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Donor Conception Misinformation, Dilemmas, and Concerns | Stacy Taubman | TEDxCherryCreekWomen
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- Опубликовано: 28 ноя 2022
- NOTE FROM TED: This talk only reflects the speaker's personal views and approach to policy. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: storage.ted.com...
Today, more and more people are turning to donor eggs or donor sperm to start their family. As someone who is both donor conceived and currently navigating fertility treatments, Stacy understands both sides of the equation and wants to bring awareness to the misinformation and misconceptions out there about donor conception and the impacts it can have on the children created.
A highly sought-after speaker and moderator, Stacy captivates audiences large and small through authentic, vulnerable, and insightful discussions. Among her most memorable engagements were moderating repeated discussions with Sarah Friar, CEO of Nextdoor; as well as fashion designer and business mogul Nicole Miller. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Donor kid here! So thankful my parents rebelled against the advice to lie about my DNA. I'm really grateful for the advancement of technology like 23and me, which has helped me find 6 half-siblings! I hope the world is waking up to our lack of rights, and we can banish anonymous donation once and for all.
"Love is not a competition." I've thought this before, like there's room in your heart. I enjoyed learning more about this, it's important to talk about.
As someone who can’t have my own children due to POI and who is going through egg donation, I think this only tells one side of the story. I fully intend to let my children know about their donor and in Australia there is a donor register with the donor’s full details, including medical history. Recipients can also have embryos genetically tested for medical conditions. In my own experience, I was estranged from my father and his side of the family so I have little information about medical history on that side so that can happen in cases of sharing biology. It can be a positive and amazing experience for both parities if done ethically. I’m sorry you’ve had this experience and feel this way. Ultimately, someone donates a few cells and I will nurture and grow my child in my womb and give birth. No one can tell me that I’m not the Mother. I will have full details of medical history from the donor. I deserve to be a Mother just like anyone else. For those who are saying “if you are sterile accept it”. Think…what if you became that way because you had Cancer and had to have Chemotherapy which destroyed your ovarian reserve? Do you accept it? For those who say “Don’t play God” - if you were dying of Cancer would you just accept it because receiving chemotherapy or having surgery to remove a tumour is “playing God?” Just something to think carefully about.
« My children» susanna those are not your kids
@@liliessims5307 yes they will be
@@susannag1712 they ain’t your eggs you’re not much better than a surrogate who’s carrying and will adopt them I pray they’ll look like your egggs donor stay delusional
@@susannag1712 you’re just gonna be the vessel carrying them and still they’re not gonna have your genes how desperate and sad 💀
@@susannag1712 desperate at the end you won’t be passing dna you’re no better than a box
I discovered I was donor conceived at 57 via Ancestry. Even more crazy, my donor father was my mother’s OB. I feel just like you about donor conception and the rules involved. No matter how great of family you have nor how much you love your social parent and know they love you, it is *still* a total shock and leaves you with an utter loss of identity. Further, not only do I need to explain to HCP that there are errors in my medical history, my kids need to correct theirs, too.
Tienes derecho a saber quiénes son tus padres, para conocer tu identidad que es lo que otorga dignidad a la persona. Abuelos, tíos, sobrinos también tienen derecho a saber quién es su familia.
That is sad,so sorry.
What does OB stand for?
I know my biological parents & siblings & I’m nothing like them.
There are a lot of similarities between adoptees and donor conceived people.
Wow, thank you for sharing this message, Stacy. This is an experience and perspective I never heard about.
You are a beautiful and brave woman for coming forward to share this.
First off, I wanted to say that in vitro fertilization technology is a great tool and ultimately a great positive advancement in the medical field. Without such technology, people like Stacy’s parents would often not be able to start a family. However, not all parents may be as transparent as Stacy’s and they may go on with their lives without knowledge of potential genetic risks that they have inherited. This would be an ethical violation of beneficence for a physician to withhold such information and parents may have a hand in being able to suppress such records. Genetic screening involved with in vitro fertilization also has the potential to lead to eugenics when patients pick and choose specific traits for their children, or terminate embryos that may exhibit defects or traits deemed undesirable. This seems to echo similar themes in abortion, where early human life is terminated due to inconvenience. I hope the newly passed law addresses some of these topics and I think it is great that Colorado passed legislation granting more rights for donor-conceived people.
You are lucky having Dr Grant in your life . He is been my favorite client all over many years . Love him so much ❤ god bless 🙏🙏🙏
As a Donor from the Netherlands, I can safely say that they don't perform more than 12 (successful) inseminations from the same donor in the entire country (17 million people) I can't imagine some countries/regions to rely on only a hand-full of donors. Also; in the Netherlands (and MANY other countries) the child can ask for personal information from the biological father at the age of 18. I read that in the USA about 70% of donors agree to give up anonymity when donating, so they will be able to be found or contacted as well.
