Dear beloved sister Dang Nghiem, you have saved my life with you words, your love and your true presence... again and again... because my suicidal thoughts and other negative thoughts comes in waves... daily. But with your and Thay's teachings I learn to noticing them and will continue practicing so I'm learning to transform my suffering... for myself, my loved ones and the world.... With deep love and gratitude, QN
I was in the middle of a strong suicidal ideation when I came across a talk by Thay years ago. I grew up with trauma as well and experience similar things. Listening to Thay that day may have saved my life. I became a daily meditator after that. I still have these moments and they have become manageable through the practice. The gratitude towards your sharing, this experience of trauma--thank you Sister D. May you be happy, may you be safe, and may you be loved.
Dear Sister, I had tears through most of this video. Even though you were speaking , I somehow felt heard and seen. Childhood trauma somehow makes us invisible and feeling alone in the world. I’m so grateful that the pills didn’t work, and you survived to make this video. You are an amazing teacher and a great blessing to me and I’m sure many others. Thank you for being vulnerable and authentic in sharing your personal story. This takes great courage and love. Your teaching has helped me so much. Thank you with all my heart ❤🙏🏻
This is on my watch list. I have a health problem that I've come to realize is not treatable. Sometimes I don't wish to be on Planet Earth at all just to get away from the painful flare-ups of the condition. You name the medical specialty, I've tried it to have attacks yet again. I'm between 50 and 60, so I realize the condition is not treatable and either need to die with it or learn to live with it. I'll comment more once I've finished the video.
Glad to find your video tonight. Severe quiet BPD so I internalise a lot. I've been having what feels like a psychotic break for the past few days with tonight being the worst. I am 24 with a 4yo I absolutely love and am trying to develop secure attachment with her that is different to mine, it has not worked out that way. I endure my mental distress and suffer greatly in life because of it. I've fantasised suicide since I was a small child. Tonight is a hard night and I've made a mess of things. Thank you for having a kind face, a soft compassionate tone and for being vulnerable. They're things I really respond well to. Tonight is hard
I struggle with suicidal ideation and suffer from the abuse from my mother, who in turn suffered abuse in her childhood. Thank you for this message. It spoke deep to my heart. Sister, I often think of you and your words when I am struggling, you have made a big impact on my life.
I struggled with suicidal thoughts earlier this year. It is still very tough. Do not know if I can become a monastic like Sister D, or transition from male to female, or whether there may be some other change in my life that helps me reconcile and feel more comfortable in myself. Either way, at the moment I have recognized that suicide is not the way out. There is always a way to continue, even if it is not always comfortable or the way that I would like things to be. It is mainly meditation and the peace that comes when the thoughts go away that helps me through the difficult periods. And when meditation is not possible because the thoughts are too fast and difficult, it's necessary to get help from professionals. That is my advice and experience.
Why do the thoughts need to go away? You have very little immediate control over them. Don't fight them. That is just another thought believed in. What if you were able to just see them as thoughts, and then let them come and go?
Accept your thoughts as they are. Accept your body as it is. Accept your emotions as they are. Accept not accepting. Accept the yes and the no. Accepr that it all comes and go. Accept that you are none of that. Accept that it is all a gift. ❤
Thankyou so much my dear sister D I'm in America with covid right now and I'm watching you for the first time and I'll forever be changed by your heartfelt story.
I've had these thoughts from a very young age as well and remember always thinking I wouldn't make it past 35... I'm now 5 years beyond that and although I still battle these dark thoughts regularly I continue to find some hope and inspiration in this community. Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom sister dang nghiem 🙏
Dear Sister D, Thank you for sharing your powerful story. It took me so much deeper into my own practice. I too suffered from severe trauma and poverty with a mother who left when I was 6 years of age. I have spent a long period of my life “chasing my mother’s gaze”through relationships and fantasies only to return to the original abandonment wound over and over again. Your open heartedness is beautiful! It reminds me to be open hearted and loving toward myself. Many blessings to you and all who listened to this today. ❤🙏
Thinking of my daughter who is in hospital because of suicidal thoughts. She is only 11. Sister D., thank you for sharing your intimate life moments.. it gives me hope, that my baby will be ok.
