The Untold Truth of Sailboat Crew *(Don't let THESE people on your boat!)*
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- Опубликовано: 21 июл 2024
- Having others join your sailboat as crew to help share in the experiences and work of sailing & cruising can be wonderful. But like anything in life, it can also be a nightmare if you invite the wrong person.
I've had a few bad crew over the past four years. And usually it wasn't a big deal. But after one particularly horrible experience this past year. I knew I had to say something. For myself and other sailboat captains out there.
There is much more I'd like to say on this topic. But I wanted to keep this video as short as possible. If this is something you'd like to hear more about. Let me know and I'll start work on a part 2.
Intro 00:00
Montage 00:27
Lazy Crew 00:36
Ungratefulness 01:21
Wasting Resources 02:13
Don't Like "Taking Orders" 02:51
Cheap$kate$ 03:39
Damaging & Breaking The Boat 04:35
Crew Trying To Be The Captain 05:26
Mental Illness 06:15
Alone Time 07:11
Bad Student 07:45
Nearly Killing Me 08:17
More Work Than Help 09:39
Stealing 10:29
Not Contributing 11:03
Refusing To Leave!!! 11:56
Closing Thoughts & Lessons 13:09
This was hands down the most difficult video I've had to make. I don't like making videos about a negative topic. But this needs to be said.
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Hello & welcome! I'm Daniel aka "Adventureman Dan." I've been living on the edge, from one adventure to another for the past nine years. Stating in Central California with my first GoPro, through SoCal, Baja, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, Alaska and throughout the whole USA. But for the past five years on my sailboat "Adventureborne" I'm open to unlimited possibilities of where I can go, and what I can do!
#crew #sailboat #crewing 
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Makes me appreciate being a solo sailor. Keep up the great work. Love your videos.
Thanks buddy, will do!
Absolutely spot on. I prefer sailing on my own simple old boat than fancy and with a bunch of unknown crew. Good on you for being honest and clear! Safe sailing!
Well said!
My crew, a friend from 45 years ago (not for 45 years of friendship) began unraveling, yelling with spittal, so I left him and his son, on shore, at St. Croix. I very difficult and personal decision. I have been "afraid" to allow others on board since, and I'm using your video, to explain to the future, would be crew. Thanks Adventure Dan. Exfil
Sorry to hear that, but glad it helped.
The fact that you have quite a list of less nice experiences with crew, seems to mean that you've given a lot of people the opportunity to sail with you. Great you are so generous and friendly to share your sailing adventures.
Very true! I've given many people an experience of a lifetime, and I know there are many more out there who'd like to join as well. I'm not gonna let a few bad apples ruin the bunch. :)
Dan, I'm a bit older but want to learn sailing before buying a boat. Is it never to late to be a crew. I'd like to learn just about as much as possible without info overload. The batteries with solar, diesel to electric motor conversion and maintenance, navigation electric and old school, desalination, fishing, sails, safety rafts in case of sinking, etc. Where is the best place to find captains that need a crew? Are most looking for female companionship or any that want to learn. And would they take on crew with small potty trained dog who sleeps like a cat.
Wow... crew that won't leave... was not expecting to hear that... crazy!
Its about the worst thing that could happen!
Wow! What a great and informative video. I can't imagine how stressful it would be to be stuck on a boat with that bad apple. I was lucky to be asked to help crew and enjoyed every minute. I was always looking for ways to help and contribute. The captain took good care of me and showed me where I could help. Thank you for giving people the opportunity to spend some time sailing.
That's wonderful to hear. Thank you! :)
Thanks soooo much for this vid. I will be buying a boat in a few months and will NOT take on any crew. I follow a few sailing channels and I can see why there are a lot of solo sailors. I know its much more demanding but rather take on friends that you know for a while than strangers. Thanks again for this valuable info!
Glad it was helpful!
More Captains need to talk about this! Thanks for the informative video! Happy Sailing!
I'm soo happy you found it insightful.
