I did a contract with my oldest. She had a phone at 11 but it was ONLY used when she was home alone or when she went places with her friends. She only had family’s phone numbers. She had to maintain all As. When she turned 12. She could use it to call friends and sometimes on the weekends. At 13 she could use it after school. The phone always stayed in the kitchen at night. Never upstairs. When she was 14 she had maintained all As and had excellent behavior so she was allowed more freedom with her phone. By 15 she had it all the time. She’s now 18 and ALWAYS kept straight As.
Lol this episode was hilarious! I am sure you're gonna be the number one podcast here in Greece pretty soon guys don't worry about it! Trid you speak Greek pretty good bro well done!
For the internationals: grades don't translate well. An A is the US means you learned what you were supposed to, and a normal kid putting in normal effort should be able to get an A. In some non-USA places, an A means you have proven that you are well above grade-level, while a C means you can do what you should be able to do. In some systems, 50% is a good pass; in the US 50% is often failing. The US is not easier, it just measures differently. This can really come as a shock to kids and parents when they change systems. Thank you for saying that he's already proven he can get the grades you are aiming for. That's important. I love Sheena's laughter, but I also want to hear what she really thinks!
I would say it is more like that _now_ as you describe. It didn't used to be. 30 years ago, when I was in school, my teacher immediately recommended me for advanced placement testing _because_ I had straight As all the time. She said it was too easy if I was able to always pass my tests with excellent grades. In 6th grade, I thought this was a little ridiculous. After all, I had great grades. But, no, that actually indicated to her that I didn't belong in (to her view) easy classes. I moved to advanced placement classes in the 7th grade and that was a rough transition as it expected me to know things not covered in previous classes or grades. But, by the 8th grade, I was again in straight A territory. At that point, my teachers were not upset and considered me the standard by which other students should follow (I did not and still do not think that's true). I spoke to my friend's teenager over the 4th of July holiday and the grading system has changed in our state. 80-100 is an A now. I just boggled at that. To get an F, you basically have less than a 50% on your tests. I don't know how to process that as an adult. But, the teenager summed it up correctly: It's because the state saw too many people failing to pass, so they lowered the thresholds. I begin to understand part of the problem with American society now. Another individual, about 10 years older than that teenager, told me a year ago that they didn't teach critical thinking in school when he was attending as a teenager. Combining that with the lower thresholds, I see why students just don't have the same level of education I did when I was their age. That is frightening because I was in the bottom 2 states in the country in terms of education at that point and it's still a major, and even overwhelming, advantage over what kids have now.
As a Brit, muppet and donkey are some of my favourite words to use when calling someone an idiot but there are children present. Also, it’s chewsday innit 😅
I am from India .. so if i break a rule , my parents followed the TRID policy of slap/ slipper.. but in your case just remember that you are not handling a toddler anymore but a teenager.. so be extra cautious.. dont talk about charts, rules etc.. they rarely work.. start treating him like an adult because whether you like it or not, kids grow up fast or they think they grow up fast.. so dont try to be strict.. and the reward/penalty system also doesnt work.. my suggestion, just sit with him and talk.. but dont push too hard because they will start pushing back hard.. if you over do it they will resent it and may resent you too.. truth is there is not much parents can do to keep the kids from wanting to own and use a phone because the kids believe that having the phone makes them grownups and because of peer pressure.. so go with it and dont be too harsh on the kids.. remember we were teenagers once too but our generation didnt have too much of this technology, smartphones, internet etc but this generation does..so think from their standpoint.
An A- is an A. There now you know. LOL Of course I was in college 40 years ago. Maybe things have changed. Not putting technology constantly in front of your kids will increase their creativity, and that is the voice of experience.
Hi, from Puerto Rico. Rules we’ve put in place for a teenager son: 1) mom & dad have complete access to device at all times 2) we track device always 3) we authorize downloads & purchases (when they have credit card they decide) 4) during school nights, phone access ends at 9-9:30. Weekends, at midnight. 5) absolutely NO USE OF PHONE in class 6) having phone is NOT a Right, it’s a privilege 7) grades must be kept at A’s 8) violation of these rules WILL result in Loss of Phone privilege. …and yes, I agree with Trid: bring back the slap!! In Puerto Rico, the slipper is called “la chanca o la chancleta”. If you got hit with a chancleta, you got a “chancletazo”. Come visit Puerto Rico!!
Not a parent, but a young adult who had a technology-less childhood and suddenly saw my older brother and friends all getting iPhones. I didn't have a phone until I was 13 and the phone was a pretty old Samsung Galaxy which had calling, texting, recording, etc. but I couldn't install any new apps and it was too small to be frequently usable anyway. Parents had same policy, phone and laptop outside of bedroom until I was about 15. I still didn't have a great phone so I had to manage it well. They made sure I understood how social media can mess with my brain so that I didn't install social media until I was 16. Didn't like how parents snooped on messages, I would instead recommend just checking the people your kid is interacting with. Got a good phone and no more monitoring after I was 18. Loved this episode!
Messages might be problematic, show red flags, that you dont recognize at the time or are afraid to talk about. Threats, stalking, subtle grooming behaviors even from "nice" kids in your class. Sometimes it takes someone else seeing, recognizing, stepping in. So many of the issues that escalate to tragedies were involved parents, their good kids, supposedly "nice" friends.
@@amberpalmer3708 It definitely was a net positive! I definitely didn't enjoy the snooping and sometimes teenage girls have feelings they want to confide in their besties and I definitely became a somewhat sneakier child because of it lol. I downloaded Instagram on my laptop to chat with friends privately but I never got into the scrolling crap so I didn't get addicted to the app. However, the idea of giving a child the equivalent of a flip phone simply for the sake of communication was a great idea by my parents and I think it should be implemented more!
@@cleanserene6330 That's definitely true. I think it's worth talking to kids about it and if there are any red flags in the child's behavior, the messages can be read. It should be made clear that privacy, especially at that young age, is a privilege and not a right and if there's any reason to be concerned, that privilege may be lost for some amount of time. I don't agree with parents snooping randomly and for no reason because teens do have feelings and thoughts they want to talk about with friends and not parents sometimes. I do think that with correct guidance and discussion beforehand, kids can develop their intuition and not need to be monitored, but it obviously depends on the child.
I gave my son his first phone at age 11. When he went to high school. I told him that I was trusting him to be honest with me if I asked him any questions with regards to its use. I told him it was my responsibility to make sure he was safe and that he had to respect that. That respect is two way and that if he gave me cause for concern then I would have to rethink my decision. I asked him often about his use. He would openly show me his phone even though I never asked. I also told him I would never look without his permission. I think if you build up openness and trust both ways it helps a lot.😊
My oldest got his cell phone when he was in boot camp and he was 17. Kids don't need cell phones in school, they need to learn first and phones are a distraction. Learning that now with my 15 year old grandson
I agree especially with how toxic social media is, etc. When they become adults and make their own money, they can do what they please. If you need contact with your kid, buy one of those phones that can call mom and dad, grandparents, and emergency response only.
