I think a good rule to use with appearance is that if the person can fix it in the next 2 minutes (maybe if they have food in their teeth) you can tell them if it's appropriate to do so. If not, maybe if it's about there outfit, weight, eyebrows, it's probably best to keep it to yourself. :)
+CranberryJam Why? Telling them they look bad in something when they can't immediately change it does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. If it's a friend asking how they look, then yes, be honest. But if they don't ask, keep your opinion to yourself.
That's definitely my policy, OC. Of course, I try to say it in the nicest way possible and very quietly just to let them know, but i feel like you should tell someone if they can fix it quickly.
A lesson I try and live by is 'The thing you think first is what you have been conditioned to think, but what you think after is what you truly believe.'
yes!! my mum does this all the time, comments on the appearance of others in a critical way. not that i never do it, but i make a conscious effort not to and it's so frustrating to see her do that because i know that my mum is a genuinely kind, supportive person and so her doing that doesn't reflect her personality, and just makes her sound mean and negative. but she's gotten into the habit of doing it and now whenever i ask her to stop she laughs it off. it's not a constant thing, but enough to bother me. so i completely agree carrie.
You know what? Today I didn't buy the shoes I wanted because they had Mickeys on them and I thought people would judge me. But tomorrow I.ll get them, because I love them! Thanks Carrie!
as long as you love them(the shoes)and they bring YOU joy then who cares what others think. my fave shoes(well boots)were animal print doc Martin boots I put them with everything even if they clashed they made me happy. the head master at my children's school wanted a pair too.unfortunately my son stood on the back and the heel ripped off them (Rip happy boots)I now have a few pairs of rhinestone studded shoes that make me happy .one in black and one in red just like the ruby slippers from the wizard of Oz . By the way Carrie I love the beauty and the beast dress you had on it is awesome.
I totally agree, why say something that you know could ruin someone's day and anxious about their appearance meeting the standards of others than their own personal standards?
Oh I LOVE this Carrie! I'm 28, and yet someone I know who is a lot older than me feels the need to constantly tell me that my clothing choices aren't flattering, that I wear too much floral, and that I'm too old to wear TV/Geeky tshirts, and that I couldnt possibly wear a floral dress with combat boots because that's ridiculous and I should be wearing heels. No. My clothing makes me happy, and it's totally okay if others don't like it - but they don't need to tell me about it! *high five*
These are the type of videos I think I love most - just straight off the top of your head, unscripted, speaking about whatever you're passionate about :)
You have a beautiful mind Carrie, you're incredibly inspiring and I genuinely could not agree more with you here. I've done the "why did they pick that dress?!" thing too, until, as you say, it hits you that THEY liked it and my opinion will not change their feelings on it. Everyone should be able to be themselves, it's crucial.
This is so true! I find myself thinking all the time "Why is she wearing that?" "What happened with her eyeshadow today?" Why?? Why do I find the need to criticize someone else? I don't think it makes me feel any better, and I'm sure if I told them, it wouldn't make them feel good. So there is really no point. I'm definitely going to make a conscious effort from here on out to not focus on the negative and just let people be themselves!
I did this exact thing (mentally) last night when I was walking behind someone, and I immediately hated myself afterward. We can be so harsh to others and ourselves. We care too much about things that don't matter!
Good points. I would say the one exception is when your problem with how someone looks has nothing to do with how it makes YOU feel, but simply that you love them and want them to be their best and this isn't that. Like for instance, a dear friend talks fairly often about how she doesn't like her wide hips...but then she wears mom jeans. I and other friends think she would be a lot happier with her appearance if she wore more flattering pants, so we've talked to her about it. And I appreciate when the shop clerk at my favorite consignment boutique tells me "that doesn't look good on you." Also, the 2-minute rule someone else mentioned seems like a good one! Also, I've never noticed your eyebrows, but they look good! I think I spend a total of 30 minutes on my eyebrows...in an entire year. And that's being generous. Hey, the Cara Delevigne look is in right now!
As my mom says, "if you do not have anything nice to say, then do not say anything at all." And in this situation / video, it works! And I quite agree with it and you, Carrie, that we all judge each other because of what we wear, what we look like, what kinds of books, clothes and other things that we like to buy and other things! You should work on yourself and not worry about what other people think. And also do not criticize what other people are doing, just worry about what you're doing with your life!
+Madhattersteeparty YES! This girl at the mall today was wearing bright orange tights and a floral dress, and I looked and thought it was unique and cute and "wow, she must have the best personality" but my mom noticed me looking and immediately made a nasty comment about her clothes and I'm like "WHY????" I just don't get it. It's sad. )=
+Gabriella Noelle It just makes it even worse when it's your parents doing it though don't you think? because it's not like you can say or do anything about it, you can't tell them off haha
This video is exactly what people in the world, especially those on the Internet, need to hear. Thank you for making it, and good luck on the show you're getting ready for (even though is already passed) xxx
This wasn't my quote but I saw this somewhere and I feel like it really applies to how you said you judge someone and then are mad at yourself: "the first thought that comes into your head is the one you have been conditioned to think. The second defines who you are"
I really, really, REALLY like this video. I like the content, I like the style. I like just sitting down and having an honest lil chat while you do your makeup!
