Is Childfree Life Pointless?
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- People have told me childfree life is pointless. Does human value only come from having kids and being a parent? Why do men say this to women?
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What's the point of life if you don't have kids? I've heard this comment more than I can count. Value of life is often associated with parenthood and if you live a life without kids it's assumed you just don't add as much value to society. Is childfree life as valuable as a parent's? As a person who lives a childfree lifestyle I don't think my value as a women is tied up in being a Mom. No kids doesn't mean no value. Childfree millennials are valuable in the same way that parents are seen as being valuable. Even without kids.
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I love how that man asked you that as you were providing him a specialized skilled service that he needed. I would have told him to go home and do his own PT if I’m so worthless.
It really was the most ridiculous comment ever.
I wish you could hear me laugh coz that's so funny!😂😂😂
And how many people with kids don’t finish schooling to qualify for PT because their kids prevent them from reaching those goals?
Well said!
Exactly
I'm a Child Free Nigerian guy. It's same way African traditional men want sons for work & to carry family name & wants daughters for future bride price 💵. SADLY 🤦♂️
Traditions can run strong even if they aren't the most ideal way to do things.
Jesus. So basically your people treat humans as commodities. No wonder your country is the fastest growing one in the world. Glad you chose not to have any. I wonder how you could get such a different mindset! Impressive.
People think if I don't have kids that I must live an exciting life and travel a lot, but in reality sometimes I'm just at home chilling after a long work week lol. Either way, it's peaceful and I'm happy with my simple, quiet life.
I can SO relate. Sometimes sitting back with a cup of tea in silence is enough for me.
Oh my goodness, yes!
@@jessjenkins5474 exactly! ❤️ The little things ya know lol
@@WifeWithoutKids before you got married, how did you handle people saying " why get married, if you don't want kids". I'm not married yet, but when I tell people I want to get married, but not have kids, they don't understand it lol
Every child has a right to be passionately wanted. If I don't feel that want, don't force me.
Yes!
My value comes from the fact that I am building my business that will help many many many kids in my city.
And btw, please don't tell me by popping out your kid you have contributed to society. Anyone can pop out kids but to raise them is a different story. Besides, many just pop them out as retirement plans / source of pride / for income anyways
I imagine raising kids is harder work than birthing a child.
I can't get over the idea that this jerk called you invaluable and not contributing to society when you were literally healing his body. That skill is highly valuable and harder than gestating a person.
Pretty ironic, hey?!
Women should most certainly NOT be expected to have kids and couples should not be pressured to have kids. So sad that a woman's value is linked to having children. Child free people live fulfilling lives and in this day and age there's absolutely no need to bring more lives into the world..its totally unnecessary.
Hopefully if we keep normalizing the choice to not have kids it will one day be a non-issue!
I agree, thank you for making these videos Hannah 👍🏻
At 39, I have heard it ALL. Especially from men! I have been labeled things starting from “a monster” to a “hardcore feminist”. Neither of which are remotely true. A huge part of me has now come to despise today’s men and can’t find them attractive anymore because of their mindset and judgment towards us, even though we aren’t at fault for any of this!
I'm 57yrs old and have been questioned all my life about why I don't have kids. The simple answer is "I just had no desire to be a mother" it really is that simple! Worse still, I never married either, I simply never met the right man! So, I have been questioned about no kids/no marriage throughout my life. Nobody bothers me much now as I'm well past having babies! My great-grandmother gave birth to 12 kids and was married to a man who was consistently unfaithful to her and made many other women pregnant over the years. I feel so sad for her, as there was nothing she could do back in those days and I'm glad I am living in a time where it's ok for a woman to live alone and decide kids are not for her!
Yes, I'm so glad we women get to make those choices now. I can't even begin to imagine 12 children!! 😮
Here's my opinion. I didn't ask to be born, and I don't owe society anything. Going to work every day, paying my taxes, paying my bills, being a law abiding citizen, not causing any trouble. There... that's my contribution to society. If I want to do extra I can be a volunteer, donate, run an animal rescue, assist the elderly, join the military, feed the homeless....The list could go on. You don't need kids to do those things. People are so stupid🙄
Societal contributions can be done in so many different ways! You are so right about that.
