"The prophet muhammad (saw) is the best example to look at: If you want a wife like Aisha (RA) then you need to be like who she was married to, the prophet mohammad (SAW)" Nouman Ali Khan
@@ghazalamohsin1018 you can’t control who you love more between family. Love does not equal treatment in justice btw. Even if he loved Ayesha the most between his wives, he treated all his wives with excellence
incredible, this man is saying we should improve our marriages, we should be better to our wives, better to our husbands, be more caring, more loving, more compassionate, and still people have all this hate. just shows how little you are capable of compassion.
I love this video. I'm a girl who really hates men who look down on women. Sometimes it makes me think that all men is the same: annoying. But certainly this video is amazing,match to psychology books about man and woman I read. I'm not surprised if there are a lot of people against what he says, because it is not easy to see a matter through other gender's perspective. But I cant see anythin wrong, with a man trying to be more caring to his wife, and a woman trying to trust his husband more? :)
I simplified it further: 1) A wife provide full respect and fulfilled her husband's need. she gain love and emotional security sincerely. 2) A husband provide emotional security through lowering his gaze. he gain respect and needs fulfilled sincerely. 1 + 2 = Eternal love (Jannah)
I'm not always going to let people make mistakes. If I correct them its not supposed to be daunting or just let them make huge mistakes without telling them and being straightforward. Correcting somebody from making a mistake is not shaming or disrespecting them. Yeah and also the talk about the women was HALF as long as the talk about the men.
The UNDENIABLE truth is: Allah has created us majorly different and the wisdom lies in ACCEPTING, understanding, appreciating, and living in peace with each other while cherishing the other's differences.
what surprises me is that when the wife of Kaliph Umar was yelling at him, he did not say that honey if you yell at me i will leave you or yell back at you, rather he said she is the mother of my kids and has a right to yell at me. When complaints about the women of Makkah who were harsh in nature compared to the women in Madina, our Prophet sallalahu aihiwassalam did not say that none of you should marry them or all of you should leave them. Yes we know they have rights over us but that does not make them equal to Allah and it was our Prophet who said قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا، فإنهن خلقن من ضلع، وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه، فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته، وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج، فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “And I command you to take care of the women in a good manner for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I command you to take care of the women in a good manner.”[1] Bukhari
Mashallah. Thank you Sheikh for putting together such simple ingredients to a happy God fearing marriage. May Allah guide us all to the straight path... Ameen P.S - Sheikh, London is looking forward to your next visit
Mashallah ...i will def watch this when Allah brings me my future wife .Ameen..May Allah ease it up for those are not married and completes the half of our Deen..Ameen ya rub..and may Allah ease it up on those that are married and make them understand each other and walk each other to heaven ..Ameen ya rub.
Wota an amazing speech and clarity about relationship problem.wot all u said is absolutely ritr sit Amazing guidance.may allha bless u abundantly AMEN.
Love is greater than respect, simple example, you may respect your teacher but not have any other connection beyond that, but when you love someone like your mother you'll go to the ends of the earth for her, respect is encompassed within love but there is also something more.
He has raised some great points like nitpicking and nagging are bad for relationships but it should be noted that men and women both never want a partner who is after them nagging and making a big deal about small things.. Men women both do this not just women.. And also since when is feeding ego part of Islam or healthy relationships?? we all should know ego is like a big beast the more you feed the bigger it becomes.. Islam teaches us to be humble and if your partner, He/she is so full of themselves that they make a scene if you correct small things about wrong direction etc then what kind of Iman they got? What will they teach to their kids? Where is the humility and merciful spirit that our Prophet ﷺ taught us??
Amazing advise - one thing I wanted to add- always apologize if you think you are wrong even if you are not just say I am sorry. Hard to say but very effective
Amazing speech sir..."deep meaning and very real".useful one "god bless u" and ur tongue to preach islam more properly the same way how to u do.jazakallahuheiran.
what an amazing speech. If only all of us understand and apply this in our lives, there won't be a need to go through divorces, except for some exceptions.
Wallahi this lecture shld b a MUST to listen for all couples to b married ad those facing problemes....i sujest a copy shld b pasted on the fridge in each home. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala reward u shaikh the best of rewards.
I am proud dominant woman, that is how Allah has made me and I don't feel I have to change that to please a broken man's ego. We have been married happily 12years with 5 children alxamdulilah, in my house it takes two to make a happy home and family. I am not willing to babysit a grown man, I don't feel I have to hide my emotions and feelings, I don't have play a hopeless princess in distress waiting to be rescued😂 and If my husband says something I don't like, most of the times the response is witty. I find this lecture far from reality, sexist and completely biased Sheikh, Allah aclam, Allah is forgiven.
Afhayeenka Dumarka that’s fine if you’re a dominant women but nothing the sheikh said is sexist, he’s well read on this topic and research basis his arguments.
We all need to be humble, irrespective of gender which means no one should belittle others. We should all respect each other. Disrespecting humiliating others is a sign of arrogance.
I really enjoyed listening to your talk Dr Yasir Qadhi. I agree with all what you said with only one addition to it, that these are general guides and advises. However, relationships are much more complicated than the GENERAL guides. Sometimes cracking jokes about how your wife looks, or how your husband is lazy are fine and actually positive. I would also say that these are guides for feelings, which might not necessarily always reflect in strait forward honest actions.
I understand his point about respecting husband but wives also want respect too including love. Also then a man should be quite too suppose if wife took a wrong exit then it won’t turn into argument . Same husband has to stop nagging and choose his wordings too not to humiliate his wife in fro of his children or relatives
You are focusing on 'equality' which is the only thing ruining the world rn. Trust me this will not get any better and the world will increase in hatred and unrest if people focused everything on being 'equal'.
