Why Narcissists Love to Warp Your Self Image & How to Stop Caring What They Think of You
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024
- FREE 7 DAY TRIAL FOR THRIVERS SCHOOL OF TRANSFORMATION : ATTEND LIVE MEETINGS/GROUP COACHING/EFT SESSIONS/BREATHWORK $79/month after trial ends: www.michelelee...
OCTOBERS THEME: OVERCOME SOCIAL ANXIETY & REAR OF REJECTION
This monthly membership meets live on zoom every week - each month we have a different theme. For the month of August we are learning how to regain balance in the nervous system after narcissistic abuse.
One last thing about the monthly membership - it combines cognitive learning, interactive group support and coaching as well as somatic healing modalities like EFT and Breathwork!! It's the combination of cognitive and somatic healing that helps create lasting change!! There are people from all over the world in this membership from Canada, South Africa, UK, Ireland, Germany, India, Spain and all over the U.S. just to mention a few. Will you join us?
NEW COURSE: REBALANCE NERVOUS SYSTEM AFER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE $49.00: www.michelelee...
FREE I Miss Me & Want Me Back Fillable PDF: www.michelelee...
VIDEO COURSE $49.00: Overcome Trauma Induced Codependency
www.michelelee...
WORKSHOP $25.00: HOW TO PROCESS & RELEASE PAST ANGER AND RESENTMENT
www.michelelee...
☕ If you'd like to show me some love and say thank you for my videos by buying me a coffee, visit my Ko-fi page:
ko-fi.com/mich...
Why Narcissists Love to Destroy Your Self Image & How to Stop Caring About Their View of You
Narcissists love to destroy your view of you, narcissists want you to devalue you just as they have devalued you, narcissists take a person with a healthy self image and warp and twist it to the point that you don't even know who you are anymore, how to love yourself after narcissism, how to rebuild your self image after toxic relationship tries to destroy it
Wow! "When you explain you feel depleted. They don't want to acknowledge your value."They feel fueled. I will always remember! Thank you!
They gain pleasure and joy from putting other people down. They want others to see you in a bad warped light. That is how they feel love.
So true. Even when I was a little girl, I dreaded how my dad would tease and pick at people.
He’s not mellowed in old age.
@@kw8043 research shows that narcissist's only get worse with age.
@@nancywutzke5392 Good grief. Is this true? Thank vid for no contact then
It's so true. Competitors but didn't know that for awhile. I basically don't talk w my family. Never gonna show them the truth. They live in fantasy. Selfish = projection.
Honestly I've been following you for years and you've never let me down. Thanks so much, you're easily one of my favorite RUclipsrs. Every time I start to spiral and second guess, you've put out a video validating my experience without even knowing what I'm personally going through. Just on describing the attributes of the narcissist and the effects it has on their victims. I'm going to share this video so the friends I have in common with an ex and housemates can see it. It describes a lot of what I've been going through and reveals more than I'd care to say about the issue. Thanks again.
Once you know this then their tactics fail. Their words finally mean nothing. No more pain!!
Yes they always imitate! This is such a weird disorder!
Saw it in real time left me always in a state of strangely familiar ,my mother set the path for me, dealing with brain fog. It's all so true ,mind boggling.
Wow, it's freaky how on point this stuff is about my ex. Still trying recover. Sometimes it feels like it's not possible.
Yep this is true! I think they also put you down as a way to stay in control. It’s much easier to control someone who has a low self image, and someone who feels poorly about themselves is less likely to leave. My dad definitely did this. He was always making me think I was incompetent and putting me down because then I’d break down and become vulnerable. So I think that’s definitely a factor in addition to what you said about how they want to bring you down to their level (I.e. misery loves company)
After all research! Only way to better life is self love. Completely non attached, non judgmental, non reactive living with zero expectation. Let go all, surrender to universe is the ultimate
Completely non attached? Explain how one can live like that because I’m curious.