I like the fact you include yourself in what you think. Instead of saying others need to change, but you say we need to change, and admit to what you have found yourself doing! I really enjoy your videos and can't wait for more!
I wish I had had someone like you in my life when I was in my teens and 20's. I've binged watched your vlog for the last two days...and I think you are lovely. Thank you for bringing a smile into the world.
Oh wow. This video actually made me teary. You spoke the words that I needed to hear. Last year when I met up with my best friend, the first words she spoke to me were, "did you get dressed in the dark?" and it ruined the entire day. I felt so self-conscious. I now stress whenever we meet up because what if she doesn't like what I'm wearing?! And it's just so unnecessary. So thank you. I'm going to try and have more confidence and just wear what I wanna wear. Also, I always really liked your eyebrows.
I actually am in love with your eyebrows! Last year I tried to copy them, though it went terribly terribly wrong considering mine are a whole different shape. Basically plucked half them off regrettably
Amen, Carrie! When I found myself making these sorts of judgements, even though I would never voice them, I just didn't like the fact that I was making those judgements at all. So now, whenever I find myself thinking an unkind thought about someone's appearance, I stop myself and look for something that I find beautiful about them, instead. This practice not only helps me shape a kinder mind, but it also makes me feel better about *myself* (which is a lovely result that I never expected)! Knowing that I am doing my best to be a good person inside AND out gives me a wonderful boost of pride in my heart and my actions.
My eyebrows are a mess and I still think I look good with them because they are mine and I love how they protect my eyes from my sweat xD Carrie, you're beautiful inside out! You are one the few RUclipsrs that have been constant and true to themselves always and I love that
Loving the stop motion stamp thing you're doing... Also how you did the vid conversationally, casually doing your makeup, while talking about appearance. Definitely noticing the new stylistic choices you're making with your vids. Love it. Keep it up!
My mum always taught me "your first thought is what society taught you to think, your second defines who you really are" so- where you say here you judge people wearing the dress etc that's just because arguably we've been bought up in a society here we are customed to scrutinize and criticize others for their appearances. But by your second thought being you telling yourself off for it- that shows what kind of a person you are which is a good and honest person.
Yes! I agree completely! Wear what you want to wear, do what you want to your face and hair. And let other people do the same. I've always been good at not judging others on the way they look. But it took me some time and some thinking to not be self conscious in public about my own looks. However, it's entirely possible and it's so freeing once you stop worrying about other people's opinion.
I just LOVE this video!! I love the fact that we get to see you put on makeup, but also that you talk about something so real that I never even thought of! You are amazing, Carrie. Truly! ❤️
I wish people wouldn't say 'you have bad eyebrows' because you're such a inspirational beautiful woman, who has been like an 'Internet mum' to me (you have taught me so much). Nobody should care about something so small like eyebrows and just have fun xx
I feel this way sometimes, even with compliments. When I see someone I find beautiful, the fact that I feel that way will be running through my mind, but I won't say anything. You never know how a compliment will go.
I love that you're doing this video while getting ready, it just feels like a cooler older sister giving you advice between foundation and mascara applications XD
So much respect for you Carrie, that's a great way to look at it. Most of us are guilty and I think it's good to stop for a minute and be aware of what we say about others. I like how you bring up topics as such that are not normally talked about. I think the more a person feels comfortable in their own skin, the more they will appreciate others as they are, it's a very valuable thing to have. I love how you are genuinely honest and kind, it inspires me. Best wishes :) x
I agree completely with the fact that shouldn't comment on how other people look however you shouldn't become fixated on the way you look yourself. Often, you are harsher to yourself than others!
People have nothing better to do then to judge the littlest things about other people. You say the truth as you always do. Us girls do our hair and make up for ourselves but society assumes it's just for attention. This is something one learnt especially at uni. To basically not care too much about what others think about me and just me happy with the way I am. Thanks for being inspiring as always Carrie. Hope Chitty is going well x
I love how chatty and casual this video is; such a good way to present such a good point! I am a big culprit of criticising and you've really made me think twice now! Thank you!
Amen. I have stopped myself on many occasions and said to myself is this going to prevent me from going about my day, umm NO. I have learned to focus on things that matter and it's just telling yourself repeatedly that someone else is not your business.
I used to be very guilty of this, mostly, I suppose, because I used to hate my own non-existent style. But I've been working really hard on myself to change that behaviour and I've gotten a lot better at not caring or even thinking "Wow, I would never wear this, but this person is pulling it off and looks confident and happy, so kudos to them." It takes some conscious effort, but at the the end of the day it leaves everyone feeling better, including yourself :)
I'm so happy you made a video about this. Everyone's image of beauty is different, and that's not a bad thing, but that doesn't mean we get to belittle people for not fitting into our little beauty box. Ps your eyebrows are gorg xxx
I completely agree, I was watching a youtube video yesterday with a woman's child applying her makeup, it was the cutest video but she was asking her 3 year old daughter while she was doing her makeup: "Does mummy look pretty now?". I think it sends a really bad message to the child that without makeup, mummy doesn't look pretty, especially because when she was done, she said "Aw you made mummy beautiful". This to me is the same as when people feel like they have to apologise for being make-up free. Wear makeup if you like, not because you have to. I've been often shamed in professional settings for not wearing enough makeup for work, and I find it ridiculous that they deem me 'not presentable' for not wearing makeup yet they never make that same comment when it comes to men. Men never wear makeup yet somehow manage to be presentable. What makes it more ironic, is that my job is a body confidence coach and the times I have been shamed publicly have been by teachers and fellow speakers before I go on stage public-speaking PS my new years resolution was to be more selfish this year and how I defined that was only doing what I made me happy or got me on the way to being happy, and also not justifying my 'no'
when I watched Pixiwoo's vid I thought the exact same, asking her daughter if she's pretty yet and the 3 yrold saying no was really uncomfortable to watch.