I've seen your offer to take on crew a couple of times late last year, at a moment where I wasn't available. And I'm hoping these not so great encounters won't prevent you to share your adventures in the future. I've sailed as crew on other people's boat, and yes the 10 minutes showers are juste a no go. As a crew I'm so grateful for anything I can do and learn on board, I'll happily scrub the deck in exchange for being allowed to be there. But I talked to a few captains and I don't know how you guys do it, i'd be so scared to share my home on the water with people who might end up not being a great fit.
Thanks soo much Lunefulle. It can be tough inviting a stranger into my home. But I do plan to take on crew again very soon as I sail further down into the Caribbean. A few bad apples should not ruin the bunch for everyone else. :)
It's interesting to hear all of these as sometimes I have thought a great way to learn from real experience would be to crew here and there if we go ahead and buy a sailboat of our own. I have literally worried that I would be more work than help so hearing your side of things has help alleviate some of that worry.
The fact that people think of it as a free holiday and you should take over parental care for grown adults blows my mind.
Great list.
Gotta kick off the freeloaders. :)
Hi Dan Michael here again just wanna say great video ,and great information about these different on board cases. And absolutely no I do not think you're too harsh I think you're right on. So stay safe out there and be inspired.
Heu Michael, glad to hear from you again. Thanks again!
I'm honestly so glad to see that there is a good community of people online who talk about sailing and living on a boat. I had never even thought about going sailing until I got very unwell and had to drop out of college after only a few weeks of the first term. I desperately wanted to keep doing things, so after a few months of pretty much total social isolation I picked up a job scrubbing dishes in the place my father works.
By chance, I got a place on a five day sailing trip with a local charity that provided funded places in such trips for disadvantaged young people. I still had to pay a little bit towards it but I was eager to be doing something new, as well as anxious. There were two other guys on the trip besides the skipper and the mate, so a nice sized crew for a relatively small boat.
It was only five days and about 90 miles, but it was honestly life changing. The weather was more than challenging, especially in this mostly wooden and almost century old sailboat, but it was incredible how quickly you got to trust the crew. From the peacefulness of waking up at 5am and watching the sunrise to the adrenaline and madness of trying to reef the mainsail in the most foul weather and almost slipping off - I wouldn't give it up for anything. It wasn't quite the Bahamas - it was the Thames estuary in mid April - but the feeling of hulling over at forty-five degrees and going six knots after the absolute hassle of setting the jib as a crew was such a new, amazing feeling. There is really nothing quite like it.
I would love to crew for someone just for the feeling of purpose, to learn more, and for that feeling after getting through a really rough patch where you're finally able to breathe.
I may be physically/mentally not in the best place - though hopefully once I'm 18 I can get the surgery I've been saving for - but those five days out on the water were the most whole I've felt in a long time. I know I'm only a kid and know very little about this world, but just know that most mentally ill people are not 'crazy'. Some will definitely not be mentally well enough for a long haul trip, yes, but some will. Obviously it ultimately comes down to the owner of the boat, and whether or not he's willing to take that onboard (both figuratively and literally).
Sorry for absolute essay of the comment, and thank you for talking in a down-to-Earth way about living and working on a boat, it's really helpful.
Right on buddy, it was a good read. Stay at it. Sailing is the perfect place for many.
Dan You have the right mindset, I've crewed on many boats and had an experience with a bad captain.
Let's put it like this I was glad we made landfall and I could leave that unprepared boat with an narcissistic captain.
I absolutely 100% agree with all you said in this video. I personally think I'm a pretty good sailor and mechanic/electrician.
However I always do what the captain says then and there, I will discuss later on why I was thinking about an other way of doing things.
Nobody knows everything so I always enjoy sailing on other peoples boats, so I can learn from them, I also hope other people can learn from me.
Love your videos, keep em coming. Who knows we might share an anchorage somewhere in the future.
Thanks soo much. Well said.
Well said, I have never heard all the bad experiences all in one place. Good job, U R living the life, and I enjoy watching your videos, well produced and well-presented.