@@sonnyca Everyone religion taught us non- attachment & surrender. Hinduism namaste means “I don’t exist only god exist it is true!”,Buddhism taught “attachment leads to suffering” & extreme renunciation. Islam meaning Surrender, Inshallah meaning “If God wills”, Romans teach “ Stoic Method” .Always say whatever happens happens, what’s going to stay stays, what’s going to leave leaves. Enjoy the moment and surrender 😄🙏🏻
@@VedaRuupini I have been abused over decades by my father who has a history of childhood abuse. There are others who have tortured me like I’m a rag doll. How do I surrender to toxic narcissists and sociopaths who have hurt me and want to have their way with me?? Sometimes surrendering is not an option. I want them to pay for what they’ve done to me. Justice must prevail.
The one thing I find truly sad is how many people are abused by narcissists. How the stories are so similar, from the words and actions of the narcissist, to the damage it causes to the victim. So many stories sound exactly like the narcissist I have been dealing with. Take a woman as beautiful as Michele, we thank God that her inner beauty is just as radiant as her external beauty to help others recover from similar circumstances that she experienced. It's truly a blessing that someone would take their suffering and use that to help others. The myriad of emotions when you finally see the light on what narcissism is and just how damaging it can be. Thank you for these helpful videos....
If all the narcissists were struck down, most of the the mental health issues will be dealt with
Amen
The damage in me recognizes and honors the damage in you.
Namaste
Two of my narcissists have literally asked me why I need to eat and sleep. 🤷🏻♀️😹
omfg! that is just insane!!!! what is wrong with these people (narcs?) I swear! unbelievable!
Yeah, they really think that…it’s weird. I’ve never had one come right out and say it, though.
You helped me soo live in my custody case 3 years ago and I WON I appreciate you so much ❤️❤️
So happy to hear that!!!! I'm so grateful for all the information that everyone is putting out there - narcissists thrive when you are clueless as to what they are doing. Knowledge really is power - congratulations - so happy for you and your family!!!!! Thank you for sharing
Receiving this training in my family of origin I was set up for 1 narrsasistic relationship after the other thereafter.
Grandiose individuals who ended up holding all the relationship "rules" whilst harvesting supply from my self doubt and increasingly diminished self image.
Subtle attacks on the self/image with invalidating comments, shaming - the usual. I ended most of these relationships but I' ve also experienced the discard.
They don't just empty you out, they steal your insides and try to keep you in a state of trying to get them (your self image) back.
This way they hold the narrative, not just on your reality but on your very being.
Let’s agree to disagree is a good statement to stop ✋ the pushback
Thank you Michelle. I am dealing with this from relatives who go out of their way to invalidate everything I say, wrinkle their nose and question everything I do, and set up roadblocks to thwart my progress. They offer me lots of help but it is crippling...it is with many conditions and strings attached and does not allow me to feel like an adult. They refuse to accept any compensation or help from me, nor advice or suggestions. It is like I am worthless.
This has just resonated with me so hard. My dad is like this! Like you described the situation im in right now too a friggin T!
SPOT ON!!!
I notice that the more people talk about how great they are, the more insecure they seem. I notice it mostly in trolls who post negative comments or some youtubers who would say mean comments on videos. It seemed weird a decade ago when I would witness this behavior and looking back on it now it seems like some might be mentally ill or something because it was like they lacked empathy and didn't think about how the other person on the receiving end of the comments would feel or think. The weird thing is if I reply to them in an insulting way, they sometimes take it as a joke or they even get offended when they don't get what they want, whether that is attention, a relationship or whatever. No-one has the time to worry about what the narcissist think of us and we have to spend some time wondering what we think of the narcissists.
After all my research and mistakes, I Ve learn the way to a better life are BOUNDARIES !!!!
They try to project all of their insecurities on you, they have low self-esteem and their always so negative people 👍 up Michelle and survivors and thrivers 🙏
Of all the different videos on narc abuse your videos resonates the most with my experience. Your are a good teacher.
Hi Michele! Gosh, I so long for the day when I will feel whole again and regain my self-esteem! Thank you for giving to us the reassurance that we can become the person we were once upon a time! Thank you so much! 💞🙏🕊
It will come ! I did 👍
Thank you.
The key for me you mentioned is it is only important that we give ourselves permission! What a freeing thought and truth!
Thank you ! ❤🌷
Michelle...you are sweet angel.
