S2 I don't feel sorry for the brother, yeah he's 14 he's not 7. Who betrays a sibling like that? In Text also... Making a joke out of it. It's more than counseling he needs. She's the victim, once she's moved out they can focus on the son. Right now I'm so damn angry that he has no pity or understanding for his sister. I also sense the mother is more worried about her poor little boy. You already see she's ready to push the daughter to work it out. Sounds like the son doesn't necessarily got more punishment than grounding and lack of electronics. This is no mistake, I hate OP keeps repeating this. Tone deaf parent. The parents are definitely on the side of the son, poor daughter. I can only advise her to go low contact with her family.
I think the same. There are quite a few people in the comments saying "but he is only 14." Yes. Old enough to know better. And think that the daughter is wrong for treating the parents this way and that the daughter is harming their relationship. Like... The daughter is not harming the relationship, she was the one who was harmed. I feel no sympathy for the son, I doubt he would be sorry if sister didn't cut him out. And shame on OP. This wasn't a mistake. She was siding with the son. The daughter is the one who needed support from her parents, badly. So yes she is hurt seeing he is being let off easily and her mom refuses to understand how her daughter is feeling. OP is just feeling sorry for herself and is trying to get us to agree she isn't being treated fairly.
@@eileenhatton5240 yeah this whole situation had that whole "golden child" feeling about it. I just don't think the daughter would go this hard if it wasn't also history behind everything. Something just feels off and OP doesn't feel like a reliable narrator.
I can't believe the parents are trying to downplay what the brother did. It wasn't a mistake, it was a conscious decision to betray his sister. They need to open their eyes and see the real damage he's caused.
Story 2: son revictimized her. She is going through a second assault. I don't think OP understands the damage the son has done to her. And I don't think OP understands that what he did wasn't just horrible, but life changing. She cannot be herself around others who know anymore Accept it, OP. She might get over it eventually, but forcing her won't do shit.
Yeah, despite being “understanding” the mom seems a lot more willing to blame the daughter for being upset over having her trauma exposed as a joke than to accept that the son needs to face the consequences for knowingly doing something horrible to her.
@japes2398 yeah this is why I kind of think that story 2 is essentially the "psychopath golden child" but from the oblivious or irresponsible parent perspective.
I was assulted when I was 16 by a family friends grandson. I chose to not tell my father because it would ruin a 60 year long relationship with my uncle and his best friend. When I was 18 I broke down and told my mother crying. I begged her to never EVER tell my father. Two weeks later my mom got mad at me and told my father so she could win an argument her and I were having. She is lucky I still talk to her, but I don't tell her secrets anymore. To that point the son knew he was forbiden from talking about your daughters assult. Your son will likely never be forgiven, rightly so. She was assulted as a kid, and your son weaponized and violated her again to get edgelord points with his friends. Get used to having morning and evening holidays. One kid, has morning one has evening. They do not mix, and they do not mingle.
I'm sry bout the S/A but how tf did ur mother think that would hive her winning points also I agree with that until the son turns 18 and move out she might never her again
Oh my. What an absolute betrayal. How does she think permanently damaging your trust is worth it if itmeans she thinks she will "win" an argument... against her child..
Story 2: I was in this situation but from the daughter's POV, and my choice was to permanently estrange that sibling. He had no respect for what had happened to me and couldn't even keep his story straight. He told people I lied, he told them everything that happened to me. Don't force her. He had absolutely no right sharing anything without her consent. It's been 13 months no contact with him since he moved out and I'm not forgiving him anytime soon. There's been other things but this was a huge factor for me especially because it affected the court case I had
if you don't mind me asking, regarding that sibling was that his first "offense"? I intend no disrespect, nor asking details. I am just curious if it was that specific thing by itself or if that was not only itself horrific but the cherry on top of a crap sundae of bad behavior pulled by said sibling? ETA: oops, I just reread you said "there's been other things..." I have written before that I personally feel OP from story 2 is sanitizing the situation for her own benefit. Either she doesn't want to look bad or she is trying to convince herself that things weren't as bad as they were. Then this all blows up and she seems to be wondering why, when it's likely the daughter has been dealing with a lot from this sibling for a while now.
@@chickensandwich8808 Absolutely! OP might be minimizing internally what had happened to her child in order to cope, however it could also be other stuff that was not seen or heard by her. and to address the other piece yes there was a whole laundry list of things including stealing ~1k and vandalism as far as i was aware. also i did not see it as disrespect and you are absolutely chilling my dude
"We bullied a girl, but it's okay because everyone else thought it was funny! It's okay, though, because we're HR." Yoooo...tf she say? Really?! Seriously? Sensitivity training! Mandatory retraining of EVERYONE!
After the OP elaborated that the victim was a different race, it kinda immediately clicked that "Ohh this is an office of sexist and racist old white men isn't it?" So yeah unfortunately OP probably couldn't do much, so them looking for a new job is probably their best bet.
I just HATE when people talk about sexuality being a "choice". Who the fuck wants to CHOOSE the risk of getting invalidated, mocked, harrased, assaulted, and/or killed just because of your identity, which doesn't hurt anyone else btw? Also most straight people seem to know who they're attracted to since they were children.. So let's just assume that Queer people know aswell or at least are aware of that they're different in some way, smh...
You know even it was a choice, is someone not allowed to make one that is different and not mainstream? My mom is homophobic and I'm bi... So officially I'm straight because I recognize how useless it is to come out to my Baby boomer mom. Thankfully I live far enough away from her.
I feel like continuing to talk about it as a "choice" is the key to OP's ongoing issue with her daughter here. Disagreeing with a choice? Sure, fine. Disagreeing (i.e. not approving of/respecting) with an important part of who you're child is? Much bigger issue. If OP could it was willing to see that is not a choice, it's a part of the person, maybe she could actually move towards fixing things. Instead, she's settled on "hate the sin, love the sinner" which is such utter bulls***.
Homophobic mom story: sexual orientation isn't a choice, and the "hate the sin, love the sinner," "I love and support you, I just don't agree with your choice (that you didn't choose and is actually a big part of who you are)" she's spouting even at the end is utter cow manure. For a minute it looked like maybe she saw where she went wrong and could try to fix things, but nope. Tragic.
The idea that sexuality is a choice is absurd. No one would willingly choose to face such negativity. Queer people have always known who they are, just like straight people. 🌟
Stop with the pity party. LGBT people are statistically safer than straight people in western civilization, and society bends over backwards to pander to them. They're a privileged class.
I was brought up Christian, but as much as my family was religious, we had a gay uncle on my father's side. No one snubbed him that I know of because family was more important. People need to realize that their beliefs do matter when it comes to other people's lives. My niece is a lesbian and she came out and I was like, and? I always told myself my kids would still be my kids no matter what. They have to live their lives for themselves in the end.
Not really there’s a big difference between support and love if I the columbine shoters mom supports them that’s not love that’s just lying to yourself
A friend in high school was terrified to come out to me. Me being Catholic, he was afraid I would go off on him. He told our Baptist friend expecting her to be cool with it. It was the opposite. She WENT OFF on him. The whole burning in Hell speech. He didn't even tell me. 2 other "friends" cracked a joke about it and I asked for clarification. Then he told me he's gay. I said "ok." He was confused. I said "it's between u and God. Eric. We r both Catholic. U know we pray for everyone. I'm just gonna add on praying for u to live however God wants u to." He relaxed. Then I learned what the Baptist girl said. My response was "we all risk burning in Hell. Including the Pope himself. That's why we r all supposed to do our best to live by God's laws. And remember, only He determines where u go when u die. And He knows everything. " He and I weren't close because our personalities just didn't mesh well. I still run into him. He is doing very well. I'm proud of him.
to the mom who cast aside her lesbian daughter, and the commenters.. why is nobody pointing out that lesbian is NOT a choice. If I were a lesbian and my mom thought it was my "bad choice" I'd never speak to her again either.
Yeah. Exactly. I also don't buy the way the OP is framing everything. I have a feeling the daughter has dealt with a lot from the brother and this was the final straw and she's going scorched earth even with her avenue of financial support.
the proliferation of the word 'choice' regarding ops daughters sexuallity is gross and very telling of the undercurrent artitude of what the daughter had to deal with. gross.
true, it is very complicated, like I guess the brother F up hard, but he is 14 , while he is responsible for what he did, like the mother said, continuous punishment is not the way either, and it seems like the parents have to choose either one of them like I get how angry and disappointed she is, what she went through is not easy, but man, this next part I'm saying must purely come from inside of her or else she just gonna cut off everyone from her family, I know maybe it's impossible to forgive her brother, but maybe, I hope maybe she can like you know treat him like a guest or a friend of the parents for a start if possible, or if it is really not possible just ignore him but don't make it hard for her parents. I mean I don't know the reality of how the family interaction is, like to be this bad permanently I'm kinda questioning if the family is kinda distant to each other from the very beginning.
I feel like if she does this she's going to regret ghosting her whole family instead of coming to a compromise other than "if hes here I wont be here" as shes 18 and the boy is 14 so they can't just kick him out the house on holidays or send him somewhere where she can just drive somewhere or even move out if she wanted. So I hope they can get her to have a conversation on what they can do to keep them in both in their lives or something so that she'll keep in contact with them at the very least. Then if she doesn't want to do anything then all they can do is respect her wishes and just move on with raising the son to be a better person and get him help before he hurts himself.
Yeah, I hope time will help. After being away from her family, still going to therapy, and if OP doesn't insist on her forgiving her brother, maybe it'll get better. I think she needs to get away a little to heal from the betrayal and understand he was just being really stupid. It's still really fresh to her and she needs time
I'll be frank. While the daughter is within her rights to do what she is doing and definitely justified on being upset even for a long while, on the surface this just seems like an unhealthy coping mechanism. What I mean by that is, I don't know the dynamics of the family, and it could be assumed that this is the last straw in a series of issues between daughter and son that we are not privy to. On that end, I do feel OP is perhaps not giving the full truth. My brother and I are polar opposites but we still get along well and even share some humorous banter. We just don't go out of our way for each other unless it's family related or dire. No ill will, just we were never that close, and this is because he is 13 years my senior. On the other hand the only time I personally have seen siblings do what this daughter is doing is when there is a pattern of conflict. This is why I don't really trust OP's claim they always just left each other alone. But I'm inly one person, so take my anecdotes with a grain of salt. Taking this at face value though, the daughter's actions would be nuclear at the first go. Yes the son was stupid and trying to be edgy. Bit he is also 14. If I were OP I would not push the issue of reconciliation, but I would remind her that he is 14, and even if for the sake of argument they didn't invite him to family gatherings, he would still be under their care for another 3 or 4 years. So her request isn't realistic. And putting him up in another house is also unrealistic because then SHE is forcing her parents to choose between children, and that is an asshole move at face value. She doesn't have to forgive her brother yet, but she needs to understand that he isn't her abuser. He is an idiot, but not her abuser. Going scorched earth for every resolution isn't healthy because it just causes you to be isolated and likely wondering why you can't trust people. When it's you, that's caused that issue. People get wind of your reputation and likely would walk on eggshells around you and then stop inviting you to places and gatherings. In short, what she is doing to her brother on the face of it, would be considered abusive ib it's own right. And just because she was abused does not give her the right to do that. Most people are not this extreme even with the trauma of abuse or other. That is why I feel OP isn't giving all the info and it makes me cautious to beleive her framing. She might likely believe that because they didn't get along that it's a failure on her part so by softening that aspect of her story to merely "they were never close but were civil" is almost self soothing for her. But I don't know. It's only a theory.
