Someone from my Twitch chat told me to plug my channel here. If you all would like to hang out with me during the week, I stream games every Monday thru Friday at twitch.tv/konchoktw 💜 It should be noted that I do not make any money from RUclips or Twitch. My goal with my social media outlets is to spread awareness for schizophrenia and mental illnesses in general. Feel free to hop into chat while I'm live and ask any questions! I look forward to meeting new friends! 🧡
@@daymenpollet4202 I am still unsure why I was told no. It was the same mental hospital that I stayed at previously, and for the first visit, they let me admit myself? It was bizarre. I'm assuming there is more to the story but everything I was personally told is said in the video.
@@KonchokTWI’m not sure that it makes sense that a hospital wouldn’t admit a patient experiencing psychosis, if someone feels like they may harm themselves and want to be admitted that should be enough.
I just want to say I hugely respect you. You've lived with schizophrenia, believing you are being stalked and about to be attacked and even so, you've decided to show your vulnerability on the Internet. That's something most men can't do even when they don't have any mental disorders. You are essentially a hero. I hope you know that.
I just want to share my experiences is all. Schizophrenics have a bad reputation in my opinion, with many thinking they are absolutely insane and live in psych wards their entire life, or that they are violent. I am simply trying to spread the word that I am a human being just like everyone else, and I have *and* feel emotions.
@@KonchokTWI've never heard of someone with this disorder talking about it! Just heard horror stories and tbh u just seem nice :) is saying "disorder" rude? If it is sorry
I've been to a psychiatric hospital 3 times for schizophrenia as well. I related so much to everything you said. The awful thing about not being able to use your cellphone, just wanting to go home so bad because you're sick of the place. Having to strip naked in front of someone and wear a hospital gown. It sucks so bad. When you're in those facilities you're in there for a week, but it feels like you're in there for a month. Also having the psychosis was relatable. I remember i was thinking people were after me to kill me
and i heard they block the internet, they block infowars and truth telling stuff but allow fake CNN to exist. they dont want you to learn how to heal yourself becuase then nomore pill farm
I'm glad you weren't in there for too long realistically. One of my family members has been institutionalized for 2 years. It's terrible that anyone has to suffer this fate.
@Dr1ftsniper ...cleanliness? No risk of accidentally ruining the clothes and having to pay the patient for new ones? Ability to identify patients from family? Use your brain.
13:40 My brother called 911 to get an escort to a mental hospital when he was experiencing psychosis but when the cops got there they were put off by how friendly and "normal" he was and asked if he wanted to drive himself. He told them that was a bad idea because he couldn't trust himself not to crash the car. Thankfully they took his word on that and didn't make him drive. Emergency services really need better training in mental health.
Hi there! I'm 19, I was admitted to a mental facility when I was 11. My experience is very similar to yours in many ways, with the added bonus that I was a kid, and I stayed there for two whole months and I wasn't allowed to talk to my family at all for at least one month. I was admitted there because of behavioral issues (conduct disorder). I was lonely. Most patients were at least 13, the oldest ones being 17, admitted there because of eating disorders and depression. We had to share rooms with, I believe 10 other people? And shower under supervision. It was pretty terrible. They didn't treat us kindly, and mostly we were bored, but I remember that after breakfast they would let us watch TV around the time Phineas and Ferb was on. That was the highlight of my day. Genuinely we had very little to do, there were three old books in a shelf we had to fight for every day, and board games were rarely allowed, he had to ask a nurse and she would allow it or deny it depending on a set of arbitrary criteria that was never shared with us. I was also restrained, choked, and sexually assaulted by staff. I was eleven and very confused about everything that was happening. Every week a human rights supervisor would go to ask us questions but the older patients told me that speaking out could hurt my chances of getting out so we all kept quiet. The other patients were the best part. I met a lot of interesting people, most of who happened to be a part of the lgbt community. Lesbians, trans men, etc, so that really made me become more accepting of my own sexuality and gender later on. Some of the girls were also pregnant and had to be kept under supervision and eat different meals because of that. I actually found someone there who I was able to recognize, and who recognized me! At the time I did Taekowndo and turns out we had met before in a national tournament, which was wild. Sometimes I miss the people I met there, despite all the cruelty we were subjected to they were kind and we helped each other the best way we could. Over all, do not recomend the experience. I recognize it saved my life, I mean, most kids don't attempt suicide by age 11 and yet there I was. I'm better now, sure, but I am not sure the part where they low-key tortured us was really necessary for the healing process?? I feel like we need to do activism or something to reduce the abuses some institutions get away with. Pretty sure I got some PTSD from that. Either way, I hope you're doing better, man! Many hugs. Mental illness is a bitch (I suffer from dissociation) but life is worth it regardless. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Wow, your story hurt my heart. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I now realize after reading so many comments on this video that I got rather lucky with my hospital. I'm glad you are still around, my friend. Much love to you.
@@KonchokTW I wish mental hospitals would be better man, they can be genuinely good for some people but a lot don't get the funding and regulations they need. I am always happy to exchange stories with other people who have had better experiences so I know things can change and be better in the future 🫂
My experience there was nowhere as bad as yours but I was severely bullied by the staff and other patients, and being forced to stay in my room for a week without any interaction with anyone or be able to see the sun. But I’ve also come to the conclusion that there definitely needs to be some activism advocating for people locked up in these facilities, often against their will. I’m extremely sorry for everything you went through and you did NOT deserve that. It’s a sick world we live in but it’s worth it because we get to choose to change it. I’m 18 but I know that I want to devout the rest of my life to causes like this. So much injustice. I remember confronting the head of the facility I was in and when I made a list of human rights abuses that I observed when I was there, she pretty much just antagonized me while mental health interns and students observed me like a guinea pig and laughed at me despite how composed and professional I was trying to be. Never again.
the stuttering is so real, lol. ive had speech issues my whole life and stutter ALOT..i rlly get it lol. glad your doing much better now, well enough to speak about your experiences. I hope you're doing better now. and even though idk you, im really proud of you for being clean for THAT long. thats a really amazing milestone :).stay safe and have a great day/night :333!!!
I really appreciate this comment, thank you very much my friend. The stuttering really got to me in this video. I should have taken notice of it and took a break from recording, but oh well. I just prefer my videos to be my raw experiences with little editing, as I do not want to overexaggerate my case or make it seem more dramatic than it is. Thank you again!
@@KonchokTW I just wonder if you don't mind. Is the stutter something you did even before your mental problems or is it directly linked to your condition or medication you are using? Because it seems you stutter more when you talk about parts that make you uncomfortable. Either way as many people in comments already said. It takes some balls to tell a story like that. I wish you well, stay strong.
@@samueldubik4418 I have stuttered all my life. I have a diagnosis of "Childhood onset fluency disorder". However, I have been noticing it getting worse the longer I've been on this journey.
Don’t apologise for your stammer. I have a horrible stammer - it doesn’t affect my viewing experience. You got this :) Edit since I’ve finished watching: I’m appalled by your experiences. You should have been helped significantly sooner. And I mean actually helped, not half assed by your first visit. I’m proud of you for being a year clean! You’ve done amazingly well, things won’t be easy, but you’re doing fantastic. I’m proud of you :)
12:10 this genuinely scared me shitless because i'm schizophrenic and today my step dad bought a gun which has led me to having horrible, painful panic attacks. i have no idea if im right to be as afraid as i am or if im delusional. this video couldn't have been recommended at a better time, thanks for sharing. i might go to a hospital, even with the possible hardships.
I am so terribly sorry you are going through this. If you genuinely believe your life is in danger, then yes I would recommend hospitalization, at least until this episode of psychosis passes. I do not know your story with your step dad, but I relate with it. I had a bit of an episode when I found out my family purchased a gun, as I had a traumatic experience with firearms as a child and I jumped to conclusions and was very afraid myself. I sincerely wish you well. You got this.
@@KonchokTWthank you so much, i'm sorry you went through that too. that's pretty much the boat im in. this video helped me get grounded, i found it very insightful. i appreciate you sharing
when my dad bought a gun, I definitely was scared of it a lot but I trusted him to responsibly used it because he showed me how to responsibly use one. has your dad taught you how to responsibly use it? if not, you should ask your dad, and I think having that validation in that he knows what he's doing with it might help quell some fears. guns are scary in general, so I think this might not all be psychosis. you could be fueling the anxiety but other than that I think your fear is valid, but the source of the fear (being that your dad might use it on you, or accidentally use it on you) is an anxiety that's being perpetuated by inner thoughts of insecurity. just like OP, I know nothing about your situation, but this is my advice on moving forward with your anxieties.
this is a little unrelated but. I have a terrible terrible stutter, like i got speech therapy in middle school and my speach therapist sobbed listening to me. And despite moving frequently to different schools I had never met anyone with a stutter, watching your video really made me realize im not alone in this. Im glad youre at your best today and I just hope it continues. This video genuinely almost made me cry. Big love also from the south!
This enrages me. I've had a similar experience with rural mental health care: They make it lonely and the beds are terrible, are quick to diagnose emotional dysregulation with bipolar, tend not to question self diagnosis, offer activities that have very little scientific value in terms of improving outcome (no CBT/DBT group therapy or the like), have no clue what complex trauma is, make admitting self more expensive with ER visit and ambulance ride, make the paranoid even more paranoid with fear of demeaning repercussions, overprescribe expensive medications like Abilify that make you nearly pass out just standing up. I've experienced ALL OF THAT. I considered it one notch above prison and a cash grab. No need to do proper treatment as long as the Medicaid/Medicare money breaks even and keeps flowing. Likely diagnosis: Severe attachment issues and Complex PTSD. Emotional triggers severe enough can cause dissociation that even the memory of your own self defeating thoughts can become muddled...it feels like psychosis but it's not true psychosis (you're aware you're experiencing it). Schizophrenics are not aware (they break with reality and that's that). Antipsychotics won't help will dissociation and can make the zombification even worse. What you needed all along was somebody to care about you (put hand on and pray). What you needed is a hug and somebody to hear you out. Those patients did more than any staff member and I assume your community here is doing more as well.
hey dude i have Borderline Personality disorder. Maybe try to find a doctor that listens truly to what you say. I needed a long time to get the diagnosis and finally get DBT. But i can assure you that DBT saved my life. I don't think I would be still alive without it. I also experience visual hallucinations and paranoid thinking when my BPD gets out of hand (once it has been so bad I got misdiagnosed with psychosis). Maybe BPD fits you as well? CPTSD and BPD have a lot of overlap, and from what you wrote, it really sounds a lot like my experience. Also If you want to get into DBT you have to search for it yourself. Normal psych wards can never offer the treatment we need. Its more like a badge, its not fixing anything for people like us. I had to wait for half a year until i could begin DBT therapy bcs the waiting list was that long. Hope everything works out for you :)
Such an amazing and relatable story. I have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia, chronic anxiety disorder, BP1&2, ADHD, and High Functioning Autism. I used to be 3 forms of medical lingo depressed and self harming. You brought me back a lot of experiences i still need to heal from, but the fact you brought up the good bits brought back all the good it did do me. In a way you helped me come to terms with the mental hospitals in a more positive light. Also, man, the stuttering in this video was real! I admire your bravory to post not only your story but for who you are authenticly. Im so glad i got this on my front page!
