I constantly come back to this sometimes. This piece literally saved my life when I was younger...cause for the first time. I didn't feel alone in my fight against it.
Every line hits me in the chest. But this, "Being afraid of being alone with your own thoughts in an empty apartment but not wanting anyone around you..." is what kills me every moment of every day.
6 months ago I watched this and I bawled. I watched this today and I smiled, because of how much progress I made. I had my heart broken and lost my best friend, but I smile. Because it gets better, just not by accident. I'm on meds and going to counselling now, and life is better.
As a man who still struggles with depression, so many lines hit home for me. "applying a clown face" "I could get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell..." Thank you for this.
Still to this day for years this is the exact understanding of what ive felt for most if not all my life..this still makes me cry ..."but the only explanation is crazy, but you wouldnt call me crazy if you knew how much i hate me"
Thank you for being so brave. Most of us are too afraid of what others will think of us to admit we don't have it all together. I felt every word you said. I know that feeling. It's so very accurate. And my Uncle took his own life. I feel like I was hearing the thoughts in his head before he pulled the trigger. But because I love him I will fight. I will fight because I know that's what he would want me to do. I love him so much, and I often ask myself what I could have done to stop it? If only I'd been there for him more, or hugged him harder. But now as an wife and mother, all grown up, I understand that's not how it works. I now know the best thing I could do to show him how much I love him is to learn from what he did, not repeat it. Thank you for sharing this. Really. Thank you.
Carrie Carden I truly believe your uncle is proud of you. I am, Carrie. If you keep him in memory he isn't dead. The only time you die is the last time your name is spoken on this earth. Even right now I'm thinking of him. So he's still checking in
What powerful 3,5 minutes, this really hit home. I always have to be so aware of not slipping back into this state. I wish I could share this with my brother who commited suicide.
Eefje Poppelaars I don't know you and I don't now him but I sincerely wish I had met him and I wish he hadn't done it, I'm sorry. Now you have to be vocal about it, your situation sounds real, and it helps people to know you've lost and to know they aren't the only one. You may have learned more from him than any of us will learn on our own. Tell me something, what did he love? Even how he was, there had to be something. If it was beautiful to him than it should be beautiful to you too. Respect and love
chuck wilson Thank you for your kind words. My brother loved the English language, honesty and critically analyzing society, and he wrote the most beautiful and emotional poetry and short stories. Google "Hak's Ramblings" at blogspot if you would like to read some.
Memories for sure. This hits me hard. But it reminds me and makes me so thankful to have a God that is so amazing. He brought me out of the depth & hole called DEPRESSION. Thank you Jesus Christ, thank you for how far you’ve gotten me. How you stuck with me even though I didn’t always stick with you! I lived life on my own terms when I was young. I was stupid. & I appreciate your forgiveness and love . How could I ever repay a love like that....
There is NOTHING about this write that I cannot relate to. My man, you said it better than anyone ever could. Tears streamed down my cheeks after watching this, and I feel so much better about myself, knowing I am not alone. Thank you.
We were doing slam poetry in class and someone picked your poem to analyze. I was already depressed at the time but when this came on I started crying. because no one understands how hard it is to live in a world with constant depression. like it hurts you so much. and you actually understand it and makes me feel better even though it still makes me cry my eyes out.
Here's the Lyrics: Do you know what depression feels like? It feels like a thousand pound weight holding your body down in a pool of water barely reaching your chin, So no matter how bad your neck hurts you gotta keep your head up to survive, It’s looking at the sky and seeing how far heaven is away from you right now is how much you hate now, And every second after it feeling that one thing that you want so passionate is drifting past your tips and each time you reach to grab it you get a mouth full of water. And you sacrifice drowning in depression. It’s the pressure, bouncing against your chest asthmatic air keeps seeping in even though I don’t want to breathe again, Depression has finally falling asleep and wakens up so pissed off for no apparent reason in the morning, It’s a constant state of mourning when the only thing that’s died is your pride is pushing everyone that loves you as far away from you as humanly possible, Cause I don’t deserve them, Desert them before they desert me, It’s quicksand sinking It’s feeling Alonein a room full of people, It’s-- (Looses Dramatic Tone) It’s alright. (Chuckles) Yeah I’m Okay-Naw really, really I’m good. It’s applying a clown face and pretending everything is cool and content, When you know you’ll explode any minute, Depression is four Hydrocodones’s, two “X” pills and a poetry show. Feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world, It’s tears that’ll never fall from your cheek, Fear of adding to the water I’m already chin deep in, I want to die but not that way, Maybe Kurt Cobain like, possibly Kris Farley.. Feeling like the biggest clown in the smallest circus, Worthlessness, Where would my best be good enough anyway? It’s being afraid of being alone with your own thoughts in a empty apartment, But not wanting anyone around you, Going to the bathroom in total darkness not wanting to see your own reflection, It’s taking five showers a day at least and still not feeling clean, Depression is the demon at the bottom of a Zoloft bottle, Depression is the reason why I stayed home from school today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I can get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell. Searching for a clear definition of self It’s the thanks for nothing look you give to people who tell you to pray and everything will be okay, But the only explanation is crazy, But you wouldn't call me crazy, If you knew how much I hate me, It’s biting your nails until your fingers bleed, Steadily grinding your teeth, Depression is the reason, Why this poem has no ending. (I typed this all myself :O)
i break down everytime i hear this, i dont know if its because i can relate to every sentence, or because i feel this way all the time or because its just so painfully brilliant and well-spoken.
