Theo Apologizes For Hooking Up With Dude's Date

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  • Опубликовано: 19 дек 2017
  • FROM THIS PAST WEEKEND 12-18: • 12-18-17 The Purge. An...
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Комментарии • 3,1 тыс.

  • @johnconstantine2754
    @johnconstantine2754 4 года назад +642

    Whitney Cummings said it best " The more sober Theo gets, the more he seems to be on drugs".

    • @jcjs33
      @jcjs33 2 года назад +12

      and that's good because people on drugs are just 'trying to be themselves' but can't be themselves because they are on drugs........once they are themselves all bets are off and there's no need to question or defend my existence or 'doings'...om

    • @misterblueshoe
      @misterblueshoe 2 года назад +8

      That's really common for the first 5 years of sobriety. It's a roller-coaster of emotions. So yeah I agree

    • @joshforeman95
      @joshforeman95 Год назад +2

      I wanted to like this comment but its already on 420

    • @paulovalente738
      @paulovalente738 Год назад

      That woman never said anything worth a fuck

  • @danielkunkler7293
    @danielkunkler7293 5 лет назад +3638

    It's real big of Theo to put this out for Tom Segura. Now the healing starts.

    • @natethevillain596
      @natethevillain596 5 лет назад +67

      Daniel Kunkler I feel like him and schaub set this up to explain the segura situation 😂😂

    • @giggityeffyou
      @giggityeffyou 5 лет назад +93

      Jesse Wightman
      I think if Khalyla tells Bobby Lee she fucked Theo, he would have a long conversation with her, yell a little and still stay with her

    • @angelcabrera3015
      @angelcabrera3015 5 лет назад +12

      lmao #TheoGate #ChangeTheSubject

    • @jcarola00
      @jcarola00 5 лет назад +22

      damn you were really early on theogate son

    • @juancmost
      @juancmost 5 лет назад +27

      She was a date? Like just met? He fell in love with her after a few days!!! Pussy fart.

  • @RemingtonMK
    @RemingtonMK 4 года назад +976

    This is the funniest apology I've ever heard

    • @TheBrandonDawson
      @TheBrandonDawson 4 года назад +5

      Hands down funniest apology.

    • @vampmode9132
      @vampmode9132 3 года назад +6

      Onwards

    • @sirf4ce
      @sirf4ce 3 года назад +9

      Sober sex is for children!!!
      Out of context, that is an amazing sentence!
      With context, I am crying laughing!

    • @tylerwhite3862
      @tylerwhite3862 3 года назад +1

      Where's the funny part? I must've missed it

    • @MaxP374
      @MaxP374 3 года назад +1

      @Giddy89 😂😂😂

  • @Kevs442
    @Kevs442 2 года назад +400

    I was going to take my Dad to a Theo show for the old man's birthday but, now..Im not so sure I should. I don't want Von blowing out pops candle, trynna get him a mouth fulla cake.

  • @gabrielochoa3503
    @gabrielochoa3503 5 лет назад +2160

    The caller kinda sounds like Brendon Schaub 😂😂

    • @samuelstalcup
      @samuelstalcup 5 лет назад +11

      Gabriel Ochoa omfg bahAhbAAbhA

    • @fropick
      @fropick 5 лет назад +11

      YES!!! Exactly what I thought!

    • @22.NUU.DRU.22
      @22.NUU.DRU.22 5 лет назад +19

      ...it is. Staged. Disappointing.

    • @CrayTechTV
      @CrayTechTV 5 лет назад +6

      OH SHIT, IT DOES!

    • @bigounce7988
      @bigounce7988 5 лет назад +8

      U spelled Brandon Showers wrong

  • @christopherxiong
    @christopherxiong 5 лет назад +2528

    Never meet your heroes.

    • @dayra6425
      @dayra6425 5 лет назад +61

      He's the type of dude you can't leave a kid around

    • @nolan6183
      @nolan6183 5 лет назад +3

      True that.

    • @CosmicGumbo555
      @CosmicGumbo555 5 лет назад +32

      Nah man, he and Theo are Eskimo Bros now

    • @TOAST2URGHOST
      @TOAST2URGHOST 5 лет назад +29

      Aiming pretty low if this mullet is your hero 😂

    • @chrish931
      @chrish931 5 лет назад +79

      More like get a clue, if you go to see a comedian, a band, any kind of entertainer with an attractive women and that entertainer than hangs out with you and your date after the show all night, they are not interested in hanging out with you.

  • @christopherkotsopoulos701
    @christopherkotsopoulos701 3 года назад +168

    "I've always thought sober sex is for children"
    - Theo Von

  • @rightcoast4983
    @rightcoast4983 4 года назад +191

    Right in the middle "Don't forget to subscribe" LMAO dude has me rolling already.

  • @DanteZzZ
    @DanteZzZ 6 лет назад +1332

    Them Dark arts...

  • @carplay5454
    @carplay5454 5 лет назад +2830

    I use to keep my girls away from guy's like theo. but, it's not there fault they have the ability to just vibe with almost everybody they come across. i've seen situations like this happen before with friends and other people. there'll come a time u realize u shouldn't have to keep anybody away from anyone. ur partner either respects you or they don't. just move on to the next.

    • @jakeniemiec8559
      @jakeniemiec8559 5 лет назад +52

      Drove with a chock I was seeing for a few weeks up to flagstaff to see a concert. Later that night I befriended the band member and we were all hanging out. Long story short I found her naked with the dude in the stairs. Ultimate dealbreaker for me..