Honestly the daughter in the "my daughter cut me off" story is the one who disowned the mom. Yes, the mom dropped the ball on supporting her daughter initially, but the relationship ended on the daughter's terms. The daughter chose to cut contact and not invite her mother to the wedding. But then she goes and plays the victim, complaining about "why can't my mother be at my wedding to support me?" She has every right to make that decision, but she should not pretend it's her mother's. She should stand by it proudly if that's her stance, not blame someone else and act offended that ir happened.
@@ryangooseling When ever you go over your boss's head you run the risk of losing your job, and you are never required to put yourself in financial difficulty to save someone else, unless you caused the problem to begin with.
@@mwalton9526you take it higher. I've been in a similar situation and you know what my redirect boss did? she took it higher than her boss knowing he was on on the joking and harassment and possibly would get backlash. you know what happened to her boss and the ah colleague? they were both fired. being in HR is most a cop look out for the company position. but also. being a bully like that in he can cause some MASSIVE litigious liability as well. op sucks and is not leadership matters. they don't have the grit
To the mom whose daughter won't forgive her. It is time to focus on yourself. Ignore the comments that bash your religion because you shouldn't have to invalidate something important to you in order to validate your daughter. If she has no forgiveness in her, then that is a "her" problem. You continue to love her, but focus on fighting the new enemy in your life.
It's not unheard of that brothers and sisters aren't close to each other growing up. I was in that situation myself and apart from wishing each other Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas, we don't really speak to each other. We were just never that close. The son can be sorry as he wants, but it doesn't negate what he did. He will just have to live with the consequences of his actions. It's a good life lesson for him to keep his little trap shut about sensitive things that no one needs to know about. Especially if you tell it to people who you know will probably tell others.
If I was the mother of the second story, I would have a talk with my daughter's best friend's parents to see if she could live with them for the remainder of the time. The daughter needs space.
S3 is terrible... Personally if someone in my team would do that, I'll take that person in my office and ask how dumb they think I am. I wouldn't care if my manager would approve. This is a d** and disrespectful way. Figures they're HR, those are the worse because they feel above everyone else... No consequences of course... AH
give the girl some freaking time, my god. she has to cokpletely reprocess now and no amount of begging or groveling or demanding or crying or rueing the day will change the reopening of that wound- which prob wasnt ever gonna c o m p l e t e l y heal anyway. git gud, edgelord. suffering is metal. yall are both young enough she might be able to look at you again if mom gets out of her face about it for a while, but no intention is good enough to unsalt that injury. be better, let her freaking breathe, and hope.
Right?! Mom is more concerned about baby boy's hurt feelings than a reopened trauma and how exposed, guilty, and ashamed her daughter must be feeling, and that's effed up. He feels bad because his actions now have real consequences and he looks bad. Newsflash! He was, and he needs to sit with that. If savings can go toward jewelry, they can go towards therapy. I feel so bad for that girl. Glad she could turn to her bff's family for support.
What are you even talking about she keep saying she isn’t forcing anyone to forgive him he daughter is throwing a tantrum like a little kid because she doesn’t want he 14 year old brother in the house she is tell them it her or him tf you want them to throw out a kid and second having trauma is a big deal and having the trust she had broken is hard but making her parents the bad guy won’t help with shit and give her time ok fine but her but she is acting childish
I understand distancing from the son, but distancing the parents too is a little too much because the kid is only 14 and shes 18 they can't just disown him just so that she that she will Atleast talk to her own parent or parents. Shes not wrong for hating him, but theres a better way about going about it. I hope they got to some compromise of some sort though
I get that the son in story 2 is still a child, but he should still be old enough to understand what he did was unacceptable and I completely get that the daughter won't forgive him.
YES! The fact that she kept calling it a "choice" told me more than her other words did. It really sounds like there's much more to the story than what OP revealed. We're only getting OP's point of view and it doesn't explain why her daughter reacted the way she did.
Oh definitely the tip of that iceberg! She's leaving out so much that through the first sentence she didn't even say why! Oh my daughter is upset and calling me a monster because I made one teensy tiny mistake. She whispers: (I invalidated her life and love over religion) But she hurt me and that's what matters!
Plus, you know what the Bible says about homosexuality? Abso-freaking-lutely NOTHING. Just a bunch of bigots teaching others to keep being bigots over a book written thousands of years ago modified heavily by different kings, and translated...who knows how well. Like, that is your source material?
Using the wrong words doesn’t mean OP didn’t change or want to change. Another story was like this and that OP apologized when someone corrected them on it. Also daughter is calling her a monster to other people online. No one was making the daughter do that. Just because she’s gay doesn’t give her a pass. Also the last commenter needs therapy
@@RedK5 no, but the insistence on saying "choice" belies a more insidious undertone. Being gay isn't a choice, it's a part of who her daughter is. Is it the only thing? no, but in a setting where most if not her whole family are hostile to her very existence because they don't know about it, she is going to reasonably be hyper vigilant. The OP constantly referring to her daughters sexuality as a choice is essentially invalidating her existence.
The way the wife talks about the husband in story 6 feels abusive. I can understand that the husband is Not Exactly The Sharpest Tool In The Box but on the other hand ma'am the way you talk about him makes me feel like you should divorce him
Comment about the lesbian daughter and mother. First I will say I am Catholic and while yes, majority of Catholics do not agree or support gay marriage or anything in that category, I do. Like I said I am Catholic but I am one of these crazy Catholics that believe God does not make mistakes and HE made us in His image (what we are taught from day one) and made us how He wants us. That mother talks of unconditional love and I don't think she knows the meaning. Unconditional love would have said to her daughter the day she came out that she loves her and is there for her no matter what. Unconditional love is putting her ego and her judgments aside for her daughter. I would never dream of telling my daughter that she can't be herself around me while also saying I unconditionally left you but I don't want to see the part of you that I don't agree with. That's just not love. I also think it's pretty convenient that now she wants to be there for her daughter now that it's on Facebook and she's being shamed publicly for it. Sounds like she doesn't like the fact that people know that she disowned her daughter. Again, her ego is bruised and she wants to fix it. And" be there there" for her daughter. No, she just doesn't want to look bad in front of others and wants to fix that.
I never understood why any parent would involve themselves in their child's intimate life. Beyond being loved and happy and safe, idgaf if they love a guy or a chick or a frigging farm animal 🤮
What really got me about the Catholic mom is how she said she'd had a 'crisis of faith' and left the Church, & spoke about how the Church had poisoned her - and in the next post she's right back in the Church & saying how she won't give up her faith or beliefs. Did she flipflop? Or was she lying? She doesn't want to do any of the actual work necessary to reconnect & thinks saying she's sorry & how she can 'love her daughter but disagree with her choice of lifestyle' should be enough & her daughter needs to stop showing her up online & just forgive her already. She's effectively demanding her daughter stops making a fuss & stops forcing her to face the consequences of her own actions.
In other words you are a rational and empathetic human being who actually follows the teaching of Jesus where he bade human being not to judge others as that is the purview of God? Good, i am glad to see more of this.
@@gemcorker3982 she's a bigot and the way her denomination teaches justifies those prejudices and keeps her from dealing with her own cognitive dissonance. It sucks because it's bot purely a religion thing but religion is definitely the largest institutional perpetrator of such prejudices. ETA: I know the questions were rhetorical, I just vented cause I can't stand the kind of hypocrisy the mom is engaging in.
Story 2: so i understand that it was a serious situation, no arguing that. What i dont understand is why the daughter is playing us vs them on her parents when its their teenage son on the line, he gets no excuse from me, but what else was op supposed to do other than ground him and give him shit along with therapy? I just dont know what else they couldve done. Had op sided with their son and downplayed the daughters situation i could totally understand, but thats not what happened. Also hes a teenager, im not surprised he was a little asshole like that, i may not have been one but lets be real, teenagers have been assholes since forever and probably always will be, he learnt his lesson the best he could for now and a day will come when proper reconciliation can occur. What the daughter needs to understand is that her doing this is completely unhelpful to her and her relationship with her parents, i just hope for her sake that she figures that out and goes to the therapy op offered
I was wondering why it was all exploding too. I think it's because the daughter's darkest trauma got spread around and it sounds like the son probably played it off as "not a big deal". I know I would be super hurt if my darkest traumas were spread around and joked about. The parents probably didn't support daughter (the current victim) enough and OP keeps calling what the son did as a "mistake". It was a mistake but it was also SOOO much worse. This is probably why the daughter got upset again when they gave the son his privileges back; The punishment didn't fit the crime in her eyes. I think only time will heal this wound. If daughter ever sees that the son's matured enough, then she may consider forgiving him. He's 14 so I can imagine how immature he still is. It's probably going to be a very long road. She's also at fault a little too, she has to realize that he's only 14 and 14 yr old boys are idiots. I'm not blaming the victim, I'm just saying that she has to keep in mind that her current attacker is literally a child.
@peterkn2 ya, see he at least got punished for 2 months, that's the low end estimation I've seen float around. Not sure what more could be done there you know? You are right tho that time is a good tool but it would honestly be in the daughters best interest to go to therapy like op offered and express how she feels in a setting where someone can put the situation in frame for all sides
I honestly just feel bad for everyone in the situation. OP’s daughter did NOT deserve that. I’d just like to say that I’m younger than OP’s son (I know people mature at different rates) and would never do something as horrific as telling my friends about my sister’s trauma so that I could seem more “edgy”. OP’s daughter just seems to feel like she’s been betrayed completely by her brother because now everyone knows about her trauma, especially since the trauma was SA. If OP pushes it with her daughter and tries to argue, “But your brother’s still a kid!”, then she’s totally in the wrong. OP’s daughter was still a child (17) when her trauma got spread around. In fact, she’s still a teen and not completely mentally developed. Hopefully, there will one day be reconciliation, but if that day never comes, they’ll have to suck it up and accept that they can’t force her to forgive her brother because he did a terrible thing. I just feel no one just blame OP’s daughter in the slightest lol.
@@brenscott5416Yeah, but OP’s daughter is/was already having individual therapy and her therapist encouraged OP’s daughter’s own mental health, which is good, and didn’t tell her to prioritize her familial connections. If the daughter doesn’t want to reconcile with her brother, it’s her decision IMO. Family therapy can’t fix everything, but I get your point. Good points.
@Ilovebooks31111 oh I was more on with her being in therapy with her parents. She should eventually realize her brother was just a kid being a dickhead who learnt his lesson eventually, but her cutting off her parents is extremely unhealthy for her given that her patents are on her side
S2 is horrible, sad and very upsetting, but the brother really messed up by revealing personal awful things to his friends.. about an awful thing that happened to HIS SISTER.. just to appear edgy to his friends.. especially a personal thing... As awful as it is for a parent.. the brother has to live with his actions.. as fucked as it is.. he made his choice... There isn't much he can do except wait for the sister.. and she may never choose to do so... It sucks though...
