This idea wouldn't work because it would defeat Ares's justification for wanting to destroy mankind. Ares wants to destroy mankind because they do evil of their own freewill and not because he's making them do it. Ares says that he puts suggestions for evil in humans' heads, but he leaves it up to them to choose either Right or Wrong. The story for the Wonder Woman movie hinges on the notion that mankind has freewill. _"They start these wars on their own."_ -- Ares
An idea I'd add to this take on Ares: How about an Amazon warrior who sets out to fight Ares like Wonder Woman, but seeing him behind every act of violence and war turns her into a paranoid extremist who keeps killing people over the slightest suspicion, turning her into a villain whom Wonder Woman herself has to fight eventually.
Seeing Ares with his mustache in the flashback... I audibly groaned and sank in my seat. Like, that was his Greek god, Mount Olympus look too? And then the mustache peaking through his CG helmet... UGH
Balert Everyone laughed at that moment in my screening. Fuck, that third act was horrible. Just fucking terrible, not just for Professor Lupin's stache though.
I was like, oh ok so he changed his form over the years right? No? He looked exactly the same? Ok. And he had that same English Victorian era style mustache in ancient Greece? Ok. Seemed like a weird thing not to change. It immediately made me think about how they're also forcing Cavill to keep his mustache when shooting Justice League.
I really like this. Especially because the idea of Aires jumping bodies after they die just makes sense I wish they had actually done that. Always down to hear more pitches from you
My one HUGE issue with this movie is that all the Greek Gods are dead, which kinda limits interesting stories in the future, since there are so many good Wonder Woman stories involve them
Tom Cadogan Ya but with the way the DCEU seems almost afraid of deep comic lore, or just comic stuff in general (ie: supermans underwear, general colour pallets) I highly doubt it
So when the fuck is max gonna get a superhero movie? His breakout movie was a fresh and successful superhero film, he wrote a successful Superman comic, and he's constantly killing it with these fan fics for all to see.
1:14 - When they joked about the gas mask? That was awesome! It was almost very close to the giggling Batman 66 villains we're discouraged from but they played it so well. The General and Dr. Poison had a serial movie villain (moustache twirling) musical theme that I enjoyed.
At one point while watching Wonder Woman I noticed that Gal Gadot and Max Landis have similar looking faces. It was very distracting for me and now that I've mentioned it I hope it will be very distracting for all of you as well.
Seeing you get all hyped up and excited, explaining your own take on how events could go if you were in the directors seat is making me hype to go watch Wonder Woman again. Thanks Max.
Awesome pitch, really! Still would have the tank-scene with dr poison, it's a stronger picture to spare someone evil for the sake of her humanity than the basicly good guy, I think.
I'm so in love with this video?? Just the infectious joy regarding the movie and the feeling of watching someone overflow with creativity and passion... thank you so much, this is my new favorite video on the internet!
YOOO DUDE you addressed most of my issues with the plot in this movie--i think something like that would've tightened it up. i felt really weird about the aries plot specifically because i felt like it almost trivialized the war. but this brings it back to the fact that humans are still flawed and anyone can be corrupted (by bloodthirsty gods or their own ambition or whatever). it also answers the question i had at the end of the movie which is "ok so where were you for wwii diana???" anyway i love this. i was almost expecting the Friend character to come back for something.
I definitely felt that the villains needed some punching up to make them worthy adversaries and this ending would certainly have helped that significantly. I would add the tweak of Diana taking the paralyzed Dr Poison back to Themyscira so she can be cared for there and so she can talk to Ares more - after all, he is a child of Zeus too and she's never had a brother before. It would help amp up the love and compassion angle (which I felt was rather let down in the film's final confrontation), plus sows some seeds for future sequels - imagine Ares imprisoned within Dr Poison being held in comfort and luxury, within grasp of the very thing he wants most but he simply can't reach it...
Frostfirezero which would provide some great tension between Diana and her mother over whether bringing him there was the right move to make and the mayhem of the inevitable Ares 'jailbreak'.
I did like how they went with her not being the one that saves everyone and tied up Steve Trevor as a story thread overall. in a way that didn't make her look weak and him look like just a tag along. I mean she had her moment after and while rushed it was still okay, but he saved everyone and it actually lent to his character, because it was who he's was projected as the entire movie..
I personally thought that Wonder Woman was an eh/okay movie, but MAN, if all of what Max wanted to add was in it, I’d like it a whole lot- and maybe even love it.
Okay I fucking love this. I really need DC and Marvel to give you their final scripts before they go in to pre-productions to make little edits like this.
