Dexter Colorado if as men would step up and clash out at creeps as often as they SAY they would, perhaps these creeps would be less bold as they are. I’m not trying to start an argument with you but I have heard men say this so often and seen so many men and women simply turn away in the moment that I just am sick and tired of people banging their chests self-righteously as if it were a thing. It’s generally not a thing. Generally most men will turn away while it’s happening because they don’t want to make it their problem.
vmah0111 THAT'S when you got worried only? What about the dozens of incidents where he did the exact same thing before and stuff much worse even and everybody knew about it bc he's doing all of this bluntly and openly?
although he's been useful to people seeking to launder money, to Russia to lift sanctions and torpedo the Iran nuclear deal, and to China to prop up ZTE so they can continue to make phones they can use to spy on Americans.
I am laughing so hysterically at this entire monologue. Say what you want about Trump. No and I repeat no other president has ever, given this many funny material for late night hosts to work with. Colbert has me doubled over with laughter, his impression of Trump I just can't deal!!!
Priestess Auset Ra Amen oh hes given us lots to laugh at, while giving us plenty to be scared of. Just imagine how fn hilarious history books are going to be in 10 years.
surakshya karki , i dont think billgates will trash talk about anyone, you see when you have a better understanding of life and general and see thrue the behavior of the human character you don't need to talk trash about the individual you speaking of, you just got to tell the thrue about his character, and real behavior, is call studying the personal individual character of a person, if you do that you understand a great deal of each individal, that you dealing whit, is very useful. To see thrue people so you dont get fool by the conmans and bullcrappers,
xDarkTrinityx exactly that's the point....even if smone that dignified couldn't save trump's face and the conversation sounds this humiliating....i dunno what to say.....i wish trump would just disappear hahaha
Intelligent" people see right through Trump. They aren't ignorant of what ego-centrism/narcissism means and how it affects decision making and perception. It is why great minds from Noam Chomsky, to Cornel West, to Ken Wilber tried to shed light on Trump's neurosis. It still amazes me that Trump was able to herd so many.
About 40+ % of the voters only care about the economy, have a very short attention span apparently and couldn't care less if a Hitler-wannabe occupied the WH.
HOE BUDDEN he fooled so many because they wanted to be lied too. To begin with... So they never have to question themselves or personal world view.. Just stay comfortably numb in their own cognitive dissonance bubble..
The *contrast* between Bill Gates and Trump in like their current world views and goals in life.. is striking... It's weird to imagine them being side by side
+Channel for Positivity l Understanding l Justice ~ From Star Trek I learned that the universe would collapse if matter met anti-matter, and yet Gates met DT, and we still exist. Surprisingly. The genius and good will of Gates should have set off an unstoppable chain reaction when it collided w/the stupidity and venality of DT.
It's like a man walking down a tiled path towards Paradise and another holding the devil's hand walking on towards hell's flickering flames, he turns around and says, " wow... not only am I richer than you Bill but I'm going to have a better tan.. "
Bill Gates actually cares about the public and does his best to help people. Trump is out for himself, it's like Trump is the Bizarro version of Bill Gates (if you don't know what I mean it's a Superman reference)
Oh wow! Trump was once confused about the difference between HIV and HPV! I don't know how it keeps shocking me what this guy doesn't know. I mean this is the same guy who went to North Dakota while they were in the middle of a drought and delivered a public address in which he said that he had previously thought that North Dakota was _too far north_ to _get a drought!_
Go Devils, you were drooling for that opportunity weren’t you? just pounce on that little easy, juicy morsel. even got to throw in some name calling. i sincerely hope that made you feel better, i’m sure someone like you needs to feel better often.
MeganKoumori I feel like comedians don’t even have to work hard to make jokes on trump they just say what he does and that’s it what trump says or does is funnier than what any comedian comes up with
Gates was actually born rich just like Trump: his grandfather was a rich banker. Also, as usual, Colbert just focuses on Trump’s ignorance instead of the fact that Gates didn’t want any investigation of any potential side effects of the vax. Why not?! Because Gates is invested in the vax. He told a university not to distribute doses of the vaccine to poor countries. They have to pay for it. If Covid is so dangerous and is a global threat, shouldn’t it be administered as quickly and efficiently as possible?! Profits over ppl as usual!
I love Stephens "trump" impersonation SO much that I re-watch his monologue clips !! 🤣🤣🤣👍👍 Major props !! Someone PLEASE make a Colbert does Trump combo mash up clip 🙏 with emphasis on the ones when he makes himself laugh !!
“If the fairytale is being married to the sixth in line for the throne of a constitutional monarchy that has no real power and exists only as a tourist trap” 😂
This question has nothing to do with the video but I'ma ask it anyway. Where does Trump get his tanning done? I just can't picture him doing it at the White House because it seems so ridiculous. Lol
afro curly girl is it possible that it is spray on tan? The color is so fucking orange!! Might explain why the love of his life Ivanka has to be with him in the white House so she can spray Daddy😊😊😊
You forgot to put "tanning" in quotes. LOL 'Cause that color is not the result of exposure to sunlight or lamps. It looks like something you have to have custom mixed at a home improvement store.
I bet you wish you were under that constitutional monarchy now Colbert! You decide, toothless monarchy or unlimited power in the hands of a giant baby?