47:27 this part just pissed me off completely because there's a difference between Christians and Catholics all my grandparents are/have been Christian my grandparents on my dad's side aren't anymore but my grandparents on my moms side have been Christians for as long as i can remember and they're accepting to LGBTQ+ people i came out to my Christian grandma before i came out to my parents (my parents aren't homophobic i was just scared) and what makes me mad is people say that Christians and Catholics are the same when all Catholics think they're better than people and it's rare that a Christian will think they're better than anyone else because most Christians think all people are equal i just feel like i needed to address that stereotype because it's hurtful when people say that when my grandparents are the best people ever especially on my moms side they're forgiving of a lot of things and trust people in moments most non-religious people wouldn't and in Galatians 3:26-29 - 28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. and i just want to say I'm not religious though i want to be but I'm a little scared because my dad isn't the most accepting person which is why i came out to my grandma first then my mother than everyone else i just had to say that because it made me really mad they said that to the point i kinda wanted to cry lol because like i said my grandma is the best person you could ever meet in your entire life so can we please stop saying that stereotypical stuff because saying that is like saying all white people are racist which is definitely not true
It's interesting how those who always preach acceptance seem the most hateful I see it from both sides. Because a lot of those reddit comments were attacking both her and her religion acting like all Christians are the same and spitting in her face for even trying to be better. As for how I understand being gay and the church, We are all sinners in some capacity and we will all be judged for our sin. I also understand that there is some debate due to the wording in the bible as too if they mean being gay or something else. However what is most clear is, It is for God to judge our sins not for us so if being gay is or isn't a sin it doesn't matter just love and be kind and treat them as you would anyone else. And if God thinks it's wrong for me too believe that then I guess I'll see some of yall in hell XD
The problem is, there are a lot of people within Christianity who don't hold the toxic aspects of judging others to account. There is a lot of telling people what Jesus would do, but not a lot of following what he says. This makes it hard to take those who profess to follow a religion for it's righteousness or whatever, seriously. It is intolerance, but it's not intolerance of religion, as there are people of abrahamic religions that are actually very accepting and open about that. ITs about being intolerant to intolerance. If someone is going to be hostile to the very existence of someone who is just trying to live their life, and their "religion" is being twisted to account for and justify them being hostile... there is no reasonable expectation to be tolerant of that.
2nd story: I understand that the daughter had a very difficult situation in her life. At the same time, her brother made a very stupid and crucial mistake, but he was 14 years old. Sure the daughter might take time or even years to forgive him. And if she doesnt want to forgive him then its her choice. She should also understand that her current actions may have severe consequences in the future. She is an adult, life is not fair and very difficult at times. But if this continues, the son might hurt himself in a very bad way to atone for his mistake. Hopeful that doesn't happen. I do hope things become better in the future for all of them.
This is a japan movie he knows what S/A and what he was doing like the story said I do hope he doesn't do the imma hurt myself to try to either understand or try to give the sister to come to the hospital and try to reconcile.
Honestly in the story of the mom and lesbian daughter, the daughter feels like the bigger asshole. Whether or not you think she's doing a good job, the mother is at least trying to prove that she still loves her daughter. The daughter on the other hand seems to just be sitting there festering in her hate and spite.
To be fair, the dad wasn’t homophobic. I think he was actually very responsible about it. He told her he would love her despite not agreeing. That’s not homophobic. That’s being a good parent and loving unconditionally. I also feel as if the other thing he said is being treated like hate speech. Should he have explained It better? Yes, but saying not to flaunt her relationship around internet of his traditional catholic family isn’t being homophobic. I don’t have a problem with the LGBTQ+ community either. Do I agree with it? Yes and no. Love who you love. But if you’re gonna be offended by what he said then, grow up. You can’t be a full adult and get offended by the father being honest.
No, both you and the dad are homophobic. "Oh I love you, just not a immutable aspect of you", is such a cope out. Imagine saying similar about someone's skin color, only other racists would think you're not racist for saying that. A person's sexuality won't change, and will never change. "Saying not to flaunt her relationship around internet", is being homophobic. He would NEVER say this about a straight couple, he wouldn't even register in his brain if someone on his facebook feed was flaunting their relationship online if they happened to be straight.
Sure, she is under no obligation to forgive her brother. However, she is punishing her parents, who were not the one to tell others about the situation.
So... i am wary to believe OPs framing in Story two. Either we aren't getting an accurate history of the family dynamics, and OP is not telling the full interaction for why her daughter would go this level of scorched earth with her whole family, or her daughter is herself toxic af. What i mean by that is, it sucks the daughter was abused and she is within her rights to be angry at 18, she's allowed to do what she wants, however, her actions at face value are themselves abusive. And as such while it sucks to lose a daughter, its also healthier because she clearly needs more help and time to process things. She may cone around and she may not. It sucks because I know that it's painful but at the end of the day you have to do what's best for your family, and her actions were stressing everyone out. She gets my sympathies for being a victim of abuse, but that doesn't give her leave to be abusive herself. The caveat here, is that I personally don't buy into OPs framing of their family dynamic. The actions the daughter takes makes way more sense if you find out that she isn't the "golden child" and because she also isn't the baby she doesn't have the same leeway with her parents the brother does. The level of flippantly talking about your sisters abuse that she's stating is... REALLY crappy. And while yes he is 14, that is young enough to be stupid, but old enough to know better. The thing is if he has the balls to do that it didn't just come out of nowhere. So I wouldn't be surprised if what we are seeing is a glossed over framing of the dynamic between her children where the daughter tolerated the brother for as long as she had to but was more than willing to leave when she was of age. The "edginess" crap her brother pulled regarding her actual abuse was just the last straw, and her parents trying to force this idea of reconciliation amidst a history of torment makes the actions she is taking much more reasonable. Hell there are reddit stories that talk about that golden child dynamic and how around the parents the golden child is an angel but is actually a devil in disguise. I can verify this and honestly its just a gut feeling, so take it with a grain of salt, but I just don't see any reasonable person going full scorched earth like this without some history.
For the second one, the son popped off trying to be edgey and cool for his friends and exposed his sister's darkest secret to the WHOLE SCHOOL, and believe me that she was bullied for it, but the mom is worried about her sweet little boy having his feelings hurt by the consequences of his own actions? No, daughter doesn't owe that family crap! She's getting treatment and mom is complaining about how much money it's costing?! FR? Sell the son's game console, have him mow neighbors lawns, get a job working fast food on the weekends! There's so much more that could be done! She clearly favors the son, and daughter has every right to never speak to either of them again! She can if she wants, but you can't control someone's feelings or direct their healing because they came out of your body. Don't force it. Let him understand that actions have life altering consequences, and that what we say can never truly be taken back. He "dipped into his savings" to get her a necklace? Why didn't he dip into his savings to pay for therapy? A trinket is at best a bandaid and at worst could widen the gap between them. He feels bad, but in a reactionary way, because it affects him negatively. He's trying to soothe his guilt with petty objects instead of going to therapy to understand how he messed up and how to be a better person going forward. Affordable therapy is out there. That mom is more concerned about her baby boy's hurt ego than her daughter's trauma and widespread exposure. SA, especially in childhood, is so traumatic and carries lifelong guilt and shame, and the son exposed her to all of her friends and peers? She could go scorched earth and be totally valid. I wish her the best in her future without those selfish and toxic people. BFFs family are the unsung heroes for taking her in and giving her a place to be/go where she won't have to be pressed every minute to forgive her brother and his hurt feelings. I'm the family scapegoat. I know what's up. I was estranged from my sister for two years (as grown-@ss adults, no less) because I called out her ableist and exclusionary behavior towards our dad and myself. Yes, for pointing out her bad behavior I was punished. Nothing done about her bad behavior tho. It took a death scare from Dad to bring her back to bare minimum in our lives. My family likes to pretend their sh*t don't stink and point out mine as the problem, but at least I flush. 😤 Affordable therapy is out there and available to everyone. I'm the only family member that has ever stuck with it. Funny that...and yet I'm the problem. Hmmm... (where's the Nick Cage meme when you need it, lol) Make it make sense.
For calling out her sh*tty behavior of disabled people specifically because they are disabled? Yeah, no, that checks out. I should've said, "Thank you ma'am, may I please have another!" 😂 Also, that's the tip of the iceberg of the treatment of us. My psychiatrist and therapist, who call me on my bullsh*t and have been treating me more of my life than not at this point, were both glad I finally stood up for myself. Thanks for your judgment kind stranger! ❤
I feel bad for both siblings. But tbh I don’t think cutting off someone for being a stupid 14 year old is warranted. I understand not speaking for awhile, but literally having him be dead to her? Idk it just fees too far for me
story 2: the daughter is a lost cause. she never started to heal, she just pushed it down and it boiled over. i guess she now uses her brother as scapegoat. what he did is bad, but he is a child and maybe just maybe he has problemes with what happend to her as well. there is some build up resentment against her from his site as well and i think he coudn't talk about that at home because this was something everyone walked around on egg shells. op will loose both children. she already lost her daughter a long time ago and now she pushes her son out with force as well. if someone doesn't want help then you can push as much therapy on that person as you'd like... it doesn't help. and seeing that she didn't even took her earpulgs out in therapy basicly tells the complete story by it self. please for the sanity of your family just push her away and moan her death. start therapy for your son. she does not want help, she does not want to heal. she will always find a new scapegoat to push her resentment and anger upon. and no i don't downplay what happend to her. can't imagine how soul crushing s.a. must be for a child. how deep that cut.
for story 5 idk what those 🏳🌈 ppl are talking about just because you are Christian doesn't make you hate gay people, nor does it mean we can't change some people will hate some wont don't group everyone in. I personally don't care what you do in your personal life or what gender you like I'm Christian, but it isn't my business what you do or to say God dislikes you I believe he loves us all and you all have your own relationships with him or whoever you worship. but I think op did what they can it's the daughter's choice to stay no contact but the posts about how she was disowned when she messaged the mom don't text me did seem like she was after attention.... but anyways just saying don't group everyone in because you had a bad experience 😊
The lesbian daughter story feels like either the mom is missing out on a major something she did... but then if thats not true it sounds like the daughter is one of those 'my way or the highway' people who cuts people out of their lives at the merest _hint_ of disagreement. Like how she stopped talking with the sisters because of the 'proximity' to the mother. Thats fucking weird behaviour
The daughter in story 2 sounds like she was coddled after the abuse too much the brother is innocent other than talking to friends about the abuse she faced and the counselor is supposed to tell parents otherwise they can get fired for not telling the parents
To the mother who didn't want anything to do with your daughter's wife, because the bible is against gayness. The original scripture of the bible, which has been translated and translated over 2000 years and some words weren't translated directly, says "man shall not lie with boy" which can be interpreted that an adult shouldn't share a bed with a child
It aggravates me when people try to push their homosexual beliefs at other people (especially when they know the other person doesn't believe it's moral) and get upset when they don't want to support that part of their life. I just recently lost a friend due to this. They were born male and decided they wanted to be a woman at the age of 20. A couple months later, I proposed to my fiance and gave him an invite. We made it clear to him that since he hasn't gone through any surgery or treatment, he was to wear gender neutral or male clothes. He sent my fiance and I messaged about how bad we are and how he feels so betrayed. When he told me he was trans a few months before this conversation, I told him that I will still support him as a person, but I can't support that part of his life due to my beliefs and he seemed pretty chill about it. Luckily it didn't cause family drama or anything, so it all turned out okay.
