Fist of all your hair is beautiful. I subscribed because of how real you are. It takes a lot of courage to stand your ground. I think being true to who you are is the most important thing anyone can do. I enjoyed this vid because of the realism. Sending good vibes your way.
Haha, thank you. Need to start trimming it soon, it hasn't gotten longer for years cause I've just straight up never done any maintenance on it, and I like the idea of having waist length hair one day. And I really appreciate your words Chris. I got into youtube for exactly what you're describing there, so it means a lot that people are getting that vibe from my own videos. Thanks for the good vibes. Hope you have a nice day.
Yeah I remember mate. I appreciate the support, and it touches my heart when people say my videos helped them. I plan on keeping doing them for many years to come and hopefully I'm starting to turn a corner and will be able to be more consistent with them from now on. Guess we'll see.
Thanks for making this video man. I try to go with the flow and avoid confrontation, but I've found this past year that sometimes people start thinking they can just walk all over you and you must assert yourself. The message in this video is one people need to hear.
My pleasure mate, I had to do it for my own mental well being and I hope that others that relate to it get something out of it. It's a strange thing when you get in the habit of letting things slide, because it means that you need to work harder to assert yourself than you would of done if you'd just bit the bullet and done it in the first place. I'm struggling with the details of my current situation and how to assert myself in a way that doesn't just cause negativity in my life, but the fundamental point is that I need more emotional space than what I currently have and it's ok for me to feel that way and to start to act on it, regardless of what others feel about it. I hope that you find your way with your situation mate. Take care, and good luck to you with it.
Hey man, just wanna say that your videos have helped me a lot as I'm struggling with tinnitus had it for around 6 months and it destroyed me mentally, near enough to suicide. After a couple months it seemed to get a bit better and I was researching more about it to try and reduce it. I was starting to feel normal again, but I had a recent spike that really fucked me and my life up even more and I found your videos while I was going through it. They gave me hope as I saw that you can get better and that I can get over this, I just need to stay strong and give it time. Keep up the videos man, sending some good vibes your way :)
Thanks mate. I know exactly what you mean, I was at the suicidal stage at one point. It means more than I can say that my videos have helped you get through that stage, and I hope that you're making good progress. Best of luck to you, and thanks again. Take care.
Gray, I am sorry you have been through a really rough time, truly. I appreciate you being willing to be vulnerable and honest. That is extremely hard. We are going through some absolutely excruciating situations in our family right now. Everyday is like walking through hell. I keep praying and trying to have faith that we will find the answers we need desperately. You hang tough man! I don't want you to think I am weird. Just a couple of compliments. Your hair is beautiful and I love the sound of your rich voice. Lovely... Stay strong...we all have to, or we won't make it. Blessings, Pam
It's hard for me to do, but youtube is a good outlet for it because the only people that will watch long enough to see it are those that will relate. I felt a lot better after making this video. I'm sorry to hear about your family's struggles. Pain is a part of life, but it's never truly permanent. Good times will come again soon enough if we just keep going and I'm sure that you will find your way soon enough. Thanks for the compliments, I don't think they're weird, haha. Take care Pamela.
@@Grays_Plays I never thought of RUclips being a place to do this. I figured it would be a chance for people to crucify you. People can be so cruel sometimes. I have been really blessed watching different reactions from several people. It helps me get through these very tough times. Thanks for your encouragement Gray. Catch you later, blessings always.
@@pamela1144 Oh they can be, but only to people with interesting enough videos to try to pick apart. I always viewed haters and negative comments as a sign that my videos were getting noticed by a wider audience than what normally reach to be honest, and that they were a good sign that my channel was growing rather than something to actually worry about. I think personally that the only time youtubers can expect to get no negative comments is if their videos are either not viewed enough, or are just plain not interesting enough to comment on. If there's anything at all worth commenting on and enough people see it then sooner or later someone is going to be a prat towards you on here, that's just how it is. Says more about them than you or me though. I'm glad to hear you're getting some relief watching different reaction videos on here. I had a tinnitus spike a few years ago that really left me struggling and I found a similar relief watching gaming videos, so I can completely relate. That's how I wound up getting into youtube in the first place actually. Pleasure talking with you, and good luck with everything Pamela.
Hey Gray, I'm kinda late for this, but I want to let you know that I appreciate what you do in RUclips: answering comments of subscribers and being honest, something that most people do not do. You are sincere and remind me that I'm not alone, which helps me to alleviate stress. I want to let you know that you can always count on me. I will keep supporting your channel and hope you can solve all your problems.
Already answered this comment in my Replying To Comments 2 video, but I'm very touched by your words mate and I wanted to take the time to write a proper response to let you know. Thank you. I'm also incredibly pleased that you get some comfort and help with stress from my videos, as it really can be a killer and I know how much videos on youtube can help with that, as I got a lot of help in that way when I was really struggling with a few things in my own life. I enjoy talking with my subscribers more than anything else with my channel and I strive to reply to everyone that I can, and it's comments like yours that really make it worth the time it takes to do it these days with how many I get. Thank you for the support, and best of luck to you with whatever problems or stresses you might be facing in your own life. Take care.
I love how honest you are. And don't worry about change, you talk a lot about how you have changed in bad ways like getting angry faster. but there are probably also a lot of things at which you have improved on an emotional level. I would even say that it's better to get angry sometimes than let it all build up inside of you. Just keep being yourself because you really are a wonderful person gray and I'm very lucky to call you one of my friends.
I definitely have improved on somethings, but the anger is coming from me forcing myself to repress a lot of negative stuff, and it hits me doubly hard cause I know what's causing it as well and I can't do anything about it. It's a hard one to manage for me, hence the video. Life is definitely getting there in a lot of ways though so I'm really not too down in the dumps or anything at the moment, I just have somethings that I need to shine a light on a bit more. Cheers for commenting Tim. I'm glad to be able to call you a friend too.
Спасибо, что ты поделился своими проблемами. Все плохое останется позади, впереди только хорошее. Главное, что ты не опустил руки. Радуй нас, своих подписчиков своими новыми блогами!.Удачи тебе!