    • @rochajraphael
      @rochajraphael 5 лет назад +59

      You couldn't have said it better. That's literally the only thing that matters.

    • @readein
      @readein 5 лет назад +87

      I agree with what you're saying for the most part, but you gloss over the fact that it hurts. If someone you care about cheats on you; it's heartbreaking. I do agree that you shouldn't have to hide your significant other, but it's damn near impossible to "just move on" if you genuinely loved the person. Of course you should strive to move on, but it's a process; not something that you can just do.

    • @rochajraphael
      @rochajraphael 5 лет назад +45

      @@readein that's just it bro, you have to "gloss" over it in order to eventually move on. No one said it would be easy. But submerging yourself in that pain and learning how to deal with it are two different things.

    • @rikrob5172
      @rikrob5172 5 лет назад +29

      That's why I don't do girlfriends. Chicks think nothing of dissing a man like that.

  • @patrickgleason1915
    @patrickgleason1915 4 года назад +308

    At 3:12 the guy told him he was his favorite comedian and Theo took a deep breath, you can tell he felt bad about taking advantage. I'm glad he apologized

    • @kepler22-b
      @kepler22-b 2 года назад +23

      You can see some sort of pain here your not wrong.

    • @twztid13
      @twztid13 2 года назад +9

      Most ppl, for real, wouldn't care. Much respect.

    • @Bottlecap0
      @Bottlecap0 Год назад +3

      For sure, you can see a glimpse of his heart right there

    • @charliecinnella9090
      @charliecinnella9090 5 месяцев назад

      Yeah I bet he would do it again in a heartbeat though.

  • @adamstahlecker6254
    @adamstahlecker6254 2 года назад +116

    The best part of this whole story is “I always thought fucking sober was for children” 💀

    • @lettyfount5769
      @lettyfount5769 2 года назад

      Wooow

    • @ChaceBonanno
      @ChaceBonanno 2 года назад +4

      Sober sex is kinda awkward

    • @WV_Mudpuppy
      @WV_Mudpuppy 2 года назад +3

      I use to be a drug addict and while I'd have sex pretty regularly it honestly sucked, no feeling and hard to get off. I'd prefer sober sex 10 outta 10 lol or atleast maybe tipsy sex which is fun too 😜

    • @SourPatchPuss
      @SourPatchPuss 2 года назад

      I heard him say that but didnt even realize what the fuck he said until I just read your comment. That shit is ridiculous 😂

    • @ayvzu
      @ayvzu 2 года назад +1

      @@ChaceBonanno how is it awkward lol? If you're both in turned on its euphoric

  • @pacu1115
    @pacu1115 5 лет назад +819

    “And while he is talking about this, don’t forget to subscribe” lol😂

    • @drdeadbeat1604
      @drdeadbeat1604 4 года назад +5

      Agonising!

    • @suburbanshrub6675
      @suburbanshrub6675 3 года назад +7

      forreal, fucking hilarious

    • @clairvoyant_af
      @clairvoyant_af 3 года назад +4

      Gold

    • @DM-ky8sn
      @DM-ky8sn 2 года назад +3

      At that moment I checked to see if I was subscribed. I wasn’t so I subscribed n clicked the notifications bell lmao

    • @lettyfount5769
      @lettyfount5769 2 года назад +1

      So sad …… not morals anymore very sad

  • @davidp.5055
    @davidp.5055 6 лет назад +139

    "Sober sex is for children..."
    -T. Von

  • @derecksuarez978
    @derecksuarez978 4 года назад +40

    The most bizarre and hilarious apology ever! 😆

  • @Rodrigo-tk2fm
    @Rodrigo-tk2fm 3 года назад +14

    3 years later, watching this video cracking up at "American sex " 🤣🤣

  • @davidbarnes4742
    @davidbarnes4742 5 лет назад +1095

    He's somewhere in these comments lurking

  • @AdamBlough28
    @AdamBlough28 6 лет назад +2793

    Im never taking a chick to a Theo Von show haha

    • @geema2281
      @geema2281 5 лет назад +101

      I'm a chick, how do I find a dude to take me to Theo's show? LOL 🤣

    • @kevincharles6438
      @kevincharles6438 5 лет назад +80

      Giselle Martinez Im from Chicago and il take ya! I get 1st taste though LMAO

    • @nateone6632
      @nateone6632 5 лет назад +103

      If you have to worry she's the wrong chick

    • @veronica-
      @veronica- 5 лет назад +15

      Why? If something goes wrong that's how you know you shouldn't even be with her.

    • @DvDPlaya
      @DvDPlaya 5 лет назад +5

      @@geema2281 I guess you find a dude that doesn't know about this video. Chris D'Elia is the one you wanna look out for. He will steal a woman right off a man's arm with his designer skinny pants and big bubble sneakers. (bad combination imo)

  • @caarrll7117
    @caarrll7117 4 года назад +476

    Theo doing gods work. Saving these guys from broken marriages, alimony and child support. Thank you Theo

    • @CuttySobz
      @CuttySobz 2 года назад +7

      You're insane.

    • @jm5642
      @jm5642 2 года назад +2

      Praise God

    • @kathrynmcelroy5658
      @kathrynmcelroy5658 2 года назад

      Caarrll....hahahaha! "It was almost like Paul Revere a little bit..."

    • @davidgrove6210
      @davidgrove6210 Год назад

      He slept with Bobby Lee's ex

    • @alfonso831
      @alfonso831 Год назад +1

      I hope he does god work with your mom and lady.