Lol! His speech totally focuses explicitly on the dominating factor of men. He is basically from south Asia, where this kind of relationship existed between the couples back in those ages. And about the EXIT example!! it's hilarious!!! Instead of pampering his EGO!!!! or water his EGO. Let's make a man become a good human instead!! EGO comes from SHAYTAAN !! Instead men should and women should respect each other. If someone is wrong, one should say it nicely, with positive attitude with love. I think a marriage will be good if the TONE of any conversation has kindness and love (patience ) FROM BOTH THE PARTNERS!!
nature :), do you know this word? He is talking about something natural. He means that both sides need to make great efforts to have a happy family. All he tries to say is men and women's nature.
Firstly, please watch the video carefully. :-). Then you will find sense my words and other comments, which state the same thing I am stating. Then, read my comment again. He is presenting his IDEAS on a Bad NATURES which men possess, his speech is such that he is WATERING that nature by asking to compromise/pamper those. ( watch for the driving exit Example). I do like Yasir Qadhi, in his other lectures. But, here he is interpreting something which is not sounding right. And that's fine. He is a human being. Well, we should watch and try to follow the natures of our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), instead of focusing on some ideas of someone else's perspective. In this topic, I would love to listen to Mufti Menk! He is awesome! And P.S I like Yasi Qadhi. He is just a bit not right here.
Shehraan Rana if it is men’s nature, how bad it is? And you think if you can change it it is not natural at all. And want to be loved, taken care of and cherished are good nature?
@@MSRana-ub5gr I agree with you!! I cringed a lot watching this. 100% w everything ur saying and was just searching the comments to see if someone else thought the same. Alhamdullilah finally found ur comment. This kinda grossed me out. I’m not going to feed anyone’s ego :,D everything should be done w respect and love on both sides. Thanks for ur comment sister.
Ego is the lower Nafs - the animalistic tendencies which need to be tamed. You are so right about what you said. Let's not pretend ego is a good thing. It is a test from Allah that we shouldn't feed into. We shouldnt allow men to do what their base desires control them to do. It will lead to dystopia. Ego wars. Death. Chaos.
Men also want to feel loved from our spouses and Men also like to respect their spouses . So IMO, love, trust, respect, loyalty everything applies to both genders in marriage. But what the speaker says is correct. Respect and love shud me maintained in marriage. But it is not confined to a particular gender. It applies to both genders
It really applies to a particular gender more. Understand the fact. A particular gender, 'more'. Otherwise the world would have been filled with hatred and wrongdoings such as the current times.
I have some of my friends who are educated but they have weakness and at times can not be tolerated and one must tell them. so I think sisters can tell them and help them to overcome . but do it politely with respect. I see lot of negative comments about the talk. one must realise that this a general talk. and not targeted to your own experience and issues.
Comments are loaded with hatred and biasness. Sheikh Yasir brings home nothing but the very inherent dispositions, psychology and mind- frames of the two genders. Why so much crudeness and hatred then?
Because of the influence of the 'western world'. And nobody can help them or it. Qeyamat is very near brother, its very near. I hope you are getting what i mean.
I swear what this child is saying (I happen to be nearly 50!) is 100% correct. I do this and honestly this comes true. ALWAYS! To this day!!! Try this and I promise your lives will be happier.
Its sort of a good ego. Just be wise and try to understand instead of saying whatever comes in your mind first. Otherwise the world would not have any peace at all like current times.
As Salam Aliekom What we need to know is How to Create and Maintain Healthy Relationships and Boundaries and most especially how to extricate ourselves from abusive relationships before our soul suffers too extensively. Equality comes from respect on both sides but it has to come at the beginning and continue throughout the whole relationship. Both parties like to be cared for it is an activity that must come from both men and women
all. I don't remember the last time my husband said he loves me, but I know for sure that he does and he care for me and my children very much (action speaks louder than words). My home is my safe haven, and i must live in it with comfort. If my husband lives with me like a master and servant, my life will be very miserable. I thank Allah, my creator, for giving me such a wonderful and understanding partner.
Idk about men but everything he said about women was completely wrong except near the end when he said to appreciate your wife. Of course I want to be loved, but it's not the most important thing. Women want to feel genuinely appreciated, understood and deeply cared for. We want to know that you actually care about our wellbeing. I prefer if a man cares for my wellbeing, than to be in love with me. I value friendship more than romance. Romance without companionship is a fallacy
Assalam o alaikum,, i really respect yasir qadhi and always like his talks but you are somewhat right this is humanly not always possible to be the way he describes a wife should be in not correcting the husband , it sounds like a women is a sculpture and not a human , i think men and women are both humans and humans basically share the same basic nature ....
In Quran said treats woman as a gift. Muhammad saw last time said only one word, treat your woman nicely. They even don't ego , husband respect will out questions is exaggerated talk their self made.
That's so annoying. Like men need to respect women too. Don't over exaggerate. The prophet PBUH used to get up every time his daughter stepped in the room and greet her. Like no body is gonna surrender. Ima surrender to Allah. I'm allah's servant, not a man's! I'm sorry but I feel like you're not expressing this topic properly. I feel very belittled. Good bye!
Lol Delicate male ego? are you joking? it looks like husbands get a pass on their shortcomings. Women are more intuitive and husbands should listen more to their wives instead. Stop making excuses for men as this does not help at all. Husband and wife are partners and should respect one another at all times and not allowing men to act like boys...the wrong exit is the wrong exit...that is a fact and it has nothing to do with respect! Lol
And yes, statements like this is exactly why unrest and hatred is increasing in the world. There will be no good and no peace whatsoever in such a case (for some ignorant people). Try to be wise and understand if you may.