I would say the contract should have small letters saying - we as providers of the phone are able to change, add and modify rules, because kids are too creative 😅. it is a good idea that he learns the way to take care of a plant and takes care of one and gets straight A's. A+ A- it's still an A 😁 Not a teen mom but I hope it helps ❤❤❤❤ btw I love that you share your view as parents because I as a mom of 2 👩👧👦(5 and 4 yrs) have learned a lot from what you've share, your ideas your question your point of view everything is great knowledge you've shared on how to be mindful of you and your behavior and how it affects our surroundings primarily our kids. 💞🙏☺️✨
Here in Romania, one of our most famous sayings is "Ceapa mãtii" which literally translates to "your mom's onions" 😂 Saw your kid on some device he's not supposed to be on? Say Eeii, ceapa mãtii! 😂 Also, since I'm on the topic of devices, you could give Jae a phone for texting and talking first - like the revamped Nokia 1310 - it has VERY limited functionalities but you can keep in touch in case of an emergency or something and he could rock that old school vibe that's coming back nowadays 😊
I have a 12 year old and we have an app that we can use on their phone that locks down whatever apps we want. We can even set up cut off times for the device and get notifications on keywords being used.
12 & 13 is the biggest growth and personality changes for the kids as maturity and puberty is at a high! I gave my kids phone at this age for transportation purposes only at first. Then progressed to after school after homework. My kids off time was 7pm for showers and getting ready for bed. It's has shown we all need at least 1 hour for our brains to shutdown that activity on being on any devices. My kids are now 13 & 15 they have phones from 730am after getting ready until 8pm before bed time. Keeping phones charging in our bedroom. Trust me kids are sneaky and they do get on them at every chance. Keep the routine everyday. Chores not being done it gets taken away. You have to let them know it's a privilege and not a right just like driving 😄. Also I don't allow them to have IG or Snapchat..... oh no😑
Swedish equivsalent to "Straw that broke the camels back", "Droppen som fick bägaren att rinna över", which translates to "the drop that made the cup run over", commonly said as "Det var sista droppen" which I guess is also used in english as "That's the last drop" :)
In our house-all devices charge in kitchen at night. When/if caught in their bedroom with device than device is taken away until proven to be more responsible. (Usually 1 week) it’s only been taken away once probably because than they realized we were serious.
I use "chatar matha" a lot, which literally translates to "umbrella head," but i don't think it is a swear word. The same goes for "popat," which is parrot.
I felt this episode to my core! I'm a mom to many many children, but that's a story for another day. My youngest got a phone at a younger age than all the other children. I'm a single mom now and without going into all the detail, I just felt it was important he had one. He's also 12. I use an app that allows me to track his location, track all his games and messenger services. With this, I set the times that his phone shuts down. When it shuts down, he can still use it to call me (and others of my choosing) in case of emergency or call emergency services. This eliminates him being on the device past a certain time at night or to early in the morning. I track all the usage and if I feel he's been on a particular game too much, I can simply shut that game down or the phone as a whole. This would also pertain to all social media sites, but he's too young for those and has none so I don't worry about that. The other thing is that he can't install anything on the phone (socials/games/ other apps) without my password. It's ptetty full proof in my opinion. It allows me to help him be safe in this technological world while still having some autonomy to communicate with friends and family and learn to be his own person. Good luck to you both. Raising kids is HARD as you well know! P.S. I freaking love you both, your genuine connection while being honest about real life struggles and your hilarious banter! And, I'm from Canada too....yay... Well, kindove😂.
I got my daughter a cellphone in 3rd grade because she missed the bus 2 yrs in a row coming home and i couldn't handle the stress and anxiety. I set time limits where it turns off and bedtime limits and app restrictions.
The watch is brilliant, everything changes once they have a phone. Maybe highschool, but as far as I'm concerned delay as long as possible and then give him a flip phone! 🤣
I used to have to do the same things with my girls. I used to take the devices away at night & put them in my room bc they used to get up after I went to bed to get them. So for 2 years the devices had to be placed in my room before they went to bed. They’re now 18yo and fall asleep face timing their boyfriends. 😂🤣😂
I rode the bus to and from school. My parents made me wait until I was 18, and I had to get my own phone. That worked for me, but all people are different.
My daughter turns 13 in July, she goes to junior high this April’24. She goes to grade 7 as per the Japanese system. Let me tell you peer pressure is insane! I plan to give her a phone only when she’s in high school. The latter end. A year before she goes to college. I don’t have social media and I am not missing anything so I think I am going to do my best and not give her a phone til she’s probably 18😂. Same reason why we haven’t got her an iPad.
In agreement with Trid; yes, I came for the laughing Sheena but also for the life stories. No, your discussions most likely won't shape my life decisions but they make me feel better knowing adults from other walks of life deal with the same issues as myself. 😂 Keep up the great podcasts guys!
I mean I'm a junior in high school right now. Im currently 16 yrs old. I didn't get my phone until I was 15. So I think you should wait maybe 2 or 3 more years before you give him a phone. My sister is only 9 yo so she has to give her tablet to our mom and dad before she goes to bed. but because I'm 16 yrs old, I am trusted to keep my phone in my room obviously because and because I have built that trust and that level of responsibility. The grades meaning I don't get to keep my phone doesn't really fit to someone my age because obviously in junior year of high school, you need to be responsible for everything, because after senior year is over, you won;t have mom and dad to hold you accountable for another 4 years
😊**Hi!** Our family in SoCal of Dad/Mom & 3 kids has rules like I've read from other viewers. So I'll add 2 that I WISH we had taught BEFORE handing the phone over instead of editing the rules along the way: A. Child must stay as connected to everyone in the family as they are now. If not, the phone gets limited until interpersonal relationships are healthy again. -after getting her phone, our 14 y/o stopped connecting w her little siblings. & has missed out on traditional fun "firsts" (1 tooth falling out, 1st hit in a softball game) - consequently our 14 y/o has begun to think we are less important than anything/anyone on her phone. We want our children to use the phone as a tool to stay connected to people, & not at the expense of the MOST important people. B. Each child & their phone rules, including WHEN/HOW they get one will be dealt w/ fairly but not always "equally" or the same. - we are betting that the youngest child will get his phone at an earlier age than our middle, because he has a great track record of responsibility & independence since he's been little. - also, motivations for one sister do not appeal to the other. - this means that consequences/punishments will be different too. Lastly- We learned that just like permission to start driving, PARENTS must also teach, prepare their child for (years!) prior to EARNING a personal cellphone. ❤ I'm here to learn! I know I've already picked up good ideas from other posts!
🎉🎉🎉 I finally got my dose of TRID and Sheena Laughter 🤭. Now I can start my week. Hey 👋🏼 TRID 😮 i think that you should TAKE AWAY Shenna’s Phone if she kills Dead Pot Planted 😂😂😂 Blessings,Carlos ✝️🙏❤️😊🇺🇸
I got my first phone at around 16 and it was one of the (modern) Nokia bricks, I loved it! I shared the number with my mum so it was essentially her phone but I got to take it to school and stuff and even though my classmates had like the IPhone 4 (that was only just released then) I loved my brick. Then until I was around 19 while we upgraded, I was still essentially using my mum's phone. Then when I went to University that's when I bought my own first phone (Samsung Galaxy S6), I loved my S6 and used it for like 5 yrs then bought my 2nd - S9 and now on my most recent the S23 Ultra. I think not having a proper smart phone from a really young age that's fully my own was such a blessing because I'm not interested in upgrading my phone every yr when a new one comes out, I look after my phones and use it until I have no other option but to upgrade - I had my S9 for like 5 yrs as well then I had to change it cos the battery was starting to bulge 🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀ so I think I really understood the privilege of being able to have things like that, made me less entitled and more grateful. I'm very thankful this was the process I went through and I'm hoping something similar is what I can do with my kids🙏🏽
There are possibilities to give a phone or other devices to your child, but keep them under control with tools like Google family. You can assign specific times for the device to be blocked and run at. You can block the possibility of new apps to be installed and so much more. You can give the phone, but you have to set up a set of rules on when and what is allowed.