Her* and the mother is in the wrong and the daughter had every right to be mad, the mother told her not to bring the family to her relationship so she didn’t, you need realize that it’s just a belief or a choice, no Jen chooses to be harassed or killed over someone they love
And also yes you and your friend are find but that doesn’t work with the mother and daughter situation, the the daughter wasn’t forcing but was hurt by what the mom said which she had every right to be. You didn’t tell your friend that you support them but don’t bring it to the friend group or say to not bring it to the wedding, you actually did a respectfuly but the mother didn’t
For the mother who told her daughters she didn't respect her choice unconditional love has no conditions your words are falsehood from the beginning. Until your daughter's wife is part of your family and accepted there is no hope of you ever getting your daughter to forgive you forgiving you may not be in your best interests as of now and what you've done is like saying I'm sorry you feel like you deserve an apology😢 and that is sad you're only doing this for yourself😢plZ if you cannot accept who your how can you claim to love her and really do any and really do any of us have a choice who we love so don't sorry be careful
So in story 2, OP didn't actually punish her kid for talking about trauma he KNEW wasn't okay to talk about, then wonders why her daughter won't talk to them. She'll probably some years down the line ask why her kid never comes home again That dude is a TEENAGER and throws a crying fit because he got consequences to his actions OP 3 is so dumb "I can't do anything" YES YOU CAN. FORWARD HER REPORT TO HR! OP made her leave because she was harassed by her coworkers! Edit: So HR is a bunch of bullies who retaliate and create a hostile work environment? Seems like a lawsuit is coming
she punished him by taking his electronics and stopping his contact with friends at least up until the first post. he regained those privileges sometime between the original post and the update. so for at least two months he was punished.
@@heyyitsjanea Two months of electronics taken and not visiting friends isn't an actual punishment for saying stuff about trauma. That didn't do crap clearly, because he threw a hissy fit over not being able to abuse her anymore
Why do some gay people assume that all us Cristian’s are evil vile creatures. I’m Cristian and as long as you don’t attempt to inflict your lgbtq beliefs then I believe we can be goood friends
Because majority Christian’s are, not saying all but the amount of videos of people being Christian are spewing hate towards gay people for no reason, And or are harassing them
The internet seems to have convinced kids that they can just threaten no-contact over anything and everything. It's so common in stories nowadays. The son is a dick, but I'm sure the daughter learned this bs from Tumblr or Twitter and now she'll be another isolated young woman who pushed her family away.
Going no contact has always been an option and a warning to unsupportive families, pre and post internet. Usually therapy is a first step, but sometimes it does not work.
Isolated? Because people outside her family don't exist now? She's not isolated, she still obviously has friends and people she can lean on. She just seemed to have moved on from people who she doesn't feel she can count on anymore.
Story 5. Hate religious bigots. Supernatural ideas are not an excuse for hating others on the basis of identity ie sex, race, ethnicity, etc. Have too many two-faced religious types in my life that preach love and spew hate
To the lady who refused to take care of an affair baby. I understand you feel betrayed and I understand not wanting to be financially responsible for your husband's mistakes. I hope you dont speak like this to the child's face. It's not the child's fault for being born.
The lesbian daughter is no better than her mom. Where is her understanding and acceptance? Why is only one party obligated to accept and understand. She knew her mother was a religious person and what her reaction would be. They could have made a compromise.
absolutely... how dare she not be accepting to a family that likely is passive aggressive and constantly invalidate her existence by saying her sexuality is a "choice." She should suck it up and just let them walk all over her. But seriously. Her situation is at least a little more relatable, because she is in the middle of a wolf den. While not all Christians are anti LGBTQ+ if someone is Christian it's not unreasonable to assume where their stance on such things is. If that is proven wrong, then fantastic! However, because of the more insidious aspects of trying to cope, small things stand out that show they are not as accepting as they claim to be. Part of that is the whole "choice" reference. Anyone that actually listens to people from the LGBTQ+ community will know that it isn't a choice, it's who they are, anymore than being a given race is a choice, or being neurodivergent is a choice. And to be fair, maybe it's just her being ignorant, but that's ignorance over a span of time where OP has probably been told more than once that it's not a choice.
The daughter most likely would have, but not only did op say she didn’t accept she said don’t bring it to the family, with out know if the family is gunna care or not, love will never be enough if you DONT show it
What compromise? She just turn off her lesbianism and hide her wife in the closet whenever her mother comes over for a visit? Also what would be the compromise on the mother's part? Being around the gays? Now I don't know your love life obviously, but what would you do if you married a black man and your parents were racists? They think interracial marriages are an affront to God, so how would you find a compromise? Why would it be fair to hide away part of your life, the love of your life, because other people had a problem with it? I recommend reading up on the Paradox of Tolerance, it does a good job at explaining why you must be intolerant towards intolerance to preserve tolerance.
The daughter is the villain IMO, or at least the jerk. She was actively insulting the mother who did nothing but try to learn from what u believe was while a little rude, not a horrible thing to say. The daughter played the victim while not allowing the mother to reconcile. Then one instance of rudeness culminates in her not even wanting to support her dying mother? Is no one gonna mention that?
I think it's important to remember that this is all told from the mothers perspective, and even if it's only on a subconscious level, people tend to paint themselves in the best light they can. Each post was pretty sparse with details overall, and seemed somewhat inconsistent with her exact views and interactions with her daughter. I can only imagine what she is leaving out.
I mean what I have learned from the Bible, is Adam came first then from Adam *God* created Eve from Adams rib, am I right or am I wrong? Edit: if you think I’m wrong, please don’t hesitate to write me a message 😁😁
Okay As someone who has been through family s.a Story two She is kinda being a bitch Like i get it He broke her trust and he is yhe asshoel But he was trying to make it uo and was punished for it Op was trying their best and she shut them out to Not saying she is a total asshoel But she is clearly in pain about it and is lashing out
WDYM lashing out? If someone, a family member decides to expose your deepest trauma in a flippant mocking way, are you supposed to be stoic and bear it? He talked about it to his friends several times and so callously. The daughter is allowed to not want a relationship with that brother. He was 14, she was 17. She isn't an adult who should grin and bear it and even if she was an adult, no one is allowed to mock anyone's trauma. Let it be a lesson to the boy about consequences. Maybe in future, he will be more considerate to others. OP should let go of trying to fix their relationship, if it happens, it happens. You also need to think about why you call a child abuse victim who was bullied by all her peers thanks to the actions of her brother, 'kind of a bitch'.
@@Azulakayes I'm giving my opinion as a child of the same abuse. She is clearly doing a type of lashing out and no one is helping or taking her seriously. I get it. The brother is an asshole but he is 14 as was trying to make it right. She doesn't have to forgive him but at least be sivel with him. She threw away the gift he bought her. And the way she is acting towards her father is also a type of way of lashing out. Yes op needs to step back but she disinved her to her graduation, thats a big deal over him gently asking her to talk to her brother. Then she left so either she is acting out or op is a lair in some way I've been down this road before and i dont remeber op saying she was bullied about it. Most kids these days wouldnt.
@@Azulakayes I don't remember that part And you know what. It would have gotten out anyway because you half to tell the school and the office people to make sure the abuser doesn't come back
@@BunnyEcho1 We don't know if the rapist went to that school, if not then there was no reason for any student at the school knowing. If you didn't pick up on the most basic facts of the story maybe you should rewatch it but pay attention this time.
The story about the catholic mother being estranged by her lesbo daughter shows how messed up the world is atm, calling Christians out for not accepting gays, even though gays are slaughtered in Islamic culture. The mother is wrong, for trying to get back with her daughter when her daughter left. Just give it up, it's just a lost sheep that refuses help. Being called back over and over just pushes the dumb sheep away, the mother should have accepted the separation and moved on, but she got stuck and now she's a lost sheep too. Pathetic, putting a broken relationship above all else.
"calling Christians out for not accepting gays, even though gays are slaughtered in Islamic culture." what does this pivot have to do with anything? Christians can be called out for it as well as Islamic people as well. In fact they are. I'm just not sure what you are trying to say here aside from "why are we being punished when these people over here are worse!"
I know this sounds rude but if my kids say that I be like "ok since your brother is dead to you don't feel pain and sorrow if he does die from your words"
@@cubbybonez1133yeah no. That is disgustingly manipulative and doesnt even mean that any action done by the sister towaed the brother from then on will be genuine, worst still, youre completely ignoring the fact that the girl is already traumatised, for her parents to then do that to her would severe any desire to keep the relationship at all and further enforce in daughter's mind that her family are so sick and twisted theyd resort to manipulation to get their way. All in all your suggestion is piss poor and not thought through at all lol
Add dude needs a lot of skill building activity he is not ready to be a parent but it's none of your business cut it loose he doesn't need your help he needs to get better on his own and you're just going to make it so he doesn't try. He he to get DBT counseling and build skills and it won't help if you're there he needs to do this on his own
I hate the way many commenters and even the daughter acted. Everyone’s gonna pelt the mother with insults when she said ‘I don’t agree but love you’. Everyone talking about accepting her, is wanting to be at the wedding for the daughter and her wife not accepting? Second, are we going to ignore the daughter’s attempts to hurt the image of the mother, just because she acted spineless and got offended? The mother was likely earning her that the family didn’t feel the same, and wouldn’t live her anymore. But no, let’s not saying anything to the daughter for insulting and hurting the mother, let’s insult and insult the straight mother for being honest and loving conditionally.
@@AncientAlienTheorist-yl8czthe way they talked down to her was the most disgusting part to me, acting like they know “unconditional love”. People are allowed to love each other and disagree on something, they need to get off their high horse
The daughter is a professional victim. Also, people who judge Christians, Muslims, etc, based on their religion are no better than those who judge people based on their sexuality. Both are abhorrent and both are hypocrites.
So, the second story, the daughter needs to calm the hell down and get her panties untwisted. Yeah he shouldn't have talked about it, but that's no reason to completely cut him out of her life, and giving her family an ultimatum.
Yes it is. If someone tells you they were raped and doesn't give you permission to tell other people and you do anyway, expect them to never talk to you again.
@@mwalton9526no it doesn’t she is being an ass about it and get a real check no one gives a shit your private life why do people act like what people say or think in high school matter it really doesn’t and it’s stupid shit like that. That piss me off and don’t give me that shit I don’t know how it feels I do I’ve been through a lot but I know damn well that if you do stupid shit like it only makes life worse
@@tofluffybunny6780none of what you said changes a damn thing lol. Youre essentially attempting to invalidate the girl because of your own experience. Thats sad man, real sad
"The only things you need in life is food, shelter and Yu-Gi-Oh cards"
Legendary
S2 I don't feel sorry for the brother, yeah he's 14 he's not 7. Who betrays a sibling like that? In Text also... Making a joke out of it. It's more than counseling he needs. She's the victim, once she's moved out they can focus on the son. Right now I'm so damn angry that he has no pity or understanding for his sister.
I also sense the mother is more worried about her poor little boy. You already see she's ready to push the daughter to work it out. Sounds like the son doesn't necessarily got more punishment than grounding and lack of electronics. This is no mistake, I hate OP keeps repeating this. Tone deaf parent.
The parents are definitely on the side of the son, poor daughter. I can only advise her to go low contact with her family.
I think the same. There are quite a few people in the comments saying "but he is only 14." Yes. Old enough to know better. And think that the daughter is wrong for treating the parents this way and that the daughter is harming their relationship. Like... The daughter is not harming the relationship, she was the one who was harmed. I feel no sympathy for the son, I doubt he would be sorry if sister didn't cut him out. And shame on OP. This wasn't a mistake. She was siding with the son. The daughter is the one who needed support from her parents, badly. So yes she is hurt seeing he is being let off easily and her mom refuses to understand how her daughter is feeling. OP is just feeling sorry for herself and is trying to get us to agree she isn't being treated fairly.
