police department and jail.
"Beatings were issued." Succinct, clear, to the point. I like it.
Personally, I like hearing the tl;drs. Sometimes there's a complicated story & it clears it up for me or the summary just does so much justice to the overall effect.
Recently, I placed an order with an online vendor I don't use that often. It wasn't until I finished that I realized I'd forgotten to change the shipping address from a friend's for the last order to mine. Worse, the friend had moved to another state since I'd last ordered. I did get the shipping address changed, but I'm sure they did it because it was the same as the billing address.
These people decided to steal from folks who strap *knives* to their feet and run around with *clubs* as a form of entertainment, and they *didn’t expect to get hurt?!?*
Story 23: I like to imagine that the waiter who got rewarded, got a significant raise, and the former manager’s job as the reward XD.
Not my proudest moment, here's my own dumb criminal story from when I was younger.
Freshly 18 and living with some friends. I decided one night I was going to steal a drink from the local gas station. My EBT card was empty, so the plan was to go in, drop the drink I wanted into my coat pocket, pick up a few other things and try to run my food stamps.... Ah damn, it declined, sorry! have a nice night..
and I walked out with the drink.
Well they got suspicious and checked the cameras and saw what I did. The next day I was walking by and the angry manager lady yelled at me to come over here. I could've just ran, but was scared and complied. lol so they tell me to wait and they're calling the police. I have a few bucks on me at the time, and offer to go ahead and pay for the drink I took. They refused this option and moved forward with the police.
Cops showed up and took my info, I got a court date and such. Prior to court I got to meet with a public defender, and maaaaan was this a day I loved lawyers. Because of the fact I tried to pay for the drink, and they refused it, the lawyer got my charge reduced to "Attempted Theft" - still a misdemeanor, but less severe and saved me hundreds of dollars in fees.
I drank the drink. But because I attempted to pay the next day after being caught as a way to try to weasel out of it, it was only attempted theft.
Thanks, free public defender!
There use to be a show about dumb criminals and I remember one episode that showed security cam footage of a guy who robbed a store and then got stuck in the store all because he couldn't read the "Push/Pull" sign on the door and kept trying to open it in the wrong direction. The Clerk he just robbed even outright told him the door wasn't locked and to just move it in the other direction but he kept trying to open the door in the wrong direction giving the police plenty of time to get to the location and arrest him.
Oh and YEARS ago when I was still in high school and my great grandmother was still alive, someone broke into her appartment from the kitchen window. The dude got scared away by her dog who was a little tiny mini doverman mixed breed people kept mistaking for a Doxen but he wasn't. And this dog is the most friendly dog ever, never bites he just wanted to play. The criminal was scared of him so this little dog ended up protecting my great grandma till the police showed up. 😂
Story 9 reminds me of when the PS5 released, and people went to Ebay to sell Pictures of the PS5. It was clearly worded that it's just a picture, but they were bought up by bots that were looking for PS5s.
20:50 I'm so proud of you for being the NPC who says "It's been an hour, man", Facts!
I don't know why I care but I am really curious what you're referring to, can someone clue me in here
@@beckybodaschweri9215Facts made a reference to Payday 2 and added, “If you play the Dragon Auction Heist there’s an NPC that sounds… a little familiar?”
My son and dil, payed for someone to remove a mountain of rubish...they got fined £150, (for fly tipping) 6 weeks later, even though they checked the waste carriers license... Be careful, check and double check!!!
At an old job, we were redesigning a store and were locked in for the night. One guy's truck got stolen. He had a locator on it, but the dealership would have to turn it on, which wouldn't be open for about another hour.
I was a supervisor, so myself and one of the builders (my crew only moved products and set up shelves; we were not allowed to move fixtures or do hardware) went with the guy to file a police report at the local station with the hope it hadn't been chopped yet.
While filing, a particular blue truck with a notiable paint job drove right by the police station.
The guy said that was his truck.
A couple of officers were surprised as well, but sent a car out. I don't know what happen as the construction guy said he would stay and I was very tired, but I did hear the guy got the truck back.
I don't know if I told this story before on reddit but here we go: My father around 2000-2008 needed someone to help him with the weekly maintenance of the house, I was in graduation school, and hired a guy to go sometimes a month to help him (sometimes in the weekends, sometimes in the middle of the week). My parents at that time were about 55 years old and needed some help, my younger sister was living with them cuz she got pregnant and I was coming ang going, so they had a lady to help with cleaning and cooking (they were working and my sister and grandma needed someone to help in home). One day the lady who was helping call my mother "turn at channel 2, I think is that guy that helps there" and was, the guy my father used to hire to help him was arrested. Why? He was stealing roof tiles from a police station. The police officer heard the noise on the roof and went check, caught the guy and after the news reporter asked "why were you stealing from a police station?" "I'm illiterate, I didn't know it was a police station". (the butt load of police cars and the symbols and everything that identifies a police station were nothing to him, apparently). He must had some other infractions in his name, vanished for something like 3-5 years and scared the crap out me one day at 3 am (I was walking back home from a bar near my house, I think he was about to assault me but recognized me and just asked for a cigarette (I think he was scared of my father, a 68 years old former army sergeant who taught Strategic Planning in university, I never went to the army but i'm bigger and look crazier than my father).
TLDR: guy arrested robbing roof tiles of a police station cuz he was illiterate and didn't know it was a police station.