Hello, My experiences are quite similar, I'm 25, I had my first psychotic episode in 2020, shortly after covid lockdowns, and went into hospital for 11 days. My initial diagnosis was a psychotic episode, and I was put on anti-psychotics and antidepressants. The hospital was not bad. A lot of the things you described were the same. We were allowed to have our phones, though. We had to get them charged by the staff, and if they noticed you were using it too much, they might not give it back to you straight away. After hospital, I started seeing a psychiatrist fairly regularly and was later diagnosed with schizophrenia in the same year. I guess I was a bit lucky with that. About a year later, I ended up in hospital again for a while. I won't explain in detail here, but I came close to dying from a side effect of a new medication. This time, I was in hospital for much longer. I was released for about a week but ended up back in hospital again, as I couldn't adjust. I was moved to a different facility after a while, which was a bit like a halfway house. I remember spending Christmas and New Years there at the end of 2021, going into 2022. Simce I left that place I've been slowly recovering. I was blessed with a great case manager and later a really good psychiatrist. I'm no longer on any medications since about 2 months and doing well. I feel the happiest I've ever been and have felt this way for probably over a year. I do worry that I will regress into a delusional state again, but I'm confident that I would be able to get good help again.
Hey, just remember that if you can feel this way right now (happy, positive, etc.), then you can reach that state once again, no matter what difficulties might come your way.
@@PinkBroBlueRope if you're attempting to correlate a link between a covid vaccine and psychosis, don't bother. The first vaccine weren't made publicly available until 2021, including the early ones for high-risk individuals and medical staff. The only side-effects of the vaccine are physical. Vaccines do not cause autism or any other mental health disorder.
taking away your cellphone really depends on the mental hospital, sometimes they’ll let you have more stuff if your not suicidal. I’ve never been inpatient mental hospital, only just holding at a regular hospital. I respect you sharing your experience, also i haven’t watched minecraft content in a while but this video made me click as I was curious about your experience.
I was hospitalized for about a week just a few days ago. It kinda sucked, but it kept me alive, which is what I needed them to do. Thanks for sharing this, man. I'm sure it wasn't easy.
I've only been hospitalized once, in 2020. I don't have schizophrenia, but I have anxiety, depression, and autism. I attempted suicide and ended up in a coma for three days. Because I was a minor at the time, I was forced to be admitted. After I awoke from my coma in the regular hospital, they transported me by ambulance to a mental hospital in a different city. It sucked and didn't really help honestly. I was there for eight days and cried for 6 hours straight my first night there. My mattress was made out of plastic, my hair was greasy because they didn't give me enough shampoo, and I was forced to be a roomate to someone who kept trying to make unwanted romantic advances towards me. She was later moved, thankfully, because she lied about having COVID and was forced to be isolated even though she didn't have it (the nurses wanted to teach her a lesson). We had our own bathrooms in our rooms, but you had to share a bathroom if you had a roomate. Every morning I woke up to my blood being taken, they didn't even wake me up first so I just woke up with a needle in my arm. The food was awful and one day it was so bad that one of the nurses took pity on us and ordered pizza for the entire unit. She was one of the only things I liked about the place. One of the other nurses was awful, she told us that the only reason we were mentally ill was because we were possessed by demons and that we had to ask God to forgive us. I know she's religious, but she's a healthcare provider and shouldn't try to force her beliefs on us by scaring us into thinking we were demonic or something. The activities were okay, I participated in everything because I wanted to get out of there ASAP. Everyone could make a 10 minute phone call to their parents once a day. I missed my mom and my bed. There was a girl in my unit who kept having blackouts and tried to kill everyone, she had to be booty juiced a lot. I had a lot of panic attacks because of her banging noises and violent behavior. After I left, I didn't get better, but I never seriously attempted again because I was afraid to go back to the hospital.
@@KonchokTW Thank you, and thank you for sharing your experience as well. Honestly, it was bad but it could've been a lot worse. And it was four years ago. I do think I'm better mentally now then I was then, even though the mental hospital made me feel worse for a while. I'm grateful that there are at least some people who've had good experiences in mental hospitals, because that means that there has been effort put into making them better than what they used to be.
abuse is wayy too common in psych wards. I have heard that sentiment of not seriously attempting due to fear of being institutionalized time and time again. mental hospitals can be and frequently are hell on earth.
I clicked on this video because the title and the thumbnail confused me but this was actually very informative; I'm glad you decided to share this very personal story to help educate and demystify people on this taboo subject!
really glad this came to my recommended front page. i just got out of a mental hospital for psychotic depression because of my bipolar. i was hearing voices forcing me to hurt myself, i was delusional and genuinely believed the staff of a certain discord server i was banned from were gangstalking me. i was admitted because i had a plan to jump off a building (because of the voices telling me that) and the experience was okay. i cried a lot too because i missed my family and wanted to go home. i stayed there for 3 weeks. it was rough, but got the help i needed by changing my medication to antipsychotics, antidepressants. i can relate to your story and im proud how much you overcame your struggles. rooting for you!
I've heard so many bad stories about mental facilities... Back in 2020 I developed severe depression and almost k*lled myself. In 2022 I developed severe anxiety and cut myself. But I am a stubborn person and I found my own ways to cure my own problems with the help of my mom. Never got diagnosed, never took meds, never went to mental. I just learned how to meditate and control my emotions really well, as well as changing my lifestyle and mindset. Sometimes I still get waves of stress, anxiety, or depression but now I can handle it really well. I'm glad things have gotten better for you and I hope they continue to get better! I also relate to your autism and stuttering. But no need to apologize! It's just a part of who you are :)
Thank you so much for posting this. I know I need to be hospitalized, as I am becoming a danger to myself and becoming very paranoid, but with the horror stories of how mentally ill people were treated in Asylums pre-2000s have me so so scared to go, even if I know most mental health wards are very much not like this now. You have seriously given me a boost to start seriously considering it, not just for my family who I love, but for myself. You are an amazing and beautiful soul. I wish the best for you and every happiness!
I sincerely and wholeheartedly wish you well, my friend. I do believe it would be good for you. Though, every hospital is different. I do hope yours will treat you fairly. Just be completely transparent with everyone and get the help you need! I am proud of you.
If you have not already done so, I implore you to look into your local mental hospital. It's nice to hear that some people have good experiences with them, but many do not. I have friends who were traumatized by being admitted to them, and as some people in the comments have stated, they are rife with abuse.
@SeptisHighborn yeah, im really looking to avoid any new trauma ahah! i have a therapist who has recommended me a place that she herself has stayed at and tells me is really good. so hopefully if i crash again I have that to fall back onto.
I've also been in a crisis at the ER before, too. It's incredibly demeaning the first time. It's about time we talk about these experiences, whether negative or positive. Healthcare is a little bit stretched at this point in time, and I feel like it'll get better if we get more professionals and other care improvements. As somebody who not only has been through crisis, but is also entering the mental healthcare field, your experience was incredibly insightful...you're incredibly brave for speaking about your experience, especially with something so vulnerable. Best of luck, take care on your path to healing
Thank you so much for this! I recently applied for a position at a mental hospital, as I am already a caregiver for people in my family who have similar challenges and was excited about the chance to possibly help some more people through rough patches as well. Whatever the results of that interview, I will carry your experiences with getting help in my heart to give me a better perspective on what the person across from me is experiencing.
I respect your career choice! The only thing I wish for you, is that you treat the patients like any other "normal" person. Sadly, I was often treated like a child as if I was low functioning. Some of the nurses definitely looked down on some of the patients which is sad. But you seem like a good person! I sincerely wish you well.
@@KonchokTW Oh my gosh, thank you so much! And thank you for the additional insight, that's a valuable bit of advice to keep in back of my mind to check against since I am most used to caring for children. Important not to slip into a one-size-fits-all "mental groove" for everyone and foremost respect who they are as individuals!
if you atualy try to help, they will fire. i seen several testimonies of CURED scitzofranic peaople who once they sied the enitys are NOT "just in there head" like the hospital drills into them and they are NOT THEIR THOUGHTS, and they are archonic or denmonic enitys, all suddenly if they belive that tuly the "voices" stop and they are cured, they fired a nurse for teaching that truth and curing some, there is no money in healthy peaople.
not as a child, but i felt like i was being thought of as an animal by the staff, they laughed at me during an episode. just please treat your patients as human beings and even if it gets annoying be patient and try to understand them 💜
I spent most of my time crying when I was hospitalized too :/ we had card games too. the food was terrible. at night they came in like every 30 minutes and it was super annoying and not fun. it was super traumatizing for me
I am so sorry you had to go through that. I remember nights were terrible. The beds were so bad and the pillows were as thin as paper. Due to me self harming as stated in the video, people would come check on me every 15 minutes and open my door and let light through, which kept me awake all night. I was such a zombie from the combination of the insane dose of medications and the lack of sleep. I feel for you!
Ive been diagnosed schizoaffective disorder since 2018, and ive been to 2 mental hospitals since. I relate a bit to your story, although quite different from mine, but my awareness of my illness plus the expectations put on myself and from the people around me, mainly before they knew of my illness, has made me feel like i should be able already to be a better person and im contantly compairing myself to who i think i should be. Your compassion for yourself and others has inspired me, and i hope i can one day be more compassionate of myself as well.
not a schizophrenic but they tried to diagnose me with it, turns out i was sleep deprived due to being in a strange place (psych ward) and scared due to witnessing an unaliving outside my house and was diagnosed with ptsd instead when i got admitted to a different ward, getting a second opinion. im glad that they were able to actually help you! they're good when they work and bad when they just dont.
seeing you talk about your issues with your mental health combined with minecraft MY FAV GAME EVER healed something in me. so thank you so much and congratulations on your recovery man.
It feels like you are directly talking to the viewer. That gives the video a more personal feel. Being on the path of recovery, having insight to your problems, looking back and forward is such a priceless experience that I think everyone deserves to experience
thanks for sharing your experiences and i hope you're feeling well :) i graduated with a psych degree but i'm not in the field of mental health now. Hearing your perspective was super insightful because it's so much more tangible than having to memorize diagnostic criteria for an exam.. Listening to stories like yours is what got me interested in studying the brain in the first place a couple years back and now i'm in grad school for neuroscience, so again: thanks!
Thank you for sharing your story! Usually the first time in a mental hospital is the toughest, and we're not always ready for the help we know we need. I've been in Midwestern mental hospitals in around 2017-2019, but I always felt like everyone saw them much worse than they really are. I was very shy back then so I usually struggled to make friends, but people always were willing to pull me into their groups and stuff. We did get our own ROOMS tho... That's sweet👀 we always had to share with someone else P.S. super proud of you for the sobriety!! 💜
You deserve huge props for the bravery it takes to lay out all this stuff to the public. I have the tiniest fraction of a fraction of your experience with mental health related hardships, but I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable sharing something so personal and heavy online. I'm happy to see someone stay strong and keep playing the cards they were dealt in life well. We all need such examples perhaps now more than ever.
