Donald Jr.'s Testimony Summarized: 'I Do Not Recall'
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- Опубликовано: 17 май 2018
- Anything Jeff Sessions cannot recall, Donald Trump Jr. cannot remember better!
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. 
Развлечения
Colbert's "douchebag" voice for Jr is spot on!
He’s sounds like my cousins’ step dad 😂😂
No that's more of a jock voice.
11O1OO111OOO nah it’s a douche voice it’s just many many jocks are also douches
Ro G
American Psycho.
Ro G
Really? I was thinking he wasn't adding enough douche to it to be believable.
At least we have reached the point that when I tell my baby brother he is acting like Trump, he immediately bursts into tears.
Now that's FUNNY!!
"he's 3"
Guy Digging that is so wrong
Guy Digging
😁😁😁
An excellent analogy, Donny Dirtbag is a pouty, baggy assed three year old.
"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason".
*Mark Twain*
Colbert = living legend
Bro he Killed it lmao, That "Worst Case Scenario Simon Cowell" Lol
Holy crap. Stephen nailed the impressions of those three presidents.
Sometimes I think Giuliani is secretly against Trump.
Arturo Valdemar
Nah he's just trying to seed the plausibility of preexisting behavior.
Its better to portray Trump as a possible sleaze bag then have there be no doubt that his actions were politically driven.
Arturo Valdemar he’s a mole
If that's the case then Giuliani is a master of revenge!
Yes, I have had the same thoughts now and then. Could be, but that is difficult to know.
Arturo Valdemar i think so too
Colbert's presidential impersonations are absolute gold!
So true
They are pathetic and unfunny because he clearly has a biased point of view.
@@11bkev no they aren't, and you only think otherwise because you have a biased point of view
Colbert's impressions of Nixon and Clinton were absolutely brilliant, although, as a Scotsman, I may not be the best judge! Thank God for Colbert - he sees right through Trump's avalanche of lies.
Bruce Maher The *majority* of people with eyes do;-)
So much winning folks
Trump is his best impression.
"I do not recall..."
Who does he think he is, Jeff Sessions?!
Accio Username lmao
Exactly what I was thinking!
Judge: What's your name:
Jeff Sessions: I don't recall!
+Accio Username What did you have for breakfast a few hours ago..."I Do Not Recall"
Or Alberto Gonzales, Tom Delay, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Oliver North, Edwin Meese... etc. Lol
Interviewer: “so is Mr Trump innocent?”Giuliani: “Well legally you can’t indict a sitting president.”
Nuff Said
Only for certain crimes, think of it as Diplomatic immunity.
But after he's no longer in office… Wham, Bam, thank you Ma'am!
raptorblader
Like...crimes.
James Schrader
No, there's not a long list. Bush's Patriot Act is the most egregious set of violations of civil rights to date that gave rise to what continued in the Obama administration.
BTW, no one "infiltrated" Trump's campaign. A single informant was in contact with George Papadopoulos who had already raised a red flag when he told the Australian ambassador that he was in contact with elements within the Russian government. The FBI had no involvement in the campaign itself. There were no spies involved.
And don't forget Warren G. Harding.
You know what, I prefer his at home shows. The genuine laughter from his family made it so much better.
Agreed and I hope his wife laughing just off camera stays forever!
On fire Mr Colbert, truly on fire ....love your work.
"I Do Not Recall" should be the slogan for Trump 2020.
moonwalkingthroughlife haaaah! haaaah!
moonwalkingthroughlife
Or Trump for prison 2020. Now that would truly make America great again.
Worked for Sessions.
moonwalkingthroughlife Trump 2020, MAGA! ☆ ★ ☆ ★ Fk the snowflake libtards
"Remember when Trump was president?"
"I do not recall."
Or an idea for a new movie. "Total Do Not Recall"
When the monologue is one peace, oh the gods have bestowed us with a gift on this fine Friday!
I very much look forward to Trump's eviction from office. If he committed a crime, he must be put in jail like every other criminal. People are sitting in jail for 25yrs for selling pot. What should he get for selling our country as a traitor?
