Black women can’t be introverted at work. We will be considered angry or stuck up. Eventually you’ll be fired. You must be likable and show up for all of the cat stories. You have to tap dance at work to win! 🏆
I am an introverted black woman. I know for a fact that a lot of people where I currently work do not like me. I am also a hard worker and never late for work. I want to protect my peace by staying out of drama, working hard, collecting that check, and going home. I already have friends outside of work. A lot of times, regardless of race, people want to drag you into drama because they feel threatened and need to know at all times what you are up to. They want to collect information to "squash the competition".
Depends on your field and state. Working construction in MD, I was totaling in my element. Moved to NC and the white women were covert haters and clearly felt threatened.
It's always the unattractive females who are in positions of power and they purposely attack the attractive females. Im so tired of these insecure females
@@kokoniquefulI’m in the first state you mentioned and yt ladies will still try you if they feel threaten by your presence. MD is just a friendlier state. But the exception doesn’t override the rule
They want BW to be their entertainment, whether its giving them details of our personal lives, always concerned about my hair, trying to track me all day, sometimes I just need to come to work do my work and go home. I was reported to HR by white female co-worker for being too quite , I was told my quietness was hostile and aggressive.
I get this all the time. I call it them wanting us to be their show pony or Jester the 🤡 Why does it bother anyone how talkative a person isn’t? To me that’s definitely picking at you. What does that have to do with the actual work?!
They’re stressing me out virtually two. I’m on a project with this white women who is leaving me out of meetings and I felt like she did it on purpose.
I am quiet and likeable in the workplace and refuse to allow others to dictate how I show up at work. I’m working now for 40 years, an executive in a white majority organization….I also refuse to “perform” to make whyte folks happy and entertained. I don’t know any angry black women, and didn’t even know about this until working for 30 years, but if I did know any angry black women, what’s wrong with them being angry?? Everyone else can be angry, except black women?? I’m done!
I agree with everything you have written. And for me, I do not know any angry black women either. I know passionate go-getters in the corporate space who want to be successful....period. I will not allow the powers that be to put me in a box. I have done in toxic work environments and got played for being super nice. I'm going to be myself at all times and of xyz organization doesn't like it...that isn't the place for me.
This is 100% accurate. I have over 25 years of experience. I started a new job, and the direct manager was a black man. Well, on my first day, he wasn't there, so the director came to greet me. From thaf day, this white lady would stare at me, look me up/down every single day. Then she started complimenting my clothes, shoes and hair. She would frequently come check on me because I asked for very little assistance. I knew the job! White girls all around me... asking me questions, even personal questions. One of them went to the white female director and told her, that I made her feel uncomfortable because I was asking her questions about her personal business. Wtf??? Straight lied! The director believed her. I went to HR, big mistake. The director of HR, was for real racist and told me "so what" to my complaint. She turned around and called my director to tell her that I complained on her and the other white coworker, and from that moment, I had a target on my back. If two or three black people were seen talking or having lunch together, it was a problem. The stares, the looks we got. However, when there were 5,6,7,8 or more white standing around talking, in the breakroom or such, it was never a problem. Never! Luckily Covid hit very very shortly afterwards and I was furloughed then of course laid off. It was a blessing in disguise. One of the best times of my life, being laid off at that time. God definitely intervened on my behalf and compensated quite well for their BS!!!
@beemonique8466 I see you and I know you are not just speaking "your" truth. You are speaking "the" truth. WW know it, too. Keep your head up and keep being yourself. BW need to hear from you. WW need to learn from you instead of being envious and fearful.
@@chinaarlene7035 Stalking? Ew. I only made a few replies madam. Maybe my replies are vexxing your evil spirit with the truth so you just notice them more. I have never dated nor desired to date y'all. You're childish and illogical reply is one of those reasons. Can you respond with any facts or logic instead of gaslighting and emoticons like a child?
It's true for many, many, many Black women @starwoodanime1532. But most BW don't succumb to the nonsense, and that is truly uplifting. BW know the score and still move forward understanding that they are not lacking. Others are simply insecure, jealous, fearful, or whatever, and unjustifiably so. My hope is that these W women who are misguided will open up their self-centered minds and understand that BW are their equal and must be allowed to have their personalities as long as they are not rude or hurtful to others. The workplace will become more harmonious and productive when this happens. WW need to see this video.
@@Joshua-eo5hrwhy would you think they are lying?! You are not a blk woman and have no idea what they experienced. If you are uncomfortable with the conversation then just say that but to call someone a liar is wrong.
There it is, love! PRECISELY! Dr. Carolyn Anderson (author of White Rage) speaks about how rage-filled the racists whites become when see/interact with Black Americans who are consistently top performers. It's the VERY competent, industrious, driven/ambitious/aspirational Black people that outshine them (without even trying!) that makes them feel utterly insecure and that really pisses them off. And, yes, just as you've said, if the Black person is also good-looking, fit, graceful/elegant, an eloquent speaker and always well dressed (simply because they naturally have a good sense of style), they absolutely lose their shite! I've experienced SO much workplace harassment and retaliation because I am a confident, kind, courteous, focused, no-nonsense top-performer who has always minded her own business. I've called out owners, management and hr puppets when they engage in their attempts gaslight me. I have clearly let them know, practically spelling it out for them: "I know what you're trying to do and it isn't going to work. You can never try to make me doubt my work/contribution or my worth. NO ONE can EVER make me feel bad about ANYTHING that I do or don't do. I recommend that you stop trying so hard, it WILL NOT work." They can and do fire me for not kissing ass, but they'll NEVER make me into someone who feels inferior to ANYone. I am a conscientious, loving, self-contained, self-aware individual with a truly good/honorable moral compass. I play no games and if I decide to work for a company, they are truly fortunate to have me on board as I treat people with kindness and respect (until they've disregarded my kindness or shown me any disrespect) and love doing EXCELLENT work (no matter the task).
As a black woman working in a predominantly white corporate environment, I’ve found a balance to be my true self and still be professional. I’ve experienced prejudice and racist attitudes in my over twenty five year career, but I refused to be treated like I don’t deserve to be where I am. I’m just as smart, I’m just as attentive, organized and will speak up if things are wrong. I love to see other black women in my industry and level. Keep this conversation going!!
People want us to be mammys or we’re the villain. They want to know know what we’re thinking at all times and if we’re not thinking what they want us to think, big problem.
Exactly. I've been told so many times I'm unreadable. But I'm a high performer and analytical, so these "problems" with us are typically manufactured for a reason, unless someone is acting openly hostile. But I have rarely seen that be the case unless they have never been in a corporate environment.
No they want you to not be loud, rude, self-absorbed narcissists. Y'all are the only group on the planet that think you're above reproach or correction, yet y'all are the top group that is in dire need of reproach and correction.
You lack self awareness if you think being friendly and socialable is being a mammy. I’ve seen black women who are social and friendly be treated poorly by black women who were not.
I’ll be honest. It’s not really a racial thing for me. It’s more so gender. I can’t stand female execs and middle managers. I hate to say this, but I’ve found, where I’m from, that women who are in positions of power, tend to stroke tensions in the workplace and are extremely disagreeable to other women. If you’re a black female employee, it’s worse for you. I went through it. Intelligent, enthusiastic, physically attractive (face and body), educated, articulate, authentic and can speak other languages and other talents and they made me a target from day 1. I just didn’t see their manifestation until 2-3 months in my job. Male execs/managers can be mean too, but from my experience they’ve often been super helpful to me, my journey, development and given excellent advice.
Melissa's body language, the tone of her voice and her overall demeanor, would give me pause to work with her or for her. That may be a successful entrepreneur persona, but that would not allow for employee retention. All the other ladies on the panel exuded calmness and were at ease when they spoke. They didn't need Melissa on that panel. She did nothing to dispell the angry black woman stereotype.
Melissa excuded calmness as well. You're just delusional and Can't stand when Another Black person holds Black People Accountable and Doesn't Sugarcoat the fact that Their Experiences Working with Black People Weren't Always Great.
@@BellaKayeLLard For you to talk negatively about Another Black Woman's appearance simply because she said something you don't Agree With is PROOF that you Fit the Stereotype of the typical Shady and Sassy type of Black Person.