You nailed it!
Thanks for discussing the topic of value. It’s always implied that we women are meant to produce more of ourselves and partner. All for very irrational reasons.
YES
That is so very true!
I'm a 45 year old male with no kids. I wish we could have them but it's not in the cards for us. We spent thousands trying to get pregnan. I'm not sure where I'm going with this but if you're out there going thorough this or have in the past just know I love you and I feel your pain.
You're are a real gem for how you conducted yourself after that man had the audacity to say such a thing! Honestly, what a jerk! The irony as well, considering he was in your care for a service...
Yup, very ironic.
Oh my gosh I've been struggling with this lately. My husband reassures me that even if we don't have kids working is contributing and being there for our animals is enough. 😁
There are SO many ways to contribute positively to society and the earth. Everyone has their own passions and interests so this looks different for everyone, but it's all important. We feel a lot of pressure because society puts so much emphasis on kids being the only real way to contribute. Um, nope!
He is right as I am a husband and I have the same view
Tbh, Hannah you contribute by doing ur job as a PT. I really get annoyed by people that jump on their high horse and are so quick to judge without any knowledge of why or why not. Years of working in the medical field taught me to judge less and listen more. People may not agree but respect for opinions should exist.
When you work in medicine or allied health professions a lot of your job involves listening!
I've been called selfish. I've been berated by angry mothers when I've complained about their annoying children, I learned to keep my mouth shut in public.
I love how some married couples love their kids but complain when a childfree person has a little more money or free.
We all get to make our own choices. 😃
@@WifeWithoutKids I tell my married friends along the same lines “you made your choice, I made mine.”
Less valuable and less popular in family and friends circles. 😭
Yes, I hear you on that. But not less in this community!
@@WifeWithoutKids ty♥️
I think if women where not indoctrinated with the idea that they must be mothers, a lot more would be childfree in my opinion.
The idea that people can chose to be a parent or not isn't something we hear often.
"what kind of value are you giving back to society if you don't have have any kids..."
Enter the child free babysitters, nannies, teachers, nurses and doctors, even you.
If you feel your life is meaningless because you haven't made some type of huge contribute to society then you need to personally do some soul searching for yourself.
This is just like the parents who told me they had kids to be a kids again because they forgot themselves. Now I'm not bashing on the having kids parts, but if you're so far off that you forgot what it's like to be a kid then you need some soul searching.
I don't need kids for any of those things. I have no kids of my own and was at the theater watching How to Train Your Dragon, with no kids.
If you feel you need kids to do these things then you need help.
I've personally gotten into arguments with people who say a female surgeon who chose her career over a family will live a meaningless life. Meanwhile she's in surgery saving the lives of children.
Moreover, one could produce an offspring that might choose a life of a parasite including harmful activities to nature, hurting others, contributing nothing to society, not giving just taking, draining funds of honest tax payers.... etc. Are their mothers more of a value than a child free women? Many have kids based on egoistic reasons anyway....
Very well stated!
@@kvietimas I came across one guy who was bashing child free AND childless women saying that if a woman doesn't have kids her life is meaningless. I tore him up and down because he's saying a woman who can't have kids is worthless.
Afterwards he deleted that comment but I personally reposted what he said and made it public how he personally agrees that a woman who cannot have kids is worthless.
There's more to life than kids. If you can't see how it's possible then you need to do some soul searching. I have nothing against if people want to have kids because some people LOVE kids. I knew one woman who had 5 kids and was pregnant with her 6th, but she flat out told me she loved kids. Then I work with a guy who is the neighborhood babysitter, he'll help you take care of your kids.
People like that don't bother me. They know they're perfect at being parents as perfect as they can be and do a GREAT job at it, but having kids because you're trying to fill a hole in your own life isn't too much thinking about the well-being of a would-be child as well as possibly, maybe, hurting yourself later down the road by having a kid and realize that hole still isn't filled.