@@eileenhatton5240 yeah this whole situation had that whole "golden child" feeling about it. I just don't think the daughter would go this hard if it wasn't also history behind everything. Something just feels off and OP doesn't feel like a reliable narrator.
I can't believe the parents are trying to downplay what the brother did. It wasn't a mistake, it was a conscious decision to betray his sister. They need to open their eyes and see the real damage he's caused.
"we truly love eachother, he just CHEATED ON ME RIGHT AFTER THE WEDDING AND HAD A CHILD WITH THE WOMAN" Deluded
Seems legit 😂 I swear, Reddit is the new Jerry
😂😂😂😂 exactly 💯
Story 2: son revictimized her. She is going through a second assault. I don't think OP understands the damage the son has done to her. And I don't think OP understands that what he did wasn't just horrible, but life changing. She cannot be herself around others who know anymore
Accept it, OP. She might get over it eventually, but forcing her won't do shit.
Yeah, despite being “understanding” the mom seems a lot more willing to blame the daughter for being upset over having her trauma exposed as a joke than to accept that the son needs to face the consequences for knowingly doing something horrible to her.
I agree that forcing daughter won't change things, but I also wouldn't be surprised if we aren't getting the full reality of the family dynamic.
@japes2398 yeah this is why I kind of think that story 2 is essentially the "psychopath golden child" but from the oblivious or irresponsible parent perspective.
He is sincere with being sorry though.
@lucid_tsb too little, too late
I was assulted when I was 16 by a family friends grandson. I chose to not tell my father because it would ruin a 60 year long relationship with my uncle and his best friend. When I was 18 I broke down and told my mother crying. I begged her to never EVER tell my father. Two weeks later my mom got mad at me and told my father so she could win an argument her and I were having. She is lucky I still talk to her, but I don't tell her secrets anymore.
To that point the son knew he was forbiden from talking about your daughters assult. Your son will likely never be forgiven, rightly so. She was assulted as a kid, and your son weaponized and violated her again to get edgelord points with his friends. Get used to having morning and evening holidays. One kid, has morning one has evening. They do not mix, and they do not mingle.
I'm sry bout the S/A but how tf did ur mother think that would hive her winning points also I agree with that until the son turns 18 and move out she might never her again
Oh my. What an absolute betrayal. How does she think permanently damaging your trust is worth it if itmeans she thinks she will "win" an argument... against her child..
Your mom gotta go
Damn... I'm sorry to hear that. I am glad you seem to be doing better now.
Story 2: I was in this situation but from the daughter's POV, and my choice was to permanently estrange that sibling. He had no respect for what had happened to me and couldn't even keep his story straight. He told people I lied, he told them everything that happened to me. Don't force her. He had absolutely no right sharing anything without her consent. It's been 13 months no contact with him since he moved out and I'm not forgiving him anytime soon. There's been other things but this was a huge factor for me especially because it affected the court case I had
if you don't mind me asking, regarding that sibling was that his first "offense"? I intend no disrespect, nor asking details. I am just curious if it was that specific thing by itself or if that was not only itself horrific but the cherry on top of a crap sundae of bad behavior pulled by said sibling? ETA: oops, I just reread you said "there's been other things..."
I have written before that I personally feel OP from story 2 is sanitizing the situation for her own benefit. Either she doesn't want to look bad or she is trying to convince herself that things weren't as bad as they were. Then this all blows up and she seems to be wondering why, when it's likely the daughter has been dealing with a lot from this sibling for a while now.
@@chickensandwich8808 Absolutely! OP might be minimizing internally what had happened to her child in order to cope, however it could also be other stuff that was not seen or heard by her. and to address the other piece yes there was a whole laundry list of things including stealing ~1k and vandalism as far as i was aware. also i did not see it as disrespect and you are absolutely chilling my dude
"We bullied a girl, but it's okay because everyone else thought it was funny! It's okay, though, because we're HR." Yoooo...tf she say? Really?! Seriously? Sensitivity training! Mandatory retraining of EVERYONE!
After the OP elaborated that the victim was a different race, it kinda immediately clicked that "Ohh this is an office of sexist and racist old white men isn't it?"
So yeah unfortunately OP probably couldn't do much, so them looking for a new job is probably their best bet.
I just HATE when people talk about sexuality being a "choice". Who the fuck wants to CHOOSE the risk of getting invalidated, mocked, harrased, assaulted, and/or killed just because of your identity, which doesn't hurt anyone else btw? Also most straight people seem to know who they're attracted to since they were children.. So let's just assume that Queer people know aswell or at least are aware of that they're different in some way, smh...
You know even it was a choice, is someone not allowed to make one that is different and not mainstream? My mom is homophobic and I'm bi... So officially I'm straight because I recognize how useless it is to come out to my Baby boomer mom. Thankfully I live far enough away from her.
I feel like continuing to talk about it as a "choice" is the key to OP's ongoing issue with her daughter here. Disagreeing with a choice? Sure, fine. Disagreeing (i.e. not approving of/respecting) with an important part of who you're child is? Much bigger issue. If OP could it was willing to see that is not a choice, it's a part of the person, maybe she could actually move towards fixing things. Instead, she's settled on "hate the sin, love the sinner" which is such utter bulls***.
Homophobic mom story: sexual orientation isn't a choice, and the "hate the sin, love the sinner," "I love and support you, I just don't agree with your choice (that you didn't choose and is actually a big part of who you are)" she's spouting even at the end is utter cow manure. For a minute it looked like maybe she saw where she went wrong and could try to fix things, but nope. Tragic.
The idea that sexuality is a choice is absurd. No one would willingly choose to face such negativity. Queer people have always known who they are, just like straight people. 🌟
Stop with the pity party. LGBT people are statistically safer than straight people in western civilization, and society bends over backwards to pander to them. They're a privileged class.
I was brought up Christian, but as much as my family was religious, we had a gay uncle on my father's side. No one snubbed him that I know of because family was more important. People need to realize that their beliefs do matter when it comes to other people's lives. My niece is a lesbian and she came out and I was like, and? I always told myself my kids would still be my kids no matter what. They have to live their lives for themselves in the end.
Not really there’s a big difference between support and love if I the columbine shoters mom supports them that’s not love that’s just lying to yourself
@@kaidenskibidiarc You compared what I said to that? That is different and a bad analogy.
A friend in high school was terrified to come out to me. Me being Catholic, he was afraid I would go off on him. He told our Baptist friend expecting her to be cool with it. It was the opposite. She WENT OFF on him. The whole burning in Hell speech. He didn't even tell me. 2 other "friends" cracked a joke about it and I asked for clarification. Then he told me he's gay. I said "ok." He was confused. I said "it's between u and God. Eric. We r both Catholic. U know we pray for everyone. I'm just gonna add on praying for u to live however God wants u to." He relaxed.
Then I learned what the Baptist girl said. My response was "we all risk burning in Hell. Including the Pope himself. That's why we r all supposed to do our best to live by God's laws. And remember, only He determines where u go when u die. And He knows everything. "
He and I weren't close because our personalities just didn't mesh well. I still run into him. He is doing very well. I'm proud of him.
I have a gay uncle also like what’s the issue??
to the mom who cast aside her lesbian daughter, and the commenters.. why is nobody pointing out that lesbian is NOT a choice. If I were a lesbian and my mom thought it was my "bad choice" I'd never speak to her again either.
Story 2. I understand the daughter. That poor girl. The son made this mostake multiple times and so its not a mistake its a choice
Yeah. Exactly. I also don't buy the way the OP is framing everything. I have a feeling the daughter has dealt with a lot from the brother and this was the final straw and she's going scorched earth even with her avenue of financial support.
the proliferation of the word 'choice' regarding ops daughters sexuallity is gross and very telling of the undercurrent artitude of what the daughter had to deal with. gross.
Kinda feel bad for everyone in story two
true, it is very complicated, like I guess the brother F up hard, but he is 14 , while he is responsible for what he did, like the mother said, continuous punishment is not the way either, and it seems like the parents have to choose either one of them
like I get how angry and disappointed she is, what she went through is not easy, but man, this next part I'm saying must purely come from inside of her or else she just gonna cut off everyone from her family, I know maybe it's impossible to forgive her brother, but maybe, I hope maybe she can like you know treat him like a guest or a friend of the parents for a start if possible, or if it is really not possible just ignore him but don't make it hard for her parents.
I mean I don't know the reality of how the family interaction is, like to be this bad permanently I'm kinda questioning if the family is kinda distant to each other from the very beginning.
@@artaizen1613 all I know is that the brother might have some sister issues when he is a adult
I feel like if she does this she's going to regret ghosting her whole family instead of coming to a compromise other than "if hes here I wont be here" as shes 18 and the boy is 14 so they can't just kick him out the house on holidays or send him somewhere where she can just drive somewhere or even move out if she wanted.
So I hope they can get her to have a conversation on what they can do to keep them in both in their lives or something so that she'll keep in contact with them at the very least.
Then if she doesn't want to do anything then all they can do is respect her wishes and just move on with raising the son to be a better person and get him help before he hurts himself.
Yeah, I hope time will help. After being away from her family, still going to therapy, and if OP doesn't insist on her forgiving her brother, maybe it'll get better. I think she needs to get away a little to heal from the betrayal and understand he was just being really stupid. It's still really fresh to her and she needs time
I'll be frank. While the daughter is within her rights to do what she is doing and definitely justified on being upset even for a long while, on the surface this just seems like an unhealthy coping mechanism.
What I mean by that is, I don't know the dynamics of the family, and it could be assumed that this is the last straw in a series of issues between daughter and son that we are not privy to. On that end, I do feel OP is perhaps not giving the full truth. My brother and I are polar opposites but we still get along well and even share some humorous banter. We just don't go out of our way for each other unless it's family related or dire. No ill will, just we were never that close, and this is because he is 13 years my senior. On the other hand the only time I personally have seen siblings do what this daughter is doing is when there is a pattern of conflict. This is why I don't really trust OP's claim they always just left each other alone. But I'm inly one person, so take my anecdotes with a grain of salt.
Taking this at face value though, the daughter's actions would be nuclear at the first go. Yes the son was stupid and trying to be edgy. Bit he is also 14. If I were OP I would not push the issue of reconciliation, but I would remind her that he is 14, and even if for the sake of argument they didn't invite him to family gatherings, he would still be under their care for another 3 or 4 years. So her request isn't realistic. And putting him up in another house is also unrealistic because then SHE is forcing her parents to choose between children, and that is an asshole move at face value. She doesn't have to forgive her brother yet, but she needs to understand that he isn't her abuser. He is an idiot, but not her abuser. Going scorched earth for every resolution isn't healthy because it just causes you to be isolated and likely wondering why you can't trust people. When it's you, that's caused that issue. People get wind of your reputation and likely would walk on eggshells around you and then stop inviting you to places and gatherings. In short, what she is doing to her brother on the face of it, would be considered abusive ib it's own right. And just because she was abused does not give her the right to do that.
Most people are not this extreme even with the trauma of abuse or other. That is why I feel OP isn't giving all the info and it makes me cautious to beleive her framing. She might likely believe that because they didn't get along that it's a failure on her part so by softening that aspect of her story to merely "they were never close but were civil" is almost self soothing for her. But I don't know. It's only a theory.