Спасибо. Все, что мы можем сделать, это продолжать двигаться в правильном направлении, это видео было просто для того, чтобы я мог сознательно потратить время, чтобы осознать некоторые плохие вещи, через которые я прошел, чтобы я мог отложить их в сторону и продолжать. Я уверен, что я буду делать больше таких видео (хотя и не слишком много, это может сделать мой канал очень унылым, если я не буду осторожен, ха-ха.) Я надеюсь, что вы получите что-то от них, когда я это сделаю. Увидимся в следующем видео. Приветствия.
Hi Gray. I enjoy the style of this video and getting a look at your thoughts on where you are/who you are now. I also noted that the sound and video quality is really good. I also like that you speak of challenging one's self to grow. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks very much mate, I'm glad you enjoyed the video. These videos are more for my own benefit than anything else as I sometimes need to articulate my feelings so I can start to understand them properly and know how to progress. I'm sure that some people will relate to my thought process though, or get something out of it at least. I always enjoy viewing other people's process with dealing with life, and it seems obvious enough to do it on youtube seeing as I'm hoping to do it full time one day. I think we all pursue personal growth in our own way, for me I just find it the most straightforward to put bits of it out there so I can hold myself accountable easier. It keeps me on the right track. Cheers for the kind words by the way. Take care.
@@Grays_Plays I know what you mean about how thinking out loud in this way can help better understand of what is going on in the mind. I feel like in this information age of instant gratification and so many choices of what can can access at our finger tips-- awesome as it is, I think it can make it harder to hear what's really going on in the mind /keep track of it, and to forget that there are human beings in the midst of it all. I believe in the din of this revolution of digital access to so much we must never forget that we are humans with complex thoughts and feelings. So I believe on a personal level that what you are doing is good for you and that socially you are preserving records of soul. :-)
@@seanoconnoressays Yeah it can be hard to draw oneself away from the tempting distraction of all the information at our disposal, and that can lead to some negative habits for sure. It doesn't leave much space for peace and quiet or self reflection, and that's a bad thing in my opinion. We have to deliberately take the time to reflect and honestly that's why I occasionally do videos like this one. Cheers for commenting again mate, I enjoyed reading your thoughts a lot. Take care.
I was in a very bad place with my tinnitus, when I found you, Gray. You helped me more than you’ll ever know. It’s obvious that you are a sensitive, empathetic person, which is why you connect with people so deeply. Your voice is wonderful. It is so rich sounding and soothing to the ear. Have you ever considered pursuing a career in radio, or commercial voiceover work? You have a gift.
Means a lot that my videos helped you through that bad place. I know what it feels like all too well, so I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you've made some progress on that front. And yes I'm starting to consider pursuing voice over work quite strongly as so many people keep recommending it. I loved the idea of being a voice actor growing up, as I watched a lot of cartoons and figured that would be fun to do for a living, haha. I have no idea how to go about getting into that line of work though. Maybe youtube will bring some opportunities my way if I keep growing my channel.
By reaching out to us you reach to yourself Gray. Thank you. Looking foward to your next Personal Vlog. Based on what you talked about here, my questions are, How do you want to be seen? and What corners don't you want to be painted into?
Cheers mate, I'll definitely be doing more in future. And those are good questions but I can't really answer them with specifics without talking about other people in my life, and that's something that I try to avoid. The vague answer is that I want to be seen the way I see myself and know myself to be, and I don't want to be seen and treated by others in an incorrect way due a lack of awareness on their part. With me being so introverted in nature I normally tend to only give people a very small glimpse of my motives and the things going on in my life, but I've been rather reluctantly over the past year or so finding myself in a situation where I had to act a certain way for the well being of others than myself and it has cost me a lot to do it personally. I've had my emotional defenses obliterated by the stress I've been under and I've been forced by my conscience to stay way more open and be around other people far more than I'm comfortable being because I know it's not healthy for me (the drop in my productivity on youtube since the start of last year is a testament to that,) and it's left me unable to protect myself from them and the complications to my life that they can inflict on me. People around me have caught some incorrect glimpses of who I am with the insanity of the situation I've been in drawing me away from my normal patterns of behavior, and they've treated me in a way that is not only abrasive to me emotionally/mentally, but it very nearly got way out of hand and would of really screwed up my ability to live my life the way I want to if I didn't start going way out of my way to address things, which I feel that I shouldn't of been forced to have to do and I'm very very resentful of that. I don't want to be painted into a corner because of the perceptions other people have of me, as it's left me with only having the options of either getting crapped on emotionally and having the rug pulled out under my feet practically speaking, or having to dominate others back to avoid having my options dictated to me. Those are the two options I feel I've been left with, and it drives me nuts because life isn't black and white and there's always other ways of dealing with things than having to resort to extremes, but I've let myself get spread so thin that I'm no longer in a position of strength in my own life and so I can't act on the other options anymore. I know it doesn't make much sense, but emotionally that's the gist of it from my perspective. I don't feel in control of my little corner of the world anymore and it's leading to me developing some negative mental and emotional traits to cope with and deal with that fact, because in some ways my survival depends on it. I need to rebalance things so that I feel more like me again and am better able to deal with things, but I'm struggling to do so because I have responsibilities other than my own well being to worry about. It's tricky. It all sounds so very serious written down though. I'm coping well enough in reality, but this is some of the stuff that I'm dealing with emotionally and it's why I made the video as it really helps me make sense of it all and helps me act in a way that'll improve my situation. Hope you get something out of it mate. Cheers.
Good to hear from you again on these matters. I’m taking some time away from my channel although I will be back taking a break for a while to focus on healing to silence, Its really on the horizon for me now. Recently made a video with Julian Hill much like the one we made together. We should meet up and do that again as an update .Also made a video regarding the Liam Bohem diet I was trying, being about diet you may find this of interest to you . I understand what your saying in regards to not letting others back you into corners etc. Don’t let them . Keep up the good work .Hope to hear from you soon . Ade.