I hope I don't sound insincere or mean spirited when I say this, but I really like listening to you talk. You have a nice speaking voice and the way you describe these events, even as traumatic as they were to you, is easy to follow and understand your feelings and actions at that time. I personally had to go to two mental hospitals in my lifetime and even though it wasn't due to the same mental problems you had, my experiences are VERY similar haha. The first time was a true nightmare for me and I didn't stay long as it was very scary and traumatic for me. The second time was much better and helpful and since then my life has improved a lot. I did have a somewhat hard time after the second visit, but I found a therapist who was absolutely perfect for me and I love them very much. They changed my life so drastically, that it's still kind of mind boggling to me how fast my life improved thanks to them. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, it helps to hear that you're not the only one struggling with mental health.
Thank you so much for the kind words. I was reading off of a script in this video, I used to be able to wing it and just ramble for my commentaries but as I've gone along on this journey I've found it hard to process my thoughts and turn them into words due to the mess of a salad in my brain. I'm glad I was able to say what I wanted to say in this video. Also, I am so proud of you for reaching out and getting help, and staying strong! You got this, my friend.
It is really brave of you to talk about this, i have myself been in the mental hospital 3 times because of a very rough depression. It is very helpful hearing other People talkin about their experiences❤
Really great video. I work in a psychiatric hospital and it was interesting to learn about what an admission is like from your perspective. It was also cool to see the similarities and differences between your hospital policy and mine. I'm glad you're doing better and remember that after you've left the hospital we staff are still rooting for you.
Not sure how but I stumbled upon this video on my feed and chose to listen. I think it's very brave of you to share this story. It must be very nerve wracking. I don't suffer from schizophrenia or bipolar myself but I do appreciate hearing from someone that does so candidly because I never know when I could have a friend or relative deal with this. I wish you the best going forward.
You are a very very good storyteller, better than many I've scene on RUclips. You construct your sentences to flow really pleasantly despite how hard this video must have been to made. I've struggled with bipolar type symptoms from severe ADHD and years on years of trauma, and I relate with a lot of what you say here despite the difference in our conditions. The bursting out crying while at the doctor's appointment really hit me, as the same thing happened when I looked for help. Really really big respect for finding within yourself to make this video and the other videos on your channel, will be subscribing
I might be trippin but it really looked like you stuttered the most in moments where you talked about traumatic experiences. Hope you are doing great my friend. God bless you an your family
the amount you forget is insane during psychosis, it's similar to the amount of details you forget when in a physical fight, at least for me thanks for sharing!
Thank you for being so open about this. I stayed in a few hospitals for attempting and the schizophrenic kids were always the sweetest, even when they were scared
As someone else on the rocky road of recovery from psychosis, this video was so wonderful. Hearing you describe experiences so similar to mine made me feel less alone, and your voice and personality is so comforting to listen to. Thank you 🥹❤️
Your video popped up in my recommendations. I have a distant cousin who's suffering from some sort of psychosis and his family isn't handling him well. He's not getting the help he needs and I don't have any power to help but idk what could be done. Thank you for sharing your story and spreading awareness
i wish i was as brave as you making a video like this i don't have schizophrenia at the level you have but i do have it a little and i also have autism and also a Buddhist i'm glad i watched this video i'm sorry you went through that mental health issues suck i have horrible anxiety so i know how bad it can get at times and i hope your life continues to get better
Thanks for sharing this. Im really proud of you man, and I give you the biggest hug I can. I spent a couple weeks in a psych ward for the first time earlier this year. Patients on a psych ward can be some of the realest people. When you're there, everyone is near rock bottom, so no one has anything to hide. I found my interactions with other patients to be very genuine. We were all going through it in one form or another. Anyways, much love man, and once again thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you very much for sharing this, man. I have schizophrenia as well, diagnosed since 2018. I've been to the psych ward twice, yet I wasn't admitted either time. They didn't see an urgent need for it since I wasn't a threat to myself or others, I was seeking psychiatric help on my own initiative, and when they said "we can admit you if you want but you don't have to," both times I opted simply to go home. Funny thing is, the second time I went, there was this chair beside the intake desk at the ER. I told them about my symptoms and they asked me to take a seat when they were done, then asked me to come back and sit in that chair because they didn't want me to be too far away from them. I guess they were scared I was going to have second thoughts and run away lol. That time, I brought a backpack full of random stuff like clothes and my Kindle that I thought I would need. Among my possessions was a Bible, and fortunately they let me read it in the "waiting room" where they put all the psych ward aspirants. Another guy and I read the Psalms together; in that room, the TV above my head playing movies I could hear but couldn't see, fearful of my future, not knowing if I would still be sane enough to be a Christian by the end of the week, the songs of David gave me great comfort. Psalms 6 and 30 in particular are my favorite. I know you said you're certain you'll relapse, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that you won't. You've grown so much since the start of your journey and you're clearly a kind soul. Hold onto reality as tight as you can, for as long as you can. It's tough with this illness, but I believe in you.
Thank you so much for this comment. Your words truly touches me. I wish you well with your journey as well, my friend. It's so lovely how religion can help humans out, despite us sharing many different thoughts and beliefs.
You are so real for posting this and speaking so openly about your experiences! I've been through 4 psychotic episodes in the past 10 years, 2 of which got me in the hospital. I remember almost nothing from my visits but the people I met in there. I think about the laughs and kind moments I shared with others at the lowest point in their lives all the time. I'll carry their words of wisdom with me, as jumbled as they might be, for the rest of my life. Much love to you, and I hope your recovery continues to go well.
thank you for being so open with this, i can relate to almost everything you were talking about. i have bipolar i, anxiety, and bpd, and have been admitted 3 times, all attempts, the last one was very serious. the first hospitalization was the worst, they misdiagnosed me with depression and put me on ssris which sparked a bad manic episode down the line. you're so right when you say the people there are the nicest people you'll ever meet. i feel like the patients there with me actually cared, and helped me open up in group therapy which helped walk me down from my manic episodes that landed me in the hospital in the first place. thank you for sharing your experiences man. no one talks about this stuff, even though its one of the most important topics nowadays. we have so many people struggling with mental health and we tend to ignore, make fun of, or infantilize their issues, which does nothing. but sharing your story i think helps a lot (also congrats on a year clean! im hitting that in a couple weeks)
dude, the part where you stumbled over your words so genuinely as you tried to remember that traumatic experience with your old bully, damn i was crying. you're a real G for making it out
Oh, I apologize. The goal of this video was not to make people feel sorry for me. I just wanted to share what my experiences were in mental hospitals since the only ideas people get about them are from movies and television shows. I appreciate the kind words, though. Much love.
@@KonchokTW nah nah i mean, in a beautiful way it touched me dude i didn't mean no disrespect haha. i'd say you did that and much more, it was inspiring.
Really makes you think, people can feel and think this way because of a disease, i'm to privileged to even notice at times to know how much people like you have to deal with. My heart goes out to you, man, i know a bit more about schizophrenia now than before this video. Thank you for that, and hopefully, you don't relapse any time soon. On an unrelated note, I recommend listening to some NSDR videos to calm down. It helped me at my worst, so maybe it will help you as well :) (NSDR andrew huberman, it should be a 10 minute long video from virtusan) Hope this helped in any sort of way and good night.
Thanks for sharing, me son. I do not have schizophrenia, but I do have major OCD. As you know, that disorder is a freaking mess, to put it lightly. Nothing but an endless roller-coaster loop of obsessions and compulsions with your brain believing something will change if you do or think something for the five millionth time. I have never been to a mental hospital or psych ward, but I have had two significantly long therapy sessions spanning almost a year with each. That, along with medicine and mental tools, has drastically helped me because if I had not sought help and been a part of the second prolonged therapy timelapse, there was a good chance I would have ended it. Once again, thank you for sharing, and I am happy to hear you became better through your decision to seek help.
Thanks for speaking up on this topic. I really respect your courage to tell all these stuff and post them online. There are some mean comments here, and they suck. I learned a lot and gained a lot more confidence from this video, and I hope everything goes well for you my friend.
Thank you for sharing your story, for all the bad things the internet can bring, its kinda beautiful that we have technology for anyone to be able to share their stories with the world. ❤
thank you for sharing, man, this takes so much bravery that doesn't go unseen. amazing job painting the scope and narrative, my heart goes out to you, yo
oh man this vid genuinely made me tear up. I’ve had a real rough time this year but hearing you talk about your story really inspires me. I’ve been just questioning why I’m going though through the things I’m going through but in a way your story helps me realize I’m not alone at all in my suffering. That to be human is to at least live through all goods and bads. I wish you a happy happy life.
Awesome video, I don't have psychosis myself but I've got autism like you and Ive got a lot of overlapping symptoms. I will agree mental health wards are dehumanizing and not as effective as they could but the silver lining is at least they work for their function of diagnosing stuff medication and though I live in Canada it might be different for you. Intereting story; one of my friends had a psychotic break from smoking weed that was laced with PCP according to the toxicology report, and his symptoms were extremely similar to yours. Eventually, we called his dad home from work and he was admitted because he was having almost identical paranoid symptoms though he was about to die from lung cancer rather than your reason. Just kinda reminded me of that whole event. Glad you're good now because this is great for anyone curious about mental health stuff, you're really well-spoken and since you're willing to talk about your experience it's a lot more interesting and informative than most other videos on this topic by any bigger channels.
Thank you for sharing your story 🖤🖤 I've had similar things, but with depression and suicide and OCD. I never went to a mental hospital. But this last year in December 2023 - about May 2024, I had such terrible anxiety I genuinely thought i was going to die. It stems from my OCD with being obsessed with death, I had such terrible anxiety from stress. Its not the first time since my entire childhood i was put into stressful and abusive households, and when I was younger my entire childhood i couldn't stop the intrusive thoughts, i genuinely believed i was a terrible person due to my intrusive thoughts. I became even more suicidal and depressed. My compulsions to count literally took over my life for literally 12 hours minimum every day of my life. I was diagnosed with CPTSD by my therapist when I was around 13 years old
@@KonchokTW tysm, i really appreciate it. I hope you continue doing well on your journey with schizophrenia, it can be hard sometimes but you can do it.🖤
I am happy to see someone discuss the feelings of paranoia especially when it gets bad this kind of extent. I can't discuss my own extreme paranoia (something very very similar happened to me - I had a falling out with internet friends and lived in constant fear for a couple years that, no matter where I went, they would find me and kill me or ruin my life) because I am scared that people will then try to enact those kinds of things against me... it's a stupid and irrational fear, but I have to live with it every single day and I don't talk to anyone about it at all. I understand that most other people who experience paranoia (esp on a schizophrenic level) don't want to talk about it publicly for the same reasons, which only makes us feel more isolated and lonely and like these fears must either be real and logical or completely in our heads rather than something other people experience . Thank you for being brave (Also maybe a question : do you have to have literal visual/auditory hallucinations to be schizophrenic, or can it also just entail delusions? I have considered the idea that I have PPD, but I'm never really sure. And all of these symptoms overlap so much, I really don't like psychiatry much.)
