Misery loves company, they just hate on people like us because we have the freedom to do whatever we want, when we want and how we want. They just want to drag us down with them.
Definition of Selfish: "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure". Bringing children into this world is actually a selfish act. People have children because they want to. Children didn't ask to be born. Pay attention to the keywords "You Want". "You wanted" to leave a legacy, "you wanted" a family, "you wanted" someone to take care of you when you get older, "you wanted" experience the love and bonding with your own children...etc. It's all about YOU! It's what "you wanted". YOU wanted to have children despite all the suffering the child will endure. It's literally the epitome of selfishness. Raising children is a selfless act, but the decision to actually have children is a selfish one. That doesn't mean having children isn't a beautiful thing. It is! Let's just not pretend like it wasn't all about you.
Being a libertarian, I know that would lead to some sort of 1920s America-style eugenics. But it probably would benefit the children to never be, especially with some of the parents out there being so shit.
In theory I can understand the desire to require some basic competence to have kids, however, that's not a power I'm comfortable with our highly flawed government having.
Wow! That wasn't meant that serious! I'm not demanding anything like this, that would be terrible inhuman! Some people (some of them are actually parents), that are so stupid, childish and/or bad at parenting, that i wish they would never have (had) children. And there is a solution for extreme cases - child care.
Go ahead and be offended umm humans are not suppose to worry about other people’s needs and wants but if we did we would DIE so sometimes you have to stand them
@@joemama4lifersss348 Uh, yeah we are supposed to be concerned with other people's needs and wants, we're social animals, not solitary animals. Infact, the only thing keeping us alive is caring about others.
What do you mean? There are people who don't have kids but do like animals. Animals are easier to take care of than kids so it's not surprising that there are people who don't have kids but do have pets.
I think this whole discussion is kinda insane. The decision of having a child should only be a personal one, nothing anyone should be guilt-ed into with "but think of the society" bullshit.
@@terocool7625 Skall brought up the the issue of "infinite economic growth", which is _in part_, the reason why countries like sweden are mass importing foreigners. I'm also pretty sure he's against the idea of mass-unfettered immigration for the issues it causes and brings. Though that is presumptuous of me and only he can speak for himself. A part from the rat race, its a bit ironic you bring up zionism, considering this video is a reply to an orthodox Jew, Ben Shapiro, whoms renowned among people like you for being controlled opposition. Regardless, Skall didn't imply what you're suggesting, quite the opposite on the issue of Africa, NOR did he suggest that everyone (whites in particular) stop having children.
When I was 17, I knew a few people in their 40's that didn't have kid's. They had a great life. I knew then it was a no brainer. Never changed my mind to be childfree. That was 41 years ago. A lot of 50 something's are giving their 30 something kid's money and/or raising their grandkid's.
What I find baffling is after accusing me of being selfish hey make comments like "I find it really rewarding", "it gives me meaning and purpose" and so on. Every comment is about them and how they feel, yet I'm the one who's selfish....
Fury255 wait, you called him delusional? To claim that life is a gift is high level delusion. Life is not a gift, it’s a burden and one that you can choose not to place after you set aside your selfish wants and desires and think about what you are doing. You’re gambling an unnecessary life in hopes that it brings YOU joy, never mind the new life you just placed into this soul crushing pile of shit.
People hate on the childfree and call them selfish because they're projecting their own insecurities. If the childfree are happy, that means everything we're taught about how children are a necessary part of life is wrong. We are in a transition phase where society is slowly realizing it's acceptable to opt out of being a parent. People like us are making the choice for ourselves before it's fully socially acceptable, which REALLY angers some people. They're angry that we do what makes us happy vs following the crowd like they do.
Exactly... They are low key bitter they have to be haggered raising handful unruly kids while childfree folk can do anything they want especially sleeping lol
Unfortunately, too many people out there don't use their brain and just tap into this "children are a part of life" bullcrap instead of realizing they actually have a choice.
I've always been for abortion, I don't intend to convince you, but I can at least give my opinion : In the case of an unwanted pregnancy (contraception failing mostly), you can't blame the parents, it's totally out of their control. Then, when the embryo is not even a few days old, I don't see the problem with abortion, it is just a bunch of cells which are not conscious at all. The question is, where do we put the frontier (between baby and embryo) ? I don't have an answer, but I know one thing, I don't think killing an embryo is worse than letting it live to be an orphan...
Abortion should not be an option because you didn't take precautions and were not careful because you were to horny to do so. that being said their are a lot of parents that raise shitty kids into a cycle. Responsibility should be placed on both parents, not just the father. Women run out on men all the time and the fathers get little to no help what so ever, but a woman gets the moon, and the more you have the more lobsters you get. this needs to stop.
I'm cautious about abortion becoming an encouraged solution of unwanted children. I don't like the idea of abortion turning into a 1st resort. It is perfectly possible that our culture could turn into one that freely dispenses with the idea of having an abortion; attitudes becoming more similar to 'getting your appendix out' or 'having an invasive cosmetic surgery'. I imagine Carl Jung would have had something to say about how the unconscious may be affected multiple abortions, too. At the end of the day I want mothers to have abortion as an option, as a last resort. The decision of abortion, in my personal opinion, should remain wrought with doubt, anxiety and hesitation.
Wife and I are in our 50's, best decision not to have kids for us. I also knew at a young age that I didn't want kids. Plus, really, who in their right mind would bring a child into a failing society and environment!!
Because people in their right minds want people in future generations to change it? To improve it? And if you impart good values to your children they are likely to live out those values? It's a vote on the future of the world but you just abstained.
Frankly I see people who choose not to have children as the responsible ones... our planet is dangerously overpopulated already - the human race is still exploding too rapidly, especially when one considers there is only enough readily-accessible fresh water for about 12 billion people.. which we will easily hit within 100 years.. after 12 billion fresh water becomes very scarce and poor nations will have massive die-offs. I'm 40 now and decided around age 30 I never want to have children - both because I feel no desire to be a parent and because I have to ask "Why?" .. The world around me is so fucking crowded already the last thing I want to do (or have others do) is contribute to the goddamn problem.
Being selfish, to the best of my understanding, is to put your own needs over those of other people. I do not have children, so they have no needs because they don't exist, ergo, i cannot by definition be selfish, at least not in that specific regard.
The only reason why people are encouraged by society to have children is because not so long ago child mortality rates were through the roof, life expectancy was through the floor and we were at war more than when we were at peace. Now, thankfully, this isn't the reality so there ought to be no derision aimed at those not wanting kids. In this day and age having kids is a pleasure that can be chosen to be indulged in should one desire, not a compulsory necessity.
First off, whoever thinks it's essential to HAVE children is a fool. If you can barely sustain yourself, then you don't have the right to bring up a child, much less engage someone in a relationship with that kind of situation.
Why even bother having kids if you're gonna die, anyway? Why the fuck wouls someone even care after that? Might as well just enjoy life while it lasts.
It's 2018 and there is still prejudice against M-F couples living their lives without children. It seems that gay couples can do that lifestyle just fine, but straight couples ? NO WAY !! Lots of people will RESENT it. People with children want you to suffer and risk divorce, like every other couple that has children. It is one of the last great social prejudices remaining today. It is just insane.
You are absolutely right about that. My husband and I are childfree by chance, not by choice. I resent people coming right out and asking me if I have children. Then when I say no, I get very surprised looks, etc. And I will also tell you that because of the type of career that I have, I am privy to a lot of private things people will tell me and many parents are miserable. They tell me because I am a safe person to tell. But here's what else I have also been privy to and that is that most parents enjoy their children once their children are grown and particularly once their children marry and have children of their own. They love being grandparents, as long as they are not in the role of raising them because that changes the dynamics considerably. It's like parenting all over again. But true grandparents get to love and spoil their grandkids without worrying about how they'll turn out, etc. because it's ok for grandparents to spoil kids; but parents cannot because they will raise brats. I also don't know anyone who has gone to their deathbed saying they were glad they were childfree or that they wish they'd never had children. Nope. Never heard that but not saying it doesn't exist. I just haven't heard it. It's just that when you're in the midst of raising children, it's *HARD* but it gets rewarding after they're grown and moved out, are successful, and self-supporting...provided they're not on drugs or in prison.
How many people have you been with whilst on their death bed? Why would someone who has got to the end of their life even worry about regretting not having kids? Maybe the people who could not have children due to being infertile but it is very unlikely a person who chose to be childfree is going to spend their last moments on earth regretting not having kids. They would be cherishing the good times, not worrying about non existent children.
The hell kinds of drugs would you need to be taking to think being child free is selfish?! The level of idiocy and bottomfeeding IQ needed for the mental arithmetic it would take, is astonishing. But then again, this is why I would rather not leave my home: most people are unfathomably unintelligent.
I like to take a more cynical viewpoint, that the rich who want to stay in power pay people to spew out stupid shit as propaganda to people so they are occupied with wondering how stupid people can be instead of seeing the real problem, which is of course the rich having enough power to do that in the first place.
The drugs where you haven't decided that western civilization is evil and you want to give up by being childless and working to support foreigners replacing you.
It’s a part of the immigration debate. ‘We need mass immigration to compensate for low birth rates’ + ‘whoops turns out those immigrants aren’t assimilating’ = ‘You’re selfish for not having children because it means the native population will become a minority.’
Except there can be selfish reasons and motives for having kids OR being child free. Its not a simple dichotomy inside of a inconsequential vacuum. We live in this thing called reality where things get chaotic and complicated. +darkblood626 that ties into the notion of continuous (infinite) economic growth and expansion. At least to Wigs with power and wealth, they desire cheap excess labor willing to undercut one another, and to play upon their prejudices and fears.
My parents told me I was selfish for not wanting kids, because they wanted grandkids (never mind that I have lots of siblings who have made me an uncle many times over). They wanted me to radically change my own life by doing something I knew I didn't want to do, so they could have something they wanted ... and yet, I was the selfish one. If you want grandkids, adopt them and raise them yourself. Oh, you don't want the responsibility of raising kids again? You want someone else to do that, so you can just visit when it's convenient for you? And yet I'm the selfish one.