A break is good every now and then. Lets us get our own mental space back and that's damn important. I've been relearning that recently the hard way. I'm sure you'll achieve silence soon enough Ade. Let me know how your progress goes man, I love hearing about it. And yeah I noticed the interview with Julian. I haven't had time to sit and watch it completely yet but I thought that it was awesome mate. I'll definitely give it a proper look as soon as I can. Gonna finish off Tenchu soon by the way. Take care mate.
I still think you underestimate yourself in helping people. Not anyone could have the guts to talk that bluntly about serious issues in the face of such a big audience. I personally would chicken out :) I mean it. We're all afraid to be hurt by someone and try to disguise our vulnerability. But you don't. You've already had a lot of subs and I think it means that this kind of stuff is highly sought. I mean such tough issues like some kind of ailment, dealing with people or whatever. Your videos are really helpful for me personally with my depression. Some of your thoughts regarding dealing with people just hit the mark. You know..it's very important when someone voices out loud what you just feel. It gives you support. It really does. Your subs' comments definitely prove it. Most of the comments are thankful and cheering. I'm joining. So, you do really help. Straight speaking is a rare touch of nature. Gray, I've got a question to you. If you find it too blunt, please just ignore it. You say you're very introverted. But your profession implies to have public performances with a lot of people around you. How do you manage to withstand it being introverted? Some meditations or whatever? Again, please don't respond if you don't want to. God, what a long speech I've given! Wrapping up. So, Gray, thank you so much! I hope I could pick right words not to be unclear or tactless. My apologies for mistakes or clumsy places. My English is not as perfect as yours :) Thanks and take care!
Thank you, I really appreciate the time and effort you took to write these kind words. That's why it's taken me so long to reply, I don't like to rush it when I see that people have really put effort in to asking me questions, so my apologies that it's taken 2 weeks to get back to you. Personally I've never been one to try to hide my insecurities, it only serves to feed them and it always makes things worse. I don't make a point of broadcasting all my problems to everyone I meet either to be fair, but there are in my opinion much healthier ways of dealing with what we're scared or upset by than hiding it from people, as that just doesn't seem to work. I'm a very guarded person in nature until I feel the need to be open, and then I make a point of letting things out in a way that I'm comfortable with, and not in an unconscious or unhealthy manner like a lot of people tend to do. RUclips is the perfect outlet for that, because if you go in expecting to get negative comments as just a part of it if you get enough views then there really isn't anything on here that can actually hurt you, and the only things left that can come your way will be positive things. If my videos were terrible or boring or whatever then the worst that will happen is no one will watch, so it's the perfect filter for expressing some of my negative stuff in my opinion. If anyone watches long enough to get pissed off or want to leave a dislike then that's on them cause it was them that chose to keep watching, and it's hard to treat that like it's my problem in any way, so negative comments are hard to take seriously in my opinion. And yes I'm very introverted in nature, it costs me energy to be outgoing and around lots of people as the place that I'm comfiest is by myself working on things that interest me. RUclips, reading, playing video games, learning/writing songs, or working on new skills in the privacy of my own home, that's the kind of thing that I'm the most drawn towards by far and that's the only time I feel completely comfortable. Life's not all about feeling comfortable though and to really grow as individuals we have to challenge ourselves from time to time, and that's something that I try to do as I know that to a certain degree my introverted nature is no longer serving me as well as it used to, so I need to put some work in to overcoming it a bit so that I can become a more well rounded human being. I've never been shy though, and I differ quite a bit from most introverts on that front. I think it's probably because I started gigging and performing at a young age (14,) and I managed to get pretty decent at music and enjoyed the benefits of having a skill and doing something with it at a younger age than most people I knew at the time, so I think a lot of my confidence stems from there and it spills over to other areas of my life quite easily. I'm not outwardly confident if that makes sense (too guarded emotionally to let it show in public very much, haha,) but there's a massive amount of inner security and confidence that I feel I have to draw from and it helps greatly when I'm dealing with things that I'm less familiar or comfortable with. Learning music the way I did also gave me the skills to learn other things relatively easily, and so my confidence has grown over time with the more things I take an interest in. Plain and simply I'm reasonably competent at a lot of things that I do and that gives me a lot of confidence that doesn't go away just because I'm in a different kind of environment than what I naturally gravitate towards. That applies especially to gigging, as that kind of environment is one where I'm playing an instrument and am doing something that I'm quite decent at, so confidence isn't an issue in that environment, I know that I have all the tools I need to navigate it well. It still costs me energy to do as I struggle to keep my emotional guard up properly when dealing with other people, and to a certain degree I don't enjoy gigging very much because of that as I can't feed on that environment the way a proper extrovert would, but compared to a lot of things gigging and performing costs me relatively little to do so it's just not an issue for me to do it even with how introverted I am. Personally I don't have much trouble being extroverted or doing extroverted things in small doses as like I said, I'm not very shy, but I can easily overexert myself emotionally as it's not something that comes completely naturally to me. I have to balance it up with enough introverted activity, meaning that I need time and space in isolation at home to recover otherwise I just don't have the energy to be able to engage with people properly. I've been known to fall asleep under pool tables and in the corners of pubs at gigs in the past before we were due to start playing, as hanging around other people for too long when I hadn't been able to recover from it properly was just something I wouldn't have it in me to be able to do. My sleep pattern also tends to rearrange itself if I don't spend enough time at home by myself. I've noticed that it'll reverse itself so that I can only wake up in the very early hours of the morning, in what I'm certain is a subconscious attempt to stop me engaging with people and things that drain me too much emotionally. I had an irregular circadian rhythm for the better part of a decade, and it's only the last 3 months that I've manage to get it under control and get a regular sleeping pattern again, and it's way too coincidental that it's happened at the exact time I moved out and got my own place, haha. The more personal space I have the better I feel and the better I function, but I need to work on enforcing my own space better when faced with dealing with other people as my emotional boundaries are quite weak really, and that's why I get drained so easily when dealing with other people. My advice to any introvert that's struggling with dealing with more extroverted things is to find that emotional place in yourself where you feel comfortable and then learn to stay in that state as you try to gradually push yourself to expand your comfort zone. It can be a mental/emotional thing to do for some, or you can find ways of practically implementing it (like getting competent at an instrument and starting gigging, that works brilliantly to bridge the gap in my opinion,) but it's all about expanding your own emotional space in my personal opinion, and we can all do it if we work on the skills we need to be able to pull that off. Hope that all makes sense, it's hard to explain it in text. Hope it answers your question at any rate, and please don't apologize for anything. I enjoyed reading your comment massively and I really appreciate the interest. Feel free to ask me more questions if you want to, I'm an open book on youtube for the most part so fire away and I'll answer as soon as I can. Take care.