It would be better if people realise that their lives are pointless. Why do people have such narcissism?
Marriage rate in China for people born after 1990 is about 10%. Also divorce rate for this group is 35% and growing. Birth rate is growing to non existing. The new generation around the world has definately changed view a lot and the change is happying faster than most of us expected. I feel I'm not alone in the childfree journey and women became more brave to voice about choice. Although I will choose to be married if I find the right person, I'm not rushing because I know I don't need to have children. True love is hard to find and I can take time for it, and the best is I know I'm no longer alone in the childfree journey.
You aren't alone in your CF journey! We are all here to support each other.
Some people enjoy their sanity and free time.
Thank you so much for all of this. I wanted a child when I was younger but now that I’m approaching middle age, I am SO glad that it never happened. I work with the public and get those questions from random people. A man the other day saw my 13 tattoo on my arm and assumed that’s how many children I had. After saying, “no, that’s my anniversary and my favorite film, Friday the 13th”. He then said, “well, how many children do you have then?” When I said none, he looked confused and dropped it. I recently discovered your channel looking for cleaning and organizing motivation videos without kids. Once I start watching and they start to ramble about kids stuff and toys, I instantly lose interest. I’m happy that I found your channel. I’ve needed it!
So happy you found this community!
Any meaning to life is purely synthetic. It's selfish to have children period. Just try to enjoy your life without creating another. It's pretty simple to me.
It drives me crazy when people ask how many kids Chad and I have and then they look at us like we're mutants when we say we never wanted them. I won't apologize for the fact that I find babies revolting..LOL We rescue cats..not everyone chooses to do that, so what's wrong with those people? Don't they think cats have any value? Doesn't that sound silly when put like that? Ugh!
People all have different paths in life and there's a lot of value in that. We shouldn't all be living life exactly the same way.
I couldn't care less what anyone says to me or about me. I'm NOT having kids and that will never change. But at the same time, I'm grateful that you have these videos out for women (and men) who are being pressured and made to feel bad/guilty/shame...etc., for not wanting kids. Please keep making these videos. We need this more than ever now that the right to choose (abortion) is on the butcher block.
Its so funny how people don't care at all that I don't have kids. I can't believe people are out there pressuring people to have kids.
They need parents to produce cannon fodder for the military
Yes I agree, Your value is not or ever determined by your usefulness to others. You do not have to justify your existence by explaining your life choices or work by things society determines as valuable. This thinking goes beyond child freedom . I Keep saying it to myself until it sticks :D
Very well said.
I don't believe that people should be deemed "valuable" or not...the idea of somehow being "priced" is appaling!!!! People are not objects!!! If we are alive, then that's that, we deserve to live life, period. There are no hierarchies among humans (or at least, there shouldn't be).
As to what we contribute to society, I don't think we are under any obligation to do so, we didn't ask to be born...if people do it, so much the better, but they don't have to. And of course, contributing to society can take many forms. As a matter of fact, given environmental and overpopulation issues, I am not convinced that people having children are in fact contributing but rather the opposite.
As to the "dinosaurs" that still live among us and have such ridiculous ideas about what women should or should not do...well, it is sad that they couldn't find a way to join us in the 21st century. I wouldn't worry too much about them. What we should worry about is why we allow this people to live in our heads. What we are telling ourselves is more the issue here, I think. Great video Hannah!!!!
The best plan it to live a happy life! 😄
No life is pointless. You just have to get away from the assholes of any age who try to devalue you as an individual.
I am 35 and a dental hygienist, married with no children. My older male patient said to me “you don’t want to end up as a 50 year old woman with a whole in her heart”
No, Ed, I sure don’t want to end up that way. Thank you for that exciting future projection.
That comment he made to you is so rude, i would have had trouble continuing with the session 🤬
It was inappropriate/unnecessary and sadly people still think that about childfree women.