Contrary to your popular belief Mr Trid, I am here for the wisdom you bestow upon our minds. Sheena's laughter is the icing on the cake :P. I shall continue to listen to the number 1.756 podcast in Uranus.
I don’t have kids but I do remember that I got a pay as you go phone with no data for my first phone. Age was 17. Didn’t get my first real phone till I was 24
All fun stuff aside, you two. Actually, not all fun aside, you are both hilarious and so incredibly sweet when it comes to your children! ♥ Buy a book called "THE GIFT of FEAR" by Gavin DeBecker (a former FBI Agent). This book has sold millions of copies and has been incredibly instrumental in teaching many women and girls how to protect themselves, as well as young kiddos and families, from the danger of everyday life. It will teach you so, so much. I hope your readers will also look into this, it's so very much worth it! ♥ I bought the book in 1997 and I am so grateful I did, it's been so amazing to have this fantastic instrument of knowledge in my hands since then.... Love you, Sheena & TRID! xoxo ♥
watched this today, all electronics go into my wife's offices at night before bed. Her office is right by the stairs, so as I go upstairs to bed I check to make sure I see all the devices in her office.
Most devices have parental controls and you can also shut off Internet access to kids for certain times, when mine were younger it was off from 9 pm to 7 am.... Good luck ❤
We use the downtime function on our kids devices. We have them set up so that the only capabilities during downtime hours are to contact us. Punishments include losing time ex: DT starts at 7pm instead of 8pm and depending on severity of behavior- losing the device for a period of time. For reference, we have 3-12yr olds and one is T1D which we manage BS levels with her phone. It’s not perfect but it’s working for us. We used to do -all electronics go on the parents dresser at night by 8pm. It was their responsibility to have them on our dresser. Good luck!
13:56 so my Teenage sons bring them to my room an hour before bedtime . Bedtime for them is 9:30. So by 8:30 , the devices are in my room . they try to slip through with “oh I forgot “ and they stay with the phones and tablets longer . Honestly the device use was really affecting them . Missing work , finishing and not turning in assignments ! Sleeping in class etc . I just had to put the rule in place and it’s gotten better but I still have to follow up with a text msg like “hey what time is it ? Where are your devices? “
Depending on who you ask, the thing with devices & bedrooms is the fact that each of them is emitting some sort of radiation when communicating with the internet, the phone signal, etc + there's the fact that screens are basically glowing UV lights and it's been proven that too much blue light causes insomnia so ideally you would want to not have it in the bedroom to take a break from all those things but nobody sticks with it nowadays so it comes down to preference, I guess....
My kids are still too young for phones, although my 7 year old has been asking for about two years. My husband says high school, I was thinking middle school. But it will depend on how responsible they are by the time they are teenagers. My oldest loses things a lot, so I think it might take her longer to earn a phone. We have awhile to wait and see.
But further more, in regards to kids with technology, I do not have any experience as the parental figure yet because my daughter is 2 and therefore far too young for a phone, but at least when I was younger, my parents also enforced the no phone's at night rule. However, if it was not in my room, I did end up sneaking it a bit more, and I am not sure why. Maybe it was because it was a defiance thing. But once my parents started allowing my phone in my room, it was less appealing to use it, but that is not how every kid reacts. Usually, they stay up all night and lose sleep lol. Most friwnds i had did try and pull "all nighters" relatively frequently, so I would say it just depends on the kid and how you as a parent would think they would handle it. My parents used grade point averages as well, but I would say an A- is considered an A, especially because some teachers do grade a bit more harshly than others. I think everyone has had a teacher that just refuses to give A's. And some kids struggle in specific subjects and whatnot. But I think that makes perfect sense as a phone rule. Grades are a good reference point to responsibility, and that was reflected through me growing up as well. That might be a great plan is to base it off the grades. Hope any of that helps!😊
Great podcast. TRIDent, how many languages do you speak? I think its a great idea to make his grades come up first. When he accomplishes that, then he can have a phone as long as his grades dont go down. There are alot of apps you can use to block certain things you dont want him accessing. Also, keep phone down stairs at bedtime. Your great parents and im sure this will all go smoothly. Love to you both ❤
The phone topic is interesting because of the podcast I heard yest3rday. The Hidden Brain podcast has am episode titled Escaping The Matrix, and it has some insight into allowing children to jave phones and to be on social media. I'm not sponsored lol. Love listening to you both, keep having these conversations
It's good to set goals and rewards for reaching the goal. But sometimes you need to recognize and reward when a lot of effort was put into reaching for the goals but coming up short.
I have a 14 year old and I have put ‘Family link’ on my daughter’s phone - which is a parental control. Her phone can only be used by her for two hours ( limit put by me) and used or not used it goes off at 10pm . You can also control which app they get to use for how much time. And they cannot download an app without permission. This can be done on multiple devices. It done on her iPad and phone and laptop.
After raising 3 sons, my husband and I had the following rules. 1. Starts with he and I a.) Say what we mean, mean what we say. b.) Follow through. PERIOD c.) Be and stay on the same page with each other. NEVER contradict each other. Even if you dont agree, talk about it away from your kids. Teenagers catch this and will play and prey on it. d.) Allowed them to have a voice. If they did not agree with a punishment, they were able to share what and why e.) Respect them as little humans and explain why your answer is no. Rules for them 1.) Good grades, always 2.) Manners and respect 3.) Honesty 4.) Chores done on time 5.) 2 hours of TV per week 6.) They could not have a phone until 9th grade However, smartphones were not an issue.. the "in" phone was The Razor. Lol
My favourite saying/insult is German: Hirn vom Himmel! (Brains from the sky!) It's a short form of a phrase that has evolved quite a bit. It's used when talking to or about an idiot or someone doing something dumb. Herr, wirf/schmeisst Hirn vom Himmel! Lord, throw brains from Heaven! ...oder Steine, Hauptsache er trifft. ...or stones, as long as they hit the mark. Further evolution: An dem Tag, an dem der Herr tatsächlich mal Hirn vom Himmel wirft, werden wir alle staunen, wie gelenkig die Doofen beim Wegducken sind. This translates to: On the day the Lord actually throws brains from Heaven, we'll all be stunned by the agility of stupid people ducking out of the way. Neither German or English is my first language, so apologies where necessary:)
To answer Trid's question: An A- is an A. An A is an A. An A+ is an A. The plus, minus, and lack of a symbol suffix indicate where within that letter grade you are without giving the number itself. 90-93 was an A- when I was in school. 94-96 was an A. And 97-100 was an A+. The number range for the grades has changed since I was a kid. But, to Sheena's and Trid's point: Until they no longer live with you OR they are no longer minors, they abide by whatever rules you set down in the house. The level of difficulty is determined ONLY by compliance to the existing rules. If you're following the rules (as a kid), you will find it easy. The more rules you break, the more rules you gain and must have to follow. And, lastly, Trid is right for a separate reason: If you set a rule for one of your kids, both must follow it. If you set it for one but not the other, you're demonstrating favoritism and double standards. If Jae has to wait until 13, the daughter should as well. Otherwise, what you've said is your rules are arbitrary and compliance can (and likely will) be equally arbitrary.
