John Bradshaw - Healing The Shame That Binds You (Part 2)

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  • Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
  • This lecture is based on John Bradshaw's book with the same title..but in this lecture he only covers the first part of the book (the problem)..the second part of the book deals with (the solution) and the healing process..
    You can find the book on Amazon.com:
    www.amazon.com/...

Комментарии • 78

  • @rr7firefly
    @rr7firefly 10 лет назад +74

    This man is brilliant. Why isn't he known by everyone who desperately needs his message?

    • @kimiuse
      @kimiuse 10 лет назад +8

      so true. i needed his books so many years ago. I've only found him recently...He's made feel understood for the first time ever..

    • @lovemymuzic1
      @lovemymuzic1 6 лет назад +2

      @Moving Music By shawnNhouston John's wonderful work will stand the test of time, by the many people who continually find and utilize his work and find courage to heal. Thank you John, it was the pivotal point in my life and therapy when your first series on PBS On the Family came out. And the many books and videos sonce.

    • @SkumBanana
      @SkumBanana 5 лет назад

      Very true. By the way, Noe, we are both Pat Metheny fans, by the looks of it. Saw some your comments on other Pat Metheny songs (e.g. Back in Time). The world is a small place, indeed. I sincerely hope you'll find inner peace, beauty and truth in your life

    • @verumdoctrina9421
      @verumdoctrina9421 4 года назад +1

      im going to try this... because postmodern deconstructionists are killing everything that is good

    • @johnkiama2788
      @johnkiama2788 4 года назад

      Love is work. RIP John Bradshaw

  • @adamlark8631
    @adamlark8631 5 лет назад +10

    This man saved my life.

    • @lovepeace11
      @lovepeace11 5 лет назад +1

      Mine also - 25 years ago. Peace & Love

    • @janinepettit2019
      @janinepettit2019 4 года назад

      He saved someone in my family. Stumbled on him 20 years ago when he first wrote books. Gave the book to my family member who dove into his work and changed his life.

    • @debifambro1039
      @debifambro1039 4 года назад

      Me too for the past 20 years...
      I'm still reading his books...

  • @xutaxure
    @xutaxure 12 лет назад +5

    I have so much respect for the audience, cause they're obviously aware that being a parent is not easy and are clever enough to ask for help and support

  • @bburnsga
    @bburnsga 9 лет назад +12

    I LOVE John Bradshaw & what he teaches! He is THE foremost authority on Toxic Shame & Codependency that I've ever heard or read! This is an excellent presentation. I've had the cassettes of this title for many, many years, & still love it -- it helped me SO much after my divorce in 1989, which took years to get over.

  • @TheCaithleen
    @TheCaithleen 6 лет назад +5

    I don’t understand why no one continued this work, or at least brought witness to the greatness of it wow I know so many of us who did this healing process and grew into lovely blossoms with great extraordinary lives,now what.....xoxo John

    • @lovemymuzic1
      @lovemymuzic1 6 лет назад

      Hi Kathleen,
      John's work is alive and thriving. Please check out the Center for Creative Changes (Jason Saffer is a Bradshaw trained therapist who is director there) in California. They are absolutely wonderful and many have trained under John and have helped tjousands. It would be a shame to let all of his wonderful work remain unused.

  • @karencrewe435
    @karencrewe435 10 лет назад +17

    Mr Bradshaw, i am reading your book Healing the Shame That Binds You...and i am in recovery...i cried lots cos i saw and experienced all the stuff in our family dynamic.....i am 55yrs and carried this stuff all my life...I am moving out of this as of now.....

    • @mcmjr405
      @mcmjr405 9 лет назад +4

      It's never too late to let go of shame and live a life that is free of toxic emotions like shame.

  • @InfiniteSpiral112358
    @InfiniteSpiral112358 10 лет назад +29

    this is so 'nail on the head' that i am literally crying like a child. in my case i had parents who were telling me 'oh grow up, stop being so sensitive and get a life' (even when i was on medical disability and very very physically ill in the hospital), and yet at the same time treating me like a child who can not even tie my shoes properly, even up until now, and i am 43 years old, like 'no no, i will do that for you or you are sure to mess it up/make the wrong decision/make a mistake, you are not capable'. conflicting input simultaneously... ever since the damage that was done by that started to become *very* visible, from my mental and emotional states, thought processes, and certain behaviors... they only react to it with anger, pinning everything on me, 'this is all your own fault', or 'you are doing this on purpose'. i love my parents and i forgive them, because i believe that they had/have no idea how much damage they were/are causing me. and as an adult, yes, i know very well that only i am responsible for making sure that i work hard with a psychologist twice a week, learning to heal that damage, and seeing myself with my own eyes, and never anyone else's, including theirs. there is a very good quote that i look at every time i backslide and start beating *myself* up, over all of this... over the mess in my head... "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."-- Frederick Douglass.