Definitely a good alternate ending, and a solution to the somewhat lackluster villain reveal. Sorta leaves out the whole thing about Ares actually not being the cause of wars n shit and that it's just innate evil in the hearts of men but, hey, a toss up between an excellent villain and an interesting theme is dope. Smart as always, Max.
Actually really like this I had an idea that Chris Pine's character not dying and being saved by a Green Lantern ring and transported to Ola would be a great way to introduce the Green Lantern corpse to the dceu
This was smart in the way that the final battle in Dr.Strange was smart; It was fun and colorful, but makes you use your brain at least a little bit. More than what most action movies can say (and I love action movies).
Max Honestly this is how I wish the movie would have played out. I LOVE the idea of Ares being the manipulation of mans anger and hatred instead of some beatemup' finale. Either way I adored this movie and am very happy you liked it also
Spoiler warning! One thing I would've written differently: NOT having Ares tell WW that she herself is the weapon against him. She would figure it out from the information given to her before. Like how you will have WW think about the consequences of taken lives who just got tangled up in the mess of war and also that she traps A in Dr P's body, instead of the non sequitur ending we got.
Thanks Max, as usual you have great ideas ! But if I may, Ares is the God of War surrounded by soldiers during WW2, right ? So, what if Wonder Woman stopped him in a place where war does NOT exist, let's say in a monastery (is it the right word ? a place where monks live) ? He would have no place to jump to, he would be stuck in a single body. Or go out of it and destroying everything as a freaking GOD, it works too ^^ Keep going, Max, great job !
isnt there such a moment with her mother (not a friend)? The mother gives her the crown-thingy and goes "you are the best thing, i love you, but you also make me so sad with this decision"... like she is obviously against her wishes, but still goes along with them (kind of what you described for the friend)
Max, love these videos you've done, esp. the DC related ones. Question: As an very amateur-ish future comic book writer, how does one avoid their characters being compared to others? How exactly does one 'write' for comics? I've read so many articles that conflict, some say this or that, but none of them agree on anything.
Wonder Woman is about a character that is a DemiGod, but a human when it matters and John Cena when it matters. Force Awakens is about a regular girl, that is in JOHN CENA MODE all the time. What the heck is going on in this world?
Thanks Max.. your ideas are always cool.. I especially liked your idea about Force Awakens when you said that Kylo should have toyed with Rei and Finn and then realize Rei has the force.. Anyway, take care!
"El bailarín" 6/6/17 Alonzo had been watching her for sometime from the cantina. The streets were agleam with the sanguine light of the oil lamps, still wet from the rain. It was a warm night and she was dancing the Jaleo de Jerez beneath the almond tree whose branches blushed with clouds of blossom. Every swish of her hand and turn of her ankle was commended by those gathered there on the glowing cobble, music drifting amongst them like draughts of myrhh. When the song ended she said a few words to the guitarist, lit a cigarette and disappeared down the alley. “My Sofía, she did not dance. Though she was patient and fought fair and when I kissed her hair it smelled of baked bread. She did not dance on our wedding day. But laughed when I twirled her sisters round. That night she cried when the sheets were stained.” His shirt stuck to the back of his chair. Paying the bill, he stammered something graceless to the waiter and started home down the narrow lane. The moon astonished him, revealing itself behind the long, white sheets rippling from the rooftops as he left the square. He heard the guitar begin to play again. Would she notice he had gone? He doubted it. “Why did I drink rum? I should have known it would spoil my stomach. Whiskey and a little ice, that’s the trick.” A crew of sailors passed him by, but none of them tipped their caps. Their uniforms were so clean. Alonzo remembered the years he had spent in the Great War. That it was perhaps the only time in his life that he had been content seemed strange to others and stranger even to himself. “War is terrible. But it does prioritize things rather nicely.” He continued down the hill, along the wall of red flowers looming above, tangled in the moonlight like rubies of rose. On the steps of the church was Sebastián, carrying two candleholders in each hand. “Alonzo!” “Sebastián...what have you got there?” “The Padre asked me to have four more made. So I'm taking them to Granada in the morning.” “Are they silver?” “Beautiful, no?” “The Padre has expensive taste.” “We should all be so blessed! Won't you come with me?” “To Granada? What for?” “If you like, call it a pilgrimage.” “I've seen the Alhambra. My wife and I went to watch the sun set on those palace walls. A pearl set in emeralds. Or so the poets say...” “Seems something a man could stand to see twice.” “Yes, well...stop by before you leave. If I'm keen perhaps I might.” Sebastián lowered his head, deferring the road to his old friend. “Rise early. The trip will do you good. Remember, rice