*ALSO* these are the 'can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' girls. I've actually known 2 different girls with that quote tattooed on their body.
my jaw actually dropped when the last girl was mad because his girlfriend got HOSPITALIZED and he stayed with her instead of going to football or w/e the fuck it was like WHAT?????????? I couldn't believe it
and she planned a party a couple of days out from the date and expected him to drop everything and come??? he literally told her if she just told him earlier he would’ve been able to come,, how self entitled is she???
When my mom was giving birth to me in the hospital room, my dad was more concerned about watching a basketball game. He legit missed seeing me being born because he was watching the tv in the room
Agreed. Kindness is deeper and if I had to choose, I would definitely rather associate with someone who is kind but not nice than someone who is nice but not kind.
People say, "I only exist when others need me." And " Nobody checks up on me." While texting her best friend only when she wants to vent and never checking up on anyone.
as a bi, i can confidently confirm that stating "i hate men" on a dating app while trying to find and attract a man is incredibly counterproductive and won't bring a man to the table who isn't loaded with insecurities
That's why I get so fucking angry when anyone, even sarcastically (I'm autistic, cant pick up on sarcasm) says stuff like that. Like bruh, who are you attracting by insulting and degrading them. (Well, if that's your thing, just find someone who wants it).
@@icravedeath.1200 I mean I’m autistic too and I kinda agree. Saying “I hate all men” when your trying to attract a guy, is fucking stupid. But saying it bc you’ve been raped, abused, and only had bad experiences with men, even if it’s not literal (not sarcastic but it’s weird idk) I don’t really care about that
People got bored of hating on 'not like other girls' and now they're hating on 'nice girls'. Instead of directing those women and girls to see their internalised misogyny, and addressing our own internalised misogyny from the entertainment we get out of making fun of those women
@@Ri57490 lol girl bye. Those girls stay making fun of other girls but when we start to make fun of it y’all try to turn this shit around? I ain’t never seen y’all say anything about these men smh y’all always wanna start shit. You mad cuz you a “nice girl” or something?
@@Ri57490 in a broad sense sure, but when it comes down to it, if someone acts like a schmuck they're gonna get teased. Like there is an underlying internalized misogyny, but if someone starts hurting other people, they open themselves up to criticism, no matter their gender.
@@Kei-X2 Definitely, unfortunately right now I'm in an unfulfilling shit phase and whenever I try to take a shit after painfully holding it all that comes out is gas and then 10 min later I feel like shitting again.
It is fascinating, isn't it? People appropriating such a benign word as "nice" to describe themselves (they have to tell you, because their actions don't reflect it.) And because of that, the word has been redefined. Language is just cool.
Ok but the “I’m deciding to be evil” post is funny as fuck y’all. “I’ve decided from now on I’m going to be evil and malicious. Have a great day! Toodles!” Like what the fuck lmao
ok but the "i've decided it's in my best interest to be evil" thing struck me as so funny like. that is the kind of thing i'd say ironically to my friends to cope after having a day full of minor inconveniences and petty annoyances
I’ve seen you on youtibe plenty of times before but EVERY SINGLE time ur Jack Kelly pfp brings me flashbacks to my old Newsies phase. Also I also love the fan!
Last girl's definitely in love with him but repressing the hell out of it. It's totally normal to feel loss when a very close friend gets in a relationship and has less time for you. But thinking you're being wronged when they prioritise their SO over you? Either you're narcissistic and need to control everyone in your life or you're in love with them.
I think she's narcissistic and uses him. She wants to be the priority because she's used to it. His girlfriend is obviously going to be a bigger priority. Wanted to keep on leash but be free to do whatever she wanted.
I mean, it doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic thing. She does seem like she could be obsessed, and there is a chance she does have a crush, but one can be obsessed or possessive without love and/or romantic attraction.
@@hyperboles6563 While that is true, it's the fact that the post was about his girlfriend that implies romantic undertones. If she had mentioned a similar case with a family member or another friend, then we might be able to infer that she was possessive in a platonic or familial way. The fact that she was mad that he prioritized his SO screams envy
Maybe part of it is as a kid, especially a little girl, we are sometimes told that our once and needs are unimportant, or we get punished for wanting things or having feelings that are inconvenient for the adults around us, so we stop ourselves from saying, I want this/I feel this way, if we don’t think that’s how we should feel, but we don’t have the self-awareness to not take it out on people and be upset at them for not understanding that without us, being able to put it into words
It’s almost as if nice guys and nice girls are incapable of being genuine good people, so they decided to reclaim the word “nice” and use it as a toxic way to feel entitled in a relationship, but we decide to use it as an insult for them instead. It’s pretty hilarious and disgusting at the same time lmao.
So...I think people who don't have a strong sense of self and have poor boundaries would have a difficult time describing their own positive attributes. So it makes sense...
@@rachelk4805 true, especially people who would think their partner shares similar feelings and expectations in the relationship without feeling the need to communicate it properly.
Basically, people who are actually nice don't need to tell you they are, their actions will speak for themselves. That's why it's always a red flag when someone talks up how they're so good or something
I think if someone describes themself as a nice they're probably a menace. If they describe themself with a nice trait like polite or kind or friendly then they're probably fine.
I think it's partly because niceness is a vague enough term for someone to have a different idea of how to be nice when describing themselves than what we expect from the description. Nice traits tend to be more specific and so it's harder for someone to describing themselves with said traits to have a different idea of how to have those traits than what we expect.
Listen I'm a touch-starved mentally ill le$bian and if I had the choice I'm always going for the mean girl with the confidence to crush me under her platform heels like bÜg
It does suck when we go through stuff in life. As someone who didn't feel adequate enough in high school, I would recommend talking to social worker and a therapist. It's best to work on your insecurities and make sure you don't get into this mindset that everyone owes you something, because you feel insecure. I remember some days I would tell myself I'm going to be mean and cruel the next day I go to school. I didn't follow up with it, because I knew it wouldn't help anything. Escaping that mindset isn't easy, but it sure feels cathartic to communicate properly and recognize where your insecurities come from.
I'm not gonna lie the nice girls as a group seem less consistent in definition than the nice guys. Like the nice guy trope is men declaring that their presentation of niceness is inherently deserving of sex or romance. The nice girl examples seem like a wide variety of asshole women. Like some of them are internally misogynist, like the ones who say being emotional is a 'female trait'. Some are proudly money hungry, even though the nice girls are not supposed to be money hungry. Like the one looking for a man with '6 figs' or whatever. Others are self obsessed victims who think being mistreated by men is a personality trait. And then there's the "if you don't like me at my worst" blah blah women who seem like mean girls that expect for their meanness to be accepted. Like I agree with the notion that these are all problematic, but I wouldn't call these "nice girls" by the definition you provided. Not in the same way we can all say we know what a "nice guy is". Don't know why I just gave this full on analysis, I'll go to bed now.
I've always kept my personal definition limited to the ones who expect a relationship by virtue of existing, and actually believe that all men only want one thing all the time, non-stop. To me, there are no other qualifying people.
I don’t know, I think some people just don’t know how to set boundaries for themselves, and don’t have the maturity to know that’s why they get upset when their partner doesn’t do what they want/need
I noticed that most of them have this idea that a consensual sex without comitment means that the man used them ugh that phrase is so annoying or that they are owed a relationship for a hookup
That last one made me so uncomfortable holy cow! That lady needs a reality check like at some point you need to realize this person doesn’t like you in that way.
yeah i have to admit that the hardest I've gotten second-hand embarrassment in a while. I can't believe there are people who actually think and act like that
It's in contrast to nice guys. It has nothing to do with downplaying emotional abuse, but rather it was a comparison between the aggressiveness (and sometime fatal) reactions that women recieve from "nice guys" and the more relaxed reaction of the "nice girl". Although both examples are important in their OWN right, most people would undoubtedly prefer dealing with emotional damage than physical.
you know what you did. You deserve to have your phone hidden in the ceiling and be left at the altar and have your girlfriend leave you for a skeleton. I hope you get a starring role in your dream play and then your phone rings in your pocket and ruins it. I hope you invite your old a cappella group to perform at your office and sing your signature song and then somebody else sings it instead of you. I hope you fall in a lake while wearing a sumo suit and start to float away And nobody will help you even though they see you. I hope the worst moment of your life goes viral and somebody makes a songify of it, which also goes viral. I hope you get a new boss at work and you accidentally hurt yourself on your first day and he cracks up and calls you the funny guy and so you have to keep hurting yourself to make a good impression. I hope your brother makes a heartwarming video, singing a duet with your father and you try to repeat it, and your brother just ends up one upping you again. All these things must happen so that you can reshape your identity, and become one of the most infamous Tumblr sexy men of all time people will ship you with yourself because you’re just that amazing and everyone will wanna be you literally. They will create an entire universe where you are the only thing that matters.