It totally freaks me out when Rumpy Drumphy talks abt himself in the third person. Although, maybe, just maybe, it points to some deep psychological schism in his psyche which explains all the OTHER weird stuff
*_The Peculiar Pot-Bellied Bird of Bethesda -- by fidorover_* There is a Wood Thrush in Bethesda, Maryland that is unlike any other Wood Thrush in Bethesda, Maryland. You see, this particular bird is even more of a loner than the others of his ilk. For, while the others spend their days foraging through the forest floor for worms and grubs, this curious fella spends his days flying from window ledge to window ledge at perhaps the town's best-known building. Those who work inside affectionately refer to him as Bubba, his distinctive pot-belly likely being the motivation for the unusual bird moniker. After landing on a random ledge, Bubba will peer through the glass to witness the goings-on inside. Those who've been around the longest believe him to be some sort of angel, there to make sure the people inside are okay. And if Bubba doesn't feel they _are_ okay, he will persist on their ledge until such time as he feels they are. On this particular day, Bubba saw something he'd never seen before: a woman whose beauty was profoundly breathtaking, but whose sadness was at depths he could not have imagined possible. He tried his best to get her attention, as he knew that most folks couldn't help but smile and feel better when they glanced his way. After trying every trick he knew, but to no avail, he simply tapped his beak on the window until the stunning yet lugubrious woman looked his way. Seemingly entranced, she got up from her bed and made her way to the window. She looked at him as though she'd somehow never seen a bird before. And while clearly braving incredible discomfort to do so, she kneeled down to position herself at the bird's level. She watched in awe as Bubba worked his magic. He began traversing the ledge, walking with a pronounced head-bob -- a trick that those who worked there were convinced was his pigeon impression… and an impressive impression at that. The corners of her mouth began to turn upwards, as a rare smile soon appeared on her gorgeous face. Ahh, the unquestionable power of cuteness. Bubba's charm was clearly working, but he was certainly not content to rest on his laurels. He flew out from the building, in crazy circles, darting back and forth from the window with reckless abandon. And while the aerial tricks were impressive, to be sure, all the woman could see was something she'd heretofore never witnessed: absolute freedom. Bubba was concerned not with boundaries. Or norms. Or rules. Or expectations. Bubba did as he pleased at any given moment, and that pleased the woman to no end. For she was on the receiving end of what she felt to be the greatest gift ever: an escape from her worries… replaced by a little something called joy. From Bubba's view, all was going swimmingly, as a tear rolled down her cheeks and right past her smile. It was at this point that he saw her mouthing five words to him. He tilted his head, trying in his own little way to let her know he didn't quite understand. She then mouthed the same five words again. This time, he seemed to know what she was trying to say, and now it was _he_ who felt profound sadness. He watched on as a nurse appeared and escorted the woman back into bed and tucked her in. All the while, the woman never stopped looking at the bird, with a grin that now seemed a permanent fixture on her stunning facade. And as the nurse exited the room, closed the door and made her way to the unusually crowded nurse's station, she exclaimed to the others, "I think we may need to adjust the First Lady's pain meds." "Why's that?" one of the nurses queried. "Well, for starters, I just watched her twice say to little Bubba, 'Please… take me with you.'" THE END
Siedler Joe Um, you're sorely mistaken, good sir. By your reasoning we should just close down all the book stores, do away with all the magazines and just read Twitter. Believe it or not, there ARE intellectuals out there, and lots of them. And the OP here (Fidorovers) regularly gets over 1000 thumbs-up on a long-form comment. I bid you good day.
With the 'blunt' indifference to presidential protocol he generally permeates it's a wonder he has any credibility at all, oh that's right, he doesn't. It's like a free for all Willy Wonka pageant. Poor old Washington, 'what is he doing to it'.
Trying to impress Jennifer Gates with a helicopter entrance is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. "Look, I have a helicopter!" "That's nice, dear."
Kaushik Padmanabhan Exactly what I'm thinking! I'm sick and tired of hearing about the royal family. Why should we celebrate the monarchy we broke free of?
Perhaps, but he's still better than what you have now. All corporations are in some ways ruthless and evil, they will do anything to make money. He's trying to make up for it by fighting malaria and making a positive difference in the world. Alfred Nobel from my country invented dynamite, which could be used for evil purposes, but decided to use the money he made to encourage science which benefits humanity and peace. In order to make a lot of money you tend to get tainted by the things you have to do to get there, you have to kill off opposition and cut corners to increase profit. Corporations move factories to countries where they don't have to pay normal salaries to workers or protect the environment. How many large corporations are completely without blame or guilt? At least people like Gates and Nobel understands their role in both taking advantage of people and harming the world and doing what they can to repair that damage and making the world better. But it doesnt have to be Gates. I'm not married to that idea. Just someone who will understand the threats we are facing right now, mainly the environmental threats. It doesn't matter how much profit corporations make if their customers all die. It doesn't matter how many jobs you create if the workers can't breathe or drink the water and there is no food left on the planet because of droughts and floods. War will break out everywhere when people fight over what few natural resources there are left. In short, the world needs leaders who DON'T think like corporations who only care about the next three months' increased profit. We need leaders who are able to see things long term. I believe Gates can do that better than Trump. To be fair a five year old probably understands the world better than Trump. Just save us from Trump and the people who are like him who only thinks about short term profit. Save us from lobbyists who pay politicians so they can continue to destroy the world. Corporations are way too stupid to understand that ordinary people are their customers and keeping us alive keeps their corporations alive. They care about this month. Not the next generation.
What I find funny is Trump tried to impress daughter of richest person on earth (Not anymore but still !) with couple million dollars worth of helicopter. It's like I'm tryna woo a girl with my hot wheel cars.