its how much you hate now. and every second after it.... you know what? its this whole poem for me still listening in 2020 still depressed 5 years later. still holding on. "this poem has no ending"
This brought tears to my eyes. I've been battling the worst symptoms of my depression, and the thoughts of suicide still haunt me. I keep wondering when I am finally going to do it. I don't want to die but I don't think I can continue living in this state of non-existence.
TheMicIsMyLover don't worry my parents found out I cut myself and now I'm going to the doctors and I'm scared its OK your not alone please don't hurt yourself trust me it does nothing
Am I the only one that feels like there's nothing that can make you happy even if you had an option to be happy and death is the only way out but you carry on living alone in your struggles everyday
every time i listen to this it saves my life. i've been depressed for as long as i can remember. and i can only write about it because i feel like know one understands. cutting and burning help but can only do so much...
I suffer from depression and anxiety this really hit home. Nobody except those who really suffer could ever understand. Love this. I'm a published writer as well.
Thank you for this. I nodded my head, understanding, until what you said about not wanting to look at yourself in the mirror. It was then, I felt my lip quiver, my eyes, water, and I hit the "like" button. I love the moments, when I am reassured, I'm not crazy. When I feel like I know someone well, even though, we'll never meet. You're words are touching. You're a gifted writer.
This is the first spoken word poem I have heard where I knew exactly what he was talking about. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for a few years now. My depression is getting better but I still get anxiety every now and again
Legit watched this 4yrs ago and didn’t stop at months. I hated everything and everyone. One of my friends is depressed and they described to me how they felt and this video just played in my head. So I go home and watch it. Now I’m watching it thinking how I’m really a genuine happy person now, but it makes my heart hurt to know that anyone is feeling like this at any point of there life.
Found you @ the age of 12 I am 19 now I survived.. thank you for many nights this poem kept me alive although I couldn’t explain you could for me🤍 may The lord bless you like you have for me.
For years I've listened to this. I for years I've told people to listen to this when they ask me what it's like to be depressed. You have been my anchor for many years now my friend. Thank you. I hope you are surviving.
most accurate description of my days heartbroken n lost my bestfriend all because she couldnt handle my battle with Depression n all I wanted was understanding n support....Sadly always there for others but struggle by myself with this Demon
A good friend sent me this. I have read many descriptions of the inner war that depression creates within the mind, body and soul of the people that it touches. This is a good one. Poetic and focused. I feel too much. Sometimes, I would give everything, to feel nothing. A new description hit me this morning. Imagine a beautiful sun lite scene, a perfect place, a place that in the past has brought you peace and calm. A mountain range, on a bright clear day. No worries no threats, and then imagine a window pain, a glass screen that we all see the world though. The lens, across our eyes, reaching back into our minds eye. The lens is perfectly clear, unblemished, allowing the scene to be seen and experienced unbridled by interference. Some days the lens can be tinted positively with a hint of lemon, orange or rose, your heart is positive; relationships loving and the practical requirements of survival are all in order. At other times, when these same relationships, or the problems of your daily life, are in chaos, the tint can be dark, black and cloudy, the scene beyond, no matter how beautiful, no matter how inspiring, can be felt as depressing and fearful. Normal people feel this. My friends can identify with this description. Days when the ‘get out of the wrong side of the bed’ or ‘blue days’ etc. Because this describes everyone’s experience. This describes the world as most people see it. The scene that I see when I am ‘down’. The depressed perspective. Is through a dark, cracked glass, with fracture lines running across it. Scenes of despair and destruction, guilt and shame are projected onto the lens. Intense when you wake in the morning, so you want to shut your eyes and never wake up. No relationship with the realities of your external life, the gods of war rage within your internal world, creating an apocalyptic scene over your view. So what to do? If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. But if you are at peace, you are living in the present. But to be in the present is hard. Hold on. It will pass, is my mantra.