That and also actual mysoginy. Some guys like to apply the opinions of one girl to another as if women are a monolith and then get fustrated if it isn't the case and call women complicated
@@dream-lh4pc Of course, we also can't forget those who were exclusively around women of this type during their formative years, or were in abusive relationships in the past. Those men exist and their experiences can warp their perspective of reality.
@@eMorphized ya... I wouldn't want those types of experiences to make someone stupid though. Unless you have only ever met two women, it shouldn't be an issue when you get older. Those thoughts afterwards are most likely compounded by what other people tell you you should think. I've met a lot of shitty men. I've met neutral men. I've met some cool men. The shitty ones don't make me treat my peers like shit. Their experiences are valid. What they do after that isn't. That is if they are generally rude, dismissive, and expectant. Which is what Nice guys are. My father was heavily abused by his mom. That would never give him a pass to abuse me, his daughter, or my mom. He didn't, luckily. Not emotionally, or physically. Bad experiences don't give you a pass to be a bad person.
12:01 as someone who naturally comes off as aloof, being reserved is not a cute and quirky personality trait. It’s a genuine defense mechanism that I can’t really control. “I have decided its in my best interest to be evil, jaded, and reserved” lmao okay joker origin story.
It read as if you are referring Reserved as evil, but luckily I read it better, the other phrase was directed to the Nice Girls, not the Reserved right?
I am a logical-type and possibly autistic so I tend to come off as looking like a serial killer when I am alone or uncomfortable. If I am comfortable then that completely dissolves.
Apparently a few of them still survived the push back against the “not like other girls” phenomenon. Like cockroaches surviving a nuclear explosion. 😭 and worse some of them are grown women who haven’t left behind their teenage “not like other girls” phase
“We can’t be together 24/7, sleep together or GO ON DATES.” “”A girl that he had just started dating took MY PLACE.” “I am not in love with him. I don’t want to be with him.” WHAT
as a man who has been stabbed by a "Nice Girl" I assure you they are not just an annoyance to be swept aside. like I recognise that woman are Far more likely then men to be killed by their partner but it can happen the other way.
@@sindelscat9336 Statistically, that's not true. But I see your point; I think Annamarie and many others in the special type of feminism who say they want equality but really want superiority, really downplay the severity of women abusing men. They say that society is structured to support male abuse of women, but I don't believe that society is structured that simply that it definitively does one thing. While facets of it are misogynistic, other facets are misandrist.
@@gymnasticsgirlie0647 this was a year ago, and I didn't do as much research as I probably should have. I'd have in fact recently gone back and try to do any research on it and unfortunately there hasn't any credible reported stat done on this topic, I don't know why I typed that, but either way.
@@gymnasticsgirlie0647 I think under a patriarchy men suffer because "being a man" can't possibly mean you're a victim of female violence. The stigma around male victims leads to underreporting bc people shame male victims bc men "let a girl beat them up". By breaking that stigma, more men would stand up about their abuse. I don't think Annamarie is calling for superiority, if she did she wouldn't have made this video. Through feminism this social stigma could lessen and everyone would feel more comfortable coming forward.
I actually get the girl who said "I have anger issues but im a sweetheart", I do have anger issues too, I'm bipolar and when Im on a episode, I can get very agressive, and I didnt knew Im bipolar untill I was 19. I got mad very fast and for very stupid reasons, but at the same time, when Im not on a episode, I'm a really calm and sweet person. Maybe some of this girls just dont know they have real issues, that need to be treated with a therapist
Finally, a nice girls video that doesn't try to excuse nice girls behavior or feel sorry for them. Shitty behavior is shitty behavior, no matter what is between your legs.
As someone who inherits anger issues form my father and keeping everything inside from my mother. I can tell you its not cute or quirky to have anger issues, or keeping it inside. It fucking hurts, you and others around you whether you keep it inside or explode at others. its not fun to constantly carry around 6 years of pent up rage.
Yes! I hate it when people try to act like them being a bit snappy is equal to having anger issues. I have a page in my diary from when I was 9 years old saying „Why do I break everything I touch?“ My anger issues alienated me so much from my peers and family to the point where I didn’t have *any* person my age who liked me. But yeah totally quirky and fun
Nice Girl: "men don't get their heart broken because they lack emotions" Me, after just waking up from a dream about my ex who left 2 years ago and I haven't seen since: "huh"
Actually I don't really agree with that, the post said that she is "sick of being the nice girl, who only exists when others need her" For me it means (I think) that she is tired of always sacrificing herself for others, especially for people that uses her without caring about her. This is frankly the case with my sister and my mother, they are really nice people who always do everything to accommodate others without asking anything in return but respect and sometimes people exploit that and use them because they know that they are selfless and forgiven, it's very easy to take advantage of that kind of people who are trully nice. Just saying that I can understand why you can be sick of being used by people just because you are nice, however it's how I view this one, I might be wrong. (love your video):)
I agree with your interpretation cuz I can relate, lol. But it's also the "nice girl's" responsibility to actually vocalize their wants and needs so they don't fall into those toxic patterns. People don't know how the nice girls are really feeling if they don't say anything, and that can cause a feeling resentment overtime cuz of the imbalance of reciprocity, hence why they feel "exploited." But it's tough because girls are socialized to be polite and proper and caring, and it's reinforced when society still views women who stand up for themselves as cringe.
It’s a good thing I recognized and starting working on these traits in myself a while ago, otherwise I would feel extremely called out by this. Dodged that bullet
So in the end, we all need to just be humanly decent for the sake of it. And then, maybe start looking for a relationship that’s healthy and the two can be honest, healthy and loving each other.
i dated a nice girl once. she was super toxic and manipulative towards the end of the relationship, and even when i broke up with her she decided to still harass me and my friends :/
@@AnnamarieForcino lol np at all, just had alot of similarities to "nice" girls and it felt like a personal attack xD but yeah, great vid as ever ^-^ love your content
Whenever I listen to nice girl / nice guy stuff it reminds me of things people in my friendship group would say in our teens, but then we got our various mental health issues under control and grew out of it...I hope that they resolve or learn to move past this but it gets a bit sad when they're in their mid 20s / 30s still doing it. Great content and I love the fan :)
took me a long time to realize a couple of my exes were nice girls, in fact, they were abusive. the attitude around abusive relationships when the victins is a dude, also is iffy at best, so took way more than it should have.
Ya, I had two friends whose ex's were really creepy. I'd be nice to them. But it was scary man. This was in highschool so the behavior was bound to be worse. One of them even asked me, "do you have a crush on him?" Like bro- she was like, panicked. In those situations it's always so hard to know what to say. I knew these people had previously been shitty to my friends. All I could do was support them, and discourage them from going back. Crazy ex's are really freaky. Especially terrifying in this case because one of my friends was really suicidal, and I knew he could be easily manipulated by a bad faith party. I wish you the best. You deserve a person who respects your boundaries and humanity.
Im a nice girl, i have severe introversion and is trying to teach myself how to say "NO" this was amazing motivation. Always need Anna to teach me life lessons, because she may just be the only wise person in my life. Shes really helped me grow a personality beyond im just nice and quite, like i only know basic things like the fact that sexism exist like from a sheltered all black family/country racism never really existed to me 2 years ago. Ive really been speeding through learning about "the real word".
I think the damage a "nice girl" can do is understated and underestimated because of its subtlety. The way a "nice girl" reacts by engaging in reputation attacks can damage people's lives and relationships with others.
I hate when the Nice Girls use Harley Quinn… she’s a victim of the Joker’s abuse who eventually freed herself from the Joker’s abuse and got a new lease on life (even if it’s in a less than legal context). She doesn’t define herself as a victim of the Joker, not like these girls with their victim complexes.
"Nice" is just a label that they put on themselves to excuse their bad actions. You can be "nice" without being kind. "Nice" and "kind" are not the same thing. "Nice" is a label, "kind" is an action. "Nice" only describes how you want other people to see you. It doesn't describe how you treat others.
my abusive sister in law posted that "im the spawn of satan when im mad but when im happy i bake cookies" shit on facebook once. and she is. she did make me wish i had never been born
2:57 You were explaining nice girls, and I got worried for a second because I was like, "Oh no, this sounds like me," but then I realized what the main difference is. I have difficulty setting boundaries and being honest about what I want. But unlike a nice girl I don't blame my partners for not knowing what I want. Because I didn't tell them. Communication problems are flaws that can be worked on. But if you constantly push them onto others and blame them for your shortcomings then you're never gonna get better and all your relationships will just make you miserable.
I have a friend that had a heart attack due to "broken heart syndrome", after his divorce. I hate the stereotype that men don't have the same emotions.
Around a year ago me and my longest relationship girlfriend broke up, and I can say it still stings. Your own feelings are very powerful, regardless of what gender you are.