@@wannpunman7372 are you talking about the video? Because when I watched this a decade ago, it caused me to hate men for some time. I swore I would never get married because of this. The woman who commented actually phrased it in a respectful way, so if you got offended, mens ego must be more fragile than a snowflake on a window. Shes right. Women are intuitive. We have a way of sensing things. Why did Allah give this to us if we are not allowed to use it? We can sense when there is danger. If we dont alert our husband, it may result in damage to our luves, but if we do alert him, it will damage his ego. What's more important?
Ayanle Ahmed lol i am 35 bro.. but you know brother, you are on the right track when you agree with the lecture. thing is, all feminist ideas should be rectified because Allah almight's laws must be all correct. Barakallahu fiik, nephew
Some people have sound aqidah; yet are slandered on RUclips by those who are not only less learned, but also have done less positive for the ummah than they.
i love how he mentions what the husband "deserves", and how the wife needs to give him what he deserves before he gives her what she WANTS. So the wife doesn't "deserve" anything? Anything she gets is a privilege?
@M Masti and we wonder why divorce is rampant in societies today. With your attitude, M Masti, contributes to families falling apart. But, men need to pull their socks up, and take charge in a positive way, and deserve the respect he desires. A smart woman knows how to build her husband up and guide him without him realizing she doing it.😉✌
When Islam says we should not have big egos and think highly of ourselves,it doesn't mean that we, human, does not have those tendencies. It's a human nature. Tendency in human will always exist, but human should control the bad tendency.
Brother Yasir, it's not appropriate to just label all of us men, especially the true believing Muslim men as having a huge "ego." Let me explain why, because all Praise, Honor, Power, and Glory belongs to Allah (swt) anyway, so I like myself wouldn't have an ego that's so huge, because when we Muslim men prostrate in prayer to Allah, that in itself takes away our ego, etc. And it's about doing the right thing that you know best. Just because a Muslim man likes to live his life the righteous way and do things how he likes to feel comfortable doing, that doesn't mean he has an ego. The point of the matter first and foremost is people shouldn't be so hasty in passing judgement on strangers they don't know and what does it matter to anyone else if a single or married Muslim man wants to live his personal life. It's when annoying people try to interfere and disrupt others lives Muslim or non Muslim who just keep to them selves and mind their own business. And I'm one of those slaves of Allah. This is one of many reasons I don't have any personal guy friends because I don't like wasteful drama. So when you submit to Allah, and remember Him much, with prayer and prostration in your own private manner, strictly guarding your prayer as Allah mentions in the Quran Himself, then things like arrogance, pride, haughtiness, ignorance, foolishness, and boasting are out of question and aren't displayed in those believers hearts. Only Allah knows us best, and we know ourselves better than others, no matter what assumptions people may have about us. And there's slander out there too, so Allah will deal justly with those people as well.
Jazak Allah khair. Efforts of both sides, teamwork, etc, yeah, it is ma sha Allah totally logical, and I guess I have the opportunity to test the theory, because I think I can never get my husband to watch this video. Or any previous videos about this topic. I tried. So it is totally up to me.
+Ahmed Al-Salahi I like to hear any one man who says 'he would marry someone who is not attractive to him because beauty goes with time'. Now what is physical beauty depends on individual man. i think it is the gateway to his heart and with chemistry and other things can lead to marriage, this is just from my observation.
This is a very informative and useful talk. Every couple should listen to it and try to implement. However the background humming sound was very annoying and distracting .It should not be there .there is no need for it . so that one can pay full Attention to the speaker.
Would the man feel disrespected if another man told him he took the wrong exit? I’m thinking NO, so why is it that when a woman corrects the man, he feels disrespected? Could it be that man views a woman as beneath him, while he views other men as his equal so is more willing to accept correction from a man? If this is indeed the case, we have bigger problems.
what if husband doesnt want to be a saviour but demands woman to take care of things, still dont trust she can do it, makes fun and is nagging, controlling, scolding??? and he wants me to nagg him and pester, but i hate doing that, its not in my nature. it makes me feel very unhappy. and he cant understand why im reacting so bad, he denies my feelings.
With Due Respect, please stop justifying desi mens' ego with your lecture..I respect you a lot but that does not mean that I have to agree with whatever u say.. Rather then protecting male ego why dont you use Example of our beloved prophet who was so kind to humans including non believers, His wives and even to animals... And talking about the Exit thing... What if his boss tells him, or his brother, or his.mother that he is wrong.. is he going to act the same way ? I am sorry..pls listen to Nauman Ali Khan and Maulana Tariq Jameel what they say about Husband and wife relationship
week sunday, my husband put our summer curtains up and he did it upside down, goes what, when we found out, my children and i laughed so much that he joined us in laughing. There is nothing wrong in making mistakes, it means we are human and we are not perfect. We must not take every little thing,our EGO so serious, ME, ME, ME, or I AM THE MAN all the time. My husband is well respected and calling him to find out where he is or laughing at his funny mistake does not mean he is disrespected at
Did you all ever hear of Rasul صلى الله عليه وسلم celebrating a particular day as “marriage anniversary?” Do some people think they are better than Rasul صلى الله عليه وسلم ? All the days belong to ALLAH Alone. A person should treat their spouse well every single day.
Men should avoid marrying women who are better than them. This way, they will not be intimidated and always feel like a man. Women, marry men who are better than you and you will never have to hide your strengths.
Its wrong thinking, u can marry but u shoud have real respect and love then there wii be no problems at all, and always keep in mind after marriage think as we forget saying i, i mean you have diffrence between both.
Tahir if you aren't confident of the position given to you by our creator, that's not our fault. Wake up and smell the coffee, we are equals with different responsabilities before God and our society. Not better or worse just for a gender.
my everything, and I love him to death.My husband has a daily routine. He goes to work in the morning, comes back around 530pm, spend some time with us and then goes to the mosque for maghrib and isha. If I don't see him come back from work by 630pm and he does not call, which he usually does, i call him to find out if everything is ok, and that does not mean i'm bothering him, it means I love him and care and i'm afraid that something might have happened to the only man i know as a woman. Last
Very informative and useful talk every couple should listen to . However the background humming sound is very distracting and and annoying. No need for it you should not be there so that one can pay full attention to the speaker, thank you .