Shocky Shocky
you guys Americans had serious white collar crime problems since 9/11. FBI used to take white collar crimes a lot more serious before 9/11, now its all terrorism while cripplingly damaging corruptions are pretty much left unchecked and unpunished. Americans need to get this back into the spotlight, only then your country can be sane again. terrorism in another continent will not kill you. these misuse of power in large scale will.
Plum loko
Again I ask...could we tar&feather him now while we're waiting for him to get out of office & be tried & sentenced? He'll have things tied up in courts the next 10-15yrs before an actual trial begins. Haha...sad but true
He should get life in solitary confinement.
This show is pure genius!!!
"I never taught you to lie. That's why you're so *BAD* at it." - Thanos to Gamora, 2018 (Alternatively: Donald to Donjr, 2018)
19thHour plz push jr of a cliff for the no jail stone
Except that the trump's are really awful at it. Both of them can't tell a sensible lie.
Correction... Donald likely did taught jr to lied, that's why it's so bad...
19thHour Best comment 🏆😂
19thHour
*Hey! Spoiler warning?*
Damn, man... It's bad enough I already figured out if anyone died, who they were, and _how_ they died thanks to random internet spoilers.
1. There was no meeting
2. The meeting wasn´t at Trump tower
3. There weren´t any russians
4. None of us met with any russians
5. None of us met with any russians connected to the russian government
6. Didn´t know what the meeting was about
7. Meeting joined by Jared, Don jr and Manafort wasn´t important
8. The meeting with russians connected to the russian government wasn´t about collusion
9. The meeting with russians connected to the russian government was only about sanctions
10. Meeting with russians was nothing because they had no dirt on Hillary
11. Trump never knew about Don jr, Jared & Manfort meeting russians in Trump Tower
...
Notice how that mirrors their Climate Change stance as well, from
"Climate Change isn't happening" back then
to
"Our actions aren't the biggest contributor to greenhouse gasses" today
You forgot the whole adoption thing
That's a damn good list of the many versions of one lie that the Trump family has admitted, each version inching closer to the truth. Somebody out there has got to have evidence of Don Jr calling Don Sr during that meeting. Please leak the evidence, so we all can have a national holiday!!!
+Comrade Trump The _Adoption Thing_ is the _Sanctions Thing._ Putin's angry response to the Magnitsky Act's passage (sanctions against Putin-connected oligarchs) was to ban Americans from adopting Russian babies. When they say "we were talking about adoptions" it means "we were talking about how we were promising to eliminate sanctions".
Hahahaha! None of the above.
Lord, have mercy. Stephen went IN on this one!
"His toilet burger"! Thank the Gods that we have laughter to get us through this; We love you Stephen
I have a 7 year old who's figured out that lying doesn't work if you just keep changing your story until something 'sticks'. Wonder when Donny Jr. will hit that developmental milestone.
It's like he's using Hillary's playbook huh?
Not in this lifetime..!!! LOL
New Message, telling a few lies doesn't work but lying no stop is very effective. According to polls, the large majority of Republicans believe Trump is innocent and the witch hunt is real.
Joshua Nelson watch out she’s behind you!!
Actually no. Hillary was investigated and didn't cry about it ever second and of course they came up empty handed. In Trumps case, new evidence of the corruption, fraud and pay to play schemes come out ever day. A number of people indited. 6 people now have plead guilty, the newest being Manfort's son-in-law and he is not working with Mueller.
Maybe they are using the same playbook and the difference is due to Hillary being innocent and Trump being guilty of too many crimes to count.
Comedy gold. Warmest greetings with a dash of sunshine from Nairobi, Kenya.
Trump's birthplace! Why won't he show his birth certificate?
Trump Jr.'s least favorite movie: *Total Recall*
ROFL
Pretty good!
Trump supporters' least favorite movie: The Patriot
MisterB 😂😂😂😂😂
...."IS HE GONE??!" The face that Stephen made. Lol😅
"Dad gets angry when you interrupt his toilet burger" is modern poetry. Shakespeare, almost. If he werent dead.
"...worse case scenario Simon Cowell" LOLd
Once again hitting the nail on the head. Thank you Stephen
Colbert's monologues are the best in late night tv. There ive said it!