I'm watching this at midnight so I don't feel so alone, so I don't think about something I don't want to do, or someone I wish I didn't miss so much. I like to hear someone shouting the words that I have kept silent for so long.
I keep on coming back to listen to this. i love his choice of words. Sarcastic but powerful enough to command attention. no sugar coating. i come from a country where mental illness is taken seriously especially when you can function. i started writing on fb about my experience. i wrote it as raw as it is and sarcastic, then people started listening. now i get approached by people willing to learn to help the loved ones and others reaching out to ask for help.
Everytime I watch this it makes me cry, but I cant stop watching it, I love it, and probably the best thing in the whole word to describe the way I feel.... I love it
i always find away to keep myself busy enough with school and a full time job and volunteering so i never have time to myself. Never have time to think. I broke down in class last week. Im back were I started. I fought and clawed my way out of my own mind for so long...and here i am again. Now im on pills and all they do is make it hard to cry and focus.
Everything he says from beginning to end is all true.. What broke me down the most was when he said sometimes you don't even want to look at your own reflection.. depression is like a dark path that never seem to end..
Just thank you cuz even though your poem won't solve all the flaws within me, it has blown the lid. The pressure is gone for now. Thank you for creating a place where people can speak about this and not feel alone. Thank you
I can still speak every single line of this poem. I used to listen to this every single day, but I fought through it and I’m still here. Thank you for that.
just heard that this brota passssssed on.. may u rest in heavenly PEACE.. fly like a bird.. u done what u have suppose to have done on this earth.. flyyyyyyyyyyyyy freeeeee my brothaHHHH
Found this ages ago and I still come back to feel validated. In a better place than before but still struggling. The ups and downs of life is debilitating sometimes.
damn..this guy knows just how to put into words a way of emotion/feeling that this poem i felt myself relate to and i even cried quite a few times. i showed a few friends, and specifically one friend felt her insides twist as she listened and then what i didn't expect was for her to just break down crying and I mean CRYING. Rage Almighty, I gotta give mad props to for this poem. It had made a serious impact on her that she even said the way he puts feelin into words...she felt it..she could relate and understand through her own experiences in her life that made every word he spoke true to the feeling. Rage Almighty,keep doin watcha do, cause damn you are one hell of a poet
It made me look at my life differently when I heard it. I cried when I was listening to it because it is true.Depression is hard to deal with but we have to fight to live even though it is hard.
Do you know what depression feels like? It feels like a thousand pound weight holding your body down in a pool of water, barely reaching your chin. So no matter how bad your neck hurts you gotta keep your head up to survive. It’s looking at the sky, seeing how far away heaven is from you right now. It’s how much you hate now, and every second after it. It’s the feeling after you realize that one thing that you want so passionate is drifting past your tips and each time you reach to grab it you get a mouth full of water and you sacrifice drowning. Depression is the pressure bouncing against your chest, asthmatic, air keeps seeping in even though I don’t want to breathe again. Depression is finally falling asleep and waking up so pissed off for no apparent reason in the morning. It’s a constant state of mourning, when the only thing that died is your pride. It’s pushing everybody that loves you as far away from you as humanly possible cause I don’t deserve them. Desert them before they desert me. It’s quicksand sinking, it’s feeling alone in a room full of people. It’s alright… yeah, I’m okay. No, really, really, I’m good. It’s applying a clown face and pretending everything is cool and content when you know you will explode any minute. Depression is four hydrocodones, two x pills, and a poetry show. Feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world. It’s tears that will never fall from your cheek, fear of adding to the water that I’m already chin deep in… Yeah, I wanna die but not that way. Maybe Kurt Cobain like, possibly Chris Benoit type, partly Chris Farley. Feeling like the biggest clown in the smallest circus. Worthless. When will my best be good enough anyway? It’s being afraid, of being alone, with your own thoughts in an empty apartment but not wanting anyone around you. It’s going to the bathroom in total darkness not wanting to see your own reflection. It’s taking five showers a day at least and still not feeling clean. Depression is the demon at the bottom of a Zoloft bottle. Depression is the reason I called into work today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I could get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell. Searching for a clear definition of self. It’s the thanks for nothing look you give the people who tell you to pray and everything will be okay, but the only explanation is crazy. But you wouldn’t call me crazy if you knew how much I hate me. It’s biting your nails till your fingers bleed, steadily grinding your teeth. Depression is the reason this poem has no ending.
I started crying listening to this. I've been trying so hard to describe what I'm going through to my family and I never seem to have the right words, and yet you're able to describe it perfectly even though I've never met you. This is art. This is truth.