I vehemently disagree about nice girls not being dangerous. I’ve personally experienced nice girls that have gone off the deep end and become abusive stalking dangerous mthrfkr . They are not to be underestimated
the whole "i want no to mean yes" dynamic can work in a realistic and healthy way, but these women dont know how. step 1: start normally in the relationship. step 2: have a serious, sit down talk. mention that sometimes you mean the opposite of what you say, or would want to be pressured when you say no in some cases. if you seriously talk about this, you can set up those boundries and explain how you enjoy faux mind games like this, because sometimes it can be hot to be pressured into something if you and your partner are consenting with that pressure. you can set up a phrase that your partner can ask to know if its really consenting or not in that moment without you having to explicitly say yes or no (my relationship has "colors?" as the question and i can either verbally answer green or red, or i can use asl to say g or r as a different form of yes and no, because saying yes and no specifically can be tough for me because of past experiences but we can maintain consent) that way, if you say "leave me alone, i dont want to talk rn", your partner can ask a phrase that wont bring you out of the moment but can still tell them if you actually want to be left alone or if you want them to beg you to stay. consent matters, and so does staying happy, and this can solve both of those issues. theres work arounds to every problem in a relationship, it just requires communication and trust. if this helped anyone who wants to act bratty in a relationship but didnt know how, im glad i could help you. remember, if you feel unsure about something in your relationship or you arent happy, serious talks can help just make sure you ASK if you can have that serious talk, since your partner may not be in the mood for it or have the time. you need to keep a level head, because getting into a fight wont fix anything that a calm talk can
i'm a guy and i kinda disagree with the "saying no means yes sometimes" thing outside of roleplaying or acting or any scenario where i'm 1000 percent certain what my partner says is the opposite of what she means because for me irl i feel it would just further complicate things and it would make both me and my partner walk on eggshells. To me that just sounds like a perfect recipe for a relationship that would crash and burn, ending badly both for me and her. The colour system you devised sounds wonderful though, sounds like a great way to deal with miscommunications if they happen. And honestly I cannot emphasize how hard I agree with you on having a calm, serious talk when things get difficult. I seriously do not understand why it's so hard for many people to do that lol.
@@VillaCarrington It's called communication. Just because it doesn't work for you, that doesn't make your opinion universal. Some people enjoy roleplaying like that, hence the use of safe-words and catchphrases so that the partner knows when and when not to push. Think of it as verbal BDSM
Can I just say that as a New Yorker, I absolutely love your accent! It could be NJ or Long Island instead of the city, but either way I'm here for NYC metro area accent representation!!
GOD when you said 'yeah Caity youre the spawn of satan for reposting Harley Quinn on your timeline' I jumped as a Caitlin who likes Harley Quinn as a character
To the first post: This is a mindset/problem that I sometimes struggle with as well. If I feel down, I tend to only open up after being asked several times - even if I truly want to open up, I'll probably say no the first time I'm asked. My boyfriend always accepts my first answer (which is actually such a great quality), but in this case it means that he'll ask if I'm fine, I'll say yes even tho I'm not and he takes that as the final answer. This can make me feel upset and like he doesn't care about me. I realise this is a problem tho and I'm trying to work on it.
14:32 as a person who often gets too angry over situations, crazy angry people don’t post it. The seem chill 90% of the time until some guy rear ends you at a stop sign and then cry about it later cause “wow I was so angry, why am I so horrible”
16:42 Girl, if he was really your best friend he would've been asking about your birthday anyways 👀 It's probably one of those crappy school friendships where you werent actually as close as YOU thought you were and the person finally starts to express that instead of just stringing you along. Its time to grow up and get some better friends, and just realize what a healthy friendship actually looks like.
Nice guys and nice girls remind me of these old Facebook things people used to post. Basically it'd be something making them sound like the most heroic, selfless and sensitive person ever to live. "I do so much for others and no one does anything for me" - posted by the laziest guy who's never done anything for anyone but himself. TBH I think even if it is true, there's something weird and vainglorious in boasting about your magnificent levels of humility. See, someone as humble and down to Earth as me would never do that!
As a kid I started falling into the nice girl thing, except I didn't blame others I blamed myself for not being the one they wanted. Now I love myself and I have a great partner who supports me 100%. If you're feeling like this please try to find the root of your insecurity and look out for yourself. You're the only one who can. Therapy is also a great tool to get you out of that cycle of believing everything your brain tells you.
as soon as i saw the AITA reddit post title, i went through the 5 stages of grief because i’ve read it like 5 times since it was posted and i still can’t comprehend her mindset
Having anger issues doesn't make you a b*tch. Idk who needed to hear that but there you go. As someone who also struggles with anger problems, as long as you know it is something you need to work on, it doesn't make you a bad person.
The majority of posts on r/niceguys and r/nicegirls include straight people. However, I’m sure there’s plenty of “nice” people in the LGBTQ+ community as well :/
14:00 "I would consider them the symbol of Nice Guys and Nice Girls, they're both toxic." I mean... ok, damn, way to reduce the clear arc that Harley Quinn has *always* had of being a domestic abuse survivor and the constant abuse and manipulation she's suffered when she's with The Joker, cause that's why a lot of her actual fans like her, she's relatable to so many of us because she was in a situation that, while entirely laced in fiction, is something so many people have been effected by. Not to mention she's actual canon bisexual rep, but sure ig she's just as toxic as the dude who gave her hyenas rabies and ran her over with a car because Nice Girls like to put her image on their cringe and awful takes that actually never really align with her character outside of locals perception and takes about her.
It's pretty clear she's talking about the way nice girls identify with Harley, which is not the true Harley. Rather, they use the extra psychotic pick me girl Harley as their icon, comparing themselves to her. And yes, that is toxic and a horrid mind set.
As much as I agree with you : Harley Quinn is a victim of domestic abuse and she is strong as hell because she survived and is now a big strong woman than we can all admire, we also need to "think" like a Nice Girl. What do Nice Girls see in Harley Quinn ? A poor, nice and pure hearted girl that got heart broken because of a man and is now batshit crazy only because of that man, but she still can have fun and be quirky, just like most "Nice Girls" see themselves. They like to be seen as victims because men are so mean and unfair, they do not have common sense or any sensitivity, that's why they use Harley Quinn, that's why she says it is toxic : they are profiting of Harley Quinn's history to make everyone but them look like the monster in this story.
I’ve only seen the first Suicide Squad so I’m not familiar with her backstory. Knowing a bit more about her, she actually seems like a very strong character! I was more critiquing the way that some Nice Girls relate to her “craziness,” but obviously there is a lot more to her. Thank you for telling me more about her!
@@SimplehumanMale-ue5iqA lot of men who say they're nice guys are aggressive as hell, a lot of women who say they're nice girls are manipulative and backstabbing as hell.
I’m going to have to disagree with the whole “nice girls™ are just nuisances and not usually dangerous” uh those kinds of people very easily turn into dangerous people. It’s the entitlement that makes them dangerous. Plenty of women have assaulted or threatened people for rejecting them.
I don’t think anyones saying they can’t be, but in a general sense, women aren’t as likely to become violent as men are. That’s what they were saying. Not that these girls can’t be dangerous, but they most likely won’t be violent.
@@rileyistired4530 even if violent when compared to men they are just less capable of directly causing serious physical harm. Many of the examples leak with narcissism though, which may lead to people being a menace to your social life, sabotaging your relationships and getting you in legal trouble.
The paragraph at 3:00 to 3:14 to me can go either way for me. On the one hand a person (any gender) does need to speak their mind and set boundaries in a relationship but on the other hand their partner also has a responsibility to make sure they aren't pushing boundaries and to listen and look out for what their partner actually wants. This could be a case of a 'nice x' expecting their partner to read their minds 24/7 but it could also be a case of their partner clearly seeing their discomfort and purposefully choosing to ignore it to only benefit themselves.
The person from the tinder profile at 09:51 sounds SO much like my mum. I feel so sorry for her kid, because growing up with someone like that was pure hell and I still need therapy for it even now, more than half a decade after leaving that household n breaking contact.
I 1000% agree that people should help men unlearn that bs that showing emotions is a weakness. It’s a big part of why I feel that toxic masculinity effects men as well, even though it’s not to the same degree.
This video feels so validating😅 My former best friend would always talk about how she is taking for granted, always does more for "people" (me) than they would do for her, how she always likes people more than they like her etc. etc...but only in really passive aggressive ways and she never communicated her wishes/needs/boundaries to me...i didn't really understand what she wanted from me and ended up feeling like a horrible evil person for not reading her mind.
Catching an attitude really quickly and getting extremely angry over small things? My dad does the same thing and he is bipolar. Maybe that girl should get that checked out...
So I grew up around boys as a girl and being very scared of hurting other people feelings or saying something embarrassing, etc I basically am just a huge people pleaser with boyish humor. I remember seeing stories of “my girlfriend started a fight with me because I opened the door weird” or something like that. I genuinely thought these were jokes. I didn’t know that such a large amount of people were experiencing this type of girl. I didn’t know that it was normal to be like “yeah my girlfriend hates me because I said I thought red looks better on her in my opinion and not blue.” I didn’t know that was a common experience men were having, I’ve since met girl friends and even tried to date girls myself who are like this. Its extremely bind boggling to me thst some expects basically the ability to read minds and never want someone to argue with their reasoning. My brain works backward I find it difficult to express my wants and needs or discomforts in fear of causing a fight or making someone feel bad, and I thought everyone was like that too. Nice girls are truly as big of a problem as nice guys.