Okay, so in answering to the questions, one for inaults or curses in another language that do not have the same impact in American English: être con comme un balais which is french It means: "to be dumb as a brush."😂
For your sons phone there are apps that parents can download where they can control the usage etc. you can see what they are currently on and parents have the ability to shut it down.
Screen time limits (per app and device wide) on devices. I have a 13 year old and the device locks at 9:00 PM til 7 AM. Some apps are only available for an hour a day. And it’s also set so that when screen time is up I am the only person that can be contacted during that time.
We also had arguments about whose phone it was for my eldest kids when they got there’s. We told them we control the phone and it’s our gone until they were old enough to have a job that they could pay for the monthly bill themselves. Until then we fund the phone so we control the phone.
In Malaysia, we speak Malay. One of the most popular curse word is "mak kau hijau" which literally means "your mother is green" 😭😭😭 it's used all the time it makes no sense 😭
Not having raised a child, I have nothing to offer from personal experience. From seeing what other families do, a designated place in the living room - individual wicker baskets where the devices are placed before bedtime had worked for them to create specific structure, even to the point of the parents doing the same thing. Just a thought.
My kids always have the their devices with them in their own rooms but their responsibilities have always come first, includes school, waking up on time, assignments completed, school is the #1 priority. Make sure their own laundry is always done. They have responsibilities and so far I dont have complaints.
I remember going to school back in 2000 and my teacher if you have an F you don’t go to recess with your friends . You have lunch with the teacher in the classroom and make up the work until all work is turned in and done correctly smh 🤦🏻♀️ I Learned my lesson. I spend 2 weeks making it up. My mom was and honor roll student so therefore if nothing was a 100 it was unacceptable. Before I start first grade I memorized all my multiplication table up to 15. And I didn’t even have a phone until til I got a job and bought my own phone. I mean I had an iPod touch and after 8pm she cut the internet off 🤣😭😭😭 So we couldn’t do nothing anyways. Looking back im thankful.
As a dad i wanna teach my dau to be responsible (responsibility training) . At 13 i gave her a phone.. The deal was i know her password and my fingerprint is also in the phone so i can check the phone if needed . Would recommend parents to install FAMILY LINK from google on the phone so u can manage how long they can access the phone in a day and access hours, type of apps they can download or use, even track their location. My dau is 15 now and am glad to say that it all worked out well. By initially controlling their access it helps them to manage their time and creates a discipline... Am glad i did this FYI at 13 she only had 3 hours of phone usage daily restricted by the App.. Today at 15 i have given her unlimited usage.. But still no social media
My husband watched the phone bill. Back in the day the bill came with a printout of each call and text. One bill showed so many texts during class time. Text to people she was going to see during passing time and lunchtime. After the “talk” about the importance of being focused in class and this texting was unacceptable she lost her phone privileges after school, every day until the next phone bill. Fortunately, for my girl, she was a quick learner and did not like being in trouble. This punishment never happened again
My daughter got a phone around that age but I put parental restrictions on her phone there’s so many that can be adjusted to school & sleep times also, she wasn’t able to get any apps without my approval, I could look at anything on her phone at any time, she wasn’t allowed to have a password I didn’t know about & still to this day we talk about internet safety a lot & openly.. she’s now 21. She’s now still very responsible with her phone, and I still have her password
As a GenZ from a neglected household, this is how I wish things were with mobile phone. I bought one once I got a job, I had used my mother's phone and since I didn't understand how not to defend myself from creeps, it allowed a lot of harassment which I couldn't share with anyone at the time. Stay friendly and communicative of who they chat with, if possible, bond with their friends too. This might prevent them from falling into trouble and feeling scared to tell you or taking part in making others feel unsafe. I wish I was given a phone and encouraged to use it in a productive way and not judged by my own family, would've saved a lot of trauma =)
We have a “insult” in Norway where we say: Din Nisse! Which is a creature that cannot be directly translated but it’s close to an elf or a little gnome. Which mostly means u have been mischievous or naughty sometimes even evil😆
And we (Norwegians) call Santa Claus "Julenissen", which means that Santa might be some kind of Nisse, hehe. I think calling someone Nisse as an insult is similar to saying "you silly person". :P A kind of playful insult.
No screened media ... one time I took everything with a screen away for a significant amount of time. After that all I had to say was "screened media" as a warning and he knew I was serious so behavior changed.
My daughter kept her phone ringer off and never answered my calls. It would freakme out when she didn’t answer. So only rule I had was that as long as I pay the bill, my calls had to always be answered. You don’t answer I’ll come looking for you and I don’t care where you are or who you’re with I’ll come looking for you so I can take back the phone. If you think phone rules are hard, wait til they begin driving. We surprised my daughter with her 1st car, which came with 5/6 rules, which she agreed to of course. My favourite rule - Handle you, your passengers and the car with care as rules can and will be updated with little/minimal notice. In other words would my parents approve, agree, have issues etc? if the answer is no then don’t do it!
I live in Ireland and a Muppet is an insult because of the muppets show - it was a childrens TV show where they sang songs and had loads of different characters. Its actually an American show but was very popular over here and all our age group watched it so we started calling people muppets in school when they were being idiotic
So true, my failure to keep my phone away at night did lead to the podcast.
I did a contract with my oldest. She had a phone at 11 but it was ONLY used when she was home alone or when she went places with her friends. She only had family’s phone numbers. She had to maintain all As.
When she turned 12. She could use it to call friends and sometimes on the weekends.
At 13 she could use it after school. The phone always stayed in the kitchen at night. Never upstairs.
When she was 14 she had maintained all As and had excellent behavior so she was allowed more freedom with her phone. By 15 she had it all the time. She’s now 18 and ALWAYS kept straight As.
this is a great idea! i might use this if or when i have a child down the line...
As a Greek I am insulted trid said it was the number 27 podcast in Greece. We have no podcasts only goats and cigarettes..
😅😂😂😅
😂 love goats!
😂😂😂😂
lol 😂
HAHAHAHA
This is the most unique enjoyable podcast I've ever seen...
That's what I said lol
Lol this episode was hilarious! I am sure you're gonna be the number one podcast here in Greece pretty soon guys don't worry about it! Trid you speak Greek pretty good bro well done!
"I'm selling a product to the podcasts" 😂😂😂 I'm dead
🤣🤣🤣🤣
For the internationals: grades don't translate well. An A is the US means you learned what you were supposed to, and a normal kid putting in normal effort should be able to get an A.
In some non-USA places, an A means you have proven that you are well above grade-level, while a C means you can do what you should be able to do. In some systems, 50% is a good pass; in the US 50% is often failing. The US is not easier, it just measures differently. This can really come as a shock to kids and parents when they change systems.
Thank you for saying that he's already proven he can get the grades you are aiming for. That's important.
I love Sheena's laughter, but I also want to hear what she really thinks!