Thank you so much for doing this video! Your words hit me deeply for I suffer from Depression. I'm in counseling which helps but it will be a long road. It has to get better for the sufferers of this disease and I must say Thank You to all the supporters out there. I know it's not easy taken care of a loved one who's sick-in any capacity.
This was me for like 6 or 7 years, But when I got into Music, I started to get way happier and I have less time to think while I'm alone. If it wasn't for music, I'm sure I would have put a bullet through my head already.
Thankyou, so much for this. I don't feel so alone anymore, knowing someone else is on my side. Depression sucks but that's how our life's were made to be.
Wow. As I type this through my tears, I am overwhelmed at how deeply you hit a nerve. I feel as though you're speaking for me. Thank you for momentarily making me feel not so alone. You're powerful words will stay with me and remind me that this struggle is not so unique and that alone will help me through today.
Words right out of my mouth bro. You have a great gift and as a man I am a bit embarrassed but I have to tell you that your poem actually made tears run down my face because now I know that someone else knows the pain of depression. And I am one that will say to you I don't feel bad for myself, I can't complain anymore about my life than the next person...except this damn depression won't just die. Thank you for your poem!
I remember listening to this at 14 5 years ago crying because of how hard I felt this. 5 years of depression later and now I'm numb and ready to go. This is a masterpiece.
"Desert them, before they desert me...", true.
the truth of that simple statement is so true it pulls me in half...
@laure j it means that you push people away before they do
"Tears that will never fall from your cheek, fear from adding to the water you're already drowning in."
So true and now I understand why sometimes I can't cry. I might not be able to stop and drown in a sea of tears.
``depression is being afraid of being alone with your own thoughts in an empty apartment but not wanting anyone around you``- That hit me real deep
Replay replay replay replay, someone understands me..
I watch this every time I get “that” feeling.
I’m about to give up, I’ve known about this video for 5 years now and came back to it
@@danikamckay232 talk to someone, it’s hard at first but it helps just believe me try to talk to anyone.
Air. Seaping. In. Even. Though I don't want to breathe again
depression
Everyday
"It's alright. Yeah, I'm okay."
Words fail me. I can't tell you how much that facade of words haunts me every single day-this poem is beautiful.
I constantly come back to this sometimes. This piece literally saved my life when I was younger...cause for the first time. I didn't feel alone in my fight against it.
if i were to quote this, i would have to quote the whole thing, its that good.
exactly
me too. I want to write this whole thing down and give it to my parents so they could understand.
I wrote it down but never gave it to them. Maybe some day
Jillian Rose it's been a year , do you still have it or even gave it to them ?
ashxicana no.. Unfortunately I did not..
I've been listening to this for years, and it still gives me goosebumps.
Same
I hear that
There's people who say that they understand.. And then there's this guy. All 100% true.
"you wouldn't call me crazy, if you knew how much I hate me"...Most powerful thing I have ever heard...
Every line hits me in the chest. But this, "Being afraid of being alone with your own thoughts in an empty apartment but not wanting anyone around you..." is what kills me every moment of every day.
6 months ago I watched this and I bawled. I watched this today and I smiled, because of how much progress I made. I had my heart broken and lost my best friend, but I smile. Because it gets better, just not by accident. I'm on meds and going to counselling now, and life is better.
Logan Stack I hope things continue to get better for you! lots of love x
Logan Stack Thank you for sharing your testimony! Thank God you're doing and feeling better. I wish you continued success in this battle.
Logan Stack I’m proud of you
Rip rage love you bro .gone so early but never forgotten bro thanks for everything
As a man who still struggles with depression, so many lines hit home for me.
"applying a clown face" "I could get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell..."
Thank you for this.
It's disgusting yet comforting to know there are other people out there that feel as shit as I do on a day to day basis. This is perfect.
Still to this day for years this is the exact understanding of what ive felt for most if not all my life..this still makes me cry ..."but the only explanation is crazy, but you wouldnt call me crazy if you knew how much i hate me"
Depression is the reason why this poem won't have an ending. What a final line! Great job, Rage!
Thank you for being so brave. Most of us are too afraid of what others will think of us to admit we don't have it all together. I felt every word you said. I know that feeling. It's so very accurate. And my Uncle took his own life. I feel like I was hearing the thoughts in his head before he pulled the trigger. But because I love him I will fight. I will fight because I know that's what he would want me to do. I love him so much, and I often ask myself what I could have done to stop it? If only I'd been there for him more, or hugged him harder. But now as an wife and mother, all grown up, I understand that's not how it works. I now know the best thing I could do to show him how much I love him is to learn from what he did, not repeat it. Thank you for sharing this. Really. Thank you.