  • @mikexxxmilly
    @mikexxxmilly 4 года назад +289

    This proves his point on how he uses comedy to alleviate his own insecurities. I do think he’s sorry and I don’t think he’s trying to make light of it. I don’t feel like Theo is a comedian. He’s an extremely quick witted, intelligent guy that uses humor to cope

  • @brentdraper4382
    @brentdraper4382 5 лет назад +926

    theo got the dark arts in him

    • @jkake2434
      @jkake2434 5 лет назад +9

      black magik, voodoo child

    • @neatchipops3428
      @neatchipops3428 4 года назад +5

      'bitches' like funny

    • @rap4life961
      @rap4life961 4 года назад

      Jerrod Draper just searching for the devil

    • @jsnel43
      @jsnel43 4 года назад +2

      He's garbage man. Idk why he didn't handle it like a man.

    • @MattH-wg7ou
      @MattH-wg7ou 3 года назад +3

      Seems like she got the dark arts IN her...

  • @1drsy
    @1drsy 5 лет назад +253

    Theo cant be serious to save his life 😂

  • @justinjackson7688
    @justinjackson7688 3 года назад +11

    "This is not the most opportune time to mention that... but if you would subscribe i would appreciate that" I hit that button immediately hahaha

  • @jigawatt7126
    @jigawatt7126 2 года назад +5

    “If you come back again I got tickets for you” lmfao

  • @bnol03686
    @bnol03686 4 года назад +1790

    Damn, i was gonna take my brother to watch your show but idk now

  • @ziggyballdust
    @ziggyballdust 5 лет назад +563

    Dude 🤣 “my bad bro.....want some free tickets?” 😂😂😂

    • @abtwopoint0
      @abtwopoint0 5 лет назад +6

      ... hilarious.....

    • @AuRowe
      @AuRowe 5 лет назад +7

      This guy is prime

    • @pguthrie222
      @pguthrie222 5 лет назад

      🤣

    • @alexferrana1
      @alexferrana1 5 лет назад +36

      It would’ve been hilarious if he said bring another chick with you

    • @BJORKAHOLIC
      @BJORKAHOLIC 5 лет назад +1

      I wont even talk to your date at all..."

  • @fuzzylogiceire
    @fuzzylogiceire 3 года назад +59

    Classic case of "she's not yours, it's just your turn".

  • @mightymurph3949
    @mightymurph3949 2 года назад +126

    This is the most “yeah I did that shit” apology I’ve ever heard lmao.
    But if that was the first date and ya’ll weren’t serious it can hurt, but it’s more of a good riddance than a loss.

    • @YoureRightIThink
      @YoureRightIThink 2 года назад +2

      Unless they knew each other from way before and dude's been trying to get a date with her or make a move

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 Год назад

      His decision, but what fanboy can blame her?

    • @hotdog9262
      @hotdog9262 Год назад

      most will probably disagree.. but id say if she was sober ill agree with you. if she were drunk its a bit more difficult. its easy to fck up under the influence

  • @ThePolareyes53
    @ThePolareyes53 5 лет назад +2615

    Theo did you a favor. She'll cheat again on the next guy

    • @H3aleme
      @H3aleme 5 лет назад +34

      Bro can you blame her ? Like really.? A famous genuinely funny handsome comedian ? She had no chance bro. Guys should stop thinking girls owe them loyalty, and guess what we don't owe them loyalty either, It's dumb to make a promise like monogamy. It's only insecurity that makes you want a girl to fuck you and you exclusively. I mean there is nothing that will stop her from desiring others who have some qualities you don't, so wanting her to refrain from following her desires is you trying to delude yourself into thinking you're the only man she wants... And it's simply not true with any girl. So "loyal girls" are still just as slutty but scared of manifesting their true sexuality, they, just like us, desire many men and not just one. My advice is, ofc you should have someone special with whom you share something beyond just sex, but don't mix up love and lust, you can still love your girl but lust others and well guess what so can she ;) ... It's the bitter truth

    • @jlozano2014
      @jlozano2014 5 лет назад +254

      @@H3aleme Wow, you're an idiot.

    • @matthewj6026
      @matthewj6026 5 лет назад +2

      Amen

    • @-foldedwalls-773
      @-foldedwalls-773 5 лет назад +82

      @@H3aleme you're right, just like you they desire many men 😂

    • @H3aleme
      @H3aleme 5 лет назад +7

      @asvpadam2x being hurt cause your girl might desire others is the beta behavior you idiot :) ... I've never had a girlfriend specifically because I am too alpha for that shit instead I push girls into a polygamist friendship with benefit and a lot of them accept it simply cause what I bring to the table is attractive enough

  • @joshuablack8221
    @joshuablack8221 5 лет назад +747

    This was on the chick. She did you a favor, now you know what kind of person she is... Move on.

    • @donaldferguson9418
      @donaldferguson9418 5 лет назад +9

      EXACTLY

    • @Artliker1234
      @Artliker1234 5 лет назад +8

      Y’all acting if Megan Fox would fuck you, you’d forget anything

    • @Shad0wack
      @Shad0wack 5 лет назад +6

      Implying this chick did anything out of the ordinary

    • @DarthAlgar5
      @DarthAlgar5 5 лет назад +6

      Onward

    • @unosheem6210
      @unosheem6210 4 года назад +16

      Artliker1234 if I loved my wife I’d curve Megan fox out of respect for my family if you would cheat in a honest relationship you aren’t actually in love because love is through actions not just emotions

  • @Shamrockjason
    @Shamrockjason 4 года назад +49

    Theo " if you want I got tickets for you.. bring a date" Von.