Goes to show you if you are speaking in the third person! Contrary to what you might read in political blogs, it isn’t a sure sign of narcissism when people talk about themselves in the third person. The truth is that much clearer clues about someone’s narcissism can be found in how they regard you and the other people in their lives. Have you ever heard someone talk about themselves in the third person? That’s something called illeism, and while it’s probably a fair bet that not too many are familiar with this term, most of us have probably heard someone talk this way at one time or another. But what do you make of a person who references herself in this unusual manner? Is illeism a sure sign of narcissism? Lately, according to many political blogs, some folks seem to think so. But the truth is more complicated than that. The fact is, folks talk about themselves in this manner for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, it can indeed be reflective of an inflated ego. But much of the time, it indicates something else entirely. So how can you tell what’s really going on with someone who references themselves in the third person? Fortunately, there are other, more reliable signs you might be dealing with a narcissist, and given how prevalent narcissists are these days and how problematic they can be in relationships, it’s a good idea to know those signs as well. Illeism is most often employed as a literary device, and writers use it for a variety of purposes. Professionals crafting evaluative reports, for example, will often refer to themselves as “this writer” or some similar reference to deliberately avoid being viewed as rendering a purely subjective personal opinion as opposed to providing a more objective summary of evidence that has been assembled. Authors of novels use illeism with certain characters they’ve created as a stylistic tool, mostly for various types of emphasis. But it’s rare for people to employ illeism in common conversation. Because we all have our own unique ideas and experiences and prefer to speak for ourselves when we share what we think with others, we generally do so using what grammarians call the first person singular pronoun (i.e., making those “I” statements much touted in assertiveness training classes). In some cultures, there are actually occasions where speaking in the first person might even be considered either rude or impertinent. Of course there are those “royal” occasions where monarchs or other state officials use the first person plural form “we” instead of the typical singular form to denote that they’re not just speaking for themselves but rather for the masses as holder of a representative office. Still, it’s pretty unusual for the average person to use illeism. Most often when a person does so it’s because they’re being either defensive about or protecting a particular image. That’s why some think that folks who talk about themselves in the third person might actually be revealing their narcissism. For narcissists, of course, it’s always about image. Just because someone is concerned about their social image, however, doesn’t make them a narcissist. Just because someone is concerned about their social image, however, doesn’t make them a narcissist. People of genuine honor often guard their reputations with considerable passion. They may have worked very hard to forge their character and their public image as well, so they hate to see that image tarnished in any way. For that reason they might emphatically assert something like “John Smith is not the kind of man that would say or do a thing like that!” when defending themselves against unfounded accusations or other attempts at character assassination. But sometimes people who talk about themselves in the third person can in fact be displaying an air of haughtiness and grandeur. It’s their way of asserting that their very name or identity is important, inherently carrying significant social weight, and should command your respect. In recent years, several political figures have been criticized for that possibility; Bob Dole was famously parodied in popular TV sketch comedies for referring to himself repeatedly in the third person during his campaign for president of the United States. Recently, Donald Trump has also been criticized for illeism, and it’s his frequent referencing of himself in the third person that has so many of the blogs buzzing about how this reveals his narcissism. Try Online Counseling: Get Personally Matched While some have suggested that illeistic people are most likely narcissistic, for a period of time in recent years there appeared a consensus among researchers that high usage of the first person singular personal pronoun was itself the more reliable indicator of narcissism. Most recently, this notion has lost support, even among the original researchers who came up with the notion. So it seems that how folks refer to themselves simply isn’t a reliable tip-off about their character. Fortunately, there are a few other and much more reliable signs you might be dealing with a narcissist, even if you’re not sure which of the two main types of narcissist they are (see “Two Types of Narcissism and How to Tell the Difference”). For one thing, when speaking about themselves narcissists frequently “fish” for compliments, validation, approval, etc.. If they’re of the more “vulnerable,” neurotic variety, they get anxious and feel easily hurt or slighted if you fail to heed their invitations to stroke their ego, whereas if they’re the more “grandiose” or character disturbed type, they’ll show their disdain for you if you fail to recognize what they already know to be their greatness. (You can find much more information on narcissism and narcissistic characters in Character Disturbance [Amazon-US | Amazon-UK].) Also, when talking about their affairs with others, narcissists will rarely acknowledge error or personal shortcomings. Somehow, they’re always right and everyone else is wrong. If they have a history of failures in their relationships it’s never their fault and always the other party’s - or it’s bad luck, bad timing, circumstance, etc. Lastly, it’s not so much how someone references themselves that will reveal their narcissism but rather how they regard and refer to you. If someone’s repeatedly ignoring, disregarding, or stepping all over your feelings (even if they claim it’s not “intentional”), or acting like you don’t exist, don’t count, or especially, don’t compare, you’re probably dealing with a narcissist, or at least someone with a fair degree of narcissism in their character. So, if you’re involved with someone who has the unusual habit of referring to themselves in the third person, beware for sure, but don’t necessarily panic. Be less concerned with how they reference themselves and more concerned about how they regard you and the other people in their lives. That’s the surer test of their character. Talk to a Therapist Live Online counsellingresource.com/features/2016/02/01/illeism-and-narcissism/
"Not the sharpest of tool..." Is it only me or anyone else also remembers Michael Scott (Steve Carell) from Office saying the same thing about one of the Branch Managers
I mean, I know it uploads world wide, so for some people the time might seem less weird. But I'm in the same time zone as new york, so I assume the colbert team is probably running on the same clock as me.
Since Victor built the monster and gave it life, it could be easily argued that the monster was in some way his offspring: and thus, would take his last name. So yeah, calling the monster "Frankenstein" isn't wrong.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm not gonna lie, when i heard that trump was talking to bill's daughter i got worried.
vmah0111 he's lucky Bill Gates is a classy man. Most of us would at least act hostile towards him, if not punch him in the face
Me too.
I wouldn't let him within 100 yards of my daughter. He's a serial sex offender.
Dexter Colorado if as men would step up and clash out at creeps as often as they SAY they would, perhaps these creeps would be less bold as they are. I’m not trying to start an argument with you but I have heard men say this so often and seen so many men and women simply turn away in the moment that I just am sick and tired of people banging their chests self-righteously as if it were a thing. It’s generally not a thing. Generally most men will turn away while it’s happening because they don’t want to make it their problem.
vmah0111 THAT'S when you got worried only? What about the dozens of incidents where he did the exact same thing before and stuff much worse even and everybody knew about it bc he's doing all of this bluntly and openly?