I love this piece; he nails it!
Carrie Carden I truly believe your uncle is proud of you. I am, Carrie. If you keep him in memory he isn't dead. The only time you die is the last time your name is spoken on this earth. Even right now I'm thinking of him. So he's still checking in
This was great and I hate the fact that I understand every sentence so well..
i hate it, but also like that atleast someone understands how it feelsand can put it into words because i can't
Same but it's sad cus I have no to talk to about it cus I have to be the strong one
What powerful 3,5 minutes, this really hit home. I always have to be so aware of not slipping back into this state. I wish I could share this with my brother who commited suicide.
im sorry for your loss..:(
Ray the jelly snake Thank you :)
I'm sorry your brother took his life 😔
Eefje Poppelaars I don't know you and I don't now him but I sincerely wish I had met him and I wish he hadn't done it, I'm sorry. Now you have to be vocal about it, your situation sounds real, and it helps people to know you've lost and to know they aren't the only one. You may have learned more from him than any of us will learn on our own. Tell me something, what did he love? Even how he was, there had to be something. If it was beautiful to him than it should be beautiful to you too. Respect and love
chuck wilson Thank you for your kind words. My brother loved the English language, honesty and critically analyzing society, and he wrote the most beautiful and emotional poetry and short stories. Google "Hak's Ramblings" at blogspot if you would like to read some.
"A constant state of mourning when the only thing that died is your pride"
Memories for sure. This hits me hard. But it reminds me and makes me so thankful to have a God that is so amazing. He brought me out of the depth & hole called DEPRESSION. Thank you Jesus Christ, thank you for how far you’ve gotten me. How you stuck with me even though I didn’t always stick with you! I lived life on my own terms when I was young. I was stupid. & I appreciate your forgiveness and love . How could I ever repay a love like that....
There is NOTHING about this write that I cannot relate to. My man, you said it better than anyone ever could. Tears streamed down my cheeks after watching this, and I feel so much better about myself, knowing I am not alone. Thank you.
Wow. For the first time ever. I finally found something that completely describes how I feel. Every word is how I feel.
"... You wouldn't call me crazy if you knew how much I hate me."
That's when I started bawling. This poem is so powerful. I'm so glad I found this.
I’m 28 and have dealt with this for 14 years!!! My 3 little boys are what have kept me here, they’re heroes and don’t even know it.
I revist this poem every so often just to remind myself that I'm not alone, that other people have felt this before.
every word describes my depression so vividly and i cry so much when i hear this
its how much you hate now. and every second after it.... you know what? its this whole poem for me
still listening in 2020
We were doing slam poetry in class and someone picked your poem to analyze. I was already depressed at the time but when this came on I started crying. because no one understands how hard it is to live in a world with constant depression. like it hurts you so much. and you actually understand it and makes me feel better even though it still makes me cry my eyes out.
This hits home every time... makes me cry when I realize that this is me...
Here's the Lyrics:
Do you know what depression feels like?
It feels like a thousand pound weight holding your body down in a pool of water barely reaching your chin,
So no matter how bad your neck hurts you gotta keep your head up to survive,
It’s looking at the sky and seeing how far heaven is away from you right now is how much you hate now,
And every second after it feeling that one thing that you want so passionate is drifting past your tips and each time you reach to grab it you get a mouth full of water.
And you sacrifice drowning in depression. It’s the pressure, bouncing against your chest asthmatic air keeps seeping in even though I don’t want to breathe again,
Depression has finally falling asleep and wakens up so pissed off for no apparent reason in the morning,
It’s a constant state of mourning when the only thing that’s died is your pride is pushing everyone that loves you as far away from you as humanly possible,
Cause I don’t deserve them,
Desert them before they desert me,
It’s quicksand sinking
It’s feeling Alonein a room full of people,
It’s-- (Looses Dramatic Tone) It’s alright.
(Chuckles) Yeah I’m Okay-Naw really, really I’m good.
It’s applying a clown face and pretending everything is cool and content,
When you know you’ll explode any minute,
Depression is four Hydrocodones’s, two “X” pills and a poetry show.
Feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world,
It’s tears that’ll never fall from your cheek,
Fear of adding to the water I’m already chin deep in,
I want to die but not that way,
Maybe Kurt Cobain like, possibly Kris Farley..
Feeling like the biggest clown in the smallest circus,
Worthlessness,
Where would my best be good enough anyway?