  • @llllllre
    @llllllre 4 года назад +180

    I am so fucking sorry for that guy. The Imagination of this happening to me and the girl I am favouring rn almost makes me cry. That girl should be so deeply ashamed of herself playing with peoples feelings smh.

    • @beaustur
      @beaustur 3 года назад +9

      Bro, shes got ovaries, what do you expect.

    • @benzohhhhh
      @benzohhhhh 3 года назад +20

      Been through Same shi only with a friend not a idol lol, girls don’t have souls

    • @patbobsquidpants3159
      @patbobsquidpants3159 2 года назад +7

      Haha soggy pillow lighten up you emo haha

    • @dantemacdonald7672
      @dantemacdonald7672 2 года назад +5

      Life goes on, man. That triflin shit went down for a reason, and hopefully all parties are bettered now. We can't throw all the blame on some girl when we only have a third of the context needed. In her defense: if I had a pussy and was hangin out with theo after a whole show of laughing my tits off, I'd probably succumb too. Life is about learning lessons, and all three of these people learnt damn valuable lessons, whether they've utilized them or not.

    • @tommydinob
      @tommydinob 2 года назад +3

      Broken people fracture other’s without really knowing it or wanting to know it.

  • @Wouldyoujust_
    @Wouldyoujust_ 5 лет назад +520

    "I went out and tried to catch that cooter frisbee in my mouth... Like a wild Australian Shepherd"
    Holy shit 😂😂
    Good one, Bone Ranger

  • @billgatesleavingyamomshous8177
    @billgatesleavingyamomshous8177 5 лет назад +222

    "I really liked her. You hooked up with her. Not the best scenario for me" 😂😂😂😂

    • @Artliker1234
      @Artliker1234 5 лет назад +8

      ... likes her so much calls her a bitch. Repeatedly. Dude is a psycho lowkey

    • @hydrationrequirement9762
      @hydrationrequirement9762 5 лет назад +58

      @@Artliker1234 I don't know how serious this dudes relationship is with that girl but anyone who cheats on their partner is a bitch.

    • @chaoticonchaoticon7676
      @chaoticonchaoticon7676 5 лет назад +24

      @@Artliker1234 to be fair she wasn't a bitch until she snuck around. When they sneak around they become bitches.

    • @mikasasukasa4479
      @mikasasukasa4479 5 лет назад +21

      @@Artliker1234 not a psycho, just badly hurt

    • @N8_R
      @N8_R 5 лет назад +2

      Honestly I think Theo helped that guy dodge a bullet.

  • @chunkylover123ish
    @chunkylover123ish 3 года назад +14

    "Got tickets for you. You can bring yo gurl." -Theo Von

    • @juanjerez1012
      @juanjerez1012 3 года назад +1

      I was just bout to say this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @whippin1335
    @whippin1335 2 года назад +16

    Sounds like it wasn’t Theo’s problem. She would’ve cheated on him anyway

  • @vitor3000
    @vitor3000 6 лет назад +1906

    Theo did that dude a favor. She prob would've cheated down their relationship if they did get together.

    • @rokeeffe91
      @rokeeffe91 6 лет назад +108

      vitor3000 calling it a favor is a bit dramatic

    • @benjamingracian277
      @benjamingracian277 6 лет назад +69

      Naaa it’s a favor

    • @robotdeathderby
      @robotdeathderby 6 лет назад +114

      i dunno if theo did him a favor, but i think it was just a case of sooner rather than later. cheaters cheat. better to find out early that the person you're with has no moral fiber.

    • @jomama3804
      @jomama3804 6 лет назад +8

      some people are mentally weak and can be convinced to do anything even if they don't really want to. I do not consider these to be people they are cattle/sheep. they live everyday at the whims of others.

    • @nodirbekable
      @nodirbekable 6 лет назад +11

      nah, a lot of girls can't resist sleeping with a celebrity, especially considering that they had not been in a serious relationship yet at the time.

  • @avinashjagdeo
    @avinashjagdeo 6 лет назад +541

    So she burst out crying when she remembered how bad the sex was, otherwise the dude would have never known what happened.

    • @nickbwalker51
      @nickbwalker51 5 лет назад +27

      At least she felt bad

    • @saucybaka4439
      @saucybaka4439 5 лет назад +5

      @@22year-olddoomer24 tru

    • @cloud_monkey422
      @cloud_monkey422 5 лет назад +36

      Nate Andrews nah she cried when she realized she banged a dude with s Kentucky waterfall, Texas tailgate, a mullet

    • @gregoryswift9573
      @gregoryswift9573 5 лет назад

      Lol so trueee

    • @bryandonahue4347
      @bryandonahue4347 3 года назад +8

      So true. She realized it def wasn't worth it. Gang gang Theo

  • @dogsoldier7779
    @dogsoldier7779 3 года назад +16

    At least that dude isn’t married to her. That’s life, you got to walk through the brush & knock out the weeds to get to the meadow.

    • @Kevs442
      @Kevs442 2 года назад +1

      Sometimes that brush is on fire and you got to run out. Because animals get burnt up in those fires. So, don't go around with women who like to play with matches.

  • @tnreprasentog7769
    @tnreprasentog7769 3 года назад +8

    Bro he straight being a savage to this guy theo don't feel bad at all he low key rubbing this dude face in it

  • @jabrobean8927
    @jabrobean8927 5 лет назад +97

    As far as I'd be concerned, he dodged a bullet. Dick move by Theo, sure... but she ain't worth it.

  • @zj2707
    @zj2707 6 лет назад +530

    Can I just say thank you to the 70 year old walking weiner who planted his seed in Theo's mom. Thank you, sir.

