How Do I Make My Wife Feel Loved?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- How Do I Make My Wife Feel Loved?
Next Steps
📞 Ask John a question: ter.li/0pimqr
📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life: ter.li/TDJDSBNAL
📝 Anxiety Test: ter.li/6zeike
📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future: ter.li/TDJDSOYP
❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards: ter.li/TDJDSQFH
💭 John's Free Guided Meditation: ter.li/mnl8mg
Offers From Today's Sponsors
• 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp: bit.ly/3seoBCe
• 3 free months of Hallow: www.hallow.com...
• 25% off Thorne orders: www.thorne.com...
• 20% off Organifi with code DELONY: www.Organifi.c...
Listen to More From Ramsey Network
🎙️ The Ramsey Show: ter.li/3opzgn
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour: ter.li/iy4cj0
💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights: ter.li/3opzgn
💰 George Kamel: ter.li/9rrvlr
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show: ter.li/46pj7d
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights: ter.li/drmpbx
📈 EntreLeadership: ter.li/ux0fyw
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
X (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/) -
Products:
Building a Non-Anxious Life: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Couples: store.ramseyso...
Own Your Past, Change Your Future: store.ramseyso...
2025 Ramsey Goal Planner: store.ramseyso...
Total Money Makeover: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Friends: store.ramseyso...
Questions for Humans: Parents & Kids: store.ramseyso...
Baby Steps Millionaires: store.ramseyso...
Get Clear Assessment: store.ramseyso...
My first husband died very suddenly. I was only 29. I never felt the house was mine. I just lived in his house. I did not remarry until I was 41. But the year we got married, we renovated the house we live in. It is now ours. Nothing made it mine or ours until then.
Sounds like that renovation really helped
My dad taught us as children, very intentionally, that our home was not "his house." We didn't need permission to eat the food in the fridge because it was ours. I carried that into my adult life with my spouse.
Sounds like a good man 👍🏻
I tell the kids they are living in the house mommy and I bought together. Not bc I'm mean, but bc they take things for granted. I want to teach them to respect the house, not slam doors, not stomp hard when they are mad. They certainly can eat anything they like. But I also tell them when they are out of the house mommy and I still need to live there. I want them to learn I'm putting mommy first. By understanding their place they'll learn to care for mommy and daddy's stuff.
@DudeTastic13 That's a great method! My parents divorced when we were very young, Dad got sole custody, so he taught us value by teaching us how things are built and fixed. Like working on the trucks together, redoing flooring, how things need to be cleaned, etc. 😊
And I hope you can pay for and expect to take care of yourself when you're Old and don't expect anything anything from your kids if it was up to me I'd make sure and find the lowest rated one to put you in if i was your kids@@DudeTastic13
My husband lost his wife to cancer 2.5 years before we got together. I was very hesitant to start something with him, because I didn't want to feel like I was just filling in for her. In hindsight, I don't believe he was over her death, and it took about 3 years into our relationship for him to get to a place where he didn't make me feel like I would be put on the shelf if she miraculously came back to life. The one saving grace was that he moved to my country, so we weren't living in 'their house' and in 'their village'. This guy really should have seen a grief counsellor before getting into any relationship.
You don't deserve your husband. I hope he leaves you
Very true - new relationships need a new residence. It's healthy for both partners & the relationship overall. I am surprised JD didn't address this topic.
If I divorced my wife, found a new woman, married her and I moved into her house or apartment, then I still would feel that it was her place, whatever she said.
The best thing to do is to sell your house and together find a new house. Starting a new home makes it easier for your wife to feel that it's her, and it makes it easier for you to break your habit of calling things "my...". I think that is just a habit you acquired after your first wife died. I don't think there is any deeper psychology behind that.
Yes. I moved in with my boyfriend in his house, since it's bigger, but it's still the house he lived in with his ex-wife and daughter. Now we're talking about moving to a new house that suits us all and provides for all our needs. I think that's the right solution. 😊
I agree unless financially, because of interest rates and stuff, they don’t want to move. Maybe they should just renovate or something like that. Or redecorate. That could also help.
Credit to him, at least he cares.