It’s being afraid of being alone with your own thoughts in a empty apartment,
But not wanting anyone around you,
Going to the bathroom in total darkness not wanting to see your own reflection,
It’s taking five showers a day at least and still not feeling clean,
Depression is the demon at the bottom of a Zoloft bottle,
Depression is the reason why I stayed home from school today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.
I can get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell.
Searching for a clear definition of self
It’s the thanks for nothing look you give to people who tell you to pray and everything will be okay,
But the only explanation is crazy,
But you wouldn't call me crazy,
If you knew how much I hate me,
It’s biting your nails until your fingers bleed,
Steadily grinding your teeth,
Depression is the reason,
Why this poem has no ending.
(I typed this all myself :O)
Gracias Dude..
thanks dude
Its work not school. And you made a couple other mistakes but still appreciate chu
This is great. Missed the Chris Benoit part though.
I sat here, crying for like 5 minutes after this video ended. You've got an amazing talent, thanks for sharing it with us. You are a wonderful person.
i break down everytime i hear this, i dont know if its because i can relate to every sentence, or because i feel this way all the time or because its just so painfully brilliant and well-spoken.
in my case id have to say because of all three of those reasons,,
I'm all three of these
i’m only 13 and i been depressed since i’m was 6 i didn’t know how i should take it out on ppl bc i was just a kid but i was depressed ..
Bipolar type 1 here n no truer words were spoken
its how much you hate now. and every second after it.... you know what? its this whole poem for me
still listening in 2020 still depressed 5 years later. still holding on. "this poem has no ending"
This is my favorite poem. I swear.. The emotions that's being brought out thru the words are unbelievable . Amazing .
This brought tears to my eyes. I've been battling the worst symptoms of my depression, and the thoughts of suicide still haunt me. I keep wondering when I am finally going to do it. I don't want to die but I don't think I can continue living in this state of non-existence.
you're not alone.
same .
TheMicIsMyLover don't worry my parents found out I cut myself and now I'm going to the doctors and I'm scared its OK your not alone please don't hurt yourself trust me it does nothing
Am I the only one that feels like there's nothing that can make you happy even if you had an option to be happy and death is the only way out but you carry on living alone in your struggles everyday
This is my life. Every syllable tore into my soul.
9 years later I still come back to this. So grateful that another human understands and feels the way I do
its amazing that poems like this get unnoticed. its like everybody is blind, that they cant realized whats good.
I have listened to this video possibly ten thousand times through out the years..many years.. you explain depression to a T
every time i listen to this it saves my life. i've been depressed for as long as i can remember. and i can only write about it because i feel like know one understands. cutting and burning help but can only do so much...
this guy deserves an award
"i dont deserve them, desert them before they desert me" so true
Depression is drowning in water when everyone else around you is breathing.
until you realize that the body of water you're drowning in is much too large for you to possibly be in it alone. . .
OsheaReignOfficial
well put.
And that you're told to accept it.
I suffer from depression and anxiety this really hit home. Nobody except those who really suffer could ever understand. Love this. I'm a published writer as well.
Thank you for this. I nodded my head, understanding, until what you said about not wanting to look at yourself in the mirror. It was then, I felt my lip quiver, my eyes, water, and I hit the "like" button. I love the moments, when I am reassured, I'm not crazy. When I feel like I know someone well, even though, we'll never meet. You're words are touching. You're a gifted writer.
makes so much sense if you have ever been depressed. I respect your writing
This is the first spoken word poem I have heard where I knew exactly what he was talking about. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for a few years now. My depression is getting better but I still get anxiety every now and again
Every time I start hating myself I listen to this.... Thank you you have saved me more then once.
8 years later and this poem is even more therapeutic in my adults hood than it was in my childhood
SNAP. depression never sounded so brutally beautiful until this.
Legit watched this 4yrs ago and didn’t stop at months. I hated everything and everyone. One of my friends is depressed and they described to me how they felt and this video just played in my head. So I go home and watch it. Now I’m watching it thinking how I’m really a genuine happy person now, but it makes my heart hurt to know that anyone is feeling like this at any point of there life.
depression is the most personal journey,but it is a journey not a destination
Found you @ the age of 12 I am 19 now I survived.. thank you for many nights this poem kept me alive although I couldn’t explain you could for me🤍 may The lord bless you like you have for me.
Every word describes exactly what I'm going through...Eventually this will go away..I hope.
Don't we all? :(
This still hits home years later.... staying strong x
For years I've listened to this. I for years I've told people to listen to this when they ask me what it's like to be depressed.
You have been my anchor for many years now my friend.
Thank you. I hope you are surviving.
I watch this video whenever I'm feeling really down. It's helps me feel understood. I don't feel so alone when I watch this.