  • @Kingconquest89
    @Kingconquest89 4 года назад +69

    I feel like theo lies about being bad at sex as a way to get laid lol

    • @roems6396
      @roems6396 4 года назад +3

      bboyjayboogie
      Not sure what the logic behind that would be. Theo just strikes me as a guy that puts everything out there regardless of what anyone thinks.

    • @Kingconquest89
      @Kingconquest89 4 года назад +2

      It’s a joke

    • @djames6043
      @djames6043 4 года назад +18

      @@roems6396 Because every guy that talks himself up as a "sex master" or a sex wizard ends up being the lamest sex ever, if you go in saying you suck at sex you set the bar real low and even if you're decent then that's better than what the girl expected.. There is logic in it when you think about it.

    • @tijuas0918
      @tijuas0918 4 года назад

      Well you are stupid then , and obviously need to go watch more episodes

    • @Archetype77
      @Archetype77 4 года назад +3

      @@roems6396 Because it's a sympathetic thing to say, it makes a guy seem kinda cute and not as threatening.

  • @Slypuppy_
    @Slypuppy_ 4 года назад +7

    I'd expect nothing less from Theo, such a down to earth dude. "Man I was in an outta there like it was a bank". 🤣😂

  • @Badvirtueproductions
    @Badvirtueproductions 5 лет назад +354

    His sentence comparing him having sex to robbing a bank literally made me cry 😂😂😂😂

    • @oneeyedchef4819
      @oneeyedchef4819 5 лет назад +6

      petercullen15 black security guard hes resting

  • @Mackie17
    @Mackie17 5 лет назад +70

    "Get out there and be in people's orifices and everything, and be just loitering around in peoples orifices and in this woman's orifices." lol amazing

    • @Steven_Ray99
      @Steven_Ray99 4 года назад +2

      Sounds like the way that black guy on Curb Your Enthusiasm talks.

  • @FireFarter72
    @FireFarter72 4 года назад +6

    Well done both of you for keeping it real. That´s a good story and I believe it means something.

  • @cindym5777
    @cindym5777 4 года назад +3

    WTF you kill me every time. You’re some kind of okie poet and I love it.

  • @puddintaine4556
    @puddintaine4556 6 лет назад +300

    Big men apologize. Skin in the game...

    • @ayylmao3384
      @ayylmao3384 6 лет назад +8

      Lol you thought he was actually apologizing, that's cute.

    • @Breiitz
      @Breiitz 6 лет назад +4

      ayylmao - Theo was apologizing, and probably genuinely feels bad for the guy. But the guy intentionality called in to the show to be on air. He wanted to try and embarrass Theo. So Theo had some fun with it

    • @kennygerberich4985
      @kennygerberich4985 5 лет назад +3

      @@Breiitz How would the guy be trying to embarrass him if Theo has full control over whether or not his voicemail or the story in general makes it out to his audience? I think he wants Theo to feel some shame but is fighting the urge to fully say that because of his admiration for him. It actually sounds like the dude was probably more affected about this than he's letting on, and is merely hoping that Theo would care at least enough to address it. I mean how much would it suck to lose a girl over a one night stand with a guy you're a big fan of, especially if you were sitting there stoked that you actually got a chance to connect with him? He just wants to see that Theo was being real on some sort of level when he chose to hang out with him.
      So I do think you're right about the genuinely apologetic part, and that other dude who thinks it's not an apology can't read obvious context too well, because Theo really didn't have to give this any attention if he didn't feel like it. It sounds like a genuine apology towards someone he doesn't know too well on a truly personal level, but whose life he still obviously affected in a way he hadn't fully realized until hearing from him again.

    • @haydz5
      @haydz5 5 лет назад +9

      @@kennygerberich4985 no one wants to read all that dude 😂

    • @kennygerberich4985
      @kennygerberich4985 5 лет назад +3

      @@haydz5 Oh shit, fair point. I completely forgot I had written that. Those are the side effects of ADD medication the doctors don't mention..."cut back usage if RUclips comments go over 100 characters."

  • @princekadeem8689
    @princekadeem8689 5 лет назад +10

    “And we ended up hooking up and getting into some American sex”
    😂😂😂 Theo is a fucking legend

  • @vinestreet4031
    @vinestreet4031 2 года назад +3

    “Sorry man, I was the Hamburgler stealing titty patties while you were having chocolate shakes with your girl.” Hahahahaha. Can’t help being funny even when he’s apologizing.

  • @HollisLopez26
    @HollisLopez26 11 месяцев назад +2

    "some american sex, nothing foreign, you know" lmfao Theo is so goddamn funny without trying, truly effortless

  • @cosmotect
    @cosmotect 5 лет назад +229

    Dude I am down, I'll take my girl to your show in a heartbeat, its a great test

    • @cosmotect
      @cosmotect 5 лет назад +39

      @@lhowlett88 not testing Theo, testing the girl dude. I don't even want to be with one that can let herself be banged.

    • @bonson9156
      @bonson9156 5 лет назад +1

      @@lhowlett88 bruh....

    • @lhowlett88
      @lhowlett88 5 лет назад +3

      @@bonson9156 Hahaha, I remember being very drunk the night of this comment. Read this the next day and realised I missed the point completely. Good for a laugh at least.

  • @carl7221
    @carl7221 5 лет назад +506

    Theo definitely did this guy a favour, she's the sort of girl who marrys you, has kids with you, then cheats and takes you down. She's no good, move on.