What a wonderful topic. "Suicide is my friend" . i deeply understand as i did 20 years of deptession , until i saw he was a companion so i would not feel lonly or worthless or other negativ feel. Love. ❤ love .❤ love
What did this recognition bring you then ? Can you explain ? It doesn't seem like a very friendly companion...thank you ! So glad you are feeling better.
@@gabrielraphael8084 i realised that depression anger sadness ... those Feelings are companions we creat by creating an alternate reality. (I say create but discover works too) When we wish things to be different than they are. Those two reality rubb against each other. That rubbing or dissonance is called an emotion. That was the meaning of sinning, to miss the mark because one eye is on the present and an other is aiming at a different reality. When i stoo comparing the arow lands in the middle each time. Just like when you shoot in water, it lands at the center of the rings. Understanding that a sad thought when belived grows in a huge tree bearing the same sad fruits. That is heaven or eaden. There are many plant, see that they work for you (take your thoughts cative is a poor translation). Same logic applied to relationship, a co worker judge you or wan other emotion. Now you know what is going on in his heart. You know his suffering. As you listen deeper, you discover insecurity, then sadness and hurt and under love. Now that you have love and solved the riddle, you can love and your words are healing. If you think now you are a healer, find the "you". Pride and controle of feeling worthless and out of control. Under that is being priceless and out of control, free. Not chaotic. Just i got no idea. I know nothing. "Socrates" I am not a thing. Know yourself "Parthenon of Delphi". From there wisdom and aparent stupidly. Yeah. A negative experience is an experience negated. Like antimatter and matter annihilate and release energy or space time or presence. When meeting with negativ energy it can release quite a bit of energy like bliss or space or presence. What i say is not a map. Not to be fallowed. But to spark curiosity in what is going on already. I thank you for your question. You are kind and move with intelligence. I appreciate you. Have a wonderful journey. 😍😘
Sister D your story parallels mine in some ways, including the dream of being reunited with family. My dreams have involved living in my home of origin and doing things together as we did when we were kids. Relationships get tense with my mom, but we're still in touch. My brother and I became estranged, & I won't give him the entire blame. I had a dream that he was back in my life, and I stated anything he wanted or needed was his. Really if he needed anything, from a temporary place to stay to an organ transplant, I would say yes. Thanks again for sharing your life's journey with us.
Sister Dang Nghiem, I am reading your book flowers in the dark. Thank you for being here, in your books and videos. I really value you 🙏 thank you for being so real and authentic. Because you are brave to share your healing with us all , we can all heal too 🙏😇
I struggle daily with chronic pain, anxiety and depression. I know that this is from trauma. I cried when I woke up to your words in my ear. You have saved my life today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Navigating this Landscape as an Empath has got to be among the most significant challenges a Soul can face. Thank You Sister for Your amazing & beautiful contributions 🙏
Your deep compassion and eloquence help so many of us who are suffering, to heal, Sr. D. Deep bows of gratitude for you, your ardent love, and your powerfully inspiring practice and transformation. Sending you big love and light. 🙏🏼🩷🪷🌻🌷
Thank you, your sharing is so touching and your strenght is amazing. Listening to this from that dark place, it seems impossible how you managed to process and transform all that suffering...I am so scared
If she can do it, you can do it. Everything is inter-connected including you and her, underneath the fear is love, you don't need to change anything right now, just fully accept this moment as it is and know that the river of impermanence will carry us all forward. Have faith in your true nature, it is already there, you can recognize it when you see a smile. Your smile will come back again, with patience. Sending love.
I’m just one of many your words touched! Thank you for making me feel understood, and less alone. I’m starting to learn about Buddhism, still don’t know if it is the right path for me or not but, will carry your words and above all the felling of understanding, of love and kindness with me. Thank you so much 🙏🙏
I tried to kill myself at the age of 10... also with pills. Your story was extremely touching. Practicing with suicidal ideation is something I'm still dealing with. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for sharing and treating this very difficult subject.