Thanks Randy, glad you liked it.
Awesome. I have the utmost respect for what you do! Hopefully this video will weed some folks out preemptively that might not be a great fit for you.
Thank you, I hope so.
I can't imagine showing disrespect in any form to the skipper. I've just recently started looking at crewing positions since I plan on eventually circunavigating on a sail boat and I view crewing as one of the best ways of learning how to sail and getting my foot in the door. Being a part of a crew is a dream for some, myself included, so it shouldn't be taken for granted or abused in any way. Crewing with Dan sounds enlightening and I can't believe there are people out there that would take advantage of that in the worst ways. Awesome video as always :)
Thank you, and I agree. Having been crew myself for so long, I've understood this well before I became the captain.
Thanks for this video well presented and helpful for others. We have had numerous crew and thankfully they have all been great.
Glad to hear that.
Thanks for your personal experiences with crew. I'm a long time solo sailor who probably should locate crew for upcoming offshore passages this year. This is one area I'm a bit apprehensive about.
I hope it works out buddy.
And for good reason. Trust your instincts!
Well done. Great points. Hope you find your crew that have the right stuff!
Thanks!
Very interesting. I can't imagine interviewing potential crew. You really depend on honesty. I enjoy following your adventures!
Thanks!
Man, you've got a new subscriber. Still binge-ing and liking them videos, keep uploading more content. 😎👍👍
Awesome, thank you buddy!
Dan THE MAN! Howdy Sir! I'm super crazy but willing to help A LOT! Lol... Just saying hello. You are awesome and it is always tough when you get a grump. Kick them to the curb quickly. Fair winds and following seas to you.
Hey hey buddy! For sure man, will do! I'm not gonna stop because someone else wants to drag me down.
My first sail crewing on a boat bigger than a dinghy, sailboat that is. I live on a 50ft narrow boat. My 8th day on the wheel going dead down wind wing on wing with a nice swell behind and not a lot of wind I lost it after a few hours and a big wave accelerated the boat faster than the wind. No steering and we spun around into wind. Was pretty scary seeing the boom of a 48ft boat fly across the deck inches above everyone's head. I was embarrassed and the captain was laughing till he realized his favorite cup had bit the dust. That was 6 years ago and I'm totally hooked on sailing thanks to a guy just like you who wants to teach. Keep up the good work.
Awww, I love that story. Glad to stuck with it. 😀
And thanks!
Oh man, am I glad you made that video! I thought those things you mentioned weren't big issues to others, even though to me they were! A lot of them happened to me in just a year and a half.. i will be sharing this video with every potential crew member! Thanks a lot!!
I'm really glad this could help. It's true that most captains have had some bad crew. But few talk about it. I think it's because we are too busy keeping the boat going. While bad crew who gets off a boat has all the time in the world.
Ahoy mate! Great video because all you see out there are the same stories about living on board is like. We sailors know how good and bad it is to live on board. Good luck out there. And may Polaris guide you to your true North in life.
Thank you!
Fantastic video! This should be required viewing for any crew before boarding.
Thanks! Yeah many captains has said the same. :)
Very well said. I was crew on OPBs for many years before buying my own boats so had an idea of the dynamics. Now, as a fulltime cruiser, I’ve had three crew who sailed with me for one, two and eight months respectively. They pulled their weight, paid their way and we remain friends. I think I’ve been lucky. After watching this video, I’m glad I’m capable of sailing solo, though I don’t much enjoy it! Best of luck with your future crew, you sound like a great guy to sail with.
Well said, and thank you!
I am so shocked that you've had these experiences. I'm yet to get any sailing experience, but when I find the right opportunity I am 100% there to help and to learn, and that's where the fun will come from too. Anything I can do to lighten the load on the owner, I'm there for. Honestly, I assumed this was the universal approach of most people.
That's a good mindset going into this.