@@WifeWithoutKids And on top of all the other blatant reasons he should not have asked nor thought that, you literally were adding value in that very moment to his life because you were his physical therapist, providing treatment! *facepalm* lol
I love your channel. Many of your ideas can apply to anyone. I am a one and done mom. A group of woman that is equally judged for childbearing choices. I always enjoy your perspective and you are spot on. Live and let live we all have value.
Yes, I've seen one child families get a lot of flack for "only having one." We sure all have value! Thanks for your positivity and kind words. 😀🙌
Thank you for this channel thank you for this community.
32 year old child free woman and happily engaged. Thank you for not making me feel like a disgusting pig.
Thank you my family.
I love you all.
I'm sorry, the guy was your patient, whom you literally were helping to get better, didn't see any worth in you? That is just plain dumb and disrespectful.
It's pretty ironic, hey?!
Sometimes I think ppl are encouraged to have kids so that they can join the bandwagon of those who vent about the challenges of parenthood.
I think whether you do or don't have kids both decisions have their pros and cons. Since I like a less complicated life, I chose not to have any, but doesn't mean life will be easy.
I can't believe what a paramedic said to me today. I called for an ambulance because my partner had had a fit. He was extremely nosy, looking at all my belongings and asking stupid questions. He said " Have you got any kids?" I said " No, we only got together last year, I don't have any kids at all ". He said " So you missed the boat completely? How did that happen?" I said I hadn't missed any boat, it was a choice and I'm not a fan of life and think that humans should die out. He said " So you're an animal lover? Have you had boyfriends before?" Why would I not have had boyfriends before just because I chose not to have kids? I even told him it was a choice. He was extremely nosy, asking if I'd ever worked and why I was with my partner as, he's an alcoholic. He was picking all my items up and asking why I had weighing scales as weight was the least of my problems. He started weighing himself and asked me how if I'd been sunbathing because I was brown. I said I had olive skin to start with. He said to my partner how he was so brown when he had the wrong skin type because he's got light ginger hair. He was just non stop nosy while his colleague did the work.
That sounds like a very bizarre conversation to have with a health professional!
finally a video from hannah !! I think it's christmas , lol !! keep them coming hannah , we both are on the mission to depopulate the earth so that other species can live in peace
LOL, yes occasionally I take a week off video making! My goal isn't to depopulate the earth though. I just want to support people who decide to live childfree.
All life is pointless
You’re like the mom I’ve never had! Lol child free for lifeeee. I personally think the idea of adding “value” to society is just as arbitrary.
😀
Women with four children don’t have much income to tax. ….
Somebody ask me if I born one more time and have a choice to have children or not would I have them? I said No straight away because I don't want any responsibilities in my life and its too many people in this world. 😁❤
It doesn't matter if you have value or not.
Thank you 🙂
So welcome.
Rasing a child in Trinidad is very expensive everyone I know always says it even the middle class an rich says the same thing and women don't get good enough benefits for being a mother here which is very crazy so imagine the poor
Definitely an expensive task to raise kids.
Thank you for this video, I needed this said to me today.
I was born in England and came to Australia in 1972 at the age of 5yo.
My family were shipped to Australia under what was known as the 10 pound POM scheme.
This was a government policy of Australia called (and I kid you not) the White Australia Policy.
After World War 2 a lot of the young men of Australia had been killed and the government was worried that they would be overrun by the "Yellow Peril" from the closest neighbours of South East Asia and Japan.
So young families with 10 pounds ($20) and the male with a trade or profession, were sponsored to move to Australia and repopulate it with the right kind of people. Caucasians and some selected European ethnicity were selected.
I was literally imported to my country as breeding stock.
I have served in this counties military, worked as a nurse, and worked in healthcare.
I have volunteered with local community groups and children's sporting groups.
Still my worth and purpose is questioned because I don't have kids.
Worse than that some people telling me I have to do a task in a volunteer group because it is for the kids.
As if my function should be to provide a service for thier kids, because I don't have any of my own.
Then at work being told I don't need time off during certain holidays as the people with kids need that time (every year) because they have kids and those holidays are for the children and families.