My boyfriend says “I will go to” never “we” bothers me so much
He's aware, but he doesn't care enough about her (he's not in love with her) to naturally intertwine himself with the idea that they're "we". He still sees themselves as separate. He's got issues. Shouldn't have gotten married till he resolved them.
@@AC-ly6tgso? You're not married to him. He doesn't owe you this.
@@user_abcxyzzWhy doesn't he owe her that? She's not insisting that he speaks of assets in this way, just that he speaks of his life in that way. You know because he may be legally single but he's not single single. Common sense. Why would I want to marry someone who doesn't think I'm a part of his life?
Why are we giving credit to the bare minimum of being humane? This is not good.
I'm hoping the caller reads this comment: when you lose someone you love with your entire being it's the first time that you realize you are in this world ON YOUR OWN. Even when you're married you realize your partner cannot help you or be there for you like you thought they could be. You realize your choices are solely your own. I truly believe what you went through is an awakening to this and your subconsciousness has shifted to this mentality. It's not necessarily bad since it is the truth.
If they are living in the same house he shared with his deceased wife, they need to sell it and buy a new one together. She needs to be lady of the house. Give her her swagger.
That’s a good point! In an extreme example, I pet sat at a house once where the guy’s ex wife was BURIED IN THE BACK YARD. I can’t imagine what the new wife felt living in that house!
My dad basically turned his house into a shrine to my mom after she died in 2008.
He remarried about 6 years later to one of my mom’s best friends. She is an amazing woman and was always like a second mom to me when I was growing up and my sisters and I were thrilled when her and my dad got married.
The problem was that my dad never let her be the “woman of the house”. He wouldn’t allow her to touch my mom’s things, not even to dust them. She was not allowed to redecorate. She was not allowed to make the house hers. My sisters and I saw how much this bothered her and we felt bad but we couldn’t do anything about it.
Mind you, my stepmom LOVED my mom like a sister but she was gone at that point and what my dad did to my stepmom wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t have had to live in my mom’s shadow.
My dad passed away in 2021. My sisters and I still keep contact with our stepmom.
@@lisamoul263 I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful you still have your Step-Mom.
agreed! i went through this! what a lesson!!
When my husband (then boyfriend) and I first moved in together there were definitely adjustments and frustrations as we learned to cohabitate. We decided to write/draw gratitude notes to each other and put them in a jar and at the end of the week we dumped all the notes out and read them to each other. We never needed to do it again but I still have the jar with those notes from years ago. ♥️
I think it would be a good idea for them to sit down and discuss having new beginnings, and looking into purchasing a new home just for them.
I believe so too
I cannot relate to this caller whatsoever; however, I am QUICKLY taking the gratitude advice from the end of the video. This is so simple, yet so major.
My husband used to do this a lot. "My house", "my bed", etc. I moved in to his house after we got married, and it made me feel very unwelcome. He made good money, I was still in school, it was very unequal and I felt like he was pointing this out, like I owed him. And I did try to be extra sweet and loving to "repay" him. This was extremely damaging to our relationship, even though he wasn't trying to do that. He thought of it like "take this, I share it with you" not realizing that if he shares it with me on a case-by-case basis, by definition it's not mine.
And I was too young to get married, I was dumb and naive and starry-eyed. I would very strongly discourage my own children to go into an uneven situation like that. I'm still a bit hurt that my parents, and even his family, didn't see any problems with our situation and point it out to me.
How’s it going now?
Ew… we live like 30 years longer than they do. He’s not gonna have anyone there to wipe his a$$ (and he deserves to be stuck with a cold A.I.)
Gross. We outlive these people by like 30 years on average. Not a good move on his part
I agree with you. I see more women today refuse to move into their “husband’s home”. They ask to find a home that belongs to both of them.
I get it. No one wants to feel like the visitor in their home. It is uncomfortable. Doesn’t feel stable or secure.
It's nit anyone's hob to point it out to you 😂 that's YOUR job. Anyways you should have seen the signes of his selfishness during the dating stages. And after marriage should have pushed for a new home together, to start a new...he could have either sold HIS property or held it as rental income. You sounded pretty d.u.m.b
Many who comment don’t listen to the show.
There was solid advice shared here. Guy needs to look at some things differently. Hope he takes it to heart, so he can do his part to move into a great marriage.