Well, Fallon's no competition at all and Seth has great writers and delivery but totally different style than Colbert-- I enjoy both.
Best monologue ever.
Happy Muellerversary!
Ark 42 okay now he can GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!
Ark 42 Mueller and deepstate puppets going down
jereme Erxleben As long as President Clown and his goons go down with 'em. Here's something you'd like: Go stick Hannity up your ass, idiot.
Morgan Field go ahead support deepstate Mueller and his lies keep eating the shit they feed you Trump 2020 MAGA! ☆ ★ ☆ ★ Trump and his goons are here to stay.
jereme Erxleben lmao alright kid, nice stars
"Toilet burger"! HILARIOUS! Thank you Stephen, for helping us to laugh at anything we can, as much as we can, whenever we can; it makes life livable.
Colbert’s on Fireeeee tonight 🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂
I guess he is not blessed with his dad's amazing memory. Poor sod.
EvelineUK sod, good one. A son of a dummy LOL
My 6 year old son lied to me about eating his vegetables, when I find out that he lied I got angry and I asked why did you lie to me? where do you think lying will get you in life? he simply answered me to the White House.
Kennedy Baz out of the mouths of babes... Sadly true.
And then everybody clapped
Kennedy Baz which is why America MUST see this through. Our children deserve a better example.
@@mmhoss that happned
I legitimately couldn't get through this without Stephen Colbert
I don't know why I'm not a bigger fan of Stephen Colbert because he's good, really good.
Probably because his humor seriously lacks any resemblance of facts or humor. He's a tiny piss ant....a mama's boy...just like Richard Simmons. Pretty sad because he could actually be funny if his joke had any fact to them. Jokes about imaginary crap aren't funny to anyone except the uninformed liberal....but they aren't interested in facts if you just say what they want to hear. He's playing your ads and making$$$ on it😂🤣😂😂
You do know one of his and his wife's best friends are Martha Mcallum and her husband? Staunch conservatives? Did you know that🤣😂🤣😂 he's getting rich off dumbasses like you.
Nik str, obviously you haven't seen the Washington press club address by Colbert. Bigger balls than most.
First year anniversaries require paper gifts, like sealed indictments
Steven was on fire tonight lol. Great show!
...”has many people inside of him.”
Literally choked on my soup, laughing.
:-)
It feels weird wishing ill upon our leader. But then I remember who it is and what's he's said and done.
Ma Ni
ruclips.net/video/GkgIgUxSrPU/видео.html
Mark N.
Please tell us how the surprise Secret Service visit went! 😂🤣🤣
Kidding, but still agree with you. He's dangerous and does need to be removed from office.
Sadly, couldn't agree more
And if the other candidate had won, we'd be in even worse shit...and people like Colbert would be covering it up instead of exposing it. I love the smell of Hypocrisy in the morning.
@@Keihryon What exactly makes you think Colbert would be covering it up?
It's just pretty funny how people like you assume just because others don't like Trump, that all of us blindly follow Hillary
I for one do not recall writing this comment,,
Fran Tura
What comment?
I do not recall reading your comment saying you don't recall writing that comment.
Fran Tura What comment?
Fran Tura 😂
@@richarddarlington1139 That’s ridiculous. There never was any comment, and even if there was, since when are comments something you read?
@@Lowkeylie
This was two years ago.
I don't recall making that comment.
One year anniversary gift is paper - as in subpoenas.
TheTwick , clever!
Small subpoenas.
Got damn, Colbert in rare form here. One of his best segments in recent memory
With ALL honesty, I never thought I would live to see this.
Politicians are very much like diapers they should be changed as often as possible, and for the same reason. Mark Twain.
Paul H spot on👍
The whole Trump team is currently beating whatever the world record for "Most collective amnesia" is. Apparently, stupidity isn't the only trait that spreads.
Unknown Error 🎩
😁
👕👍Great!