Thank you for the comment. I will copy this from the DSM-5 detailing the "requirements" for a schizophrenia diagnosis: "Two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated). At least one of these must be delusions, hallucinations or disorganized speech: Delusions Hallucinations Disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence) Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition)" So no, you do not need to suffer from hallucinations to be schizophrenic. Though, it should be noted that just because you (or anyone else reading this) may have some of the symptoms I just listed, it doesn't necessarily mean you have schizophrenia. There are many paranoia/psychosis related illnesses. I recommend reaching out to a psychologist if you are curious instead of self-diagnosing. I sincerely wish you well with your troubles, my friend.
I wasn't ever admitted to a mental hospital, but I was kind of close to getting into one. I had a suicide attempt, but they made me say I was just doing it to scare my parents, I was 13 at the time, I think. I'm so glad I didn't get into a mental hospital, they're awful here in Russia. Thank you for sharing your experience, you're really brave for doing that!! I'm so glad you're better now. I hope you won't ever again be at the point where you need to get admitted to a mental hospital.
Thank you for this cause I've been admitted 4 times in total and I'm only 18. They chemically restrained me, and I'm honestly just running away from the system, yk? Like I don't want to let them trap me, I don't talk to no one about anything. I don't want to put myself in a position where they can hurt me again, even if it means I tweak out- I'll just fucking lock myself in a room, I'll never go back, they'll have to chemically restrain me again and just fuck me up. Whatever.
thank you for telling us your experience :) I was admitted once in 2020 for suicidal ideation. It’s been tough but I think I’m slowly getting better. I’m wishing the best to you man, you’re so brave for talking about this so openly.
Im impressed with how good you are at describing the experience. Personally i would be feel better with ever seeking help because of how much i know about it now
i have schytzophrenia and its hard, my first episode was in 6th grade and i related to this a lot im happy you are able to tell this story without treating schytzophrenia like q conversation starter or a scary story
Hey, thanks for making a video like this. While not a schizophrenic, my clinical depression turned into psycotic depression during highschool while also being hospitalized during that time. Even though we're different i find this very comforting because I'm shy and too afraid to talk about something like this, speaking of which you are incredibly brave for doing something like this and actually going through it uploading it. Don't worry about the stuttering, i stutter too sometimes, which i can totally get how annoying it can be. I'm also autistic so the way i speak might be weird haha, anyways keep it up and keep taking care of yourself man. Mental illness and trauma is a very rough battle to deal with (and you're strong for being here).
I really appreciate the representation, i feel like stuff like this is kinda just left behind closed doors and not talked about much. Definitely scares me to even consider getting mental help when mental institutions don't have staff checks to make sure they are not abusing patients. But i guess not many are even willing to take on these jobs these days anyway. I hope you are doing well ❤
I believe I got lucky while I was locked up. Due to me self harming one night I was in there, they very well could have chosen to tie me up and restrain me to my bed. That would have been terrible. The fear of that happening helped me stop self harming oddly enough haha.
I've never been in a psych ward but I used to work in the mental health field, my degree is in psychology. I like hearing these stories "from the other side". Its very educational.
Very cool and informative video! Glad you took time to talk about your experience and upload a video of it for others to see. I wish you many many clean years to come and when worst come to worse that you'll handle it and get back on track! Best wishes and good luck!
You are very brave for sharing your story! You should be proud of how far you have come. I too have been to a psych ward, but that was when I was 14. I hope you feel better! and I am here for you if you need me to be.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's incredibly important for mental health awareness to reach a wide audience, because so many people don't realize they need help, or convince themselves not to seek it. I've struggled with depression since I was 13, being diagnosed at 14. I very nearly did not make it to adulthood, but I've been lucky to have the motivation to seek help, and I've had a few good friends in my life that were able to help me through some of my worst episodes. I urge anyone who feels like something is wrong to seek help. Therapists are hit and miss, but keep looking until you find the right understanding person to get you through your lowest.
This. I've been in therapy since I was 3 years old, and it took me until I was 23 to find the perfect one for me. It's kind of sad it took that long, but I am happy now, and that is all that matters. I am proud of you for staying strong! You got this.
what an absolute king for talking about this, takes a lot of strength. i'm an atheist, and still the idea of some christian people praying for a buddhist is so incredibly heartwarming. glad you are doing fine now and hope it stays like this, greetings from Chile
really relate to getting set off by algorithms online. theyre trying to be helpful and recommend things i want, but if im in a bad space i will think someone is trying to kill me.
I was in psychosis early 2023. I was locked in after threatening my mother with suicide and murder, and was sent to a room. My doctor gave me a medicine named abilify which made me incredibly suicidal and depressed, and when I asked him to remove it he said ”You don’t have the power..” Had it for 7 months. The first time I was locked in was 2 weeks then I was locked in for a month in March. I tried to deceive the doctors, so I was released early but locked again. I understand you perceive the mental hospital can be good, but from my perspective I would rather have psychosis than receive help since the help was worse.
I went to horsham. The kids were awful, people had seizures right in front of me several times, the entire place was dirty and had nicotine patches everywhere, the food was so bad that me, my roommate and a few others got food poisoning AND A STAFF MEMBER ACCUSED US OF FAKING IT AND HAVING BULIMIA despite the fact i threw up right in front of her and even showed her that my hands were dry, my stuffed animal was locked inside a closet but another girl got to keep hers, etc.
I'm in the process of becoming a psychologist even as I struggle with my own mental and physical health problems. Part of the reason I'm working so hard is because of the shitty treatment I've received in the past, the people that were supposed to help but didn't. The other part is because I remember the relief that came when I did recieve the help I needed. I try and listen to as many personal stories as I can, like yours, just so I can remember what it's like being on the other side. But I've also... really struggled this year and knowing there are other people like me, fighting as hard as I am, helps. We deserve peace and happiness. Thank you for making this video.
Hi there, you just popped up in my suggested and I’m really glad you did. I don’t have schizophrenia as far as I know-but I do have some other stuff, mainly persistent depressive disorder, PTSD (which tbh I think I have C-PTSD specifically but that’s as far as I’ve gotten with that diagnosis), anxiety, and I’m trying to get tested for ADHD. I haven’t been a full on in patient at a hospital before, but I did this program called “partial hospitalization” where I basically went to the hospital everyday for ten days for intensive group therapy as if I were an in patient only I got to go home at the end of the day. It was really scary to go but I’m really glad I went….it helped a lot and I even made some friends…I really resonated with a lot of the stuff you talked about. Everyone there, all the patients, were the nicest people I’ve met. Ranging from my age (23 at the time) to a woman in her late 80s. We all got really close over those ten days. Talking about our issues together really helped…I’m thinking I might even go back again if things get scary again for me, because I know they can help me. Thank you for talking about mental health stuff. It’s really important and not enough people advocate for it.
This is an amazing video. Thank you. I'm 18 and have always wanted to become a psychologist, and having you talk about your experiences with a mental hospital while playing minecraft is peak content. It's a very nice comfort game to get your mind off of things. I'm very glad you don't apologize for your stuttering. It's not even remotely bothersome, and very understandable. I'd be so nervous talking about anything even remotely this personal.
thank you for this. ive been having trouble since a few months ago i started having psychotic thoughts. thankfully i think im getting better though im not in medication yet. but hearing your story really helped me realize i will be okay
Hi there, thank you for posting this awesome video. It's lovely to hear that you gain your happieness and self confidence. I don't usually post comments under videos but, your story is truelly inspiring and positive at the end. as a stranger on the internet, I wish you well. Take care
It’s unnerving how similar this was to my own experience at a mental hospital. I guess they have the same routines for each hospital. I remember my hospital had a bit less in it (no sofas or vending machines) but everything else was basically the exact same. I spent my 7 days playing solitaire by myself or playing kings in the corner with the one other friend I had. I remember looking at the high walls outside in the little courtyard and wondering if I could somehow jump the wall. I never want to go back, and it’s why I never told my counselors about my mental health again. (They we’re the ones who sent me originally). The only fun part I can remember is being in the ambulance at like 3:00 AM because it was like a roller coaster.
I will never forget that ambulance ride. The feeling of being literally tied down to a stretcher and wheeled into the back of one is just so haunting. I hope you are doing okay nowadays, my friend.
thank you for sharing your story❤️ this is sure to inspire other people to reach out. i watched this video twice!! you are a very likeable guy and im sorry you had to go through all this. i don't even know you but im genuinely so so proud of your strength and endurance. i wish you the best❤️
![GEEK TIMË [OFFICIAL AUDIO]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ry-6RvkH880/mqdefault.jpg)
Someone from my Twitch chat told me to plug my channel here. If you all would like to hang out with me during the week, I stream games every Monday thru Friday at twitch.tv/konchoktw 💜
It should be noted that I do not make any money from RUclips or Twitch. My goal with my social media outlets is to spread awareness for schizophrenia and mental illnesses in general. Feel free to hop into chat while I'm live and ask any questions!
I look forward to meeting new friends! 🧡
👍🏽👍🏽
That’s so sweet of you
@@Jmandagreat what you mean by this is "jesus christ alone" yet in the bible that phrase never appears once
Wonderful video brother, God bless ya and Jesus loves ya :)
It takes a hell of a big set of balls of steel to make a video of this. I salute and admire you sir.
Insane how the fella got through all that. Also extremely bizarre how he got tolled 'no' when he needed urgent help.
@@daymenpollet4202 I am still unsure why I was told no. It was the same mental hospital that I stayed at previously, and for the first visit, they let me admit myself? It was bizarre. I'm assuming there is more to the story but everything I was personally told is said in the video.
love big balls
@@KonchokTWI’m not sure that it makes sense that a hospital wouldn’t admit a patient experiencing psychosis, if someone feels like they may harm themselves and want to be admitted that should be enough.
Jf@@KonchokTW
"their brains may not have been in the best place, but their hearts were" thats such a kind way to put it. thank you for sharing your story 💕
that’s gonna stick with me. what a beautiful saying. we are built to care, for community. hope you’re well! 💞
I just want to say I hugely respect you.
You've lived with schizophrenia, believing you are being stalked and about to be attacked and even so, you've decided to show your vulnerability on the Internet.
That's something most men can't do even when they don't have any mental disorders.
You are essentially a hero. I hope you know that.
I just want to share my experiences is all. Schizophrenics have a bad reputation in my opinion, with many thinking they are absolutely insane and live in psych wards their entire life, or that they are violent. I am simply trying to spread the word that I am a human being just like everyone else, and I have *and* feel emotions.
@@KonchokTW
Of course, and you are a hero for doing something so far out of your comfort zone like that.
@@KonchokTWI've never heard of someone with this disorder talking about it! Just heard horror stories and tbh u just seem nice :) is saying "disorder" rude? If it is sorry
@@gattasara No worries at all, schizophrenia is indeed a brain disorder. Thank you for the kind words!
Yeah!
Giving a voice to people without one is my favorite thing about the internet
Funny comment in the context of a schizophrenia video
Love your Living Tombstone pfp!
And agreed!