The Horned King tbh my internet friend there are tons of books out there how to be a parent and also u can ask for advice on people and have no fear u will never raise a child alone u have ur wife family members etc no fear there cheers btw just a thought i wanted to share
Yama Yami 1st of all u were the rude one and the sad thing is yoyr friend chose poorly for a wife the thing is u as a male when want a gf u dont need to searcg in the mentality of simply get a gf but a future mom that will bear ur child and help u usher him in the future and i never state or forced him to concieve a child i simply ecourged him dont be afraid there are people to help you in the long run and countless books about diff stuff etc also sorry to hear for ur friend he chose poorly and now that will haunt him such stuff must never be rushed ans be done in time and plz refrain from being an ass to me cheers m8
Yama Yami also u never rush a child untill u get a good healthy realtion ship with ur wife close family and alsl ar e ready mentaly and financaly its ez to stick it in and do the deed there ar e others things that needs to be put in account my sister took vitamines ans other stuff for 2 years to ensure a healthy baby now she is onher 7th month of labor and the baby is healthy af and growing big thank god for that this stuff cant be rushed and both partners must be ready mentaly for it again cheers no hate just stating and having an opinion exange friend also hope ur friend gets better
Well, no one ever really feels 100% prepared for a child. A lot of people after a birth or adoption feel like WTF HAVE I JUST DONE?! It's normal to be a little scared or uncertain. Doesn't make you a bad parent. There is tonnes of advice and classes out there. However, it is your decision 100% and at no point should you feel pressured into it. I've made the decision not to have children because I have a genetic condition that could put any children of mine in a wheelchair. I decided I didn't want to take the risk.
Stettafire tbh bro to me a bad parent is someone who rushes this sort fo stuff and doesnt want to learn and adapt ask other peoppe its ok and normal to be scared its what makes us human tho by no mean its what it should make u stop having kids thx for typing ur opiniom i repsect it and agree fully and sorry to hear about ur conditiom god bless u mate and cheers
Jacinda Peters you have my support. You have every right to decide if you want kids or not and it doesn't make you Selfish to not want any. If you don't want kids you don't have to have none if you don't want to.
Ok, so my fiance and I dont want kids. We dont want the responsibility. We want to afford nicer things, travel the world, and retire early. We want to put ourselves first. Is that selfish? Kind of sounds like it. Do we care? Absolutely not.
This issue again, commented last time and I'll comment again. You guys do you Skall, having a child takes up alot of your time and finances. I love my daugther above all, but its not for everyone. Personal struggles with anxiety and whatnot can hamper both yours and the childs well being. I know quite a few who have decided against getting children due to various personal issues, even though they would make great parents. Demanding that others should get children is selfish, not deciding not to have them. Keep up your awesome work
Aldo Polo There is one. Deciding to have a baby without understanding/caring about the level of investment (both temporal, emotional and financial) raising the resultant child requires. Caused a few arguments between my wife and I, and I was just holding off till we were more established. Choosing not to have a kid selfish, maybe. It depends on the actual reasons they have for it, and even if the reasons are selfish there is a fair chance the resultant child from such a forced coupling (if they don't want to do it and are required or coerced into it then it is forced) would have been better off not born. Skall isn't selfish in this.
@@corwinhyatt519 well you are right I was talking about a racional and calm decision, a one without being forced as couple to have a child, and certaintly the situation you describe is the reason why my country is full of children that are either kids without love or spoiled brats; good observation on your part bro And also, yes Skall is not selfish at all :D cheers
The thing is everything we do is selfish, and not having kids is selfish in the same way as not eating something because you're on a diet, but have kids is more like want clones of yourself, but less selfish, its just a choice
"Don't underestimate my power" - A single child I think people who have such dedication to their stance won't watch videos of an argument against them.
overpopulation is an issue. theres children in need of adoption. nothing wrong with not having a kid, but there is something wrong with having a kid and not bring able to provide.
For much of recorded history, billions of people have been forced by empires and religions and social pressure to have children, to the point of poverty, hunger, having no legal rights of their own on the matter, and repeated risk of death. Those sexually enslaved people are called "women." Worldwide statistics have shown that when women have the right to choose their own life and control their own resources and destiny, they only have 0 to 2 kids each and the population level heads back into balance with the environment.
@@animistchannel2983 You're right, but that wasn't (or, more realistically, isn't) done with any justification like that 'child free is selfish' bs, it's done because people are sexist arseholes. In today's somewhat more enlightened days (in some parts of the world, at least) forcing someone to have kids with social pressure is absurd. And what kind of moron in a modern society cares about whether or not someone else has kids anyway? It's quite literally none of their fucking business.
Yah, it's good to see the spread of human rights and enlightenment. I was just inclined to mention it because of how far there still is to go in so many places. I go back and forth between hope and impatience, trying not to let myself get complacent with the margin of progress so far. I've got some of that "eternal guardian" thing going on, with the next Dark Ages potentially just one fundamentalist religious movement away.
+Druu Dru Agreed. Thankfully nobody has any legal authority to force anyone to have children in 2018. But, as animist channel points out, that has not always been that way at all places & times in history.
When they say they want the birth rate to go up, they mean they want people like them to breed more for the cause. They definitely don't want people who are the wrong colour, religion, or ideology making more kids. If your DNA is the only way to contribute to society, you need to rethink a few things about your life.
Being a pretty generic, white, handsome guy. I think I can agree with this.. I've worked around an elderly home and hear it alot.. "Oh. do you've children?" and i take it as a joke.. I'm only 25, for god's sake.. But when I hear about my coworkers, (a guy from Africa, another from Pakistan, a couple girls, both from Egypt) and I *never* hear good stories about when they talk about their own children. mind you, i know it's an eldery home, with frustrated and depressed old folks. but still
Julian Rossi I found the self-righteousness of this comment to be pretty funny tbh. Your basically bragging about turning yourself into an evolutionary dead end. Thanks for voluntarily striking your DNA from the gene pool so that fewer future people are genetically predisposed to have similar traits to you, I guess. Also, great strawman of people who care about the continuation of their Genetics, Family, Ethnicity, etc as "only contributing to society via DNA" as if having/wanting kids automatically stops you from being an individual that's capable of doing anything else. I'm sure that's a totally honest argument and not just a gross misrepresentation of people you disagree with that you use to make yourself feel better.
I was not being selfish when I decided I'll go child-free. Why? Because I know I wouldn't be a good father. I don't want to permanently traumatize a kid because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and because I don't have the patience to deal with a tiny human. I don't want to turn into my father. Because my father, is not good at being one.
39 now won't change my mind as well 😊 happy to be child free and I really wish people around me understand it. Unfortunately a lot of people questions about my choice and hate to keep explaining or having to explain.
It's a myth that "once you have children you become less selfish." Having children only amplifies what you already are. If you're a selfish person before having children, you will become even more so (hence the folks who take up an entire aisle in a store or sidewalk with their strollers, oblivious that there are other people around). You might take care of your children's needs but there are many people who do this because they see it as an "investment" of sorts (e.g. "my children will be there for me when I get old", etc.). VERY few people have children because they want to give back to the world; to raise good children who grow into good adults and bring good into the world. In fact, I've never heard one person say that as a reason they had children. My brother is a perfect example of someone who became more self-absorbed once he had a child. He started calling the family less and less, even as our father is very elderly (one could argue that he is setting an example to his now teenage child that 'this is what you do when you become a father; you neglect your family of origin'.). Prior to having a child, he was much more attentive and thoughtful. He is not any longer. In my humble opinion, having a child has not made him a better person. He has become very thoughtless and selfish but methinks he had a tendency to be that way prior to having a child but it just became more pronounced when he became a father. Anyway, I won't try to change anyone's mind about having children. I think children are wonderful. But I don't think choosing parenthood or choosing not to be a parent is going to automatically make someone a better person.
8:33 Now that is actually being selfish and immoral. Create a life without any responsibility. It is far responsible to not have children at the first place.
I made the choice to not have a child, or even get married, at a young age and I'm happy with my decision. I'd be a bad father and a husband and I know that. I hate young children and can't tolerate them.
i compleatly agree with most of what you say here, there is definately no shortage of childeren who need homes (orphans/foster/adoption) there is NO obligation to have childeren, (or any risk of human extinction) and when you have genetic ilness, or the doctor says theres a high likely hood you offspring will be invallid, DONT, just cause your child can grin and make "happy" sounding gasping noises dosent mean they are happy or experiance a quality of life rant; it seems to me that theres alot of "absent parenting" going on these days, you cant have kids, make your family help take care of them, then proceed with a "i just came home from work, go play" attitude kids need alot of sturcture early on, so they learn and understand very basic things, like "no" dosent mean "ask someone else" or that people need "space" and "time away from others" and other such things they only pick up on when they have a high degree of "fruitfull" interaction do you remember you teacher sitting next to you 1v1 and helping you learn to read, and sound out the words, and understand whats hapening in the story? no?!, thats cause they didnt (if they did then thier super special) your parents did, cause thats what a parents job is, to teach thier kids the basic functionality for life ive seen 3yr olds who are nearly self-suficient, and 8yr olds who need reminders (and help) to wipe thier butt, "having kids" dont make you a "parent", (a parent properly raises childern not just produces them) "visiting" dosent mean they get to take care of your kids for the time, (you come over to "say hi" and maybe play, not to have others play parent to your childern) end rant im mostly the oposite, i like kids, i like the idea of kids, even as young as 5 i knew i wanted to have at least 1 child, and had a "sense" that i would be a great parent, however, as life turns out, school locked me in a literal closet for 13 years, i had very little social interaction, and now im a recluse with a fear of leaving the house, needless to say im not going to be finding myself with spouse or in any economic shape to have any child, genetic or not, anytime in the forseeable future that and my personal beliefs, im repulsed by the concept of capitolism, the work i do get, i do for "free" (seems people dont believe in reciprocity though) no income + no time = no "life"
They use one or both of two arguments (evolution and creationism) to browbeat people into having kids: "Don't you know? God said "go forth a multiply" and you MUST OBEY or you are helping out Satan!!!" According to lots of modern Americans, Christian morals apparently demand that you have kids, despite the long history of the church encouraging celibacy. (Obviously, even if you aren't Christian, they still demand you multiply). Or the other argument; "White people will be displaced by brown people who have more kids, and that's BAD because natural selection says whoever has more kids wins. We can't let the brown people win!!! They're brown, and stuff..." The same people who demand you obey their literalist interpretation of Genesis turn around and use Social Darwinism to try and convince you that white people will go extinct if you don't have kids. I think they should go read Malthus, and really consider the ramifications of adding yet more people to the human population.
Black Spruce Early Christianity was antinatalist; Judaism is the polar opposite. What better evidence is there than the fact that the Jews still exist as a people?
It doesn't. I left a message about that. It only amplifies what you already are. If you're selfish prior to having kids, having kids will make you even more selfish. For example, you might take care of the child's needs but it will likely be for very selfish reasons (e.g. wanting to have them there to care for *you* in old age).
It's a death sentence for a new conscious entity. It's an unknown and unpredictable amount of unnecessary suffering for said entity. Having a child is probably one of the most evil things you can do.
To reproduce is one of the basic animal instincts and some smarter people can try to think about it rationally and decide accordingly to their skills and abilities.
I remember learning about this in one of my classes but essentially there's the idea of children as an investment that doesn't seem to be as big of a consideration in developed countries compared to in developing countries. One of the reasons people had so many children in the past was because they wanted to make sure that at least one of them survived long enough to be able to take care of them when they were old and frail.
This is a major factor both in the past and in less wealthy countries today. The fact is, in some countries, if you don't have kids to take care of you when you're old then no one will.