I was actually nervous because at first I fit the definition. I’ve always been scared to tell my partner no to sex, I was assaulted once and it has ingrained a fear of saying no to that in me. But with therapy and some healing it has made it somewhat easier to do this. So maybe that’s why this particular definition doesn’t stick well with me? I didn’t expect my partner to know. After my first ever year long relationship with someone, having sex used as a weapon with guilt (you’re a bad partner, I’ll leave you if you don’t), it becomes something you’re afraid to say no to. Does that make you a nice girl? Or someone with trauma?
It makes you someone with trauma, the majority of people have problems with boundaries, and women especially have to fight for themselves in therapy to start learning to do this in real life. Your story does not sound like you are doing it intentionally, parading it around, expecting others to change. It sounds like you’ve taken responsibility and figured out where this tendency comes from and trying to resolve it for your sake and your partner’s. 👏👏 Don’t stress. 😘
You are a person with Trauma, not a „nice girl“. Maybe the point will be illustrated better if we move away from sex. A guy asks his girlfriend if he should buy her a new bag. A nice girl who hates the bag will say yes, when her boyfriend buys it for her she then gets mad and starts berating him over how much money he spent on a bag she hated. In her mind he should have known that her „yes“ wasn’t true. She blames him for not understanding her very hidden cues. Your scenario is more like: The boyfriend asks if he should buy her the bag, she feels like she needs to say yes because he likes giving her gifts and she‘d feel bad declining him of that joy. Alternatively she’s even worried he will become mad if she declines the bag. She says yes and gets the bag but secretly hates it, however she doesn’t blame or insult him for not understanding her hidden cues. The biggest thing about a nice girl is intent. She wants her boyfriend to intensely watch her every move and read every wish off of her lips. She’s entitled and wants to be spoiled. That’s nothing like your Situation
You are so well spoken. English isn't my first language and listening to you always gives me the sense that I'm improving my own skills while simultaneously watching a great video. Thanks!
Awwww man but I like Harley Quinn probably because I was abused by a joker kin and I love watching her leave him and go date poison ivy but now I’m worried that I’m a nice girl.
I think the difference is you like Harley Quinn because she's a survivor and they like Harley Quinn pre-breakup because they idolize the toxic, unhealthily codependent relationship that she has with Joker. You get that that's not a good thing, but I don't know if they do (I'm making huge assumptions about you, so sorry if that's totally off base)
You know, I didn't go into this video expecting such a deep breakdown of nice guys and nice gals. I love it when people do something like this right. Well explained, making sure the audience knows exactly what they mean. Fantastic stuff, really scratches a gooood itch.
Ok so I couldn't see this take in the comments so i'm doing it. Young girls in (at least) western societies are taught at a young age that a boy should chase you. That women should expect a man to fight for their relationship. We could talk for hours about the various influences and reasons why this happens. From the patriarchy and capitalism, both of which are true, to others. And then we could go through the 'nice guy' topic, which would be equally vast in conversation. Let me know what you think, Annamarie.
nice girls finish last! as they should!
nothing makes my day more than magic spoon! click my link magicspoon.com/ANNAMARIE for $5 off your order!
Nice girls don't finish🙂
@@youreoffline4934 wh 😳
"My favorite flavor is fruity because you know..."
*Crunch sound as hand contorts to limp wrist*
You are too funny
Hey!! There’s dudes channel called freshandfit that I think would be a good video to react too! Some of his videos are pretty misogynistic
Omggg please tell me where you got that fan, (or whatever it's called) I need one!
I feel like 'not like other girls' turn into 'nice girls' when left unchecked.
*ALSO* these are the 'can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' girls. I've actually known 2 different girls with that quote tattooed on their body.
OH NO.
@@neonlacee I want to doubt you, I really do, but I also know people who would do this
Same with "not like other guys". They're just later stages of the same social disease.
@@debatable98 glad to see that you didn't become 'one of them'
Nice Guys and Nice Girls are like yin-and-yang. Except instead of actually being yin-and-yang it's just a pure black circle.
Pure yang
@@alyssapinon9670 yang is the white side Yin the the black side lmao but either way too much of one thing is chaotic in a very bad way
So...extremely feminine?
@@NoName-dx1no oh my bad 😂
@@CharlieApples femboy nice guy 😳
my jaw actually dropped when the last girl was mad because his girlfriend got HOSPITALIZED and he stayed with her instead of going to football or w/e the fuck it was like WHAT?????????? I couldn't believe it
Same!!! Of course hospilized ANYONE is a priority to a dumb football night! Football is a season, there will be other games!
Oh, your grandma got hit by a car and she might not make it through the night? But it’s football night :(
and she planned a party a couple of days out from the date and expected him to drop everything and come??? he literally told her if she just told him earlier he would’ve been able to come,, how self entitled is she???
When my mom was giving birth to me in the hospital room, my dad was more concerned about watching a basketball game. He legit missed seeing me being born because he was watching the tv in the room
@@psychedelic.dreamer omg what, hope yall are doing well
If they’re so “nice” then nice guys and nice girls should date one another- it should cancel out like pemdas🤷🏾♀️
Ok true- but do we REALLY want these types of people to have kids and spread this kind of mindset off to those said children?
i ship it 😍
@@Cody_Wolf1 god no-I was just hoping they’d try to out nice each other on a date and then simultaneously combust
that would save the rest of us some stress LMAO
@@AnnamarieForcino Omigod the queen replied! Hi 🤗
And this, friends, is why I believe there is a distinction between nice and kind. Nice is surface level, shallow. Kind is genuine.
Agreed. Kindness is deeper and if I had to choose, I would definitely rather associate with someone who is kind but not nice than someone who is nice but not kind.
Good way to put it
Thank you I've been looking for new ways to describe myself this is very helpful
Me: *sweats heavily*
I've been called nice whenever there's a class program back in school, was it a sign? lmao
Yah I would say that being nice is when does something good but has a hidden agenda, but kindness comes from the heart.
People say, "I only exist when others need me." And " Nobody checks up on me." While texting her best friend only when she wants to vent and never checking up on anyone.
Ew lawd I have had too many friends like this...
Fr had an experience like this recently.
It gets so annoying and pathetic 😒
@Plsh P0n what? How?(not mean, genuine)
@@notedfynn58 I think because it’s a picture of the astronaut you see when youtube says “you’re offline”
as a bi, i can confidently confirm that stating "i hate men" on a dating app while trying to find and attract a man is incredibly counterproductive and won't bring a man to the table who isn't loaded with insecurities
That's why I get so fucking angry when anyone, even sarcastically (I'm autistic, cant pick up on sarcasm) says stuff like that.
Like bruh, who are you attracting by insulting and degrading them.
(Well, if that's your thing, just find someone who wants it).
I'm gay, and I'd never do that.
I can understand the feeling, but it probably means they should be more concerned with therapy than dating.
@@icravedeath.1200 I mean I’m autistic too and I kinda agree. Saying “I hate all men” when your trying to attract a guy, is fucking stupid. But saying it bc you’ve been raped, abused, and only had bad experiences with men, even if it’s not literal (not sarcastic but it’s weird idk) I don’t really care about that
to say u hate all men is just off putting, there has to be context there or else it sounds like ur projecting all ur own insecurities/trauma on them
I’m noticing a concerning number of similarities between “nice girls” and “I’m not like other girls” girls
Well the reason both of them exist is internalized misogyny so they're bound to intertwine
People got bored of hating on 'not like other girls' and now they're hating on 'nice girls'. Instead of directing those women and girls to see their internalised misogyny, and addressing our own internalised misogyny from the entertainment we get out of making fun of those women
@@Ri57490 lol girl bye. Those girls stay making fun of other girls but when we start to make fun of it y’all try to turn this shit around? I ain’t never seen y’all say anything about these men smh y’all always wanna start shit. You mad cuz you a “nice girl” or something?
@@Ri57490 I don't disagree, but that's not always the case.
@@Ri57490 in a broad sense sure, but when it comes down to it, if someone acts like a schmuck they're gonna get teased. Like there is an underlying internalized misogyny, but if someone starts hurting other people, they open themselves up to criticism, no matter their gender.
It’s funny to imagine that “be happy and bake cookies and shit” means that she’s happy when she bakes cookies and takes a dump
To be fair, both are very enjoyable activities!
that's what I like to do when I'm mentally unstable lol
@@AnnamarieForcino 🤨
@@leviathan3630 have you ever had such a good poo that you feel pure again?
@@Kei-X2 Definitely, unfortunately right now I'm in an unfulfilling shit phase and whenever I try to take a shit after painfully holding it all that comes out is gas and then 10 min later I feel like shitting again.