you are so right with the eyebrow thing. I've had it with my nose since I was 12, people constantly felt the need to tell me mine was ugly/big. I'm happy you don't care that much about my eyebrows but I've been extremely self conscious about my nose since then, and I still feel uncomfortable when people look at me from the side xx
I REALLY needed to hear this today after being criticized for the way I look by some of the people I trust most! I love your videos and your eyebrows. Thank you for always being so positive!
Oh my gosh! I remember my friends being in an argument a few months ago and I said to them 'spread the love like Nutella on toast' and this video also put my mind off of tomorrow which has had me stressed, so thanks!
You are absolutely right! We are all guilty about having these thoughts. We all judge one and other. I think the same thing could apply to the shape of bodies. People don't need to comment on that either. While I don't believe we'll ever stop thinking these negative things about other people, I do believe it's one thing if we keep them to ourselves instead of out right saying them...especially to the person it's about. That's just hurtful. There's the saying: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't day anything at all. We should probably all remember that more often. ❤️
I like the fact that you bring up that we all have our negative opinions and initial judgments of people and that's okay. What's not okay is voicing those opinions and judgments because you'll only result in hurting that other person. Having an opinion is fine, but in certain cases, you just shouldn't voice negative ones, especially if it's in regards to another person's appearance because you never know how self conscious that person already is. In the end, it's like you said. We need to be more focused on ourselves rather than other people.
thank you for making this! whenever I feel bad or anxious about myself I just always watch your videos. you inspire me and you never fail to make me feel better about the way I am. love you x
I feel you on the eyebrows thing. People have criticised mine because I don't do anything with them, even though I've got dark and full eyebrows so it's not like I need to fill them in. Like, why can I be bothered to pluck em all out just to draw them on again? Surely how I have them is the most natural and best way? but then that's going into a whole other debate....
Agree wholeheartedly with this - I personally try to live by the idea that if you have nothing nice to say then just don't say anything, and what you say here fits in nicely with that! There's enough negativity in the world as it is, why add to it by criticising something that has nothing to do with you?
As a person who is constantly worrying about what other people would think of her, but also constantly commenting (in her own head) on other people's outfit or look, I should definitely learn how to be more selfish. Just wear what I like without worrying about other people and just let other people do the same thing. If everybody would look the same, it would be a very boring world... Hope everybody has a wonderful night or day wherever you are
Hey Carrie, I don't usually comment on videos, but I feel like I must say that this video hits close home to me, 'cause I've grown with loads of people who would judge anyone at anytime, so I used to think that was ok, but since I've moved out of that bubble I used to live in, I force myself to think positive about the world in general, so I play a game in my mind where anytime I see someone wearing something I don't find charming I challenge myself to find a beautiful trait about that person to ignore my bad thought! Wow, this is such a long comment, I'm sorry, but I just wanted to share... love your vids :)
Reasons like these is why I love your videos so much. Thank you for sharing your opinion/advice! I hope you inspire more people the way you've inspired me when I stumbled upon your channel 💕
That's exactly how I felt for quite some time now... I also think that you shouldn't judge people like that because you don't want others to judge you, I mean at the end of the day we just wanna be accepted the way we are and we can't expect to be accepted if we don't accept others
love the message of this video so much. i'm guilty of judging people's appearance and then right afterwards i always feel so bad because i know it's wrong. when i told my mom this, she told me that your first thought about someone is based on what you've been conditioned to think and the second thought is how you really feel and your morals. thanks for making videos, carrie 💖 they always brighten my day! (p.s i love your disney dress where is it from ??) xx
Two years ago I told a girl at school that her leggings looked like the pattern on my sofa (which isn't the most wonderful pattern in the world) and I haven't seen her wear them since. I still feel awful about it and I don't think I've ever made a comment to anyone about their outfit since unless it was positive, whether it was to their face or not, or about someone I do or don't know personally.
I LOVE this video Carrie! You are so right. And for the record, I have never even had a single thought about your eyebrows! Your most notable features to me are your curls and your beautiful brown eyes! :) xxx
I think people tend to comment more when it's celebrities etc as they're detached from that situation so it has less direct implications. I can't imagine anyone walking down the street and criticising someone else (and I hope they don't!), I'm always far too occupied with whatever I'm doing!