OMG!.... I was about to look into crewing with you, but I absolutely DO NOT want to fall into the category of a BAD crew member. Despite being well funded and skills to match, I would feel awful being tagged as a "Bad Apple". I completely agree with your assessment of crew members and the fear it brings. I'm sure it's indescribable. Paring up with people is a tough and delicate process. I wish there was a better way.
I say, "walk the plank!" In all seriousness Capt. Dan, following all your adventures & seeing the type of captain & person you are, it's fair to say your honest, positive, open & willing to give & share your love of sailing & of the ocean if remarkable. Having tough & open conversations is at a minimum to see if personalities are a fit sometimes fail if the crew is not honest with you and/or themselves. Have you considered as part of your process, VOF (verification of funds), security deposit & upfront funds to cover their expenses/food? We are boater & have had guest travel with us...not anywhere the same, but after lengthy conversation on one trip with this couple of "the good, the bad & the ugly" to be expected of our trip... well let's just say I related to this video! Sometimes, individuals will tell you what you want to hear or don't hear what you are saying just focusing on their perspective of what the trip will "look like to them". Hasn't stopped us from sharing our experiences with others, & I know it won't for you as well. Keep being you, I know these experiences will make your process of finding future crew better! ⚓🐬⚓
Thanks soo much Ini. There are many more things like that I could do. But it's just adding to an already exhausting process. I think for certain countries I will do that if I'm responsible for them.
Well done for giving so many people wonderful new experiences. Thank you for sharing your insight into the trials and tribulations. With regards to your final comment regarding funds to return home. Are you aware that if a crew is deported from a country, or not permitted to enter a country, then you as the Captain of the vessel on which they are documented, are responsible for the costs of repatriation? This is why, in the few cases that I have taken on crew, I have always asked for a returnable bond sufficient to cover a flight home.
Thank you.
I am aware, but that is only for certain countries.
@@Adventureman_Dan Hi can you please let me know what countries these are?
I appreciate the more realistic aspects. I'm buying a boat soon and things like this are good to know.
This is something I need to do more often. Like many other sailing RUclipsrs I usually just post the good times. Happy to hear this video is well received. :)
@@Adventureman_Dan Great info to know! I'd love to see a video on finding good crew!
Finally Dan you were brave enough to tell the truth. Far too many people do not understand team work for the good of all. There are always arrogant, mean, grouchy, lazy, bossy, spoiled or uncoordinated individuals that ruin everything. Luckily most are still sane and beneficial to be around or society would fall apart. Jim Rodgers
Very honest. Thanks for this. Its hard for me when I want to share my boat with someone, but I know it just won't be fun. Or maybe for some folk, you only have them for a short day trip.
Well said! It's not easy.
Great objective analysis. I think you were very fair and impartial. Honesty and communication go a very long way. Thanks.😢
I appreciate that!
You seem a lot more calm and relaxed than I'd be if people played up on my boat mate, good on you. When you vet them lay down the rules, better to be a bit harsh at the start and have the expectations crystal clear, no sugar coating it. Keep up the good work bro.
Thanks for the tip
Yes, me too, rather sail solo, LOL.
I've said before I'd love to sail with you and you gave me some good advice. Awesome info!
P.S I'm a photographer. If we ever sail together I'll take thousands of shots!
Awesome man. I wish you'd messaged me for my recent crew post. Hopefully next time. :)
@@Adventureman_Dan I think I saw it but I don't have sailing experience... And I think that was one of the requirements.
Great video! Lotta common sense that a lotta folks don’t have…. Question: How would someone on land go about finding a boat that takes on crew?
Is your buddy boater looking to take on crew anytime soon? How would I connect with guys like you guys ?
Fellow Sailor here. Defo fell for a few of these!
I'll have to look that one up.
I've found what really separates the wheat from the chaff is when you encounter bad sea conditions for an extended period of time. Will they grin and bear it, or will they turn bitchy? Grouchy people just don't cut it when we all get a bit stressed, and things need to be tended to.
Well said!