Coincidentally, Stormy Daniels' nickname for Trump is "micro soft."
I see what you did there.
Nice one
This.. this right here is gold
I am screaming with laughter!!!
Oldie but Goodie. ;)
Trump talking in the third person is the most believable thing I ever heard 😂
That and driving away so he could arrive at the same event in a helicopter.
No one is in his head
Megalomaniac.
he´s turning now 5!
Wrapping a moat is easy. Just wrap it around a castle.
...Or put it in a big bucket.
I would be really concerned if my daughter had been with in 20 feet of Trump. That man just creeps me out.
As opposed to being within close proximity to Creepy Uncle Joe Biden right?...smdh
tinkerwest why not both?
@D D
Really?...You can't be serious....
You and the rest of normal humanity. The man is a poor excuse for a human being.
@Ster Burk Woah calm down bud. His family hasn't done anything to you. He may be an idiot but that doesn't warrant such egregious threats.
That's not fair Stephen...tools are useful.
lmao. good one
although he's been useful to people seeking to launder money, to Russia to lift sanctions and torpedo the Iran nuclear deal, and to China to prop up ZTE so they can continue to make phones they can use to spy on Americans.
Punder statement. Trump is useful. To his wealthy donors.
He is useful to wealthy Republicans aka Russia.
He is useful......
To comedy ! !
My advice America: Keep him away from your daughters.
Next Trump will have the government investigate if the earth is flat or not.
alotosius No doubt, because "people are saying..."
If it gets to that point, it's over. His followers will accept that as fact until they die.
that is so fucking true
Trump: No need to investigate, it is. Believe me. (Like Trump would pay for some 'hum, scientific' research?)
They've already done it, and believe Adam and Eve started it all~
I am laughing so hysterically at this entire monologue. Say what you want about Trump. No and I repeat no other president has ever, given this many funny material for late night hosts to work with. Colbert has me doubled over with laughter, his impression of Trump I just can't deal!!!
Priestess Auset Ra Amen oh hes given us lots to laugh at, while giving us plenty to be scared of. Just imagine how fn hilarious history books are going to be in 10 years.
Yes, because laughter will make America great again.
Presidents aren't supposed to be material for late night shows. They're supposed to be professionals. America isn't a reality show.
It is now... :-(
*Eric Sell* Yes it is, sadly and the whole world are watching. Poor, poor Americans that didn´t vote for this lunatic. My thoughts are with you
If billgates is trash talking abt smone.....he must be really bad :D :D
surakshya karki my thoughts exactly. Completely out of character for him.
surakshya karki , i dont think billgates will trash talk about anyone, you see when you have a better understanding of life and general and see thrue the behavior of the human character you don't need to talk trash about the individual you speaking of, you just got to tell the thrue about his character, and real behavior, is call studying the personal individual character of a person, if you do that you understand a great deal of each individal, that you dealing whit, is very useful. To see thrue people so you dont get fool by the conmans and bullcrappers,
Edwin Gonzalez that is what i was trynna say
The sad part is, he didn't really talk trash, he just recounted what Trump said and did.
Trump is just trash.
xDarkTrinityx exactly that's the point....even if smone that dignified couldn't save trump's face and the conversation sounds this humiliating....i dunno what to say.....i wish trump would just disappear hahaha
"But I always thought he was a tool" hahahahaha
I'm surprised but also amazed to see you here. You were amazing on AGT. :D
Ah you heard that too.
PreacherLawson, EDITED! Dumbass! You must know about the glass house thing right?
I'd call Trump a tool, but I can't think of a use for him.
Raoul go Fleck yourself man ;)
". . .actual billionaire Bill Gates." Exactly.
I have HPV in my PDF 😂😂
I'm sorry but you'll have to reformat the whole system.
I got HDTV doctor says it's a terminal....
His HIV only show no signal, I think it got AIDS.
My HPV TV gets lousy reception!
Ichijo: Instructions unclear, now my dick is caught in a toaster oven.
Intelligent" people see right through Trump. They aren't ignorant of what ego-centrism/narcissism means and how it affects decision making and perception. It is why great minds from Noam Chomsky, to Cornel West, to Ken Wilber tried to shed light on Trump's neurosis. It still amazes me that Trump was able to herd so many.
About 40+ % of the voters only care about the economy, have a very short attention span apparently and couldn't care less if a Hitler-wannabe occupied the WH.
Damn BlackEcology, that was a good equation!
Intelligent people understand joe budden.
We must never forget.. He ran against Hillary
HOE BUDDEN he fooled so many because they wanted to be lied too. To begin with... So they never have to question themselves or personal world view..
Just stay comfortably numb in their own cognitive dissonance bubble..
Haha.. Keep him away from your Daughter.. bill
Keep who away from the daughter, Creepy Uncle Joe Biden?...
The *contrast*
between Bill Gates and Trump in like their current world views and goals in life..
is striking... It's weird to imagine them being side by side
It was like a twelve year old talking to a university professor.
+Channel for Positivity l Understanding l Justice ~ From Star Trek I learned that the universe would collapse if matter met anti-matter, and yet Gates met DT, and we still exist. Surprisingly. The genius and good will of Gates should have set off an unstoppable chain reaction when it collided w/the stupidity and venality of DT.
It's like a man walking down a tiled path towards Paradise and another holding the devil's hand walking on towards hell's flickering flames, he turns around and says, " wow... not only am I richer than you Bill but I'm going to have a better tan.. "
Wait, Bill is like 30x richer than Trump (assuming that the amount Trump declared for taxes is real)
Bill Gates actually cares about the public and does his best to help people. Trump is out for himself, it's like Trump is the Bizarro version of Bill Gates (if you don't know what I mean it's a Superman reference)
Patiently waiting past the royal wedding blah-blah to get to Bill Gates
If you hit the "L" key repeatedly you can skip passages while hearing the odd word to judge when it's time to rejoin the conversation.