that's not stirred will burn.” “You've been listening to too many sermons.” They shook on it and went their ways. Alonzo took a few coins from his pocket and held them in his hand. “Not enough for whiskey. Not even enough for ice!” he laughed. Surely there was a bottle left over in his room. The scent of the sea made his heart flush. He could hear the strays crying on the beach, and the man loved them for it. “I wish that they would come with me. Come with me and keep me up all night! I would spoil them with chops! Roll them on the floor! Like they were my children and I was their Papa.” But they did not follow. When Alonzo arrived home, he lingered a moment in the doorway. The lights were off and the ice box hummed from the kitchen. He closed his eyes and passed through each room, slowly, deliberately, feeling with his hands and wondering if this was what Death felt like-a half-drunk walk through an unlit house. “What is the dark? Dirt beneath God's fingernail. He raked his hand and wiped his brow and left us there for some reason or another. But why did He did not wash himself clean of us?” After searching his room, he sat on the foot of the bed. There were cigarettes. He struck a match. There was a little chocolate. He was not hungry. There was no whiskey. As was his custom, he went to the closet and fingered through the dresses hung on the rod. Then he settled on the chiffon Sofía would wear on la Asunción, arranging it on the bed where she would sleep beside him. Laying his head upon the pillow, his eyes were caught by the string of stars glinting between the curtains. He was alone. Alone like the dancer beneath the lamps. “She is dancing. And because she dances, she does not know she is alone. She has forgotten. I know that I am alone. The whiskey makes me forget. I remember now. She will not remember me, of that I am certain. I don’t even remember me.” And with that he fell asleep, the stars still shining, the dancer still dancing and the cigarette still burning between his fingers. “I am like a shoreless sea. Dreams are no longer dreams, between her world and mine.” When morning came and the town was clearing away the charred walls and the ice box smeared with ash and the still smoldering wood, there Sebastián stood beside his car, hat in hand. Suddenly the road to Granada seemed very long.
I liked this ending more tbh, I also would have liked that ares fed on war , instead of just moving the strings behind it, that way you can show him getting stronger when there is conflict, and weaker when there isnt. similar to the armor he built for that jl animated series episode
The only thing I would have changed was to keep WW in a silver and gold version of her costume until the end of the film. She dawns the red/white/blue version of the costume after Trevor sacrifices himself as an homage to his ideals and the ideals of good-hearted men and women.
Max I really envy you, that your fantasy can grow in such exponetial way causing in your mind a movie within the movie giving you countles of ideas to be inspired of (sorry for my grammar)
Your idea has similar end game as "Forever" series had. Personally I would have ended the movie after she kills the general, with the message that you can't save the world, but you must try your best :)
The friendship bit reminds me of Wonder Woman: The True Amazon that came out recently. (I don't like the friendship bit, mostly because because I like Diana to feel othered on the island, as the only Child surrounded by adults as a reason to leave. Which I liked that there's a reference to that in the movie, but it's not really played up.)
I enjoyed listening to the idea. The body hoping is a fun trick I'd love to see WW or any hero try to solve. Plus I would argue wit over brawn would be better than using words like strong or strength. Too many of us, even writers think a strong character has more to do with a physical attribute, when really it has to do with choices regarding difficulty or obstacle. It's not that she can fight because she has the skill and power, it's how she fights. How smart are her attacks? Max's idea of using the paralyzing gas is a great moment of that type of strength. To know how to fight as opposed to just fighting.
probably cut out that "Ron Weasley" character at the beginning, but the rest I would pay to see. I did wish that fight at the end had more to do with the overall theme of the movie, and I think this method would have worked a lot better.
David Thewlis is one of my favorite actors and he was great in Wonder Woman. I think it was kind of weird seeing Thewlis in the Ares armor though. I think they should have hid his face once he transformed and insinuate that he is omniscient in the way you're suggesting.
...also Ares possessing Steve hearkens back to her realization that she probably couldn't trust Steve after Veld, yet more complexity. My only gripe w/ this ending Max, Is that they set up something (or someone) being a "god-killer". Walking away from a paralyze Ares won't cut it.
Since Greek gods are more like forces of nature, you wouldn't be able to kill Ares. Trapping Ares into a body would certainly be some sort of reverse Pandora's Box.
i LOVE the idea that the soldiers she's killing would be directly possessed, that really bothered me in the actual film, because she was kicking their asses shortly after explaining that they were not really at fault, only corrupted by aries.