I was struggling with this and you helped give support with this video
Thank you :)
Narcissists actually made me explain sleep and food are basic needs
Thank you Michele!🖖🏻
Wow, I needed this. My mom tore me down this weekend. Going no contact. Bless you!
i'm with you. my mom is relentless and so good at doing that too! it's heartbreaking.
@@cindy7733 yes🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I’m with y’all with the Nmom stuff, I feel like I was raised to have low self esteem
@@MD-qk6xf yess so sad
This is great! Thank you so much for sharing. As you spoke I saw my childhood which at moments turned into rage that I quickly controlled. I'm 50 now and still reaching realizations and working it out to be a better human. Thank you again!
Thank God for you. I was about to to give up, when one day I came across one 9f your videos. I had kept myself strong, and tried to not blame myself, for everything thats been going on in the relationship. But by listening to your videos I have learned to fight back with either wise answers, or by ignoring, or by applauding him, everytime he said some things to make me feel like it's always my fault. Thanks again, blessings 🙌🙏❤
What you are saying is so true. It is something we need to hear!!! Thank you!!!
Love your top, Michele. Your videos have been wonderful. He tried to break me down into a woman I never recognized. I’m slowly rising and thriving again. Much love to you 🌸
Do narcs purposely share good news and constantly brag about others in the family in order to make you feel worse about yourself or is it that you already feel so badly about yourself that when they decide to share and brag about others you feel even worse? Ever since I moved back in with my very toxic mother, any time she mentions good things, happy things like upcoming wedding engagements or successful careers of my nieces and nephews I get jealous. I was never like that before. I know my self esteem has plummeted further but I think I"m so jealous because these other people in the family get treated so nicely and I'm the one who gets put down all of the time. It's horrible though. I know I should be happy for my nieces and nephews and siblings but I am just so done with being treated like the bad guy and the unworthy one just because I'm struggling and not rich that I just want to distance myself from everyone, even the people who have nothing to do with the direct abuse.
Yeah. They do it on purpose to make you feel like trash.
I didn’t know any of this while in a relationship with a narc, the damage was life changing, not sure if I’ll ever recover and it’s been 10 1/2 years !!!!
It’s horrific !
Oh my word! Same here!
It'll be 11 years in Dec.
Just feels like it/I am getting worse. Horrific is right!
True thanks Michele mine said I'm an old hag that no one wants to marry he's older than me but that really did hurt me why we seek approval from a person that has no character we are in my belief seeking our missing absent parents love from the narcissistic abuser.
this Video is so important 2 me, every word. cause doing it in reallife isnt easy. i realized the pattern in me but didnt find the right words. thx much Michelle
What would you advise to do for someone else under the control of an abuser, as they seem to have no strength left to leave (and leaving may even be dangerous for family members). How do you help that victim who seems incapable of leaving, or who wants to leave but are afraid
My sister used to take these weird photos of me when I’m not watching and I think it was to put me down and humiliate me..like wtf, it was invasive and embarrassing..my family are sick freak shows..I’m tired of looking like the crazy one when this bizarre shit was going on behind closed doors
Thank you 🙏
You try to explain. We forget they don't listen! Stop explaining!!!
It didn’t make sense that the malignant narcissist ex I divorced was jealous of and in constant competition with my children and I.
Instead of feeling proud ,encouraging ,and supportive of us he was projecting his insecurities weaknesses ,shame ,and vulnerabilities onto us through his merciless berating, belittling, bullying, put downs, vulgar insults and cruel nicknames in order to sabotage and destroy our autonomy,self image, ambitions, self esteem, and drive to give up and not pursue anything
He created social anxiety ,depression, ocd, lack of coping skills, and c-ptsd
I think i have learned to accept that i have always been forced to have to mirror myself (or become selfless and cruel like those who refused to see me) 🙏❤️🩹♥️
How do you mirror yourself? It seems abstract to me.