    • @rm9308
      @rm9308 4 года назад +37

      Sometimes you gotta parade that cheese in front of a rat just to see if the cheese wants to get itself nibbled.

    • @user-kk6ht1id5e
      @user-kk6ht1id5e 4 года назад

      google Google What’s her name

    • @TheTheode
      @TheTheode 4 года назад +4

      Better Theo than some guy he knows personally as well.

    • @Vyrkgrl
      @Vyrkgrl 4 года назад +6

      That was a favour? I hope you never owe me a favour..

    • @PermanentHigh
      @PermanentHigh 4 года назад +3

      Wrong she cheats throughout the whole relationship. You just only find out mid marriage.

  • @kel4033
    @kel4033 4 года назад +3

    The paul revere reference had me dead... 😂😂😂

  • @RollingWithRoland
    @RollingWithRoland 4 года назад +167

    No one's commenting on the fact it was the dudes first date with the girl, that changes the whole thing. They couldn't be exclusive after 1 date, so it's not that deep at all. Guy needs to get out more if that's the first girl in 5 years he really liked :/

    • @superegobeats
      @superegobeats 4 года назад +2

      MakeSomeonesDay true. But that was more towards the end of the video and you know people love to comment before they have all the facts.

    • @BigBird629
      @BigBird629 4 года назад +16

      if the woman cried because she fucked theo and felt guilty... it was serious

    • @tarico4436
      @tarico4436 4 года назад +1

      Her crying doesn't mean anything. She didn't do anything wrong. Nobody did anything wrong. We're animals. We like to mate. It was a first date; nobody messed up. Now would she cheat in the future? Maybe probably! Git while the gittin's good!!

    • @Benjamin-1776-
      @Benjamin-1776- 4 года назад +20

      @@tarico4436 Yeah, listen to pop culture we are all worthless sluts! Live that empty lifestyle otherwise you are so behind the times silly old person! Ignore every study that accidently leaks out that says treating sex like a hobby leads to horrible results in every way, just listen to Teen Vogue and wtf ever soulless celebrity sounds off about relationships it will work wonders for your life!!

    • @pepperprovasnik
      @pepperprovasnik 4 года назад

      Yes!

  • @asgiantsastros3695
    @asgiantsastros3695 5 лет назад +397

    he moving on to Bobby's girl now

    • @Bananahammock88
      @Bananahammock88 5 лет назад +14

      Khalyla? Nah man..

    • @adamwhitfield5571
      @adamwhitfield5571 5 лет назад +22

      @@Bananahammock88 idk. Seems like hes already trying ro find out where she stands on the sneak tip. Hes always askin them about being attracted to others while in a relationship. And making little cracks like she gonna run to one of his friends.

    • @elliottjones8354
      @elliottjones8354 5 лет назад +3

      Dat hitter

    • @spencerlove2264
      @spencerlove2264 5 лет назад

      @@elliottjones8354 yeet

    • @danish-Le-Ashraf
      @danish-Le-Ashraf 5 лет назад +5

      Fuck my thoughts exactly 😳🤪😂😂

  • @tradeej9202
    @tradeej9202 6 лет назад +442

    His terminology is on another level haha!

    • @FlintSparkedStudios
      @FlintSparkedStudios 5 лет назад +25

      @Mike G Mike you're coming on too strong my dude!

    • @shanebone13
      @shanebone13 5 лет назад +2

      Quit speaking from your cooter frisbee!

    • @kevinobryant48
      @kevinobryant48 5 лет назад

      Tra Dee J yeah he dissed her in a sneaky way 😭😭😭

    • @ogmarq2737
      @ogmarq2737 5 лет назад +3

      Out here stealing titty patties and vagina nuggets

    • @rafaelsinsemilla1986
      @rafaelsinsemilla1986 5 лет назад +3

      "The Orifices" lmao

  • @UmarKhan-su1vv
    @UmarKhan-su1vv 2 года назад +3

    That subscription joke in the middle was good on a level that I haven’t ever seen in comedy. As dark as a joke can get really!

  • @bigbudugary1285
    @bigbudugary1285 3 года назад +1

    “And I do recollect that woman had a nice ass” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 DYING!!

  • @cohaagen90
    @cohaagen90 6 лет назад +34

    the fainting goat analogy is fantastic

  • @leonhart6359
    @leonhart6359 5 лет назад +134

    If she's the type of girl to do that sorta thing then she wasn't worth your time bro

    • @showtime951
      @showtime951 4 года назад +1

      Sounds like she was worth Theo's time.

    • @olliefoxx7165
      @olliefoxx7165 3 года назад +1

      @@showtime951 A few minutes and then what?

  • @gma904
    @gma904 4 года назад +5

    Loitering in people’s orifices... 😂😂 I love how he phrases things.

  • @AdrianVanOyan
    @AdrianVanOyan 3 года назад +6

    Tom segura sounded so sad in this call😪😅

  • @johnnada5782
    @johnnada5782 6 лет назад +38

    To me the shitty thing about hooking up with another dudes lady isn’t the violation of the ‘bro’s before ho’s’ rule ,it’s the exchange of narcissistic supply at somebody else’s expense. Theo’s a super likable celebrity and she’s an attractive woman, no need to be that thirsty. Shady bruh!
    Practicing them Dark Arts that night for sure. Still a fan though and think it takes guts to admit you made a mistake. Onward

  • @alrodriguez2261
    @alrodriguez2261 5 лет назад +146

    Ran into THEO at the COMEDY STORE with my wife. And he was VERY respectful. Took a picture , said something funny and KEPT it movin. COOL DUDE

    • @jaydun05
      @jaydun05 5 лет назад +53

      al rodriguez probably didn’t look as good as the chick he is talking about ijs

    • @gerald4871
      @gerald4871 5 лет назад +25

      "Kept it moving" LOL That's what you thought.