😢 … Intense emotion comes when hearing the story, about intense painful experiences, and about trying to take the self away from them, away from such experiences, departing this place. Reminders and links to various memory associations come in. Ran into sick arses who try to destroy whatever anyone tries to build up when they can, because it is funny to them. These bullies or others causing harm negligently without much reason, murdering souls, contribute to physical suicide numbers, or attempts. Naturally at some point when people get damaged repeatedly by them, and the life is completely blocked and exhaustive efforts repeatedly wasted, either somebody wants to kill one’s self as their life has in effect already been taken, so it is only a statement on the physical level, or want to kill them to stop their killing, stop the murder of other’s being, the destruction of other’s efforts, the death of other’s souls. So maybe people experiencing that nonsense feel like taking the vandals out, helping them, release some of their karma maybe, or taking one’s self out, physical killing to represent the soul death, to do it to have some control and to express the truth of the situation. The intensity of feeling that would cause such action, killing in response to murder and attempted murder or negligent murder of a soul, is super intense. Understandable really. Incredible strength is needed to rise above the vandals playing games to destroy or toy with other’s life and being. Some say we planted the seeds and in effect suggest we are therefore deserving of harm. So it is okay for the vandals to do what they do and justified. I don’t agree. Not with the last part anyway. That is a twisted out of context view. The harm is not excusable or justified, the callous selfish destruction of another’s world, wounding of a soul, for some perverse pleasure. It is sickness. Some even say, it is good we harm ourself as we are bad ones since we must have planted the seeds and that is why we are getting evil directed to us. Sounds like a sick abusive excuse and justification for abusive behaviour. Regardless of seeds planted, no it is not okay to be receiving abuse. Nor is it okay to be committing abuse, nor harming oneself, though the tendency and frustration is understandable, and compassion well placed. Sorry to hear the story of abuse, and thankful when suicides did not succeed, suicide attempts in response to abuse. Quite hard to rise above it all and not kill in response to the killing, not to kill oneself or others or harm one’s self or others in response to murder of various sorts, of the body of the soul. The planet seems in a place now where it is having to learn how to handle that, handle so much abuse, not to escalate but to heal. Very challenging.
Respectfully, this needs to have a trigger warning. People going through these things should not be confronted with the details of your trauma in the start of the video, please use mindful language to let people know what they are expecting. I found the same issue with your book in which it details gruesome and traumatic imagery with no trigger warning or mention beforehand, for people going through trauma and mental health issues this is not acceptable and I witnessed the lack of trigger warning cause severe anguish to a loved one. Please think about this dear Sister, thank you for sharing.
@@plumvillageappI just want to say the that I actually appreciate the honesty of how this video is shared. It says suicide in the title and not everything can come with a trigger warning. This video and her sharing her experiences resonated with me because I experienced trauma in a different way but connected to her honesty.. It made it relatable. I watched and read so many books to try to help myself and no one could express it in the way she has.
Dear beloved sister Dang Nghiem, you have saved my life with you words, your love and your true presence... again and again... because my suicidal thoughts and other negative thoughts comes in waves... daily. But with your and Thay's teachings I learn to noticing them and will continue practicing so I'm learning to transform my suffering... for myself, my loved ones and the world.... With deep love and gratitude, QN
I was in the middle of a strong suicidal ideation when I came across a talk by Thay years ago. I grew up with trauma as well and experience similar things. Listening to Thay that day may have saved my life. I became a daily meditator after that. I still have these moments and they have become manageable through the practice. The gratitude towards your sharing, this experience of trauma--thank you Sister D. May you be happy, may you be safe, and may you be loved.
I can recommend Sr Dang Nghiem's book 'Flowers in the Dark'
Treating yourself like a frightened child is the best way to learn to be nice to yourself
listening to Sister D's lifestory amazes me how she survived extreme hardship and became such a beautiful person
Dear Sister, I had tears through most of this video. Even though you were speaking , I somehow felt heard and seen. Childhood trauma somehow makes us invisible and feeling alone in the world. I’m so grateful that the pills didn’t work, and you survived to make this video. You are an amazing teacher and a great blessing to me and I’m sure many others. Thank you for being vulnerable and authentic in sharing your personal story. This takes great courage and love. Your teaching has helped me so much. Thank you with all my heart ❤🙏🏻
Oh, Sister D, what a gift 💝 Thank you so much 😿🙏☯️
The bud of a half smile
Has transformed by frown
Even if I'm suffering deeply
I am there for my inner child
This is on my watch list. I have a health problem that I've come to realize is not treatable.