All of these reasons are why we made a decision before we started cruising that we're never going to take on crew. Of course we have the benefit that there's two of us, but it does make longer passages difficult...and we chose to just accept that rather than deal with all of the crew nightmares we've heard about from other boats. We did break our rule last season and brought onboard a friend of mine who really wanted to experience cruising. She did ok, but we had a few challenges. The biggest one being that she just couldn't master the use of the head! This resulted in a potentially dangerous health situation, because she simply refused to use it and would hold everything in (except #1) until we could get ashore and she could find a bathroom. Fortunately it was never more than a couple of days, but her discomfort sometimes led to her being unable to help much.
The other issue was that she brought more stuff than we'd told her she could, and even brought some things we specifically said NOT to bring, like a computer! We didn't want to be responsible for any damage to expensive items (as you know, the marine environment is harsh on electronics!). But she did anyway. ARGH!
So I would add two items to your list: 1) unwillingness to learn the systems and use them properly, and 2) not following rules about baggage.
Both good things to add. :)
Cheers mate, a lot of good advice..
Thanks!
I think every new crew member should see and understand this video. Not only for them but everyone involved to have a great time.
Thank you, I agree.
Good idea, have potential crew watch this video and test on it lol!!
A good hybrid solution could be to set up a "paying crew" scheme with very clearly defined responsibilities. I’ve been on the crew side of that a couple of times and it has worked out really well. If you’re paying for a position you’re more invested and the freeloaders are automatically filtered out. And the skipper can buy groceries with the proceeds! 😊
Spot on video. Great points.
Glad you think so!
That's why I have a smaller boat (34 ft) and solo most of the time (except when my wife is on board). Met many crewed sailboats around the world with odd things going on.
It's true.....
I'm a captain and owner of a shrimp boat and I totally support you💪 useless crewmembers are so frustrating 😵💫 I really enjoy you channel, kind of got me dreaming of my own sailboat 🤩😃
Tell me about it! 😀
Thanks for an interesting video.
Glad you enjoyed it
Very insightful, thank you. Have you considered holding a deposit similar to a tenant renting a flat to let someone come on board? Just a thought.
Unfortunately I might have to do that in the future to avoid such people.
I think, one issue is that land people, not used to the rigors of a seagoing life, do not grasp the grit and discipline, that sometimes is necessary to function effectively as a team.During my time in the USCG, we always had the concept of being good a shipmates, to our fellow coast guardsmen.Sometimes ,that required self sacrifice.I had the same mindset years later, as a professional firefighter, Teamwork , was most important !.Life at sea 🌊, is not for the faint of mind and heart. Really enjoyed your commentary.!
Well said, and for sure, where you've been teamwork about be key!
Keeping it real Dan. Good on ya👍
Always buddy! :)
I hear what you are saying, but it works two ways. I’ve taken international flights to crew a boat described by the owner as in great shape, in the water and ready to depart…it was on the hard, the owner was still working on it and it was a very tired boat with equipment issues. I joined a 5000 miles passage and half way the skipper decided to stop and go no further. Crew had to charter a boat from super remote location and 2 international flights to get home, and one of the crew had given up their apartment and job to do it….. I’ve had an owner go over the side in bad,cold weather with not even a life jacket because he knew best so I had to do a single handed man overboard recovery. I’ve had a skipper ask for my passport at an overseas port even though he’d had the passports at departure, claimed he’d given me mine back, after much stress and searching, it was found in his backpack. I’ve 35K sea miles and am used to getting along well with people but skippers need to do their bit too.
For sure there are bad captains out there. I'll be working on "The Untold Truth of Sailboat Captains" soon. :)
And not worth it to have a bad captain with a disgusting boat. I got fooled by a guy on a Jeanneau in the Caribbean. Falsely represented himself. Well, he seemed fun and nice but turned out to be a total slob. The boat was a complete shitshow and included a cat and filthy litter box with a cockroach infestation. It truly was a nightmare.
Next boat I boarded was in Belize. Clean and neat. But the captain had many safety features missing and would shout orders at me without giving me a run through. No fun to be in a gorgeous spot with a mean SOB.