Buzzfeed is adamantly pronatal. They covered Ned's son's birth. Their videos about "childfree" topics are mostly silly and cutesy videos that do not explore childfree stances as seriously as they covered Ned's family goals and relationships of the Try Guys.
I intend to be single and not have any kids my entire life. Most of my future plans and ambitions have no chance of success if my time is tied up by someone else. If someone asks me "What if you can't take care of yourself when you're old?" I'll say "There's a perfectly good overpass right down the road" LOL.
In my opinion people who say youre selfish for not wanting kids are the real selfish ones. Some people just don’t have it in them to want to be parents and that’s fine. I’d rather have kids being raised by someone who actually wanted them in the first place than someone who felt pressured by society to reluctantly reproduce. Me personally, I do want to be a parent one day, but it’s not for me to dictate who has kids and doesn’t.
Having _incoherent screaming_ children _projectile vomitting in the distance_ is _snot-nosed sobbing_ a _crashing glass noises_ joy _rancid diaper shart smells_ you _crying in a restaurant_ just _screaming for toys in a store_ need _kid dials 911 for fun_ to _food being thrown on the walls in protest_ take _sharpie noises on the TV screen_ responsibility
Fury255 It’s selfish because they pop out kids for their own selfish reasons, like ”I want a mini version of my partner/myself”, ”I want to pass on my knowledge/life experience/world view”, ”I want to live my life through them because I failed at reaching my own dreams”, ”I want to feel important, like I do something great in my life, by creating a human that will be dependent on me”, ”I dont want to miss out on this experience of parenthood that everyone else is experiencing” Basically none of the reasons to have kids have anything to do with the kid itself, its all about the parents. The unborn child is not knocking through heavens door like ”let me out, give birth to me”, no that child does not exist yet therefore have no will to live nor not live, the will for the child to exist is the will of the parents. Therefore it is allways selfish. BUT, it is okay to be selfish too, just dont walk around telling yourself you are a hero for raising children you chose to create.
@Fury255 it's a decision one has to take for oneself, if you feel the urge to produce children, feel free to, just don't think that's the right thing for everyone to do. where did you draw that assumption from? and define "contributing to society", if you'd be so kind my point is, stop harrassing people on the internet with your world view and YOUR problems with theirs. if this topic enrages you that much how about you don't click on a video with such a title? unless, of course you are one of the people that just need to argue with others and intentionally seek out their presence just to piss them off, because that's what this seems like to me.
@@sandymartynov973 I want some things, everyone wants something. So does that mean that i'm selfish for wanting to go outside today? Am i selfish for wanting to eat something today? Am i selfish for wanting to pet my animals?
Imagine shaming someone bc they don’t want throw up all over the place and waking up at 3am and change stinky diapers .if your not gonna help us raise them shut your mouth
@Martim Xavier It was also horrible having children in the past, but people didn't have the access to birth control that they do now. Also, in ages gone by, women really had no choice if they wanted to survive. Now times have changed. I am so thankful and grateful to have been born in an Era and a country where I have a choice. I chose not to have kids, which has made my life so much easier and better. I learned from my mother how stressful and hard life is with children. My older sister and I are both childfree.
I'm getting married in two months, so this topic has come up a lot lately. People don't seem to understand that we don't want kids. My fiancé's mom abandoned him as a baby, why on Earth would he of all people bring an unwanted child into this world? He knows what it's like to have a parent regret his existence. So no, judgmental family members, we will not procreate to appease your desires to have grandchildren. It's their expectations of us that are truly selfish.
In biology class we talked about two islands where scientists put equal numbers of reindeer. The islands look pretty much the same except for one island having high cliffs at the coast, while the other one was completely flat. The only food source for the reindeer were slow-growing lichen. On the island with the cliffs the population was low but stable, as in winter it was regulated by reindeer falling down the cliffs in snowstorms. On the flat island the population skyrocketed only for the reindeer to suddenly go extinct on the island. The extremely high numbers of reindeer had eaten all the food on the island faster than it could grow. I fear that the flat island is what is going to happen if we keep reproducing in such absurdly high numbers, we will simply run out of resources and that was it. You might say "but we're not going to go instinct without oil!", but think about what will happen if we run out of recourses like oil or, most importantly, clean water. That would lead to a war that would be a bloodbath like nothing before. The whole world would fall into chaos. Is this what we want? No. So stop fricken denying overpopulation, random people who are the reason for videos like this! (I am in no way saying that people who want to have children are bad people, we of course still need some people to reproduce, what I'm saying is don't think that you need to all people to reproduce for the survival of our species, so stop calling people like Skall selfish) That turned out to be way longer than I expected, I'm sorry for my pessimism and my habit of writing endlessly long RUclips comments.
ppl who are unsure of their choice should watch Toddlers and Tiaras. That'll answer your choice real quick. I always thought having a kid was selfish because parents make them to live through them, cause their own childhoods were so shit. How is it not selfish to want a thing that might not want you as a parent?
To understand the phenomenon further, let's look at the reasons why people have children. These are the answers received from all the parents I know personally. * some feel lonely * some think they are smart and need to pass on those qualities * some think about the time they will get old and helpless * some like to take care of others and shape their personalities * some want to blend in so the society doesn't judge them harshly * some have to do lists and they only need to check kids, not necessarily with love or real interest * some prefer to invest in their kids' life because they see themselves as lost causes, e.g they don't have a PhD but always wanted recognition so they will receive it through their children * some consider themselves beautiful and they want to have a beautiful child because their partner is handsome * some want kids earlier in life because they want a person to trust * some want kids because they want to teach others how to live * some want to prove to society how generous they are and they consider themselves superior for raising children, in the end they are doing it to prove something to others, rarely to themselves, so it's a recognition issue *some people want to be the parents they never had (superior attitude again, I'm better than my parents and I will show them how to do it) * some people are born with the skills and they really love kids, these are the ideal parents
yeah same. i am 24 and for as long as i remember i have never wanted children and i can barely stand my sisters little kids when they are here. also i don't want anyone else to have the slight chance of getting my problems.
There are more ways to contribute to society then breeding. There's art science and yes making exceptional RUclips videos. Personally I think YOU have found one of your ways to contribute. Keep up the great work and to hell with what others think.
The quality of the person matters as well. If people have children because they want to contribute to society but raise the children poorly and the children turn out terrible or at the very least useless than that is not a contribution to society. Actually it would be better if those people were never born and those immature people to never have become parents.
"Oh yeah, i want it"... that's what my ex-wife said. Now I'm a single dad. Funny thing; I didn't want to breed for a long time and was sure I would suck as a parent, and as she got pregnant it was like "Now I'm responsible for that little human being, and I will take this task as i take every task - with 100% effort. Failure is not an option." Had some really bad time since then (not because of my kid), and after all I think it went well. I'm sure not the perfect dad, and will never be, but that's okay as long as I keep trying ;) To you Skall, I think you might be too hard with yourself. You never really know how good you are at something without trying. But anyway, if you don't want to try it's fine. Your life, your decisions. Selfish are those who demand stuff from others... like to have children, for example.
Sadly however, you can NOT just TRY having children. (Unless you babysit for more than a month but who gets that blessed opportunity) You can't just have a trial period of 3 months with a human life and then throw it out because you decide it's not for you. I understand what you are trying to say, and I agree for the most part. Just that technicality itched me the wrong way. It is also a fear I inherently have. What if I do want it, and then when it comes, it turns out I hate every living breathing moment of it or just suck at it? I'd rather be 100% sure than gamble with a life based on a moment's infatuation or whim.
Absolutely true about the no trial part. Basically it's a matter of personality - are you willing to take the responsability for a child, or not. And I think people like Skall, who think they would suck as parents, might be the best parents in the end because they see how much responsability it means having a child.
Considering so many people my age (mid 20's) is going crazy having multiple kids and getting married, it has made me considerably care less about ever dealing with a child. Plus I suffer from severe anxiety and depression so I doubt I could ever find a woman to deal with me anyways.
My girlfriend recently told me that she is struggling to want children. I’ve been looking more into being child free and the benefits of it and I’m really encouraged by videos like these. Thank you!
I can relate to her struggle. I told my husband recently because the topic got brought up about the future and if we should have a kid or not. It was really difficult because he said he felt ready for it if I was, but I'm not and have been struggling to even want it. I just don't feel the urge or desire to be a mom and I'm terrified of pregnancy and birth and just don't feel like I'd be a good enough parent because of my mental health issues. It made me feel bad for him because I know he'd probably be a wonderful attentive father, unlike mine who barely acknowledges his 14 kids existence. But he's also not pushing it and reassured me that he's perfectly happy with just me in his life and gave me a big hug. He's always been on the fence about it and it hasn't been one of his goals to have a kid. Only if I wanted it so he gave the decision to me since I'd be the one who would have to carry the child for nine months and give birth. Something he doesn't want to have to put me through. I love him so much I can't even put it in words. 🥺❤️
Learning and education is the exact reason why humankind has gotten so far. Our intellegence surpasses evolution in speed and effectiveness. An animal could eat poisonous plants for thousands of years until one manages to pass on a resistance A single human can die to the same plant and survivors would avoid it, saving needless deaths and immidately working.
As someone who is homosexual and gets more than few comments from the ladies on my handsome looks (their words, not mine), it's always amusing whenever people ask me if I'm going to have kids, and then find out that I'm gay and have a boyfriend. Their reaction is just so perfectly angry. A few of my favorite responses: "Well, I hope you're happy wasting your potential with another man." "You ain't gonna do anything useful wasting yourself on him, f*g!" "Are you at least going to adopt a kid?" Look, people, even if I were straight, I wouldn't want kids. Firstly, I'd make a horrible father; I'm scatterbrained, disorganized and bad with making important decisions. Secondly, as someone who has the misfortune of living in the Southern US, there is practically no social safety net; even if I had kids, if I were to fall ill, get fired from whatever job I might have, or (gods forbid) die on the job, those children would be screwed. So no, I would not want to put anyone through that, especially not any hypothetical and unlikely offspring. Third, and probably most important, is that I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. I am my own person, and I'm not going to bend the knee to an arbitrary social pressure, especially when doing so would probably result in a future that is just that much worse for everyone.
As a childfree woman it’s great to hear a childfree mans pov. Which is basicly the same opinion as mine. So great to hear it back like an echo. Makes me feel good about my decision. A lot of people give me shit for it.
I agree over population is real. Eventually we are gonna be living on top of each other... Literally, instead building across the land we be building vertical so save room. Not to mention resources are gonna be so much more difficult to get. Mind blowing fact: if 90% of the world population died out. We still be more populated then back in 16th or 17th century
You, Skall., have earned much more of my respect. Antinatalism is the way to go (though that term may not fully apply to you, Skall.); I had my vasectomy just 2 days ago.