@@Grays_Plays Thank you so much for your response! I'm really grateful for it! I hung over your message processing it :) You explained everything very clear and it's really very interesting as I had no idea how you could manage to reconcile your nature with gigs in noisy crowded places and lots of people hanging around. I'm glad you've had a place that is comfortable for you, it's really very important. You say you don't hide your insecurities not to feed them. That's quite an unexpected point of view for me, though I think I would agree with you in a way now. You know when I came across your video a couple of months ago I was just stunned with your openness. It was like...well...the aerial acrobatics (in my eyes at list). Banjee jumping! People (on RUclips I mean) willingly talk about their activities, hobbies or whatever. But they don't talk about the things that are hard, excruciating for them. As for you I think that's a fortunate side of your nature that allows you to express yourself. You don't have any fear about it. Though it's natural for you, yet I respect that feature very much being quite a reserved person who is unable to be that open. I don't mean I don't stand people. No, no at all! I'm rather outgoing, have friends, but that frankness is absolutely unaccessable for me. You know, we always esteem features or skills that we don't have ourselves. That's natural. Your involuntary help to people may be a "side effect" of your reflection. But anyway it does help, I solemnly testify it :) And yeah, you might be surprised :) but I want to ask you one more question. A serious one. Are you easy about forgiving people who..well..made you feel bad in a way? I don't mean to say them about it, no. Just to forgive them (or try to do it) inside yourself. It's way too hard sometimes. What do you think about it? And one more thing. I wanted to thank you for your game streams. You know, I'd always been far from that kind of entertainment. A kind of snobbery, I think haha. But now..you know .. watching a game, listening to your talking to other viewers (they are profs) is a good relaxation! Thank you! Take care!
Good night,Gray Do you know...when the evening breeze is singing in the dark.. You name is always in my prayer) You are an interesting person with a great wonderful voice You do your things creatively Thank you Sorry , my English is not so good )
@@Grays_Plays sorry,what means "faking happy" Is it an idiom , i can't understand definition...may be it means incrediible happy and a person is " on the seven sky"?
@@Grays_Plays same here, i passed through difficult times the last months. That made me realise how much i was taking life for granted so im working on bettering myself. Keep up the content man. You seem such a genuine and down to earth dude
Sorry to hear that buddy, I hope you're making good progress with your goals though. Good luck to both of us with that one. And thank you, I try to be as genuine as I can with my youtube videos. I enjoy getting to be completely myself with people like this, there's very few mediums where you get that kind of freedom and it's why I love youtubing. I'll definitely be keeping up with the videos and I hope you enjoy or get something out them in future. Take care.
Emotional trauma can be an invisible injury yet the imprint is there on your brain to react in a way you become programmed to - even if you don't like it be it passive or aggressive - by healing external effects is one part you have to also heal the inward part too. Physical chemical emotional stress body reacts same. Check out Dr zac bush on YT his take on emotional trauma and it's effects are interesting to listen to.
Agreed completely, I'm just struggling a little with how I got about managing to achieve the inward healing. I think I still need to work on the external stress part first, cause I'm in a state where I'm just starting to feel the trauma of what I've been through, and it's a weird feeling to begin to realize. Thank you for the suggestion. I'll definitely give it a good look mate.
@@Grays_Plays I'm sure you know about the flight and fight response - well under time of trauma whatever that chase is if we stay in 'sympathetic nervous response' longer than the body can handle it makes an imprint on the bran so we can go back to that point of trauma again and again regardless of how much time passes. Try understand what are the triggers and aim to remove them. If you've struggled with obesity in past have you focused on healing gut? This is where dopamine and serotonin are produced that are the feel good chemicals. Loads of information out there on this if you haven't already come across it.
Oh yeah I'm incredibly familiar with the concept and I'm definitely suffering from what you described. I'll get a handle on it sooner or later, but right now I'm still in the stage where I need to remove the actual triggers and it's tricky to do as I'm sure you know. And I haven't focused on healing my gut properly to be honest, though I should do. I'm aware of what I should be doing but I got such good results from focusing on chronic stress that I never took it further than that. I definitely want to start fermenting food to get the bacteria into a better balance, but I've screwed up so far in my attempts, haha. Probably going to try to do pickles next as it seems to be completely idiotproof and that's something I need, lol.
Dealt with severe depression because ppl refuse to see reality like it is... Even my family, so isolated myself and been drinking alot but im recovering...
Still mewing, though not as intensely as I'd like to be on average. Life's been extremely hectic and it's been distracting me from a lot of things I'm interested in with mewing being one of them. Still seeing slow results though, but it's definitely the kind of thing where it adds up over the years rather than where you see results within months like hitting the gym for example. I'm sure that most people can achieve much quicker results than me though.
Thank you, Grey, for your sincerity... It's rare. Good luck!
Thank you, it was my pleasure. Glad you found it engaging in some way.
Fist of all your hair is beautiful. I subscribed because of how real you are. It takes a lot of courage to stand your ground. I think being true to who you are is the most important thing anyone can do. I enjoyed this vid because of the realism. Sending good vibes your way.
Haha, thank you. Need to start trimming it soon, it hasn't gotten longer for years cause I've just straight up never done any maintenance on it, and I like the idea of having waist length hair one day.
And I really appreciate your words Chris. I got into youtube for exactly what you're describing there, so it means a lot that people are getting that vibe from my own videos.
Thanks for the good vibes. Hope you have a nice day.