Sometimes I don't wish to be on Planet Earth at all just to get away from the painful flare-ups of the condition. You name the medical specialty, I've tried it to have attacks yet again.
I'm between 50 and 60, so I realize the condition is not treatable and either need to die with it or learn to live with it.
I'll comment more once I've finished the video.
Glad to find your video tonight. Severe quiet BPD so I internalise a lot. I've been having what feels like a psychotic break for the past few days with tonight being the worst. I am 24 with a 4yo I absolutely love and am trying to develop secure attachment with her that is different to mine, it has not worked out that way. I endure my mental distress and suffer greatly in life because of it. I've fantasised suicide since I was a small child. Tonight is a hard night and I've made a mess of things. Thank you for having a kind face, a soft compassionate tone and for being vulnerable. They're things I really respond well to. Tonight is hard
I struggle with suicidal ideation and suffer from the abuse from my mother, who in turn suffered abuse in her childhood. Thank you for this message. It spoke deep to my heart. Sister, I often think of you and your words when I am struggling, you have made a big impact on my life.
Sending much care to you dear friend.
Plum Village App
plumvillage.app
(completely free)
Thank you Sister for this important message. I hope it reaches many.
I struggled with suicidal thoughts earlier this year. It is still very tough. Do not know if I can become a monastic like Sister D, or transition from male to female, or whether there may be some other change in my life that helps me reconcile and feel more comfortable in myself. Either way, at the moment I have recognized that suicide is not the way out. There is always a way to continue, even if it is not always comfortable or the way that I would like things to be. It is mainly meditation and the peace that comes when the thoughts go away that helps me through the difficult periods. And when meditation is not possible because the thoughts are too fast and difficult, it's necessary to get help from professionals. That is my advice and experience.
Why do the thoughts need to go away? You have very little immediate control over them. Don't fight them. That is just another thought believed in. What if you were able to just see them as thoughts, and then let them come and go?
Accept your thoughts as they are.
Accept your body as it is.
Accept your emotions as they are.
Accept not accepting.
Accept the yes and the no.
Accepr that it all comes and go.
Accept that you are none of that.
Accept that it is all a gift.
❤
@@aurelienyonrac thank you for these beautiful words and the peace within them.
Thank you for this precious message. I was in great need of your wisdom and guidance today.
I hope many many people watch this video. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Thankyou so much my dear sister D I'm in America with covid right now and I'm watching you for the first time and I'll forever be changed by your heartfelt story.
I've had these thoughts from a very young age as well and remember always thinking I wouldn't make it past 35... I'm now 5 years beyond that and although I still battle these dark thoughts regularly I continue to find some hope and inspiration in this community. Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom sister dang nghiem 🙏
Dear Sister D, Thank you for sharing your powerful story. It took me so much deeper into my own practice. I too suffered from severe trauma and poverty with a mother who left when I was 6 years of age. I have spent a long period of my life “chasing my mother’s gaze”through relationships and fantasies only to return to the original abandonment wound over and over again. Your open heartedness is beautiful! It reminds me to be open hearted and loving toward myself. Many blessings to you and all who listened to this today. ❤🙏
Thinking of my daughter who is in hospital because of suicidal thoughts. She is only 11. Sister D., thank you for sharing your intimate life moments.. it gives me hope, that my baby will be ok.
What a wonderful topic. "Suicide is my friend" . i deeply understand as i did 20 years of deptession , until i saw he was a companion so i would not feel lonly or worthless or other negativ feel.
Love. ❤ love .❤ love
What did this recognition bring you then ? Can you explain ? It doesn't seem like a very friendly companion...thank you ! So glad you are feeling better.
@@gabrielraphael8084 i realised that depression anger sadness ... those Feelings are companions we creat by creating an alternate reality. (I say create but discover works too)
When we wish things to be different than they are. Those two reality rubb against each other. That rubbing or dissonance is called an emotion.