@@jujuoof174 Thanks g
I've been to a psychiatric hospital 3 times for schizophrenia as well. I related so much to everything you said. The awful thing about not being able to use your cellphone, just wanting to go home so bad because you're sick of the place. Having to strip naked in front of someone and wear a hospital gown. It sucks so bad. When you're in those facilities you're in there for a week, but it feels like you're in there for a month. Also having the psychosis was relatable. I remember i was thinking people were after me to kill me
and i heard they block the internet, they block infowars and truth telling stuff but allow fake CNN to exist. they dont want you to learn how to heal yourself becuase then nomore pill farm
I was so surprised to find out i was only in there for a week and a half because it felt like a month lol
I'm glad you weren't in there for too long realistically. One of my family members has been institutionalized for 2 years. It's terrible that anyone has to suffer this fate.
Wtf’s the point of having to wear a hospital gown?? Lol
@Dr1ftsniper ...cleanliness? No risk of accidentally ruining the clothes and having to pay the patient for new ones? Ability to identify patients from family? Use your brain.
13:40 My brother called 911 to get an escort to a mental hospital when he was experiencing psychosis but when the cops got there they were put off by how friendly and "normal" he was and asked if he wanted to drive himself. He told them that was a bad idea because he couldn't trust himself not to crash the car. Thankfully they took his word on that and didn't make him drive. Emergency services really need better training in mental health.
As someone with schizophrenia, thank you so much for raising your voice for fellow neurodivergents who can't or don't have the courage to.
Much love to you, my friend. We will be okay!
Dude, you have a positive and likable personality. Keep up that positivity.
Thank you so much!
Agreed!
Hi there!
I'm 19, I was admitted to a mental facility when I was 11. My experience is very similar to yours in many ways, with the added bonus that I was a kid, and I stayed there for two whole months and I wasn't allowed to talk to my family at all for at least one month. I was admitted there because of behavioral issues (conduct disorder).
I was lonely. Most patients were at least 13, the oldest ones being 17, admitted there because of eating disorders and depression. We had to share rooms with, I believe 10 other people? And shower under supervision. It was pretty terrible. They didn't treat us kindly, and mostly we were bored, but I remember that after breakfast they would let us watch TV around the time Phineas and Ferb was on. That was the highlight of my day. Genuinely we had very little to do, there were three old books in a shelf we had to fight for every day, and board games were rarely allowed, he had to ask a nurse and she would allow it or deny it depending on a set of arbitrary criteria that was never shared with us.
I was also restrained, choked, and sexually assaulted by staff. I was eleven and very confused about everything that was happening. Every week a human rights supervisor would go to ask us questions but the older patients told me that speaking out could hurt my chances of getting out so we all kept quiet.
The other patients were the best part. I met a lot of interesting people, most of who happened to be a part of the lgbt community. Lesbians, trans men, etc, so that really made me become more accepting of my own sexuality and gender later on. Some of the girls were also pregnant and had to be kept under supervision and eat different meals because of that.
I actually found someone there who I was able to recognize, and who recognized me! At the time I did Taekowndo and turns out we had met before in a national tournament, which was wild. Sometimes I miss the people I met there, despite all the cruelty we were subjected to they were kind and we helped each other the best way we could.
Over all, do not recomend the experience. I recognize it saved my life, I mean, most kids don't attempt suicide by age 11 and yet there I was. I'm better now, sure, but I am not sure the part where they low-key tortured us was really necessary for the healing process?? I feel like we need to do activism or something to reduce the abuses some institutions get away with. Pretty sure I got some PTSD from that.
Either way, I hope you're doing better, man! Many hugs. Mental illness is a bitch (I suffer from dissociation) but life is worth it regardless. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Wow, your story hurt my heart. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I now realize after reading so many comments on this video that I got rather lucky with my hospital.
I'm glad you are still around, my friend. Much love to you.
@@KonchokTW I wish mental hospitals would be better man, they can be genuinely good for some people but a lot don't get the funding and regulations they need. I am always happy to exchange stories with other people who have had better experiences so I know things can change and be better in the future 🫂
@@lyxthen You are too kind. Your story really touched me! I sincerely wish you well.
not surprising you found paraphilic freaks in a psych ward and they influenced you to dive into that type of insanity with them
My experience there was nowhere as bad as yours but I was severely bullied by the staff and other patients, and being forced to stay in my room for a week without any interaction with anyone or be able to see the sun. But I’ve also come to the conclusion that there definitely needs to be some activism advocating for people locked up in these facilities, often against their will. I’m extremely sorry for everything you went through and you did NOT deserve that. It’s a sick world we live in but it’s worth it because we get to choose to change it. I’m 18 but I know that I want to devout the rest of my life to causes like this. So much injustice. I remember confronting the head of the facility I was in and when I made a list of human rights abuses that I observed when I was there, she pretty much just antagonized me while mental health interns and students observed me like a guinea pig and laughed at me despite how composed and professional I was trying to be. Never again.
the stuttering is so real, lol. ive had speech issues my whole life and stutter ALOT..i rlly get it lol. glad your doing much better now, well enough to speak about your experiences. I hope you're doing better now. and even though idk you, im really proud of you for being clean for THAT long. thats a really amazing milestone :).stay safe and have a great day/night :333!!!
I really appreciate this comment, thank you very much my friend. The stuttering really got to me in this video. I should have taken notice of it and took a break from recording, but oh well. I just prefer my videos to be my raw experiences with little editing, as I do not want to overexaggerate my case or make it seem more dramatic than it is. Thank you again!
@@KonchokTWu did great fella, takes some balls to bring out the vid like this.
@@KonchokTW I just wonder if you don't mind. Is the stutter something you did even before your mental problems or is it directly linked to your condition or medication you are using? Because it seems you stutter more when you talk about parts that make you uncomfortable. Either way as many people in comments already said. It takes some balls to tell a story like that. I wish you well, stay strong.
@@samueldubik4418 I have stuttered all my life. I have a diagnosis of "Childhood onset fluency disorder". However, I have been noticing it getting worse the longer I've been on this journey.
Stutterings are quite normal I have way worse stuttering than him:)
Don’t apologise for your stammer. I have a horrible stammer - it doesn’t affect my viewing experience. You got this :)
Edit since I’ve finished watching:
I’m appalled by your experiences. You should have been helped significantly sooner. And I mean actually helped, not half assed by your first visit. I’m proud of you for being a year clean! You’ve done amazingly well, things won’t be easy, but you’re doing fantastic. I’m proud of you :)
Thank you so much, you are too kind.
12:10 this genuinely scared me shitless because i'm schizophrenic and today my step dad bought a gun which has led me to having horrible, painful panic attacks. i have no idea if im right to be as afraid as i am or if im delusional. this video couldn't have been recommended at a better time, thanks for sharing. i might go to a hospital, even with the possible hardships.
I am so terribly sorry you are going through this. If you genuinely believe your life is in danger, then yes I would recommend hospitalization, at least until this episode of psychosis passes. I do not know your story with your step dad, but I relate with it. I had a bit of an episode when I found out my family purchased a gun, as I had a traumatic experience with firearms as a child and I jumped to conclusions and was very afraid myself. I sincerely wish you well. You got this.
@@KonchokTWthank you so much, i'm sorry you went through that too. that's pretty much the boat im in. this video helped me get grounded, i found it very insightful. i appreciate you sharing
when my dad bought a gun, I definitely was scared of it a lot but I trusted him to responsibly used it because he showed me how to responsibly use one.
has your dad taught you how to responsibly use it? if not, you should ask your dad, and I think having that validation in that he knows what he's doing with it might help quell some fears.
guns are scary in general, so I think this might not all be psychosis. you could be fueling the anxiety but other than that I think your fear is valid, but the source of the fear (being that your dad might use it on you, or accidentally use it on you) is an anxiety that's being perpetuated by inner thoughts of insecurity.
just like OP, I know nothing about your situation, but this is my advice on moving forward with your anxieties.
this is a little unrelated but. I have a terrible terrible stutter, like i got speech therapy in middle school and my speach therapist sobbed listening to me. And despite moving frequently to different schools I had never met anyone with a stutter, watching your video really made me realize im not alone in this. Im glad youre at your best today and I just hope it continues. This video genuinely almost made me cry. Big love also from the south!
I was in speech therapy from 3 years old up until 14 I believe! I'm glad I'm not alone, either. Much love!
It’s very sweet you let the spider live at the 19:30 minute mark
corner spiders are homies 🩵🩷🤍
This enrages me. I've had a similar experience with rural mental health care: They make it lonely and the beds are terrible, are quick to diagnose emotional dysregulation with bipolar, tend not to question self diagnosis, offer activities that have very little scientific value in terms of improving outcome (no CBT/DBT group therapy or the like), have no clue what complex trauma is, make admitting self more expensive with ER visit and ambulance ride, make the paranoid even more paranoid with fear of demeaning repercussions, overprescribe expensive medications like Abilify that make you nearly pass out just standing up. I've experienced ALL OF THAT. I considered it one notch above prison and a cash grab. No need to do proper treatment as long as the Medicaid/Medicare money breaks even and keeps flowing.
Likely diagnosis: Severe attachment issues and Complex PTSD. Emotional triggers severe enough can cause dissociation that even the memory of your own self defeating thoughts can become muddled...it feels like psychosis but it's not true psychosis (you're aware you're experiencing it). Schizophrenics are not aware (they break with reality and that's that). Antipsychotics won't help will dissociation and can make the zombification even worse. What you needed all along was somebody to care about you (put hand on and pray). What you needed is a hug and somebody to hear you out. Those patients did more than any staff member and I assume your community here is doing more as well.
i relate with having a hug. its all it is, touch.
hey dude i have Borderline Personality disorder. Maybe try to find a doctor that listens truly to what you say. I needed a long time to get the diagnosis and finally get DBT. But i can assure you that DBT saved my life. I don't think I would be still alive without it. I also experience visual hallucinations and paranoid thinking when my BPD gets out of hand (once it has been so bad I got misdiagnosed with psychosis). Maybe BPD fits you as well? CPTSD and BPD have a lot of overlap, and from what you wrote, it really sounds a lot like my experience. Also If you want to get into DBT you have to search for it yourself. Normal psych wards can never offer the treatment we need. Its more like a badge, its not fixing anything for people like us. I had to wait for half a year until i could begin DBT therapy bcs the waiting list was that long. Hope everything works out for you :)
Chronic dissociation sucks ass
Such an amazing and relatable story. I have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia, chronic anxiety disorder, BP1&2, ADHD, and High Functioning Autism. I used to be 3 forms of medical lingo depressed and self harming. You brought me back a lot of experiences i still need to heal from, but the fact you brought up the good bits brought back all the good it did do me. In a way you helped me come to terms with the mental hospitals in a more positive light. Also, man, the stuttering in this video was real! I admire your bravory to post not only your story but for who you are authenticly. Im so glad i got this on my front page!
Much love, my friend. I have too have an anxiety disorder, ADHD, and autism. Among other things. Thank you for the comment!
Disordermancy
bros fucked
bros brain must be a bunch of jelly
@@secho88 sounds yummy
Hello,
My experiences are quite similar, I'm 25, I had my first psychotic episode in 2020, shortly after covid lockdowns, and went into hospital for 11 days. My initial diagnosis was a psychotic episode, and I was put on anti-psychotics and antidepressants. The hospital was not bad. A lot of the things you described were the same. We were allowed to have our phones, though. We had to get them charged by the staff, and if they noticed you were using it too much, they might not give it back to you straight away.