I would say it is more like that _now_ as you describe. It didn't used to be. 30 years ago, when I was in school, my teacher immediately recommended me for advanced placement testing _because_ I had straight As all the time. She said it was too easy if I was able to always pass my tests with excellent grades. In 6th grade, I thought this was a little ridiculous. After all, I had great grades. But, no, that actually indicated to her that I didn't belong in (to her view) easy classes.
I moved to advanced placement classes in the 7th grade and that was a rough transition as it expected me to know things not covered in previous classes or grades. But, by the 8th grade, I was again in straight A territory. At that point, my teachers were not upset and considered me the standard by which other students should follow (I did not and still do not think that's true).
I spoke to my friend's teenager over the 4th of July holiday and the grading system has changed in our state. 80-100 is an A now. I just boggled at that. To get an F, you basically have less than a 50% on your tests. I don't know how to process that as an adult. But, the teenager summed it up correctly: It's because the state saw too many people failing to pass, so they lowered the thresholds.
I begin to understand part of the problem with American society now. Another individual, about 10 years older than that teenager, told me a year ago that they didn't teach critical thinking in school when he was attending as a teenager. Combining that with the lower thresholds, I see why students just don't have the same level of education I did when I was their age. That is frightening because I was in the bottom 2 states in the country in terms of education at that point and it's still a major, and even overwhelming, advantage over what kids have now.
We gave our daughter a phone for Xmas this past Xmas. She's 14. It lasted 1 month!
As a Brit, muppet and donkey are some of my favourite words to use when calling someone an idiot but there are children present. Also, it’s chewsday innit 😅
Trid just broke the FIFTH wall !
😂 💯
They are such a lovely couple. I truly enjoy their back and forth.
Im an adult; no kids; stressful life phase: this was one of the best podcasts. Please update us on what happens next.
TRID spitting straight facts!
I am from India .. so if i break a rule , my parents followed the TRID policy of slap/ slipper.. but in your case just remember that you are not handling a toddler anymore but a teenager.. so be extra cautious.. dont talk about charts, rules etc.. they rarely work.. start treating him like an adult because whether you like it or not, kids grow up fast or they think they grow up fast.. so dont try to be strict.. and the reward/penalty system also doesnt work.. my suggestion, just sit with him and talk.. but dont push too hard because they will start pushing back hard.. if you over do it they will resent it and may resent you too.. truth is there is not much parents can do to keep the kids from wanting to own and use a phone because the kids believe that having the phone makes them grownups and because of peer pressure.. so go with it and dont be too harsh on the kids.. remember we were teenagers once too but our generation didnt have too much of this technology, smartphones, internet etc but this generation does..so think from their standpoint.
Most practical one imo
Universal charging station...all devices go on it at bed time
An A- is an A. There now you know. LOL Of course I was in college 40 years ago. Maybe things have changed. Not putting technology constantly in front of your kids will increase their creativity, and that is the voice of experience.
Hi, from Puerto Rico. Rules we’ve put in place for a teenager son:
1) mom & dad have complete access to device at all times
2) we track device always
3) we authorize downloads & purchases (when they have credit card they decide)
4) during school nights, phone access ends at 9-9:30. Weekends, at midnight.
5) absolutely NO USE OF PHONE in class
6) having phone is NOT a Right, it’s a privilege
7) grades must be kept at A’s
8) violation of these rules WILL result in Loss of Phone privilege.
…and yes, I agree with Trid: bring back the slap!! In Puerto Rico, the slipper is called “la chanca o la chancleta”. If you got hit with a chancleta, you got a “chancletazo”.
Come visit Puerto Rico!!
This rules are pretty similar to the ones I set for my son. He got his phone 6 months after he turned 15, for Christmas.
Come visit to see what, kids being slapped left and right?
Sheena, we love you both. You both are amazing, just in your own individual ways.
Not a parent, but a young adult who had a technology-less childhood and suddenly saw my older brother and friends all getting iPhones. I didn't have a phone until I was 13 and the phone was a pretty old Samsung Galaxy which had calling, texting, recording, etc. but I couldn't install any new apps and it was too small to be frequently usable anyway.
Parents had same policy, phone and laptop outside of bedroom until I was about 15. I still didn't have a great phone so I had to manage it well. They made sure I understood how social media can mess with my brain so that I didn't install social media until I was 16.
Didn't like how parents snooped on messages, I would instead recommend just checking the people your kid is interacting with.
Got a good phone and no more monitoring after I was 18.
Loved this episode!
That sounds like good parenting! Do you think it helped or hurt?
Messages might be problematic, show red flags, that you dont recognize at the time or are afraid to talk about. Threats, stalking, subtle grooming behaviors even from "nice" kids in your class. Sometimes it takes someone else seeing, recognizing, stepping in. So many of the issues that escalate to tragedies were involved parents, their good kids, supposedly "nice" friends.
@@amberpalmer3708 It definitely was a net positive! I definitely didn't enjoy the snooping and sometimes teenage girls have feelings they want to confide in their besties and I definitely became a somewhat sneakier child because of it lol. I downloaded Instagram on my laptop to chat with friends privately but I never got into the scrolling crap so I didn't get addicted to the app.
However, the idea of giving a child the equivalent of a flip phone simply for the sake of communication was a great idea by my parents and I think it should be implemented more!
@@cleanserene6330 That's definitely true. I think it's worth talking to kids about it and if there are any red flags in the child's behavior, the messages can be read. It should be made clear that privacy, especially at that young age, is a privilege and not a right and if there's any reason to be concerned, that privilege may be lost for some amount of time. I don't agree with parents snooping randomly and for no reason because teens do have feelings and thoughts they want to talk about with friends and not parents sometimes.
I do think that with correct guidance and discussion beforehand, kids can develop their intuition and not need to be monitored, but it obviously depends on the child.
I gave my son his first phone at age 11. When he went to high school. I told him that I was trusting him to be honest with me if I asked him any questions with regards to its use. I told him it was my responsibility to make sure he was safe and that he had to respect that. That respect is two way and that if he gave me cause for concern then I would have to rethink my decision. I asked him often about his use. He would openly show me his phone even though I never asked. I also told him I would never look without his permission. I think if you build up openness and trust both ways it helps a lot.😊
My oldest got his cell phone when he was in boot camp and he was 17. Kids don't need cell phones in school, they need to learn first and phones are a distraction. Learning that now with my 15 year old grandson
I agree especially with how toxic social media is, etc. When they become adults and make their own money, they can do what they please. If you need contact with your kid, buy one of those phones that can call mom and dad, grandparents, and emergency response only.
I would say the contract should have small letters saying - we as providers of the phone are able to change, add and modify rules, because kids are too creative 😅. it is a good idea that he learns the way to take care of a plant and takes care of one and gets straight A's. A+ A- it's still an A 😁
Not a teen mom but I hope it helps ❤❤❤❤ btw I love that you share your view as parents because I as a mom of 2 👩👧👦(5 and 4 yrs) have learned a lot from what you've share, your ideas your question your point of view everything is great knowledge you've shared on how to be mindful of you and your behavior and how it affects our surroundings primarily our kids. 💞🙏☺️✨
That’s a beautiful purse. You’re showing it to us whom waited with you Sheena. It’s not flaunting it very different ❤
Here in Romania, one of our most famous sayings is "Ceapa mãtii" which literally translates to "your mom's onions" 😂 Saw your kid on some device he's not supposed to be on? Say Eeii, ceapa mãtii! 😂 Also, since I'm on the topic of devices, you could give Jae a phone for texting and talking first - like the revamped Nokia 1310 - it has VERY limited functionalities but you can keep in touch in case of an emergency or something and he could rock that old school vibe that's coming back nowadays 😊
I have a 12 year old and we have an app that we can use on their phone that locks down whatever apps we want. We can even set up cut off times for the device and get notifications on keywords being used.