    • @PermanentHigh
      @PermanentHigh 4 года назад +16

      Your wife isn't that hot and you didn't hangout with Theo after the show

    • @jsnel43
      @jsnel43 4 года назад +4

      Let's see the wife lmao you already know what this broad lookin like, crypt keeper ass haha

    • @barbarosb9900
      @barbarosb9900 4 года назад +2

      OR DID HE.....

  • @reneaguilar1902
    @reneaguilar1902 3 года назад +5

    "Loitering around peoples orifices" lmao 😅

  • @AnthonyPardiMusic
    @AnthonyPardiMusic 3 года назад +1

    Putting this out there is next level powerful... Bravo bro bro

  • @brockbrown5307
    @brockbrown5307 5 лет назад +89

    Why is Tom calling? Just have him on YMH and work it out man!

  • @khanaveli91
    @khanaveli91 6 лет назад +265

    Theo "loiter around orfices" Von

    • @jeremybaker1855
      @jeremybaker1855 6 лет назад +3

      He has such a beautiful way with words lol

  • @Bree_Morgan
    @Bree_Morgan 3 года назад +6

    Wow, this made me think of theo in a different light. Yuck. Im sorry man. Thats some shady shit

    • @gucciwar2331
      @gucciwar2331 3 года назад +1

      I thought he was above that too

    • @gucciwar2331
      @gucciwar2331 3 года назад

      He still funny af tho 🤷🏼‍♂️

    • @Renegadesoul33
      @Renegadesoul33 3 года назад +2

      It's one thing that it happened and he had just met them, but the way he tried acting like he was sorry then talking all that shit at the same time, nahhh... that's just fukd up

  • @tripwilliams9623
    @tripwilliams9623 4 года назад +3

    the catepillar Paul revere had me rolling 😂😂😂

  • @joyful4108
    @joyful4108 5 лет назад +30

    7:46 “this woman’s orifices”... you really had a good night theo

  • @themanycolorbeast7440
    @themanycolorbeast7440 5 лет назад +96

    tears in my eyes when he tells us to subscribe!

  • @lovelldelves668
    @lovelldelves668 2 года назад +1

    “There’s a black security guard..he’s resting” lmfao

  • @timothybrown2398
    @timothybrown2398 4 года назад +5

    “I was that wild man out there -“
    Enough said.

  • @coloradoretreats
    @coloradoretreats 5 лет назад +33

    Theo you should have left him an IOU. Text him whenever you have a spare.

  • @nocturnalsociety6781
    @nocturnalsociety6781 5 лет назад +4

    Props to you for making that apology, especially because you didnt have to. This is the first video ive seen on your official channel. Even though this is sort of a bummer video, I can appreciate why you made it. I truly believe in your comedy so much that I subbed to your channel. I relate to your comedy and your upbringing and am always laughing right there with you. Be well and looking forward to seeing more content on here!

  • @stevewirtes3848
    @stevewirtes3848 3 года назад +3

    Is it just me, or does being sober make hearing “sober sex is for children” that much funnier!😂

  • @MrMikeymontemayor
    @MrMikeymontemayor 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for putting this out man, id thought you wouldn't reply, no hard feelings.

  • @seyekoh
    @seyekoh 5 лет назад +4

    I know this is over a year ago, but it's new to me. Just wanted to say that I lobe the fact that you put this out into the public light. Much respect to you brother. We've all done things that we shouldn't have

  • @brendanlorenzo7298
    @brendanlorenzo7298 4 года назад +41

    Hahahah Theo is genuinely sorry about what he did but he also finds what he did hilarious 😂

  • @adamrue7302
    @adamrue7302 2 года назад +5

    Man, I was taken to a random party that was full of strangers I didn't know. Long story short, girl takes me by the hand to a side room where we start the dark arts. In the middle of hitting it from the back, this guy I had been talking to comes in and turns the lights on. He starts calling her by name, saying wow, how could you do this to me. I instantly felt awful for that guy but I had no clue who they were or that they were together. I instantly thought that girl was trash.

  • @sererainbow8143
    @sererainbow8143 4 года назад +4

    Theo, good on you for changing your ways and feeling better about yourself and for apologizing if you hurt someone. I hope you find 💙. By the way never heard anyone describe things the way you do, feel like I just came out of some CRAZY, MIXED UP DREAM 😕😘

  • @PatBatemanAtDorsia
    @PatBatemanAtDorsia 6 лет назад +54

    "it was almost like Paul Revere a bit" - LMFAO!

    • @jeremybaker1855
      @jeremybaker1855 6 лет назад +1

      A Paulerpillar XD this guy is a fucking legend

    • @bertburt87
      @bertburt87 5 лет назад +5

      Caterpaul*

    • @brosegoes
      @brosegoes 5 лет назад +5

      The vagina is coming...

  • @yahonathanroden2681
    @yahonathanroden2681 5 лет назад +10

    "All up in people's orifices" I love his use of vocab whenever I see him! lol

  • @theshift2010
    @theshift2010 Год назад

    Nice podcast... honest, intimate, real. Thank you.