On a smart phone, double-tap the right side of the screen to skip forward 10 seconds, left side to skip back.
Colbert does the best Trump impersonation🤣🤣🤣
Facts, bro 💯🙏💪👍👌🤙👉👏🙌. LOL. LMAO 😂😂😂
Oh wow! Trump was once confused about the difference between HIV and HPV! I don't know how it keeps shocking me what this guy doesn't know. I mean this is the same guy who went to North Dakota while they were in the middle of a drought and delivered a public address in which he said that he had previously thought that North Dakota was _too far north_ to _get a drought!_
lazyperfectionist1 no you weren't listening
He TWICE confused hiv and hpv lol
Yeah it wasnt once it was 2 times! Even after he was told the first time lol.
lazyperfectionist1 💀
Trump: Doesn't it rain more in the north because it's closer to the top of the world where all the water comes from???
the doctor told him he has one of those
The tool joke delivery and the Adobe Reader one... omg, Colbert is a comic genius!
Cobert is the king of late night
Ugh. I just had a horrible mental flash of Jenny McCarthy being offered the position of Surgeon General.
If you say it three times , it becomes true ...
New Message 😲 I really would not be a bit surprised. He is so stupid.
Can she write me a script for "Queen Eliazspliff"?
Please don't give him any ideas
He's already appointed Dr. Oz as a health advisor (I wish I was joking). Making Jenny McCarthy Surgeon General is unfortunately not that far-fetched.
geez I still can’t believe trump is president
and I can't believe trump is still president.
i can't still believe it.
We know you can’t. Crybabies.
Go Devils, you were drooling for that opportunity weren’t you? just pounce on that little easy, juicy morsel. even got to throw in some name calling. i sincerely hope that made you feel better, i’m sure someone like you needs to feel better often.
Get over it snowflake 16 more years oh yes we can go16 exec order LMAO....!!! GO TRUMP!!!
Bill G. Was not impressed meeting Mr. T , neither the American and certainly the rest of the world .
A creepy bully as President... at least we have Colbert!
Trump: Ivanka, sweetie, why don't you go tell Jennifer how I like it.
TheReal008Zulu Ewww! 🤢🤢
Oh god gross!! Funny but gross. Lol 🤮😩
giphy.com/gifs/urOM1aDOKB92E
TheReal008Zulu ewww
Well, he did publicly endorse Roy Moore...
America you got a creepy president! congrats to supporter
As far as I know, Creepy Uncle Joe Biden is not the president...Cheers!
Flosyd YEAH, THEY FUCKED UP.
The live music for Stephen's grand re-entrance @ 6:07 - Brilliant! 😊😊😊 My soul's been warmed.
3:29 “It was actually kind of scary how much he knew about my daughter’s appearance” 😂😂
And yet he probably wouldn't give it second thought of leaving her alone with Creepy Uncle Joe Biden right?...
Go away tinkerbell. you're a tool. Joe Biden at least demonstrates knowledge. I'd trust him a hundred times over before Donny Dementia
“Trump heard you don’t like what Trump is doing.”
Yeah well Gates actually made Gates’s own fortune without Daddy.
MeganKoumori I feel like comedians don’t even have to work hard to make jokes on trump they just say what he does and that’s it what trump says or does is funnier than what any comedian comes up with
Right cause Trump wouldn't have nothing had it not been for his dad, the pimp.
Gates was actually born rich just like Trump: his grandfather was a rich banker. Also, as usual, Colbert just focuses on Trump’s ignorance instead of the fact that Gates didn’t want any investigation of any potential side effects of the vax. Why not?! Because Gates is invested in the vax. He told a university not to distribute doses of the vaccine to poor countries. They have to pay for it. If Covid is so dangerous and is a global threat, shouldn’t it be administered as quickly and efficiently as possible?! Profits over ppl as usual!
Third person trump is the most hilarious trump
third person trump? who?
Colbert is shocked
“ACTUAL billionaire”, Bill Gates. I fuckin love it!
Hahaha the ending was a banger. Well done Stephen.
??? Adode READER? Since when does Trump READ?
Come on he HAS to know !
... How would he get his burger if not ? x)
My thoughts exactly. Why would he need this. He only watched tv
I think he's more a dopey reader.
Trump can't decide if he's the villain from a Bond movie or a softcore horror porn
I love Stephens "trump" impersonation SO much that I re-watch his monologue clips !! 🤣🤣🤣👍👍 Major props !! Someone PLEASE make a Colbert does Trump combo mash up clip 🙏 with emphasis on the ones when he makes himself laugh !!
Lmfao Kellyanne would go down😉 if trump needed her to 😂😂😂
Honestly.. trump keeps getting one thing right over and over.. his stupidity!!
He needs air to breathe, when he opens his mouth, trouble begins
Bill Gates is a brilliant man, but let's be honest, you do not require a high level of intelligence to see through Trump's BS.
He's a lame chess player
“If the fairytale is being married to the sixth in line for the throne of a constitutional monarchy that has no real power and exists only as a tourist trap” 😂
This question has nothing to do with the video but I'ma ask it anyway. Where does Trump get his tanning done? I just can't picture him doing it at the White House because it seems so ridiculous. Lol
afro curly girl probably at mar a lago
I'm thinking he must get it applied for free at a former insane asylum which is now under inmate management.
ArisCamp6 very good guess😎😎😎
afro curly girl is it possible that it is spray on tan? The color is so fucking orange!!
Might explain why the love of his life Ivanka has to be with him in the white House so she can spray Daddy😊😊😊
You forgot to put "tanning" in quotes. LOL 'Cause that color is not the result of exposure to sunlight or lamps. It looks like something you have to have custom mixed at a home improvement store.