I just feel like they want us to tell all our business so they know what we are thinking. I am so glad that I work alone now and don't have to deal with all the work drama. I have been the likable and cooperative person and was fired twice. I do my job now, stay quiet and mind my business. You cannot please people whether you are nice or not.
As a professional black woman for almost 30 years, I can acknowledge racism, including a double standard when it comes to reactions in certain situations. However, I can also acknowledge that some of the most unfriendly and belligerent people I’ve encountered are unfortunately my black sisters. Everything is not about race. Just saying🤷🏾♀️
Yes. I’m a BW too and I have come across some mean sisters for no reason at work. Stank facing you when you say hello. Lol. I just take note and keep it moving. Women compete in every race because of whatever but as a BW I do take offense when it comes from another sister b/c we have enough issues. But it is what it is.
This comment speaks to the topic. Black women are called out for being mean/not likeable at work. But ppl of all races are 🍑 holes. But only Black women get the stereotype.
I'm a Gen Z and VERY hard working, and I'm not the only one. I understand she had bad experiences with the under 30s, but that's what EVERY older generation says about the young ones. So it's less of a generation issue and more of an immaturity / maturity issue. cause that's not fair, to paint everyone with the same brush
Lil' Queenie, you needn't explain yourself to someone who will look at your body and make assumptions. This is hard work and its one battle you cannot win AT ALL . I am a gen above you and i had been there in the past with the gen prior . i invested 5 years trying to be coolest guy ever and it just does not work because if someone hates your ass you could be wearing a crown they'd still hate you
If you are a Black woman in the corp do not befriend co-workers on socisl media or give too much info on your time away from work. They see you as competition and will use anything to sabotage you.
Melissa did NOT need to be on this board. She’s coming off as hostile and pretentious. “I’ve been a business owner for over 20 years….. ok…. ?” Like ok????
@bobbybrown-nr6ju... Their decision to be "obsessed with their phones" is their decision. It just is not a good job trait (no matter WHAT the color). I'd encourage anyone obsessed with their phone (regardless of age) to work for themselves.
Even if you dress classy, talk and walk just as they do, have a phd, etc. I’ve seen how disrespectful and audacious people who hate blk women can be… My Texan black science teacher in a high level class was still disrespected by the whyte and Asian students in my class. I was surprised. She didn’t speak in Ebonics, her hair was relaxed, and she was always kind (not falling into a “stereotype”) yet they still disrespected her and had the audacity to be rude. In my academically competitive school I noticed the black women would be more disrespected than the blk male teachers. The blk male teachers were better accepted and respected. I had a black retired veteran as a teacher for a few years and she was stern. People were scared of her to some extent but she really liked me and care a lot about all of the students. She was soft on the inside. But if she was soft on the outside and “feminine and friendly” best believe they would treat her like trash. They only respected her when she was military mean!
I’m quite invested in this topic and have experiences for days. Staying in your own lane in the workplace translates to not being a good culture fit. I’m not hired for my skills and contributions, I’m simply put in a position that limits my potential and growth. Seeking for what you deserve is then seen as an attack, entitlement, or the scapegoat which is being called angry/combative for standing your ground and having a moral code. Other BW in the workplace, as disheartening as it is to say this, aren’t any better. My opinion: because they have been in an environment that entertains this for far too long. They lose sight of what it means to develop their younger peers because of fear in the workplace, perhaps they will be replaced, a competitive mindset comes into play to tear each other apart, and then a disingenuous character is then displayed, making the introvert in the situation, look like the villain. The workplace doesn’t want to do the work to understand diverse cultures or backgrounds, they just want you to fall in line and if you don’t, implicit bias exists.
Yes some blk folk are hired to be overseers for other blk employees… heard of this phenomenon. They’ll hate you for no reason other than to secure their jobs and please their overlords..
I feel like this itself is apart of the problem. She could NOT be like that at all. But imagine Melissa as your co worker. You'd probably still see her this way due to her demeanor and she'd be thinking ppl see her as angry although she don't see herself that way. It's hard to explain it. But your comment is literally the point of this topic.
@@itsnotmeitsyou717 hm this is true but on the other hand we actually have context to what she is saying. The question was something along the lines of “are black women problematic in the work place”? Melissa answered yes with the quickness. The problem is clearly cyclical. It’s very clear that Melissa is pretty self hating and lacks self reflection
I think Black people in general just need to learn how to value and respect each other and have a code of conduct, you see it among other racial groups in the workplace.
LaVerne, soooo true. reciprocal respect brings peace. I have had to use my fists to prove a point twice over the past 8 years bc its sooo many Ninjas that fail the diplomatic test and encroach invisible territories . I have male cousins i know outside family functions i do not want them in my spaces. My kids do not need to see that sheit.
I think an underlying issue I noticed during this discussion is the bias against newly emerging members of the workforce. I understand the generalization, because social media and technology addiction has unarguably affected many young people, but this mindset makes being taken seriously as a young professional difficult to navigate. I wish this could have been more of a conversation on the original topic of likability of black women in the workplace. It was lovely to see a panel of successful women of color, it would have been amazing if the discussion was more constructive. Like another person noted, there’s way too much to unpack with a topic like this in such a short amount of time.
It’s women in general. I’ve worked w/ both. Some are just catty, hella emotional and miserable so it exudes in the workplace🤷🏽♀️I’ve seen major decisions made over emotions vs logic w/ both races of women in leadership.
Never had an issue with BW in the workplace until I became a manager. The disrespect I've experienced from BW would never be the same for a wyte manager.
WW are working in the background to give you issues. BW, in my experience, will deal with things head on. WW will collude and get you into something that leaves you looking like a BIG DUMMY
@@FeliciaQueen17 with full respect. Even their own black colleagues have stated other managers that were wyte were not treated this way. This was black people telling me this
Good God you are so right. Nobody disrespects you as a manager no matter how polite and professional you are like a black woman. Theyll let white managers talk to them like massa
This is so true, I work with the white woman manager, and her kurt attitude is seen as authoritative and it’s respected. If I acted like that or anytime I request something with sternness due to urgency, you’d think I’d killed somebody the looks that I get. It’s a tragedy because black women end up having to delegate every ounce of emotion, because our emotions are perceived as negative right off the back, whether it’s a positive emotion, people might see us as sneaky or fake, or when we are directing folks, our tone can be misconstrued, because people already have an idea of who they think we are. They have no idea.
I noticed this with multiple black women teachers. They were given so much more disrespect even when they were so sweet. Blk male teachers were respected more
I’m sure during the recruitment process you never let your prospective employer know that you were not a team player. Maybe you should so they can decide to hire you or not.
especially in retail. Managers want you to cater to entitled customers and fold on your principles. If sale is going on they want to you to adjust prices to make the customer's day.
I am. Black woman and I have worked in many roles with my sisters and have had wonderful experiences fewer times than those who are rude , don’t understand what customer service means and don’t even treat their own people like they want to be treated. Poor work ethic, no sense of urgency and quick to say that’s not my job. Many are afraid that they might go above and beyond. I tip my hat to those who are hard workers, genuinely care about putting their best foot forward and work well with others because there are many like that, but the majority of my experiences have been the un coachable with bad attitudes.
Respectfully asking: Why aren't the interviews about/for- Black Women, longer? It's like trying to fit every topic/possible critiques/needed lessons/etc- into seconds. Yet -the "other communities or female impersonators" -get extended interviews/microphone time. Again, respectfully asking: Why have a WW on stage addressing BW, related topics? Were there no other "qualified/with likability" BW -for the spot? I mean yes, she swirls and has biracial kids-but does that qualify her, for what the real message is? I get the message "we need" money to thrive. Yet, I wonder what will be the end outcome- of denying skin folk, etc--cause we want MORE $$. & it's still never enough & still don't get the respect, that we feel we deserve. But, hey as long as the others "pretend" better- give them their flowers/jobs/respect, right?
@@necessaryevil5001 ikr. It's good to see/hear the Sisterhood. It's always a message in the little things. It just bothers me- when they ask -non black women & bm- to speak on, how life is- as a Black Woman. They never ask- the Blacks to speak for the life/work experiences of other races/genders. Only ours. Why?