After hospital, I started seeing a psychiatrist fairly regularly and was later diagnosed with schizophrenia in the same year. I guess I was a bit lucky with that.
About a year later, I ended up in hospital again for a while. I won't explain in detail here, but I came close to dying from a side effect of a new medication. This time, I was in hospital for much longer. I was released for about a week but ended up back in hospital again, as I couldn't adjust. I was moved to a different facility after a while, which was a bit like a halfway house. I remember spending Christmas and New Years there at the end of 2021, going into 2022.
Simce I left that place I've been slowly recovering. I was blessed with a great case manager and later a really good psychiatrist. I'm no longer on any medications since about 2 months and doing well.
I feel the happiest I've ever been and have felt this way for probably over a year. I do worry that I will regress into a delusional state again, but I'm confident that I would be able to get good help again.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so proud of you for staying strong and overcoming these hardships! I sincerely wish you well.
Hey, just remember that if you can feel this way right now (happy, positive, etc.), then you can reach that state once again, no matter what difficulties might come your way.
Hi, were you vaccinated for covid-19?
@@PinkBroBlueRope if you're attempting to correlate a link between a covid vaccine and psychosis, don't bother. The first vaccine weren't made publicly available until 2021, including the early ones for high-risk individuals and medical staff. The only side-effects of the vaccine are physical. Vaccines do not cause autism or any other mental health disorder.
@@PinkBroBlueRopeThis is a video about a schizophrenic sharing his story and none of those people are as insane as you
taking away your cellphone really depends on the mental hospital, sometimes they’ll let you have more stuff if your not suicidal. I’ve never been inpatient mental hospital, only just holding at a regular hospital. I respect you sharing your experience, also i haven’t watched minecraft content in a while but this video made me click as I was curious about your experience.
I was hospitalized for about a week just a few days ago. It kinda sucked, but it kept me alive, which is what I needed them to do.
Thanks for sharing this, man. I'm sure it wasn't easy.
Much love to you!
I've only been hospitalized once, in 2020. I don't have schizophrenia, but I have anxiety, depression, and autism. I attempted suicide and ended up in a coma for three days. Because I was a minor at the time, I was forced to be admitted. After I awoke from my coma in the regular hospital, they transported me by ambulance to a mental hospital in a different city. It sucked and didn't really help honestly. I was there for eight days and cried for 6 hours straight my first night there. My mattress was made out of plastic, my hair was greasy because they didn't give me enough shampoo, and I was forced to be a roomate to someone who kept trying to make unwanted romantic advances towards me. She was later moved, thankfully, because she lied about having COVID and was forced to be isolated even though she didn't have it (the nurses wanted to teach her a lesson). We had our own bathrooms in our rooms, but you had to share a bathroom if you had a roomate. Every morning I woke up to my blood being taken, they didn't even wake me up first so I just woke up with a needle in my arm. The food was awful and one day it was so bad that one of the nurses took pity on us and ordered pizza for the entire unit. She was one of the only things I liked about the place. One of the other nurses was awful, she told us that the only reason we were mentally ill was because we were possessed by demons and that we had to ask God to forgive us. I know she's religious, but she's a healthcare provider and shouldn't try to force her beliefs on us by scaring us into thinking we were demonic or something. The activities were okay, I participated in everything because I wanted to get out of there ASAP. Everyone could make a 10 minute phone call to their parents once a day. I missed my mom and my bed. There was a girl in my unit who kept having blackouts and tried to kill everyone, she had to be booty juiced a lot. I had a lot of panic attacks because of her banging noises and violent behavior. After I left, I didn't get better, but I never seriously attempted again because I was afraid to go back to the hospital.
That sounds terrible. I am so sorry you had to go through that :( I am here for you!
@@KonchokTW Thank you, and thank you for sharing your experience as well. Honestly, it was bad but it could've been a lot worse. And it was four years ago. I do think I'm better mentally now then I was then, even though the mental hospital made me feel worse for a while. I'm grateful that there are at least some people who've had good experiences in mental hospitals, because that means that there has been effort put into making them better than what they used to be.
abuse is wayy too common in psych wards. I have heard that sentiment of not seriously attempting due to fear of being institutionalized time and time again. mental hospitals can be and frequently are hell on earth.
@@timh2859 they CONSTANTLY laugh at patients due to thier god complexes!
I clicked on this video because the title and the thumbnail confused me but this was actually very informative; I'm glad you decided to share this very personal story to help educate and demystify people on this taboo subject!
really glad this came to my recommended front page. i just got out of a mental hospital for psychotic depression because of my bipolar. i was hearing voices forcing me to hurt myself, i was delusional and genuinely believed the staff of a certain discord server i was banned from were gangstalking me. i was admitted because i had a plan to jump off a building (because of the voices telling me that) and the experience was okay. i cried a lot too because i missed my family and wanted to go home. i stayed there for 3 weeks. it was rough, but got the help i needed by changing my medication to antipsychotics, antidepressants. i can relate to your story and im proud how much you overcame your struggles. rooting for you!
I'm very proud of you for reaching out and getting help! Thank you for the kind words. We got this.
I've heard so many bad stories about mental facilities...
Back in 2020 I developed severe depression and almost k*lled myself.
In 2022 I developed severe anxiety and cut myself.
But I am a stubborn person and I found my own ways to cure my own problems with the help of my mom.
Never got diagnosed, never took meds, never went to mental. I just learned how to meditate and control my emotions really well, as well as changing my lifestyle and mindset.
Sometimes I still get waves of stress, anxiety, or depression but now I can handle it really well.
I'm glad things have gotten better for you and I hope they continue to get better!
I also relate to your autism and stuttering. But no need to apologize! It's just a part of who you are :)
I wish you well with your own troubles, my friend!
Thank you so much for posting this. I know I need to be hospitalized, as I am becoming a danger to myself and becoming very paranoid, but with the horror stories of how mentally ill people were treated in Asylums pre-2000s have me so so scared to go, even if I know most mental health wards are very much not like this now.
You have seriously given me a boost to start seriously considering it, not just for my family who I love, but for myself.
You are an amazing and beautiful soul. I wish the best for you and every happiness!
I sincerely and wholeheartedly wish you well, my friend. I do believe it would be good for you. Though, every hospital is different. I do hope yours will treat you fairly. Just be completely transparent with everyone and get the help you need! I am proud of you.
If you have not already done so, I implore you to look into your local mental hospital. It's nice to hear that some people have good experiences with them, but many do not. I have friends who were traumatized by being admitted to them, and as some people in the comments have stated, they are rife with abuse.
@SeptisHighborn yeah, im really looking to avoid any new trauma ahah! i have a therapist who has recommended me a place that she herself has stayed at and tells me is really good. so hopefully if i crash again I have that to fall back onto.
The ending is actually so real bro the realistic outlook but looking at it in a positive light. Hope nothing but the best for ur future 🖤
I've also been in a crisis at the ER before, too. It's incredibly demeaning the first time. It's about time we talk about these experiences, whether negative or positive. Healthcare is a little bit stretched at this point in time, and I feel like it'll get better if we get more professionals and other care improvements. As somebody who not only has been through crisis, but is also entering the mental healthcare field, your experience was incredibly insightful...you're incredibly brave for speaking about your experience, especially with something so vulnerable. Best of luck, take care on your path to healing
Thank you so much for this! I recently applied for a position at a mental hospital, as I am already a caregiver for people in my family who have similar challenges and was excited about the chance to possibly help some more people through rough patches as well. Whatever the results of that interview, I will carry your experiences with getting help in my heart to give me a better perspective on what the person across from me is experiencing.
I respect your career choice! The only thing I wish for you, is that you treat the patients like any other "normal" person. Sadly, I was often treated like a child as if I was low functioning. Some of the nurses definitely looked down on some of the patients which is sad. But you seem like a good person! I sincerely wish you well.
@@KonchokTW Oh my gosh, thank you so much! And thank you for the additional insight, that's a valuable bit of advice to keep in back of my mind to check against since I am most used to caring for children. Important not to slip into a one-size-fits-all "mental groove" for everyone and foremost respect who they are as individuals!
if you atualy try to help, they will fire. i seen several testimonies of CURED scitzofranic peaople who once they sied the enitys are NOT "just in there head" like the hospital drills into them and they are NOT THEIR THOUGHTS, and they are archonic or denmonic enitys, all suddenly if they belive that tuly the "voices" stop and they are cured, they fired a nurse for teaching that truth and curing some, there is no money in healthy peaople.
not as a child, but i felt like i was being thought of as an animal by the staff, they laughed at me during an episode. just please treat your patients as human beings and even if it gets annoying be patient and try to understand them 💜
@@megumin1582 I'm so sorry you had to go through that! You did not deserve such treatment. I hope you are doing better now!
I spent most of my time crying when I was hospitalized too :/ we had card games too. the food was terrible. at night they came in like every 30 minutes and it was super annoying and not fun. it was super traumatizing for me
I am so sorry you had to go through that. I remember nights were terrible. The beds were so bad and the pillows were as thin as paper. Due to me self harming as stated in the video, people would come check on me every 15 minutes and open my door and let light through, which kept me awake all night. I was such a zombie from the combination of the insane dose of medications and the lack of sleep. I feel for you!
bro hearing your voice makes me incredibly happy for no reason whatsoever, you seem like such a kind and genuine person. im rooting for you!!!
You are too sweet ;_; thank you.
Ive been diagnosed schizoaffective disorder since 2018, and ive been to 2 mental hospitals since. I relate a bit to your story, although quite different from mine, but my awareness of my illness plus the expectations put on myself and from the people around me, mainly before they knew of my illness, has made me feel like i should be able already to be a better person and im contantly compairing myself to who i think i should be. Your compassion for yourself and others has inspired me, and i hope i can one day be more compassionate of myself as well.
not a schizophrenic but they tried to diagnose me with it, turns out i was sleep deprived due to being in a strange place (psych ward) and scared due to witnessing an unaliving outside my house and was diagnosed with ptsd instead when i got admitted to a different ward, getting a second opinion. im glad that they were able to actually help you! they're good when they work and bad when they just dont.
seeing you talk about your issues with your mental health combined with minecraft MY FAV GAME EVER healed something in me. so thank you so much and congratulations on your recovery man.
It feels like you are directly talking to the viewer. That gives the video a more personal feel.
Being on the path of recovery, having insight to your problems, looking back and forward is such a priceless experience that I think everyone deserves to experience
Thank you for the kind words.
thanks for sharing your experiences and i hope you're feeling well :) i graduated with a psych degree but i'm not in the field of mental health now. Hearing your perspective was super insightful because it's so much more tangible than having to memorize diagnostic criteria for an exam.. Listening to stories like yours is what got me interested in studying the brain in the first place a couple years back and now i'm in grad school for neuroscience, so again: thanks!
This is such a lovely comment, thank you very much.