No devices in the room! We also shut down their internet access after 9pm.
12 & 13 is the biggest growth and personality changes for the kids as maturity and puberty is at a high! I gave my kids phone at this age for transportation purposes only at first. Then progressed to after school after homework. My kids off time was 7pm for showers and getting ready for bed. It's has shown we all need at least 1 hour for our brains to shutdown that activity on being on any devices. My kids are now 13 & 15 they have phones from 730am after getting ready until 8pm before bed time. Keeping phones charging in our bedroom. Trust me kids are sneaky and they do get on them at every chance. Keep the routine everyday. Chores not being done it gets taken away. You have to let them know it's a privilege and not a right just like driving 😄. Also I don't allow them to have IG or Snapchat..... oh no😑
This is a good one
Swedish equivsalent to "Straw that broke the camels back", "Droppen som fick bägaren att rinna över", which translates to "the drop that made the cup run over", commonly said as "Det var sista droppen" which I guess is also used in english as "That's the last drop" :)
Imagine being that first boy waiting on the doorstep when Trid opens the door.
Godspeed to him
In our house-all devices charge in kitchen at night. When/if caught in their bedroom with device than device is taken away until proven to be more responsible. (Usually 1 week) it’s only been taken away once probably because than they realized we were serious.
Man im such a fan of both of you guys. Trid, keep doing what ur doing, alot of us are here for it.
I use "chatar matha" a lot, which literally translates to "umbrella head," but i don't think it is a swear word. The same goes for "popat," which is parrot.
Dang I thought I was subscribed already. I missed so many. Time to binge a few episodes.
I felt this episode to my core! I'm a mom to many many children, but that's a story for another day. My youngest got a phone at a younger age than all the other children. I'm a single mom now and without going into all the detail, I just felt it was important he had one. He's also 12. I use an app that allows me to track his location, track all his games and messenger services. With this, I set the times that his phone shuts down. When it shuts down, he can still use it to call me (and others of my choosing) in case of emergency or call emergency services. This eliminates him being on the device past a certain time at night or to early in the morning. I track all the usage and if I feel he's been on a particular game too much, I can simply shut that game down or the phone as a whole. This would also pertain to all social media sites, but he's too young for those and has none so I don't worry about that. The other thing is that he can't install anything on the phone (socials/games/ other apps) without my password. It's ptetty full proof in my opinion. It allows me to help him be safe in this technological world while still having some autonomy to communicate with friends and family and learn to be his own person.
Good luck to you both. Raising kids is HARD as you well know!
P.S. I freaking love you both, your genuine connection while being honest about real life struggles and your hilarious banter! And, I'm from Canada too....yay... Well, kindove😂.
I got my daughter a cellphone in 3rd grade because she missed the bus 2 yrs in a row coming home and i couldn't handle the stress and anxiety. I set time limits where it turns off and bedtime limits and app restrictions.
The watch is brilliant, everything changes once they have a phone. Maybe highschool, but as far as I'm concerned delay as long as possible and then give him a flip phone! 🤣
Finally the purse! Soooo cute. I was thinking I missed an episode because she didn't show the purse
I used to have to do the same things with my girls. I used to take the devices away at night & put them in my room bc they used to get up after I went to bed to get them. So for 2 years the devices had to be placed in my room before they went to bed. They’re now 18yo and fall asleep face timing their boyfriends. 😂🤣😂
I rode the bus to and from school. My parents made me wait until I was 18, and I had to get my own phone. That worked for me, but all people are different.
I love trid!! 😂 pure honesty greatness!!😂
My daughter turns 13 in July, she goes to junior high this April’24. She goes to grade 7 as per the Japanese system. Let me tell you peer pressure is insane! I plan to give her a phone only when she’s in high school. The latter end. A year before she goes to college. I don’t have social media and I am not missing anything so I think I am going to do my best and not give her a phone til she’s probably 18😂. Same reason why we haven’t got her an iPad.
In agreement with Trid; yes, I came for the laughing Sheena but also for the life stories. No, your discussions most likely won't shape my life decisions but they make me feel better knowing adults from other walks of life deal with the same issues as myself. 😂 Keep up the great podcasts guys!
I mean I'm a junior in high school right now. Im currently 16 yrs old. I didn't get my phone until I was 15. So I think you should wait maybe 2 or 3 more years before you give him a phone. My sister is only 9 yo so she has to give her tablet to our mom and dad before she goes to bed. but because I'm 16 yrs old, I am trusted to keep my phone in my room obviously because and because I have built that trust and that level of responsibility. The grades meaning I don't get to keep my phone doesn't really fit to someone my age because obviously in junior year of high school, you need to be responsible for everything, because after senior year is over, you won;t have mom and dad to hold you accountable for another 4 years
Dammm
16 is too old. Even in the olden days that was.old.
😊**Hi!**
Our family in SoCal of Dad/Mom & 3 kids has rules like I've read from other viewers.
So I'll add 2 that I WISH we had taught BEFORE handing the phone over instead of editing the rules along the way:
A. Child must stay as connected to everyone in the family as they are now. If not, the phone gets limited until interpersonal relationships are healthy again.
-after getting her phone, our 14 y/o stopped connecting w her little siblings. & has missed out on traditional fun "firsts" (1 tooth falling out, 1st hit in a softball game)
- consequently our 14 y/o has begun to think we are less important than anything/anyone on her phone. We want our children to use the phone as a tool to stay connected to people, & not at the expense of the MOST important people.
B. Each child & their phone rules, including WHEN/HOW they get one will be dealt w/ fairly but not always "equally" or the same.
- we are betting that the youngest child will get his phone at an earlier age than our middle, because he has a great track record of responsibility & independence since he's been little.
- also, motivations for one sister do not appeal to the other.
- this means that consequences/punishments will be different too.
Lastly- We learned that just like permission to start driving, PARENTS must also teach, prepare their child for (years!) prior to EARNING a personal cellphone.
❤ I'm here to learn! I know I've already picked up good ideas from other posts!
Best one yet! Well done 😂
🎉🎉🎉 I finally got my dose of TRID and Sheena Laughter 🤭. Now I can start my week.
Hey 👋🏼 TRID 😮 i think that you should TAKE AWAY Shenna’s Phone if she kills
Dead Pot Planted 😂😂😂
Blessings,Carlos ✝️🙏❤️😊🇺🇸
TRID is absolutely funny !!
I got my first phone at around 16 and it was one of the (modern) Nokia bricks, I loved it! I shared the number with my mum so it was essentially her phone but I got to take it to school and stuff and even though my classmates had like the IPhone 4 (that was only just released then) I loved my brick. Then until I was around 19 while we upgraded, I was still essentially using my mum's phone.