Only thing about adoption is that the government makes it incredibly difficult and expensive, and will analyze every aspect of your life before allowing it. Meanwhile they don't give a shit who pops out however many kids they want.
Perhaps a better way to contribute to society would be through volunteer work, like at a homeless shelter or a daycare. Why not care for those who are already alive, than pump out more people who will, inevitably, have needs one day. That would only add to the strain.
I choice at the age of 12 years old didn't want kids, 24 years later I still feel the same way. When I'm around kids or baby I don't feel anything or have interest in them. To be honest, I have no patience for kids when misbehave, I have for people, animals. So expensive to raise and like my sleep too Have other reasons but, it's too long could be here all day. Later on play get my tubes get tied. Parenthood is not everyone it's not a must.
Rewatched this many months after I first watched it (nine months, ironically), and this totally resonates with me, even more than it did when I first watched it. When I came out to my mom as being asexual, she said I would change my mind if I found the right guy. That’s just... no. I know that I don’t want some dude to stick his parts in me, just like Skall knows he’d never get kids and just like (hopefully) everyone here knows they’d never eat human flesh. I’d also never adopt a kid or use some more ... clean method of procreation, as I also know I’d be a horrible parent and I just don’t see why this should be (according to many) my life goal. I decide what makes me happy and what my goals in life are. If I want to contribute something else to society than some genes for an inner clock that makes me be wide awake until 2 am no matter what I try to bend it to societies norms, then they should let me do that. Having a brain child, some work of art or technology I created, some masterpiece that has a lasting positive impact on society would be a way better contribution to society and would actually make me happy, unlike being forced by societies pressure to do the nasty and spend an unmeasurable amount of time and emotional resources on something I never really was the right person to do. Why do people find it so offensive when someone is different? Is it some reflex reaction to avoid questioning your life choices? Does the mere presence of someone who doesn’t want to live like they do scratch their ego?! This has gotten longer and more of an angry rant than I intended it to be, sorry for that. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this video and that I can really identify with what Skall said. Thank you, Skall.
I know it's easier said than done, but on issues like that it's best to disregard people who have a problem with the way you are. Being open and honest about yourself whenever it matters (i.e. potentially entering a platonic relationship in your case) but not bothering with those who refuse to understand you or at least tolerate what they can't understand. Being asexual is neither something you chose nor something you can change, and if people judge you for it, well... fuck 'em. Not literally, obviously. :)
I'm 42 years old,been married once (and divorced),and have never had kids. My sister is a year older than me,and she's never had kids either. It's never been an issue w/ our parents;matter of fact,they've told us in the past that they're glad neither of us ever had kids. For me it's a number of personal reasons: I never wanted to have kids w/ ANY of my partners,because I didn't think they would make good mothers. Another reason is what you said in your video,I think I would make a terrible parent. Honestly,I applaud anyone's decision not to have kids,for whatever reason they might have,I don't think that is selfish in the least.
Before I watch video. How would being childfree even be selfish? We live in an over populated world as it is. Wouldn't wanting and having kids (reproducing, not adopting) be more selfish?
Interesting how adopting a puppy or kitten is a lot of work and its exhausting...but not a baby? And also, I hate constantly being told I'll change my mind or that everyone else is doing it. I have been called selfish for it too. I'm sick of it. I can't stand kids, I already work with kids and I hate it. Y am I gonna torture myself with coming back home to one? Finally, disliking kids isn't a crime. Its equivalent to not liking fruits, vegetables or a specific activity. Same thing. Its a choice, I know I'd make a shitty mom. However, I didn't choose to dislike kids. It just is...like the way I love chocolate, nobody questions that. How can I change my mind about something I already know I don't like? Illogical. I'm afraid of heights....I didn't choose that and I'm not changing my mind about that either.
Here's the shitty thing about countries that are having massive birth rate increases: They are usually 3rd world countries where people are getting killed by diseases, unsafe work conditions and crime in general on a regular basis, so it kinda compensates, but not as much in some areas.
Whenever people talk about this, my only thought is that, so long as the person in question is SURE, then there is no problem. Yes there are those who thinks that you can't live without ever having a kid, but I don't necessarily think so. I think there's a lot to gain for those who want to have a kid, but it's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't want to. It's an enormous responsibility, and not everyone wants that. And I realise that last bit can come off as condescending, as if I think people who choose not to have kids aren't responsible, please don't think that. It was not meant as such.
24 yo biologist and environmental science grad student here. Got my vasectomy this month and have wanted to do so for more than 10 years. I honestly think that the selfish thing is to have kids, thus putting more pressure on the environment AND condemning a person to suffer the dreadful consequences of climate change (not to mention the worldwide rise of totalitarism)
There's enough people already..its selfish to bring more people into the world..it's not an obligation to become a parent, so how can it be selfish not to be a parent?
Yes, western countries have a negative fertility rate as where countries in say the 3rd world (mostly the middle east) have a higher birth rate then what's needed for replacement levels...and? Fact is in western society these days even finding some to have a healthy relationship with is like finding a needle in a hay stack (actually even that would be easier as all you would need is a strong magnet). Then trusting that relationship is strong enough to withstand what it takes to properly raise a child? If the divorce rates, rampet false accusations ect are anything to go by...yeah. Then there is the fact that family child services offices are staffed by fucking psychopaths that are just itching to rip families apart. Well you can understand why a man or even a healthy couple would take a step back and say "Yeah I don't think that's a good idea". The choice as far as I can see to the people that make it, would be one of practicality. Not being selfish.
you're right, and it always baffles me when people ask me why I don't have any yet, nevermind knowing if im even in a relationship or married, or whats going on financially or what sort of person I amm it's even more interesting how people think it's even a choice, sometimes it's not, n it just simply does not happen within the timeframe you have lining up a suitable partner, financial stability, being able to have time to raise the child n not just work n leave it with someone, it seems it would be a miracle if you got 3 or 4 or those things to coincide at the same time, or maybe it's just me.
Need to be able to like this morrrreeeeeee!!!!! Hit the nail on the head with the passing on heredity diseases etc.. Contributing factor to why I don't want kids. What type of vile human being would I be to know what I have can/will be passed on willingly onto my kids! Sometimes I think people who have kids do it for selfish reasons. Swings and roundabouts :) Loving this channel.
I don't understand why someone thinks you're selfish because you don't want the same thing as them. Makes no sense.
Having children is selfish. Ask any parent why they had children, and it will always include "I wanted."
Ummm bc people are stupid , pretty much.
Wild Hurricane YES exactly!!!
I don't want to become a doctor....Oh, but someone else does....I guess that makes me selfish :(
Misery loves company, they just hate on people like us because we have the freedom to do whatever we want, when we want and how we want. They just want to drag us down with them.
Hard to be selfish towards something that doesn't exist.
Except when you decide to force it to exist ;)
@@darththork99 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾
@@darththork99 absolutely
Definition of Selfish: "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure". Bringing children into this world is actually a selfish act. People have children because they want to. Children didn't ask to be born. Pay attention to the keywords "You Want". "You wanted" to leave a legacy, "you wanted" a family, "you wanted" someone to take care of you when you get older, "you wanted" experience the love and bonding with your own children...etc. It's all about YOU! It's what "you wanted". YOU wanted to have children despite all the suffering the child will endure. It's literally the epitome of selfishness. Raising children is a selfless act, but the decision to actually have children is a selfish one. That doesn't mean having children isn't a beautiful thing. It is! Let's just not pretend like it wasn't all about you.
Sometimes I wish there would be some kind of drivers license to reproduce...
Being a libertarian, I know that would lead to some sort of 1920s America-style eugenics. But it probably would benefit the children to never be, especially with some of the parents out there being so shit.
In theory I can understand the desire to require some basic competence to have kids, however, that's not a power I'm comfortable with our highly flawed government having.
Ay m8, u got a license for that child?
I know but unfortunately something like that would never be ran in good faith just like nothing is
Wow! That wasn't meant that serious! I'm not demanding anything like this, that would be terrible inhuman! Some people (some of them are actually parents), that are so stupid, childish and/or bad at parenting, that i wish they would never have (had) children. And there is a solution for extreme cases - child care.
"But think of the children!"
"Yeah I did. And I'll leave it at that."
😍😍😍😍😍
👍
"But think of the children"
"Yeah - that's why I don't have any"
😂👌
Yes! I thought about my potential child, and I will not inflict my dna nor this cruel world on him/her.
Totally agree. It is not possible to be "selfish" toward a person who does not and never will exist.
_"But my genetics!"_
_"But my kids will take care of me when I'm old!"_
_"But my family tree!"_
_"But I want..."_
Egg “but i’m not selfish” :D
Even though they claim not to be selfish but make everything about them and their wants/needs.
I can’t stand humans sometimes.
Honestly,i have some existential angst about non continuing my genes,but for that there are sperm banks.
Go ahead and be offended umm humans are not suppose to worry about other people’s needs and wants but if we did we would DIE so sometimes you have to stand them
@@joemama4lifersss348 Uh, yeah we are supposed to be concerned with other people's needs and wants, we're social animals, not solitary animals. Infact, the only thing keeping us alive is caring about others.
Them: It's selfish to not wanting kids!
Me: Why did you have kids?
Them: Because I WANTED some.
Wanting something isn't selfish. I want to get the hell out of here, so does that make me selfish?
I don't plan on having kids. Don't care if that makes me selfish.
Actually you are less selfish for not wanting.
You shouldn't have animals than
What do you mean? There are people who don't have kids but do like animals. Animals are easier to take care of than kids so it's not surprising that there are people who don't have kids but do have pets.
Dont worry you are not selfish
@@NoKidsNoProblem 👏
I think this whole discussion is kinda insane. The decision of having a child should only be a personal one, nothing anyone should be guilt-ed into with "but think of the society" bullshit.
Exactly.
I agree, and that's in both directions.
That kind of thinking is why Canada will become a third world country. None of those low IQ immigrants think that way about having children.
@@terocool7625 Skall brought up the the issue of "infinite economic growth", which is _in part_, the reason why countries like sweden are mass importing foreigners. I'm also pretty sure he's against the idea of mass-unfettered immigration for the issues it causes and brings. Though that is presumptuous of me and only he can speak for himself.
A part from the rat race, its a bit ironic you bring up zionism, considering this video is a reply to an orthodox Jew, Ben Shapiro, whoms renowned among people like you for being controlled opposition.
Regardless, Skall didn't imply what you're suggesting, quite the opposite on the issue of Africa, NOR did he suggest that everyone (whites in particular) stop having children.
Doing things for the good of society isn’t bullshit. It’s just that having children is a huge burden most people are not fully ready to handle.
When I was 17, I knew a few people in their 40's that didn't have kid's. They had a great life. I knew then it was a no brainer. Never changed my mind to be childfree. That was 41 years ago. A lot of 50 something's are giving their 30 something kid's money and/or raising their grandkid's.