Dude! I liked Wonder Woman a lot, and couldn't fathom how they could have improved on it... but, THAT was awesome, and, yea, would have made it even better! You should totally go pitch to WB, and get on the sequel! I'd love to see your take on WW!
I thought it would have had much better payoff through the movie if they'd established at the beginning that Steve did not truly believe Ares was responsible for the war but took WW along for the benefit of first, escaping the island and second, using her as a secret weapon when he comes to realize she's a badass (write him more as a strategic man who will do anything to end the war that's practically already taken his life). this creates tension throughout as we know she's being strung along and will eventually realize she's being used in the "bad guys close in" scene before the big battle. Steve of course has now fully realized his feelings for her, admits his love, etc. but she feels betrayed, acts like his love is worthless. this unfinished business, I think, would have made his death much more impactful. I love the idea of Ares moving from body to body and I agree that he should eventually be found in Dr. poison. however, Dr. poison should have been a real villain the whole goddamn movie as opposed to a lil' henchwoman. The gas that gave the general super strength? yeah. should have been a lie she told to feed his ego and should have really been a toxic gas right there to kill him so she could run the whole operation and establish herself as someone to fear early in the film.
I liked WW too, but I wish they would have given you a crack at the rewrite. Your additions would have been great. Only change to your ending would be WW walks away from the trapped Aeries as she says, " I be waiting". Gives her a terminator-esque one liner and proves she is a woman of action, not of words.
I love the idea of Ares going body to body.
True, very cool idea!
I heard they're skipping to modern day in the sequel, but if they ever do a WW2 with Ares, I would definitely like to see the body swapping moment.
This idea wouldn't work because it would defeat Ares's justification for wanting to destroy mankind. Ares wants to destroy mankind because they do evil of their own freewill and not because he's making them do it. Ares says that he puts suggestions for evil in humans' heads, but he leaves it up to them to choose either Right or Wrong. The story for the Wonder Woman movie hinges on the notion that mankind has freewill.
_"They start these wars on their own."_ -- Ares
Watch Fallen with Denzel Washignton, i think you will like it
An idea I'd add to this take on Ares: How about an Amazon warrior who sets out to fight Ares like Wonder Woman, but seeing him behind every act of violence and war turns her into a paranoid extremist who keeps killing people over the slightest suspicion, turning her into a villain whom Wonder Woman herself has to fight eventually.
Seeing Ares with his mustache in the flashback... I audibly groaned and sank in my seat. Like, that was his Greek god, Mount Olympus look too? And then the mustache peaking through his CG helmet... UGH
Balert He looked like if Commissioner Gordon from Batman became a Supervillain
Balert Everyone laughed at that moment in my screening. Fuck, that third act was horrible. Just fucking terrible, not just for Professor Lupin's stache though.
I trhought the same thing. Could you not do a BEARD!?! Come on
I was like, oh ok so he changed his form over the years right? No? He looked exactly the same? Ok. And he had that same English Victorian era style mustache in ancient Greece? Ok. Seemed like a weird thing not to change. It immediately made me think about how they're also forcing Cavill to keep his mustache when shooting Justice League.
I really like this. Especially because the idea of Aires jumping bodies after they die just makes sense I wish they had actually done that. Always down to hear more pitches from you
Reminds me of the move Fallen, with Denzel Washington.
Nice, Max! I loved it! You should be a writer or something!
heh
;)
My one HUGE issue with this movie is that all the Greek Gods are dead, which kinda limits interesting stories in the future, since there are so many good Wonder Woman stories involve them
Guy Person well Hades is probably still alive becauae who is going to collect the dead? Speaking of which Hades is my villain for my WW3 fanfic
Dead gods have a habit of not staying dead. Especially if it's someone like Aries, you just have them be revived by the power of war or something.
Tom Cadogan Ya but with the way the DCEU seems almost afraid of deep comic lore, or just comic stuff in general (ie: supermans underwear, general colour pallets) I highly doubt it
+Guy Person They're afraid of anything that they're not sure will make money/isn't proven. They were afraid to make a Wonder Woman movie before now.
Guy Person i completely agree her greek heritage is one of the most interesting things about WW
So when the fuck is max gonna get a superhero movie? His breakout movie was a fresh and successful superhero film, he wrote a successful Superman comic, and he's constantly killing it with these fan fics for all to see.
That fuckin mustache.