Then when I went to University that's when I bought my own first phone (Samsung Galaxy S6), I loved my S6 and used it for like 5 yrs then bought my 2nd - S9 and now on my most recent the S23 Ultra.
I think not having a proper smart phone from a really young age that's fully my own was such a blessing because I'm not interested in upgrading my phone every yr when a new one comes out, I look after my phones and use it until I have no other option but to upgrade - I had my S9 for like 5 yrs as well then I had to change it cos the battery was starting to bulge 🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀ so I think I really understood the privilege of being able to have things like that, made me less entitled and more grateful. I'm very thankful this was the process I went through and I'm hoping something similar is what I can do with my kids🙏🏽
They are hysterical!
There are possibilities to give a phone or other devices to your child, but keep them under control with tools like Google family. You can assign specific times for the device to be blocked and run at. You can block the possibility of new apps to be installed and so much more. You can give the phone, but you have to set up a set of rules on when and what is allowed.
Contrary to your popular belief Mr Trid, I am here for the wisdom you bestow upon our minds. Sheena's laughter is the icing on the cake :P. I shall continue to listen to the number 1.756 podcast in Uranus.
I don’t have kids but I do remember that I got a pay as you go phone with no data for my first phone. Age was 17. Didn’t get my first real phone till I was 24
I love his diplomatic talk 😂❤
All fun stuff aside, you two. Actually, not all fun aside, you are both hilarious and so incredibly sweet when it comes to your children! ♥
Buy a book called "THE GIFT of FEAR" by Gavin DeBecker (a former FBI Agent). This book has sold millions of copies and has been incredibly instrumental in teaching many women and girls how to protect themselves, as well as young kiddos and families, from the danger of everyday life.
It will teach you so, so much.
I hope your readers will also look into this, it's so very much worth it! ♥
I bought the book in 1997 and I am so grateful I did, it's been so amazing to have this fantastic instrument of knowledge in my hands since then....
Love you, Sheena & TRID! xoxo ♥
I love Sheenas opinion. Trid, lol you complicate things. Sheena, as a member of the Mom Club, I support everything you say. Trid loves to trip you up.
In the south we sat"Bless your heart"!😂😂
The watch is an excellent happy medium
Finally!! I saw the purse! 👜
watched this today, all electronics go into my wife's offices at night before bed. Her office is right by the stairs, so as I go upstairs to bed I check to make sure I see all the devices in her office.
The purse is beautiful....I was anticipating it
Most devices have parental controls and you can also shut off Internet access to kids for certain times, when mine were younger it was off from 9 pm to 7 am.... Good luck ❤
We use the downtime function on our kids devices. We have them set up so that the only capabilities during downtime hours are to contact us. Punishments include losing time ex: DT starts at 7pm instead of 8pm and depending on severity of behavior- losing the device for a period of time. For reference, we have 3-12yr olds and one is T1D which we manage BS levels with her phone. It’s not perfect but it’s working for us. We used to do -all electronics go on the parents dresser at night by 8pm. It was their responsibility to have them on our dresser.
Good luck!
13:56 so my Teenage sons bring them to my room an hour before bedtime . Bedtime for them is 9:30. So by 8:30 , the devices are in my room . they try to slip through with “oh I forgot “ and they stay with the phones and tablets longer . Honestly the device use was really affecting them . Missing work , finishing and not turning in assignments ! Sleeping in class etc . I just had to put the rule in place and it’s gotten better but I still have to follow up with a text msg like “hey what time is it ? Where are your devices? “
Depending on who you ask, the thing with devices & bedrooms is the fact that each of them is emitting some sort of radiation when communicating with the internet, the phone signal, etc + there's the fact that screens are basically glowing UV lights and it's been proven that too much blue light causes insomnia so ideally you would want to not have it in the bedroom to take a break from all those things but nobody sticks with it nowadays so it comes down to preference, I guess....
My kids are still too young for phones, although my 7 year old has been asking for about two years. My husband says high school, I was thinking middle school. But it will depend on how responsible they are by the time they are teenagers. My oldest loses things a lot, so I think it might take her longer to earn a phone. We have awhile to wait and see.
"I kept the receipt" is something I would say and do. LOL
But further more, in regards to kids with technology, I do not have any experience as the parental figure yet because my daughter is 2 and therefore far too young for a phone, but at least when I was younger, my parents also enforced the no phone's at night rule. However, if it was not in my room, I did end up sneaking it a bit more, and I am not sure why. Maybe it was because it was a defiance thing. But once my parents started allowing my phone in my room, it was less appealing to use it, but that is not how every kid reacts. Usually, they stay up all night and lose sleep lol. Most friwnds i had did try and pull "all nighters" relatively frequently, so I would say it just depends on the kid and how you as a parent would think they would handle it. My parents used grade point averages as well, but I would say an A- is considered an A, especially because some teachers do grade a bit more harshly than others. I think everyone has had a teacher that just refuses to give A's. And some kids struggle in specific subjects and whatnot. But I think that makes perfect sense as a phone rule. Grades are a good reference point to responsibility, and that was reflected through me growing up as well. That might be a great plan is to base it off the grades. Hope any of that helps!😊
Great podcast. TRIDent, how many languages do you speak? I think its a great idea to make his grades come up first. When he accomplishes that, then he can have a phone as long as his grades dont go down. There are alot of apps you can use to block certain things you dont want him accessing. Also, keep phone down stairs at bedtime. Your great parents and im sure this will all go smoothly. Love to you both ❤
The phone topic is interesting because of the podcast I heard yest3rday. The Hidden Brain podcast has am episode titled Escaping The Matrix, and it has some insight into allowing children to jave phones and to be on social media. I'm not sponsored lol.
Love listening to you both, keep having these conversations
It's good to set goals and rewards for reaching the goal. But sometimes you need to recognize and reward when a lot of effort was put into reaching for the goals but coming up short.
I have a 14 year old and I have put ‘Family link’ on my daughter’s phone - which is a parental control. Her phone can only be used by her for two hours ( limit put by me) and used or not used it goes off at 10pm . You can also control which app they get to use for how much time. And they cannot download an app without permission. This can be done on multiple devices. It done on her iPad and phone and laptop.
The purse is beautiful!!!!! The highest I go is Michael Kors or Coach but that’s beautiful!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
After raising 3 sons, my husband and I had the following rules.
1. Starts with he and I
a.) Say what we mean, mean what we say.
b.) Follow through. PERIOD
c.) Be and stay on the same page with each other. NEVER contradict each other. Even if you dont agree, talk about it away from your kids. Teenagers catch this and will play and prey on it.
d.) Allowed them to have a voice. If they did not agree with a punishment, they were able to share what and why
e.) Respect them as little humans and explain why your answer is no.
Rules for them
1.) Good grades, always
2.) Manners and respect
3.) Honesty
4.) Chores done on time
5.) 2 hours of TV per week
6.) They could not have a phone until 9th grade
However, smartphones were not an issue.. the "in" phone was The Razor. Lol
My favourite saying/insult is German: Hirn vom Himmel! (Brains from the sky!) It's a short form of a phrase that has evolved quite a bit. It's used when talking to or about an idiot or someone doing something dumb.
Herr, wirf/schmeisst Hirn vom Himmel! Lord, throw brains from Heaven!
...oder Steine, Hauptsache er trifft. ...or stones, as long as they hit the mark.