What I find baffling is after accusing me of being selfish hey make comments like "I find it really rewarding", "it gives me meaning and purpose" and so on.
Every comment is about them and how they feel, yet I'm the one who's selfish....
@Fury255 you are projecting moron
@Only 2 genders Probably never accomplished anything by themselves in life so they have kids to make themselves feel better.
Fury255 wait, you called him delusional? To claim that life is a gift is high level delusion. Life is not a gift, it’s a burden and one that you can choose not to place after you set aside your selfish wants and desires and think about what you are doing. You’re gambling an unnecessary life in hopes that it brings YOU joy, never mind the new life you just placed into this soul crushing pile of shit.
People hate on the childfree and call them selfish because they're projecting their own insecurities. If the childfree are happy, that means everything we're taught about how children are a necessary part of life is wrong. We are in a transition phase where society is slowly realizing it's acceptable to opt out of being a parent. People like us are making the choice for ourselves before it's fully socially acceptable, which REALLY angers some people. They're angry that we do what makes us happy vs following the crowd like they do.
Exactly... They are low key bitter they have to be haggered raising handful unruly kids while childfree folk can do anything they want especially sleeping lol
Unfortunately, too many people out there don't use their brain and just tap into this "children are a part of life" bullcrap instead of realizing they actually have a choice.
@@shybairnsgetnowt 👏
Having kids seems like a huge pain in the ass with all responsibility and costs. I don't get the hype honestly.
You could also say "woman was raped, might as well force them to wait 9 months and have it." you really advocating that?
I've always been for abortion, I don't intend to convince you, but I can at least give my opinion : In the case of an unwanted pregnancy (contraception failing mostly), you can't blame the parents, it's totally out of their control. Then, when the embryo is not even a few days old, I don't see the problem with abortion, it is just a bunch of cells which are not conscious at all. The question is, where do we put the frontier (between baby and embryo) ? I don't have an answer, but I know one thing, I don't think killing an embryo is worse than letting it live to be an orphan...
Legend Of Memes Thats the problem dude, you have people that want to take away that right in a slippery slope law.
Abortion should not be an option because you didn't take precautions and were not careful because you were to horny to do so. that being said their are a lot of parents that raise shitty kids into a cycle. Responsibility should be placed on both parents, not just the father. Women run out on men all the time and the fathers get little to no help what so ever, but a woman gets the moon, and the more you have the more lobsters you get. this needs to stop.
I'm cautious about abortion becoming an encouraged solution of unwanted children.
I don't like the idea of abortion turning into a 1st resort.
It is perfectly possible that our culture could turn into one that freely dispenses with the idea of having an abortion; attitudes becoming more similar to 'getting your appendix out' or 'having an invasive cosmetic surgery'.
I imagine Carl Jung would have had something to say about how the unconscious may be affected multiple abortions, too.
At the end of the day I want mothers to have abortion as an option, as a last resort.
The decision of abortion, in my personal opinion, should remain wrought with doubt, anxiety and hesitation.
Wife and I are in our 50's, best decision not to have kids for us. I also knew at a young age that I didn't want kids. Plus, really, who in their right mind would bring a child into a failing society and environment!!
Because people in their right minds want people in future generations to change it? To improve it? And if you impart good values to your children they are likely to live out those values? It's a vote on the future of the world but you just abstained.
@@Sam-eu9go found the white supremacist
ffh d ft. h so much irony
@@ryangoepfert9112 not an argument
@@Michael-lc8yl not an argument
My wife and I will not have kids. Some people have 9 or more kids. They are more than making up for our 'contribution'..
Frankly I see people who choose not to have children as the responsible ones... our planet is dangerously overpopulated already - the human race is still exploding too rapidly, especially when one considers there is only enough readily-accessible fresh water for about 12 billion people.. which we will easily hit within 100 years.. after 12 billion fresh water becomes very scarce and poor nations will have massive die-offs. I'm 40 now and decided around age 30 I never want to have children - both because I feel no desire to be a parent and because I have to ask "Why?" .. The world around me is so fucking crowded already the last thing I want to do (or have others do) is contribute to the goddamn problem.
chris watts is an example of someone who shouldnt have had kids.. the guy murdered his entire family.. awful..
Being selfish, to the best of my understanding, is to put your own needs over those of other people. I do not have children, so they have no needs because they don't exist, ergo, i cannot by definition be selfish, at least not in that specific regard.
The only reason why people are encouraged by society to have children is because not so long ago child mortality rates were through the roof, life expectancy was through the floor and we were at war more than when we were at peace. Now, thankfully, this isn't the reality so there ought to be no derision aimed at those not wanting kids. In this day and age having kids is a pleasure that can be chosen to be indulged in should one desire, not a compulsory necessity.
First off, whoever thinks it's essential to HAVE children is a fool. If you can barely sustain yourself, then you don't have the right to bring up a child, much less engage someone in a relationship with that kind of situation.
Why even bother having kids if you're gonna die, anyway? Why the fuck wouls someone even care after that? Might as well just enjoy life while it lasts.
Because if your ancestors "were gonna die anyway" you wouldn't be here?
Not the direction I was thinking of, but....
@@Beardshire So? Did I ever say I wanted to be here?
You want to exist without existing? That's not how it works.
"Not having kids is selfish"
Narcissistic Parents: I'm about to end this man's who career.
It's 2018 and there is still prejudice against M-F couples living their lives without children. It seems that gay couples can do that lifestyle just fine, but straight couples ? NO WAY !! Lots of people will RESENT it. People with children want you to suffer and risk divorce, like every other couple that has children. It is one of the last great social prejudices remaining today. It is just insane.
You are absolutely right about that. My husband and I are childfree by chance, not by choice. I resent people coming right out and asking me if I have children. Then when I say no, I get very surprised looks, etc. And I will also tell you that because of the type of career that I have, I am privy to a lot of private things people will tell me and many parents are miserable. They tell me because I am a safe person to tell. But here's what else I have also been privy to and that is that most parents enjoy their children once their children are grown and particularly once their children marry and have children of their own. They love being grandparents, as long as they are not in the role of raising them because that changes the dynamics considerably. It's like parenting all over again. But true grandparents get to love and spoil their grandkids without worrying about how they'll turn out, etc. because it's ok for grandparents to spoil kids; but parents cannot because they will raise brats. I also don't know anyone who has gone to their deathbed saying they were glad they were childfree or that they wish they'd never had children. Nope. Never heard that but not saying it doesn't exist. I just haven't heard it. It's just that when you're in the midst of raising children, it's *HARD* but it gets rewarding after they're grown and moved out, are successful, and self-supporting...provided they're not on drugs or in prison.
How many people have you been with whilst on their death bed? Why would someone who has got to the end of their life even worry about regretting not having kids? Maybe the people who could not have children due to being infertile but it is very unlikely a person who chose to be childfree is going to spend their last moments on earth regretting not having kids. They would be cherishing the good times, not worrying about non existent children.
As there should be prejeduce against them
Here’s why I think being childfree is not selfish: The hypothetical child does not exist.
You're telling me that if I showed up to your house with a fresh steak of human flesh you wouldn't accept it? Well there goes my ice breaker.
Time to rise up cannibals!
You´ll probably get the cold shoulder.
What an ungrateful fucker xD
PM me if that steak is still hot
@@dawidwidera1819 me too xD
I will never have children. I so love being childfree. I could give a shit if people think it's selfish or not. Good video by the way!
The hell kinds of drugs would you need to be taking to think being child free is selfish?! The level of idiocy and bottomfeeding IQ needed for the mental arithmetic it would take, is astonishing. But then again, this is why I would rather not leave my home: most people are unfathomably unintelligent.
You don't need drugs just cultural Marxism.
I like to take a more cynical viewpoint, that the rich who want to stay in power pay people to spew out stupid shit as propaganda to people so they are occupied with wondering how stupid people can be instead of seeing the real problem, which is of course the rich having enough power to do that in the first place.
The drugs where you haven't decided that western civilization is evil and you want to give up by being childless and working to support foreigners replacing you.
It’s a part of the immigration debate. ‘We need mass immigration to compensate for low birth rates’ + ‘whoops turns out those immigrants aren’t assimilating’ = ‘You’re selfish for not having children because it means the native population will become a minority.’
Except there can be selfish reasons and motives for having kids OR being child free. Its not a simple dichotomy inside of a inconsequential vacuum. We live in this thing called reality where things get chaotic and complicated.
+darkblood626 that ties into the notion of continuous (infinite) economic growth and expansion. At least to Wigs with power and wealth, they desire cheap excess labor willing to undercut one another, and to play upon their prejudices and fears.
My parents told me I was selfish for not wanting kids, because they wanted grandkids (never mind that I have lots of siblings who have made me an uncle many times over). They wanted me to radically change my own life by doing something I knew I didn't want to do, so they could have something they wanted ... and yet, I was the selfish one.
If you want grandkids, adopt them and raise them yourself. Oh, you don't want the responsibility of raising kids again? You want someone else to do that, so you can just visit when it's convenient for you? And yet I'm the selfish one.
I love being childfree with a passion. I'm better off being an uncle.
I bet you don't have any animals
@@heartsxday ok did i just say it was my little brother look my spelling right now you will see big differences
@Kjones520 Same here! I have NO DOUBT I am! I only need to see nephews and nieces for a few hours a day to KNOW I'm good!
It's selfish not to eat human flesh.
Talk about overpopulation.
No it is selfish to eat human flesh. What could be more selfish than filling yourself with some more "self"?
nobody said "autocannibalism" ;)
You can solve both protein issues and overpopulation! ~IRONY ALERT PLEASE~
Some jobs include that you suck on it
I don't want kids because I have no faith that I would make a good parent. At all.
The Horned King tbh my internet friend there are tons of books out there how to be a parent and also u can ask for advice on people and have no fear u will never raise a child alone u have ur wife family members etc no fear there cheers btw just a thought i wanted to share
Yama Yami 1st of all u were the rude one and the sad thing is yoyr friend chose poorly for a wife the thing is u as a male when want a gf u dont need to searcg in the mentality of simply get a gf but a future mom that will bear ur child and help u usher him in the future and i never state or forced him to concieve a child i simply ecourged him dont be afraid there are people to help you in the long run and countless books about diff stuff etc also sorry to hear for ur friend he chose poorly and now that will haunt him such stuff must never be rushed ans be done in time and plz refrain from being an ass to me cheers m8
Yama Yami also u never rush a child untill u get a good healthy realtion ship with ur wife close family and alsl ar
e ready mentaly and financaly its ez to stick it in and do the deed there ar
e others things that needs to be put in account my sister took vitamines ans other stuff for 2 years to ensure a healthy baby now she is onher 7th month of labor and the baby is healthy af and growing big thank god for that
this stuff cant be rushed and both partners must
be ready mentaly for it again cheers no hate
just stating and having an opinion exange friend also hope ur friend gets better
Well, no one ever really feels 100% prepared for a child. A lot of people after a birth or adoption feel like WTF HAVE I JUST DONE?! It's normal to be a little scared or uncertain. Doesn't make you a bad parent. There is tonnes of advice and classes out there. However, it is your decision 100% and at no point should you feel pressured into it. I've made the decision not to have children because I have a genetic condition that could put any children of mine in a wheelchair. I decided I didn't want to take the risk.