That scene with WW and her friend on the boat sounds a lot like the actual scene with WW and her mother..
exactly. they did the scene. mother doesnt stop her or fight her, accepts her decision. why change it to the same thing but with a friend?
You know DC did something right when even Max liked it
Ok so now Max is just straight up embracing his Joker persona. Those teethy smiles to the camera can't be anything else
1:14 - When they joked about the gas mask? That was awesome! It was almost very close to the giggling Batman 66 villains we're discouraged from but they played it so well. The General and Dr. Poison had a serial movie villain (moustache twirling) musical theme that I enjoyed.
At one point while watching Wonder Woman I noticed that Gal Gadot and Max Landis have similar looking faces. It was very distracting for me and now that I've mentioned it I hope it will be very distracting for all of you as well.
Ryan Gates how could you
Ryan Gates what is the matter with you😫 - you are right - but seriously man! I wanna see Max in a WW costume now.......
Holy shit they have the same expression sometimes fuck
OH FUCK YOU
;P
Ryan Gates iiiii
First, but I still think Max is sort of crazy. I still love when he posts video.
Angryfan I think you have to be at least a little crazy to be a good storyteller
Angryfan
Eccentric.
My kind of crazy
Max is too inside his own head and he's in an industry that promotes that. But if he's not careful he'll get lost in there and unable to get back
Max is too inside his own head and he's in an industry that promotes that. But if he's not careful he'll get lost in there and unable to get back
Your delivery of "How stupid do you feel right now?" was a bit Joker-y
CONVERSE1991 also very lex luthor... oh wait
TheWizardOfOsborne Too soon...
Better than Leto
Seeing you get all hyped up and excited, explaining your own take on how events could go if you were in the directors seat is making me hype to go watch Wonder Woman again. Thanks Max.
Awesome pitch, really! Still would have the tank-scene with dr poison, it's a stronger picture to spare someone evil for the sake of her humanity than the basicly good guy, I think.
I'm so in love with this video?? Just the infectious joy regarding the movie and the feeling of watching someone overflow with creativity and passion... thank you so much, this is my new favorite video on the internet!
Improve the film by using the tired old body hopping villain idea? GENIUS!
The thumbnail for this is perfect
Okay that ending is actually so so so so so brilliant
being in basic training for 2 months really made me miss these videos
YOOO DUDE you addressed most of my issues with the plot in this movie--i think something like that would've tightened it up. i felt really weird about the aries plot specifically because i felt like it almost trivialized the war. but this brings it back to the fact that humans are still flawed and anyone can be corrupted (by bloodthirsty gods or their own ambition or whatever). it also answers the question i had at the end of the movie which is "ok so where were you for wwii diana???"
anyway i love this. i was almost expecting the Friend character to come back for something.
"...instead of this dude with a mustache..." lol I couldn't agree more.
Fabulous video. I love it when you go into storytelling mode.
Max should write MOS 2 with Matthew Vaughn directing !
My brain does the exact same thing lol, love your thoughts as always max!
I definitely felt that the villains needed some punching up to make them worthy adversaries and this ending would certainly have helped that significantly. I would add the tweak of Diana taking the paralyzed Dr Poison back to Themyscira so she can be cared for there and so she can talk to Ares more - after all, he is a child of Zeus too and she's never had a brother before. It would help amp up the love and compassion angle (which I felt was rather let down in the film's final confrontation), plus sows some seeds for future sequels - imagine Ares imprisoned within Dr Poison being held in comfort and luxury, within grasp of the very thing he wants most but he simply can't reach it...
Frostfirezero which would provide some great tension between Diana and her mother over whether bringing him there was the right move to make and the mayhem of the inevitable Ares 'jailbreak'.
"Superwoman Ron Weasley" I'm sold
The body jumping idea undercuts the reveal that no matter what she does mankind has the capacity for war.
I did like how they went with her not being the one that saves everyone and tied up Steve Trevor as a story thread overall. in a way that didn't make her look weak and him look like just a tag along. I mean she had her moment after and while rushed it was still okay, but he saved everyone and it actually lent to his character, because it was who he's was projected as the entire movie..
I personally thought that Wonder Woman was an eh/okay movie, but MAN, if all of what Max wanted to add was in it, I’d like it a whole lot- and maybe even love it.
Okay I fucking love this. I really need DC and Marvel to give you their final scripts before they go in to pre-productions to make little edits like this.
Definitely a good alternate ending, and a solution to the somewhat lackluster villain reveal. Sorta leaves out the whole thing about Ares actually not being the cause of wars n shit and that it's just innate evil in the hearts of men but, hey, a toss up between an excellent villain and an interesting theme is dope. Smart as always, Max.