Further evolution:
An dem Tag, an dem der Herr tatsächlich mal Hirn vom Himmel wirft, werden wir alle staunen, wie gelenkig die Doofen beim Wegducken sind. This translates to:
On the day the Lord actually throws brains from Heaven, we'll all be stunned by the agility of stupid people ducking out of the way.
Neither German or English is my first language, so apologies where necessary:)
To answer Trid's question: An A- is an A. An A is an A. An A+ is an A. The plus, minus, and lack of a symbol suffix indicate where within that letter grade you are without giving the number itself. 90-93 was an A- when I was in school. 94-96 was an A. And 97-100 was an A+. The number range for the grades has changed since I was a kid.
But, to Sheena's and Trid's point: Until they no longer live with you OR they are no longer minors, they abide by whatever rules you set down in the house. The level of difficulty is determined ONLY by compliance to the existing rules. If you're following the rules (as a kid), you will find it easy. The more rules you break, the more rules you gain and must have to follow.
And, lastly, Trid is right for a separate reason: If you set a rule for one of your kids, both must follow it. If you set it for one but not the other, you're demonstrating favoritism and double standards. If Jae has to wait until 13, the daughter should as well. Otherwise, what you've said is your rules are arbitrary and compliance can (and likely will) be equally arbitrary.
Okay, so in answering to the questions, one for inaults or curses in another language that do not have the same impact in American English: être con comme un balais which is french
It means: "to be dumb as a brush."😂
Dumb as a broom? 😉
TRID'S FINGER
For your sons phone there are apps that parents can download where they can control the usage etc. you can see what they are currently on and parents have the ability to shut it down.
my younger sister is also 9 yrs old like Zara. They both have the same personality. I live in New Hampshire, Y'all live in Boston
Stellar parenting 👏🏾 🙌🏾 👌🏿
Screen time limits (per app and device wide) on devices. I have a 13 year old and the device locks at 9:00 PM til 7 AM. Some apps are only available for an hour a day. And it’s also set so that when screen time is up I am the only person that can be contacted during that time.
We also had arguments about whose phone it was for my eldest kids when they got there’s. We told them we control the phone and it’s our gone until they were old enough to have a job that they could pay for the monthly bill themselves. Until then we fund the phone so we control the phone.
In Malaysia, we speak Malay. One of the most popular curse word is "mak kau hijau" which literally means "your mother is green" 😭😭😭 it's used all the time it makes no sense 😭
When they can pay . BUT , your house your rules .😂😂😂😂😂😂
I didn't get a phone until I was at university! And to this day I still don't use it outside!
In yoruba (a native Nigerian language), we say 'Oniranu' but it translates as 'the one that owns nonsense ' 😂. It doesn't hit at all 😂
Not having raised a child, I have nothing to offer from personal experience.
From seeing what other families do, a designated place in the living room - individual wicker baskets where the devices are placed before bedtime had worked for them to create specific structure, even to the point of the parents doing the same thing. Just a thought.
My kids always have the their devices with them in their own rooms but their responsibilities have always come first, includes school, waking up on time, assignments completed, school is the #1 priority. Make sure their own laundry is always done. They have responsibilities and so far I dont have complaints.
My daughter was so maddd when her little brother, 2 years younger, got a phone at christmas. She was so upset 😅😅
I remember going to school back in 2000 and my teacher if you have an F you don’t go to recess with your friends . You have lunch with the teacher in the classroom and make up the work until all work is turned in and done correctly smh 🤦🏻♀️ I Learned my lesson. I spend 2 weeks making it up. My mom was and honor roll student so therefore if nothing was a 100 it was unacceptable. Before I start first grade I memorized all my multiplication table up to 15. And I didn’t even have a phone until til I got a job and bought my own phone. I mean I had an iPod touch and after 8pm she cut the internet off 🤣😭😭😭 So we couldn’t do nothing anyways. Looking back im thankful.
As a dad i wanna teach my dau to be responsible (responsibility training) . At 13 i gave her a phone.. The deal was i know her password and my fingerprint is also in the phone so i can check the phone if needed . Would recommend parents to install FAMILY LINK from google on the phone so u can manage how long they can access the phone in a day and access hours, type of apps they can download or use, even track their location.
My dau is 15 now and am glad to say that it all worked out well. By initially controlling their access it helps them to manage their time and creates a discipline... Am glad i did this FYI at 13 she only had 3 hours of phone usage daily restricted by the App.. Today at 15 i have given her unlimited usage.. But still no social media
My husband watched the phone bill. Back in the day the bill came with a printout of each call and text. One bill showed so many texts during class time. Text to people she was going to see during passing time and lunchtime.
After the “talk” about the importance of being focused in class and this texting was unacceptable she lost her phone privileges after school, every day until the next phone bill.
Fortunately, for my girl, she was a quick learner and did not like being in trouble.
This punishment never happened again
My daughter got a phone around that age but I put parental restrictions on her phone there’s so many that can be adjusted to school & sleep times also, she wasn’t able to get any apps without my approval, I could look at anything on her phone at any time, she wasn’t allowed to have a password I didn’t know about & still to this day we talk about internet safety a lot & openly.. she’s now 21. She’s now still very responsible with her phone, and I still have her password
As a GenZ from a neglected household, this is how I wish things were with mobile phone. I bought one once I got a job, I had used my mother's phone and since I didn't understand how not to defend myself from creeps, it allowed a lot of harassment which I couldn't share with anyone at the time. Stay friendly and communicative of who they chat with, if possible, bond with their friends too. This might prevent them from falling into trouble and feeling scared to tell you or taking part in making others feel unsafe. I wish I was given a phone and encouraged to use it in a productive way and not judged by my own family, would've saved a lot of trauma =)
We have a “insult” in Norway where we say: Din Nisse!
Which is a creature that cannot be directly translated but it’s close to an elf or a little gnome.
Which mostly means u have been mischievous or naughty sometimes even evil😆
And we (Norwegians) call Santa Claus "Julenissen", which means that Santa might be some kind of Nisse, hehe. I think calling someone Nisse as an insult is similar to saying "you silly person". :P A kind of playful insult.
We need more singing outros duets
I totally agree with Trid, we need both sides….
What is the Sydney’s version? It drives me nuts when someone brings something up, but says nvm and I’m left wondering what they were going to say.
No screened media ... one time I took everything with a screen away for a significant amount of time. After that all I had to say was "screened media" as a warning and he knew I was serious so behavior changed.
My daughter kept her phone ringer off and never answered my calls. It would freakme out when she didn’t answer. So only rule I had was that as long as I pay the bill, my calls had to always be answered. You don’t answer I’ll come looking for you and I don’t care where you are or who you’re with I’ll come looking for you so I can take back the phone.
If you think phone rules are hard, wait til they begin driving. We surprised my daughter with her 1st car, which came with 5/6 rules, which she agreed to of course. My favourite rule - Handle you, your passengers and the car with care as rules can and will be updated with little/minimal notice.
In other words would my parents approve, agree, have issues etc? if the answer is no then don’t do it!
I live in Ireland and a Muppet is an insult because of the muppets show - it was a childrens TV show where they sang songs and had loads of different characters. Its actually an American show but was very popular over here and all our age group watched it so we started calling people muppets in school when they were being idiotic
This show is amazing!