👖
Im not sure about the about how official the role of the senior advisor to the president is, does he receive money, is he empowered to act or can it just a honorary role privately given (which I doubt) but any government employee or official who when under investigation or called on as a witness can not give more satisfying answers than "I do not recall" should at least immediately be let go as unfit for office. Either they are liars or they are mentally incompetent for holding that position. (eying over to Jeff Sessions). For gods sake elementary school kids are held to a higher standard.
And I am by no means meaning this hasn't been an issue before Trump, but under his Regime it has become the norm to shamelessly lie and dodge any responsibility. The damage this is doing to public discourse and the office is worse than most legislation he could try to pass.
Well shit lol... Not being able to remember stuff is pretty much what stupidity is.
Why argue against hillary or trump being derided? Its clear that both were abysmal candidates that made a mockery of the intricate inner workings of the constitution, lets not choose the lesser of two evils, lets reject them both please.
You sure you aren't referring to Hilary Clinton?
That Don Jr. impression is golden. "DAMMIT. I forgot the garlic knots..."
That face though..when he says Natalia...... ;D))
1:15, I am now using "twote" as the past tense conjugation for the verb "tweet".
Tweet, twote, has twoten?
chez moi Exactly
Question: "when's the last time you spoke with your father and he told you that he loved you"
Don Jr: "I can't remember, but definitely not when I spoke with him right after talking with the Russians"
Hilarious, brilliant and savage! Colbert and his writers are awesome 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I just love the way Stephen says her name, "Natalia Veselnitskaya."
9:53 Expert use of the Flashdance song there, Jon :)
"Worst case scenario Simon Cowell" 👌👌👌😂😂
Colbert running across the screen always makes me laugh
Colbert is brilliant.
HEY! It's one big video! Thanks, editor :>
DT Jr. First meeting. "I don't recall."
Second meeting. "I didn't know what is was about and I was SWEATY FROM THE GYM."
Is that what they call "selective memory loss?"
Seriously. How do you not recall so much anout a meeting you put effort into setting up and attended, but remember the reasons you didn't attend some other meeting.
Maxmartin selective memory-shitness: Half selective memory and half bullshit🤓😅
saluk Depends how many meetings you have. I was always a fan of distributing copies of the agenda before the meeting and having a secretary take notes. Same for giving classroom instruction or training.
I assume by "you faggots", you mean the lying Republicans. In which case, you're right: the Russia investigation is going to cripple them in 2018, and sink Trump if he actually decides to run again in 2020 (or is even in a position to run…).
Rake Steele
Did you just wake up from a coma. The Russia connection is a given. The Trumpanzees have been coming up with multiple explanations of why they've been dealing with the Reds for a few months now. Time to get up to speed.
Stephen, I love you, but I and all the other Russian speakers watching are collectively screaming at our screens right now: it's pronounced, in its simplest and most anglicized form, "MAH-TREE-YOH-SHKA" not "muh-trew-ska". I'm crying over here, darling.
That joke about the nesting dolls had me rolling.
Like father like son liars, liars!
Gloria C The shit didn't fall far from the asshole.😁
Great genes at work right here, folks!
This is going to be a classic monologue
You outdid yourself!! Best monologue So farr 👏 hilarious
THANK YOU WHOEVER POSTED THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE AS ONE VIDEO
Don Jr.: I cannot recall so much, that I can tell you exactly what I don't recall.
Trump: Don... don't, Don, no...
He has leaked info which has made things worse...
We, the people, also have a plan. It's an oldie, but a goodie - we're going to vote! Knew that would scare them. Great monologue, Stephen.
Love how they play Thelonious Monk's "Evidence" after the joke at 8:50.
Consuming too much Keebler Elf cookie, DJR?
"Witch hunt", Nixon July 20, 1972.
By now, and as a German happily watching this disaster from the sidelines I must say I find myself enjoying this more and more. It's like witnessing something unique, like those 2012 apocalypse parties where everyone had a perfect excuse to do the dumbest shit ever and laugh about it should we all survive.
Ilove the piano piece at the end its so melencholy and beautiful
I love Stephen Colbert and the show's writers....just the best!
Oh, please , pleeeeaase! Please keep Giuliani on and continue to let him speak with cameras rolling and audio on.
The word IS NOT collusion. The Word IS CONSPIRACY!!! USE IT.