I wish John would have asked for the new wife call in at the same time.
Man, you don't let people be what they are! Your late wife was not 'fun' - that's not the right description. she was a significant fighting partner in the ring of life. And that is why I would guess you are not over her death. If so, you could say what she really was and what she meant to you.
And the same is valid for your new wife: what is she to you? You can admit that - whatever it is.
We can love several people in different ways. There is no shame to it.
I think it’s more of a response to not breaking down emotionally. I know when describing people that I loved who passed away I try to keep it short and seeet because if not I will start to cry. It shows that he his still hurting over his ex.
My husband and I both need more words of affirmation from each other and I think this book idea is genius and would work well for us. Going to give it a go.
I’ll be honest. I can’t relate to this one. The day I got a place with my wife it was always “we” and “ours.” Didn’t feel unnatural or difficult at all.
I think this is just a case of transitioning from a caretaker role in a traumatic situation to single to now having to see yourself as in a partnership... Meanwhile, she is having to transition from a trampled on role with a maniac to running the entire show as a single person for ages... And then trying to smash those two fiercely independent people together hahhahahaha. That can still work out, but it is soooo messy at first. After all that trauma, it's so damn hard to just unclench your booty for lack of a better term. I sure know that feeling. And its alright as long as everyone knows that is what is happening.
Its hard to go from survival mode to just relaxing into it. You have to make it conscious.
Human behavior is almost 100% learned from other people, circumstances or experiences.
If you didn't have the right role models or non at all to learn from just watch some movies and copy what ever you think would work.
You can literally teach yourself to be loving, kind and also affectionate and caring.
Fake it until you make it - in this case fake it until you feel it.
Then enjoy the heck out of it!
The problem with that is that when you fake it, you know you're faking it because you don't feel it and you don't want to get stuck in a trap of living a lie your whole life bc you're afraid to be real and confess your mistake
It sounds like he got with his 2nd wife because he was lonely, he accumulated what he has with his 1st wife so he definitely sees things as his.
I don't agree because he's at least calling into the show and trying to get it figured out
The John Delony show is so great. I watch everyday!
Sometimes things are just habits and habits are hard to break. It could be she just loves her husband and is anxious about him loving his first wife more and is looking for things he might do or say to tell her that. I sometimes feel bad because “we” have a big garden at our house. It was my idea, I plan it, I plant it, I mainly harvest it, I put up the produce. I love the garden. But my husband does all the heavy lifting in hauling dirt and mulch. I will call it my garden and I sometimes feel bad about it. I know it’s ours but I take a more personal interest in it than he does so it feels like mine. He may have helped her start a business that she runs and she calls it her business because it is hers with his help. Does she say “my business” if so, you could point that out to her. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t think you are a huge part of it.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Maybe sell that house and buy one together to make theirs❤
Sell or rent out
Think it like this. Its not "my" anything. Not yours. Not hers. Neither of you can take anything with you after death. You can only give what you truly posess to give... love, kindness, attention, your truth..
Acts of service, to her, you don't know how that will affect her, on the positive
At this point what was “his” and his last wife’s doesn’t matter he needs to learn to stop differentiating, this is a new phase of life. She shouldn’t have to earn the right to have a say. She’s your wife you are a team and she should’ve to compete w what you had.
So this is a really interesting case. Second marriages are always very interesting because, to me, there are more ways to be in a 2nd marriage, depending on the partners' ages, individual financial situations before getting married, respective children, and other factors. It's not as cut and dried as a first marriage, where people tend to follow a more traditional script.
For example, when people decide to get married late in life (e.g. 50s or older), I think it's perfectly OK to have a frank discussion about whose house to live in (if they each have their own), who owns what, what may be passed down to each partner's children (in the case of blended families), and so on. Having this discussion is better than NOT having it, and it may be a good idea to do a prenup. When you're older, you've passed the stage of rearing children, and naturally you want to do the best for your own children as does your partner for *their* own children.
Just listen to James Sexton, the influential divorce lawyer, on this topic. He's an expert on marriage breakdown and divorces.
So second marriages may look very different than first ones, and that's perfectly OK when both parties agree to it.
its all in the fingers. practice makes perfect.