Because blk men did not build for their communities and I'm convinced that they generally don't respect and value bw anyway. And I think a good question is - if bm disappeared tomorrow, who would continue to meet your needs? What supermarket, gas station, hospital, gym do they own? Truth be told, the great majority of angry bw - the ones that actually are angry - are angry because they deal with bm and are overwhelmingly raising his kids alone. I guess I would be angry too. No woman should ever have to be a mother AND a father.
UNFORTUNATELY, this does not only apply to BLACK WOMEN. I am a BLACK MALE and I have the same experience you have to be likable to get and keep the job. People want to work with people they like. I have colleagues from grad school who I know their capabilities. I have done group projects with them and they rarely get hired based on competence alone. it's about that personality quotient. It also applies to other races, especially in the interview process. Now, let's talk about some black women. Some are downright rude and scary people in the workplace, especially in customer service but I think men in charge do a lot of messed up evil stuff behind the scenes and get away with it but smile in your face. But some black women definitely have an attitude problem it's about self-awareness really.
Butt kisser, 'yes man' . Going along with everything other people say. Constantly talking and gossiping about others. In my experience, I could not be to myself on jobs. my personality went against me when time for raises . Mingling with coworkers during lunch and after work has nothing to do with my job 🤷♀️
Y'all are the only group of people that think it's your right to be loud, rude, crass, unprofessional, and everybody has to deal with it and not say anything. But y'all can judge and critique everybody else at will.
If you come to work and do your work with kindness....what would be your drama? You grow into being good at your job when you focus on working and knowing how to do it. Being likeable means you know that work is about agreeability and progress!
The darker our skin though, we get treated differently until we put our foot down. It's bad enough that I've been bullied and mistreated by my own black people but get on these jobs and be mistreated as well by others it's not going to fly!
Our careers and lives struggle based on the perception and opportunities provided by others in higher levels of privilege. Black women are at the very bottom of the totem pole.
@@tiredoftheworld4834 not if you’re truly and genuinely being authentic to ‘you’. The ones for you will support you. You can try to please everyone, but even the ones who try to please everyone, still can’t satisfy them ALL.
I have worked in both public and private sector and I feel unless BW are running their own business, the best environment to be their true selves is the public sector (state/ local jobs) where they won’t get checked for having a supposed attitude. In the private sector, black women don’t have the luxury to be their true self, leading to workplace stress or just leaving in general
That's where most of us HAVE the worst attitudes, in the private sector as business owners. Many let the power go their heads as "boss ladies", not knowing how to talk to their employees and even clients or customers - but, especially in the PUBLIC SECTOR, working around the public (post office, Secretary of State's office, public school teachers, even bus drivers).But having worked in the private sector AS a black woman, I have found other black women are indeed, their "authentic selves" - rude, full of attitude, short tempered and easily agitated when dealing with the public. At Portillos/Barnelli's Food Court, I was the one calling out the orders over the loud speaker and giving the customers their food and was always pleasant, which is why the managers always had me do this job : "Barnelli's customer # 102, your order is now ready. Please step over to the counter". I smiled and thanked them cheerfully. Another black woman I worked with told me she couldn't be as "cheery" as me and she hated when the managers called her to do the order calling and requested working in the back as the dishwasher, away from the public. We black women may be "expected" to act a certain way, but we give in to the stereotype, almost everytime.
I've had to fight ALLLLLLL my life! I just had to fight my boss this morning for trying to mess over my money. I called in the union and HR! Needless to say, my boss got to back pedaling. No, I'm not liked, but I'm richer. 💪🏾
The female with the angry bird eyes seems to be the problem, I wouldn’t sign up to work at any of her companies. She appears to have the attitude and would only attract others to do the same. Just my observation on her wordiness and body language throughout the interview. The one sitting 2 seats away from👀👀
But this being a professional space, why isn't his choice of words more professional? Why use the words ' damn' and 'ass'? Idk about likability, but i do know that no form of bullying should be tolerated.
Black People Can't Stand When Other Black People Tell the Truth about the horrors and difficulties of working with other Black People. So Quick to Gaslight and Say they're Anti-Black. Black People Can Dish Out Criticism But CAN'T TAKE IT. Other Women on the Panel Had Some great Points, ESPECIALLY about Not being Allowed to be Quiet and Introverted in White Workspaces as a Black Woman....But I would also Argue that you Can't be a Quiet and Reserved Black Person in Black Work spaces EITHER.
I’ve learned that black people who grew up in black neighborhoods don’t see a problem, black people who grew up in more diverse communities definitely see the problem.
Enjoying peace and quiet. When I show up I show up to work. I had to set boundaries because when you work hard and you’re tired at the end of the day why are people worry about you setting your boundaries.
I hate when people say I am a business own and I dont know what it is like to work for anybody.... They have to kiss more ass than anyone to stay in business and teach employees how to suck up to customers....
I have worked in many settings and some of these settings were extremely toxic. I have experienced a lot of microagressions, racism coming from both males and females and there was a hierarchy class in the work place...so much that it became political. I am an introvert. I am talking to people all day..i get paid to do that but it doesn i want tonbe psrt of the nonsense that goes on at work. Some supervisors are rude, disrespectful and entitled. Some places think that you have to kiss their behind in order to get promoted and I've seen this happens all the time with my current job.
Yes there is differ standard for black women in white spaces. Professionally dressed and conservative in actions still judged harshly if skin is toned color. I could tell some upsetting & unfair things happened to me due to skin color despite experience, earning PhD in healthcare work spaces and a pleasant person.
Thank you to everyone who participated on this panel today, and thank you for speaking out about it. As a black woman in the workplace we need forms like these to keep and help those be culturally competent when it comes to us in the workplace and not only us but those from all backgrounds as well. You have to keep in mind that we are now in a generation that all races are working together more than ever seen before in America history. As we all know this didn’t happen 50 years ago. So to be honest, you kinda have to expect some ignorance when it comes to different cultures and being relatable etc… Unfortunately, this is why we need real talks like this so everyone can be properly educated on culturally competent relatable topics and issues. Not only for us as blacks but all cultures to be fair in general.
It's a lot of stereotyping in this video. It works both ways. I'm 28 and have had bad experience with older black women but also have had good experiences. When i was 22 in my internship a middle aged black woman kept referring to me as "little girl" and kept passing on her work to me. Who is really lazy? Completely inappropriate. Women as a whole need to do better towards each other at work.
Just do your job good that’s all you need to do There are laws in place to keep everyone safe The key is don’t be a problem person in the workplace Everyone goes into work with a mask on
Hmmm... the problem with this show is that it is so one-sided. I remember the segment when the black woman falsely accused black men of not assisting her when she said she was hit in the face with a brick. There is this over protection of black women who do wrong in the work place and private society. Some black women at the work place are in the news for the wrong reasons; Tiffany Henyard, Fani Willis, Latoya Cantrell, Zina Morgan, Katrina Brown, Regina Hill, Tracie Hunter, Leticia Astacio, Christina Peterson, the three black female founders of BLM, Robin Conner, Erica Norris, Martina Pickett, Sonya Mckinght, Kim Viverette, Natalie Hall, Shekinah "Jo" Anderson, Maxine McManaman, Wanda Smith, Janay White, Barbara Furlow-Smiles, Veronica Shaw, Kesia Lemoine, Bettye Ligon, Serena Caldwell, Ericka Jones, and etc... these are current stories in the news involving black women at the workplace. Before we point the fingers at others lets make sure we have our house in order. As far as blaming Hollywood for creating the "angry black women" role blame the black women who continue to accept and play these roles. To everyone please check out the great 🎥 movie "Hollywood Shuffle" 1987. It has a solution for blacks who keep accepting low selfesteem roles like; slave, gang member, prostitute, and etc... We need less victimization and more victories in the black community.
Why would anyone want to come to work and deal with a condescending nutcase just because they can do the job, yes, attitude goes a long way no problem with that.