  • @robglew6509
    @robglew6509 4 года назад +2

    Theo you’re a real kinda guy and I can appreciate they you feel we’re the guy is coming from!!!!! Love ya thou!! Keep being you

  • @Jdawg1798
    @Jdawg1798 5 лет назад +215

    weird flex but ok

    • @hamig306
      @hamig306 5 лет назад +2

      Bosch ha! i was gona say that

  • @tmac20031
    @tmac20031 5 лет назад +267

    This just doesn't sound like an apology at all lol

    • @studlypear05
      @studlypear05 5 лет назад +57

      It is not your average apology...but give them some credit for putting this out there. 99% of people would be too scared to even admit this. He's also a comedian so he's trying to make light of the situation. Also the guy calling is still a fan and wanted Theo to use the call in his show. The guy didn't ask for an apology. Also, it was a first date...not a girlfriend of 2 years or a wife. Since when is someone on a date....not even dating required to be loyal? The date was over and then the girl went and hooked up with Theo. Fair game. That girl doesn't owe her date exclusivity after the date.

    • @RacheyBoBachey
      @RacheyBoBachey 5 лет назад +3

      I agree, sorry not sorry. And straight up gangster to offer him free tickets

    • @cultofthebull5044
      @cultofthebull5044 5 лет назад +7

      He said sorry, what else to you want him to do? Kneel down and flagellate?

    • @adamgm84
      @adamgm84 5 лет назад

      @J R bring those deformed rectal hitters to the show

    • @SamuraiCypher
      @SamuraiCypher 4 года назад +1

      carl carlson not at all

  • @nolansnyder8861
    @nolansnyder8861 3 года назад

    Hadn’t subscribed yet, instantly subscribed when said too lol

  • @Mandyx92
    @Mandyx92 4 месяца назад +1

    A caterpillar 🐛 climbed out ? Hahahaha❤

  • @arfa9601
    @arfa9601 5 лет назад +8

    Damn it son! This is so hilarious you should make a series of apologies!

  • @alhutch1798
    @alhutch1798 6 лет назад +67

    TRYING TO CATCH THE KOOTER LIKE IN DUKES OF HAZARD

  • @logicandreason5702
    @logicandreason5702 4 года назад +1

    "there's a black security guard, he's resting". I fucking lost it hahaha

  • @AlexRodriguez-if7wu
    @AlexRodriguez-if7wu 2 года назад +1

    "I tried to catch that cooter frisbee in my mouth, ya know.. like a wild australian shepard" 😭😭

  • @jv4vidss
    @jv4vidss 6 лет назад +279

    Damn Theo, I can't believe you put this out there. Thanks for sharing. Definitely a dick move. I don't think I could have shared this one myself, but I think most of us have been in this situation. Most of the time I like to think that I do the right thing, but it's not always that easy.

    • @gorgolbutt
      @gorgolbutt 6 лет назад +9

      +Jimmy D'amora
      I did this to a guy's girl actually at a Theo Von show (lots of other comedians on the bill the same night though). We were hanging out in the parking lot after, sharing a joint, and lo and behold me and this one guy's Columbian girlfriend sneaked to my place while his guy was inside buying a t-shirt. Needless to say, I fucked her senseless (and the funniest thing was, the girls phone was ringing the whole time cos' his boyfriend was calling, while I'm digging in to that ass).
      Not a gentleman move of course, but shit happens out there. Keep your girls in check, it sure as fuck ain't my job. :D

    • @kingcrustytut7544
      @kingcrustytut7544 6 лет назад +2

      Sergio Delgado lmaooo savage

    • @Berlinwood27
      @Berlinwood27 6 лет назад +17

      Sergio Delgado No honor in men damn lmfao. America really is a piece of shit

    • @fabiomugnaini6165
      @fabiomugnaini6165 6 лет назад +2

      Really? You look like a virgin

    • @NEVERSHOUTNEVER1991
      @NEVERSHOUTNEVER1991 6 лет назад +5

      Eric Romero you do realize she was gonna do this with anyone..hoes be hoes and most men are weak sad to say...at least he was big enough to acknowledge and apologize..he could have kept it under wraps for no one to ever find out about. He is a recovering addict and he is working on his recovery daily...

  • @rokeeffe91
    @rokeeffe91 6 лет назад +590

    Lol why is theo talking like a food critic, Theo and this girl both screwed over this guy... awkward

    • @AidanOBrien1000
      @AidanOBrien1000 6 лет назад +16

      Yeah but if you're Theo Von what else are you gonna do

    • @tobymcgroby8967
      @tobymcgroby8967 6 лет назад +35

      Forgiving someone & moving on with your life will always bring more benefits than holding shitty grudges & blaming others. Eventually that anger will bring you down, or at the very least, prevent you from seeing something truly good when it finally comes your way. It's a lesson too costly to ignore, seriously. What the hell am I doing lol... why am I spending my Friday evening preaching a comment on youtube

    • @SortaProfessional89
      @SortaProfessional89 6 лет назад +62

      That chick is a DAWGGG dude. That shit is 90% on her and 10% Theo. She went on a date with a dude then went out of her way to hit up a different dude she met once to slob on the nob and slide down on it. She slid in them DM'S of a stand up comedian to suck and fuck "Because he was famous" thats ruthless dude. That ain't a girl you date thats a girl you smash and pass.

    • @jobantwisp6060
      @jobantwisp6060 6 лет назад +2

      Yea gotta be an awkward thing to tell fans about,especially when you can only make so many jokes along the way

    • @Hmfirestormz
      @Hmfirestormz 6 лет назад +4

      beck did him a favor. Not a good girl

  • @mintclub2600
    @mintclub2600 4 года назад +2

    Fair play for putting your apologies out there...

  • @samspace81
    @samspace81 2 года назад

    The Bone Ranger rides again! 😆 🤣