Followed you from beginning gray and you've certainly helped me cope better it's not nearly as stressful as it used to be keep the vids coming mate 👍👍
Yeah I remember mate. I appreciate the support, and it touches my heart when people say my videos helped them. I plan on keeping doing them for many years to come and hopefully I'm starting to turn a corner and will be able to be more consistent with them from now on. Guess we'll see.
Thanks for making this video man. I try to go with the flow and avoid confrontation, but I've found this past year that sometimes people start thinking they can just walk all over you and you must assert yourself. The message in this video is one people need to hear.
My pleasure mate, I had to do it for my own mental well being and I hope that others that relate to it get something out of it.
It's a strange thing when you get in the habit of letting things slide, because it means that you need to work harder to assert yourself than you would of done if you'd just bit the bullet and done it in the first place.
I'm struggling with the details of my current situation and how to assert myself in a way that doesn't just cause negativity in my life, but the fundamental point is that I need more emotional space than what I currently have and it's ok for me to feel that way and to start to act on it, regardless of what others feel about it.
I hope that you find your way with your situation mate. Take care, and good luck to you with it.
Hey man, just wanna say that your videos have helped me a lot as I'm struggling with tinnitus had it for around 6 months and it destroyed me mentally, near enough to suicide.
After a couple months it seemed to get a bit better and I was researching more about it to try and reduce it. I was starting to feel normal again, but I had a recent spike that really fucked me and my life up even more and I found your videos while I was going through it. They gave me hope as I saw that you can get better and that I can get over this, I just need to stay strong and give it time.
Keep up the videos man, sending some good vibes your way :)
Thanks mate. I know exactly what you mean, I was at the suicidal stage at one point.
It means more than I can say that my videos have helped you get through that stage, and I hope that you're making good progress.
Best of luck to you, and thanks again. Take care.
Gray, I am sorry you have been through a really rough time, truly. I appreciate you being willing to be vulnerable and honest. That is extremely hard.
We are going through some absolutely excruciating situations in our family right now. Everyday is like walking through hell. I keep praying and trying to have faith that we will find the answers we need desperately.
You hang tough man! I don't want you to think I am weird. Just a couple of compliments. Your hair is beautiful and I love the sound of your rich voice. Lovely...
Stay strong...we all have to, or we won't make it.
Blessings, Pam
It's hard for me to do, but youtube is a good outlet for it because the only people that will watch long enough to see it are those that will relate. I felt a lot better after making this video.
I'm sorry to hear about your family's struggles. Pain is a part of life, but it's never truly permanent. Good times will come again soon enough if we just keep going and I'm sure that you will find your way soon enough.
Thanks for the compliments, I don't think they're weird, haha. Take care Pamela.
@@Grays_Plays I never thought of RUclips being a place to do this. I figured it would be a chance for people to crucify you. People can be so cruel sometimes. I have been really blessed watching different reactions from several people. It helps me get through these very tough times. Thanks for your encouragement Gray. Catch you later, blessings always.
@@pamela1144 Oh they can be, but only to people with interesting enough videos to try to pick apart. I always viewed haters and negative comments as a sign that my videos were getting noticed by a wider audience than what normally reach to be honest, and that they were a good sign that my channel was growing rather than something to actually worry about.
I think personally that the only time youtubers can expect to get no negative comments is if their videos are either not viewed enough, or are just plain not interesting enough to comment on. If there's anything at all worth commenting on and enough people see it then sooner or later someone is going to be a prat towards you on here, that's just how it is. Says more about them than you or me though.
I'm glad to hear you're getting some relief watching different reaction videos on here. I had a tinnitus spike a few years ago that really left me struggling and I found a similar relief watching gaming videos, so I can completely relate. That's how I wound up getting into youtube in the first place actually.
Pleasure talking with you, and good luck with everything Pamela.
Hey Gray, I'm kinda late for this, but I want to let you know that I appreciate what you do in RUclips: answering comments of subscribers and being honest, something that most people do not do. You are sincere and remind me that I'm not alone, which helps me to alleviate stress. I want to let you know that you can always count on me. I will keep supporting your channel and hope you can solve all your problems.
Already answered this comment in my Replying To Comments 2 video, but I'm very touched by your words mate and I wanted to take the time to write a proper response to let you know. Thank you.
I'm also incredibly pleased that you get some comfort and help with stress from my videos, as it really can be a killer and I know how much videos on youtube can help with that, as I got a lot of help in that way when I was really struggling with a few things in my own life.
I enjoy talking with my subscribers more than anything else with my channel and I strive to reply to everyone that I can, and it's comments like yours that really make it worth the time it takes to do it these days with how many I get.
Thank you for the support, and best of luck to you with whatever problems or stresses you might be facing in your own life. Take care.
I love how honest you are. And don't worry about change, you talk a lot about how you have changed in bad ways like getting angry faster. but there are probably also a lot of things at which you have improved on an emotional level. I would even say that it's better to get angry sometimes than let it all build up inside of you. Just keep being yourself because you really are a wonderful person gray and I'm very lucky to call you one of my friends.
I definitely have improved on somethings, but the anger is coming from me forcing myself to repress a lot of negative stuff, and it hits me doubly hard cause I know what's causing it as well and I can't do anything about it. It's a hard one to manage for me, hence the video.
Life is definitely getting there in a lot of ways though so I'm really not too down in the dumps or anything at the moment, I just have somethings that I need to shine a light on a bit more.
Cheers for commenting Tim. I'm glad to be able to call you a friend too.
Спасибо, что ты поделился своими проблемами. Все плохое останется позади, впереди только хорошее. Главное, что ты не опустил руки. Радуй нас, своих подписчиков своими новыми блогами!.Удачи тебе!
Спасибо. Все, что мы можем сделать, это продолжать двигаться в правильном направлении, это видео было просто для того, чтобы я мог сознательно потратить время, чтобы осознать некоторые плохие вещи, через которые я прошел, чтобы я мог отложить их в сторону и продолжать.