They’re in different business environments so it varies. The business owner person in the sales environment I agree that your people being likable is valuable and it helps I’m in sales myself. And I agree with the other people as well. The business owner should be likable as well if that’s the environment we in. Maybe those bw didn’t like u and felt u are not likable. Are u coachable? Cause alot of managers and owners that are not coachable. and alot of business owners and managers are not likable and non coachable themselves so that effects your success and mine. You gotta know how to talk to people of all ages and all generations especially if u are a business owner or manager but u probably won’t receive none of this wisdom
My experience has been similar to the business owner, Melissa Wilson, Real Estate Developer. Although, I agree that this is a gen Z culture as stated by Bevin Bigger. I think being likeable is important. There is better energy when the atmosphere is calm, and everyone has the ability to manage self and work well with others. We definitely need to guide and lead the younger generation because there is a need for positive comradery to take place to succeed in a workplace and to improve the business image.
Interesting. I’m blk & I hire ppl and I always look for someone who is a good fit meaning not only can they do the job, but I like them. Who would want to be around someone for 8 hours a day who off general meeting is not likable🤷🏽♀️ I go to work, secure the bag and leave. I play the game. They dont need to know what i think and feel. Get the Money!
Ive been on both sides as a black woman...many people have issues..Im looking for qualifications and who is more self-aware, and more working towards fixing their issues..what do they have to offer to industry and can u be taught & are you evolving....if thts not happening Im not hiring you...not everyone is outgoing, not everyone is introverted...bc I dont want to be looking for someone else in 6 months..
Who in their right mind would hire someone to work with them that they don’t like and that they believe others may also dislike??? Do you go to stores that you don’t like? Do you get your hair done by people you dislike? Do you get your taxes done by someone you don’t like? Who in the world chooses to do business with ANYONE that they dislike? This is stupid.
Women in general typically work in service industries therefore, customer service and likeable, friendly, personality comes with the job of dealing with customers.
Of course one has to have good interpersonal skills, HOWEVER...you can be damned near a saint, BUT if you're a top performer and are always killing it in sales and you have colleagues who are also in sales and they see you as competition/a threat, you WILL have haters...THEY will not like you. And they can be very VILE and detrimental to your health if you stay in that environment for long. (especially if you're the only female amongst males with easily bruised egos).
That "upset" thing happened yesterday when I actually was NOT upset about anything! It's like...they want you to be in constant entertainment mode. The minute you're focused & not overly chatty...then, here they go with that "Are you upset?" nonsense.
Going to watch but interestingly based on the thumbnail “avoiding the angry black women stereotype” seems as though they need to challenge the majority who may present these prejudgments rather on the minority making the onus on them.
❤❤❤ THIS 100%. They are always expecting Black folks, esp women to fall in line and assimilate to their one-sided expectations rather than examine their own stereotypes and biases. And it's obviously so they don't have to and can keep moving the goalposts.
Money before integrity… I know this person is a ….., but they gonna make me some $$$. Well, you heard it, disagreeableness and $$$ are the goals. Attitude and morals, not so much…
One of my colleagues puts on earphones even if she is not playing music so she can get peace and quiet so it doesn't seem she is being "moody". But more so than ever she gets picked on for been quiet and withdrawn yet she is the kindest and most approachable.
Judge people as an individual, you can’t say all. There have been bw I worked with that I absolutely loved and was real cool with. Like my mom/auntie/big sister/homie. And then I be worked with some bw that I absolutely despised, I mean they embodied every negative stereotype.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
Black women can’t be introverted at work. We will be considered angry or stuck up. Eventually you’ll be fired. You must be likable and show up for all of the cat stories. You have to tap dance at work to win! 🏆
lol the cat/dog stories are so annoying🙃😂
Huh? I don't see this at all
@@Joshua-eo5hr maybe you don't have access to all workspaces in America. ❤
@@HolisticManifesting or maybe you guys are making up crap to feel like victims
@@Joshua-eo5hr yt people see nothing
Professional Black women are not allowed to be introverts.
@@In.love.with.stephanie I agree.
Definitely agree.
Agree 💯,
On top of often having to chase/pursue them to be “included” & making sure they are comfortable around you. It’s EXHAUSTING.
IKR.
@commonuser-2554💯
I am an introverted black woman. I know for a fact that a lot of people where I currently work do not like me. I am also a hard worker and never late for work. I want to protect my peace by staying out of drama, working hard, collecting that check, and going home. I already have friends outside of work. A lot of times, regardless of race, people want to drag you into drama because they feel threatened and need to know at all times what you are up to. They want to collect information to "squash the competition".
And sometimes people just wanna be friends with you at work. Why would you turn your back on that?
@@Xanduurno o e is entitled to anyone please have several seats
@@Xanduur We don't get promoted by being friends with you guys at work.
We get betrayed.
@@Xanduur If making a diverse group of friends is important to you, then you’ll have them outside of the workplace.
Angela is on the right track... Likability is really becoming more of "we need you to be agreeable."
Yes. I hate this!
Yes thts it right there
Obviously. The more disagreeable you are. The more annoying it is to hang out with you.
I’m not likeable but I like myself & I hate working 😂 no one’s perfect.
@@joeydiaz5927 are you a black woman? I seriously doubt it, so this conversation is not for you.
attractive black women aren't liked from day 1
Starts with jealous mama.
This is FACTS!
Depends on your field and state. Working construction in MD, I was totaling in my element. Moved to NC and the white women were covert haters and clearly felt threatened.
It's always the unattractive females who are in positions of power and they purposely attack the attractive females. Im so tired of these insecure females
@@kokoniquefulI’m in the first state you mentioned and yt ladies will still try you if they feel threaten by your presence. MD is just a friendlier state. But the exception doesn’t override the rule
They want BW to be their entertainment, whether its giving them details of our personal lives, always concerned about my hair, trying to track me all day, sometimes I just need to come to work do my work and go home. I was reported to HR by white female co-worker for being too quite , I was told my quietness was hostile and aggressive.
Is this for real?They think Black women is suppose to be office clown?Black women probably cannot be allies with other non Black woman
That is so damn annoying!!
Yup! Had a White boss tell me I was “aloof” because I was very quiet, kept to myself and did my work.
I get this all the time. I call it them wanting us to be their show pony or Jester the 🤡 Why does it bother anyone how talkative a person isn’t? To me that’s definitely picking at you. What does that have to do with the actual work?!
Yep
Story of my life, black women start finding remote positions, we deserve peace
This is what I yearn for now😢
They’re stressing me out virtually two. I’m on a project with this white women who is leaving me out of meetings and I felt like she did it on purpose.
Or start your own business.
@SugaRumBrown stop having attitudes
I am quiet and likeable in the workplace and refuse to allow others to dictate how I show up at work. I’m working now for 40 years, an executive in a white majority organization….I also refuse to “perform” to make whyte folks happy and entertained. I don’t know any angry black women, and didn’t even know about this until working for 30 years, but if I did know any angry black women, what’s wrong with them being angry?? Everyone else can be angry, except black women?? I’m done!
If a whyte person working at a black majority organization complains, they will be called a racist. Therefore, your statement is racist. God bless.
I agree with everything you have written. And for me, I do not know any angry black women either. I know passionate go-getters in the corporate space who want to be successful....period. I will not allow the powers that be to put me in a box. I have done in toxic work environments and got played for being super nice. I'm going to be myself at all times and of xyz organization doesn't like it...that isn't the place for me.
You said a whole bunch of nothing 😂
Your line if you’ve never met an angry black woman. Either that or you’re in a bubble
@@joeydiaz5927 Or maybe I know well adjusted women who know how to manage their emotions?
This is 100% accurate. I have over 25 years of experience.
I started a new job, and the direct manager was a black man. Well, on my first day, he wasn't there, so the director came to greet me. From thaf day, this white lady would stare at me, look me up/down every single day. Then she started complimenting my clothes, shoes and hair. She would frequently come check on me because I asked for very little assistance. I knew the job!
White girls all around me... asking me questions, even personal questions. One of them went to the white female director and told her, that I made her feel uncomfortable because I was asking her questions about her personal business. Wtf??? Straight lied!
The director believed her. I went to HR, big mistake. The director of HR, was for real racist and told me "so what" to my complaint. She turned around and called my director to tell her that I complained on her and the other white coworker, and from that moment, I had a target on my back. If two or three black people were seen talking or having lunch together, it was a problem. The stares, the looks we got. However, when there were 5,6,7,8 or more white standing around talking, in the breakroom or such, it was never a problem. Never! Luckily Covid hit very very shortly afterwards and I was furloughed then of course laid off. It was a blessing in disguise. One of the best times of my life, being laid off at that time. God definitely intervened on my behalf and compensated quite well for their BS!!!