Stettafire tbh bro to me a bad parent is someone who rushes this sort fo stuff and doesnt want to learn and adapt ask other peoppe its ok and normal to be scared its what makes us human tho by no mean its what it should make u stop having kids thx for typing ur opiniom i repsect it and agree fully and sorry to hear about ur conditiom god bless u mate and cheers
I'm 30 and I'm constantly harrassed by traditionalists for not having kids.
@? dont use that word.. it has racial undertones
Jacinda Peters you have my support. You have every right to decide if you want kids or not and it doesn't make you Selfish to not want any. If you don't want kids you don't have to have none if you don't want to.
Ok, so my fiance and I dont want kids. We dont want the responsibility. We want to afford nicer things, travel the world, and retire early. We want to put ourselves first. Is that selfish? Kind of sounds like it. Do we care? Absolutely not.
This issue again, commented last time and I'll comment again. You guys do you Skall, having a child takes up alot of your time and finances. I love my daugther above all, but its not for everyone. Personal struggles with anxiety and whatnot can hamper both yours and the childs well being. I know quite a few who have decided against getting children due to various personal issues, even though they would make great parents. Demanding that others should get children is selfish, not deciding not to have them. Keep up your awesome work
Thanks for saying it :D, having a baby is a very personal choice and there is no wrong answer
Aldo Polo There is one. Deciding to have a baby without understanding/caring about the level of investment (both temporal, emotional and financial) raising the resultant child requires. Caused a few arguments between my wife and I, and I was just holding off till we were more established. Choosing not to have a kid selfish, maybe. It depends on the actual reasons they have for it, and even if the reasons are selfish there is a fair chance the resultant child from such a forced coupling (if they don't want to do it and are required or coerced into it then it is forced) would have been better off not born. Skall isn't selfish in this.
@@corwinhyatt519 well you are right I was talking about a racional and calm decision, a one without being forced as couple to have a child, and certaintly the situation you describe is the reason why my country is full of children that are either kids without love or spoiled brats; good observation on your part bro
And also, yes Skall is not selfish at all :D cheers
The thing is everything we do is selfish, and not having kids is selfish in the same way as not eating something because you're on a diet, but have kids is more like want clones of yourself, but less selfish, its just a choice
👍
This is a surprisingly one sided comment section. I was expecting more turmoil.
Why? Skal's channel isn't the type to attract radical nutjobs.
Vorpal Kickass exactly. I think contrary to Skall, but I just respect him!
@@vorpalkickass8825 oh, so anyone that diverges in the way of thinking is a radical nut job? I love how liberals contradict themselves.
"Don't underestimate my power" - A single child
I think people who have such dedication to their stance won't watch videos of an argument against them.
+Ryan Dean I am glad to learn that many people are antinatalist childfree, as everyone SHOULD be.
overpopulation is an issue. theres children in need of adoption. nothing wrong with not having a kid, but there is something wrong with having a kid and not bring able to provide.
What? You can't force ppl to have children. That's it, end of argument. Nothing selfish about.
For much of recorded history, billions of people have been forced by empires and religions and social pressure to have children, to the point of poverty, hunger, having no legal rights of their own on the matter, and repeated risk of death. Those sexually enslaved people are called "women." Worldwide statistics have shown that when women have the right to choose their own life and control their own resources and destiny, they only have 0 to 2 kids each and the population level heads back into balance with the environment.
@@animistchannel2983 You're right, but that wasn't (or, more realistically, isn't) done with any justification like that 'child free is selfish' bs, it's done because people are sexist arseholes. In today's somewhat more enlightened days (in some parts of the world, at least) forcing someone to have kids with social pressure is absurd. And what kind of moron in a modern society cares about whether or not someone else has kids anyway? It's quite literally none of their fucking business.
Yah, it's good to see the spread of human rights and enlightenment. I was just inclined to mention it because of how far there still is to go in so many places. I go back and forth between hope and impatience, trying not to let myself get complacent with the margin of progress so far. I've got some of that "eternal guardian" thing going on, with the next Dark Ages potentially just one fundamentalist religious movement away.
True but you can offer incentives to have children.
+Druu Dru Agreed. Thankfully nobody has any legal authority to force anyone to have children in 2018. But, as animist channel points out, that has not always been that way at all places & times in history.
When they say they want the birth rate to go up, they mean they want people like them to breed more for the cause. They definitely don't want people who are the wrong colour, religion, or ideology making more kids.
If your DNA is the only way to contribute to society, you need to rethink a few things about your life.
Well said.
Being a pretty generic, white, handsome guy. I think I can agree with this.. I've worked around an elderly home and hear it alot.. "Oh. do you've children?" and i take it as a joke.. I'm only 25, for god's sake..
But when I hear about my coworkers, (a guy from Africa, another from Pakistan, a couple girls, both from Egypt) and I *never* hear good stories about when they talk about their own children.
mind you, i know it's an eldery home, with frustrated and depressed old folks. but still
Chrly Ray And find a way to add your own joy and meaningful value to your own life and to the community at large.
And many of those old folks HAVE kids but well, I don't see those kids taking care of them or visiting.
Julian Rossi I found the self-righteousness of this comment to be pretty funny tbh. Your basically bragging about turning yourself into an evolutionary dead end. Thanks for voluntarily striking your DNA from the gene pool so that fewer future people are genetically predisposed to have similar traits to you, I guess.
Also, great strawman of people who care about the continuation of their Genetics, Family, Ethnicity, etc as "only contributing to society via DNA" as if having/wanting kids automatically stops you from being an individual that's capable of doing anything else. I'm sure that's a totally honest argument and not just a gross misrepresentation of people you disagree with that you use to make yourself feel better.
I was not being selfish when I decided I'll go child-free. Why? Because I know I wouldn't be a good father. I don't want to permanently traumatize a kid because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and because I don't have the patience to deal with a tiny human. I don't want to turn into my father. Because my father, is not good at being one.
Having children is a luxury, not a necessity.
THANK YOU 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾
Preach 😊
Luxury? I prefer the word choice. It isn't a luxury item. It is an investment.
@@presidentlouis-napoleonbon8889 I can also agree with that, but it is not a safe and smart investment lol
-what luuuuxuuury.. -Patrick star
39 now won't change my mind as well 😊 happy to be child free and I really wish people around me understand it. Unfortunately a lot of people questions about my choice and hate to keep explaining or having to explain.
Don't explain. You don't owe people an explanation.
It's a myth that "once you have children you become less selfish." Having children only amplifies what you already are. If you're a selfish person before having children, you will become even more so (hence the folks who take up an entire aisle in a store or sidewalk with their strollers, oblivious that there are other people around). You might take care of your children's needs but there are many people who do this because they see it as an "investment" of sorts (e.g. "my children will be there for me when I get old", etc.). VERY few people have children because they want to give back to the world; to raise good children who grow into good adults and bring good into the world. In fact, I've never heard one person say that as a reason they had children. My brother is a perfect example of someone who became more self-absorbed once he had a child. He started calling the family less and less, even as our father is very elderly (one could argue that he is setting an example to his now teenage child that 'this is what you do when you become a father; you neglect your family of origin'.). Prior to having a child, he was much more attentive and thoughtful. He is not any longer. In my humble opinion, having a child has not made him a better person. He has become very thoughtless and selfish but methinks he had a tendency to be that way prior to having a child but it just became more pronounced when he became a father. Anyway, I won't try to change anyone's mind about having children. I think children are wonderful. But I don't think choosing parenthood or choosing not to be a parent is going to automatically make someone a better person.
The most selfish act is to have kids you knew you didn't want
8:33 Now that is actually being selfish and immoral. Create a life without any responsibility. It is far responsible to not have children at the first place.
This guy is 36? Wow. Being childfree really casing him to age like fine wine! No stress and looking young 😀
I made the choice to not have a child, or even get married, at a young age and I'm happy with my decision. I'd be a bad father and a husband and I know that. I hate young children and can't tolerate them.
Childfree by choice here. 👍I actually think SOME kids are okay, but I also like giving them back at the end of the day or when they get too fussy. 😛
It's only selfish to a bring a child into this world, that's unwanted, unloved and forgotten.
i compleatly agree with most of what you say here,
there is definately no shortage of childeren who need homes (orphans/foster/adoption)
there is NO obligation to have childeren, (or any risk of human extinction)
and when you have genetic ilness, or the doctor says theres a high likely hood you offspring will be invallid, DONT,
just cause your child can grin and make "happy" sounding gasping noises dosent mean they are happy or experiance a quality of life
rant;
it seems to me that theres alot of "absent parenting" going on these days,
you cant have kids, make your family help take care of them,
then proceed with a "i just came home from work, go play" attitude
kids need alot of sturcture early on, so they learn and understand very basic things, like "no" dosent mean "ask someone else"
or that people need "space" and "time away from others"
and other such things they only pick up on when they have a high degree of "fruitfull" interaction
do you remember you teacher sitting next to you 1v1 and helping you learn to read, and sound out the words, and understand whats hapening in the story?
no?!, thats cause they didnt (if they did then thier super special) your parents did, cause thats what a parents job is, to teach thier kids the basic functionality for life
ive seen 3yr olds who are nearly self-suficient,
and 8yr olds who need reminders (and help) to wipe thier butt,
"having kids" dont make you a "parent", (a parent properly raises childern not just produces them)
"visiting" dosent mean they get to take care of your kids for the time, (you come over to "say hi" and maybe play, not to have others play parent to your childern)
end rant
im mostly the oposite, i like kids, i like the idea of kids, even as young as 5 i knew i wanted to have at least 1 child, and had a "sense" that i would be a great parent,
however, as life turns out, school locked me in a literal closet for 13 years, i had very little social interaction, and now im a recluse with a fear of leaving the house,
needless to say im not going to be finding myself with spouse or in any economic shape to have any child, genetic or not, anytime in the forseeable future
that and my personal beliefs, im repulsed by the concept of capitolism, the work i do get, i do for "free" (seems people dont believe in reciprocity though)
no income + no time = no "life"
There are people that think having a child makes you less selfish? Cos that makes sense
They use one or both of two arguments (evolution and creationism) to browbeat people into having kids:
"Don't you know? God said "go forth a multiply" and you MUST OBEY or you are helping out Satan!!!"
According to lots of modern Americans, Christian morals apparently demand that you have kids, despite the long history of the church encouraging celibacy. (Obviously, even if you aren't Christian, they still demand you multiply).