For sure, the knife cuts both ways.
Its always the few bad apples that spoil it for the rest. I would be falling over myself to be of use given an opportunity to crew, some people just have no clue. Thank you for the insightful video.
Awww, thank you soo much.
I assume you charge for your service? Why not charge as a package that includes food? Do you send an expectation document?
I'd rather have a work exchange, and don't want to charge or be a charter. I do have a full list of expectations. Which these few bad crew promptly ignore.
Only honest, hard working, polite, financially capable and helpful crew members are welcome. Timelines, expectations and fun are a critical component of a mutually beneficial relationship- both ways.
For sure.
Just curious. I guess it depends on the arrangement but when should crew get paid vs having the experience as payment.
That's a great question. And it really depends on a lot of factors. Mainly, does the crew have marketable skills and experience. And is it a leisure sailing route or a delivery. As well, what is talked about ahead of time before someone comes out to the boat.
Wow. You sound like a very sensible and good guy. I would love to crew on your boat.
As long as the captain can bring me breakfast in bed with eggs sunny side up, the mornings newspaper, make my bed while I take a long hot shower, not make too much noise why cooking my lunch, have a good wine list of course with chilled crystal glasses and every should be just fine. So when do I start?
Hahaha, exactly! You're about on par with many others who've never sailed before but want to start. Hahaha
Valuable information, thnx
:)
I think the answer is to try the crew first and make it clear what the rules are, if they have no experience then I suspect they will be more difficult to mould. take money upfront for food and costs. A bad crew member who would not leave would be dragged off my boat.
Well said Mark!
I have never been on a sail boat. Always powerboating. I never invite people on my boat for all the reasons you mentioned.
It's unfortunate people can't get along better.
Great video!
Thanks for the visit
Great video..I smiled few times when you described exactly the same situation we faced.I couldn't agree more with your opinion about crewing.We also have good and bad experiences.
Well said!
It's great to see your video and to hear about your experiences. I have had tennants in my house for some years and have had the same kind of issues with a few. It is extra hurtful because it is in your own home and because, when people do not behave well, as the "bill" is being passed over to you. Wether is is cleaning up and resoring after them. Or paying the bills. I do get a little desillusioned sometimes...
Oh wow!
That was inspiring. Peace from the UK.
Hey thanks buddy.
I really think some of these, if not all, should be talking points during a face to face interview, prior to even seeing your boat. I would hope their reaction to questions during the interview would help weed out and decrease prospective crew applicants. A secondary face to face interview could be conducted for those lucky few who are left, on the boat, to give a tour, give a brief of planned routes and timeframes. Questions could be asked during this interview to find out who might possibly be a trouble child or be harmful to the equipment and/or the boat. Maybe this sounds or is too easy. If you get a gut feeling about a person, go with it !
Definitely! Thank for the tips!
Well presented.
Glad you liked it!
If your a captain, never crew. I used to help friends out on the ICW. I found you end up trusting in bad preparation and skills more than you would think.
Interesting.
I will only sail with people I already know. Singlehanding is better than crew tensions! But of course the boat has to be set up for single handing. Since you're still single handing with a unhelpful crew! Helm operated windlass, plus self tacking staysail make me independent.
For sure.
Hi Dan. My name is Rob and I am trying to get experience sailing as I am trying to learn to sail before I buy a catameran to live the life. Can you recommend any website or captain to become a crew member. Thanks for all the info.
Hey Rob, try crew bay, or some of the Facebook crew sites. You're gonna have to probably take tougher less luxurious sails to start. But that's how you earn your salt. Good luck buddy, keep persevering.
sounds allot like renting out a room in your house. except more work is involved.. and i can tell yea.. its hard enough to find the right room mate, little alone find one that will be an asset. but i do admit, i have had some really good room mates, and it was magical to have them around. thanks for doing the video.. its good to hear the reality of things when all you really see is the good or faked. lol. cya..