@beemonique8466 I see you and I know you are not just speaking "your" truth. You are speaking "the" truth. WW know it, too. Keep your head up and keep being yourself. BW need to hear from you. WW need to learn from you instead of being envious and fearful.
@@beautifulangel5627 NOBODY is envious of bw. What dimension do y'all live in?
@coleycole5344 that's why you're up and down the comment section stalking bw 😂😂😂
@@coleycole5344 BS!!! That's a lie.
It's obvious all around the damn world.
@@chinaarlene7035 Stalking? Ew. I only made a few replies madam. Maybe my replies are vexxing your evil spirit with the truth so you just notice them more. I have never dated nor desired to date y'all. You're childish and illogical reply is one of those reasons. Can you respond with any facts or logic instead of gaslighting and emoticons like a child?
This is depressing. I'm a black women and this is..... Hard to watch.
Yeah they're straight up lying.
@@Joshua-eo5hrno they are not
It's true for many, many, many Black women @starwoodanime1532. But most BW don't succumb to the nonsense, and that is truly uplifting. BW know the score and still move forward understanding that they are not lacking. Others are simply insecure, jealous, fearful, or whatever, and unjustifiably so. My hope is that these W women who are misguided will open up their self-centered minds and understand that BW are their equal and must be allowed to have their personalities as long as they are not rude or hurtful to others. The workplace will become more harmonious and productive when this happens. WW need to see this video.
@@Joshua-eo5hrwhy would you think they are lying?! You are not a blk woman and have no idea what they experienced. If you are uncomfortable with the conversation then just say that but to call someone a liar is wrong.
@@Joshua-eo5hr white tears 😢
Here to say that we are not well liked, especially when we're attractive, intelligent and outspoken .
There it is, love! PRECISELY!
Dr. Carolyn Anderson (author of White Rage) speaks about how rage-filled the racists whites become when see/interact with Black Americans who are consistently top performers. It's the VERY competent, industrious, driven/ambitious/aspirational Black people that outshine them (without even trying!) that makes them feel utterly insecure and that really pisses them off. And, yes, just as you've said, if the Black person is also good-looking, fit, graceful/elegant, an eloquent speaker and always well dressed (simply because they naturally have a good sense of style), they absolutely lose their shite!
I've experienced SO much workplace harassment and retaliation because I am a confident, kind, courteous, focused, no-nonsense top-performer who has always minded her own business. I've called out owners, management and hr puppets when they engage in their attempts gaslight me. I have clearly let them know, practically spelling it out for them: "I know what you're trying to do and it isn't going to work. You can never try to make me doubt my work/contribution or my worth. NO ONE can EVER make me feel bad about ANYTHING that I do or don't do. I recommend that you stop trying so hard, it WILL NOT work." They can and do fire me for not kissing ass, but they'll NEVER make me into someone who feels inferior to ANYone. I am a conscientious, loving, self-contained, self-aware individual with a truly good/honorable moral compass. I play no games and if I decide to work for a company, they are truly fortunate to have me on board as I treat people with kindness and respect (until they've disregarded my kindness or shown me any disrespect) and love doing EXCELLENT work (no matter the task).
YEAH BY EACH OTHER TALK ABOUT THAT
If you’re attractive at least the men will like you.
@@undivested You talk about it
@@michaeljohnson-ym8zp Not all of the time.
As a black woman working in a predominantly white corporate environment, I’ve found a balance to be my true self and still be professional. I’ve experienced prejudice and racist attitudes in my over twenty five year career, but I refused to be treated like I don’t deserve to be where I am. I’m just as smart, I’m just as attentive, organized and will speak up if things are wrong. I love to see other black women in my industry and level. Keep this conversation going!!
I love how you said balance. That's what I was thinking.
This type of question irritates my soul. Especially when EVERYONE knows the answer. Corporate is very hard for black women. It is very exhausting.
CHILE
well, get a different career.
@@jiggaman000
Yeah everything is just so easy for you
It’s the devils lair
People want us to be mammys or we’re the villain. They want to know know what we’re thinking at all times and if we’re not thinking what they want us to think, big problem.
Exactly. I've been told so many times I'm unreadable. But I'm a high performer and analytical, so these "problems" with us are typically manufactured for a reason, unless someone is acting openly hostile. But I have rarely seen that be the case unless they have never been in a corporate environment.
No they want you to not be loud, rude, self-absorbed narcissists. Y'all are the only group on the planet that think you're above reproach or correction, yet y'all are the top group that is in dire need of reproach and correction.
You lack self awareness if you think being friendly and socialable is being a mammy. I’ve seen black women who are social and friendly be treated poorly by black women who were not.
@@michaeljohnson-ym8zp a mammy is a simp for ww...like you.
@@michaeljohnson-ym8zp a mammy is a slave for everyone but herself.
These Yt male and female executives and middle managers are not overly friendly and kind in the workplace.
Not at all. Some of the things white men do in workplaces is flat out inappropriate!
You dont have the luxury to be like them. The African ancestors lost the battle many moons ago. We are at home but mostly still nomads. ❤
@@HolisticManifestingjust because you have power doesn’t mean you have to abuse it. It says more about their character than us
Of course we know that. But that’s not the reason BW come into the workplace mad all the time
I’ll be honest. It’s not really a racial thing for me. It’s more so gender. I can’t stand female execs and middle managers. I hate to say this, but I’ve found, where I’m from, that women who are in positions of power, tend to stroke tensions in the workplace and are extremely disagreeable to other women. If you’re a black female employee, it’s worse for you. I went through it. Intelligent, enthusiastic, physically attractive (face and body), educated, articulate, authentic and can speak other languages and other talents and they made me a target from day 1. I just didn’t see their manifestation until 2-3 months in my job. Male execs/managers can be mean too, but from my experience they’ve often been super helpful to me, my journey, development and given excellent advice.
Melissa's body language, the tone of her voice and her overall demeanor, would give me pause to work with her or for her. That may be a successful entrepreneur persona, but that would not allow for employee retention. All the other ladies on the panel exuded calmness and were at ease when they spoke. They didn't need Melissa on that panel. She did nothing to dispell the angry black woman stereotype.
She showed up poorly and cheaply in appearance and attitude but expect rich, expensive outcomes from employees.
I think she is more frustrated because she probably wants to hire more young black women and she is having a hard time with that group.
Melissa excuded calmness as well. You're just delusional and Can't stand when Another Black person holds Black People Accountable and Doesn't Sugarcoat the fact that Their Experiences Working with Black People Weren't Always Great.
@@BellaKayeLLard For you to talk negatively about Another Black Woman's appearance simply because she said something you don't Agree With is PROOF that you Fit the Stereotype of the typical Shady and Sassy type of Black Person.
YALL JUST MAD CAUSE SHE SPOKE ON BLK GIRLS AND YOU COOL ON THE OTHERS ONES BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T
I just feel like they want us to tell all our business so they know what we are thinking. I am so glad that I work alone now and don't have to deal with all the work drama. I have been the likable and cooperative person and was fired twice. I do my job now, stay quiet and mind my business. You cannot please people whether you are nice or not.
Thank you!! The r-cist and blk women haters in the comments don’t want to admit it. We can’t win. Nice or nasty
@@tiredoftheworld4834 Absolutely!
Is there a standard … YES…. Which is why I prefer working remotely… I hate working in an office
As a professional black woman for almost 30 years, I can acknowledge racism, including a double standard when it comes to reactions in certain situations. However, I can also acknowledge that some of the most unfriendly and belligerent people I’ve encountered are unfortunately my black sisters. Everything is not about race. Just saying🤷🏾♀️
Interesting coming from a black woman! Thank you for your perspective, sister
Do you believe we should all be seen as angry even when we keep to ourselves?
Yes. I’m a BW too and I have come across some mean sisters for no reason at work. Stank facing you when you say hello. Lol. I just take note and keep it moving. Women compete in every race because of whatever but as a BW I do take offense when it comes from another sister b/c we have enough issues. But it is what it is.
This comment speaks to the topic. Black women are called out for being mean/not likeable at work. But ppl of all races are 🍑 holes. But only Black women get the stereotype.