+shannonheartsx But what makes it okay to say nasty things about celebrities, even if it's not direct? :S It's the equivalent of talking badly about someone behind their back. xxx
+ItsWayPastMyBedTime Oh nothing makes it okay! With people we don't personally know, I think its a mindless habit that people revert to, underpinned by many cognitive reasons (coming from a psychological perspective), so we end up exercising less control in our judgements of them unfortunately! I definitely agree with your message though, we should all try to avoid making such comments when we can! xx
Wow Carrie you always inspire me to be a better person! I love that you're spreading positivity on the internet where there is so much hate and criticism! It so refreshing to hear these things from someone with a following these days 💓
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this! I've been lately trying to do this myself and it has proved to be one of the greatest things, I'm not commenting on the choices other people make. I mean, if I want to wear a sweater with a giant bear with glasses, why not? Who cares! I'm happy and if the other person doesn't like it I. DO. NOT. CARE.
I just wanted to let you know, Carrie, that I loved everything about this video! I honestly was distracted slightly by what you were saying because of how you had the camera set up, simply because I loved it so much! I enjoyed that you filmed yourself in the mirror while putting your your makeup. I loved how you set up the camera angle. I think your camera angle is my favorite thing from all of today! You also made a very good point, we should just care about ourselves and not others. Silly comment, but I couldn't help myself. :)
It always saddens me that for some reason my natural instinct is to judge someone like that but it does make me feel better that I'm also conditioned to remember that the way someone dresses for example makes no difference to me and if that person is happy then so am I!
this is so so true. i dress in guys clothes a lot because its comfortable and i've always been a bit of a tomboy but i don't care! i've got dressed some mornings and said to myself 'what if people think I'm ugly? what if people think I'm genuinely a guy?' but i'm comfy and i can't be bothered to try to keep up with fashion trends. some days i want to be girly, others i want to be a total tomboy, others i want to go out with no make up on and my hair up because I'm just popping to tesco to get my dinner, other days i really want to make an effort with my appearance! once you stop focussing on what other people think of you and start thinking about what makes you happy, your life improves drastically!
omgg carrie i understand you!!! i used to have really big and dark eyebrows and i'm really blonde so people said they looked weird. i started to do them and it turned pretty bad because now i have bald spots and one of them is bigger than the other one! it's so frustrating because i liked them just the way they were back when i was younger!!!! i'm pretty obsessed with my eyebrows because i think it's an important part of my face but no matter what i do they still look bad and odd... so don't worry. your eyebrows are just fine! ps: i'm sorry if i made any mistake i'm spanish so english is not my first language
you shouldn't change the way you are because you are worried about what others will think of you xxx thanks carrie love you xxx 😘 😘 😘 I love how you speak your mind and I feel more people should do this xxx
i feel the need to come with my opinion, i dont know why, i just feel the need to tell you that you are beautiful, not just your look but your personality, i am aware that i dont know you in person, but..you always make me feel good, i always find you inspiring and i really listen to you..thank you for sharing, thank you for making these videoes :) and yes im kinda late, but i had a whole lot of videoes to catch up on, and a life to live :D
IT TOOK ME 2 MINUTES OF THIS VIDEO TO REALIZE YOUR DRESS IS BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. I need it badly. Amazing video tho, I'm trying to get in the habit of stopping myself mid mean thought, because if I knew someone walking past me was judging me for my dress I'd make me feel kinda shitty, so why think it about someone else?
I absolutely hate it when people mask their brutal and cruel honesty as "I'm just being real" and use it as an excuse to say whatever they like about someone else, as if that makes it okay that they're making that person feel like crap. (Also, your brows are totally fine and you rock them!)
![Being ‘the disabled one’ in university [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XPtJJRXr9cw/mqdefault.jpg)
I think a good rule to use with appearance is that if the person can fix it in the next 2 minutes (maybe if they have food in their teeth) you can tell them if it's appropriate to do so. If not, maybe if it's about there outfit, weight, eyebrows, it's probably best to keep it to yourself. :)
Definitely
that is a great rule xx
+CranberryJam Why? Telling them they look bad in something when they can't immediately change it does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. If it's a friend asking how they look, then yes, be honest. But if they don't ask, keep your opinion to yourself.
That's definitely my policy, OC. Of course, I try to say it in the nicest way possible and very quietly just to let them know, but i feel like you should tell someone if they can fix it quickly.
A lesson I try and live by is 'The thing you think first is what you have been conditioned to think, but what you think after is what you truly believe.'
"Spread love like Nutella."
I love that! That needs to be a on T-Shirt! :D
yes!! my mum does this all the time, comments on the appearance of others in a critical way. not that i never do it, but i make a conscious effort not to and it's so frustrating to see her do that because i know that my mum is a genuinely kind, supportive person and so her doing that doesn't reflect her personality, and just makes her sound mean and negative. but she's gotten into the habit of doing it and now whenever i ask her to stop she laughs it off. it's not a constant thing, but enough to bother me. so i completely agree carrie.
my mum does the same thing. it's really frustrating :(
ughhhhh same my mum does this too
You know what? Today I didn't buy the shoes I wanted because they had Mickeys on them and I thought people would judge me. But tomorrow I.ll get them, because I love them! Thanks Carrie!
I'm sure those shoes are awsome!!! 😍
I WANT mikey shoes too! if has mikeys on them for sure are beautiful
You go girl!
as long as you love them(the shoes)and they bring YOU joy then who cares what others think. my fave shoes(well boots)were animal print doc Martin boots I put them with everything even if they clashed they made me happy. the head master at my children's school wanted a pair too.unfortunately my son stood on the back and the heel ripped off them (Rip happy boots)I now have a few pairs of rhinestone studded shoes that make me happy .one in black and one in red just like the ruby slippers from the wizard of Oz . By the way Carrie I love the beauty and the beast dress you had on it is awesome.