Я уверен, что я буду делать больше таких видео (хотя и не слишком много, это может сделать мой канал очень унылым, если я не буду осторожен, ха-ха.) Я надеюсь, что вы получите что-то от них, когда я это сделаю.
Увидимся в следующем видео. Приветствия.
@@Grays_Plays Говоришь по-русски?
@@ЕленаНевало
К сожалению нет. Гугл переводчик иногда мне пригодится, хаха.
Hi Gray. I enjoy the style of this video and getting a look at your thoughts on where you are/who you are now. I also noted that the sound and video quality is really good. I also like that you speak of challenging one's self to grow. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks very much mate, I'm glad you enjoyed the video.
These videos are more for my own benefit than anything else as I sometimes need to articulate my feelings so I can start to understand them properly and know how to progress. I'm sure that some people will relate to my thought process though, or get something out of it at least. I always enjoy viewing other people's process with dealing with life, and it seems obvious enough to do it on youtube seeing as I'm hoping to do it full time one day.
I think we all pursue personal growth in our own way, for me I just find it the most straightforward to put bits of it out there so I can hold myself accountable easier. It keeps me on the right track.
Cheers for the kind words by the way. Take care.
@@Grays_Plays I know what you mean about how thinking out loud in this way can help better understand of what is going on in the mind. I feel like in this information age of instant gratification and so many choices of what can can access at our finger tips-- awesome as it is, I think it can make it harder to hear what's really going on in the mind /keep track of it, and to forget that there are human beings in the midst of it all. I believe in the din of this revolution of digital access to so much we must never forget that we are humans with complex thoughts and feelings. So I believe on a personal level that what you are doing is good for you and that socially you are preserving records of soul. :-)
@@seanoconnoressays Yeah it can be hard to draw oneself away from the tempting distraction of all the information at our disposal, and that can lead to some negative habits for sure. It doesn't leave much space for peace and quiet or self reflection, and that's a bad thing in my opinion. We have to deliberately take the time to reflect and honestly that's why I occasionally do videos like this one.
Cheers for commenting again mate, I enjoyed reading your thoughts a lot. Take care.
I was in a very bad place with my tinnitus, when I found you, Gray. You helped me more than you’ll ever know.
It’s obvious that you are a sensitive, empathetic person, which is why you connect with people so deeply.
Your voice is wonderful. It is so rich sounding and soothing to the ear. Have you ever considered pursuing a career in radio, or commercial voiceover work? You have a gift.
Means a lot that my videos helped you through that bad place. I know what it feels like all too well, so I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you've made some progress on that front.
And yes I'm starting to consider pursuing voice over work quite strongly as so many people keep recommending it. I loved the idea of being a voice actor growing up, as I watched a lot of cartoons and figured that would be fun to do for a living, haha.
I have no idea how to go about getting into that line of work though. Maybe youtube will bring some opportunities my way if I keep growing my channel.
I’m sure you will find the connections you seek for voice over work. Keep putting positivity out there and the universe will answer. ;)
@@sassyt1545 Cheers. I'm sure it will.
By reaching out to us you reach to yourself Gray. Thank you. Looking foward to your next Personal Vlog. Based on what you talked about here, my questions are, How do you want to be seen? and What corners don't you want to be painted into?
Cheers mate, I'll definitely be doing more in future. And those are good questions but I can't really answer them with specifics without talking about other people in my life, and that's something that I try to avoid.
The vague answer is that I want to be seen the way I see myself and know myself to be, and I don't want to be seen and treated by others in an incorrect way due a lack of awareness on their part. With me being so introverted in nature I normally tend to only give people a very small glimpse of my motives and the things going on in my life, but I've been rather reluctantly over the past year or so finding myself in a situation where I had to act a certain way for the well being of others than myself and it has cost me a lot to do it personally. I've had my emotional defenses obliterated by the stress I've been under and I've been forced by my conscience to stay way more open and be around other people far more than I'm comfortable being because I know it's not healthy for me (the drop in my productivity on youtube since the start of last year is a testament to that,) and it's left me unable to protect myself from them and the complications to my life that they can inflict on me.
People around me have caught some incorrect glimpses of who I am with the insanity of the situation I've been in drawing me away from my normal patterns of behavior, and they've treated me in a way that is not only abrasive to me emotionally/mentally, but it very nearly got way out of hand and would of really screwed up my ability to live my life the way I want to if I didn't start going way out of my way to address things, which I feel that I shouldn't of been forced to have to do and I'm very very resentful of that.
I don't want to be painted into a corner because of the perceptions other people have of me, as it's left me with only having the options of either getting crapped on emotionally and having the rug pulled out under my feet practically speaking, or having to dominate others back to avoid having my options dictated to me. Those are the two options I feel I've been left with, and it drives me nuts because life isn't black and white and there's always other ways of dealing with things than having to resort to extremes, but I've let myself get spread so thin that I'm no longer in a position of strength in my own life and so I can't act on the other options anymore.
I know it doesn't make much sense, but emotionally that's the gist of it from my perspective. I don't feel in control of my little corner of the world anymore and it's leading to me developing some negative mental and emotional traits to cope with and deal with that fact, because in some ways my survival depends on it. I need to rebalance things so that I feel more like me again and am better able to deal with things, but I'm struggling to do so because I have responsibilities other than my own well being to worry about. It's tricky.
It all sounds so very serious written down though. I'm coping well enough in reality, but this is some of the stuff that I'm dealing with emotionally and it's why I made the video as it really helps me make sense of it all and helps me act in a way that'll improve my situation. Hope you get something out of it mate. Cheers.
Good to hear from you again on these matters. I’m taking some time away from my channel although I will be back taking a break for a while to focus on healing to silence, Its really on the horizon for me now. Recently made a video with Julian Hill much like the one we made together. We should meet up and do that again as an update .Also made a video regarding the Liam Bohem diet I was trying, being about diet you may find this of interest to you . I understand what your saying in regards to not letting others back you into corners etc. Don’t let them . Keep up the good work .Hope to hear from you soon . Ade.
A break is good every now and then. Lets us get our own mental space back and that's damn important. I've been relearning that recently the hard way.