These pitches are always great. Especially when he already really liked the film.
Actually really like this I had an idea that Chris Pine's character not dying and being saved by a Green Lantern ring and transported to Ola would be a great way to introduce the Green Lantern corpse to the dceu
I love you Max! These videos are always fun to watch
This is such a damn good idea. Really well thought-out Max. You put a good spin on a really shitty night for me. Thanks.
This was smart in the way that the final battle in Dr.Strange was smart; It was fun and colorful, but makes you use your brain at least a little bit. More than what most action movies can say (and I love action movies).
Yoooooo that's a great improvement on an already awesome movie! Dig that ending way more.
Max Honestly this is how I wish the movie would have played out. I LOVE the idea of Ares being the manipulation of mans anger and hatred instead of some beatemup' finale. Either way I adored this movie and am very happy you liked it also
I couldn't connect with this movie very much but I'm glad this many people seem to be enjoying it
His hair? cries.
Max, as ever your genius sings to my soul. Thank you! :)
You forgot about the epic animation end credits with the soundtrack banging I WANNA CUT TO THE FEELING OH YEAH
My Aries has a mustache... When he goes body to body the mustache comes with. =P
Spoiler warning!
One thing I would've written differently: NOT having Ares tell WW that she herself is the weapon against him. She would figure it out from the information given to her before.
Like how you will have WW think about the consequences of taken lives who just got tangled up in the mess of war and also that she traps A in Dr P's body, instead of the non sequitur ending we got.
Thanks Max, as usual you have great ideas !
But if I may, Ares is the God of War surrounded by soldiers during WW2, right ?
So, what if Wonder Woman stopped him in a place where war does NOT exist, let's say in a monastery (is it the right word ? a place where monks live) ?
He would have no place to jump to, he would be stuck in a single body.
Or go out of it and destroying everything as a freaking GOD, it works too ^^
Keep going, Max, great job !
isnt there such a moment with her mother (not a friend)? The mother gives her the crown-thingy and goes "you are the best thing, i love you, but you also make me so sad with this decision"... like she is obviously against her wishes, but still goes along with them (kind of what you described for the friend)
* ahem *
The SCOTTISH guy. ;)
Max, love these videos you've done, esp. the DC related ones. Question: As an very amateur-ish future comic book writer, how does one avoid their characters being compared to others? How exactly does one 'write' for comics? I've read so many articles that conflict, some say this or that, but none of them agree on anything.
Wonder Woman is about a character that is a DemiGod, but a human when it matters and John Cena when it matters.
Force Awakens is about a regular girl, that is in JOHN CENA MODE all the time.
What the heck is going on in this world?
Thanks Max.. your ideas are always cool.. I especially liked your idea about Force Awakens when you said that Kylo should have toyed with Rei and Finn and then realize Rei has the force.. Anyway, take care!
I haven't even seen the movie yet but I just enjoy listening to you being passionate about things
I really love the Ares ides but you would miss the moment when Trevor and Diana say their goodbyes, which really motivated her in the end
"El bailarín"
6/6/17
Alonzo had been watching her for sometime from the cantina. The streets were agleam with the sanguine light of the oil lamps, still wet from the rain. It was a warm night and she was dancing the Jaleo de Jerez beneath the almond tree whose branches blushed with clouds of blossom. Every swish of her hand and turn of her ankle was commended by those gathered there on the glowing cobble, music drifting amongst them like draughts of myrhh. When the song ended she said a few words to the guitarist, lit a cigarette and disappeared down the alley.
“My Sofía, she did not dance. Though she was patient and fought fair and when I kissed her hair it smelled of baked bread. She did not dance on our wedding day. But laughed when I twirled her sisters round. That night she cried when the sheets were stained.” His shirt stuck to the back of his chair. Paying the bill, he stammered something graceless to the waiter and started home down the narrow lane.
The moon astonished him, revealing itself behind the long, white sheets rippling from the rooftops as he left the square. He heard the guitar begin to play again. Would she notice he had gone? He doubted it. “Why did I drink rum? I should have known it would spoil my stomach. Whiskey and a little ice, that’s the trick.”
A crew of sailors passed him by, but none of them tipped their caps. Their uniforms were so clean. Alonzo remembered the years he had spent in the Great War. That it was perhaps the only time in his life that he had been content seemed strange to others and stranger even to himself. “War is terrible. But it does prioritize things rather nicely.” He continued down the hill, along the wall of red flowers looming above, tangled in the moonlight like rubies of rose.