Yup, I hate how they keep making it seem like we are a monolith when it really is personality dependent.
I'm a Gen Z and VERY hard working, and I'm not the only one. I understand she had bad experiences with the under 30s, but that's what EVERY older generation says about the young ones. So it's less of a generation issue and more of an immaturity / maturity issue. cause that's not fair, to paint everyone with the same brush
Lil' Queenie, you needn't explain yourself to someone who will look at your body and make assumptions. This is hard work and its one battle you cannot win AT ALL . I am a gen above you and i had been there in the past with the gen prior . i invested 5 years trying to be coolest guy ever and it just does not work because if someone hates your ass you could be wearing a crown they'd still hate you
@@PHlopheright!!
If you are a Black woman in the corp do not befriend co-workers on socisl media or give too much info on your time away from work. They see you as competition and will use anything to sabotage you.
Melissa did NOT need to be on this board. She’s coming off as hostile and pretentious. “I’ve been a business owner for over 20 years….. ok…. ?” Like ok????
shes a Black woman business owner for 20 years. Shouldn't you be proud of her? Isn't that Black girl Magic?
And Black Women are always hostile.
That lady that is referring to the phone is bias. Everyone under 30 is naturally obsessed with their phone.
She is definitely no lady. She is classless
@bobbybrown-nr6ju... Their decision to be "obsessed with their phones" is their decision. It just is not a good job trait (no matter WHAT the color).
I'd encourage anyone obsessed with their phone (regardless of age) to work for themselves.
It definitely has nothing to do with race
You can't avoid how you are perceived. Thank goodness for what the Dr. said at the end.
Wonderfully put.
Even if you dress classy, talk and walk just as they do, have a phd, etc. I’ve seen how disrespectful and audacious people who hate blk women can be…
My Texan black science teacher in a high level class was still disrespected by the whyte and Asian students in my class. I was surprised. She didn’t speak in Ebonics, her hair was relaxed, and she was always kind (not falling into a “stereotype”) yet they still disrespected her and had the audacity to be rude. In my academically competitive school I noticed the black women would be more disrespected than the blk male teachers. The blk male teachers were better accepted and respected. I had a black retired veteran as a teacher for a few years and she was stern. People were scared of her to some extent but she really liked me and care a lot about all of the students. She was soft on the inside. But if she was soft on the outside and “feminine and friendly” best believe they would treat her like trash. They only respected her when she was military mean!
Melissa seems to be the problem. She need to grow up emotionally
I can tell Melissa is a nightmare to work with/for. I just KNOW she talks to her employees any kind of way.
A hot mess leader for sure
@queenshay A total and complete hot mess, just like she looks.
THEY CAN TAKE THAT TRUE BOY
I’m quite invested in this topic and have experiences for days. Staying in your own lane in the workplace translates to not being a good culture fit. I’m not hired for my skills and contributions, I’m simply put in a position that limits my potential and growth. Seeking for what you deserve is then seen as an attack, entitlement, or the scapegoat which is being called angry/combative for standing your ground and having a moral code. Other BW in the workplace, as disheartening as it is to say this, aren’t any better. My opinion: because they have been in an environment that entertains this for far too long. They lose sight of what it means to develop their younger peers because of fear in the workplace, perhaps they will be replaced, a competitive mindset comes into play to tear each other apart, and then a disingenuous character is then displayed, making the introvert in the situation, look like the villain. The workplace doesn’t want to do the work to understand diverse cultures or backgrounds, they just want you to fall in line and if you don’t, implicit bias exists.
🎉 You explained this perfectly.
This is exactly correct, and what I've been through as an introverted black woman.
🎯 100% agree!
Yes some blk folk are hired to be overseers for other blk employees… heard of this phenomenon. They’ll hate you for no reason other than to secure their jobs and please their overlords..
This convo should have been longer. Too much to unpack in such a short amount of time.
Not it’s not, a lot of bw create their own problems
@@RMNC704 How?
@@lavettesmith156 That's too long to even mention. But start off with the nasty attitudes, moral degeneracy, the extreme narcissism.
Melissa seems as tho she is the problem .. her whole body language is rude
This is so disgustingly ignorant coming from a black woman
It screams she has an attitude and an authoritative demeanor.
@@AuthorJanaeMarie well, she's a business owner so she has to have somewhat of an authoritative demeanor.
I feel like this itself is apart of the problem. She could NOT be like that at all. But imagine Melissa as your co worker. You'd probably still see her this way due to her demeanor and she'd be thinking ppl see her as angry although she don't see herself that way. It's hard to explain it. But your comment is literally the point of this topic.
@@itsnotmeitsyou717 hm this is true but on the other hand we actually have context to what she is saying. The question was something along the lines of “are black women problematic in the work place”? Melissa answered yes with the quickness. The problem is clearly cyclical. It’s very clear that Melissa is pretty self hating and lacks self reflection
I think Black people in general just need to learn how to value and respect each other and have a code of conduct, you see it among other racial groups in the workplace.
LaVerne, soooo true. reciprocal respect brings peace. I have had to use my fists to prove a point twice over the past 8 years bc its sooo many Ninjas that fail the diplomatic test and encroach invisible territories . I have male cousins i know outside family functions i do not want them in my spaces. My kids do not need to see that sheit.
I think an underlying issue I noticed during this discussion is the bias against newly emerging members of the workforce. I understand the generalization, because social media and technology addiction has unarguably affected many young people, but this mindset makes being taken seriously as a young professional difficult to navigate. I wish this could have been more of a conversation on the original topic of likability of black women in the workplace. It was lovely to see a panel of successful women of color, it would have been amazing if the discussion was more constructive. Like another person noted, there’s way too much to unpack with a topic like this in such a short amount of time.
It’s women in general. I’ve worked w/ both. Some are just catty, hella emotional and miserable so it exudes in the workplace🤷🏽♀️I’ve seen major decisions made over emotions vs logic w/ both races of women in leadership.
MUCH needed convo - great points
The one with the pink hat seems the most logical and chillest. Gives good nice vibes.
Yes I agree.
you're only saying that because she said something you agree with.
Never had an issue with BW in the workplace until I became a manager. The disrespect I've experienced from BW would never be the same for a wyte manager.
WW are working in the background to give you issues. BW, in my experience, will deal with things head on. WW will collude and get you into something that leaves you looking like a BIG DUMMY
How are you treating them and talking to them
@@FeliciaQueen17 with full respect. Even their own black colleagues have stated other managers that were wyte were not treated this way. This was black people telling me this
Are you a man?
Good God you are so right. Nobody disrespects you as a manager no matter how polite and professional you are like a black woman. Theyll let white managers talk to them like massa
If an older white man is calling the shots, yes you gotta be likeable to him
lol it’s not the older whyte man we’re concerned about. They’re usually nice. It’s the WOMEN 😂
Whyte women hate us
Likability is definitely necessary. Managers want to and are going to promote those that are both easy to work with and enjoyable to be around.
And don’t know their job nor does it. They are looking for scapegoats baby.
This is so true, I work with the white woman manager, and her kurt attitude is seen as authoritative and it’s respected. If I acted like that or anytime I request something with sternness due to urgency, you’d think I’d killed somebody the looks that I get.
It’s a tragedy because black women end up having to delegate every ounce of emotion, because our emotions are perceived as negative right off the back, whether it’s a positive emotion, people might see us as sneaky or fake, or when we are directing folks, our tone can be misconstrued, because people already have an idea of who they think we are. They have no idea.
I noticed this with multiple black women teachers. They were given so much more disrespect even when they were so sweet. Blk male teachers were respected more
They don't want you to have a differing opinion. They want you to be agreeable all of the time, you know, "a team player". 😅
Tiffanie, if i hear those 2 words "Team plyer" one mo'gain, I am going to Holla ! its like a pesky hashtags that follows us in real life.
I’m sure during the recruitment process you never let your prospective employer know that you were not a team player. Maybe you should so they can decide to hire you or not.
especially in retail. Managers want you to cater to entitled customers and fold on your principles. If sale is going on they want to you to adjust prices to make the customer's day.
Not just that. To pick up their work.
Oh you mean be professional and respectful?