Or the other argument;
"White people will be displaced by brown people who have more kids, and that's BAD because natural selection says whoever has more kids wins. We can't let the brown people win!!! They're brown, and stuff..."
The same people who demand you obey their literalist interpretation of Genesis turn around and use Social Darwinism to try and convince you that white people will go extinct if you don't have kids. I think they should go read Malthus, and really consider the ramifications of adding yet more people to the human population.
The Christian religion is antinatalist in nature. If people only read past Genesis they'd understand this.
Black Spruce Early Christianity was antinatalist; Judaism is the polar opposite. What better evidence is there than the fact that the Jews still exist as a people?
It actually does if you aren't brainwashed to commit cultural suicide.
It doesn't. I left a message about that. It only amplifies what you already are. If you're selfish prior to having kids, having kids will make you even more selfish. For example, you might take care of the child's needs but it will likely be for very selfish reasons (e.g. wanting to have them there to care for *you* in old age).
It's a death sentence for a new conscious entity.
It's an unknown and unpredictable amount of unnecessary suffering for said entity.
Having a child is probably one of the most evil things you can do.
Its actually most evil thing you can do
Exactly.
This is pure madness.
To reproduce is one of the basic animal instincts and some smarter people can try to think about it rationally and decide accordingly to their skills and abilities.
It is likely not even an instinct. Otherwise childfree people wouldn't exist.
Teleke von Tölökö Not instinct, people just get horny everyday so want to have sex. Contraception is available these days but it's not 100%
I remember learning about this in one of my classes but essentially there's the idea of children as an investment that doesn't seem to be as big of a consideration in developed countries compared to in developing countries. One of the reasons people had so many children in the past was because they wanted to make sure that at least one of them survived long enough to be able to take care of them when they were old and frail.
This is a major factor both in the past and in less wealthy countries today. The fact is, in some countries, if you don't have kids to take care of you when you're old then no one will.
Sounds selfish.
But who will inherit all your swords, maces, axes, shields etc? Also all the cool shirts?
Just say it, "can I have your stuff after you die"?
I can
Mugubu the Somali migrant can inherit them. Just like he'll inherit Canada.
Don't you get it? WE, the subscribers are Skall's children!
Pff you fools. Skall will have them burried with him in his great tomb because he will need them in Valhalla.
Buzzfeed is adamantly pronatal. They covered Ned's son's birth. Their videos about "childfree" topics are mostly silly and cutesy videos that do not explore childfree stances as seriously as they covered Ned's family goals and relationships of the Try Guys.
I intend to be single and not have any kids my entire life. Most of my future plans and ambitions have no chance of success if my time is tied up by someone else. If someone asks me "What if you can't take care of yourself when you're old?" I'll say "There's a perfectly good overpass right down the road" LOL.
"If you like children good for you" This one right there Mr. FBI
In my opinion people who say youre selfish for not wanting kids are the real selfish ones. Some people just don’t have it in them to want to be parents and that’s fine. I’d rather have kids being raised by someone who actually wanted them in the first place than someone who felt pressured by society to reluctantly reproduce. Me personally, I do want to be a parent one day, but it’s not for me to dictate who has kids and doesn’t.
Having
_incoherent screaming_
children
_projectile vomitting in the distance_
is
_snot-nosed sobbing_
a
_crashing glass noises_
joy
_rancid diaper shart smells_
you
_crying in a restaurant_
just
_screaming for toys in a store_
need
_kid dials 911 for fun_
to
_food being thrown on the walls in protest_
take
_sharpie noises on the TV screen_
responsibility
Fury255 It’s selfish because they pop out kids for their own selfish reasons, like ”I want a mini version of my partner/myself”, ”I want to pass on my knowledge/life experience/world view”, ”I want to live my life through them because I failed at reaching my own dreams”, ”I want to feel important, like I do something great in my life, by creating a human that will be dependent on me”, ”I dont want to miss out on this experience of parenthood that everyone else is experiencing” Basically none of the reasons to have kids have anything to do with the kid itself, its all about the parents. The unborn child is not knocking through heavens door like ”let me out, give birth to me”, no that child does not exist yet therefore have no will to live nor not live, the will for the child to exist is the will of the parents. Therefore it is allways selfish. BUT, it is okay to be selfish too, just dont walk around telling yourself you are a hero for raising children you chose to create.
@Fury255 it's a decision one has to take for oneself, if you feel the urge to produce children, feel free to, just don't think that's the right thing for everyone to do. where did you draw that assumption from? and define "contributing to society", if you'd be so kind
my point is, stop harrassing people on the internet with your world view and YOUR problems with theirs. if this topic enrages you that much how about you don't click on a video with such a title? unless, of course you are one of the people that just need to argue with others and intentionally seek out their presence just to piss them off, because that's what this seems like to me.
Fury255 do you really believe the only way to contribute to society is to have kids? That you’re either child rearing or a couch potato? 😂.
@@sandymartynov973 I want some things, everyone wants something. So does that mean that i'm selfish for wanting to go outside today? Am i selfish for wanting to eat something today? Am i selfish for wanting to pet my animals?
Imagine shaming someone bc they don’t want throw up all over the place and waking up at 3am and change stinky diapers .if your not gonna help us raise them shut your mouth
In this day and age bringing a poor new soul who didn't ask for it in this world is actually the selfish thing.
I'm curious in what is so bad nowadays that having children is horrible, specially compared to decades if not centuries ago
@Martim Xavier It was also horrible having children in the past, but people didn't have the access to birth control that they do now. Also, in ages gone by, women really had no choice if they wanted to survive. Now times have changed. I am so thankful and grateful to have been born in an Era and a country where I have a choice. I chose not to have kids, which has made my life so much easier and better. I learned from my mother how stressful and hard life is with children. My older sister and I are both childfree.
I'm getting married in two months, so this topic has come up a lot lately. People don't seem to understand that we don't want kids. My fiancé's mom abandoned him as a baby, why on Earth would he of all people bring an unwanted child into this world? He knows what it's like to have a parent regret his existence. So no, judgmental family members, we will not procreate to appease your desires to have grandchildren. It's their expectations of us that are truly selfish.
Because you are INTELLIGENT & ETHICAL & MORAL & COURAGEOUS! That is why you are childfree & encourage others to be childfree & promote antinatalism!
In biology class we talked about two islands where scientists put equal numbers of reindeer. The islands look pretty much the same except for one island having high cliffs at the coast, while the other one was completely flat. The only food source for the reindeer were slow-growing lichen. On the island with the cliffs the population was low but stable, as in winter it was regulated by reindeer falling down the cliffs in snowstorms. On the flat island the population skyrocketed only for the reindeer to suddenly go extinct on the island. The extremely high numbers of reindeer had eaten all the food on the island faster than it could grow.
I fear that the flat island is what is going to happen if we keep reproducing in such absurdly high numbers, we will simply run out of resources and that was it. You might say "but we're not going to go instinct without oil!", but think about what will happen if we run out of recourses like oil or, most importantly, clean water. That would lead to a war that would be a bloodbath like nothing before. The whole world would fall into chaos. Is this what we want? No. So stop fricken denying overpopulation, random people who are the reason for videos like this! (I am in no way saying that people who want to have children are bad people, we of course still need some people to reproduce, what I'm saying is don't think that you need to all people to reproduce for the survival of our species, so stop calling people like Skall selfish)
That turned out to be way longer than I expected, I'm sorry for my pessimism and my habit of writing endlessly long RUclips comments.
The Great Reset will happen.
ppl who are unsure of their choice should watch Toddlers and Tiaras. That'll answer your choice real quick.
I always thought having a kid was selfish because parents make them to live through them, cause their own childhoods were so shit. How is it not selfish to want a thing that might not want you as a parent?
To understand the phenomenon further, let's look at the reasons why people have children. These are the answers received from all the parents I know personally.
* some feel lonely
* some think they are smart and need to pass on those qualities
* some think about the time they will get old and helpless
* some like to take care of others and shape their personalities
* some want to blend in so the society doesn't judge them harshly
* some have to do lists and they only need to check kids, not necessarily with love or real interest
* some prefer to invest in their kids' life because they see themselves as lost causes, e.g they don't have a PhD but always wanted recognition so they will receive it through their children
* some consider themselves beautiful and they want to have a beautiful child because their partner is handsome
* some want kids earlier in life because they want a person to trust
* some want kids because they want to teach others how to live
* some want to prove to society how generous they are and they consider themselves superior for raising children, in the end they are doing it to prove something to others, rarely to themselves, so it's a recognition issue
*some people want to be the parents they never had (superior attitude again, I'm better than my parents and I will show them how to do it)
* some people are born with the skills and they really love kids, these are the ideal parents
Kids aren't for everyone and not everyone should have kids.
You said it brother. I went from no to hell no. I'm 37 and I am very well set in my ways. I'll adopt a damn dog before I have a child
Yes because you're pathetic.
yeah same. i am 24 and for as long as i remember i have never wanted children and i can barely stand my sisters little kids when they are here.
also i don't want anyone else to have the slight chance of getting my problems.
do whatever you wish homie. have fun in your life your way.
There are more ways to contribute to society then breeding. There's art science and yes making exceptional RUclips videos. Personally I think YOU have found one of your ways to contribute. Keep up the great work and to hell with what others think.
The quality of the person matters as well. If people have children because they want to contribute to society but raise the children poorly and the children turn out terrible or at the very least useless than that is not a contribution to society. Actually it would be better if those people were never born and those immature people to never have become parents.
"Oh yeah, i want it"... that's what my ex-wife said. Now I'm a single dad. Funny thing; I didn't want to breed for a long time and was sure I would suck as a parent, and as she got pregnant it was like "Now I'm responsible for that little human being, and I will take this task as i take every task - with 100% effort. Failure is not an option." Had some really bad time since then (not because of my kid), and after all I think it went well. I'm sure not the perfect dad, and will never be, but that's okay as long as I keep trying ;)
To you Skall, I think you might be too hard with yourself. You never really know how good you are at something without trying. But anyway, if you don't want to try it's fine. Your life, your decisions. Selfish are those who demand stuff from others... like to have children, for example.
Sadly however, you can NOT just TRY having children.
(Unless you babysit for more than a month but who gets that blessed opportunity)
You can't just have a trial period of 3 months with a human life and then throw it out because you decide it's not for you.
I understand what you are trying to say, and I agree for the most part. Just that technicality itched me the wrong way.
It is also a fear I inherently have. What if I do want it, and then when it comes, it turns out I hate every living breathing moment of it or just suck at it?
I'd rather be 100% sure than gamble with a life based on a moment's infatuation or whim.
Absolutely true about the no trial part. Basically it's a matter of personality - are you willing to take the responsability for a child, or not. And I think people like Skall, who think they would suck as parents, might be the best parents in the end because they see how much responsability it means having a child.
Considering so many people my age (mid 20's) is going crazy having multiple kids and getting married, it has made me considerably care less about ever dealing with a child. Plus I suffer from severe anxiety and depression so I doubt I could ever find a woman to deal with me anyways.