Have you ever been in a car with a driver who underestimates the distance between cars or who overtakes and takes risks that are potentially life threatening? I believe a lot of wives are dead because they kept quiet and allowed their husbands to learn from his mistake. Sometimes you dont get a second chance. If a mans ego is so fragile he xant accept correction from his wife and partner this is crazy. So what about sex? Does a wife say nothing and not help her husband learn now to satisfy her? This is just a miserable life for a wife.
I love you for the sake of allah, brother Yasir. And I have watch and love your sermons but i disagree with some of the things you say in this talk. Marriage is a partnership, is not a boss and servant relationship. My husband will be furious if i knowingly let him to make a mistake. I do correct him whenever needed and there is nothing wrong with that. It does not mean I'm his mother or disrespectful to him at all. In intact, the father of my children, my soul mate, is my hero, my champion, &
09:05 is actually so stupid that I stopped watching the video. Correcting someone does not mean you do not respect the other. People make mistakes, therefore we should correct them. Only Allaah is perfect.
and besides, men and women are definitely equal, not the SAME, but equal, ex: 2+4 is equal to, but not the exact same as 3+3, but they are... EQUAL.. their roles are different, but equal.
Dr. Yasir Qadhi meant to say when she trats him like a man he becomes a man, just pointing out his mistake- at the time of 08:32 of the clip when he said when she treats him like a woman he will become a man. He should have said when she treats him like a man he will become a man. This just shows us that he's human and that every one makes mistakes, may ALLAH bless him & help him in what ever dawa that he dose. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MY BROTHER!!!
I'm not sure that u have actuallyy seen this videoo.. he didn't sy that mns are superior than woman but tht they are difrrent nd that is fact.. he said that woman should lwys feed her husband ego to make him feel better,and shouldnt treat him as child and ng ll dy long. nd he sid to man that they should spend more time with their wifes and show them love,be there for them listen them and support them. praise their look and effort they do to.
Yes truly great lecture. But, marriage will NEVER be for me, I mean forget it period. I'm so specially reserved in my life, that marriage is simply a waste of my precious time and life. Life is short, the Hereafter is much better and longer lasting, so I'll just wait for my eternal marriage in the Hereafter inshaAllah, now that's certainty of Faith. You can't have everything in this life, and there's consequences for every action you do in this present life. I want absolute perfection, so my love is in the Hereafter. Every girl I deny my interest for and lower my gaze and look away and avoid dating which is already prohibited in Islam and never will do, and stay far away from a heatwave that can inflict pain and suffering, then I won't have any serious drama in my life, that's for sure.
The prophet saw. said that whoever can marry, should get married. Plus celibracy is haram in Islam. We as muslims should follow the sunnah of the prophet pbuh and he got married.
"The prophet muhammad (saw) is the best example to look at: If you want a wife like Aisha (RA) then you need to be like who she was married to, the prophet mohammad (SAW)" Nouman Ali Khan
Nice
@Jeffrey Maurice l
But he had multiple wives. Why only love Ayesha? Aren't you supposed to treat all your wives equally? So why do we only hear of his love for Ayesha?
@@ghazalamohsin1018 you can’t control who you love more between family. Love does not equal treatment in justice btw. Even if he loved Ayesha the most between his wives, he treated all his wives with excellence
Sallallahu alaihi wasallam 🌸
This religion is so beautiful. I am amazed every single, and more i realize how perfect is my creator. Subhan Allahi wabihumdihi, Subhan Allahil Azeem
incredible, this man is saying we should improve our marriages, we should be better to our wives, better to our husbands, be more caring, more loving, more compassionate, and still people have all this hate.
just shows how little you are capable of compassion.
nasy may Allah guide us all.
I love this video. I'm a girl who really hates men who look down on women. Sometimes it makes me think that all men is the same: annoying. But certainly this video is amazing,match to psychology books about man and woman I read. I'm not surprised if there are a lot of people against what he says, because it is not easy to see a matter through other gender's perspective. But I cant see anythin wrong, with a man trying to be more caring to his wife, and a woman trying to trust his husband more? :)
I simplified it further:
1) A wife provide full respect and fulfilled her husband's need. she gain love and emotional security sincerely.
2) A husband provide emotional security through lowering his gaze. he gain respect and needs fulfilled sincerely.
1 + 2 = Eternal love (Jannah)
Jazaku Allahu keir Dr. Qadhi, WE MUST BE PROUD OUR RELIGION.
I'm not always going to let people make mistakes. If I correct them its not supposed to be daunting or just let them make huge mistakes without telling them and being straightforward. Correcting somebody from making a mistake is not shaming or disrespecting them. Yeah and also the talk about the women was HALF as long as the talk about the men.
My brother Yasir Qadi well said that is all i have to say Alhamdullilah. May Allah keeps you safe in sha allah
The UNDENIABLE truth is: Allah has created us majorly different and the wisdom lies in ACCEPTING, understanding, appreciating, and living in peace with each other while cherishing the other's differences.
what surprises me is that when the wife of Kaliph Umar was yelling at him, he did not say that honey if you yell at me i will leave you or yell back at you, rather he said she is the mother of my kids and has a right to yell at me. When complaints about the women of Makkah who were harsh in nature compared to the women in Madina, our Prophet sallalahu aihiwassalam did not say that none of you should marry them or all of you should leave them. Yes we know they have rights over us but that does not make them equal to Allah and it was our Prophet who said قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا، فإنهن خلقن من ضلع، وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه، فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته، وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج، فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “And I command you to take care of the women in a good manner for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I command you to take care of the women in a good manner.”[1] Bukhari
Mashallah. Thank you Sheikh for putting together such simple ingredients to a happy God fearing marriage. May Allah guide us all to the straight path... Ameen
P.S - Sheikh, London is looking forward to your next visit
Nor all men and women are the same. Its important to remember this.