+The girl of the songs go for the shoes I love Disney and I don't care what people think about me loving Disney🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐾🐾🐾🌹🌹🌹🌹
I totally agree, why say something that you know could ruin someone's day and anxious about their appearance meeting the standards of others than their own personal standards?
I love the way you framed this. It was nice to sit with you getting ready too :D
I thought the same :) Kinda like just chatting with a friend... who lives thousands of miles away, LOL
Oh I LOVE this Carrie! I'm 28, and yet someone I know who is a lot older than me feels the need to constantly tell me that my clothing choices aren't flattering, that I wear too much floral, and that I'm too old to wear TV/Geeky tshirts, and that I couldnt possibly wear a floral dress with combat boots because that's ridiculous and I should be wearing heels. No. My clothing makes me happy, and it's totally okay if others don't like it - but they don't need to tell me about it!
*high five*
These are the type of videos I think I love most - just straight off the top of your head, unscripted, speaking about whatever you're passionate about :)
You have a beautiful mind Carrie, you're incredibly inspiring and I genuinely could not agree more with you here. I've done the "why did they pick that dress?!" thing too, until, as you say, it hits you that THEY liked it and my opinion will not change their feelings on it. Everyone should be able to be themselves, it's crucial.
This is so true! I find myself thinking all the time "Why is she wearing that?" "What happened with her eyeshadow today?" Why?? Why do I find the need to criticize someone else? I don't think it makes me feel any better, and I'm sure if I told them, it wouldn't make them feel good. So there is really no point. I'm definitely going to make a conscious effort from here on out to not focus on the negative and just let people be themselves!
I did this exact thing (mentally) last night when I was walking behind someone, and I immediately hated myself afterward. We can be so harsh to others and ourselves. We care too much about things that don't matter!
Good points. I would say the one exception is when your problem with how someone looks has nothing to do with how it makes YOU feel, but simply that you love them and want them to be their best and this isn't that. Like for instance, a dear friend talks fairly often about how she doesn't like her wide hips...but then she wears mom jeans. I and other friends think she would be a lot happier with her appearance if she wore more flattering pants, so we've talked to her about it. And I appreciate when the shop clerk at my favorite consignment boutique tells me "that doesn't look good on you."
Also, the 2-minute rule someone else mentioned seems like a good one!
Also, I've never noticed your eyebrows, but they look good! I think I spend a total of 30 minutes on my eyebrows...in an entire year. And that's being generous. Hey, the Cara Delevigne look is in right now!
As my mom says, "if you do not have anything nice to say, then do not say anything at all." And in this situation / video, it works! And I quite agree with it and you, Carrie, that we all judge each other because of what we wear, what we look like, what kinds of books, clothes and other things that we like to buy and other things! You should work on yourself and not worry about what other people think. And also do not criticize what other people are doing, just worry about what you're doing with your life!
I hate it so much when my parents do that, I don't even notice the bad things and I don't understand why they do :/
+Madhattersteeparty YES! This girl at the mall today was wearing bright orange tights and a floral dress, and I looked and thought it was unique and cute and "wow, she must have the best personality" but my mom noticed me looking and immediately made a nasty comment about her clothes and I'm like "WHY????" I just don't get it. It's sad. )=
+Gabriella Noelle It just makes it even worse when it's your parents doing it though don't you think? because it's not like you can say or do anything about it, you can't tell them off haha
This video is exactly what people in the world, especially those on the Internet, need to hear. Thank you for making it, and good luck on the show you're getting ready for (even though is already passed) xxx
EVERYSINGLE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD SHOULD WATCH THIS
This wasn't my quote but I saw this somewhere and I feel like it really applies to how you said you judge someone and then are mad at yourself: "the first thought that comes into your head is the one you have been conditioned to think. The second defines who you are"
I love the vibe in this video, carrie! preach! xx
Same!
'go and date yourself' - a rough quote from a wonderful book called All I Know Now (rough bc I don't know if that is the exact quote) 😏
I really, really, REALLY like this video. I like the content, I like the style. I like just sitting down and having an honest lil chat while you do your makeup!
I like the fact you include yourself in what you think. Instead of saying others need to change, but you say we need to change, and admit to what you have found yourself doing!
I really enjoy your videos and can't wait for more!
I wish I had had someone like you in my life when I was in my teens and 20's. I've binged watched your vlog for the last two days...and I think you are lovely. Thank you for bringing a smile into the world.
Oh wow. This video actually made me teary. You spoke the words that I needed to hear. Last year when I met up with my best friend, the first words she spoke to me were, "did you get dressed in the dark?" and it ruined the entire day. I felt so self-conscious. I now stress whenever we meet up because what if she doesn't like what I'm wearing?! And it's just so unnecessary. So thank you. I'm going to try and have more confidence and just wear what I wanna wear.
Also, I always really liked your eyebrows.
I actually am in love with your eyebrows! Last year I tried to copy them, though it went terribly terribly wrong considering mine are a whole different shape. Basically plucked half them off regrettably
Amen, Carrie!
When I found myself making these sorts of judgements, even though I would never voice them, I just didn't like the fact that I was making those judgements at all.