I am. Black woman and I have worked in many roles with my sisters and have had wonderful experiences fewer times than those who are rude , don’t understand what customer service means and don’t even treat their own people like they want to be treated. Poor work ethic, no sense of urgency and quick to say that’s not my job. Many are afraid that they might go above and beyond.
I tip my hat to those who are hard workers, genuinely care about putting their best foot forward and work well with others because there are many like that, but the majority of my experiences have been the un coachable with bad attitudes.
Respectfully asking: Why aren't the interviews about/for- Black Women, longer? It's like trying to fit every topic/possible critiques/needed lessons/etc- into seconds. Yet -the "other communities or female impersonators" -get extended interviews/microphone time.
Again, respectfully asking: Why have a WW on stage addressing BW, related topics? Were there no other "qualified/with likability" BW -for the spot? I mean yes, she swirls and has biracial kids-but does that qualify her, for what the real message is?
I get the message "we need" money to thrive. Yet, I wonder what will be the end outcome- of denying skin folk, etc--cause we want MORE $$. & it's still never enough & still don't get the respect, that we feel we deserve. But, hey as long as the others "pretend" better- give them their flowers/jobs/respect, right?
I’m surprised they even gave it any airtime so I’m 👍🏼
@@necessaryevil5001 ikr. It's good to see/hear the Sisterhood. It's always a message in the little things. It just bothers me- when they ask -non black women & bm- to speak on, how life is- as a Black Woman. They never ask- the Blacks to speak for the life/work experiences of other races/genders. Only ours. Why?
@@lavettesmith156 great points!
Because blk men did not build for their communities and I'm convinced that they generally don't respect and value bw anyway. And I think a good question is - if bm disappeared tomorrow, who would continue to meet your needs? What supermarket, gas station, hospital, gym do they own? Truth be told, the great majority of angry bw - the ones that actually are angry - are angry because they deal with bm and are overwhelmingly raising his kids alone. I guess I would be angry too. No woman should ever have to be a mother AND a father.
UNFORTUNATELY, this does not only apply to BLACK WOMEN. I am a BLACK MALE and I have the same experience you have to be likable to get and keep the job. People want to work with people they like. I have colleagues from grad school who I know their capabilities. I have done group projects with them and they rarely get hired based on competence alone. it's about that personality quotient. It also applies to other races, especially in the interview process. Now, let's talk about some black women. Some are downright rude and scary people in the workplace, especially in customer service but I think men in charge do a lot of messed up evil stuff behind the scenes and get away with it but smile in your face. But some black women definitely have an attitude problem it's about self-awareness really.
What does likable even mean?
Definitely subjective.
Butt kisser, 'yes man' . Going along with everything other people say. Constantly talking and gossiping about others. In my experience, I could not be to myself on jobs. my personality went against me when time for raises . Mingling with coworkers during lunch and after work has nothing to do with my job 🤷♀️
Good point, because it could mean fake nice. I prefer professional. But it's a shame that these companies promote likable over professionalism.
I take it to mean having good interpersonal skills, being an effective communicator.
Y'all are the only group of people that think it's your right to be loud, rude, crass, unprofessional, and everybody has to deal with it and not say anything. But y'all can judge and critique everybody else at will.
If you come to work and do your work with kindness....what would be your drama? You grow into being good at your job when you focus on working and knowing how to do it. Being likeable means you know that work is about agreeability and progress!
The darker our skin though, we get treated differently until we put our foot down. It's bad enough that I've been bullied and mistreated by my own black people but get on these jobs and be mistreated as well by others it's not going to fly!
Y’all act like this isn’t a real thing. And trust, they’re over 30 as well.
Anida Baker
They should’ve interviewed women that weren’t black
What about just letting black women live?! This is exausting.
Black women don’t exist on an island by themselves. They have to “live” with others.
@@michaeljohnson-ym8zp exactly.
@@michaeljohnson-ym8zpI wished that we lived on a island by ourselves
I’ve noticed the term “personality hire” becoming more popular.
I feel you can’t appease ppl. The only person that needs to like me is the person cutting my check other than that I DONT CARE
Debs, Tell 'em Girlie !
Yup. They hate us regardless. So just be you
As a black woman, I was told "if your manager does not like you, run!!!"
Absolutely 💯 stereotypes, when you enter the workplace causes them to treat you inferior and want you to not react to unfair treatment
Who cares who anyone likes or dislikes. As long as you like yourself, that’s all that matters.
Our careers and lives struggle based on the perception and opportunities provided by others in higher levels of privilege. Black women are at the very bottom of the totem pole.
Right
Umm your money and future wealth is on the line
@@tiredoftheworld4834 not if you’re truly and genuinely being authentic to ‘you’. The ones for you will support you. You can try to please everyone, but even the ones who try to please everyone, still can’t satisfy them ALL.
I have worked in both public and private sector and I feel unless BW are running their own business, the best environment to be their true selves is the public sector (state/ local jobs) where they won’t get checked for having a supposed attitude. In the private sector, black women don’t have the luxury to be their true self, leading to workplace stress or just leaving in general
That's where most of us HAVE the worst attitudes, in the private sector as business owners. Many let the power go their heads as "boss ladies", not knowing how to talk to their employees and even clients or customers - but, especially in the PUBLIC SECTOR, working around the public (post office, Secretary of State's office, public school teachers, even bus drivers).But having worked in the private sector AS a black woman, I have found other black women are indeed, their "authentic selves" - rude, full of attitude, short tempered and easily agitated when dealing with the public. At Portillos/Barnelli's Food Court, I was the one calling out the orders over the loud speaker and giving the customers their food and was always pleasant, which is why the managers always had me do this job : "Barnelli's customer # 102, your order is now ready. Please step over to the counter". I smiled and thanked them cheerfully. Another black woman I worked with told me she couldn't be as "cheery" as me and she hated when the managers called her to do the order calling and requested working in the back as the dishwasher, away from the public. We black women may be "expected" to act a certain way, but we give in to the stereotype, almost everytime.
What is a black woman’s true self?
what is a black woman's true self?
@@michaeljohnson-ym8zp i don't think she knows.
As an extrovert I purposely keep a distance from my co-workers.
Work Life is a far more pleasurable and safe environment being this way. 💜
I just shared that I have workplace trauma.
Or they could just mind their business before we show what angry actually is 🤷🏽♀️
I've had to fight ALLLLLLL my life!
I just had to fight my boss this morning for trying to mess over my money. I called in the union and HR! Needless to say, my boss got to back pedaling. No, I'm not liked, but I'm richer. 💪🏾
The female with the angry bird eyes seems to be the problem, I wouldn’t sign up to work at any of her companies. She appears to have the attitude and would only attract others to do the same. Just my observation on her wordiness and body language throughout the interview. The one sitting 2 seats away from👀👀
But this being a professional space, why isn't his choice of words more professional? Why use the words ' damn' and 'ass'?
Idk about likability, but i do know that no form of bullying should be tolerated.
One the phone issues with under 30s as nothing to do with race, employers everywhere experience this.
Black People Can't Stand When Other Black People Tell the Truth about the horrors and difficulties of working with other Black People. So Quick to Gaslight and Say they're Anti-Black. Black People Can Dish Out Criticism But CAN'T TAKE IT.
Other Women on the Panel Had Some great Points, ESPECIALLY about Not being Allowed to be Quiet and Introverted in White Workspaces as a Black Woman....But I would also Argue that you Can't be a Quiet and Reserved Black Person in Black Work spaces EITHER.
agreed.
I’ve learned that black people who grew up in black neighborhoods don’t see a problem, black people who grew up in more diverse communities definitely see the problem.
yup. We've been socialized with hood traits so we see it as normal. But really its dysfunctional behavior.
Yup…
Whats the problem or should I say which one of the problems is this comment referring to???
@@itsnotmeitsyou717 you asking is very telling.
@@prim.an.propher1505 of?
Enjoying peace and quiet. When I show up I show up to work. I had to set boundaries because when you work hard and you’re tired at the end of the day why are people worry about you setting your boundaries.
I hate when people say I am a business own and I dont know what it is like to work for anybody.... They have to kiss more ass than anyone to stay in business and teach employees how to suck up to customers....
I love this conversation this is truly happening in the workplace.