Glad to hear!
Curious question: how much does someone need (usually) to join a join? I know not all captains are going to say the same amount, but an average amount.
Most have crew their fair share of ongoing expenses I think. Food, fuel, and a few others.
Well said!
Thanks!
Make a list of thinks needed to be done if they want on your boat and they have to comply or not go on the boat.
I have that.
There is no easy answer for dealing with people who are dishonest & don't want to help.
Back in the late 80s I bought a tayana 37 in the San Francisco Bay to live on. I was in my 20s and had no money but I love sailing. I invited about 10 different people to go out each time, never did they bring anything to eat or drink or a towel to dry off with. Day sailing is not any better with an ungrateful crew
Owww yikes!
Hey Dan so how does a new crew get the right stuff. If they are totally new to sailing/ crewing? Not being funny, just curious. Seen some applications wow. But if someone is looking to see if sailing is for them in many ways. How can they crew with no real experience? Especially if they don't really have other transferable
Skill sets.
There are plenty of places that teach sailing.
I have always wondered, where do sailboat owners go to get their crew? Is there a website Y’all use or just word of mouth?
Bit of both.
What a great video, brutally honest but in a very respectful way. Well done and thank you for sharing all this very important information and tips.
I appreciate that!
Some years back I took a group of on a short trip from hudson florida to tarponsprings florida. Two men and two ladies. The two men argued some, I ignored them. One of them spent the last couple of hours below deck. After arriving and seeing everyone off, I noticed my entire cabin had been rearranged. Turns out he had OCD and thats how he spent the time. LOL
Hahaha wow! Yeah people are weird. lol
Reminds me of my sister. She’s 29 years old and has never held A job during her adult life for more than six months. But it gets worse, it’s not that she’s held a string of jobs and can’t keep them long-term, she’s literally went years and years with that working. Just lived off my mother or other people or ran around doing drugs. Everything is always someone else’s fault. She was even talking to my mother a few months ago and said “I’ve been working most of my adult life“. And I asked mom how even she could be so diluted to think that. Well, deleted another right word. She basically have to have a traumatic brain injury to believe what she said. My mom said she didn’t confront her on it. And mom said maybe she means that she’s been working her entire adult life but only counting the times when she is able to work. And what she defines being able to work is having a job that will hire her and she’s in the right frame of mind to hold down a job. So if she’s depressed or on drugs or something else, then her being unemployed doesn’t count I guess. I could literally go on talking about how I have actually sacrificed money for my mother since I was a child, but my mother has always sacrificed for my sister. I would tell my mother not to buy me Christmas presents and birthday presents because I knew they couldn’t afford it, but at the same time my sister would gripe about having presents that were not good enough for her. But I could literally write a book about my sister is delusions. I just thought about a good title: “my sister’s delusional life”.
But I will add one more thing. My mother says she’s given so much to my sister because you have to treat each child different based on what they need. I guess my mother believes I needed to be selfless, but my sister needed to be selfish. My mom refuses to accept it, but the truth is the squeaky wheel gets oiled. I was willing and perfectly happy to sacrifice for the family so mom begrudgingly let me. It was easy for her to let me sacrifice because she needed it and I was willing to accept it. But my sister was not willing to accept it. Like I said, she would scream and holler about not getting a good enough present. The real truth is my mother follows the path of least resistance and has her entire life. So I have taken a few lessons from my sister and I started to play hardball with my mother when I need her to do something. But the funny thing is I have to force her to tell me what she’s doing with my sister so that way my mother does not let my sister wreck her life. My mother has been a nurse for over 25 years but almost lost her nursing license because she was behind on her taxes and they were not gonna let her renew her license, but she was behind her taxes because she claimed way too high of a deduction on her paycheck so that way they wouldn’t withhold any taxes because she needed more money. And why did she need more money, I think you’re gonna guess it. My sister. She was paying for her food and cigarettes and everything else when my sister refused to work. And thank God that President Obama‘s affordable care act covered free rehab up until you’re 26 if you’re on your parents insurance or else my sister would probably be dead by now. I think she attended five different rehabs though. But they were kind of like vacations to her, so that’s one drawback. So I’ve had to play hardball with my mother to make her tell me about her finances and what my sister is doing in life so that way my sister does not continue to wreck my mother’s finances. Like I said, there’s so much more I can go through about my sister’s life. I’m thinking about adding the phrase “and privileged“ to my book title. It would be “my sisters privileged and delusional life“.