Mashallah ...i will def watch this when Allah brings me my future wife .Ameen..May Allah ease it up for those are not married and completes the half of our Deen..Ameen ya rub..and may Allah ease it up on those that are married and make them understand each other and walk each other to heaven ..Ameen ya rub.
Wota an amazing speech and clarity about relationship problem.wot all u said is absolutely ritr sit
Amazing guidance.may allha bless u abundantly AMEN.
Love is greater than respect, simple example, you may respect your teacher but not have any other connection beyond that, but when you love someone like your mother you'll go to the ends of the earth for her, respect is encompassed within love but there is also something more.
Love changes over time. And respect does bore love
Life is too short to chase anything other than Jannah ❤. Listening to it in June in 2024. This lecture is like a 💎 gem.
He has raised some great points like nitpicking and nagging are bad for relationships but it should be noted that men and women both never want a partner who is after them nagging and making a big deal about small things.. Men women both do this not just women..
And also since when is feeding ego part of Islam or healthy relationships?? we all should know ego is like a big beast the more you feed the bigger it becomes.. Islam teaches us to be humble and if your partner, He/she is so full of themselves that they make a scene if you correct small things about wrong direction etc then what kind of Iman they got? What will they teach to their kids? Where is the humility and merciful spirit that our Prophet ﷺ taught us??
Masha Allah! This is totally right.
Amazing advise - one thing I wanted to add- always apologize if you think you are wrong even if you are not just say I am sorry. Hard to say but very effective
Fantastic talk. This scholar is amazing!
Amazing speech sir..."deep meaning and very real".useful one "god bless u" and ur tongue to preach islam more properly the same way how to u do.jazakallahuheiran.
what an amazing speech. If only all of us understand and apply this in our lives, there won't be a need to go through divorces, except for some exceptions.
Wallahi this lecture shld b a MUST to listen for all couples to b married ad those facing problemes....i sujest a copy shld b pasted on the fridge in each home. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala reward u shaikh the best of rewards.
I am proud dominant woman, that is how Allah has made me and I don't feel I have to change that to please a broken man's ego. We have been married happily 12years with 5 children alxamdulilah, in my house it takes two to make a happy home and family. I am not willing to babysit a grown man, I don't feel I have to hide my emotions and feelings, I don't have play a hopeless princess in distress waiting to be rescued😂 and If my husband says something I don't like, most of the times the response is witty. I find this lecture far from reality, sexist and completely biased Sheikh, Allah aclam, Allah is forgiven.
Afhayeenka Dumarka that’s fine if you’re a dominant women but nothing the sheikh said is sexist, he’s well read on this topic and research basis his arguments.
What specific part of his talk you disagree with? That a wife shouldn't respect her husband or that husband shouldn't love his wife?
@khalid, just ignore such ignorant people. Remember i said 'people' and not 'women' otherwise i would have been deemed as a 'sexist' too lol. SeXisT~~
Mufti Ismail Menk is just fair talking my favourite
Dr. Qadhi first talks about man rights....
We all need to be humble, irrespective of gender which means no one should belittle others. We should all respect each other. Disrespecting humiliating others is a sign of arrogance.
Great! You may be blessed and continue blesses! Masha Allah, love you for Allah's Sake
Excellent video! Like marriage counseling but free! What more can we ask for? Heart felt THANK YOU.
I really enjoyed listening to your talk Dr Yasir Qadhi. I agree with all what you said with only one addition to it, that these are general guides and advises. However, relationships are much more complicated than the GENERAL guides. Sometimes cracking jokes about how your wife looks, or how your husband is lazy are fine and actually positive. I would also say that these are guides for feelings, which might not necessarily always reflect in strait forward honest actions.
Making fun of the spouse IN PUBLIC is bad.
You're correct
I understand his point about respecting husband but wives also want respect too including love.
Also then a man should be quite too suppose if wife took a wrong exit then it won’t turn into argument .
Same husband has to stop nagging and choose his wordings too not to humiliate his wife in fro of his children or relatives
chocobonita no one is here to judge anybody that’s Allah Subhan Tallah is the creator who can judge not us
@chocobonita can you provide reference please ? So what's your solution please enlighten us with your gread wisdom and insight.😂😂🙏🙏
mokhan999 🤣🤣🤣
You are focusing on 'equality' which is the only thing ruining the world rn. Trust me this will not get any better and the world will increase in hatred and unrest if people focused everything on being 'equal'.
Mashallah a very great and well presented speech.
Lol! His speech totally focuses explicitly on the dominating factor of men. He is basically from south Asia, where this kind of relationship existed between the couples back in those ages. And about the EXIT example!! it's hilarious!!! Instead of pampering his EGO!!!! or water his EGO. Let's make a man become a good human instead!! EGO comes from SHAYTAAN !! Instead men should and women should respect each other. If someone is wrong, one should say it nicely, with positive attitude with love.
I think a marriage will be good if the TONE of any conversation has kindness and love (patience ) FROM BOTH THE PARTNERS!!
nature :), do you know this word? He is talking about something natural. He means that both sides need to make great efforts to have a happy family. All he tries to say is men and women's nature.
Firstly, please watch the video carefully. :-). Then you will find sense my words and other comments, which state the same thing I am stating. Then, read my comment again. He is presenting his IDEAS on a Bad NATURES which men possess, his speech is such that he is WATERING that nature by asking to compromise/pamper those. ( watch for the driving exit Example).