I never thought language would modify to such an extent that I'll be saying...
_I passionately hate nice people_
Same tho, but "nice" used as a noun is typically a code for "insufferable and deeply entitled"
Nice as an adjective stills means nice tho
@@13Rats ikik
Correction: ppl who claim they’re nice
It is fascinating, isn't it? People appropriating such a benign word as "nice" to describe themselves (they have to tell you, because their actions don't reflect it.) And because of that, the word has been redefined. Language is just cool.
I really hope they don't take over the word kind next or we won't have any words left
Ok but the “I’m deciding to be evil” post is funny as fuck y’all. “I’ve decided from now on I’m going to be evil and malicious. Have a great day! Toodles!” Like what the fuck lmao
Best villain origin story lmaooooo. I can tell it’s gonna be a good villain lol
I think that's what they want people to think I'm p sure they get off on it
It reminds me of the "Drinkinh my violence milk" video with a kitten drinking milk but it just turns the kitten evil for no reason
that's something i would post as a joke lmao
@@catpoke9557 I need to see that!
"Oh you're lactose intolerant? Just tolerate it, tf" 😭😭😭😭 ffs that's perfect
ok but the "i've decided it's in my best interest to be evil" thing struck me as so funny like. that is the kind of thing i'd say ironically to my friends to cope after having a day full of minor inconveniences and petty annoyances
“I’m on my villain arc bro”
fr it's such a funny thing to say
That shit was worded like a corporate email
I will never EVER get over the fan
I’m a atheist, but that fan is a gift from god
SAME
The fan is a nice touch.
(Its a gift from sweet gayby bi-jesus)
So...you're a fan of the fan?
I’ve seen you on youtibe plenty of times before but EVERY SINGLE time ur Jack Kelly pfp brings me flashbacks to my old Newsies phase. Also I also love the fan!
the “hello sinners, how are you?” makes this life enjoyable.
I love it. It’s gender neutral, AND sexy at the same time.
Omg yes!!! 🎶 to my ears
Right? We need this on a shirt!
Last girl's definitely in love with him but repressing the hell out of it. It's totally normal to feel loss when a very close friend gets in a relationship and has less time for you. But thinking you're being wronged when they prioritise their SO over you? Either you're narcissistic and need to control everyone in your life or you're in love with them.
100% agree…”I don’t wanna be second to him” is a 100% telltale sign
I think she's narcissistic and uses him. She wants to be the priority because she's used to it. His girlfriend is obviously going to be a bigger priority. Wanted to keep on leash but be free to do whatever she wanted.
I mean, it doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic thing. She does seem like she could be obsessed, and there is a chance she does have a crush, but one can be obsessed or possessive without love and/or romantic attraction.
@@hyperboles6563 While that is true, it's the fact that the post was about his girlfriend that implies romantic undertones. If she had mentioned a similar case with a family member or another friend, then we might be able to infer that she was possessive in a platonic or familial way. The fact that she was mad that he prioritized his SO screams envy
Maybe part of it is as a kid, especially a little girl, we are sometimes told that our once and needs are unimportant, or we get punished for wanting things or having feelings that are inconvenient for the adults around us, so we stop ourselves from saying, I want this/I feel this way, if we don’t think that’s how we should feel, but we don’t have the self-awareness to not take it out on people and be upset at them for not understanding that without us, being able to put it into words
It’s almost as if nice guys and nice girls are incapable of being genuine good people, so they decided to reclaim the word “nice” and use it as a toxic way to feel entitled in a relationship, but we decide to use it as an insult for them instead. It’s pretty hilarious and disgusting at the same time lmao.
YUP
So...I think people who don't have a strong sense of self and have poor boundaries would have a difficult time describing their own positive attributes. So it makes sense...
@@rachelk4805 true, especially people who would think their partner shares similar feelings and expectations in the relationship without feeling the need to communicate it properly.
Basically, people who are actually nice don't need to tell you they are, their actions will speak for themselves. That's why it's always a red flag when someone talks up how they're so good or something
@@bananasinfrench ikr. People who preach to be as nice as they are in a relationship sound like such freaking tools!
Nice people not to be mistaken as people who are nice are terrifying💀
Oh nah Harley is way above the Joker they gotta keep her out of their vocabulary 😭🤚
Literally she’s come so far and this slander just ain’t it 😭
Happy to see people giving Harley the respect she deserves! She’s so much more than just the Joker’s girl
Margot Robbie didn’t single handedly revamp the entire DC cinematic universe just for them to try and throw mud on her kin characters name.
Harley is also a liscensed psychiatrist. I think some of these girls need to sit down and have a serious chat with her
@@mariafancypants describing actors as kinning their character is so fcking funny
I think if someone describes themself as a nice they're probably a menace. If they describe themself with a nice trait like polite or kind or friendly then they're probably fine.
Dont give em ideas
But ye
What if you identify as a menace
I think it's partly because niceness is a vague enough term for someone to have a different idea of how to be nice when describing themselves than what we expect from the description. Nice traits tend to be more specific and so it's harder for someone to describing themselves with said traits to have a different idea of how to have those traits than what we expect.
@@mayaoliver1864 that's what I'd like to know! I'm a chaotic menace goblin
"I'm looking for an alpha male"
"Why?"
You're always reading my thoughts
i think we as a society can agree that mean girls > nice girls. so fetch
At least the mean girls know their bitchy. I mean the nice girl doesn't even go here!
Listen I'm a touch-starved mentally ill le$bian and if I had the choice I'm always going for the mean girl with the confidence to crush me under her platform heels like bÜg
@@snakewithapen5489 we’re literally the same person because regina george has been one of the hottest people ever to me for years now
well its nice until you start getting bullied by them lmaoo
@@wee_zzz omg poopoo peepee stop trying to make fetch happen it will never happen
It seems nice people in general are menaces to society
We should all just be sinners instead
No their not nice they just mask their personalities with being “nice”
Nice guys and nice girls should just date each other and leave everyone else alone
Wish it worked like that. But the problem is that they wouldn't want each other either
I actually knew a couple thats a Nice Guy and Nice Girl. They got married. I give ‘em 3 years.
in all reality they don't even like eachother it's rare if they do
It does suck when we go through stuff in life. As someone who didn't feel adequate enough in high school, I would recommend talking to social worker and a therapist. It's best to work on your insecurities and make sure you don't get into this mindset that everyone owes you something, because you feel insecure. I remember some days I would tell myself I'm going to be mean and cruel the next day I go to school. I didn't follow up with it, because I knew it wouldn't help anything. Escaping that mindset isn't easy, but it sure feels cathartic to communicate properly and recognize where your insecurities come from.
Nothing like being called a sinner to brighten your day😩
i just love sin so much.
sinner (complementary)
I'm not gonna lie the nice girls as a group seem less consistent in definition than the nice guys.
Like the nice guy trope is men declaring that their presentation of niceness is inherently deserving of sex or romance.
The nice girl examples seem like a wide variety of asshole women. Like some of them are internally misogynist, like the ones who say being emotional is a 'female trait'. Some are proudly money hungry, even though the nice girls are not supposed to be money hungry. Like the one looking for a man with '6 figs' or whatever. Others are self obsessed victims who think being mistreated by men is a personality trait. And then there's the "if you don't like me at my worst" blah blah women who seem like mean girls that expect for their meanness to be accepted.
Like I agree with the notion that these are all problematic, but I wouldn't call these "nice girls" by the definition you provided. Not in the same way we can all say we know what a "nice guy is".
Don't know why I just gave this full on analysis, I'll go to bed now.
I've always kept my personal definition limited to the ones who expect a relationship by virtue of existing, and actually believe that all men only want one thing all the time, non-stop. To me, there are no other qualifying people.
I don’t know, I think some people just don’t know how to set boundaries for themselves, and don’t have the maturity to know that’s why they get upset when their partner doesn’t do what they want/need
I noticed that most of them have this idea that a consensual sex without comitment means that the man used them ugh that phrase is so annoying or that they are owed a relationship for a hookup
That last one made me so uncomfortable holy cow! That lady needs a reality check like at some point you need to realize this person doesn’t like you in that way.
yeah i have to admit that the hardest I've gotten second-hand embarrassment in a while. I can't believe there are people who actually think and act like that
That definition of nice girls really downplays the seriousness of emotional abuse. Emotional and psychological abusers are not pest and nuisances.
Yeah I was thinking that too
It's in contrast to nice guys. It has nothing to do with downplaying emotional abuse, but rather it was a comparison between the aggressiveness (and sometime fatal) reactions that women recieve from "nice guys" and the more relaxed reaction of the "nice girl". Although both examples are important in their OWN right, most people would undoubtedly prefer dealing with emotional damage than physical.