Loving the grand re-entrance with the Segway take on the hoverboard, ridiculously awesome, kinda wish he'd enter at the start with it
Not the sharpest tool in the shed... well, Steve Bannon did describe Trump as a blunt instrument.
"I'm afraid I have HPV in my PDF." LMAO
Trump is not only the dullest tool in the shed, but I say: “Trump isn’t the sharpest light bulb in the crayon box” just to show he is TRULY special
I could microwave butter for 30 secs that was sharper than that dipshit
Thank you Stephen Colbert I need your wit and jokes to get through this nightmare
Spanky Dotard is one sick puppy.
Now THAT, is an Entrance!!! 👍
"Trump hears that you don't like what Trump is doing." White America, your president.
terenteren teren lolol
Coldern Ice White America, your president.
I think you will find it was Black America responsible for putting Trump in the White House.
Sean Scanlon How so?
도 밤톨이 Hahaha
"I am afraid I have HIV in my PDF." LOL. LMAO 😂😂😂
I bet you wish you were under that constitutional monarchy now Colbert! You decide, toothless monarchy or unlimited power in the hands of a giant baby?
HPV in my PDF.
Well played, Colbert. Well played.
I wanna see the rehearsal where colbert had to learn how to ride that
It totally freaks me out when Rumpy Drumphy talks abt himself in the third person.
Although, maybe, just maybe, it points to some deep psychological schism in his psyche which explains all the OTHER weird stuff
Steven, Steven, Steven...You of all people should know that "Frankenstein" is the doctor, not the monster. TSK TSK LOL
I never thought I'd say this but I wish we had Bush 2 back lmao
Albert Anderson Never Forget, Bush did 9/11.
Albert Anderson But Bush was less of a caprecious moron.
Yeah at least that guy you could somewhat talk to, Trump has lost all touch with reality
Bush 2 was worse, because unlike Trump's his team got shit done. As in, "razed an entire country and killed half a million innocents" done.
Yes, Gargamel and the smurfs is right.
you hit the nail on the head with the tool. lol
"HPV in my .PDF" FTW
Michael Gardner lol
I lready got them a moat, Stephen. You snooze, you lose!
*_The Peculiar Pot-Bellied Bird of Bethesda -- by fidorover_*
There is a Wood Thrush in Bethesda, Maryland that is unlike any other Wood Thrush in Bethesda, Maryland. You see, this particular bird is even more of a loner than the others of his ilk. For, while the others spend their days foraging through the forest floor for worms and grubs, this curious fella spends his days flying from window ledge to window ledge at perhaps the town's best-known building. Those who work inside affectionately refer to him as Bubba, his distinctive pot-belly likely being the motivation for the unusual bird moniker.
After landing on a random ledge, Bubba will peer through the glass to witness the goings-on inside. Those who've been around the longest believe him to be some sort of angel, there to make sure the people inside are okay. And if Bubba doesn't feel they _are_ okay, he will persist on their ledge until such time as he feels they are.
On this particular day, Bubba saw something he'd never seen before: a woman whose beauty was profoundly breathtaking, but whose sadness was at depths he could not have imagined possible. He tried his best to get her attention, as he knew that most folks couldn't help but smile and feel better when they glanced his way. After trying every trick he knew, but to no avail, he simply tapped his beak on the window until the stunning yet lugubrious woman looked his way.
Seemingly entranced, she got up from her bed and made her way to the window. She looked at him as though she'd somehow never seen a bird before. And while clearly braving incredible discomfort to do so, she kneeled down to position herself at the bird's level.
She watched in awe as Bubba worked his magic. He began traversing the ledge, walking with a pronounced head-bob -- a trick that those who worked there were convinced was his pigeon impression… and an impressive impression at that. The corners of her mouth began to turn upwards, as a rare smile soon appeared on her gorgeous face. Ahh, the unquestionable power of cuteness. Bubba's charm was clearly working, but he was certainly not content to rest on his laurels.
He flew out from the building, in crazy circles, darting back and forth from the window with reckless abandon. And while the aerial tricks were impressive, to be sure, all the woman could see was something she'd heretofore never witnessed: absolute freedom. Bubba was concerned not with boundaries. Or norms. Or rules. Or expectations. Bubba did as he pleased at any given moment, and that pleased the woman to no end. For she was on the receiving end of what she felt to be the greatest gift ever: an escape from her worries… replaced by a little something called joy.
From Bubba's view, all was going swimmingly, as a tear rolled down her cheeks and right past her smile. It was at this point that he saw her mouthing five words to him. He tilted his head, trying in his own little way to let her know he didn't quite understand. She then mouthed the same five words again. This time, he seemed to know what she was trying to say, and now it was _he_ who felt profound sadness.
He watched on as a nurse appeared and escorted the woman back into bed and tucked her in. All the while, the woman never stopped looking at the bird, with a grin that now seemed a permanent fixture on her stunning facade.
And as the nurse exited the room, closed the door and made her way to the unusually crowded nurse's station, she exclaimed to the others, "I think we may need to adjust the First Lady's pain meds."
"Why's that?" one of the nurses queried.
"Well, for starters, I just watched her twice say to little Bubba, 'Please… take me with you.'"
THE END
This is wonderful!
Bravo.....Bravo!!!
Keep em coming.
Siedler Joe Um, you're sorely mistaken, good sir. By your reasoning we should just close down all the book stores, do away with all the magazines and just read Twitter. Believe it or not, there ARE intellectuals out there, and lots of them. And the OP here (Fidorovers) regularly gets over 1000 thumbs-up on a long-form comment. I bid you good day.
I must admit, I always enjoy reading these semi-short stories of yours. That is of course, in its entirety.
fidorover loved it! Write one about trump talking in third person.