I do like Yasir Qadhi, in his other lectures. But, here he is interpreting something which is not sounding right. And that's fine. He is a human being. Well, we should watch and try to follow the natures of our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), instead of focusing on some ideas of someone else's perspective. In this topic, I would love to listen to Mufti Menk! He is awesome!
And P.S I like Yasi Qadhi. He is just a bit not right here.
Shehraan Rana if it is men’s nature, how bad it is? And you think if you can change it it is not natural at all. And want to be loved, taken care of and cherished are good nature?
@@MSRana-ub5gr I agree with you!! I cringed a lot watching this. 100% w everything ur saying and was just searching the comments to see if someone else thought the same. Alhamdullilah finally found ur comment. This kinda grossed me out. I’m not going to feed anyone’s ego :,D everything should be done w respect and love on both sides. Thanks for ur comment sister.
Ego is the lower Nafs - the animalistic tendencies which need to be tamed. You are so right about what you said. Let's not pretend ego is a good thing. It is a test from Allah that we shouldn't feed into. We shouldnt allow men to do what their base desires control them to do. It will lead to dystopia. Ego wars. Death. Chaos.
Men also want to feel loved from our spouses and Men also like to respect their spouses . So IMO, love, trust, respect, loyalty everything applies to both genders in marriage. But what the speaker says is correct. Respect and love shud me maintained in marriage.
But it is not confined to a particular gender. It applies to both genders
True that, brother!👍🏼
It really applies to a particular gender more. Understand the fact. A particular gender, 'more'. Otherwise the world would have been filled with hatred and wrongdoings such as the current times.
Jazakumullahu Hairan,
Very informative Speech,
Mashallah !
I have some of my friends who are educated but they have weakness and at times can not be tolerated and one must tell them. so I think sisters can tell them and help them to overcome . but do it politely with respect. I see lot of negative comments about the talk. one must realise that this a general talk. and not targeted to your own experience and issues.
So powerful Subhan'Allah. I miss old yq
Why did he say 50/50??? Sarcasm right?
Celebrate anniversary random days you like,. Without making eid, multiple times a year. Not once a year we only have 2 eids
Comments are loaded with hatred and biasness. Sheikh Yasir brings home nothing but the very inherent dispositions, psychology and mind- frames of the two genders. Why so much crudeness and hatred then?
Because of the influence of the 'western world'. And nobody can help them or it. Qeyamat is very near brother, its very near. I hope you are getting what i mean.
mashallah so beautiful lecture jazak allahu khyran , rich info I learnt from you , may allah reward you
I swear what this child is saying (I happen to be nearly 50!) is 100% correct. I do this and honestly this comes true. ALWAYS! To this day!!! Try this and I promise your lives will be happier.
Ma Sha Allah brother. Simply Wonderful!
Respect & Love must go to both side equally. Coz prophet PBUH said""Man has rights over woman and Woman has rights over Man as well""...
Beautiful lecture Mashallah
Islam says- do not have big egos and think highly of yourself. So many things wrong with this talk!!
Its sort of a good ego. Just be wise and try to understand instead of saying whatever comes in your mind first. Otherwise the world would not have any peace at all like current times.
As Salam Aliekom
What we need to know is How to Create and Maintain Healthy Relationships and Boundaries and most especially how to extricate ourselves from abusive relationships before our soul suffers too extensively.
Equality comes from respect on both sides but it has to come at the beginning and continue throughout the whole relationship.
Both parties like to be cared for it is an activity that must come from both men and women
Sexual health Education is a large part of ensuring respect in and out of the bedroom!
It's so funny. U spoke abt what men want for so long, and then wanted to touch on what women want.
Dalia Rana sister I think he explained both sides pretty well..not sure why u disagree tho
The best lecture of marriage life Masha'Allah
all. I don't remember the last time my husband said he loves me, but I know for sure that he does and he care for me and my children very much (action speaks louder than words). My home is my safe haven, and i must live in it with comfort. If my husband lives with me like a master and servant, my life will be very miserable. I thank Allah, my creator, for giving me such a wonderful and understanding partner.
MashaAllah!
Very good advise. All should know. thank you for explaining to both Genders.
I wonder if Yasir fixed the leaky faucet.
😂
He is the leaky faucet, so much drip 💧
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Idk about men but everything he said about women was completely wrong except near the end when he said to appreciate your wife. Of course I want to be loved, but it's not the most important thing. Women want to feel genuinely appreciated, understood and deeply cared for. We want to know that you actually care about our wellbeing. I prefer if a man cares for my wellbeing, than to be in love with me. I value friendship more than romance. Romance without companionship is a fallacy
Jazakhaallah
Jazzakallahu khair 🌹🌹🌹
jazakumullahu hairan, very informative.
Ma shaa Allah and very funny as well. Very understandable, jazak Allah kheyr ya sheykh
how do you know what a wife wants? a wife also wants respect
Love is greater than respect IMO
there is no love without respect did u get it ! ,respect is include within love obviously !
Assalam o alaikum,, i really respect yasir qadhi and always like his talks but you are somewhat right this is humanly not always possible to be the way he describes a wife should be in not correcting the husband , it sounds like a women is a sculpture and not a human , i think men and women are both humans and humans basically share the same basic nature ....
They dont share the same basic nature, only if you were wise enough to understand that instead of propagating that both genders are the same.
women also need respect please understand it
sana abbasi True love goes with respect sister
Alhamdulilah Allah makes everyone understand, and also women needs respect to please .
sana abbasi R Shefa A basic level of mutual respect is necessary in all relations, even between parents and children and teachers and students.
In Quran said treats woman as a gift. Muhammad saw last time said only one word, treat your woman nicely. They even don't ego , husband respect will out questions is exaggerated talk their self made.
Exactly woman are more respectful in Islam. They are over look that part,pick what part they like.
Mash'Allah!