I'm sure you'll achieve silence soon enough Ade. Let me know how your progress goes man, I love hearing about it.
And yeah I noticed the interview with Julian. I haven't had time to sit and watch it completely yet but I thought that it was awesome mate. I'll definitely give it a proper look as soon as I can.
Gonna finish off Tenchu soon by the way. Take care mate.
I still think you underestimate yourself in helping people. Not anyone could have the guts to talk that bluntly about serious issues in the face of such a big audience. I personally would chicken out :) I mean it. We're all afraid to be hurt by someone and try to disguise our vulnerability. But you don't. You've already had a lot of subs and I think it means that this kind of stuff is highly sought. I mean such tough issues like some kind of ailment, dealing with people or whatever. Your videos are really helpful for me personally with my depression. Some of your thoughts regarding dealing with people just hit the mark. You know..it's very important when someone voices out loud what you just feel. It gives you support. It really does. Your subs' comments definitely prove it. Most of the comments are thankful and cheering. I'm joining. So, you do really help. Straight speaking is a rare touch of nature. Gray, I've got a question to you. If you find it too blunt, please just ignore it. You say you're very introverted. But your profession implies to have public performances with a lot of people around you. How do you manage to withstand it being introverted? Some meditations or whatever? Again, please don't respond if you don't want to. God, what a long speech I've given! Wrapping up. So, Gray, thank you so much! I hope I could pick right words not to be unclear or tactless. My apologies for mistakes or clumsy places. My English is not as perfect as yours :) Thanks and take care!
Thank you, I really appreciate the time and effort you took to write these kind words. That's why it's taken me so long to reply, I don't like to rush it when I see that people have really put effort in to asking me questions, so my apologies that it's taken 2 weeks to get back to you.
Personally I've never been one to try to hide my insecurities, it only serves to feed them and it always makes things worse. I don't make a point of broadcasting all my problems to everyone I meet either to be fair, but there are in my opinion much healthier ways of dealing with what we're scared or upset by than hiding it from people, as that just doesn't seem to work.
I'm a very guarded person in nature until I feel the need to be open, and then I make a point of letting things out in a way that I'm comfortable with, and not in an unconscious or unhealthy manner like a lot of people tend to do. RUclips is the perfect outlet for that, because if you go in expecting to get negative comments as just a part of it if you get enough views then there really isn't anything on here that can actually hurt you, and the only things left that can come your way will be positive things. If my videos were terrible or boring or whatever then the worst that will happen is no one will watch, so it's the perfect filter for expressing some of my negative stuff in my opinion. If anyone watches long enough to get pissed off or want to leave a dislike then that's on them cause it was them that chose to keep watching, and it's hard to treat that like it's my problem in any way, so negative comments are hard to take seriously in my opinion.
And yes I'm very introverted in nature, it costs me energy to be outgoing and around lots of people as the place that I'm comfiest is by myself working on things that interest me. RUclips, reading, playing video games, learning/writing songs, or working on new skills in the privacy of my own home, that's the kind of thing that I'm the most drawn towards by far and that's the only time I feel completely comfortable. Life's not all about feeling comfortable though and to really grow as individuals we have to challenge ourselves from time to time, and that's something that I try to do as I know that to a certain degree my introverted nature is no longer serving me as well as it used to, so I need to put some work in to overcoming it a bit so that I can become a more well rounded human being.
I've never been shy though, and I differ quite a bit from most introverts on that front. I think it's probably because I started gigging and performing at a young age (14,) and I managed to get pretty decent at music and enjoyed the benefits of having a skill and doing something with it at a younger age than most people I knew at the time, so I think a lot of my confidence stems from there and it spills over to other areas of my life quite easily. I'm not outwardly confident if that makes sense (too guarded emotionally to let it show in public very much, haha,) but there's a massive amount of inner security and confidence that I feel I have to draw from and it helps greatly when I'm dealing with things that I'm less familiar or comfortable with. Learning music the way I did also gave me the skills to learn other things relatively easily, and so my confidence has grown over time with the more things I take an interest in.
Plain and simply I'm reasonably competent at a lot of things that I do and that gives me a lot of confidence that doesn't go away just because I'm in a different kind of environment than what I naturally gravitate towards. That applies especially to gigging, as that kind of environment is one where I'm playing an instrument and am doing something that I'm quite decent at, so confidence isn't an issue in that environment, I know that I have all the tools I need to navigate it well. It still costs me energy to do as I struggle to keep my emotional guard up properly when dealing with other people, and to a certain degree I don't enjoy gigging very much because of that as I can't feed on that environment the way a proper extrovert would, but compared to a lot of things gigging and performing costs me relatively little to do so it's just not an issue for me to do it even with how introverted I am.
Personally I don't have much trouble being extroverted or doing extroverted things in small doses as like I said, I'm not very shy, but I can easily overexert myself emotionally as it's not something that comes completely naturally to me. I have to balance it up with enough introverted activity, meaning that I need time and space in isolation at home to recover otherwise I just don't have the energy to be able to engage with people properly. I've been known to fall asleep under pool tables and in the corners of pubs at gigs in the past before we were due to start playing, as hanging around other people for too long when I hadn't been able to recover from it properly was just something I wouldn't have it in me to be able to do. My sleep pattern also tends to rearrange itself if I don't spend enough time at home by myself. I've noticed that it'll reverse itself so that I can only wake up in the very early hours of the morning, in what I'm certain is a subconscious attempt to stop me engaging with people and things that drain me too much emotionally. I had an irregular circadian rhythm for the better part of a decade, and it's only the last 3 months that I've manage to get it under control and get a regular sleeping pattern again, and it's way too coincidental that it's happened at the exact time I moved out and got my own place, haha. The more personal space I have the better I feel and the better I function, but I need to work on enforcing my own space better when faced with dealing with other people as my emotional boundaries are quite weak really, and that's why I get drained so easily when dealing with other people.