Doctors telling me in my younger years that they refuse to perform a sterilisation on me because I might change my mind. Or even more insulting that my future husband might want kids.
Oh honey, if he wants kids, there is no way he will be my husband.
So 9 years of military service and over 30 years as a nurse/healthcare worker still do not make me worthwhile in some people's eyes because I have not procreated.
I believe that many of people that judge me for my choice are questioning theirs.
I am to validate thier choice by desiring the same one.
This is why they get angry and defensive.
I totally support whatever choice you have made for your life, kindly do the same for me.
My choice does not invalidate yours.
It is just that an individual persons choice.
I won't even start on the worthiness of a person who chooses a celibate religious life.
OK rant over, and thank you again for your videos.
I am not alone.
Having Children isn’t important because life is hard enough just to afford living to survive for day to day
Great video! 💖
Thank you!
No one has the right to force you to change who you are just to appeal to them. Live life for you not for society's approval
i am already am devalued cause i am mentally disabled so when someone tells me that i should still have kids anyway , i don't wanna ruin someones life cause of society standards , its bout living and taking care of myself , plus i have PCOS so i cant have kids anyway
I'm sorry people devalue you. It shouldn't be that way ever. 🌷
People That Don't Want Children Shouldn't Really Get Married Then Again I Don't Understand Love
Beautiful message. Thank you so much for this video.
Glad you enjoyed it!
The fact that your patient asked you, a DOCTOR, how you are valuable, blows my mind. It just stems from sexism
based doctor
Loved it! Keep up the (objective/open-minded and respectful) good work!
Much appreciated!
Another amazing video! 😀
Glad you enjoyed it!
Of course they ask this. Misery loves company, LOL!
Regarding the comment about Australia. I'm Australian and it's expensive. Minimum in Sydney for rent your looking at paying A WEEK anywhere from 650 to 1000 a week depending on where you're at.
Its expensive to have kids but Australia has a huge welfare society.
You get paid to have kids in Australia especially if you're unemployed in fact if you're unemployed you get way more benefits then those of us employed.
Basically once you are a single parent the government pays you about 450 a week plus more for every dependent child.
80 percent of Australians shouldn't have kids young unemployed but the government provides them the means.
These single parents get looked upon nicer then us child free mutants.
In fact Australia is very well known for if you don't want a job have a kid.
Please help me! I don’t have kids, am 47, but I can’t be happy of the prospect of not having a family. My parents will pass, then what? Dogs are my favourite, but they don’t live long enough sadly. So what is the alternative to having a family?
Family doesn't just have to be blood-related. I think it can be helpful to build a community around you of people that have similar interests or lifestyles. Many cities also offer volunteer opportunities to work with kids/young adults as well. 😀😀
Raw fun she lacks😂
Who was the female explorer you referred to in the video? The black and white picture :)
Elizabeth Cochran who also went by the name Nellie Bly.
Do you have a pet would you want a pet ?
Personally, I think we need to have fewer children. Especially with how American culture has regressed lol
I'll never understand the "kids cost a lot" argument. My parents surely never spent much on me. Didn't get any gift or even clothes and summer camps were almost for free. When I went to boarding school It was 360 euros for 3 months of full time board. (France). Sports after school was probably 30 euros a year. Didn't have pocket money. I think kids cost a lot because parents spoil their kids to begin with.
ADDITIONALLY, Miss Grace Stinger, no kids, purchased the shell of a tiny house last year. She and her partner DJ Craig Jukes built a tiny house during lock down on her parents farm in Worcester. The tiny home is named Tiny Blue. Financial independence and freedom for this couple with no kids and their puppy named, Nellie. (September 2021)
why does everyone only think about the economical aspect of having children or not...
Also, sadly, childfree, a stewardess retraining to be a pilot after a cancer scare dies in plane crash. Ms. McKenna Vierra, who was 27 years old was flying in a Cessna plane in Alaska. (July 2021)
That's so young! Condolences to her family and friends.