Thank you for sharing your story! Usually the first time in a mental hospital is the toughest, and we're not always ready for the help we know we need. I've been in Midwestern mental hospitals in around 2017-2019, but I always felt like everyone saw them much worse than they really are. I was very shy back then so I usually struggled to make friends, but people always were willing to pull me into their groups and stuff. We did get our own ROOMS tho... That's sweet👀 we always had to share with someone else
P.S. super proud of you for the sobriety!! 💜
Thank you for the kind words! I'm proud of you for reaching out and receiving help all those years ago!
You deserve huge props for the bravery it takes to lay out all this stuff to the public. I have the tiniest fraction of a fraction of your experience with mental health related hardships, but I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable sharing something so personal and heavy online. I'm happy to see someone stay strong and keep playing the cards they were dealt in life well. We all need such examples perhaps now more than ever.
It's pleasant to hear life experiences from someone that lives it so differently, great video!
I hope I don't sound insincere or mean spirited when I say this, but I really like listening to you talk. You have a nice speaking voice and the way you describe these events, even as traumatic as they were to you, is easy to follow and understand your feelings and actions at that time.
I personally had to go to two mental hospitals in my lifetime and even though it wasn't due to the same mental problems you had, my experiences are VERY similar haha. The first time was a true nightmare for me and I didn't stay long as it was very scary and traumatic for me. The second time was much better and helpful and since then my life has improved a lot. I did have a somewhat hard time after the second visit, but I found a therapist who was absolutely perfect for me and I love them very much. They changed my life so drastically, that it's still kind of mind boggling to me how fast my life improved thanks to them.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, it helps to hear that you're not the only one struggling with mental health.
Thank you so much for the kind words. I was reading off of a script in this video, I used to be able to wing it and just ramble for my commentaries but as I've gone along on this journey I've found it hard to process my thoughts and turn them into words due to the mess of a salad in my brain. I'm glad I was able to say what I wanted to say in this video.
Also, I am so proud of you for reaching out and getting help, and staying strong! You got this, my friend.
It is really brave of you to talk about this, i have myself been in the mental hospital 3 times because of a very rough depression. It is very helpful hearing other People talkin about their experiences❤
Really great video. I work in a psychiatric hospital and it was interesting to learn about what an admission is like from your perspective. It was also cool to see the similarities and differences between your hospital policy and mine. I'm glad you're doing better and remember that after you've left the hospital we staff are still rooting for you.
Not sure how but I stumbled upon this video on my feed and chose to listen. I think it's very brave of you to share this story. It must be very nerve wracking. I don't suffer from schizophrenia or bipolar myself but I do appreciate hearing from someone that does so candidly because I never know when I could have a friend or relative deal with this. I wish you the best going forward.
You are a very very good storyteller, better than many I've scene on RUclips. You construct your sentences to flow really pleasantly despite how hard this video must have been to made.
I've struggled with bipolar type symptoms from severe ADHD and years on years of trauma, and I relate with a lot of what you say here despite the difference in our conditions. The bursting out crying while at the doctor's appointment really hit me, as the same thing happened when I looked for help. Really really big respect for finding within yourself to make this video and the other videos on your channel, will be subscribing
Thank you, my friend. I wish you well with your own troubles! I was finally diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago myself.
You are such a beautiful human, I can just tell from the way you talk. Love you, stranger, and I hope you live a long and happy life!
Thank you so very much. You are so kind! Much love.
I might be trippin but it really looked like you stuttered the most in moments where you talked about traumatic experiences. Hope you are doing great my friend. God bless you an your family
the amount you forget is insane during psychosis, it's similar to the amount of details you forget when in a physical fight, at least for me
thanks for sharing!
I really appreciate you making this video. It’s helpful to hear to other people’s experiences.
Thank you for being so open about this. I stayed in a few hospitals for attempting and the schizophrenic kids were always the sweetest, even when they were scared
I sincerely hope you are doing well nowadays, my friend. Thank you for the comment.
As someone else on the rocky road of recovery from psychosis, this video was so wonderful. Hearing you describe experiences so similar to mine made me feel less alone, and your voice and personality is so comforting to listen to. Thank you 🥹❤️
Thank YOU! Stay strong, my friend!
Your video popped up in my recommendations. I have a distant cousin who's suffering from some sort of psychosis and his family isn't handling him well. He's not getting the help he needs and I don't have any power to help but idk what could be done. Thank you for sharing your story and spreading awareness
Much respect. Wishing you love and care with your condition.
Much love to you!
i wish i was as brave as you making a video like this i don't have schizophrenia at the level you have but i do have it a little and i also have autism and also a Buddhist i'm glad i watched this video i'm sorry you went through that mental health issues suck i have horrible anxiety so i know how bad it can get at times and i hope your life continues to get better
Thank you so much for this comment, my friend. Namo buddhaya.
Thanks for sharing this. Im really proud of you man, and I give you the biggest hug I can.
I spent a couple weeks in a psych ward for the first time earlier this year. Patients on a psych ward can be some of the realest people. When you're there, everyone is near rock bottom, so no one has anything to hide. I found my interactions with other patients to be very genuine. We were all going through it in one form or another.
Anyways, much love man, and once again thank you for sharing ❤
Much love to you!
glad u were able to get help man and wish everyone best of luck going through this
As a future psychologist, this is very educational. Thank you for your contribution as an individual!
Thank you very much for sharing this, man. I have schizophrenia as well, diagnosed since 2018. I've been to the psych ward twice, yet I wasn't admitted either time. They didn't see an urgent need for it since I wasn't a threat to myself or others, I was seeking psychiatric help on my own initiative, and when they said "we can admit you if you want but you don't have to," both times I opted simply to go home.
Funny thing is, the second time I went, there was this chair beside the intake desk at the ER. I told them about my symptoms and they asked me to take a seat when they were done, then asked me to come back and sit in that chair because they didn't want me to be too far away from them. I guess they were scared I was going to have second thoughts and run away lol. That time, I brought a backpack full of random stuff like clothes and my Kindle that I thought I would need. Among my possessions was a Bible, and fortunately they let me read it in the "waiting room" where they put all the psych ward aspirants. Another guy and I read the Psalms together; in that room, the TV above my head playing movies I could hear but couldn't see, fearful of my future, not knowing if I would still be sane enough to be a Christian by the end of the week, the songs of David gave me great comfort. Psalms 6 and 30 in particular are my favorite.
I know you said you're certain you'll relapse, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that you won't. You've grown so much since the start of your journey and you're clearly a kind soul. Hold onto reality as tight as you can, for as long as you can. It's tough with this illness, but I believe in you.
Thank you so much for this comment. Your words truly touches me. I wish you well with your journey as well, my friend. It's so lovely how religion can help humans out, despite us sharing many different thoughts and beliefs.
You are so real for posting this and speaking so openly about your experiences! I've been through 4 psychotic episodes in the past 10 years, 2 of which got me in the hospital. I remember almost nothing from my visits but the people I met in there.
I think about the laughs and kind moments I shared with others at the lowest point in their lives all the time. I'll carry their words of wisdom with me, as jumbled as they might be, for the rest of my life. Much love to you, and I hope your recovery continues to go well.
Much love!
thank you for being so open with this, i can relate to almost everything you were talking about. i have bipolar i, anxiety, and bpd, and have been admitted 3 times, all attempts, the last one was very serious. the first hospitalization was the worst, they misdiagnosed me with depression and put me on ssris which sparked a bad manic episode down the line. you're so right when you say the people there are the nicest people you'll ever meet. i feel like the patients there with me actually cared, and helped me open up in group therapy which helped walk me down from my manic episodes that landed me in the hospital in the first place.
thank you for sharing your experiences man. no one talks about this stuff, even though its one of the most important topics nowadays. we have so many people struggling with mental health and we tend to ignore, make fun of, or infantilize their issues, which does nothing. but sharing your story i think helps a lot (also congrats on a year clean! im hitting that in a couple weeks)
I'm so proud of you for staying clean! I believe in you, my friend.
dude,
the part where you stumbled over your words so genuinely as you tried to remember that traumatic experience with your old bully, damn i was crying.
you're a real G for making it out
Oh, I apologize. The goal of this video was not to make people feel sorry for me. I just wanted to share what my experiences were in mental hospitals since the only ideas people get about them are from movies and television shows.
I appreciate the kind words, though. Much love.
@@KonchokTW nah nah i mean, in a beautiful way it touched me dude i didn't mean no disrespect haha. i'd say you did that and much more, it was inspiring.
@@burritowyrm6530 Thank you so much.
Really makes you think, people can feel and think this way because of a disease, i'm to privileged to even notice at times to know how much people like you have to deal with. My heart goes out to you, man, i know a bit more about schizophrenia now than before this video. Thank you for that, and hopefully, you don't relapse any time soon.
On an unrelated note, I recommend listening to some NSDR videos to calm down. It helped me at my worst, so maybe it will help you as well :)
(NSDR andrew huberman, it should be a 10 minute long video from virtusan)
Hope this helped in any sort of way and good night.
Thanks for sharing, me son. I do not have schizophrenia, but I do have major OCD. As you know, that disorder is a freaking mess, to put it lightly. Nothing but an endless roller-coaster loop of obsessions and compulsions with your brain believing something will change if you do or think something for the five millionth time. I have never been to a mental hospital or psych ward, but I have had two significantly long therapy sessions spanning almost a year with each. That, along with medicine and mental tools, has drastically helped me because if I had not sought help and been a part of the second prolonged therapy timelapse, there was a good chance I would have ended it. Once again, thank you for sharing, and I am happy to hear you became better through your decision to seek help.
Thanks for speaking up on this topic. I really respect your courage to tell all these stuff and post them online. There are some mean comments here, and they suck. I learned a lot and gained a lot more confidence from this video, and I hope everything goes well for you my friend.
Thank you for your kind words! Much love.
Thank you for sharing your story, for all the bad things the internet can bring, its kinda beautiful that we have technology for anyone to be able to share their stories with the world. ❤
thank you for sharing, man, this takes so much bravery that doesn't go unseen. amazing job painting the scope and narrative, my heart goes out to you, yo
"I believed (any person) is/was a start/reason of my (any current state I don't like)" So relatable 😒
You are a trooper. Thanks so much for making this video, it really helped me feel less alone.
Thank you so much for the kind words.
oh man this vid genuinely made me tear up. I’ve had a real rough time this year but hearing you talk about your story really inspires me. I’ve been just questioning why I’m going though through the things I’m going through but in a way your story helps me realize I’m not alone at all in my suffering. That to be human is to at least live through all goods and bads. I wish you a happy happy life.
Much love to you. I wish you well with your own troubles, my friend.
Awesome video, I don't have psychosis myself but I've got autism like you and Ive got a lot of overlapping symptoms.
I will agree mental health wards are dehumanizing and not as effective as they could but the silver lining is at least they work for their function of diagnosing stuff medication and though I live in Canada it might be different for you.
Intereting story; one of my friends had a psychotic break from smoking weed that was laced with PCP according to the toxicology report, and his symptoms were extremely similar to yours. Eventually, we called his dad home from work and he was admitted because he was having almost identical paranoid symptoms though he was about to die from lung cancer rather than your reason. Just kinda reminded me of that whole event.
Glad you're good now because this is great for anyone curious about mental health stuff, you're really well-spoken and since you're willing to talk about your experience it's a lot more interesting and informative than most other videos on this topic by any bigger channels.