My advice to any introvert that's struggling with dealing with more extroverted things is to find that emotional place in yourself where you feel comfortable and then learn to stay in that state as you try to gradually push yourself to expand your comfort zone. It can be a mental/emotional thing to do for some, or you can find ways of practically implementing it (like getting competent at an instrument and starting gigging, that works brilliantly to bridge the gap in my opinion,) but it's all about expanding your own emotional space in my personal opinion, and we can all do it if we work on the skills we need to be able to pull that off.
Hope that all makes sense, it's hard to explain it in text. Hope it answers your question at any rate, and please don't apologize for anything. I enjoyed reading your comment massively and I really appreciate the interest. Feel free to ask me more questions if you want to, I'm an open book on youtube for the most part so fire away and I'll answer as soon as I can. Take care.
@@Grays_Plays Thank you so much for your response! I'm really grateful for it! I hung over your message processing it :) You explained everything very clear and it's really very interesting as I had no idea how you could manage to reconcile your nature with gigs in noisy crowded places and lots of people hanging around. I'm glad you've had a place that is comfortable for you, it's really very important.
You say you don't hide your insecurities not to feed them. That's quite an unexpected point of view for me, though I think I would agree with you in a way now. You know when I came across your video a couple of months ago I was just stunned with your openness. It was like...well...the aerial acrobatics (in my eyes at list). Banjee jumping! People (on RUclips I mean) willingly talk about their activities, hobbies or whatever. But they don't talk about the things that are hard, excruciating for them. As for you I think that's a fortunate side of your nature that allows you to express yourself. You don't have any fear about it. Though it's natural for you, yet I respect that feature very much being quite a reserved person who is unable to be that open. I don't mean I don't stand people. No, no at all! I'm rather outgoing, have friends, but that frankness is absolutely unaccessable for me. You know, we always esteem features or skills that we don't have ourselves. That's natural. Your involuntary help to people may be a "side effect" of your reflection. But anyway it does help, I solemnly testify it :)
And yeah, you might be surprised :) but I want to ask you one more question. A serious one. Are you easy about forgiving people who..well..made you feel bad in a way? I don't mean to say them about it, no. Just to forgive them (or try to do it) inside yourself. It's way too hard sometimes. What do you think about it?
And one more thing. I wanted to thank you for your game streams. You know, I'd always been far from that kind of entertainment. A kind of snobbery, I think haha. But now..you know .. watching a game, listening to your talking to other viewers (they are profs) is a good relaxation! Thank you!
Take care!
What a solid guy. Keep it up!
Cheers mate.
Good night,Gray
Do you know...when the evening breeze is singing in the dark.. You name is always in my prayer)
You are an interesting person with a great wonderful voice
You do your things creatively
Thank you
Sorry , my English is not so good )
That's very sweet. Thank you.
@@Grays_Plays Gray, you often greet only guys in your videos )
Don't forget about girls :)
@@elleshell9508 Haha, noted. I tend to use it as a term to sum up everyone, but I'll make sure to be more inclusive in future.
@@Grays_Plays sorry,what means "faking happy" Is it an idiom , i can't understand definition...may be it means incrediible happy and a person is " on the seven sky"?
@@Grays_Plays in this video
hope you are doing okay man
Much appreciated mate. I'm doing pretty good overall, just having to learn a few hard lessons to sum it up briefly. Thanks for commenting.
@@Grays_Plays same here, i passed through difficult times the last months. That made me realise how much i was taking life for granted so im working on bettering myself. Keep up the content man. You seem such a genuine and down to earth dude
Sorry to hear that buddy, I hope you're making good progress with your goals though. Good luck to both of us with that one.
And thank you, I try to be as genuine as I can with my youtube videos. I enjoy getting to be completely myself with people like this, there's very few mediums where you get that kind of freedom and it's why I love youtubing. I'll definitely be keeping up with the videos and I hope you enjoy or get something out them in future.
Take care.
Emotional trauma can be an invisible injury yet the imprint is there on your brain to react in a way you become programmed to - even if you don't like it be it passive or aggressive - by healing external effects is one part you have to also heal the inward part too. Physical chemical emotional stress body reacts same. Check out Dr zac bush on YT his take on emotional trauma and it's effects are interesting to listen to.
Agreed completely, I'm just struggling a little with how I got about managing to achieve the inward healing. I think I still need to work on the external stress part first, cause I'm in a state where I'm just starting to feel the trauma of what I've been through, and it's a weird feeling to begin to realize.
Thank you for the suggestion. I'll definitely give it a good look mate.
@@Grays_Plays I'm sure you know about the flight and fight response - well under time of trauma whatever that chase is if we stay in 'sympathetic nervous response' longer than the body can handle it makes an imprint on the bran so we can go back to that point of trauma again and again regardless of how much time passes. Try understand what are the triggers and aim to remove them. If you've struggled with obesity in past have you focused on healing gut? This is where dopamine and serotonin are produced that are the feel good chemicals. Loads of information out there on this if you haven't already come across it.
Oh yeah I'm incredibly familiar with the concept and I'm definitely suffering from what you described. I'll get a handle on it sooner or later, but right now I'm still in the stage where I need to remove the actual triggers and it's tricky to do as I'm sure you know.
And I haven't focused on healing my gut properly to be honest, though I should do. I'm aware of what I should be doing but I got such good results from focusing on chronic stress that I never took it further than that. I definitely want to start fermenting food to get the bacteria into a better balance, but I've screwed up so far in my attempts, haha. Probably going to try to do pickles next as it seems to be completely idiotproof and that's something I need, lol.
Offcourse it is...
Sometimes I need reminding.
Dealt with severe depression because ppl refuse to see reality like it is... Even my family, so isolated myself and been drinking alot but im recovering...
Are you still mewing if so has it changed anything or is it rubbish?
Still mewing, though not as intensely as I'd like to be on average. Life's been extremely hectic and it's been distracting me from a lot of things I'm interested in with mewing being one of them.
Still seeing slow results though, but it's definitely the kind of thing where it adds up over the years rather than where you see results within months like hitting the gym for example. I'm sure that most people can achieve much quicker results than me though.
2?
Two videos in one day? Was a bit surprised myself that I managed to find the time for it.