Remembered another: In my city, there was 3 or 4 streets in the historical part of the city (the original part of the city, today it has touristic attractions, companies and bars) that had bars and concert places dedicated to metal music, as you can imagine, every night there was about 1000 metal heads all in black packing the streets (like, really narrow and short streets, 1 car wide), the idiot assaulted a girl, took her cellphone and ran. He could ran everywhere, the assault was in a adjacent plaza, there was 5 streets out of that plaza, 4 of them would have make the guy go away unharmed, 2 main streets, 2 dark alleys and the street full of metalheads, what was his get away route? the metal street. The girl screams "get the burglar!" and immediately at least 30 guys caught the guy, who became the punch bag of the evening. I saw the guy taking a beating, ask for a beer, kept talking with my friends, after 3 beers I looked again and the guy was still taking a beating, there was a line to beat him. The moment everyone had to intervene was when a punk with a mohawk got a motocycle helmet and started to smash his head. No one was arrested, no one died. Never saw the burglar again (he was one of the many beggars that lived in that region), everything happened between 10 pm and 3 am.
TLDR: burglar ran into huge metalhead crowd after assault a girl and spent the night taking a beating.
True Story: I was at a Lamar's Doughnuts with big front picture windows. There was a couple of cop cars out front each had a cop inside it with two more ordering when a couple of criminals known locally for making Beavis and Butthead look like Geniuses Came in and tried to rob it at gun point.
EDIT: I wonder what happens to dumb criminals like that in jail.
The best dumb criminal story I have happened to my mom. When I was a teenager she had a Chevy Probe. Well my step dad was a pizza delivery driver for Domino’s. He was driving it for work. Well one night he was robbed and they stole the car. Well about 10 or 15 days later my step dad gets a call at work from a guy who had the car. Apparently the guys who stole the car tried to sell the car to someone else and told the guy it was stolen from a Domino’s pizza delivery driver. Well the guy asked to take it for a test drive and stole the car from the criminals. He found the registration in the glove box and literally called every Domino’s in our area til they found my step dad
It makes sense theres a lot of dumb criminals. After all, we dont call smart criminals criminals.
We call them politicians
:p
If anyone confused (and if you aren't, you really should have been) 17:35 is where story 11 starts, and 8:26 is where it continues.
The audacity to complain about TLDRs being half as long as the story, when your story is this long because you read only half of it.
Story 25 starts at 29:11, the reply to it is at 33:14, reply to reply is 22:22, then 11:34, then 32:07.
Wait you’re in Payday 2? Cool!
I once got an email from an unfamiliar business sending a new laptop going to my old address. Had the package redirected and then refused the shipment. Got it refunded and also a new credit card. Tried to research how that happened, never found an answer.
I once dated a Japanese girl for several years. I had spent a year in highschool as an exchange student and when it came time for her to go to University she lived with me. Now I started taking Kendo instruction while I was in Japan from her father who was the number 2 or 3 (i can't remember which) Kendo expert in the world at that time. One evening I was at work and an idiot neighbor broke into my apartment and surprised her while she was in the shower. I got a phone call from the police saying that they needed me to come home and help translate. When the guy realized that he wasn't alone he tried to overpower my gf and grabbed this little 4 foot 9 inch 84 pound girl and tried to lock her in the closet CONTAINING MY 1 METER KATANA! When the cops got there they found this 6 foot 5 inch tall 330 pound monster laying on the floor with this little tiny nude girl sitting on his chest with the Katana across his throat. The man had about a dozen foot long by 2 inch wide bruises on his back and side where she had beaten heck out of him with the side of the blade. Little did the idiot know that she was holding the back of the blade to his throat instead of the cutting edge. The cops couldn't stop laughing long enough to actually get the butt head in cuffs. Then they spent another 10 minutes before they actually believed that my gf was actually a 22 year old adult. When the trial came the guy found out just how close he had come to being un alived that he actually crapped his pants in court. My girlfriend had been training in Kendo under her father since she was 3 and was ranked 17th in the world herself.
I’ll take “things that never happened” for 300.
Actually if you take it to court you lose all control over what happens. If you take a plea deal you can do some negotiating. In court it's all up to the jury and the judge.
17:46 I swear I already heard this story
I wonder if Chris Watts kept a similar journal 🤔
Did the dumpster truck receipt guy get two people posting different stories about him doing it or did two people do the same thing?
Hey, im early. How are yall
Rather well, hbu?
@F0xtr0t775 I'm doing good and I'm happy that your doing well
Hawdy y'all
Don't read the TLDR's. You can do it. I believe in you.
Seriously tho - it's silly. We don't need a synapse of a story you literally just finished reading.
I only read tldr if it's a huge block of text and to determine if I really want to spend the time to read.
Dude would you mind actually putting the sentences in the story in the obviously correct order instead of reading their mistake verbatim and also not include the obvious split up story so that the 2nd half is like story 3 and the obvious first half to the same story is like 10 stories later.
Ok thank you, I literally only came to the comments to see if anyone else had noticed this or if I was going crazy. I even rewound the video to make sure I wasn't imagining things
And I was going to say that I haven't really noticed him reading the mistakes, but then at 35:54 I caught him just reading the sentence somehow getting cut off and straight onto the beginning of the next one while acting like nothing happened.
And as a little bonus, at 31:20 he actually did the reverse, and seemed to correct a mistake, as they had written "probably" and he changed it to promptly 🤔
It's an AI voice (albeit a pretty good one). The voice doesn't know what it reads.
Its actually a person. There are some videos where he shows his face. @@brag0001
Are you in payday 2?
He does do narration for a living. Voice acting is kinda similar.
I am like number 179
This dude: tldrs should he short whynare they longer than the actual story
Also this dude: what's the point of putting a tldr if its short?
(No hate but come on man )
can i plz have shotgun back?
Dude! Story 11 is obviously story 3 reposted.
He's literally reposting old videos. I've seen the exact video on mainly facts months ago
Boyd sez...why don`t you just shut up about how long the story is and let them tell it ?
Are all your videos edited by random chopping?
Seriously, half of each story is spread out through half the video