I have worked in many settings and some of these settings were extremely toxic. I have experienced a lot of microagressions, racism coming from both males and females and there was a hierarchy class in the work place...so much that it became political. I am an introvert. I am talking to people all day..i get paid to do that but it doesn i want tonbe psrt of the nonsense that goes on at work. Some supervisors are rude, disrespectful and entitled. Some places think that you have to kiss their behind in order to get promoted and I've seen this happens all the time with my current job.
THIS!!!!! You get it, Love. You're SPOT ON!!!
Yes there is differ standard for black women in white spaces. Professionally dressed and conservative in actions still judged harshly if skin is toned color. I could tell some upsetting & unfair things happened to me due to skin color despite experience, earning PhD in healthcare work spaces and a pleasant person.
My mom is an RN, and she sees the toxicity and racist behavior from other nurses and patients lol
Not them saying Gen Z is lazy💀. Now why did we catch a stray like that😂
Thank you to everyone who participated on this panel today, and thank you for speaking out about it.
As a black woman in the workplace we need forms like these to keep and help those be culturally competent when it comes to us in the workplace and not only us but those from all backgrounds as well.
You have to keep in mind that we are now in a generation that all races are working together more than ever seen before in America history. As we all know this didn’t happen 50 years ago. So to be honest, you kinda have to expect some ignorance when it comes to different cultures and being relatable etc…
Unfortunately, this is why we need real talks like this so everyone can be properly educated on culturally competent relatable topics and issues. Not only for us as blacks but all cultures to be fair in general.
It's a lot of stereotyping in this video. It works both ways. I'm 28 and have had bad experience with older black women but also have had good experiences. When i was 22 in my internship a middle aged black woman kept referring to me as "little girl" and kept passing on her work to me. Who is really lazy? Completely inappropriate. Women as a whole need to do better towards each other at work.
Absolutely we have to be likable and doormats
When you go to work you are there to do a job you are not there to entertain or to be entertaining you are there to do a job
Yet they’ll fire you and harass you if you don’t entertain them 😄
@@tiredoftheworld4834 are they paying other than your paycheck
Just do your job good that’s all you need to do
There are laws in place to keep everyone safe
The key is don’t be a problem person in the workplace
Everyone goes into work with a mask on
Melissa has her own aggressions. You get out what you put in… PERIOD
SHE'S TELLING TRUTHS YALL FIGHT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME
Anytime I have gotten angry at work?
It has had absolutely nothing with me being a black woman. 😄😄😄
Hmmm... the problem with this show is that it is so one-sided. I remember the segment when the black woman falsely accused black men of not assisting her when she said she was hit in the face with a brick. There is this over protection of black women who do wrong in the work place and private society. Some black women at the work place are in the news for the wrong reasons; Tiffany Henyard, Fani Willis, Latoya Cantrell, Zina Morgan, Katrina Brown, Regina Hill, Tracie Hunter, Leticia Astacio, Christina Peterson, the three black female founders of BLM, Robin Conner, Erica Norris, Martina Pickett, Sonya Mckinght, Kim Viverette, Natalie Hall, Shekinah "Jo" Anderson, Maxine McManaman, Wanda Smith, Janay White, Barbara Furlow-Smiles, Veronica Shaw, Kesia Lemoine, Bettye Ligon, Serena Caldwell, Ericka Jones, and etc... these are current stories in the news involving black women at the workplace. Before we point the fingers at others lets make sure we have our house in order. As far as blaming Hollywood for creating the "angry black women" role blame the black women who continue to accept and play these roles. To everyone please check out the great 🎥 movie "Hollywood Shuffle" 1987. It has a solution for blacks who keep accepting low selfesteem roles like; slave, gang member, prostitute, and etc... We need less victimization and more victories in the black community.
great comment.
We are threats especially we are confident and independent
you're not a threat. at all.
@@jiggaman000 clearly we are because of all your bitter responses
@@tiredoftheworld4834 So Black Women are threats and special?
Commentary doesn't make me bitter.
Very needed topic
If they like you, just know you're the non threatening black woman in every aspect of your life
Why would anyone want to come to work and deal with a condescending nutcase just because they can do the job, yes, attitude goes a long way no problem with that.
This resonates so much with my experience. Thank you for this.
They’re in different business environments so it varies. The business owner person in the sales environment I agree that your people being likable is valuable and it helps I’m in sales myself. And I agree with the other people as well. The business owner should be likable as well if that’s the environment we in. Maybe those bw didn’t like u and felt u are not likable. Are u coachable? Cause alot of managers and owners that are not coachable. and alot of business owners and managers are not likable and non coachable themselves so that effects your success and mine. You gotta know how to talk to people of all ages and all generations especially if u are a business owner or manager but u probably won’t receive none of this wisdom
My experience has been similar to the business owner, Melissa Wilson, Real Estate Developer. Although, I agree that this is a gen Z culture as stated by Bevin Bigger. I think being likeable is important. There is better energy when the atmosphere is calm, and everyone has the ability to manage self and work well with others. We definitely need to guide and lead the younger generation because there is a need for positive comradery to take place to succeed in a workplace and to improve the business image.
Interesting. I’m blk & I hire ppl and I always look for someone who is a good fit meaning not only can they do the job, but I like them. Who would want to be around someone for 8 hours a day who off general meeting is not likable🤷🏽♀️
I go to work, secure the bag and leave. I play the game. They dont need to know what i think and feel. Get the Money!
Ive been on both sides as a black woman...many people have issues..Im looking for qualifications and who is more self-aware, and more working towards fixing their issues..what do they have to offer to industry and can u be taught & are you evolving....if thts not happening Im not hiring you...not everyone is outgoing, not everyone is introverted...bc I dont want to be looking for someone else in 6 months..
Angry woman stereotype not syndrome.
TRUTH TO IT
Who in their right mind would hire someone to work with them that they don’t like and that they believe others may also dislike??? Do you go to stores that you don’t like? Do you get your hair done by people you dislike? Do you get your taxes done by someone you don’t like? Who in the world chooses to do business with ANYONE that they dislike? This is stupid.
The whole panel said a whole lot of nothing, except the business owner in the middle. She keeps it funky.
Women in general typically work in service industries therefore, customer service and likeable, friendly, personality comes with the job of dealing with customers.
Yup but unfortunately it's sucks the likeability out of you lol.
Nobody pointed out that being likeable is part of being good at a sales job so the hiring lady is hiring based on skill.
Of course one has to have good interpersonal skills, HOWEVER...you can be damned near a saint, BUT if you're a top performer and are always killing it in sales and you have colleagues who are also in sales and they see you as competition/a threat, you WILL have haters...THEY will not like you. And they can be very VILE and detrimental to your health if you stay in that environment for long. (especially if you're the only female amongst males with easily bruised egos).
That "upset" thing happened yesterday when I actually was NOT upset about anything! It's like...they want you to be in constant entertainment mode. The minute you're focused & not overly chatty...then, here they go with that "Are you upset?" nonsense.
Going to watch but interestingly based on the thumbnail “avoiding the angry black women stereotype” seems as though they need to challenge the majority who may present these prejudgments rather on the minority making the onus on them.
❤❤❤ THIS 100%. They are always expecting Black folks, esp women to fall in line and assimilate to their one-sided expectations rather than examine their own stereotypes and biases. And it's obviously so they don't have to and can keep moving the goalposts.
@@theblaqkhaleesi9559they always see us as “angry” even when we’re quiet, a push over, or a slave for others
When you are a business owner you work for everybody that does business with your business
No, you work WITH that person. They’re paying you for a product or service they need. You’re not their employee.
Money before integrity… I know this person is a ….., but they gonna make me some $$$. Well, you heard it, disagreeableness and $$$ are the goals. Attitude and morals, not so much…
Why was this segment so short?? I would love to hear more of their opinions on this topic.
I definitely feel this at my job right now.
One of my colleagues puts on earphones even if she is not playing music so she can get peace and quiet so it doesn't seem she is being "moody". But more so than ever she gets picked on for been quiet and withdrawn yet she is the kindest and most approachable.
Judge people as an individual, you can’t say all. There have been bw I worked with that I absolutely loved and was real cool with. Like my mom/auntie/big sister/homie. And then I be worked with some bw that I absolutely despised, I mean they embodied every negative stereotype.