That's so annoying. Like men need to respect women too. Don't over exaggerate. The prophet PBUH used to get up every time his daughter stepped in the room and greet her. Like no body is gonna surrender. Ima surrender to Allah. I'm allah's servant, not a man's! I'm sorry but I feel like you're not expressing this topic properly. I feel very belittled. Good bye!
1) Respect vs. Continual love, cherish, for wife..
2) qawwam- who takes care, (prostration of respect)
Recommended Book: a surrendered wife
Lol Delicate male ego? are you joking? it looks like husbands get a pass on their shortcomings. Women are more intuitive and husbands should listen more to their wives instead. Stop making excuses for men as this does not help at all. Husband and wife are partners and should respect one another at all times and not allowing men to act like boys...the wrong exit is the wrong exit...that is a fact and it has nothing to do with respect! Lol
And yes, statements like this is exactly why unrest and hatred is increasing in the world. There will be no good and no peace whatsoever in such a case (for some ignorant people). Try to be wise and understand if you may.
@@wannpunman7372 are you talking about the video? Because when I watched this a decade ago, it caused me to hate men for some time. I swore I would never get married because of this.
The woman who commented actually phrased it in a respectful way, so if you got offended, mens ego must be more fragile than a snowflake on a window. Shes right. Women are intuitive. We have a way of sensing things. Why did Allah give this to us if we are not allowed to use it? We can sense when there is danger. If we dont alert our husband, it may result in damage to our luves, but if we do alert him, it will damage his ego. What's more important?
This guy didn't explain anything right, just dis respecting the women!!
Mashaa Allah. I had heard the same messages from another sheikh..
Ayanle Ahmed yup.. and are you a sister too?
Ayanle Ahmed lol i am 35 bro.. but you know brother, you are on the right track when you agree with the lecture. thing is, all feminist ideas should be rectified because Allah almight's laws must be all correct. Barakallahu fiik, nephew
Wow sheikh yasir...kudos to u
Jazak Allah Khair..
If the woman can't say what she want to say even though she wrong and man can't handle it maybe they were not meant for each other
Not all people are wise enough to understand how the world works, except follow the 'west' in whatever they say..... 'eQuaLiTy'
Some people they are eloquent speaker, they won people heart but what most importantly check their aqidah.
Some people have sound aqidah; yet are slandered on RUclips by those who are not only less learned, but also have done less positive for the ummah than they.
i love how he mentions what the husband "deserves", and how the wife needs to give him what he deserves before he gives her what she WANTS. So the wife doesn't "deserve" anything? Anything she gets is a privilege?
@M Masti and we wonder why divorce is rampant in societies today. With your attitude, M Masti, contributes to families falling apart. But, men need to pull their socks up, and take charge in a positive way, and deserve the respect he desires. A smart woman knows how to build her husband up and guide him without him realizing she doing it.😉✌
When Islam says we should not have big egos and think highly of ourselves,it doesn't mean that we, human, does not have those tendencies. It's a human nature. Tendency in human will always exist, but human should control the bad tendency.
Brother Yasir, it's not appropriate to just label all of us men, especially the true believing Muslim men as having a huge "ego." Let me explain why, because all Praise, Honor, Power, and Glory belongs to Allah (swt) anyway, so I like myself wouldn't have an ego that's so huge, because when we Muslim men prostrate in prayer to Allah, that in itself takes away our ego, etc. And it's about doing the right thing that you know best. Just because a Muslim man likes to live his life the righteous way and do things how he likes to feel comfortable doing, that doesn't mean he has an ego. The point of the matter first and foremost is people shouldn't be so hasty in passing judgement on strangers they don't know and what does it matter to anyone else if a single or married Muslim man wants to live his personal life. It's when annoying people try to interfere and disrupt others lives Muslim or non Muslim who just keep to them selves and mind their own business. And I'm one of those slaves of Allah. This is one of many reasons I don't have any personal guy friends because I don't like wasteful drama. So when you submit to Allah, and remember Him much, with prayer and prostration in your own private manner, strictly guarding your prayer as Allah mentions in the Quran Himself, then things like arrogance, pride, haughtiness, ignorance, foolishness, and boasting are out of question and aren't displayed in those believers hearts. Only Allah knows us best, and we know ourselves better than others, no matter what assumptions people may have about us. And there's slander out there too, so Allah will deal justly with those people as well.
Jazak Allah khair. Efforts of both sides, teamwork, etc, yeah, it is ma sha Allah totally logical, and I guess I have the opportunity to test the theory, because I think I can never get my husband to watch this video. Or any previous videos about this topic. I tried. So it is totally up to me.
Good talk
Great solution first humanity
very very crucial!
Men want beauty and Women want to hear sincere romantic words from her man, its that simple.
but beauty goes with time ... we are not that materialistic as you think
+Ahmed Al-Salahi I like to hear any one man who says 'he would marry someone who is not attractive to him because beauty goes with time'. Now what is physical beauty depends on individual man. i think it is the gateway to his heart and with chemistry and other things can lead to marriage, this is just from my observation.
yes.. a lot of others make beauty the most important factor
.
Lovely speach
Everything is true 10
MashaAllah Yazakallah Khairan
This is a very informative and useful talk. Every couple should listen to it and try to implement. However the background humming sound was very annoying and distracting .It should not be there .there is no need for it . so that one can pay full Attention to the speaker.
Jazakallah
Would the man feel disrespected if another man told him he took the wrong exit? I’m thinking NO, so why is it that when a woman corrects the man, he feels disrespected? Could it be that man views a woman as beneath him, while he views other men as his equal so is more willing to accept correction from a man? If this is indeed the case, we have bigger problems.
20 minutes on what women should and shouldn't do in a marriage, and 7 minutes on men?
what if husband doesnt want to be a saviour but demands woman to take care of things, still dont trust she can do it, makes fun and is nagging, controlling, scolding??? and he wants me to nagg him and pester, but i hate doing that, its not in my nature. it makes me feel very unhappy. and he cant understand why im reacting so bad, he denies my feelings.