As a trans guy who just chose the name Andy hearing it actually startled me into thinking “Wait wtf did I do??” for a split second
andy is an adorable name omfg
Andy is a strong af name
You may be named Andy but you should be good as long as you are not 5’8” or a Mazda driver
you know what you did. You deserve to have your phone hidden in the ceiling and be left at the altar and have your girlfriend leave you for a skeleton. I hope you get a starring role in your dream play and then your phone rings in your pocket and ruins it. I hope you invite your old a cappella group to perform at your office and sing your signature song and then somebody else sings it instead of you. I hope you fall in a lake while wearing a sumo suit and start to float away And nobody will help you even though they see you. I hope the worst moment of your life goes viral and somebody makes a songify of it, which also goes viral. I hope you get a new boss at work and you accidentally hurt yourself on your first day and he cracks up and calls you the funny guy and so you have to keep hurting yourself to make a good impression. I hope your brother makes a heartwarming video, singing a duet with your father and you try to repeat it, and your brother just ends up one upping you again.
All these things must happen so that you can reshape your identity, and become one of the most infamous Tumblr sexy men of all time people will ship you with yourself because you’re just that amazing and everyone will wanna be you literally. They will create an entire universe where you are the only thing that matters.
Andy is a great name! Davids are the real problem...
I swear nice girls are the reason that guys read too much into women and claim we’re too complicated.
Exactly. Every time I hear this the person saying it is describing a Nice Girl.
That and also actual mysoginy. Some guys like to apply the opinions of one girl to another as if women are a monolith and then get fustrated if it isn't the case and call women complicated
@@dream-lh4pc Of course, we also can't forget those who were exclusively around women of this type during their formative years, or were in abusive relationships in the past. Those men exist and their experiences can warp their perspective of reality.
Pretty girls that realize they can get shit including their way for being pretty and smiling at people turn into manipulative nice girls.
@@eMorphized ya... I wouldn't want those types of experiences to make someone stupid though. Unless you have only ever met two women, it shouldn't be an issue when you get older. Those thoughts afterwards are most likely compounded by what other people tell you you should think.
I've met a lot of shitty men. I've met neutral men. I've met some cool men. The shitty ones don't make me treat my peers like shit.
Their experiences are valid. What they do after that isn't. That is if they are generally rude, dismissive, and expectant. Which is what Nice guys are.
My father was heavily abused by his mom. That would never give him a pass to abuse me, his daughter, or my mom. He didn't, luckily. Not emotionally, or physically. Bad experiences don't give you a pass to be a bad person.
wanting a relationship like harley and joker: broke
wanting a relationship like harley and ivy: woke
Still very toxic in every iteration and interpretation I've seen of them,tbh.
Nice girls and nice guys deserve only one kind of nice-ness....A NICE PUNCH
a nice knuckle sandwich!!!🤧
@@AnnamarieForcino aha true!! Also thanks for the heart
@Plsh P0n YO YOU
12:01 as someone who naturally comes off as aloof, being reserved is not a cute and quirky personality trait. It’s a genuine defense mechanism that I can’t really control. “I have decided its in my best interest to be evil, jaded, and reserved” lmao okay joker origin story.
It read as if you are referring Reserved as evil, but luckily I read it better, the other phrase was directed to the Nice Girls, not the Reserved right?
I am a logical-type and possibly autistic so I tend to come off as looking like a serial killer when I am alone or uncomfortable. If I am comfortable then that completely dissolves.
The iconic fan is everything to me. I must sacrifice all to the fan
the sponsor today is magic spoon!
Drew Gooden: there is a disturbance in the force
Literally first thing I thought of 😂😂😂😂😂
My first thought 💀
It's 2021 and nice girls still exist?? I thought we left that in 2013 already 😨
unfortunately, yes they’re still around :(
Apparently a few of them still survived the push back against the “not like other girls” phenomenon. Like cockroaches surviving a nuclear explosion. 😭 and worse some of them are grown women who haven’t left behind their teenage “not like other girls” phase
“We can’t be together 24/7, sleep together or GO ON DATES.” “”A girl that he had just started dating took MY PLACE.” “I am not in love with him. I don’t want to be with him.” WHAT
When people say they want a relationship like Harley Quinn & the Joker. I want one like Gomez & Morticia
as a man who has been stabbed by a "Nice Girl" I assure you they are not just an annoyance to be swept aside. like I recognise that woman are Far more likely then men to be killed by their partner but it can happen the other way.
I think they're just as likely to kill their partner. I'm sorry that happened to you, you didn't deserve that. 🫂
@@sindelscat9336 Statistically, that's not true. But I see your point; I think Annamarie and many others in the special type of feminism who say they want equality but really want superiority, really downplay the severity of women abusing men. They say that society is structured to support male abuse of women, but I don't believe that society is structured that simply that it definitively does one thing. While facets of it are misogynistic, other facets are misandrist.
@@gymnasticsgirlie0647 this was a year ago, and I didn't do as much research as I probably should have. I'd have in fact recently gone back and try to do any research on it and unfortunately there hasn't any credible reported stat done on this topic, I don't know why I typed that, but either way.
@@gymnasticsgirlie0647 I think under a patriarchy men suffer because "being a man" can't possibly mean you're a victim of female violence. The stigma around male victims leads to underreporting bc people shame male victims bc men "let a girl beat them up". By breaking that stigma, more men would stand up about their abuse. I don't think Annamarie is calling for superiority, if she did she wouldn't have made this video. Through feminism this social stigma could lessen and everyone would feel more comfortable coming forward.
wait, literally stabbed?
I actually get the girl who said "I have anger issues but im a sweetheart", I do have anger issues too, I'm bipolar and when Im on a episode, I can get very agressive, and I didnt knew Im bipolar untill I was 19. I got mad very fast and for very stupid reasons, but at the same time, when Im not on a episode, I'm a really calm and sweet person. Maybe some of this girls just dont know they have real issues, that need to be treated with a therapist
i have anger issues too, it sucks
Finally, a nice girls video that doesn't try to excuse nice girls behavior or feel sorry for them. Shitty behavior is shitty behavior, no matter what is between your legs.
As someone who inherits anger issues form my father and keeping everything inside from my mother. I can tell you its not cute or quirky to have anger issues, or keeping it inside. It fucking hurts, you and others around you whether you keep it inside or explode at others. its not fun to constantly carry around 6 years of pent up rage.
Thank you for saying what I was thinking
Yes! I hate it when people try to act like them being a bit snappy is equal to having anger issues. I have a page in my diary from when I was 9 years old saying „Why do I break everything I touch?“
My anger issues alienated me so much from my peers and family to the point where I didn’t have *any* person my age who liked me.
But yeah totally quirky and fun
Yeah it's unhealthy.
Nice Girl: "men don't get their heart broken because they lack emotions"
Me, after just waking up from a dream about my ex who left 2 years ago and I haven't seen since: "huh"
*insert the "huh" confused cat meme*
Actually I don't really agree with that, the post said that she is "sick of being the nice girl, who only exists when others need her" For me it means (I think) that she is tired of always sacrificing herself for others, especially for people that uses her without caring about her. This is frankly the case with my sister and my mother, they are really nice people who always do everything to accommodate others without asking anything in return but respect and sometimes people exploit that and use them because they know that they are selfless and forgiven, it's very easy to take advantage of that kind of people who are trully nice. Just saying that I can understand why you can be sick of being used by people just because you are nice, however it's how I view this one, I might be wrong. (love your video):)
I agree with your interpretation cuz I can relate, lol. But it's also the "nice girl's" responsibility to actually vocalize their wants and needs so they don't fall into those toxic patterns. People don't know how the nice girls are really feeling if they don't say anything, and that can cause a feeling resentment overtime cuz of the imbalance of reciprocity, hence why they feel "exploited." But it's tough because girls are socialized to be polite and proper and caring, and it's reinforced when society still views women who stand up for themselves as cringe.
This sounds like what happens to a lot of actual nice guys too(not the kind looking for strings attached).
It’s a good thing I recognized and starting working on these traits in myself a while ago, otherwise I would feel extremely called out by this. Dodged that bullet
0 dislikes.
Everything is exactly how it should be.
The two people are just trying to be controversial 🙄💅
@Plsh P0n 5 more now
10 ;-;
16 bots came to balance the ratio of likes-dislikes
those 58 people must be either nice girls or mixed up the buttons
So in the end, we all need to just be humanly decent for the sake of it. And then, maybe start looking for a relationship that’s healthy and the two can be honest, healthy and loving each other.