    • @Mark_KE8YCV
      @Mark_KE8YCV 9 лет назад +1

      InfiniteSpiral112358 I saw his 12 hour series on the family and cried through most of it

    • @cristinepunla419
      @cristinepunla419 5 лет назад +1

      Hits me to the bone. East to build strong children than repair a broken man.. so true

  • @iluminateiluminateya3332
    @iluminateiluminateya3332 11 лет назад +7

    OMG... I've been reading this book. However, this audio has allowed me to get more in contact with my feelings and do a whole vision process rescuing my little ashamed little girl. Thank you John Bradshaw and whoever uploaded this video!!

  • @deleted72636
    @deleted72636 6 лет назад +13

    Say to yourself I forgive you, and I love you, and I accept you.

  • @RICHARDGRANNON
    @RICHARDGRANNON 10 лет назад +25

    healing toxic shame ... the order of the day - this a good video to start with, please watch

    • @BrianNavalinsky
      @BrianNavalinsky 10 лет назад +2

      I used Bradshaw in the early nineties. It takes a lot of courage but well worth it.

    • @birgittasilfver
      @birgittasilfver 10 лет назад +2

      Yep, my mother will die before she admits she made a mistake. And she never ever put up boundaries for 2 of her children, always blaming the other 2 no matter we had nothing to do with it.

    • @Magicmeatbag
      @Magicmeatbag 10 лет назад

      Thanks for the link dude. Appreciate :)

  • @SoSeN88
    @SoSeN88 11 лет назад +14

    I experience both with my parents. Mother was "dont grow up" type, and father "dont be a child". I was always somewhere between them, but not myself...

  • @bringiton3457
    @bringiton3457 6 лет назад +8

    Wow, my parents swear that they are perfect! It was never okay for me to make a mistake. Even if they were wrong, they would never apologized.

  • @loangounimakingpersonaldev1492
    @loangounimakingpersonaldev1492 4 года назад +1

    John Bradshow...whatta messenger!! Namaste!🙏🏾🙌🏿

  • @karencrewe435
    @karencrewe435 10 лет назад +10

    peace and Blessing to every city every race!!!!

  • @A.S2400
    @A.S2400 7 лет назад +16

    If you have no healthy shame you refuse to acknowledge your humanness. You can't learn or be creative- why would you, if you're already perfect and God like?! That's my parents. They would (and plan to) rather die than admit they've ever done anything wrong.
    I'm breaking that generational curse. I'll give my kids love and heal my own toxic shame. I refuse to pass the shame down any further. I need to drop that sack of bricks right now!

  • @moshiacsun6573
    @moshiacsun6573 5 лет назад +2

    John Bradshaw is essential for Drug and Alcohol Recovery. I had to also to learn to forgive people who have done me wrong. I had to forgive people who didnt even ask for forgiveness.

  • @coppersense999
    @coppersense999 4 года назад +4

    I love his book, such a breakthrough for me. Time has shown he was not able to redefine "shame" in every day use. His theories are 100% valid and true, but it still sounds strange when he uses the phrase "shameless" to describe egotistical, perfectionistic, abusive parents.

    • @inchristalone25
      @inchristalone25 2 года назад

      Such a breakthrough for me too. I think shame is the underlying emotion beneath ego, perfectionism and abusive parents so he has to use it.

  • @dennishengstebeck2017
    @dennishengstebeck2017 8 лет назад +2

    John has been speaking of some very powerful observations, from the field. It's heavy material, and many of those folks that are there, Sartre genuinely motivated to break and change.

  • @spiritosa0123
    @spiritosa0123 12 лет назад +19

    "don't grow up, I need you to nourish me" are the words and behavior of a narcissistic parent not an "altruistic" one..

    • @kidsmoked
      @kidsmoked 7 лет назад +4

      spiritosa0123 I agree.

    • @joh37get
      @joh37get 6 лет назад +5

      my parents

  • @troydaniels3798
    @troydaniels3798 3 года назад

    Great insight.... my transition occurred when i was turned over to the teachings of the Catholic Church.... was taught that I was deeply flawed, ( original sin), had no control oveer my life or thoughts and that god could come down at any second and take away people who I felt close to. I was condemned to burn in hell for all eternity for the slightest infraction
    such as not nodding my head when saying the word God, or daring to think of something that was not in the bible or cathescim. All that by the time I was 5 years old. My best friend
    passed away in the night.. the following day, the nun said ' God came down and called him to heaven". So I grew up with the prospect that God could come down at anytime and remove loved ones from my life, just because he wanted to.
    My tather was a devout Catholic, and if you questioned anything, you would be emotionally and sometimes physically abused the result of the strictness of the Catholic faith and the' spare the rod, spoil the child mentallity of the times i.e. beating your children into submission
    to stop their curiousity.
    The first 20 years of my life were pure hell, constantly told I was worthless. Constantly reminded I had to endure everything because it was god's will. My mother suffered crippling strokes and was denied much needed medical care, because this was God's Will.
    So, John Bradshaw probably refers to a time when the Catholic religion of hatred was widely preached throughout this nation causing untold mental illness among millions of children by
    preachers with absolutely no qualifications except to ' further in influence of the catholic religion'.