Thank god, ive only been looking for this for an hour
I always come back to this video when my depression hits hard. Just to know I'm not really as alone as I feel.
I've never heard anything that holds more truth and value.
'Where will my best be good enough anyway' killing me every single time..
I don't understand how this doesn't have 100000 views. It's beautiful I know this heart to heart
most accurate description of my days heartbroken n lost my bestfriend all because she couldnt handle my battle with Depression n all I wanted was understanding n support....Sadly always there for others but struggle by myself with this Demon
A good friend sent me this. I have read many descriptions of the inner war that depression creates within the mind, body and soul of the people that it touches. This is a good one. Poetic and focused. I feel too much. Sometimes, I would give everything, to feel nothing. A new description hit me this morning. Imagine a beautiful sun lite scene, a perfect place, a place that in the past has brought you peace and calm. A mountain range, on a bright clear day. No worries no threats, and then imagine a window pain, a glass screen that we all see the world though. The lens, across our eyes, reaching back into our minds eye. The lens is perfectly clear, unblemished, allowing the scene to be seen and experienced unbridled by interference. Some days the lens can be tinted positively with a hint of lemon, orange or rose, your heart is positive; relationships loving and the practical requirements of survival are all in order.
At other times, when these same relationships, or the problems of your daily life, are in chaos, the tint can be dark, black and cloudy, the scene beyond, no matter how beautiful, no matter how inspiring, can be felt as depressing and fearful. Normal people feel this. My friends can identify with this description. Days when the ‘get out of the wrong side of the bed’ or ‘blue days’ etc. Because this describes everyone’s experience. This describes the world as most people see it.
The scene that I see when I am ‘down’. The depressed perspective. Is through a dark, cracked glass, with fracture lines running across it. Scenes of despair and destruction, guilt and shame are projected onto the lens. Intense when you wake in the morning, so you want to shut your eyes and never wake up. No relationship with the realities of your external life, the gods of war rage within your internal world, creating an apocalyptic scene over your view.
So what to do? If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. But if you are at peace, you are living in the present. But to be in the present is hard. Hold on. It will pass, is my mantra.
I'm watching this at midnight so I don't feel so alone, so I don't think about something I don't want to do, or someone I wish I didn't miss so much. I like to hear someone shouting the words that I have kept silent for so long.
listen to this almost everyday, not just to listen but to remined myself that im not alone...
thank u Rage Almighty
10years later and I still come back to this
Powerful. Sharing with my teens. May you rest in power, sir. What a talent.
I keep on coming back to listen to this. i love his choice of words. Sarcastic but powerful enough to command attention. no sugar coating. i come from a country where mental illness is taken seriously especially when you can function. i started writing on fb about my experience. i wrote it as raw as it is and sarcastic, then people started listening. now i get approached by people willing to learn to help the loved ones and others reaching out to ask for help.
no poem has made be cry so easily...its like he put all of those feelings into words and i felt each of them, from beginning to end
Everytime I watch this it makes me cry, but I cant stop watching it, I love it, and probably the best thing in the whole word to describe the way I feel.... I love it
i always find away to keep myself busy enough with school and a full time job and volunteering so i never have time to myself. Never have time to think. I broke down in class last week. Im back were I started. I fought and clawed my way out of my own mind for so long...and here i am again. Now im on pills and all they do is make it hard to cry and focus.
Everything he says from beginning to end is all true.. What broke me down the most was when he said sometimes you don't even want to look at your own reflection.. depression is like a dark path that never seem to end..
Just thank you cuz even though your poem won't solve all the flaws within me, it has blown the lid. The pressure is gone for now. Thank you for creating a place where people can speak about this and not feel alone. Thank you
I can still speak every single line of this poem. I used to listen to this every single day, but I fought through it and I’m still here. Thank you for that.
All in one video...and yet, there is never an end. It just keeps going, everyday can be another verse.
just heard that this brota passssssed on.. may u rest in heavenly PEACE.. fly like a bird.. u done what u have suppose to have done on this earth.. flyyyyyyyyyyyyy freeeeee my brothaHHHH
this is so accurate im crying
Found this ages ago and I still come back to feel validated. In a better place than before but still struggling. The ups and downs of life is debilitating sometimes.
damn..this guy knows just how to put into words a way of emotion/feeling that this poem i felt myself relate to and i even cried quite a few times. i showed a few friends, and specifically one friend felt her insides twist as she listened and then what i didn't expect was for her to just break down crying and I mean CRYING. Rage Almighty, I gotta give mad props to for this poem. It had made a serious impact on her that she even said the way he puts feelin into words...she felt it..she could relate and understand through her own experiences in her life that made every word he spoke true to the feeling. Rage Almighty,keep doin watcha do, cause damn you are one hell of a poet
It made me look at my life differently when I heard it. I cried when I was listening to it because it is true.Depression is hard to deal with but we have to fight to live even though it is hard.
no matter how long its been i always end up coming back to this poem
Should have put lyrics to this.