Exactly!!!
i dated a nice girl once. she was super toxic and manipulative towards the end of the relationship, and even when i broke up with her she decided to still harass me and my friends :/
"Say yes when they mean no and don't set boundaries" 🙃 uh oh lol I gotta do a think ig
sorry to make u think today :/
@@AnnamarieForcino lol np at all, just had alot of similarities to "nice" girls and it felt like a personal attack xD but yeah, great vid as ever ^-^ love your content
What a nice way to celebrate my new earphones
“Consider my timbers shivered” OH MY GOD IM OBSESSED WITH THIS QUOTE
Hearing 'hello sinners' makes missing therapy worth it :')
Holy shit the queen liked my comment, tysm ♥️
you fool, this is therapy
Whenever I listen to nice girl / nice guy stuff it reminds me of things people in my friendship group would say in our teens, but then we got our various mental health issues under control and grew out of it...I hope that they resolve or learn to move past this but it gets a bit sad when they're in their mid 20s / 30s still doing it. Great content and I love the fan :)
took me a long time to realize a couple of my exes were nice girls, in fact, they were abusive. the attitude around abusive relationships when the victins is a dude, also is iffy at best, so took way more than it should have.
Ya, I had two friends whose ex's were really creepy. I'd be nice to them. But it was scary man. This was in highschool so the behavior was bound to be worse. One of them even asked me, "do you have a crush on him?" Like bro- she was like, panicked.
In those situations it's always so hard to know what to say. I knew these people had previously been shitty to my friends. All I could do was support them, and discourage them from going back.
Crazy ex's are really freaky. Especially terrifying in this case because one of my friends was really suicidal, and I knew he could be easily manipulated by a bad faith party.
I wish you the best. You deserve a person who respects your boundaries and humanity.
The lesbian fan is ✨everything✨
Yummy coffee jelly
Im a nice girl, i have severe introversion and is trying to teach myself how to say "NO" this was amazing motivation. Always need Anna to teach me life lessons, because she may just be the only wise person in my life. Shes really helped me grow a personality beyond im just nice and quite, like i only know basic things like the fact that sexism exist like from a sheltered all black family/country racism never really existed to me 2 years ago. Ive really been speeding through learning about "the real word".
i have a friend like that as well.shes maybe 22 and only now opening a personal checking account
I think the damage a "nice girl" can do is understated and underestimated because of its subtlety. The way a "nice girl" reacts by engaging in reputation attacks can damage people's lives and relationships with others.
I hate when the Nice Girls use Harley Quinn… she’s a victim of the Joker’s abuse who eventually freed herself from the Joker’s abuse and got a new lease on life (even if it’s in a less than legal context). She doesn’t define herself as a victim of the Joker, not like these girls with their victim complexes.
I learned that I'm like this in a relationship and therefore I don't date people until I've fixed my act, jesus this was painful to watch
‘You don’t make figs you grow them you silly goose’ sent me 😂
“Consider my timbers shivered” is the best response I’ve ever heard.
"Nice" is just a label that they put on themselves to excuse their bad actions. You can be "nice" without being kind. "Nice" and "kind" are not the same thing. "Nice" is a label, "kind" is an action. "Nice" only describes how you want other people to see you. It doesn't describe how you treat others.
FACTS. I just learned something new
Roots of Nice is "not knowing" or ignorant.
my abusive sister in law posted that "im the spawn of satan when im mad but when im happy i bake cookies" shit on facebook once. and she is. she did make me wish i had never been born
i love that you call us sinners, all of us sinners are gonna be chilling in hell getting our suntans living life
2:57 You were explaining nice girls, and I got worried for a second because I was like, "Oh no, this sounds like me," but then I realized what the main difference is. I have difficulty setting boundaries and being honest about what I want. But unlike a nice girl I don't blame my partners for not knowing what I want. Because I didn't tell them. Communication problems are flaws that can be worked on. But if you constantly push them onto others and blame them for your shortcomings then you're never gonna get better and all your relationships will just make you miserable.
I have a friend that had a heart attack due to "broken heart syndrome", after his divorce. I hate the stereotype that men don't have the same emotions.
Around a year ago me and my longest relationship girlfriend broke up, and I can say it still stings. Your own feelings are very powerful, regardless of what gender you are.
I vehemently disagree about nice girls not being dangerous. I’ve personally experienced nice girls that have gone off the deep end and become abusive stalking dangerous mthrfkr . They are not to be underestimated
the whole "i want no to mean yes" dynamic can work in a realistic and healthy way, but these women dont know how. step 1: start normally in the relationship. step 2: have a serious, sit down talk. mention that sometimes you mean the opposite of what you say, or would want to be pressured when you say no in some cases. if you seriously talk about this, you can set up those boundries and explain how you enjoy faux mind games like this, because sometimes it can be hot to be pressured into something if you and your partner are consenting with that pressure. you can set up a phrase that your partner can ask to know if its really consenting or not in that moment without you having to explicitly say yes or no (my relationship has "colors?" as the question and i can either verbally answer green or red, or i can use asl to say g or r as a different form of yes and no, because saying yes and no specifically can be tough for me because of past experiences but we can maintain consent)
that way, if you say "leave me alone, i dont want to talk rn", your partner can ask a phrase that wont bring you out of the moment but can still tell them if you actually want to be left alone or if you want them to beg you to stay. consent matters, and so does staying happy, and this can solve both of those issues. theres work arounds to every problem in a relationship, it just requires communication and trust. if this helped anyone who wants to act bratty in a relationship but didnt know how, im glad i could help you. remember, if you feel unsure about something in your relationship or you arent happy, serious talks can help just make sure you ASK if you can have that serious talk, since your partner may not be in the mood for it or have the time. you need to keep a level head, because getting into a fight wont fix anything that a calm talk can
i'm a guy and i kinda disagree with the "saying no means yes sometimes" thing outside of roleplaying or acting or any scenario where i'm 1000 percent certain what my partner says is the opposite of what she means because for me irl i feel it would just further complicate things and it would make both me and my partner walk on eggshells. To me that just sounds like a perfect recipe for a relationship that would crash and burn, ending badly both for me and her.
The colour system you devised sounds wonderful though, sounds like a great way to deal with miscommunications if they happen. And honestly I cannot emphasize how hard I agree with you on having a calm, serious talk when things get difficult. I seriously do not understand why it's so hard for many people to do that lol.
Are you insane? No will mean no 100% of time. There's no way I'm going to play so dumb games. Dafuq.
@@madamada7458 that is why safe words exist in sex and prior communication should be established before any sort of sexual or nonsexual roleplay.
@@VillaCarrington It's called communication. Just because it doesn't work for you, that doesn't make your opinion universal. Some people enjoy roleplaying like that, hence the use of safe-words and catchphrases so that the partner knows when and when not to push. Think of it as verbal BDSM
That sounds like a fun thing to try
Can I just say that as a New Yorker, I absolutely love your accent! It could be NJ or Long Island instead of the city, but either way I'm here for NYC metro area accent representation!!
Made my day after long day of school- a fellow sinner
GOD when you said 'yeah Caity youre the spawn of satan for reposting Harley Quinn on your timeline' I jumped as a Caitlin who likes Harley Quinn as a character
To the first post: This is a mindset/problem that I sometimes struggle with as well. If I feel down, I tend to only open up after being asked several times - even if I truly want to open up, I'll probably say no the first time I'm asked. My boyfriend always accepts my first answer (which is actually such a great quality), but in this case it means that he'll ask if I'm fine, I'll say yes even tho I'm not and he takes that as the final answer. This can make me feel upset and like he doesn't care about me. I realise this is a problem tho and I'm trying to work on it.
14:32 as a person who often gets too angry over situations, crazy angry people don’t post it. The seem chill 90% of the time until some guy rear ends you at a stop sign and then cry about it later cause “wow I was so angry, why am I so horrible”
16:42 Girl, if he was really your best friend he would've been asking about your birthday anyways 👀 It's probably one of those crappy school friendships where you werent actually as close as YOU thought you were and the person finally starts to express that instead of just stringing you along. Its time to grow up and get some better friends, and just realize what a healthy friendship actually looks like.
I spent most of this video with a nervous grimace and half-shrugged shoulders, hearing all these peeks into other people's lives... Good finds!
Nice guys and nice girls remind me of these old Facebook things people used to post. Basically it'd be something making them sound like the most heroic, selfless and sensitive person ever to live. "I do so much for others and no one does anything for me" - posted by the laziest guy who's never done anything for anyone but himself. TBH I think even if it is true, there's something weird and vainglorious in boasting about your magnificent levels of humility. See, someone as humble and down to Earth as me would never do that!
“A niceguy will murder you, a nicegirl will get you FRAMED for murder” -sorrowtv
As a kid I started falling into the nice girl thing, except I didn't blame others I blamed myself for not being the one they wanted. Now I love myself and I have a great partner who supports me 100%. If you're feeling like this please try to find the root of your insecurity and look out for yourself. You're the only one who can. Therapy is also a great tool to get you out of that cycle of believing everything your brain tells you.
as soon as i saw the AITA reddit post title, i went through the 5 stages of grief because i’ve read it like 5 times since it was posted and i still can’t comprehend her mindset
Having anger issues doesn't make you a b*tch. Idk who needed to hear that but there you go. As someone who also struggles with anger problems, as long as you know it is something you need to work on, it doesn't make you a bad person.
Totally agree. Being b*tch means having intentionally mean actitude, not to have anger issues by default.