Another guy yesterday sounded just like him, similar story, must be a doppelganger
I think it's the same one. Kinda bummed it's not new, but it is what it is. Booooo!!
He posts the full episodes and then the next day he posts the individual clips from it
He said they share everything together, but sometimes he refers to some things as mine. I don't see this as wrong, as some things are his. He shouldn't beat himself up saying everything is ours, yet when it comes to the kids, those are her kids and not their kids. If she moved into the home, yeah, it's his home until her name is on the deed. I really wished this man wouldn't have married her and just took the time to grieve.
If he had kids before (yes, his kids and not their kids), then he screwed them over by getting married. If he dies first, all the money will go to her and she'll then pass it down to her kids instead of it going to his kids. I get the concept of ours, but with some things, they are yours and mine, and not ours. And he's funneling money to support her in what is seemingly a failing business just to give herself something to do. It's a lot of red flags here and feels more like a charity case and chasing high school feelings and nothing seems real here. It's beyond yours, mine, and ours. The first wife was the better wife. He knows it and she knows it too. There's your problem. She's never going to measure up.
You nailed it.
-He didn’t screw over the kids necessarily. He could set up a trust fund for them and a separate one for her if so chooses.
-Most small businesses take at least 10 years to be truly profitable. She could always do a side job in the meantime. A conversation for them to have.
-Is she also helping raise all the kids (his and hers from previous marriages)? Or are they all grown adults? There is a lot we don’t know.
Harsh but true!
@popcorn58138 the children most likely aren't completely grown. They were married 12 years when she died pre-covid, so that would be about 17 years ago. Children would most likely be younger. New wife's also probably close to age of his children's since the couple are the same age, and she was divorced for six years when they reunited.
You are so aweson Doc!,
Did the new wife and kids move into the home he made with his first wife? If so, sell and move so they make a new home.
Did anyone else catch the ‘we’ when he referred to him and his previous wife about her passing?
My boyfriend lets me drive HIS car and it’s in his name and all that but he always says our car and our whatever because he always wants me to feel included and secure and the only time he gets mad about his car is if something almost happens like last week when an idiot almost hit me, but even then he never says my car or my apartment. He always says ours.
The issue is there are three people in that marriage. That is the bigger problem.
💯 100%!!!!
He’s funding her “business” and has the nerve to claim he isn’t giving her the “autonomy” to do her own thing.
Wow he married fast
Statistically, men remarry within 2-3 years of the death of a spouse 😢
Sometimes it’s just trauma. My dad got remarried within 2-3 years, he was ruined emotionally after my mom died. It really helped the situation purely practical and get some joy/company but I don’t think it usually fair to the new person. My dad still can’t talk or mention stuff about mom without getting emotional and become distant in thoughts. So sometimes just meeting someone is a solution to not be lonely and get some company, but it will not be the same. It’s good though for the individual who has lost someone because it makes them happier but not as fun for the other person.
Obviously some very hurt people in the comments 😅
I do agree that the man should take a protector / provider place in a relationship.
This DOES NOT mean they make all the money, do all the work, treat you like a dependant.
You are always a team! Equals! With different strengths and weaknesses. With these you work together to care for each other. If the man takes this position then the woman should be the soft spot, the kindness & compassion to guide the mans strong energy.
With this set up you will sometimes switch roles to support your partner! We all know this at our core we just let the worlds view on what a perfect relationship is. They don't exist! Its always hard! You choose then everyday 💗
Funny how the subconscious knows damn straight that hell yea of course it is all his stuff. Saying "mine" would be naturally true.
Ask her.
Keep going to a good Christian Church for about a year to keep learning, sitting and listening who Christ says we are in Him. 46 years of marriage and we find all our identity IN Him and not out in this world 🌍
MENS/ Woman’s BBS keep opening UP HIS WORD and do the work and lean on Him and what He tells us. How to live in this world 🌍 through what He tells us all, look up. God, Husband and wife. ✝️🙏🏻⚔️🎶🔑✝️🙏🏻👆👆👆🌹❤️
QUESTION: Did new wife move into Emily's home? Also, new wife needs to work on, "You make me feel". No, own your feelings and pinpoint the trigger.
I am 78 my wife is 76. We go at it like crazied chimpmonks on speed 4 nights a week😮
Why?