That was the meaning of sinning, to miss the mark because one eye is on the present and an other is aiming at a different reality.
When i stoo comparing the arow lands in the middle each time.
Just like when you shoot in water, it lands at the center of the rings.
Understanding that a sad thought when belived grows in a huge tree bearing the same sad fruits. That is heaven or eaden. There are many plant, see that they work for you (take your thoughts cative is a poor translation).
Same logic applied to relationship, a co worker judge you or wan other emotion. Now you know what is going on in his heart. You know his suffering. As you listen deeper, you discover insecurity, then sadness and hurt and under love.
Now that you have love and solved the riddle, you can love and your words are healing.
If you think now you are a healer, find the "you". Pride and controle of feeling worthless and out of control.
Under that is being priceless and out of control, free. Not chaotic. Just i got no idea.
I know nothing. "Socrates"
I am not a thing.
Know yourself "Parthenon of Delphi".
From there wisdom and aparent stupidly.
Yeah.
A negative experience is an experience negated.
Like antimatter and matter annihilate and release energy or space time or presence.
When meeting with negativ energy it can release quite a bit of energy like bliss or space or presence.
What i say is not a map. Not to be fallowed. But to spark curiosity in what is going on already.
I thank you for your question.
You are kind and move with intelligence. I appreciate you.
Have a wonderful journey. 😍😘
Sister D your story parallels mine in some ways, including the dream of being reunited with family.
My dreams have involved living in my home of origin and doing things together as we did when we were kids.
Relationships get tense with my mom, but we're still in touch. My brother and I became estranged, & I won't give him the entire blame.
I had a dream that he was back in my life, and I stated anything he wanted or needed was his. Really if he needed anything, from a temporary place to stay to an organ transplant, I would say yes.
Thanks again for sharing your life's journey with us.
Sister Dang Nghiem, I am reading your book flowers in the dark. Thank you for being here, in your books and videos. I really value you 🙏 thank you for being so real and authentic. Because you are brave to share your healing with us all , we can all heal too 🙏😇
I struggle daily with chronic pain, anxiety and depression. I know that this is from trauma. I cried when I woke up to your words in my ear. You have saved my life today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
So very beautiful. And very helpful. Thank you for your authenticity and open heart. Love.
Merci du profond de mon cœur.
Navigating this Landscape as an Empath has got to be among the most significant challenges a Soul can face.
Thank You Sister for Your amazing & beautiful contributions 🙏
🙏🌹thank you. Take care!
Finally someone who understands
Your deep compassion and eloquence help so many of us who are suffering, to heal, Sr. D.
Deep bows of gratitude for you,
your ardent love, and your powerfully inspiring practice and transformation. Sending you big love and light. 🙏🏼🩷🪷🌻🌷
Thank you
Thank you Sister D. ❤🙏
Thank you Sister D for sharing your heartfelt story. You are indeed a beautiful woman. Peaceful Blessings Alway🙏❤🙏
I have a lot of self-hatred and regret for my past. Thank you for this video.
🙏
Thank you for sharing your story in this beautiful message.
Thank you Sister Dang Nghiem for sharing your story.
Thank you sister for such a healing sharing
Thank you. I am having ideations. This helps.🙏
Thank you. You words really reached me and it taught me more skills to fight with. Thank you again. Peace be with you.
Grazie infinite.
this came at a time where i really needed it, thank you for your openess and vulnerability.
Thank you, your sharing is so touching and your strenght is amazing. Listening to this from that dark place, it seems impossible how you managed to process and transform all that suffering...I am so scared
If she can do it, you can do it. Everything is inter-connected including you and her, underneath the fear is love, you don't need to change anything right now, just fully accept this moment as it is and know that the river of impermanence will carry us all forward. Have faith in your true nature, it is already there, you can recognize it when you see a smile. Your smile will come back again, with patience. Sending love.
@@nick_video thanks a lot
Beautiful ❤offering
I’m just one of many your words touched! Thank you for making me feel understood, and less alone. I’m starting to learn about Buddhism, still don’t know if it is the right path for me or not but, will carry your words and above all the felling of understanding, of love and kindness with me.