On the steps of the church was Sebastián, carrying two candleholders in each hand.
“Alonzo!”
“Sebastián...what have you got there?”
“The Padre asked me to have four more made. So I'm taking them to Granada in the morning.”
“Are they silver?”
“Beautiful, no?”
“The Padre has expensive taste.”
“We should all be so blessed! Won't you come with me?”
“To Granada? What for?”
“If you like, call it a pilgrimage.”
“I've seen the Alhambra. My wife and I went to watch the sun set on those palace walls. A pearl set in emeralds. Or so the poets say...”
“Seems something a man could stand to see twice.”
“Yes, well...stop by before you leave. If I'm keen perhaps I might.”
Sebastián lowered his head, deferring the road to his old friend.
“Rise early. The trip will do you good. Remember, rice that's not stirred will burn.”
“You've been listening to too many sermons.”
They shook on it and went their ways. Alonzo took a few coins from his pocket and held them in his hand. “Not enough for whiskey. Not even enough for ice!” he laughed. Surely there was a bottle left over in his room.
The scent of the sea made his heart flush. He could hear the strays crying on the beach, and the man loved them for it. “I wish that they would come with me. Come with me and keep me up all night! I would spoil them with chops! Roll them on the floor! Like they were my children and I was their Papa.” But they did not follow.
When Alonzo arrived home, he lingered a moment in the doorway. The lights were off and the ice box hummed from the kitchen. He closed his eyes and passed through each room, slowly, deliberately, feeling with his hands and wondering if this was what Death felt like-a half-drunk walk through an unlit house. “What is the dark? Dirt beneath God's fingernail. He raked his hand and wiped his brow and left us there for some reason or another. But why did He did not wash himself clean of us?”
After searching his room, he sat on the foot of the bed. There were cigarettes. He struck a match. There was a little chocolate. He was not hungry. There was no whiskey.
As was his custom, he went to the closet and fingered through the dresses hung on the rod. Then he settled on the chiffon Sofía would wear on la Asunción, arranging it on the bed where she would sleep beside him.
Laying his head upon the pillow, his eyes were caught by the string of stars glinting between the curtains. He was alone. Alone like the dancer beneath the lamps. “She is dancing. And because she dances, she does not know she is alone. She has forgotten. I know that I am alone. The whiskey makes me forget. I remember now. She will not remember me, of that I am certain. I don’t even remember me.” And with that he fell asleep, the stars still shining, the dancer still dancing and the cigarette still burning between his fingers.
“I am like a shoreless sea. Dreams are no longer dreams, between her world and mine.”
When morning came and the town was clearing away the charred walls and the ice box smeared with ash and the still smoldering wood, there Sebastián stood beside his car, hat in hand. Suddenly the road to Granada seemed very long.
I liked this ending more tbh, I also would have liked that ares fed on war , instead of just moving the strings behind it, that way you can show him getting stronger when there is conflict, and weaker when there isnt. similar to the armor he built for that jl animated series episode
I just found out you are doing a video for YMS, I'm so hyped.
Sorry this is unrelated to your video.
The novie really reminded me of DIrk Gently's HDA for some reason
The only thing I would have changed was to keep WW in a silver and gold version of her costume until the end of the film. She dawns the red/white/blue version of the costume after Trevor sacrifices himself as an homage to his ideals and the ideals of good-hearted men and women.
"This one had kids" OMFG why did I laugh so hard at that one?
Max I really envy you, that your fantasy can grow in such exponetial way causing in your mind a movie within the movie giving you countles of ideas to be inspired of (sorry for my grammar)
Your idea has similar end game as "Forever" series had. Personally I would have ended the movie after she kills the general, with the message that you can't save the world, but you must try your best :)
The friendship bit reminds me of Wonder Woman: The True Amazon that came out recently. (I don't like the friendship bit, mostly because because I like Diana to feel othered on the island, as the only Child surrounded by adults as a reason to leave. Which I liked that there's a reference to that in the movie, but it's not really played up.)
Damn, that's a pretty cool ideal. You should adapt it into a WW comic.
I fuckin' love this.
I enjoyed listening to the idea. The body hoping is a fun trick I'd love to see WW or any hero try to solve. Plus I would argue wit over brawn would be better than using words like strong or strength. Too many of us, even writers think a strong character has more to do with a physical attribute, when really it has to do with choices regarding difficulty or obstacle. It's not that she can fight because she has the skill and power, it's how she fights. How smart are her attacks? Max's idea of using the paralyzing gas is a great moment of that type of strength. To know how to fight as opposed to just fighting.