@@tundeterez why? How do you mean?
@@DeeLee-p8c Why do we care about that, that's private
Bahahahahahahah
@@loveli420 still bonking like a pair of frantic monkees on speed. Im 78 my wife is 76 she looks 60!!!😅😅😅😅😊
Hard to think about how to make my wife feel loved when she has made our 22 year marriage sexless for the last 15. Simply says it' not important to her, so I am not important to her. Therefore - I don't try to make her happy, that's her issue, her problem and not my concern any longer.
Would you let her leave if she wanted to?
So... you just live unhappy? Weird.
But I guess that's your decision.
@@amyshomesteadanimals 5 years until the kids are out of the home.
@@Hello-vf9ue we have discussed, that's not the case. This is some sort of major Avoidant dissociation
You sound hurt and bitter! Tried marriage counseling? If she won’t go, u go to therapy! Do ur best not to be bitter, but seek to be wiser!
Your kids know this is an unloving marriage and this affects them, and will affect their future relationships!
You should know your wifes live language, buddy! Supposed to learn what that is duting the early dating stages! 😂😂😂 ahhh man! clueless. Too many un-deserving ppl are married, for what??
Why is your name Jeffrey Dahmer? Why so many typos? Are you ok?
@darncash2056 its an alias and i change it frequently. Im too lazy to proof read. I could edit it but im too lazy to do that too. Yes I'm OK.
I hate when my girl says “my son.” it’s OUR son
If this guy did not have so much money…… this woman would never be with him.
How do I make my wife feel loved? I used to care about such crap!
The best way…for all of them? I learned after 8 yrs. married and divorced in 2017!!!
DON’T MARRY THEM!!! That’s the best way to love them!
Don’t marry them!
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
I see why she got the divorce. Good for her.
Well he moved on so fast. That's why I always prioritize my hobbies and career over washing the dishes 😂
12 years with his previous wife, and he refers to her as "she was fun." This guy is so over his late wife, BUT she actually contributed to their marriage and the current wife is just taking and they are even having negative income due to her business.
I don't think he's completely over her. I think he's trying his best to downplay her importance in the event his current wife hears the podcast which is a pretty high likelyhood
@@GameChanger597 you're right. He isn't completely over his first wife. He has some stages of grief to get through.
In today’s climate I always question sudden illness with No answers. It’s suspicious, he sounds younger so his wife was younger as well I assume. Odd
He sounds very paternalistic. What's the age difference? Also, she's not second best--what he had to settle for after his first wife died. He should figure out why she is inherently valuable.
Well when she inevitably divorces you it will be her generator
Welcome home by the way but we're never home
Why does it matter? You may say one thing but if you both understand that’s not what you mean or the intent, maybe just a lag in programming… is there even an issue?
what for a weirdo guy ! He seems completely disconnected from his emotions or he lacks compassion and empathy 🙃
He is bad for saying my and mine? Men are absolutely screwed over. Sick.
Was getting married also her idea? Just date.
He was probably loney and it was his idea
Maybe don’t live in the same home you bought with the first wife.
You need to say our things not yours.
So basically, his stuff is "their" stuff😂😂😂I sure hope she doesn't screw him over in the end
"oh she was fun"....that is his response, wtf? I feel like we are going to be hearing about this guy again in a few years on the show 48hours when the "misterious" death of his ex is being investigated. 😨
Man😂 I think sometimes people aren’t fully capable of saying a lot about someone they lost. That line actually made me think he wasn’t fully past it.
@@hazykuriboh222 Probably because he hasn't been caught yet.
@tundeterez that's such a bold statement about a guy that simply has a coping mechanism that looks different than your own.
@hazykuriboh222 Possibly, one can only speculate at all the different variables/probabilities with minimal data. "she was fun" coping mechanism, is it for coping with some kind guilt or the loss or both? 🤔
Ma
“@‘
Number 2 remains number 2 in whatever context. So sorry for you Madam.
He married a single Mom. Huge L for him. 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
You can't "make" someone feel loved. If she feels lees than, that's her own internal issue
Anybody else think homeboy murdered his first wife
Right? I was like, "Do I watch too much 48hrs, or did he just describe an unsolved murder?" 😬