So now, whenever I find myself thinking an unkind thought about someone's appearance, I stop myself and look for something that I find beautiful about them, instead.
This practice not only helps me shape a kinder mind, but it also makes me feel better about *myself* (which is a lovely result that I never expected)! Knowing that I am doing my best to be a good person inside AND out gives me a wonderful boost of pride in my heart and my actions.
My eyebrows are a mess and I still think I look good with them because they are mine and I love how they protect my eyes from my sweat xD Carrie, you're beautiful inside out! You are one the few RUclipsrs that have been constant and true to themselves always and I love that
I Love the constant cutting to different parts of make up applying. Found it quite delightful really. Was very soothing....
Loving the stop motion stamp thing you're doing... Also how you did the vid conversationally, casually doing your makeup, while talking about appearance. Definitely noticing the new stylistic choices you're making with your vids. Love it. Keep it up!
My mum always taught me "your first thought is what society taught you to think, your second defines who you really are" so- where you say here you judge people wearing the dress etc that's just because arguably we've been bought up in a society here we are customed to scrutinize and criticize others for their appearances. But by your second thought being you telling yourself off for it- that shows what kind of a person you are which is a good and honest person.
Yes! I agree completely! Wear what you want to wear, do what you want to your face and hair. And let other people do the same.
I've always been good at not judging others on the way they look. But it took me some time and some thinking to not be self conscious in public about my own looks. However, it's entirely possible and it's so freeing once you stop worrying about other people's opinion.
Can I just say thank you! This is the love the world needs to be reminded of
1) I've never even noticed your eyebrows (they're just eyebrows) 😂
and
2) That 'today I look like this' drawing is gorgeous! ❤
I just LOVE this video!! I love the fact that we get to see you put on makeup, but also that you talk about something so real that I never even thought of! You are amazing, Carrie. Truly! ❤️
I wish people wouldn't say 'you have bad eyebrows' because you're such a inspirational beautiful woman, who has been like an 'Internet mum' to me (you have taught me so much). Nobody should care about something so small like eyebrows and just have fun xx
I feel this way sometimes, even with compliments. When I see someone I find beautiful, the fact that I feel that way will be running through my mind, but I won't say anything. You never know how a compliment will go.
Carrie, this is why we love you. You're one very beautiful human being ❤️
I love that you're doing this video while getting ready, it just feels like a cooler older sister giving you advice between foundation and mascara applications XD
So much respect for you Carrie, that's a great way to look at it. Most of us are guilty and I think it's good to stop for a minute and be aware of what we say about others. I like how you bring up topics as such that are not normally talked about. I think the more a person feels comfortable in their own skin, the more they will appreciate others as they are, it's a very valuable thing to have. I love how you are genuinely honest and kind, it inspires me. Best wishes :) x
I agree completely with the fact that shouldn't comment on how other people look however you shouldn't become fixated on the way you look yourself. Often, you are harsher to yourself than others!
Totally agree with this. I've never understood the need to share negative opinions. Great video x
People have nothing better to do then to judge the littlest things about other people. You say the truth as you always do. Us girls do our hair and make up for ourselves but society assumes it's just for attention. This is something one learnt especially at uni. To basically not care too much about what others think about me and just me happy with the way I am. Thanks for being inspiring as always Carrie. Hope Chitty is going well x
I love how chatty and casual this video is; such a good way to present such a good point! I am a big culprit of criticising and you've really made me think twice now! Thank you!
Amen. I have stopped myself on many occasions and said to myself is this going to prevent me from going about my day, umm NO. I have learned to focus on things that matter and it's just telling yourself repeatedly that someone else is not your business.
I used to be very guilty of this, mostly, I suppose, because I used to hate my own non-existent style. But I've been working really hard on myself to change that behaviour and I've gotten a lot better at not caring or even thinking "Wow, I would never wear this, but this person is pulling it off and looks confident and happy, so kudos to them." It takes some conscious effort, but at the the end of the day it leaves everyone feeling better, including yourself :)
Thank you for being such a positive influence and teaching people that no one should be judged by their appearance :)
I'm so happy you made a video about this. Everyone's image of beauty is different, and that's not a bad thing, but that doesn't mean we get to belittle people for not fitting into our little beauty box. Ps your eyebrows are gorg xxx
I swear all of your videos just put me in a better mood Carrie and they always make me feel just a little bit better about myself so thank you x
I completely agree, I was watching a youtube video yesterday with a woman's child applying her makeup, it was the cutest video but she was asking her 3 year old daughter while she was doing her makeup: "Does mummy look pretty now?". I think it sends a really bad message to the child that without makeup, mummy doesn't look pretty, especially because when she was done, she said "Aw you made mummy beautiful". This to me is the same as when people feel like they have to apologise for being make-up free. Wear makeup if you like, not because you have to. I've been often shamed in professional settings for not wearing enough makeup for work, and I find it ridiculous that they deem me 'not presentable' for not wearing makeup yet they never make that same comment when it comes to men. Men never wear makeup yet somehow manage to be presentable. What makes it more ironic, is that my job is a body confidence coach and the times I have been shamed publicly have been by teachers and fellow speakers before I go on stage public-speaking PS my new years resolution was to be more selfish this year and how I defined that was only doing what I made me happy or got me on the way to being happy, and also not justifying my 'no'
when I watched Pixiwoo's vid I thought the exact same, asking her daughter if she's pretty yet and the 3 yrold saying no was really uncomfortable to watch.
you are so right with the eyebrow thing. I've had it with my nose since I was 12, people constantly felt the need to tell me mine was ugly/big. I'm happy you don't care that much about my eyebrows but I've been extremely self conscious about my nose since then, and I still feel uncomfortable when people look at me from the side xx
I REALLY needed to hear this today after being criticized for the way I look by some of the people I trust most! I love your videos and your eyebrows. Thank you for always being so positive!