Thank you for sharing your story 🖤🖤
I've had similar things, but with depression and suicide and OCD. I never went to a mental hospital.
But this last year in December 2023 - about May 2024, I had such terrible anxiety I genuinely thought i was going to die. It stems from my OCD with being obsessed with death, I had such terrible anxiety from stress.
Its not the first time since my entire childhood i was put into stressful and abusive households, and when I was younger my entire childhood i couldn't stop the intrusive thoughts, i genuinely believed i was a terrible person due to my intrusive thoughts. I became even more suicidal and depressed. My compulsions to count literally took over my life for literally 12 hours minimum every day of my life.
I was diagnosed with CPTSD by my therapist when I was around 13 years old
Thank YOU for sharing your story! I really wish you well. You got this!
@@KonchokTW tysm, i really appreciate it. I hope you continue doing well on your journey with schizophrenia, it can be hard sometimes but you can do it.🖤
I am happy to see someone discuss the feelings of paranoia especially when it gets bad this kind of extent. I can't discuss my own extreme paranoia (something very very similar happened to me - I had a falling out with internet friends and lived in constant fear for a couple years that, no matter where I went, they would find me and kill me or ruin my life) because I am scared that people will then try to enact those kinds of things against me... it's a stupid and irrational fear, but I have to live with it every single day and I don't talk to anyone about it at all. I understand that most other people who experience paranoia (esp on a schizophrenic level) don't want to talk about it publicly for the same reasons, which only makes us feel more isolated and lonely and like these fears must either be real and logical or completely in our heads rather than something other people experience . Thank you for being brave
(Also maybe a question : do you have to have literal visual/auditory hallucinations to be schizophrenic, or can it also just entail delusions? I have considered the idea that I have PPD, but I'm never really sure. And all of these symptoms overlap so much, I really don't like psychiatry much.)
Thank you for the comment.
I will copy this from the DSM-5 detailing the "requirements" for a schizophrenia diagnosis:
"Two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated).
At least one of these must be delusions, hallucinations or disorganized speech:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence)
Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior
Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition)"
So no, you do not need to suffer from hallucinations to be schizophrenic.
Though, it should be noted that just because you (or anyone else reading this) may have some of the symptoms I just listed, it doesn't necessarily mean you have schizophrenia. There are many paranoia/psychosis related illnesses. I recommend reaching out to a psychologist if you are curious instead of self-diagnosing.
I sincerely wish you well with your troubles, my friend.
I wasn't ever admitted to a mental hospital, but I was kind of close to getting into one. I had a suicide attempt, but they made me say I was just doing it to scare my parents, I was 13 at the time, I think. I'm so glad I didn't get into a mental hospital, they're awful here in Russia.
Thank you for sharing your experience, you're really brave for doing that!! I'm so glad you're better now. I hope you won't ever again be at the point where you need to get admitted to a mental hospital.
I hope you are doing well nowadays, my friend!
Thank you for this cause I've been admitted 4 times in total and I'm only 18. They chemically restrained me, and I'm honestly just running away from the system, yk? Like I don't want to let them trap me, I don't talk to no one about anything. I don't want to put myself in a position where they can hurt me again, even if it means I tweak out- I'll just fucking lock myself in a room, I'll never go back, they'll have to chemically restrain me again and just fuck me up. Whatever.
thank you for telling us your experience :) I was admitted once in 2020 for suicidal ideation. It’s been tough but I think I’m slowly getting better. I’m wishing the best to you man, you’re so brave for talking about this so openly.
Im impressed with how good you are at describing the experience.
Personally i would be feel better with ever seeking help because of how much i know about it now
i have schytzophrenia and its hard, my first episode was in 6th grade and i related to this a lot im happy you are able to tell this story without treating schytzophrenia like q conversation starter or a scary story
Hey, thanks for making a video like this.
While not a schizophrenic, my clinical depression turned into psycotic depression during highschool while also being hospitalized during that time. Even though we're different i find this very comforting because I'm shy and too afraid to talk about something like this, speaking of which you are incredibly brave for doing something like this and actually going through it uploading it.
Don't worry about the stuttering, i stutter too sometimes, which i can totally get how annoying it can be. I'm also autistic so the way i speak might be weird haha, anyways keep it up and keep taking care of yourself man. Mental illness and trauma is a very rough battle to deal with (and you're strong for being here).
Thank you for the kind words! I sincerely wish you well with your troubles as well, friend.
I've never been admitted so this was very interesting to hear, continue talking about your experiences !
I really appreciate the representation, i feel like stuff like this is kinda just left behind closed doors and not talked about much. Definitely scares me to even consider getting mental help when mental institutions don't have staff checks to make sure they are not abusing patients. But i guess not many are even willing to take on these jobs these days anyway. I hope you are doing well ❤
I believe I got lucky while I was locked up. Due to me self harming one night I was in there, they very well could have chosen to tie me up and restrain me to my bed. That would have been terrible. The fear of that happening helped me stop self harming oddly enough haha.
I've never been in a psych ward but I used to work in the mental health field, my degree is in psychology. I like hearing these stories "from the other side". Its very educational.
Very cool and informative video! Glad you took time to talk about your experience and upload a video of it for others to see. I wish you many many clean years to come and when worst come to worse that you'll handle it and get back on track! Best wishes and good luck!
You are very brave for sharing your story! You should be proud of how far you have come. I too have been to a psych ward, but that was when I was 14. I hope you feel better! and I am here for you if you need me to be.
Thank you so very much!
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's incredibly important for mental health awareness to reach a wide audience, because so many people don't realize they need help, or convince themselves not to seek it. I've struggled with depression since I was 13, being diagnosed at 14. I very nearly did not make it to adulthood, but I've been lucky to have the motivation to seek help, and I've had a few good friends in my life that were able to help me through some of my worst episodes. I urge anyone who feels like something is wrong to seek help. Therapists are hit and miss, but keep looking until you find the right understanding person to get you through your lowest.
This. I've been in therapy since I was 3 years old, and it took me until I was 23 to find the perfect one for me. It's kind of sad it took that long, but I am happy now, and that is all that matters. I am proud of you for staying strong! You got this.
what an absolute king for talking about this, takes a lot of strength. i'm an atheist, and still the idea of some christian people praying for a buddhist is so incredibly heartwarming. glad you are doing fine now and hope it stays like this, greetings from Chile
really relate to getting set off by algorithms online. theyre trying to be helpful and recommend things i want, but if im in a bad space i will think someone is trying to kill me.
I am honestly happy for you, I am praying for your health, I also stutter a lot, dont let it get to you.
This is such an important topic! Thanks for talking about it as someone who have been in one myself. Thank you❤
I was in psychosis early 2023. I was locked in after threatening my mother with suicide and murder, and was sent to a room. My doctor gave me a medicine named abilify which made me incredibly suicidal and depressed, and when I asked him to remove it he said ”You don’t have the power..” Had it for 7 months. The first time I was locked in was 2 weeks then I was locked in for a month in March. I tried to deceive the doctors, so I was released early but locked again. I understand you perceive the mental hospital can be good, but from my perspective I would rather have psychosis than receive help since the help was worse.
I went to horsham. The kids were awful, people had seizures right in front of me several times, the entire place was dirty and had nicotine patches everywhere, the food was so bad that me, my roommate and a few others got food poisoning AND A STAFF MEMBER ACCUSED US OF FAKING IT AND HAVING BULIMIA despite the fact i threw up right in front of her and even showed her that my hands were dry, my stuffed animal was locked inside a closet but another girl got to keep hers, etc.
I’m so happy that you have began recovering, and congrats on your 1+ year clean!
This channel is great. Please include flash warnings before clips like the reenacted footage of Dale.
I'm in the process of becoming a psychologist even as I struggle with my own mental and physical health problems. Part of the reason I'm working so hard is because of the shitty treatment I've received in the past, the people that were supposed to help but didn't. The other part is because I remember the relief that came when I did recieve the help I needed. I try and listen to as many personal stories as I can, like yours, just so I can remember what it's like being on the other side. But I've also... really struggled this year and knowing there are other people like me, fighting as hard as I am, helps. We deserve peace and happiness. Thank you for making this video.
I believe in you, my friend.
I love you, I dont see fellow schizophrenics get a happy ending
Hi there, you just popped up in my suggested and I’m really glad you did. I don’t have schizophrenia as far as I know-but I do have some other stuff, mainly persistent depressive disorder, PTSD (which tbh I think I have C-PTSD specifically but that’s as far as I’ve gotten with that diagnosis), anxiety, and I’m trying to get tested for ADHD.
I haven’t been a full on in patient at a hospital before, but I did this program called “partial hospitalization” where I basically went to the hospital everyday for ten days for intensive group therapy as if I were an in patient only I got to go home at the end of the day.
It was really scary to go but I’m really glad I went….it helped a lot and I even made some friends…I really resonated with a lot of the stuff you talked about. Everyone there, all the patients, were the nicest people I’ve met. Ranging from my age (23 at the time) to a woman in her late 80s. We all got really close over those ten days. Talking about our issues together really helped…I’m thinking I might even go back again if things get scary again for me, because I know they can help me.
Thank you for talking about mental health stuff. It’s really important and not enough people advocate for it.
This is an amazing video. Thank you. I'm 18 and have always wanted to become a psychologist, and having you talk about your experiences with a mental hospital while playing minecraft is peak content. It's a very nice comfort game to get your mind off of things. I'm very glad you don't apologize for your stuttering. It's not even remotely bothersome, and very understandable. I'd be so nervous talking about anything even remotely this personal.
thank you for this. ive been having trouble since a few months ago i started having psychotic thoughts. thankfully i think im getting better though im not in medication yet. but hearing your story really helped me realize i will be okay
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, friend.
Hi there, thank you for posting this awesome video. It's lovely to hear that you gain your happieness and self confidence. I don't usually post comments under videos but, your story is truelly inspiring and positive at the end. as a stranger on the internet, I wish you well. Take care
Thank you so much, my friend.
I’m so happy you’re alive! Your story is a beautiful and inspiring one that’ll reassure and help many I’m sure! So thank you for sharing
It’s unnerving how similar this was to my own experience at a mental hospital. I guess they have the same routines for each hospital. I remember my hospital had a bit less in it (no sofas or vending machines) but everything else was basically the exact same. I spent my 7 days playing solitaire by myself or playing kings in the corner with the one other friend I had. I remember looking at the high walls outside in the little courtyard and wondering if I could somehow jump the wall. I never want to go back, and it’s why I never told my counselors about my mental health again. (They we’re the ones who sent me originally). The only fun part I can remember is being in the ambulance at like 3:00 AM because it was like a roller coaster.
I will never forget that ambulance ride. The feeling of being literally tied down to a stretcher and wheeled into the back of one is just so haunting. I hope you are doing okay nowadays, my friend.
I've been twice for OCD/autism/depression and I had a really pleasant experience.
thank you for sharing your story❤️ this is sure to inspire other people to reach out. i watched this video twice!! you are a very likeable guy and im sorry you had to go through all this. i don't even know you but im genuinely so so proud of your strength and endurance. i wish you the best❤️
Thank you so very much for the kind words!