Honestly the daughter in the "my daughter cut me off" story is the one who disowned the mom. Yes, the mom dropped the ball on supporting her daughter initially, but the relationship ended on the daughter's terms. The daughter chose to cut contact and not invite her mother to the wedding. But then she goes and plays the victim, complaining about "why can't my mother be at my wedding to support me?" She has every right to make that decision, but she should not pretend it's her mother's. She should stand by it proudly if that's her stance, not blame someone else and act offended that ir happened.
HR lady dropped the ball.
Congrats on being a bullying AH
What could she do? Her boss was in favor of the costume.
@@mwalton9526 so she did nothing. Her boss has a boss. But she chose to do nothing.
Hmmm, where have i heard that excuse before......
@@ryangooseling When ever you go over your boss's head you run the risk of losing your job, and you are never required to put yourself in financial difficulty to save someone else, unless you caused the problem to begin with.
@@ryangooseling Also if you listen to the story you'll find OP is male.
@@mwalton9526you take it higher. I've been in a similar situation and you know what my redirect boss did? she took it higher than her boss knowing he was on on the joking and harassment and possibly would get backlash. you know what happened to her boss and the ah colleague? they were both fired.
being in HR is most a cop look out for the company position. but also. being a bully like that in he can cause some MASSIVE litigious liability as well.
op sucks and is not leadership matters. they don't have the grit
story 2: good on her. also good god the WHINNING of OP about forgiveness is so fricken uncomfortable
To the mom whose daughter won't forgive her. It is time to focus on yourself. Ignore the comments that bash your religion because you shouldn't have to invalidate something important to you in order to validate your daughter. If she has no forgiveness in her, then that is a "her" problem. You continue to love her, but focus on fighting the new enemy in your life.
I didn't expect to get some great financial advice from a redit video lol
It's not unheard of that brothers and sisters aren't close to each other growing up. I was in that situation myself and apart from wishing each other Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas, we don't really speak to each other. We were just never that close. The son can be sorry as he wants, but it doesn't negate what he did. He will just have to live with the consequences of his actions. It's a good life lesson for him to keep his little trap shut about sensitive things that no one needs to know about. Especially if you tell it to people who you know will probably tell others.
If I was the mother of the second story, I would have a talk with my daughter's best friend's parents to see if she could live with them for the remainder of the time. The daughter needs space.
"I Love you still, I just don't love you enough to be loyal" Why is that ALWAYS A cheaters excuse.
S3 is terrible... Personally if someone in my team would do that, I'll take that person in my office and ask how dumb they think I am. I wouldn't care if my manager would approve. This is a d** and disrespectful way. Figures they're HR, those are the worse because they feel above everyone else... No consequences of course... AH
I wonder if the husband is counting on OP to be what allows him to take in the kid. Be stable enough for CPS to allow it.
I wanna narrate for you guys, these videos make work waaaaay less boring
Codm to think of it I haven’t heard the other one on this channel in a bit
give the girl some freaking time, my god. she has to cokpletely reprocess now and no amount of begging or groveling or demanding or crying or rueing the day will change the reopening of that wound- which prob wasnt ever gonna c o m p l e t e l y heal anyway.
git gud, edgelord. suffering is metal. yall are both young enough she might be able to look at you again if mom gets out of her face about it for a while, but no intention is good enough to unsalt that injury. be better, let her freaking breathe, and hope.
Right?! Mom is more concerned about baby boy's hurt feelings than a reopened trauma and how exposed, guilty, and ashamed her daughter must be feeling, and that's effed up. He feels bad because his actions now have real consequences and he looks bad. Newsflash! He was, and he needs to sit with that. If savings can go toward jewelry, they can go towards therapy. I feel so bad for that girl. Glad she could turn to her bff's family for support.
What are you even talking about she keep saying she isn’t forcing anyone to forgive him he daughter is throwing a tantrum like a little kid because she doesn’t want he 14 year old brother in the house she is tell them it her or him tf you want them to throw out a kid and second having trauma is a big deal and having the trust she had broken is hard but making her parents the bad guy won’t help with shit and give her time ok fine but her but she is acting childish
I understand distancing from the son, but distancing the parents too is a little too much because the kid is only 14 and shes 18 they can't just disown him just so that she that she will Atleast talk to her own parent or parents. Shes not wrong for hating him, but theres a better way about going about it.
I hope they got to some compromise of some sort though
That's why high school friends never last
I get that the son in story 2 is still a child, but he should still be old enough to understand what he did was unacceptable and I completely get that the daughter won't forgive him.
Costume story: Tbh I'd leave that shitshow
The wife in that last story is such an airhead
Being. Gay. Is. Not. A. Choice.
33:23 This is not a choice, bruh...
YES! The fact that she kept calling it a "choice" told me more than her other words did. It really sounds like there's much more to the story than what OP revealed. We're only getting OP's point of view and it doesn't explain why her daughter reacted the way she did.
Oh definitely the tip of that iceberg! She's leaving out so much that through the first sentence she didn't even say why! Oh my daughter is upset and calling me a monster because I made one teensy tiny mistake. She whispers: (I invalidated her life and love over religion) But she hurt me and that's what matters!
Plus, you know what the Bible says about homosexuality? Abso-freaking-lutely NOTHING. Just a bunch of bigots teaching others to keep being bigots over a book written thousands of years ago modified heavily by different kings, and translated...who knows how well. Like, that is your source material?
Using the wrong words doesn’t mean OP didn’t change or want to change. Another story was like this and that OP apologized when someone corrected them on it. Also daughter is calling her a monster to other people online. No one was making the daughter do that. Just because she’s gay doesn’t give her a pass. Also the last commenter needs therapy
@@RedK5 no, but the insistence on saying "choice" belies a more insidious undertone. Being gay isn't a choice, it's a part of who her daughter is. Is it the only thing? no, but in a setting where most if not her whole family are hostile to her very existence because they don't know about it, she is going to reasonably be hyper vigilant. The OP constantly referring to her daughters sexuality as a choice is essentially invalidating her existence.
The way the wife talks about the husband in story 6 feels abusive. I can understand that the husband is Not Exactly The Sharpest Tool In The Box but on the other hand ma'am the way you talk about him makes me feel like you should divorce him
Comment about the lesbian daughter and mother. First I will say I am Catholic and while yes, majority of Catholics do not agree or support gay marriage or anything in that category, I do. Like I said I am Catholic but I am one of these crazy Catholics that believe God does not make mistakes and HE made us in His image (what we are taught from day one) and made us how He wants us. That mother talks of unconditional love and I don't think she knows the meaning. Unconditional love would have said to her daughter the day she came out that she loves her and is there for her no matter what. Unconditional love is putting her ego and her judgments aside for her daughter. I would never dream of telling my daughter that she can't be herself around me while also saying I unconditionally left you but I don't want to see the part of you that I don't agree with. That's just not love. I also think it's pretty convenient that now she wants to be there for her daughter now that it's on Facebook and she's being shamed publicly for it. Sounds like she doesn't like the fact that people know that she disowned her daughter. Again, her ego is bruised and she wants to fix it. And" be there there" for her daughter. No, she just doesn't want to look bad in front of others and wants to fix that.
I never understood why any parent would involve themselves in their child's intimate life. Beyond being loved and happy and safe, idgaf if they love a guy or a chick or a frigging farm animal 🤮
What really got me about the Catholic mom is how she said she'd had a 'crisis of faith' and left the Church, & spoke about how the Church had poisoned her - and in the next post she's right back in the Church & saying how she won't give up her faith or beliefs. Did she flipflop? Or was she lying? She doesn't want to do any of the actual work necessary to reconnect & thinks saying she's sorry & how she can 'love her daughter but disagree with her choice of lifestyle' should be enough & her daughter needs to stop showing her up online & just forgive her already. She's effectively demanding her daughter stops making a fuss & stops forcing her to face the consequences of her own actions.
In other words you are a rational and empathetic human being who actually follows the teaching of Jesus where he bade human being not to judge others as that is the purview of God? Good, i am glad to see more of this.
@@gemcorker3982 she's a bigot and the way her denomination teaches justifies those prejudices and keeps her from dealing with her own cognitive dissonance. It sucks because it's bot purely a religion thing but religion is definitely the largest institutional perpetrator of such prejudices.
ETA: I know the questions were rhetorical, I just vented cause I can't stand the kind of hypocrisy the mom is engaging in.
Story 2: so i understand that it was a serious situation, no arguing that. What i dont understand is why the daughter is playing us vs them on her parents when its their teenage son on the line, he gets no excuse from me, but what else was op supposed to do other than ground him and give him shit along with therapy? I just dont know what else they couldve done. Had op sided with their son and downplayed the daughters situation i could totally understand, but thats not what happened. Also hes a teenager, im not surprised he was a little asshole like that, i may not have been one but lets be real, teenagers have been assholes since forever and probably always will be, he learnt his lesson the best he could for now and a day will come when proper reconciliation can occur. What the daughter needs to understand is that her doing this is completely unhelpful to her and her relationship with her parents, i just hope for her sake that she figures that out and goes to the therapy op offered
I was wondering why it was all exploding too. I think it's because the daughter's darkest trauma got spread around and it sounds like the son probably played it off as "not a big deal". I know I would be super hurt if my darkest traumas were spread around and joked about.
The parents probably didn't support daughter (the current victim) enough and OP keeps calling what the son did as a "mistake". It was a mistake but it was also SOOO much worse.
This is probably why the daughter got upset again when they gave the son his privileges back; The punishment didn't fit the crime in her eyes.
I think only time will heal this wound. If daughter ever sees that the son's matured enough, then she may consider forgiving him.
He's 14 so I can imagine how immature he still is. It's probably going to be a very long road.
She's also at fault a little too, she has to realize that he's only 14 and 14 yr old boys are idiots. I'm not blaming the victim, I'm just saying that she has to keep in mind that her current attacker is literally a child.
@peterkn2 ya, see he at least got punished for 2 months, that's the low end estimation I've seen float around. Not sure what more could be done there you know? You are right tho that time is a good tool but it would honestly be in the daughters best interest to go to therapy like op offered and express how she feels in a setting where someone can put the situation in frame for all sides
I honestly just feel bad for everyone in the situation. OP’s daughter did NOT deserve that. I’d just like to say that I’m younger than OP’s son (I know people mature at different rates) and would never do something as horrific as telling my friends about my sister’s trauma so that I could seem more “edgy”. OP’s daughter just seems to feel like she’s been betrayed completely by her brother because now everyone knows about her trauma, especially since the trauma was SA. If OP pushes it with her daughter and tries to argue, “But your brother’s still a kid!”, then she’s totally in the wrong. OP’s daughter was still a child (17) when her trauma got spread around. In fact, she’s still a teen and not completely mentally developed. Hopefully, there will one day be reconciliation, but if that day never comes, they’ll have to suck it up and accept that they can’t force her to forgive her brother because he did a terrible thing. I just feel no one just blame OP’s daughter in the slightest lol.
@@brenscott5416Yeah, but OP’s daughter is/was already having individual therapy and her therapist encouraged OP’s daughter’s own mental health, which is good, and didn’t tell her to prioritize her familial connections. If the daughter doesn’t want to reconcile with her brother, it’s her decision IMO. Family therapy can’t fix everything, but I get your point. Good points.