If anyone is being mean about you ignore them- you are beautiful in every way - they are just jealous!!!
Love you Carrie!
Oh my gosh! I remember my friends being in an argument a few months ago and I said to them 'spread the love like Nutella on toast' and this video also put my mind off of tomorrow which has had me stressed, so thanks!
You are absolutely right!
We are all guilty about having these thoughts. We all judge one and other.
I think the same thing could apply to the shape of bodies. People don't need to comment on that either.
While I don't believe we'll ever stop thinking these negative things about other people, I do believe it's one thing if we keep them to ourselves instead of out right saying them...especially to the person it's about. That's just hurtful.
There's the saying: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't day anything at all.
We should probably all remember that more often. ❤️
I like the fact that you bring up that we all have our negative opinions and initial judgments of people and that's okay. What's not okay is voicing those opinions and judgments because you'll only result in hurting that other person. Having an opinion is fine, but in certain cases, you just shouldn't voice negative ones, especially if it's in regards to another person's appearance because you never know how self conscious that person already is. In the end, it's like you said. We need to be more focused on ourselves rather than other people.
thank you for making this! whenever I feel bad or anxious about myself I just always watch your videos. you inspire me and you never fail to make me feel better about the way I am. love you x
I feel you on the eyebrows thing. People have criticised mine because I don't do anything with them, even though I've got dark and full eyebrows so it's not like I need to fill them in. Like, why can I be bothered to pluck em all out just to draw them on again? Surely how I have them is the most natural and best way? but then that's going into a whole other debate....
Agree wholeheartedly with this - I personally try to live by the idea that if you have nothing nice to say then just don't say anything, and what you say here fits in nicely with that! There's enough negativity in the world as it is, why add to it by criticising something that has nothing to do with you?
As a person who is constantly worrying about what other people would think of her, but also constantly commenting (in her own head) on other people's outfit or look, I should definitely learn how to be more selfish. Just wear what I like without worrying about other people and just let other people do the same thing. If everybody would look the same, it would be a very boring world... Hope everybody has a wonderful night or day wherever you are
Hey Carrie, I don't usually comment on videos, but I feel like I must say that this video hits close home to me, 'cause I've grown with loads of people who would judge anyone at anytime, so I used to think that was ok, but since I've moved out of that bubble I used to live in, I force myself to think positive about the world in general, so I play a game in my mind where anytime I see someone wearing something I don't find charming I challenge myself to find a beautiful trait about that person to ignore my bad thought! Wow, this is such a long comment, I'm sorry, but I just wanted to share... love your vids :)
Reasons like these is why I love your videos so much. Thank you for sharing your opinion/advice! I hope you inspire more people the way you've inspired me when I stumbled upon your channel 💕
That's exactly how I felt for quite some time now... I also think that you shouldn't judge people like that because you don't want others to judge you, I mean at the end of the day we just wanna be accepted the way we are and we can't expect to be accepted if we don't accept others
love the message of this video so much. i'm guilty of judging people's appearance and then right afterwards i always feel so bad because i know it's wrong. when i told my mom this, she told me that your first thought about someone is based on what you've been conditioned to think and the second thought is how you really feel and your morals. thanks for making videos, carrie 💖 they always brighten my day! (p.s i love your disney dress where is it from ??) xx
You always make me feel so much more positive and happy about things, you're truly fantastic xx
I sometimes can't quite comprehend how right you are Carrie thanks for the most creative and down to earth videos I've ever seen on RUclips 😘
I love all the positivity you spread, Carrie. You're such a positive influence on everyone :) xx
I always thought you had nice eyebrows. A fact which also does not matter at all.
I was also putting on make up while watching this, and I feel like we bonded. Great video, Carrie! You are such a lovely person.
THIS COULD'NT HAVE BEEN SAID BETTER. THANK YOU CARRIE
Yes. I love this message.
Lovely video Carrie. I completely agree with everything you said. And I'm sure Gi appreciated the endslate x
Two years ago I told a girl at school that her leggings looked like the pattern on my sofa (which isn't the most wonderful pattern in the world) and I haven't seen her wear them since. I still feel awful about it and I don't think I've ever made a comment to anyone about their outfit since unless it was positive, whether it was to their face or not, or about someone I do or don't know personally.
+Mo Raye I'm the same way when I realize I may have hurt someone. Good on you for truly learning from your mistakes!
Thank you :) Hope you're having a lovely day xx
I LOVE this video Carrie! You are so right. And for the record, I have never even had a single thought about your eyebrows! Your most notable features to me are your curls and your beautiful brown eyes! :) xxx
wonderful person wonderful soul
Love the little stamp-quote thing at the end! xx
I think people tend to comment more when it's celebrities etc as they're detached from that situation so it has less direct implications. I can't imagine anyone walking down the street and criticising someone else (and I hope they don't!), I'm always far too occupied with whatever I'm doing!