Donors are angels on earth.
This is horrible!! Only due to the title. When one is looking for information when already going through a traumatic experience and find this woman talking about nonsense it’s saddening. Not once have I ever felt anything about my genetics nor do I know any who has growing up. Your parents gave you a great life and you still feel “off” and not grateful??? The concept that simply because there is a potential unknown siblings that it’s scary is silly as if people don’t have secret siblings smh. Then you sit in your luxury to say you’ve gone through fertility treatments and may even use an egg donor but would expose the donor who clearly asked to be anonymous?! Do an open adoption and leave the rest of us out of it…also, apologize to your parents and tell them you are grateful for them loving and nurturing you even when you were appreciative. Ugh so disappointed in this
That’s my coach! ❤
You assume the donor wants to be involved in the child's life...what if they don't? As for a complete medical history, ask your friends who are not donor conceived if their parents actually have a full genetic screening and complete health history. Many people do not go to the physician. Unless you are proposing that extensive genetic testing be done on all donors and recipients...which in that case will drive up the cost exponentially and make it impossible for some people to start a family. In the end, there are many donor conceived children who are happy with status quo. I hope you were able to get pregnant naturally or with your own eggs, but many people are not able to regardless of their age....
it is not a right to have children, children's health (both physical and mental) is the priority
@@f.m.p.782 then are you ready to take away children from women who are not capable of feeding them and continuously rely on social assistance and mother's allowance to support them? Because what exactly is your lame comment addressing? Mental and physical health has not been an issue associated with egg donors, unless their conception is hidden. So please supply your supported evidence or otherwise invest in educating yourself the next time you address this issue.
@@f.m.p.782 that’s cool and all but look at all the people who have children naturally who have no care for their child’s health or mental health.
@@naftac555 I agree. Why we need a driving licence and not a parenting licence ? Why adopting children is that difficult and having one is not?
@@f.m.p.782 exactly. They make adoption nearly impossible… and there are groups who complain about adoption too so… *shrugs*
A+ advocacy! Kudos!
What if I know about someone in my husband's family but the parents will not tell their 31 year old child who is intelligent and has " suspects." Both parents are in their late 70's . What if they die and they never have this conversation with their only child 😢
Encourage that person to take a DNA test, like 23andMe
YES!
Behind all smiles, she is not a happy person. She had loving parents and a happy home and it was not enough for her. Very sad.
As a donor conceived person who grew up in what seemed like it should have been a perfectly happy home, please don't judge her. It's really hard to explain the feeling of not fitting in or being comfortable with your own family. I was told I think in the summer between 1st and 2nd grade, and I don't recall ever talking to either of my parents about it again until a month before my Mom died and she told me the criteria they had used to select a donor. The next time it came up was when my oldest half sister (on paper, she is his oldest daughter, and I'm guessing had issues with it since she had been estranged for many years) brought it up at the hospital a couple days before my Dad died. In so many ways everything seems normal, but mentally, there are so many question marks, and second guessing of basic choices.
So selfish of the parents@@GoingGreenMom
Criteria for a donor,how sad!
If you're not a donor kid, you have ZERO right to judge. You have no idea how difficult it is for us. F off.
I agree with you. For goodness sakes the man that raised her is her father. There's no need for an identity crisis. Very sad indeed.
Exactly
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Busca a tus hermanos, ellos, te quieren, aunque, no sepan que existes, como tú los quieres a ellos, aun sin conocerlos. Con la naturaleza no hay quien pueda, es orden y ley.❤
También: tíos, sobrinos, primos. Es horrible pensar que podrías haber tenido un hijo con cualquiera de ellos, sin saber que sois familia.
La naturaleza no permite legislación: ella es la única ley. No somos Dios.
Tampoco cuando donan tienen experiencia vital ni saben cómo puede afectar a su salud física y mental ni a sus hijos, nacidos de esos óvulos y esperma. No existe el derecho a tener hijos, si la naturaleza, te niega, acéptalo. Tus frustraciones no las pases a un niño, que nunca será tu hijo y se verá obligado a buscar a sus padres y familia.
Ni se te ocurra comprar óvulos. No has aprendido nada, tristemente. Piensa en la chica y en su hijo, sí, su hijo, porque a ella está obligado a buscar. Acepta la esterilidad con dignidad. No hagas daño. Sí la naturaleza te niega, acepta. No eres peor por ello.
Rosario no puedes pretender que tienes la verdad de las cosas, la ovodonacion es sólo una donación de una célula, hacia mujeres que quieren ser madres
@@bbyshark5031 A cell with half of the genetic woman DNA
@@empresswilandefrederici86 We humans share 99.9 % of our DNA just for being in the human specie, it is just 0.05% which is unique from the woman. Anyways, DNA it's just genetic information, it is like a book of instructions to create a human, but the human created does not belong to anyone