I love how every how every Nice girl and guy is straight. This series is just a spinoff of the r/are the straights okay series
Sadly not the case.
I've definitely had a fling with a Nice Girl, and I'm not straight or a man. Sadly, they exist everywhere.
The majority of posts on r/niceguys and r/nicegirls include straight people. However, I’m sure there’s plenty of “nice” people in the LGBTQ+ community as well :/
nah unfortunately I met an irl nice guy that's bisexual and he's the worst
@@AnnamarieForcino I think the reason is that the majority of people at least call themselves straight.
14:00 "I would consider them the symbol of Nice Guys and Nice Girls, they're both toxic." I mean... ok, damn, way to reduce the clear arc that Harley Quinn has *always* had of being a domestic abuse survivor and the constant abuse and manipulation she's suffered when she's with The Joker, cause that's why a lot of her actual fans like her, she's relatable to so many of us because she was in a situation that, while entirely laced in fiction, is something so many people have been effected by. Not to mention she's actual canon bisexual rep, but sure ig she's just as toxic as the dude who gave her hyenas rabies and ran her over with a car because Nice Girls like to put her image on their cringe and awful takes that actually never really align with her character outside of locals perception and takes about her.
I completely agree, but it’s not her fault if she doesn’t know all the Harley Quinn lore, she was just trying to make a joke
It's pretty clear she's talking about the way nice girls identify with Harley, which is not the true Harley. Rather, they use the extra psychotic pick me girl Harley as their icon, comparing themselves to her. And yes, that is toxic and a horrid mind set.
As much as I agree with you : Harley Quinn is a victim of domestic abuse and she is strong as hell because she survived and is now a big strong woman than we can all admire, we also need to "think" like a Nice Girl. What do Nice Girls see in Harley Quinn ? A poor, nice and pure hearted girl that got heart broken because of a man and is now batshit crazy only because of that man, but she still can have fun and be quirky, just like most "Nice Girls" see themselves. They like to be seen as victims because men are so mean and unfair, they do not have common sense or any sensitivity, that's why they use Harley Quinn, that's why she says it is toxic : they are profiting of Harley Quinn's history to make everyone but them look like the monster in this story.
I’ve only seen the first Suicide Squad so I’m not familiar with her backstory. Knowing a bit more about her, she actually seems like a very strong character! I was more critiquing the way that some Nice Girls relate to her “craziness,” but obviously there is a lot more to her. Thank you for telling me more about her!
"A Nice Guy will kill you, a Nice Girl will frame you for murder."
Why’s does that mean
@@SimplehumanMale-ue5iqA lot of men who say they're nice guys are aggressive as hell, a lot of women who say they're nice girls are manipulative and backstabbing as hell.
I’m going to have to disagree with the whole “nice girls™ are just nuisances and not usually dangerous” uh those kinds of people very easily turn into dangerous people. It’s the entitlement that makes them dangerous. Plenty of women have assaulted or threatened people for rejecting them.
I don’t think anyones saying they can’t be, but in a general sense, women aren’t as likely to become violent as men are. That’s what they were saying. Not that these girls can’t be dangerous, but they most likely won’t be violent.
@@rileyistired4530 even if violent when compared to men they are just less capable of directly causing serious physical harm. Many of the examples leak with narcissism though, which may lead to people being a menace to your social life, sabotaging your relationships and getting you in legal trouble.
It took me a while to understand "no androids" meant she only dates men with iphones not...robots.
I love the Brooklyn accent when you say words with A’s 💅
The paragraph at 3:00 to 3:14 to me can go either way for me. On the one hand a person (any gender) does need to speak their mind and set boundaries in a relationship but on the other hand their partner also has a responsibility to make sure they aren't pushing boundaries and to listen and look out for what their partner actually wants.
This could be a case of a 'nice x' expecting their partner to read their minds 24/7 but it could also be a case of their partner clearly seeing their discomfort and purposefully choosing to ignore it to only benefit themselves.
yesssss, another video another fabulous fan moment for all us sinners
The person from the tinder profile at 09:51 sounds SO much like my mum. I feel so sorry for her kid, because growing up with someone like that was pure hell and I still need therapy for it even now, more than half a decade after leaving that household n breaking contact.
I 1000% agree that people should help men unlearn that bs that showing emotions is a weakness. It’s a big part of why I feel that toxic masculinity effects men as well, even though it’s not to the same degree.
This video feels so validating😅 My former best friend would always talk about how she is taking for granted, always does more for "people" (me) than they would do for her, how she always likes people more than they like her etc. etc...but only in really passive aggressive ways and she never communicated her wishes/needs/boundaries to me...i didn't really understand what she wanted from me and ended up feeling like a horrible evil person for not reading her mind.
Catching an attitude really quickly and getting extremely angry over small things? My dad does the same thing and he is bipolar. Maybe that girl should get that checked out...
So I grew up around boys as a girl and being very scared of hurting other people feelings or saying something embarrassing, etc I basically am just a huge people pleaser with boyish humor. I remember seeing stories of “my girlfriend started a fight with me because I opened the door weird” or something like that. I genuinely thought these were jokes. I didn’t know that such a large amount of people were experiencing this type of girl. I didn’t know that it was normal to be like “yeah my girlfriend hates me because I said I thought red looks better on her in my opinion and not blue.” I didn’t know that was a common experience men were having, I’ve since met girl friends and even tried to date girls myself who are like this. Its extremely bind boggling to me thst some expects basically the ability to read minds and never want someone to argue with their reasoning. My brain works backward I find it difficult to express my wants and needs or discomforts in fear of causing a fight or making someone feel bad, and I thought everyone was like that too. Nice girls are truly as big of a problem as nice guys.
I was actually nervous because at first I fit the definition. I’ve always been scared to tell my partner no to sex, I was assaulted once and it has ingrained a fear of saying no to that in me. But with therapy and some healing it has made it somewhat easier to do this. So maybe that’s why this particular definition doesn’t stick well with me? I didn’t expect my partner to know. After my first ever year long relationship with someone, having sex used as a weapon with guilt (you’re a bad partner, I’ll leave you if you don’t), it becomes something you’re afraid to say no to.
Does that make you a nice girl? Or someone with trauma?
No of course your feelings are valid. I'm so sorry about what you've gone through 💔 I also feel like that definition fails people who were abused
It makes you someone with trauma, the majority of people have problems with boundaries, and women especially have to fight for themselves in therapy to start learning to do this in real life. Your story does not sound like you are doing it intentionally, parading it around, expecting others to change. It sounds like you’ve taken responsibility and figured out where this tendency comes from and trying to resolve it for your sake and your partner’s. 👏👏
Don’t stress. 😘
You are a person with Trauma, not a „nice girl“.
Maybe the point will be illustrated better if we move away from sex.
A guy asks his girlfriend if he should buy her a new bag.
A nice girl who hates the bag will say yes, when her boyfriend buys it for her she then gets mad and starts berating him over how much money he spent on a bag she hated. In her mind he should have known that her „yes“ wasn’t true. She blames him for not understanding her very hidden cues.
Your scenario is more like:
The boyfriend asks if he should buy her the bag, she feels like she needs to say yes because he likes giving her gifts and she‘d feel bad declining him of that joy.
Alternatively she’s even worried he will become mad if she declines the bag.
She says yes and gets the bag but secretly hates it, however she doesn’t blame or insult him for not understanding her hidden cues.
The biggest thing about a nice girl is intent. She wants her boyfriend to intensely watch her every move and read every wish off of her lips. She’s entitled and wants to be spoiled. That’s nothing like your Situation
You are so well spoken. English isn't my first language and listening to you always gives me the sense that I'm improving my own skills while simultaneously watching a great video. Thanks!
Awwww man but I like Harley Quinn probably because I was abused by a joker kin and I love watching her leave him and go date poison ivy but now I’m worried that I’m a nice girl.
liking harley quinn does not make u a nice girl! but it seems like all nice girls like harley quinn, if that makes sense
I think the difference is you like Harley Quinn because she's a survivor and they like Harley Quinn pre-breakup because they idolize the toxic, unhealthily codependent relationship that she has with Joker. You get that that's not a good thing, but I don't know if they do (I'm making huge assumptions about you, so sorry if that's totally off base)
@@AnnamarieForcino ah thank you
@@evelynjenkins4456 no you’re right don’t worry about it. Thank you
You know, I didn't go into this video expecting such a deep breakdown of nice guys and nice gals.
I love it when people do something like this right.
Well explained, making sure the audience knows exactly what they mean. Fantastic stuff, really scratches a gooood itch.
Ok so I couldn't see this take in the comments so i'm doing it.
Young girls in (at least) western societies are taught at a young age that a boy should chase you. That women should expect a man to fight for their relationship. We could talk for hours about the various influences and reasons why this happens. From the patriarchy and capitalism, both of which are true, to others.
And then we could go through the 'nice guy' topic, which would be equally vast in conversation.
Let me know what you think, Annamarie.