Right. Collusion is not a crime. Conspiracy against the US is a serious crime. Conspiracy to undermine an election as well.
I agree. It's actually treason. He's working with foreign powers to undermind the country. And trump and his supporters brag about being patriotic. Stunningly stupid amount of non-self-reflection.
See there, you put the whole monologue in one video and it's easier for you, easier for all your fans, and everyone is happy. Thank you.
taking the jeff sessions approach to guilt eh? well it seemed to work for him, so why not i suppose.
outseeker if I'm ever in a courtroom, I'm going to try this approach.
Ronald Reagan said "I don't recall" or "I can't remember" 88 times during 8 hours of deposition on the Iran-contra affair. Rear Admiral Poindexter said the same thing 184 times over 5 days of questioning on the same matter. Ah, tradition.
+ CSharp - Excellent point. Well, there you go again. The wheel turns, but it makes my head spin.
CSharp: The nostalgia is overwhelming...
Alley Cat Gillis Don't forget the depositions before you even get to court. Very important.
*Guilty as sin.*
Thank you for putting the whole monologue up in one vid!!
this is the good stuff, when stephen doesn't hold back its just savage
These presidential impressions are outstanding
Great monologue!
The writing on this show is so good!!!
I always love when ‘Natalya Veselnitskya’ (dun dun!) gets a mention!
Maybe if we waterboard Don Jr. ... just a thought.
russell campbell good point, waterboard all of them, start at the top......
Depends on what kind of ‘water’ you plan to use.
russell campbell I agree with Janice K. WATERBOARD ALL OF THEM STARTING AT THE TOP or as dRUMP said I'D DO MORE THAN WATER BOARD. DON SR. QUOTE.
On the one hand, I believe that using waterboarding to gather reliable information is ineffective, not to mention unethical and immoral.
On the other hand, the current Administration seems to have no qualms with it... :p
James Smith maybe add some LSD to the water...it might make Trump more coherent.
#StupidWatergate
Drace90 #ReallyStupidWatergate
😂 😂 Colbert you’re a maniac 😂
NDL. Stephen is the funnest Late Night.
Bad Fairy Agreed
Bad Fairy NDL?
Hi Diana ; Nearly died laughing.
No wars For Israel Well, Trump just needs to shut up for a day. But he can't. He has no self control.
Stephen's on fire today..
Toilet Burgers: The full-circle experience
i’d say that there’s a pretty good chance that the man has sat on the pot eating his cheeseburger before
i just don’t want the visual
Full circle more like a split moon 🌙
Too grownup for Trump. This is more his speed: dolphinsilverwolf.deviantart.com/art/This-is-what-we-voted-for-Trump-Parody-622984317
Stephen’s on fire...love this.
The Stephen Cbert fix. So gooooood.
Is it Mueller time yet?
Sondra Zimmerly Mueller is the biggest criminal out there, fuk that deepstate piece of shit
jereme Erxleben trumptard alert
Jereme, what a sad lil fool you are. SAD!
William Jackson you all are sad watching this bull shit
Gangsters in charge of the country
Colbert killed me on this one!! I'm dead, good-byeeee cruel world! lmao
That was a great Don Jr. impression
I do not recall the presidency being a joke that it is.
Anyone recall any of this?
I don't.
well, there were a lot of people sneering at Reagan back in the day.
the "cowboy actor", but it pretty well stopped after Libya got bombed....
Misericordia well, at the time we knew it couldn't get any worse than Dubbya. Damn ! Were we wrong.
George B. Wolffsohn At least with W, we had Cheney. Not at all a fan of his. However, there was an intellectual presence there.
We now have a complete lunatic at the helm.
+Js Travelers Cheney was a fucking MONSTER though. Or need I remind you about the use of black site and torture, due to his whims?
macgeek2004 I said I was no fan. The bar was set very low.
Very low.
As bad as he was, he was sane. That's the difference.
"May I phone a friend? And quick follow up, may I have a friend?"
She's a maniac. MANIAC on the floor! Right on, Jon. 👏
Am I happy to see you back!!!! Desperate for truth from media that does not exist...