But, this is EXACTLY how I feel. Couldn't have said it better myself.
I agree completely
Do you know what depression feels like?
It feels like a thousand pound weight holding your body down in a pool of water, barely reaching your chin.
So no matter how bad your neck hurts you gotta keep your head up to survive.
It’s looking at the sky, seeing how far away heaven is from you right now.
It’s how much you hate now, and every second after it.
It’s the feeling after you realize that one thing that you want so passionate is drifting past your tips and each time you reach to grab it you get a mouth full of water and you sacrifice drowning.
Depression is the pressure bouncing against your chest, asthmatic, air keeps seeping in even though I don’t want to breathe again.
Depression is finally falling asleep and waking up so pissed off for no apparent reason in the morning.
It’s a constant state of mourning, when the only thing that died is your pride.
It’s pushing everybody that loves you as far away from you as humanly possible cause I don’t deserve them.
Desert them before they desert me.
It’s quicksand sinking, it’s feeling alone in a room full of people.
It’s alright… yeah, I’m okay.
No, really, really, I’m good.
It’s applying a clown face and pretending everything is cool and content when you know you will explode any minute.
Depression is four hydrocodones, two x pills, and a poetry show.
Feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world.
It’s tears that will never fall from your cheek, fear of adding to the water that I’m already chin deep in…
Yeah, I wanna die but not that way.
Maybe Kurt Cobain like, possibly Chris Benoit type, partly Chris Farley.
Feeling like the biggest clown in the smallest circus.
Worthless.
When will my best be good enough anyway?
It’s being afraid, of being alone, with your own thoughts in an empty apartment but not wanting anyone around you.
It’s going to the bathroom in total darkness not wanting to see your own reflection.
It’s taking five showers a day at least and still not feeling clean.
Depression is the demon at the bottom of a Zoloft bottle.
Depression is the reason I called into work today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.
I could get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell.
Searching for a clear definition of self.
It’s the thanks for nothing look you give the people who tell you to pray and everything will be okay, but the only explanation is crazy.
But you wouldn’t call me crazy if you knew how much I hate me.
It’s biting your nails till your fingers bleed, steadily grinding your teeth.
Depression is the reason this poem has no ending.
Michael Westen
Thank you, lol.
I stand with you on this
That's exactly how I feel often. I cry myself to sleep and when I seep I forget everything but when I wake up I cry again. I'm pushing everybody away.
cried every moment. couldn't explain it better.
I started crying listening to this. I've been trying so hard to describe what I'm going through to my family and I never seem to have the right words, and yet you're able to describe it perfectly even though I've never met you. This is art. This is truth.
I'm crying. Not because its true but because I'm too afraid to admit to MYSELF that its true.
Thank you so much for doing this video! Your words hit me deeply for I suffer from Depression. I'm in counseling which helps but it will be a long road. It has to get better for the sufferers of this disease and I must say Thank You to all the supporters out there. I know it's not easy taken care of a loved one who's sick-in any capacity.
This was me for like 6 or 7 years, But when I got into Music, I started to get way happier and I have less time to think while I'm alone. If it wasn't for music, I'm sure I would have put a bullet through my head already.
*"When will my best be good enough anyway?"* Someone finally put what I was feeling into words.
Thankyou, so much for this. I don't feel so alone anymore, knowing someone else is on my side. Depression sucks but that's how our life's were made to be.
Wow. As I type this through my tears, I am overwhelmed at how deeply you hit a nerve. I feel as though you're speaking for me. Thank you for momentarily making me feel not so alone. You're powerful words will stay with me and remind me that this struggle is not so unique and that alone will help me through today.
This is it. That's all there is to say: this is the truest description I have ever heard.
I’m still listening to this in 2021
Words right out of my mouth bro. You have a great gift and as a man I am a bit embarrassed but I have to tell you that your poem actually made tears run down my face because now I know that someone else knows the pain of depression. And I am one that will say to you I don't feel bad for myself, I can't complain anymore about my life than the next person...except this damn depression won't just die. Thank you for your poem!
I remember listening to this at 14 5 years ago crying because of how hard I felt this. 5 years of depression later and now I'm numb and ready to go. This is a masterpiece.
After listening to this I burst into tears because he said how I felt for the last couple of years thank you this has actually helped me cope x