You got to talk openly with him
Women also wants respect not only love😕
With Due Respect, please stop justifying desi mens' ego with your lecture..I respect you a lot but that does not mean that I have to agree with whatever u say.. Rather then protecting male ego why dont you use Example of our beloved prophet who was so kind to humans including non believers, His wives and even to animals... And talking about the Exit thing... What if his boss tells him, or his brother, or his.mother that he is wrong.. is he going to act the same way ? I am sorry..pls listen to Nauman Ali Khan and Maulana Tariq Jameel what they say about Husband and wife relationship
Dear he is describing the exact psychology of man and woman. Try to understand
week sunday, my husband put our summer curtains up and he did it upside down, goes what, when we found out, my children and i laughed so much that he joined us in laughing. There is nothing wrong in making mistakes, it means we are human and we are not perfect. We must not take every little thing,our EGO so serious, ME, ME, ME, or I AM THE MAN all the time. My husband is well respected and calling him to find out where he is or laughing at his funny mistake does not mean he is disrespected at
Did you all ever hear of Rasul صلى الله عليه وسلم
celebrating a particular day as “marriage anniversary?”
Do some people think they are better than Rasul صلى الله عليه وسلم ?
All the days belong to ALLAH Alone.
A person should treat their spouse well every single day.
SunhanAllah
Men should avoid marrying women who are better than them. This way, they will not be intimidated and always feel like a man. Women, marry men who are better than you and you will never have to hide your strengths.
Its wrong thinking, u can marry but u shoud have real respect and love then there wii be no problems at all, and always keep in mind after marriage think as we forget saying i, i mean you have diffrence between both.
+arieljm2
why would you used the word better! ? you just started very wrong right there
my comment is in relation to muslim men & woman,so all muslim women are better than muslim men wdy
Tahir, being ruled by is one thing, "better" is way another completely different.
Tahir if you aren't confident of the position given to you by our creator, that's not our fault. Wake up and smell the coffee, we are equals with different responsabilities before God and our society. Not better or worse just for a gender.
my everything, and I love him to death.My husband has a daily routine. He goes to work in the morning, comes back around 530pm, spend some time with us and then goes to the mosque for maghrib and isha. If I don't see him come back from work by 630pm and he does not call, which he usually does, i call him to find out if everything is ok, and that does not mean i'm bothering him, it means I love him and care and i'm afraid that something might have happened to the only man i know as a woman. Last
Just know you are a great woman, i pray for your happiness. :D
Very informative and useful talk every couple should listen to . However the background humming sound is very distracting and and annoying. No need for it you should not be there so that one can pay full attention to the speaker, thank you .
Have you ever been in a car with a driver who underestimates the distance between cars or who overtakes and takes risks that are potentially life threatening? I believe a lot of wives are dead because they kept quiet and allowed their husbands to learn from his mistake. Sometimes you dont get a second chance. If a mans ego is so fragile he xant accept correction from his wife and partner this is crazy. So what about sex? Does a wife say nothing and not help her husband learn now to satisfy her? This is just a miserable life for a wife.
I love you for the sake of allah, brother Yasir. And I have watch and love your sermons but i disagree with some of the things you say in this talk. Marriage is a partnership, is not a boss and servant relationship. My husband will be furious if i knowingly let him to make a mistake. I do correct him whenever needed and there is nothing wrong with that. It does not mean I'm his mother or disrespectful to him at all. In intact, the father of my children, my soul mate, is my hero, my champion, &
I agree with you
09:05 is actually so stupid that I stopped watching the video. Correcting someone does not mean you do not respect the other. People make mistakes, therefore we should correct them. Only Allaah is perfect.
A. the way you think me are illogical, you may appear illogical to men. To must give in order to recieve
You didn't see 14:32 where he said "I'm not saying you always be quiet and never point out a mistake," and then he clarifies his position.
and besides, men and women are definitely equal, not the SAME, but equal, ex: 2+4 is equal to, but not the exact same as 3+3, but they are... EQUAL.. their roles are different, but equal.
Dr. Yasir Qadhi meant to say when she trats him like a man he becomes a man, just pointing out his mistake- at the time of 08:32 of the clip when he said when she treats him like a woman he will become a man. He should have said when she treats him like a man he will become a man. This just shows us that he's human and that every one makes mistakes, may ALLAH bless him & help him in what ever dawa that he dose. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MY BROTHER!!!
I'm not sure that u have actuallyy seen this videoo.. he didn't sy that mns are superior than woman but tht they are difrrent nd that is fact.. he said that woman should lwys feed her husband ego to make him feel better,and shouldnt treat him as child and ng ll dy long. nd he sid to man that they should spend more time with their wifes and show them love,be there for them listen them and support them. praise their look and effort they do to.
Hhhhhh Good to know
I dont think Yasir Qadhi is a good counsellor in Family Matters .
Yes truly great lecture. But, marriage will NEVER be for me, I mean forget it period. I'm so specially reserved in my life, that marriage is simply a waste of my precious time and life. Life is short, the Hereafter is much better and longer lasting, so I'll just wait for my eternal marriage in the Hereafter inshaAllah, now that's certainty of Faith. You can't have everything in this life, and there's consequences for every action you do in this present life. I want absolute perfection, so my love is in the Hereafter. Every girl I deny my interest for and lower my gaze and look away and avoid dating which is already prohibited in Islam and never will do, and stay far away from a heatwave that can inflict pain and suffering, then I won't have any serious drama in my life, that's for sure.
The prophet saw. said that whoever can marry, should get married. Plus celibracy is haram in Islam. We as muslims should follow the sunnah of the prophet pbuh and he got married.
Celibacy is not allowed. You are meant to get married