Thank you so much 🙏🙏
Chị thương em lắm. Mẹ chị nói: em là bồ tát thị hiện để giúp đời. Chị Chúc em an lành. Em giỏi lắm. ❤
❤❤❤
❤❤❤
Thank You Dear..❤
Thank you for your sharing, your wisdom 🙏
wonderful video very helpful thankyou
Thank you for sharing this
So beautiful. Thank you.
🙏
thanks so much 🙏
Much love for You ❤
🙏
Sư cô có thể có bài teaching bằng tiếng Việt được không ạ? Nội dung của bài này rất ý nghĩa ạ và con muốn chia sẻ cho một số người cần ạ
I tried to kill myself at the age of 10... also with pills. Your story was extremely touching. Practicing with suicidal ideation is something I'm still dealing with. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for sharing and treating this very difficult subject.
❤🙏🏻
Peace be with you (O_0)
❤🙏
😢 … Intense emotion comes when hearing the story, about intense painful experiences, and about trying to take the self away from them, away from such experiences, departing this place.
Reminders and links to various memory associations come in.
Ran into sick arses who try to destroy whatever anyone tries to build up when they can, because it is funny to them. These bullies or others causing harm negligently without much reason, murdering souls, contribute to physical suicide numbers, or attempts.
Naturally at some point when people get damaged repeatedly by them, and the life is completely blocked and exhaustive efforts repeatedly wasted, either somebody wants to kill one’s self as their life has in effect already been taken, so it is only a statement on the physical level, or want to kill them to stop their killing, stop the murder of other’s being, the destruction of other’s efforts, the death of other’s souls.
So maybe people experiencing that nonsense feel like taking the vandals out, helping them, release some of their karma maybe, or taking one’s self out, physical killing to represent the soul death, to do it to have some control and to express the truth of the situation.
The intensity of feeling that would cause such action, killing in response to murder and attempted murder or negligent murder of a soul, is super intense. Understandable really.
Incredible strength is needed to rise above the vandals playing games to destroy or toy with other’s life and being.
Some say we planted the seeds and in effect suggest we are therefore deserving of harm. So it is okay for the vandals to do what they do and justified. I don’t agree. Not with the last part anyway. That is a twisted out of context view.
The harm is not excusable or justified, the callous selfish destruction of another’s world, wounding of a soul, for some perverse pleasure. It is sickness.
Some even say, it is good we harm ourself as we are bad ones since we must have planted the seeds and that is why we are getting evil directed to us. Sounds like a sick abusive excuse and justification for abusive behaviour.
Regardless of seeds planted, no it is not okay to be receiving abuse.
Nor is it okay to be committing abuse, nor harming oneself, though the tendency and frustration is understandable, and compassion well placed.
Sorry to hear the story of abuse, and thankful when suicides did not succeed, suicide attempts in response to abuse.
Quite hard to rise above it all and not kill in response to the killing, not to kill oneself or others or harm one’s self or others in response to murder of various sorts, of the body of the soul.
The planet seems in a place now where it is having to learn how to handle that, handle so much abuse, not to escalate but to heal. Very challenging.
How to deal with low energy when overwhelmed with suicidal ideation?
33 55
Respectfully, this needs to have a trigger warning. People going through these things should not be confronted with the details of your trauma in the start of the video, please use mindful language to let people know what they are expecting.
I found the same issue with your book in which it details gruesome and traumatic imagery with no trigger warning or mention beforehand, for people going through trauma and mental health issues this is not acceptable and I witnessed the lack of trigger warning cause severe anguish to a loved one. Please think about this dear Sister, thank you for sharing.
Thank you dear friend. We have updated the text with much care. ❤ We very much appreciate your sharings.
@@plumvillageappI just want to say the that I actually appreciate the honesty of how this video is shared. It says suicide in the title and not everything can come with a trigger warning. This video and her sharing her experiences resonated with me because I experienced trauma in a different way but connected to her honesty.. It made it relatable. I watched and read so many books to try to help myself and no one could express it in the way she has.
48:18 Self harm is an act of courage? Shame on you.
TYVVM Sister, I am grateful.
Thank you
🙏