@Ilovebooks31111 oh I was more on with her being in therapy with her parents. She should eventually realize her brother was just a kid being a dickhead who learnt his lesson eventually, but her cutting off her parents is extremely unhealthy for her given that her patents are on her side
S2 is horrible, sad and very upsetting, but the brother really messed up by revealing personal awful things to his friends.. about an awful thing that happened to HIS SISTER.. just to appear edgy to his friends.. especially a personal thing... As awful as it is for a parent.. the brother has to live with his actions.. as fucked as it is.. he made his choice... There isn't much he can do except wait for the sister.. and she may never choose to do so... It sucks though...
that bullying in the workplace incident was definitely ongoing. nobody packs up their entire life behind a single mean joke
Nice plug in story 3
47:27 this part just pissed me off completely because there's a difference between Christians and Catholics all my grandparents are/have been Christian my grandparents on my dad's side aren't anymore but my grandparents on my moms side have been Christians for as long as i can remember and they're accepting to LGBTQ+ people i came out to my Christian grandma before i came out to my parents (my parents aren't homophobic i was just scared) and what makes me mad is people say that Christians and Catholics are the same when all Catholics think they're better than people and it's rare that a Christian will think they're better than anyone else because most Christians think all people are equal i just feel like i needed to address that stereotype because it's hurtful when people say that when my grandparents are the best people ever especially on my moms side they're forgiving of a lot of things and trust people in moments most non-religious people wouldn't and in Galatians 3:26-29 - 28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. and i just want to say I'm not religious though i want to be but I'm a little scared because my dad isn't the most accepting person which is why i came out to my grandma first then my mother than everyone else i just had to say that because it made me really mad they said that to the point i kinda wanted to cry lol because like i said my grandma is the best person you could ever meet in your entire life so can we please stop saying that stereotypical stuff because saying that is like saying all white people are racist which is definitely not true
It's interesting how those who always preach acceptance seem the most hateful I see it from both sides. Because a lot of those reddit comments were attacking both her and her religion acting like all Christians are the same and spitting in her face for even trying to be better. As for how I understand being gay and the church, We are all sinners in some capacity and we will all be judged for our sin. I also understand that there is some debate due to the wording in the bible as too if they mean being gay or something else. However what is most clear is, It is for God to judge our sins not for us so if being gay is or isn't a sin it doesn't matter just love and be kind and treat them as you would anyone else. And if God thinks it's wrong for me too believe that then I guess I'll see some of yall in hell XD
The problem is, there are a lot of people within Christianity who don't hold the toxic aspects of judging others to account. There is a lot of telling people what Jesus would do, but not a lot of following what he says. This makes it hard to take those who profess to follow a religion for it's righteousness or whatever, seriously. It is intolerance, but it's not intolerance of religion, as there are people of abrahamic religions that are actually very accepting and open about that. ITs about being intolerant to intolerance. If someone is going to be hostile to the very existence of someone who is just trying to live their life, and their "religion" is being twisted to account for and justify them being hostile... there is no reasonable expectation to be tolerant of that.
2nd story:
I understand that the daughter had a very difficult situation in her life.
At the same time, her brother made a very stupid and crucial mistake, but he was 14 years old.
Sure the daughter might take time or even years to forgive him.
And if she doesnt want to forgive him then its her choice.
She should also understand that her current actions may have severe consequences in the future.
She is an adult, life is not fair and very difficult at times.
But if this continues, the son might hurt himself in a very bad way to atone for his mistake.
Hopeful that doesn't happen.
I do hope things become better in the future for all of them.
This is a japan movie he knows what S/A and what he was doing like the story said I do hope he doesn't do the imma hurt myself to try to either understand or try to give the sister to come to the hospital and try to reconcile.
Honestly in the story of the mom and lesbian daughter, the daughter feels like the bigger asshole. Whether or not you think she's doing a good job, the mother is at least trying to prove that she still loves her daughter. The daughter on the other hand seems to just be sitting there festering in her hate and spite.
To be fair, the dad wasn’t homophobic. I think he was actually very responsible about it. He told her he would love her despite not agreeing. That’s not homophobic. That’s being a good parent and loving unconditionally. I also feel as if the other thing he said is being treated like hate speech. Should he have explained
It better? Yes, but saying not to flaunt her relationship around internet of his traditional catholic family isn’t being homophobic. I don’t have a problem with the LGBTQ+ community either. Do I agree with it? Yes and no. Love who you love. But if you’re gonna be offended by what he said then, grow up. You can’t be a full adult and get offended by the father being honest.
No, both you and the dad are homophobic.
"Oh I love you, just not a immutable aspect of you", is such a cope out. Imagine saying similar about someone's skin color, only other racists would think you're not racist for saying that. A person's sexuality won't change, and will never change.
"Saying not to flaunt her relationship around internet", is being homophobic. He would NEVER say this about a straight couple, he wouldn't even register in his brain if someone on his facebook feed was flaunting their relationship online if they happened to be straight.
Sure, she is under no obligation to forgive her brother. However, she is punishing her parents, who were not the one to tell others about the situation.
So... i am wary to believe OPs framing in Story two. Either we aren't getting an accurate history of the family dynamics, and OP is not telling the full interaction for why her daughter would go this level of scorched earth with her whole family, or her daughter is herself toxic af. What i mean by that is, it sucks the daughter was abused and she is within her rights to be angry at 18, she's allowed to do what she wants, however, her actions at face value are themselves abusive. And as such while it sucks to lose a daughter, its also healthier because she clearly needs more help and time to process things. She may cone around and she may not. It sucks because I know that it's painful but at the end of the day you have to do what's best for your family, and her actions were stressing everyone out. She gets my sympathies for being a victim of abuse, but that doesn't give her leave to be abusive herself.
The caveat here, is that I personally don't buy into OPs framing of their family dynamic. The actions the daughter takes makes way more sense if you find out that she isn't the "golden child" and because she also isn't the baby she doesn't have the same leeway with her parents the brother does. The level of flippantly talking about your sisters abuse that she's stating is... REALLY crappy. And while yes he is 14, that is young enough to be stupid, but old enough to know better. The thing is if he has the balls to do that it didn't just come out of nowhere. So I wouldn't be surprised if what we are seeing is a glossed over framing of the dynamic between her children where the daughter tolerated the brother for as long as she had to but was more than willing to leave when she was of age. The "edginess" crap her brother pulled regarding her actual abuse was just the last straw, and her parents trying to force this idea of reconciliation amidst a history of torment makes the actions she is taking much more reasonable. Hell there are reddit stories that talk about that golden child dynamic and how around the parents the golden child is an angel but is actually a devil in disguise. I can verify this and honestly its just a gut feeling, so take it with a grain of salt, but I just don't see any reasonable person going full scorched earth like this without some history.
For the second one, the son popped off trying to be edgey and cool for his friends and exposed his sister's darkest secret to the WHOLE SCHOOL, and believe me that she was bullied for it, but the mom is worried about her sweet little boy having his feelings hurt by the consequences of his own actions? No, daughter doesn't owe that family crap! She's getting treatment and mom is complaining about how much money it's costing?! FR? Sell the son's game console, have him mow neighbors lawns, get a job working fast food on the weekends! There's so much more that could be done! She clearly favors the son, and daughter has every right to never speak to either of them again! She can if she wants, but you can't control someone's feelings or direct their healing because they came out of your body. Don't force it. Let him understand that actions have life altering consequences, and that what we say can never truly be taken back. He "dipped into his savings" to get her a necklace? Why didn't he dip into his savings to pay for therapy? A trinket is at best a bandaid and at worst could widen the gap between them. He feels bad, but in a reactionary way, because it affects him negatively. He's trying to soothe his guilt with petty objects instead of going to therapy to understand how he messed up and how to be a better person going forward. Affordable therapy is out there. That mom is more concerned about her baby boy's hurt ego than her daughter's trauma and widespread exposure. SA, especially in childhood, is so traumatic and carries lifelong guilt and shame, and the son exposed her to all of her friends and peers? She could go scorched earth and be totally valid. I wish her the best in her future without those selfish and toxic people. BFFs family are the unsung heroes for taking her in and giving her a place to be/go where she won't have to be pressed every minute to forgive her brother and his hurt feelings.
I'm the family scapegoat. I know what's up. I was estranged from my sister for two years (as grown-@ss adults, no less) because I called out her ableist and exclusionary behavior towards our dad and myself. Yes, for pointing out her bad behavior I was punished. Nothing done about her bad behavior tho. It took a death scare from Dad to bring her back to bare minimum in our lives. My family likes to pretend their sh*t don't stink and point out mine as the problem, but at least I flush. 😤 Affordable therapy is out there and available to everyone. I'm the only family member that has ever stuck with it. Funny that...and yet I'm the problem. Hmmm... (where's the Nick Cage meme when you need it, lol) Make it make sense.
To answer your rhetorical question: yes - you are, in fact, the problem. 🙄
For calling out her sh*tty behavior of disabled people specifically because they are disabled? Yeah, no, that checks out. I should've said, "Thank you ma'am, may I please have another!" 😂
Also, that's the tip of the iceberg of the treatment of us. My psychiatrist and therapist, who call me on my bullsh*t and have been treating me more of my life than not at this point, were both glad I finally stood up for myself.
Thanks for your judgment kind stranger! ❤
story 2 is just heartbreaking.
I feel bad for both siblings. But tbh I don’t think cutting off someone for being a stupid 14 year old is warranted. I understand not speaking for awhile, but literally having him be dead to her? Idk it just fees too far for me
story 2:
the daughter is a lost cause. she never started to heal, she just pushed it down and it boiled over. i guess she now uses her brother as scapegoat. what he did is bad, but he is a child and maybe just maybe he has problemes with what happend to her as well. there is some build up resentment against her from his site as well and i think he coudn't talk about that at home because this was something everyone walked around on egg shells. op will loose both children. she already lost her daughter a long time ago and now she pushes her son out with force as well.
if someone doesn't want help then you can push as much therapy on that person as you'd like... it doesn't help. and seeing that she didn't even took her earpulgs out in therapy basicly tells the complete story by it self.
please for the sanity of your family just push her away and moan her death.
start therapy for your son.
she does not want help, she does not want to heal. she will always find a new scapegoat to push her resentment and anger upon.
and no i don't downplay what happend to her. can't imagine how soul crushing s.a. must be for a child. how deep that cut.
but you are downplaying it.
she lost the test she got this is sad
for story 5 idk what those 🏳🌈 ppl are talking about just because you are Christian doesn't make you hate gay people, nor does it mean we can't change some people will hate some wont don't group everyone in. I personally don't care what you do in your personal life or what gender you like I'm Christian, but it isn't my business what you do or to say God dislikes you I believe he loves us all and you all have your own relationships with him or whoever you worship. but I think op did what they can it's the daughter's choice to stay no contact but the posts about how she was disowned when she messaged the mom don't text me did seem like she was after attention.... but anyways just saying don't group everyone in because you had a bad experience 😊
0:58
She’s not sorry
What's the background game?
Superflight
The lesbian daughter story feels like either the mom is missing out on a major something she did... but then if thats not true it sounds like the daughter is one of those 'my way or the highway' people who cuts people out of their lives at the merest _hint_ of disagreement. Like how she stopped talking with the sisters because of the 'proximity' to the mother. Thats fucking weird behaviour
You did this on her.
The daughter in story 2 sounds like she was coddled after the abuse too much the brother is innocent other than talking to friends about the abuse she faced and the counselor is supposed to tell parents otherwise they can get fired for not telling the parents
The story of the lesbian child...
Honestly, the daughter is the issue here. She's a horrible person, period.