I really want to know how you would introduce the invisible airplane in the sequel?
07:10 Getting some mad Zod vibes from your Superman Returns pitch
probably cut out that "Ron Weasley" character at the beginning, but the rest I would pay to see. I did wish that fight at the end had more to do with the overall theme of the movie, and I think this method would have worked a lot better.
Besides some of the dialogue. This movie was so great
That is great Max. Love your pitches..
David Thewlis is one of my favorite actors and he was great in Wonder Woman. I think it was kind of weird seeing Thewlis in the Ares armor though. I think they should have hid his face once he transformed and insinuate that he is omniscient in the way you're suggesting.
sounds a lot like the movie "fallen" with denzel washington. maybe that's why they didn't go there all the way, but kinda halfway? ♡ wonder woman.
I really enjoyed Wonder Woman, but thought that your ideas were fantastic. I would have loved that movie even more!
...also Ares possessing Steve hearkens back to her realization that she probably couldn't trust Steve after Veld, yet more complexity.
My only gripe w/ this ending Max, Is that they set up something (or someone) being a "god-killer". Walking away from a paralyze Ares won't cut it.
Since Greek gods are more like forces of nature, you wouldn't be able to kill Ares. Trapping Ares into a body would certainly be some sort of reverse Pandora's Box.
Holy Crap Max! Glad you love it! It was Epic to me!!
Body jumping scene sounds fun--but perhaps better for Super Chicks, the second part of the Chronicle extended movie universe!!!
i LOVE the idea that the soldiers she's killing would be directly possessed, that really bothered me in the actual film, because she was kicking their asses shortly after explaining that they were not really at fault, only corrupted by aries.
I'm going to see Wonder Woman now, but I really want to see this Wonder Woman.
Dude! I liked Wonder Woman a lot, and couldn't fathom how they could have improved on it... but, THAT was awesome, and, yea, would have made it even better! You should totally go pitch to WB, and get on the sequel! I'd love to see your take on WW!
He should do a Wonder woman comic pitch just like his Death of Superman pitch.
and then the friend turns out to be cheetah for the next movie
I really wanted Doctor Poison to be Ares
I like this haircut a lot better than the last one
t reminds me of Fallen which was done in a really creepy, sinister way. And is really underrated!
Sick idea. Also trim looks fresh
"I found out about World War I!" -Wonder Woman (written by Max Landis)
Love the concepts in this one.
I thought it would have had much better payoff through the movie if they'd established at the beginning that Steve did not truly believe Ares was responsible for the war but took WW along for the benefit of first, escaping the island and second, using her as a secret weapon when he comes to realize she's a badass (write him more as a strategic man who will do anything to end the war that's practically already taken his life). this creates tension throughout as we know she's being strung along and will eventually realize she's being used in the "bad guys close in" scene before the big battle. Steve of course has now fully realized his feelings for her, admits his love, etc. but she feels betrayed, acts like his love is worthless. this unfinished business, I think, would have made his death much more impactful. I love the idea of Ares moving from body to body and I agree that he should eventually be found in Dr. poison. however, Dr. poison should have been a real villain the whole goddamn movie as opposed to a lil' henchwoman. The gas that gave the general super strength? yeah. should have been a lie she told to feed his ego and should have really been a toxic gas right there to kill him so she could run the whole operation and establish herself as someone to fear early in the film.
No Max, don't give in to the Dark Side!
By the way your fan fiction is predictably 100 times better than the actual movie.
I thought the end should be that she forgives Aries instead of fighting him.
I liked WW too, but I wish they would have given you a crack at the rewrite. Your additions would have been great. Only change to your ending would be WW walks away from the trapped Aeries as she says, " I be waiting". Gives her a terminator-esque one liner and proves she is a woman of action, not of words.
Next up, Max writing a WW comic, American Alien was great so why not ^^
with the friend on the island idea, it could have been Artemis or donna troy
I do the same thing after watching pretty much any movie. I rewrote the ending and a sequel to Trank's FF once because I liked it that much.
Lol.
HOLY SHIT your version is 1000x better than the movie!
That ending would have been SO MUCH BETTER!!!!
Wonder Woman does have a Ron weasels best friend in the comics. Her name is Etta Candy
THIS IS AMAZING!!
It really was a cool movie. So many elements in it. Too me, it wasn't a superhero movie per se. More like a war hero film with quirky banter. Awesome.