"Actual Billionaire" LMAO
Gates should explain the side effects of untreated syphilis to trump
yes kneedy, ye still stuck the landing though 🤣🕺🏻
Frankenstein is the doctor who made the monster!!!
I digress.
Thank you!
Thank you, was looking for this
It's Dr. Frankenstein's Monster.
Also, the monster turns out to be pretty literate, despite the general assumption to the contrary. Reverse president, if you will.
This aged well
to Frankenstein's monster * - come on, Stephen, I thought you know these basic literature facts.
Loool that nerd joke was too good "HPV in my PDF"
COME ON WRITERS!!! No 'Eliza-meth' ??? COME OOOON!!! 😂
"I think I have HPV in my PDF", I'm dying.
With the 'blunt' indifference to presidential protocol he generally permeates it's a wonder he has any credibility at all, oh that's right, he doesn't. It's like a free for all Willy Wonka pageant. Poor old Washington, 'what is he doing to it'.
Trying to impress Jennifer Gates with a helicopter entrance is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard.
"Look, I have a helicopter!"
"That's nice, dear."
Gates "I found it eerie how much he knew about my daughter's appearance ". Yes! Airy, gross, she's 21 now, how old is this story😣
Nikki C I think you mean eerie
D D yes. Thank you
I might have HPV in my PDF🤔😩🤨🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do we care about the royal family??
Kaushik Padmanabhan Exactly what I'm thinking! I'm sick and tired of hearing about the royal family. Why should we celebrate the monarchy we broke free of?
TimeandMonotony you don't have to. You don't have to waste your time commenting either. They aren't your royal family.
Kaushik Padmanabhan An American is entering it. This is more of a thing for people who like weddings or whatever.
It’s a literal distraction. Why do you think it’s highly publicized and televised.
I don't. I can't speak for anyone else, though.
"Your daughter is hot, but not Ianka hot" ROTFL 😂😂😂😂😂
About the video title; I think Donald was jealous of how much richer Gates is...
Was that the 10 Second Rule Song from Rhett and Link's Song Biscuits during Colbert's grand reentrance?
How old's Bill's daughter's again? At the time of Bill meeting Trump?
The answer should always be "Not old enough".
She is 22 now; might have been three years ago at an equestrian event in Mar-a-Lago
He wasn't president (I choked on writing that) yet?
I vomit a little in my mouth when saying it.
@@wilsonofcanada
Jesus, he really is ridiculous.
Way to make an entrance Steven😂😂👍
COLBERT 2020!!!!
Gilded clock tower and a moat: They already have those.
Bill Gates 2020.
Hell no. Microsoft is infamous for using unethical techniques to force their terrible software to be industry standards.
Perhaps, but he's still better than what you have now. All corporations are in some ways ruthless and evil, they will do anything to make money. He's trying to make up for it by fighting malaria and making a positive difference in the world. Alfred Nobel from my country invented dynamite, which could be used for evil purposes, but decided to use the money he made to encourage science which benefits humanity and peace. In order to make a lot of money you tend to get tainted by the things you have to do to get there, you have to kill off opposition and cut corners to increase profit. Corporations move factories to countries where they don't have to pay normal salaries to workers or protect the environment. How many large corporations are completely without blame or guilt? At least people like Gates and Nobel understands their role in both taking advantage of people and harming the world and doing what they can to repair that damage and making the world better. But it doesnt have to be Gates. I'm not married to that idea. Just someone who will understand the threats we are facing right now, mainly the environmental threats. It doesn't matter how much profit corporations make if their customers all die. It doesn't matter how many jobs you create if the workers can't breathe or drink the water and there is no food left on the planet because of droughts and floods. War will break out everywhere when people fight over what few natural resources there are left. In short, the world needs leaders who DON'T think like corporations who only care about the next three months' increased profit. We need leaders who are able to see things long term. I believe Gates can do that better than Trump. To be fair a five year old probably understands the world better than Trump. Just save us from Trump and the people who are like him who only thinks about short term profit. Save us from lobbyists who pay politicians so they can continue to destroy the world. Corporations are way too stupid to understand that ordinary people are their customers and keeping us alive keeps their corporations alive. They care about this month. Not the next generation.
This was a Killer monologue!!!! I loved it XD XD XD XD
Gates should pay his taxes
so should trump
I really like these 10 seconds delayed cheers (after the sign comes up for the crowd to clapp and woooo louder)...
What I find funny is Trump tried to impress daughter of richest person on earth (Not anymore but still !) with couple million dollars worth of helicopter. It's like I'm tryna woo a girl with my hot wheel cars.
Mike Zimmer True, Couldn't think of better analogy.
Hahhahhahahaaa what a show love You Colbert
From Eritrea
Hpv affects men too in the form of head and neck cancers - it's not all about the cervix, Stephen...
Nicki M Head cancers?!
For the sake of having the Philadelphia joke make sense, he had to use the most common form.
Penis not head!
All kinds of cancers - eg throat which can spread to the brain
HPV in my pdf ...😂😂..that's epic...
Goes to show you if you are speaking in the third person!
Contrary to what you might read in political blogs, it isn’t a sure sign of narcissism when people talk about themselves in the third person. The truth is that much clearer clues about someone’s narcissism can be found in how they regard you and the other people in their lives.
Have you ever heard someone talk about themselves in the third person? That’s something called illeism, and while it’s probably a fair bet that not too many are familiar with this term, most of us have probably heard someone talk this way at one time or another. But what do you make of a person who references herself in this unusual manner? Is illeism a sure sign of narcissism? Lately, according to many political blogs, some folks seem to think so. But the truth is more complicated than that. The fact is, folks talk about themselves in this manner for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, it can indeed be reflective of an inflated ego. But much of the time, it indicates something else entirely. So how can you tell what’s really going on with someone who references themselves in the third person? Fortunately, there are other, more reliable signs you might be dealing with a narcissist, and given how prevalent narcissists are these days and how problematic they can be in relationships, it’s a good idea to know those signs as well.