My girlfriend recently told me that she is struggling to want children. I’ve been looking more into being child free and the benefits of it and I’m really encouraged by videos like these. Thank you!
I can relate to her struggle. I told my husband recently because the topic got brought up about the future and if we should have a kid or not. It was really difficult because he said he felt ready for it if I was, but I'm not and have been struggling to even want it. I just don't feel the urge or desire to be a mom and I'm terrified of pregnancy and birth and just don't feel like I'd be a good enough parent because of my mental health issues.
It made me feel bad for him because I know he'd probably be a wonderful attentive father, unlike mine who barely acknowledges his 14 kids existence. But he's also not pushing it and reassured me that he's perfectly happy with just me in his life and gave me a big hug.
He's always been on the fence about it and it hasn't been one of his goals to have a kid. Only if I wanted it so he gave the decision to me since I'd be the one who would have to carry the child for nine months and give birth. Something he doesn't want to have to put me through. I love him so much I can't even put it in words. 🥺❤️
Learning and education is the exact reason why humankind has gotten so far. Our intellegence surpasses evolution in speed and effectiveness.
An animal could eat poisonous plants for thousands of years until one manages to pass on a resistance
A single human can die to the same plant and survivors would avoid it, saving needless deaths and immidately working.
Some aimals are actually able to learn which plants are poisonous and which not. But generally, you are right. Human intelligence is way superior.
As someone who is homosexual and gets more than few comments from the ladies on my handsome looks (their words, not mine), it's always amusing whenever people ask me if I'm going to have kids, and then find out that I'm gay and have a boyfriend. Their reaction is just so perfectly angry. A few of my favorite responses:
"Well, I hope you're happy wasting your potential with another man."
"You ain't gonna do anything useful wasting yourself on him, f*g!"
"Are you at least going to adopt a kid?"
Look, people, even if I were straight, I wouldn't want kids. Firstly, I'd make a horrible father; I'm scatterbrained, disorganized and bad with making important decisions. Secondly, as someone who has the misfortune of living in the Southern US, there is practically no social safety net; even if I had kids, if I were to fall ill, get fired from whatever job I might have, or (gods forbid) die on the job, those children would be screwed. So no, I would not want to put anyone through that, especially not any hypothetical and unlikely offspring. Third, and probably most important, is that I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. I am my own person, and I'm not going to bend the knee to an arbitrary social pressure, especially when doing so would probably result in a future that is just that much worse for everyone.
As a childfree woman it’s great to hear a childfree mans pov. Which is basicly the same opinion as mine. So great to hear it back like an echo. Makes me feel good about my decision. A lot of people give me shit for it.
I agree over population is real. Eventually we are gonna be living on top of each other... Literally, instead building across the land we be building vertical so save room. Not to mention resources are gonna be so much more difficult to get.
Mind blowing fact: if 90% of the world population died out. We still be more populated then back in 16th or 17th century
You, Skall., have earned much more of my respect. Antinatalism is the way to go (though that term may not fully apply to you, Skall.); I had my vasectomy just 2 days ago.
If I ever do get a kid, witch in not likely, I'll just adopt one. I'll get a kid and I'll give someone a better life.
I second that. Also, not to be a douche, but "which" not "witch".
Only thing about adoption is that the government makes it incredibly difficult and expensive, and will analyze every aspect of your life before allowing it. Meanwhile they don't give a shit who pops out however many kids they want.
Good for you. 👍
Very noble of you.
And it triggers the racists. Very nice.
I just want a young one I can teach and help grow.
There's enough children in the world that don't have a parent.
I imagine this video was made after Skall`s mom , or another family member asked him " when will you have a baby ?"
Perhaps a better way to contribute to society would be through volunteer work, like at a homeless shelter or a daycare. Why not care for those who are already alive, than pump out more people who will, inevitably, have needs one day. That would only add to the strain.
I choice at the age of 12 years old didn't want kids, 24 years later I still feel the same way. When I'm around kids or baby I don't feel anything or have interest in them. To be honest, I have no patience for kids when misbehave, I have for people, animals. So expensive to raise and like my sleep too Have other reasons but, it's too long could be here all day. Later on play get my tubes get tied. Parenthood is not everyone it's not a must.
Rewatched this many months after I first watched it (nine months, ironically), and this totally resonates with me, even more than it did when I first watched it. When I came out to my mom as being asexual, she said I would change my mind if I found the right guy. That’s just... no. I know that I don’t want some dude to stick his parts in me, just like Skall knows he’d never get kids and just like (hopefully) everyone here knows they’d never eat human flesh. I’d also never adopt a kid or use some more ... clean method of procreation, as I also know I’d be a horrible parent and I just don’t see why this should be (according to many) my life goal. I decide what makes me happy and what my goals in life are. If I want to contribute something else to society than some genes for an inner clock that makes me be wide awake until 2 am no matter what I try to bend it to societies norms, then they should let me do that. Having a brain child, some work of art or technology I created, some masterpiece that has a lasting positive impact on society would be a way better contribution to society and would actually make me happy, unlike being forced by societies pressure to do the nasty and spend an unmeasurable amount of time and emotional resources on something I never really was the right person to do. Why do people find it so offensive when someone is different? Is it some reflex reaction to avoid questioning your life choices? Does the mere presence of someone who doesn’t want to live like they do scratch their ego?!
This has gotten longer and more of an angry rant than I intended it to be, sorry for that. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this video and that I can really identify with what Skall said. Thank you, Skall.
I know it's easier said than done, but on issues like that it's best to disregard people who have a problem with the way you are. Being open and honest about yourself whenever it matters (i.e. potentially entering a platonic relationship in your case) but not bothering with those who refuse to understand you or at least tolerate what they can't understand. Being asexual is neither something you chose nor something you can change, and if people judge you for it, well... fuck 'em. Not literally, obviously. :)
Skallnanigans I didn’t think you’d see this comment! Thank you so much for your reply!!
Skallnanigans You’re my favorite RUclipsr btw^^
Happy Childfree Day
I have 3 kids and take it from me, they are loud, messy and expensive
@Starshine2000 Summertime why's that any of your business?
@Starshine2000 Summertime who ever said is was complaining?
That's just how you perceive it.
My brutha I stumbled across your channel and I'm satisfied that I did.
I'm 42 years old,been married once (and divorced),and have never had kids. My sister is a year older than me,and she's never had kids either. It's never been an issue w/ our parents;matter of fact,they've told us in the past that they're glad neither of us ever had kids. For me it's a number of personal reasons: I never wanted to have kids w/ ANY of my partners,because I didn't think they would make good mothers. Another reason is what you said in your video,I think I would make a terrible parent. Honestly,I applaud anyone's decision not to have kids,for whatever reason they might have,I don't think that is selfish in the least.
people need not worry about other people, judging others whilst not looking at yourself
there are other life goals besides having children
Before I watch video. How would being childfree even be selfish?
We live in an over populated world as it is. Wouldn't wanting and having kids (reproducing, not adopting) be more selfish?
August 1 Happy international childfree day
Interesting how adopting a puppy or kitten is a lot of work and its exhausting...but not a baby? And also, I hate constantly being told I'll change my mind or that everyone else is doing it. I have been called selfish for it too. I'm sick of it. I can't stand kids, I already work with kids and I hate it. Y am I gonna torture myself with coming back home to one? Finally, disliking kids isn't a crime.
Its equivalent to not liking fruits, vegetables or a specific activity. Same thing. Its a choice, I know I'd make a shitty mom. However, I didn't choose to dislike kids. It just is...like the way I love chocolate, nobody questions that. How can I change my mind about something I already know I don't like? Illogical. I'm afraid of heights....I didn't choose that and I'm not changing my mind about that either.
Here's the shitty thing about countries that are having massive birth rate increases: They are usually 3rd world countries where people are getting killed by diseases, unsafe work conditions and crime in general on a regular basis, so it kinda compensates, but not as much in some areas.
Whenever people talk about this, my only thought is that, so long as the person in question is SURE, then there is no problem. Yes there are those who thinks that you can't live without ever having a kid, but I don't necessarily think so. I think there's a lot to gain for those who want to have a kid, but it's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't want to. It's an enormous responsibility, and not everyone wants that. And I realise that last bit can come off as condescending, as if I think people who choose not to have kids aren't responsible, please don't think that. It was not meant as such.
We should remove all the warning labels, and let the problem solve itself.
24 yo biologist and environmental science grad student here. Got my vasectomy this month and have wanted to do so for more than 10 years.
I honestly think that the selfish thing is to have kids, thus putting more pressure on the environment AND condemning a person to suffer the dreadful consequences of climate change (not to mention the worldwide rise of totalitarism)
I asked different doctors for a vasectomy for years before I got one! Congratulations! I knew I didn't want kids since I was 8 years old.
Selfish thing is having kids while world overpopulated just for own joy or urges.
One of me is more than enough for this rock we live on.
There's enough people already..its selfish to bring more people into the world..it's not an obligation to become a parent, so how can it be selfish not to be a parent?
I think the people being douche both childfree and having kids alike .
Yes, western countries have a negative fertility rate as where countries in say the 3rd world (mostly the middle east) have a higher birth rate then what's needed for replacement levels...and? Fact is in western society these days even finding some to have a healthy relationship with is like finding a needle in a hay stack (actually even that would be easier as all you would need is a strong magnet).
Then trusting that relationship is strong enough to withstand what it takes to properly raise a child? If the divorce rates, rampet false accusations ect are anything to go by...yeah. Then there is the fact that family child services offices are staffed by fucking psychopaths that are just itching to rip families apart. Well you can understand why a man or even a healthy couple would take a step back and say "Yeah I don't think that's a good idea".
The choice as far as I can see to the people that make it, would be one of practicality. Not being selfish.
This may is going to be seen as controversial, but how high is the Child mortallity rate in the 3rd world in comparision to the western world?
It helps when you have 10 wives.
@@angelsfallfirst7348 Actually not really
@@ryangoepfert9112 I know. It was simply a crack at Arabic polygamists.
you're right, and it always baffles me when people ask me why I don't have any yet, nevermind knowing if im even in a relationship or married, or whats going on financially or what sort of person I amm it's even more interesting how people think it's even a choice, sometimes it's not, n it just simply does not happen within the timeframe you have
lining up a suitable partner, financial stability, being able to have time to raise the child n not just work n leave it with someone, it seems it would be a miracle if you got 3 or 4 or those things to coincide at the same time, or maybe it's just me.
Need to be able to like this morrrreeeeeee!!!!!
Hit the nail on the head with the passing on heredity diseases etc.. Contributing factor to why I don't want kids. What type of vile human being would I be to know what I have can/will be passed on willingly onto my kids! Sometimes I think people who have kids do it for selfish reasons. Swings and roundabouts :)
Loving this channel.