  • @hollyconn
    @hollyconn 8 лет назад +4

    Awesome John! You're very inspiring, you touch my heart deeply :)

  • @v.r.t0846
    @v.r.t0846 3 года назад +1

    The people who live a life without making any mistakes , they do make mistakes but they never admitted them.

  • @sebnemkalkan3312
    @sebnemkalkan3312 2 года назад

    This man is overqualified for this World

  • @MrOphachew
    @MrOphachew 13 лет назад +2

    Yup my Mother did just that played god and refused to admit she was wrong when she was. Now, I've got an older sister that has nothing but excuses not to help me even though she is in an obvious position to do so.

    • @synon9m
      @synon9m 5 лет назад +1

      help yourself

  • @batfink77
    @batfink77 6 лет назад

    Singing we all live in a yellow submarine 😊 love this.

  • @archangelum
    @archangelum 12 лет назад +1

    This is so true. We need each other. :)

  • @wszechbytdoskonay3071
    @wszechbytdoskonay3071 7 лет назад +2

    amazing words....

  • @yourenough3
    @yourenough3 6 лет назад +1

    Amazing! Truth!

  • @batfink274
    @batfink274 Год назад

    I'd say parenting is the hardest job in the world to do well and the easiest job in the world to do poorly.

  • @yourenough3
    @yourenough3 6 лет назад +5

    I have self medicated. I have too much toxic shame.

    • @yourenough3
      @yourenough3 6 лет назад +4

      I must learn how to self soothe!

    • @moshiacsun6573
      @moshiacsun6573 5 лет назад

      Me too self medicated myself with no Pharmaceuticals.

  • @ravishingtwinkle3811
    @ravishingtwinkle3811 Год назад

    I think healthy single parent bringing up kids is way better than children growing up with abusive mom dad staying together. I wonder there are so many degree education in world but why nothing for parenting, why nothing when it comes to creating biggest impact

  • @reg8297
    @reg8297 3 года назад +1

    U become shame based whrn u grew up traumatised I was hungry as a child could ever learn at school was so depressed my mother was depressed my father abused her left her to feed a fanily without food and needs met I guess my mother abused me from her own inner turmoil I grew up met an abuser and my life got destroyed today I'm in so much pain I don't know how to function cause I can't forget

  • @marspl
    @marspl 5 лет назад

    6:30 beautiful amen

  • @rr7firefly
    @rr7firefly 8 лет назад +6

    Parents who can never admit they might make a mistake. That's a problem. But this very thing exists in the Catholic Church, where priests are ceded absolute authority by those who are "good Catholics." As direct representative of Jesus Christ they are supposed to be without fault, beyond questioning. Problem?

  • @DreamerDebora
    @DreamerDebora 12 лет назад

    Such true words! Love it^^

  • @kirstenlampl9541
    @kirstenlampl9541 3 года назад

    Brilliant. Just so weird to think that he probably isn’t vegan.

  • @SomethingSoOriginal
    @SomethingSoOriginal 9 лет назад +1

    What is the context for this talk?

  • @wintergoosey6412
    @wintergoosey6412 6 лет назад +1

    Neglect is abuse, and giving a child no boundaries, be an adult hurry up and grow up.

  • @rorytennes8576
    @rorytennes8576 6 лет назад

    I know a single mom who has a 21 yr old boy living at home who she has not allowed to drive yet.

  • @xCarxMellax
    @xCarxMellax 11 лет назад +2

    3:24 creeps me out

  • @joomlaserviceprovide
    @joomlaserviceprovide 7 лет назад

    When was this filmed?

    • @lovemymuzic1
      @lovemymuzic1 6 лет назад

      @Moving Music By shawnNhouston I have been also and it saddens me that he's gone. But, oh WHAT a legacy he left and continues to leave. He trained many and they continue the work.

  • @clvanhorne7841
    @clvanhorne7841 6 лет назад

    4:07...
    DID YOU HEAR HIM ON GRACE!????,..;not LeGaLism??

  • @MrOphachew
    @MrOphachew 13 лет назад

    Too many single women and the Gov. gives them all the assistance they need. Maybe not all the assistance they want by all they'll ever need. Food stamps, housing, job training.

  • @SomethingSoOriginal
    @SomethingSoOriginal 9 лет назад +1

    Why do the audience look so sad and depressed?

    • @no1wrongen
      @no1wrongen 9 лет назад +13

      SomethingSoOriginal its a serious subject and not a comedy show??

    • @lovemymuzic1
      @lovemymuzic1 6 лет назад +2

      They are processing this, and when someone is addressing the HEAVY and undeniable pain, it will show. Courage is painful sometimes, and our countenance reflects that.