Yikes.
Good vibes!
Thanks for listening
It's nice of you to open your boat to crew members for experience, but it's a bummer you have to deal with these things. It makes it really obvious that one needs to be very careful about who they bring aboard.
Indeed!
great topic you told
Glad you enjoyed it.
Hey Dan, thanks for tips! What’s your boat dude?
I searched your info and couldn’t find the make anywhere, I’m curious.
@@sunlovesailing ruclips.net/video/G3-Qe1S35Xo/видео.html
Check my channel for the full boat tour video.
If you haven't already - record an onboarding video, where you mention these things, as well as whatever else you think is important for potential crew to know. Then make people watch it, if they are interested to become a crew.
Awesome and great advice. People will definitely find this helpful and insightful. Cheers!
Glad it was helpful!
Great video👍 I’ve seen the advertisements where you take people for no payment, just an exchange of skills. Your a top bloke. You deserve a beer🍺
Cheers mate!
Let me tell you of a story I read about a few years back. Disclaimer, I can't verify if it is true.
The captain of a sailboat was travelling to Tahiti from the west coast and needed crew. He put out the word and a very attractive couple arrived who wanted to go. They said they would pay for food and share the chores. The captain took them on and they set sail. As soon as they were a couple of days out the couple locked him on deck and began doing drugs in the cabin. He was handed food and water and told to navigate or else. He spent the rest of the voyage in the cockpit day and night. Finally they arrived, the couple cleaned themselves up, went straight to customs and told them a tale about this horrible captain. He was forced by the customs to pay for their flight back and never got his money for food.
In 35,000 miles I never took on crew.
Thats insane and hopefully not true! Yikes!
Obviously untrue story. It would have been easy to turn back, only 2 days out. Or Put on a mayday, and Coast Guard would take care of it.
Nice info
Glad you think so!
I bought my sailboat to be alone, I'm rebuilding it for a life on the seas, I'm aiming at being able, if needed, to stay out for 7+ years at the time. Next year I'm sailing from Sweden 🇸🇪 to the Philippines 🇵🇭 and retire there 53 years old and doing my hobbies, fishing, sailing drinking beer and staying away from others, just me and God!
Sounds like a great plan! Fair winds buddy!
What does it take to get on a boat as crew?
Thanks. I’m in Crete would like to crew on sailboat. Where we going? Don’t worry about me I got ways. I will meet you almost anywhere. I prefer Southern Europe tho.
Spot on Dan!!
Thanks buddy!
Excellent.
I get why you do it...I certainly would never do it. I mean, other than friends and family. Quite frankly Dan, I'd be the perfect crew member for Adventureborne; however, fat and over fifty probably wouldn't garner too many clicks.🤣 Your transparency is refreshing, and should be the norm on RUclips.
Thanks Ken. But come on buddy, you know I'd love to have you join my boat!
I watch a lot of sailing and RV channels but that doesn’t make me an expert at handling your gear.
My biggest fear is motion sickness even with the patch behind my ears.
I just saw Huub Vlogs just talking about you and you’re going to make some content together!
Oh we've been making tons of great content the past few day!
Good job Dan
Thanks!
Going to make all potential crew watch this before signing on.
Glad to hear. I'll be making some follow up videos to this as well.
Why have crew at all? Just set up your boat to be able to single-hand her, and you won't have the headaches of crew. In that way you only sail with people you know and want to be with.
Cause I enjoy sharing the journey.
@@Adventureman_Dan Do you need crew to enjoy the journey?