@@jacksonscully2537 i think i went into pure survival instinct from a very early age, and made it one of my core beliefs that i would resist any reflection that i knew did not match my own truth. Like creating an imaginary, impenetrable shield against any potential deception. ✌️❣️(in hindsight, it was not a simple task) ❤️🩹
So how do I care about myself when nobody, literally not one person in this whole world cares one iota about me. I've been proven all those awful things. I don't know how to care for myself. I have spent all my life taking care of everyone else and now either their chiice or mine, they're all gone. All it took was really one supernarc to to show me how blind I was making myself to be a purposeful person and I literally just stopped talking to the rest of the world. Which to me is and was filled literally with narcissists. I'm a narc magnet. Well no more. The blinders are gone. But now I'm still worthless, not good enough, and don't care about myself. How do I learn to do something like that? I don't have value. How do I find worth? I'm a disabled person, btw, and really had a limited self-view to begin with.
Same here. I have come to conclusion that the only thing that can take me out of this darkness is secure love. Something like that is highly vilified because of the belief that codependency is somehow a bad idea. But I can’t lie to myself. World feels dangerous without protection from a dear one. Ironically, just recently I learned I was mentally disabled all my life because of my nparents.
the distinction is that they purposely pick good people and treat them badly. Each time they feel worthless, they attack the good person. If the good person takes it, then that reassures them that they are so "valuable" that this good person puts up with this behavior. But, eventually as the valuable person continues to take the abuse, this devalues the person in the eyes of the narcissist to the point that the victim's unconditional love an acceptance become less and less valuable. So, they treat the person worse and worse trying to recapture the elusive supply that they once received. Don't accept bad behavior and make it clear that you will leave the relationship at the first sign of this behavior. It will continue and you will leave. Or, they will leave because they cannot manipulate and control this particular valuable person. If Joe Shit the Ragman takes the narcissist's abuse, what does that say about the narcissist? Nothing. But, if a valuable loving person takes it, it says to the narcissist that they are so valuable that this good person loves them even if they are cruel and mean. I must be valuable otherwise, you wouldn't be taking my crap.
Michelle.. in my situation it's almost as if he tried to create me into being a monster that he was in my image and then he has stolen the true image of me. Do you see that happening? We have divorced And now he has created this whole story of me in his own mind and in how he speaks of me to others. I believe that he repeats the story presenting me as he was and presenting himself as I was. It's so very confusing. I don't want to try to understand it. We have occasional contact because of his children who are very important to me. And he continues to remind me exactly how he has stolen my personality and reflects his upon me. Im almost all the way healed now.. just concerned.. is it likely that he may do some sort of further sabotage now that he sees that im back to my whole self?
My mother always one ups someone or the other to feel good about her ugly self, ugly from within.
They also try and convince you that everyone else feels or will feel the same way the they do because they have a god complex. They make you believe that you can never make friends to that they can trap you around their misery to feel good about themselves as a parasite.
I would always notice that strangers and friends would adore me and I would question it with my imposter syndrome and my narcissist mother would say I was being “fake” because she could never keep friends or even her own siblings with her god complex
So True! Competitors.
So much of this sounds spot on. Do you think that marriage counseling with a narcissist would be helpful at all?
Nope !
They are never wrong, they are the only ones who know anything or can do anything, they are above you, they will turn the therapist AGAINST you !!!
They are masters of manipulation and deception !!!
Na mate, they see it as the counselling is for the sake of you, they have come for the ride to "help you with your problems" and that they are supporting you, they think they are "doing you a favour by being there".
@@keaneullathorne1665 Interesting you said that because she wanted me to go to therapy first to work on me. I have and my therapist said I'm not the problem but I don't want to give up either.
Justin Fazio Maybe check out these additional RUclips pages and see if they help you understand and be able to deal/cope with things better - Surviving Narcissim or Jonathan Noble Esquire too. Good luck mate
No. Therapy only works when the student realises the teacher needs to appear. Narcs would never allow for such exposure
I often felt like my mother was tearing me down so that she could comfort herself in her own mind by telling herself that she may not be perfect but at least she wasn't as horrible as me.
Divorce works. Sure, she gets the kids, the house, and half your pay for the rest of your life. But, you don't have to care what she thinks of you anymore. You will be too busy worried about where you next meal comes from.
Their opinion of you
doesn’t make it true
Hey can you please please make a video about toxic positivity please mam I want to understand it more.
🙌🏼
Please can you make a video on how to choose a CAREER I don't know myself I don't know what I wanna do it's very imp for NC but don't know we're to start.
🌹🌹🌹😍😍😍💘💘💘💘
Control