+shannonheartsx But what makes it okay to say nasty things about celebrities, even if it's not direct? :S It's the equivalent of talking badly about someone behind their back. xxx
+ItsWayPastMyBedTime Oh nothing makes it okay! With people we don't personally know, I think its a mindless habit that people revert to, underpinned by many cognitive reasons (coming from a psychological perspective), so we end up exercising less control in our judgements of them unfortunately! I definitely agree with your message though, we should all try to avoid making such comments when we can! xx
+shannonheartsx i agree
Your videos makes me so happy Carrie, thank you so much 💖💕
About to rewatch this video as the first time I was to focuses on Carries ability to multitask!
Wow Carrie you always inspire me to be a better person! I love that you're spreading positivity on the internet where there is so much hate and criticism! It so refreshing to hear these things from someone with a following these days 💓
This is so true. great video.I want it to be June so I can see you in Chitty xx
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this! I've been lately trying to do this myself and it has proved to be one of the greatest things, I'm not commenting on the choices other people make. I mean, if I want to wear a sweater with a giant bear with glasses, why not? Who cares! I'm happy and if the other person doesn't like it I. DO. NOT. CARE.
I feel like someone needed to say that Carrie (that eyebrows are just eyebrows…who cares how they look?!) You speak my thoughts out loud! :')
OMG INDEED and I don't really like the perfect/on fleek eyebrows
+Emma L. Someone finally said it!👏
Love it Carrie! I have to say I am guilty of this. And I think Im gonna try and spread the love that everyone deserves
I just wanted to let you know, Carrie, that I loved everything about this video! I honestly was distracted slightly by what you were saying because of how you had the camera set up, simply because I loved it so much! I enjoyed that you filmed yourself in the mirror while putting your your makeup. I loved how you set up the camera angle. I think your camera angle is my favorite thing from all of today! You also made a very good point, we should just care about ourselves and not others. Silly comment, but I couldn't help myself. :)
A word for you Carrie.
Phantasmagoria- meaning a sequence of real or imaginary images like that seen in a dream.
It always saddens me that for some reason my natural instinct is to judge someone like that but it does make me feel better that I'm also conditioned to remember that the way someone dresses for example makes no difference to me and if that person is happy then so am I!
Carrie, I do so enjoy your videos, thank you for being such a kind, generous, creative soul!
this is so so true. i dress in guys clothes a lot because its comfortable and i've always been a bit of a tomboy but i don't care! i've got dressed some mornings and said to myself 'what if people think I'm ugly? what if people think I'm genuinely a guy?' but i'm comfy and i can't be bothered to try to keep up with fashion trends. some days i want to be girly, others i want to be a total tomboy, others i want to go out with no make up on and my hair up because I'm just popping to tesco to get my dinner, other days i really want to make an effort with my appearance! once you stop focussing on what other people think of you and start thinking about what makes you happy, your life improves drastically!
omgg carrie i understand you!!! i used to have really big and dark eyebrows and i'm really blonde so people said they looked weird. i started to do them and it turned pretty bad because now i have bald spots and one of them is bigger than the other one! it's so frustrating because i liked them just the way they were back when i was younger!!!! i'm pretty obsessed with my eyebrows because i think it's an important part of my face but no matter what i do they still look bad and odd... so don't worry. your eyebrows are just fine!
ps: i'm sorry if i made any mistake i'm spanish so english is not my first language
Such a relevant topic and something everyone should take on board. And for the record, I love your eyebrows.
you shouldn't change the way you are because you are worried about what others will think of you xxx thanks carrie love you xxx 😘 😘 😘 I love how you speak your mind and I feel more people should do this xxx
i feel the need to come with my opinion, i dont know why, i just feel the need to tell you that you are beautiful, not just your look but your personality, i am aware that i dont know you in person, but..you always make me feel good, i always find you inspiring and i really listen to you..thank you for sharing, thank you for making these videoes :)
and yes im kinda late, but i had a whole lot of videoes to catch up on, and a life to live :D
IT TOOK ME 2 MINUTES OF THIS VIDEO TO REALIZE YOUR DRESS IS BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
I need it badly.
Amazing video tho, I'm trying to get in the habit of stopping myself mid mean thought, because if I knew someone walking past me was judging me for my dress I'd make me feel kinda shitty, so why think it about someone else?
Soft Kitty Clothing for the dress m'dear ☺️☺️
I never even noticed your eyebrows until you mentioned it just now
Okay I keep pausing the video to look at carrie's eyebrows and I don't notice anything wrong, they're great to me
I absolutely hate it when people mask their brutal and cruel honesty as "I'm just being real" and use it as an excuse to say whatever they like about someone else, as if that makes it okay that they're making that person feel like crap. (Also, your brows are totally fine and you rock them!)
I so needed this today! Some hurtful things have been said to me before and this just made me smile :)
what the...your eyebrows are completely fine! why are people so rude?!
this is the first video I noticed your eyebrows
"Calling someone fat doesn't make you skinnier"
+Lady of Letters YES! xxx