Illeism is most often employed as a literary device, and writers use it for a variety of purposes. Professionals crafting evaluative reports, for example, will often refer to themselves as “this writer” or some similar reference to deliberately avoid being viewed as rendering a purely subjective personal opinion as opposed to providing a more objective summary of evidence that has been assembled. Authors of novels use illeism with certain characters they’ve created as a stylistic tool, mostly for various types of emphasis. But it’s rare for people to employ illeism in common conversation. Because we all have our own unique ideas and experiences and prefer to speak for ourselves when we share what we think with others, we generally do so using what grammarians call the first person singular pronoun (i.e., making those “I” statements much touted in assertiveness training classes). In some cultures, there are actually occasions where speaking in the first person might even be considered either rude or impertinent. Of course there are those “royal” occasions where monarchs or other state officials use the first person plural form “we” instead of the typical singular form to denote that they’re not just speaking for themselves but rather for the masses as holder of a representative office. Still, it’s pretty unusual for the average person to use illeism. Most often when a person does so it’s because they’re being either defensive about or protecting a particular image. That’s why some think that folks who talk about themselves in the third person might actually be revealing their narcissism. For narcissists, of course, it’s always about image.
Just because someone is concerned about their social image, however, doesn’t make them a narcissist.
Just because someone is concerned about their social image, however, doesn’t make them a narcissist. People of genuine honor often guard their reputations with considerable passion. They may have worked very hard to forge their character and their public image as well, so they hate to see that image tarnished in any way. For that reason they might emphatically assert something like “John Smith is not the kind of man that would say or do a thing like that!” when defending themselves against unfounded accusations or other attempts at character assassination. But sometimes people who talk about themselves in the third person can in fact be displaying an air of haughtiness and grandeur. It’s their way of asserting that their very name or identity is important, inherently carrying significant social weight, and should command your respect. In recent years, several political figures have been criticized for that possibility; Bob Dole was famously parodied in popular TV sketch comedies for referring to himself repeatedly in the third person during his campaign for president of the United States. Recently, Donald Trump has also been criticized for illeism, and it’s his frequent referencing of himself in the third person that has so many of the blogs buzzing about how this reveals his narcissism.
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While some have suggested that illeistic people are most likely narcissistic, for a period of time in recent years there appeared a consensus among researchers that high usage of the first person singular personal pronoun was itself the more reliable indicator of narcissism. Most recently, this notion has lost support, even among the original researchers who came up with the notion. So it seems that how folks refer to themselves simply isn’t a reliable tip-off about their character. Fortunately, there are a few other and much more reliable signs you might be dealing with a narcissist, even if you’re not sure which of the two main types of narcissist they are (see “Two Types of Narcissism and How to Tell the Difference”).
For one thing, when speaking about themselves narcissists frequently “fish” for compliments, validation, approval, etc.. If they’re of the more “vulnerable,” neurotic variety, they get anxious and feel easily hurt or slighted if you fail to heed their invitations to stroke their ego, whereas if they’re the more “grandiose” or character disturbed type, they’ll show their disdain for you if you fail to recognize what they already know to be their greatness. (You can find much more information on narcissism and narcissistic characters in Character Disturbance [Amazon-US | Amazon-UK].) Also, when talking about their affairs with others, narcissists will rarely acknowledge error or personal shortcomings. Somehow, they’re always right and everyone else is wrong. If they have a history of failures in their relationships it’s never their fault and always the other party’s - or it’s bad luck, bad timing, circumstance, etc. Lastly, it’s not so much how someone references themselves that will reveal their narcissism but rather how they regard and refer to you. If someone’s repeatedly ignoring, disregarding, or stepping all over your feelings (even if they claim it’s not “intentional”), or acting like you don’t exist, don’t count, or especially, don’t compare, you’re probably dealing with a narcissist, or at least someone with a fair degree of narcissism in their character. So, if you’re involved with someone who has the unusual habit of referring to themselves in the third person, beware for sure, but don’t necessarily panic. Be less concerned with how they reference themselves and more concerned about how they regard you and the other people in their lives. That’s the surer test of their character.
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counsellingresource.com/features/2016/02/01/illeism-and-narcissism/
"Not the sharpest of tool..." Is it only me or anyone else also remembers Michael Scott (Steve Carell) from Office saying the same thing about one of the Branch Managers
I’m pretty sure next thing Trump gonna ask is why don’t human goes into the sun at night, since it’s not hot anymore.
rewer - Yawn
you had me at Tool....lol
Why does this get uploaded at almost 4am? Is it just to spite "first" posters?
Trevor Gruen it does upload world wide though..
It's for us Europeans , we get this for breakfast .
It's only 930pm when uploaded here in Hawai'i
I mean, I know it uploads world wide, so for some people the time might seem less weird. But I'm in the same time zone as new york, so I assume the colbert team is probably running on the same clock as me.
It's uploaded at about 12:30 am here on the West Coast.
Was in the audience last night! Wohoo!
I wasn’t impressed either. Low energy
I would _love_ to have a moat, but because I live in Louisiana, that thing would turn into a mosquito-infested plague nest within a week.
Mentioning Frankenstein when meaning Frankenstein's monster. I am not mad. I'm just disappointed, Stephen.
Since Victor built the monster and gave it life, it could be easily argued that the monster was in some way his offspring: and thus, would take his last name.
So yeah, calling the monster "Frankenstein" isn't wrong.
Johnny Sei Gut Come on relax! All know it that way! 😨
A moat? Send them a shovel and tell them to dig it themselves.
creeper 🙄