To the mother who didn't want anything to do with your daughter's wife, because the bible is against gayness. The original scripture of the bible, which has been translated and translated over 2000 years and some words weren't translated directly, says "man shall not lie with boy" which can be interpreted that an adult shouldn't share a bed with a child
It aggravates me when people try to push their homosexual beliefs at other people (especially when they know the other person doesn't believe it's moral) and get upset when they don't want to support that part of their life.
I just recently lost a friend due to this. They were born male and decided they wanted to be a woman at the age of 20. A couple months later, I proposed to my fiance and gave him an invite. We made it clear to him that since he hasn't gone through any surgery or treatment, he was to wear gender neutral or male clothes. He sent my fiance and I messaged about how bad we are and how he feels so betrayed. When he told me he was trans a few months before this conversation, I told him that I will still support him as a person, but I can't support that part of his life due to my beliefs and he seemed pretty chill about it. Luckily it didn't cause family drama or anything, so it all turned out okay.
Her* and the mother is in the wrong and the daughter had every right to be mad, the mother told her not to bring the family to her relationship so she didn’t, you need realize that it’s just a belief or a choice, no Jen chooses to be harassed or killed over someone they love
And also yes you and your friend are find but that doesn’t work with the mother and daughter situation, the the daughter wasn’t forcing but was hurt by what the mom said which she had every right to be. You didn’t tell your friend that you support them but don’t bring it to the friend group or say to not bring it to the wedding, you actually did a respectfuly but the mother didn’t
For the mother who told her daughters she didn't respect her choice unconditional love has no conditions your words are falsehood from the beginning. Until your daughter's wife is part of your family and accepted there is no hope of you ever getting your daughter to forgive you forgiving you may not be in your best interests as of now and what you've done is like saying I'm sorry you feel like you deserve an apology😢 and that is sad you're only doing this for yourself😢plZ if you cannot accept who your how can you claim to love her and really do any and really do any of us have a choice who we love so don't sorry be careful
Daughter sucks anyway. I would just move on. Find myself a new gay daughter and accept her
So in story 2, OP didn't actually punish her kid for talking about trauma he KNEW wasn't okay to talk about, then wonders why her daughter won't talk to them. She'll probably some years down the line ask why her kid never comes home again
That dude is a TEENAGER and throws a crying fit because he got consequences to his actions
OP 3 is so dumb "I can't do anything" YES YOU CAN. FORWARD HER REPORT TO HR! OP made her leave because she was harassed by her coworkers!
Edit: So HR is a bunch of bullies who retaliate and create a hostile work environment? Seems like a lawsuit is coming
she punished him by taking his electronics and stopping his contact with friends at least up until the first post. he regained those privileges sometime between the original post and the update. so for at least two months he was punished.
@@heyyitsjanea Two months of electronics taken and not visiting friends isn't an actual punishment for saying stuff about trauma. That didn't do crap clearly, because he threw a hissy fit over not being able to abuse her anymore
What punishment would work in your opinion?@@lovelysakurapetalsyt
First off, HR is NOT for the benefit of the employee - their sole purpose is to protect corporate reputation. They are NOT your friends.
@@lovelysakurapetalsyt the son didn't "throw a hissy fit" - what part of DEEP DEPRESSION and SELF LOATHING entails "throwing a hissy fit"? Get a grip.
Yes I have
Her brother is a kid cut him a break
That lesbian is loving the attention she gets from her ‘woe is me’ social media posts.
Exactly. Why do OP even want the daughter back? Get a new gay daughter. Treat her great and watch OG daughter get jealous and post to social media
story 3: middle school attention-seeking behavior lol
hope the girl who was made fun of has a better job around better people now
Why do some gay people assume that all us Cristian’s are evil vile creatures. I’m Cristian and as long as you don’t attempt to inflict your lgbtq beliefs then I believe we can be goood friends
Because majority Christian’s are, not saying all but the amount of videos of people being Christian are spewing hate towards gay people for no reason,
And or are harassing them
What do you mean by "inflict your lgbtq beliefs"? Explain it in great detail. I'm sure you totally won't expose yourself as vile at all.
The internet seems to have convinced kids that they can just threaten no-contact over anything and everything. It's so common in stories nowadays. The son is a dick, but I'm sure the daughter learned this bs from Tumblr or Twitter and now she'll be another isolated young woman who pushed her family away.
Going no contact has always been an option and a warning to unsupportive families, pre and post internet. Usually therapy is a first step, but sometimes it does not work.
She had every right to, she’s till young yes but HE messed up big time. You don’t do that to your sister when I was 14 I knew better
Isolated? Because people outside her family don't exist now?
She's not isolated, she still obviously has friends and people she can lean on. She just seemed to have moved on from people who she doesn't feel she can count on anymore.
Story 5. Hate religious bigots. Supernatural ideas are not an excuse for hating others on the basis of identity ie sex, race, ethnicity, etc. Have too many two-faced religious types in my life that preach love and spew hate
Well people hate people like you who call everyone bigots shut the hell up with all that bs
To the lady who refused to take care of an affair baby. I understand you feel betrayed and I understand not wanting to be financially responsible for your husband's mistakes. I hope you dont speak like this to the child's face. It's not the child's fault for being born.
The lesbian daughter is no better than her mom. Where is her understanding and acceptance? Why is only one party obligated to accept and understand. She knew her mother was a religious person and what her reaction would be. They could have made a compromise.
absolutely... how dare she not be accepting to a family that likely is passive aggressive and constantly invalidate her existence by saying her sexuality is a "choice." She should suck it up and just let them walk all over her.
But seriously. Her situation is at least a little more relatable, because she is in the middle of a wolf den. While not all Christians are anti LGBTQ+ if someone is Christian it's not unreasonable to assume where their stance on such things is. If that is proven wrong, then fantastic! However, because of the more insidious aspects of trying to cope, small things stand out that show they are not as accepting as they claim to be. Part of that is the whole "choice" reference. Anyone that actually listens to people from the LGBTQ+ community will know that it isn't a choice, it's who they are, anymore than being a given race is a choice, or being neurodivergent is a choice. And to be fair, maybe it's just her being ignorant, but that's ignorance over a span of time where OP has probably been told more than once that it's not a choice.
The daughter most likely would have, but not only did op say she didn’t accept she said don’t bring it to the family, with out know if the family is gunna care or not, love will never be enough if you DONT show it
What compromise? She just turn off her lesbianism and hide her wife in the closet whenever her mother comes over for a visit? Also what would be the compromise on the mother's part? Being around the gays?
Now I don't know your love life obviously, but what would you do if you married a black man and your parents were racists? They think interracial marriages are an affront to God, so how would you find a compromise? Why would it be fair to hide away part of your life, the love of your life, because other people had a problem with it?
I recommend reading up on the Paradox of Tolerance, it does a good job at explaining why you must be intolerant towards intolerance to preserve tolerance.
Hello
Dude all of y'all don't be sorry be careful
The daughter is the villain IMO, or at least the jerk. She was actively insulting the mother who did nothing but try to learn from what u believe was while a little rude, not a horrible thing to say. The daughter played the victim while not allowing the mother to reconcile. Then one instance of rudeness culminates in her not even wanting to support her dying mother? Is no one gonna mention that?
I think it's important to remember that this is all told from the mothers perspective, and even if it's only on a subconscious level, people tend to paint themselves in the best light they can. Each post was pretty sparse with details overall, and seemed somewhat inconsistent with her exact views and interactions with her daughter. I can only imagine what she is leaving out.
Earlllyyyyyyy
I mean what I have learned from the Bible, is Adam came first then from Adam *God* created Eve from Adams rib, am I right or am I wrong?
Edit: if you think I’m wrong, please don’t hesitate to write me a message 😁😁
Okay
As someone who has been through family s.a
Story two
She is kinda being a bitch
Like i get it
He broke her trust and he is yhe asshoel
But he was trying to make it uo and was punished for it
Op was trying their best and she shut them out to
Not saying she is a total asshoel
But she is clearly in pain about it and is lashing out
WDYM lashing out? If someone, a family member decides to expose your deepest trauma in a flippant mocking way, are you supposed to be stoic and bear it? He talked about it to his friends several times and so callously. The daughter is allowed to not want a relationship with that brother. He was 14, she was 17. She isn't an adult who should grin and bear it and even if she was an adult, no one is allowed to mock anyone's trauma. Let it be a lesson to the boy about consequences. Maybe in future, he will be more considerate to others. OP should let go of trying to fix their relationship, if it happens, it happens.
You also need to think about why you call a child abuse victim who was bullied by all her peers thanks to the actions of her brother, 'kind of a bitch'.
@@Azulakayes I'm giving my opinion as a child of the same abuse. She is clearly doing a type of lashing out and no one is helping or taking her seriously.
I get it. The brother is an asshole but he is 14 as was trying to make it right. She doesn't have to forgive him but at least be sivel with him. She threw away the gift he bought her. And the way she is acting towards her father is also a type of way of lashing out.
Yes op needs to step back but she disinved her to her graduation, thats a big deal over him gently asking her to talk to her brother. Then she left
so either she is acting out
or op is a lair in some way
I've been down this road before
and i dont remeber op saying she was bullied about it. Most kids these days wouldnt.
@@BunnyEcho1 The whole school was talking about her and bullying her for it. Did you skip part of the story?
@@Azulakayes I don't remember that part
And you know what. It would have gotten out anyway because you half to tell the school and the office people to make sure the abuser doesn't come back
@@BunnyEcho1 We don't know if the rapist went to that school, if not then there was no reason for any student at the school knowing. If you didn't pick up on the most basic facts of the story maybe you should rewatch it but pay attention this time.
The story about the catholic mother being estranged by her lesbo daughter shows how messed up the world is atm, calling Christians out for not accepting gays, even though gays are slaughtered in Islamic culture. The mother is wrong, for trying to get back with her daughter when her daughter left. Just give it up, it's just a lost sheep that refuses help. Being called back over and over just pushes the dumb sheep away, the mother should have accepted the separation and moved on, but she got stuck and now she's a lost sheep too. Pathetic, putting a broken relationship above all else.
Yup
"calling Christians out for not accepting gays, even though gays are slaughtered in Islamic culture." what does this pivot have to do with anything? Christians can be called out for it as well as Islamic people as well. In fact they are. I'm just not sure what you are trying to say here aside from "why are we being punished when these people over here are worse!"
I say for story 2 she should tell her she will feel guilt if her brother actually dies due to her words
I know this sounds rude but if my kids say that I be like "ok since your brother is dead to you don't feel pain and sorrow if he does die from your words"
@@cubbybonez1133yeah no. That is disgustingly manipulative and doesnt even mean that any action done by the sister towaed the brother from then on will be genuine, worst still, youre completely ignoring the fact that the girl is already traumatised, for her parents to then do that to her would severe any desire to keep the relationship at all and further enforce in daughter's mind that her family are so sick and twisted theyd resort to manipulation to get their way. All in all your suggestion is piss poor and not thought through at all lol
@@cubbybonez1133what is wrong with you
Add dude needs a lot of skill building activity he is not ready to be a parent but it's none of your business cut it loose he doesn't need your help he needs to get better on his own and you're just going to make it so he doesn't try. He he to get DBT counseling and build skills and it won't help if you're there he needs to do this on his own
gay daughters story op does not learn
edit: she learned but dang
2nd edit: that last commenter needs therapy jesus
Yes, Christians don’t change? I’ve heard and seen many who do. That commenter made me angry
I hate the way many commenters and even the daughter acted. Everyone’s gonna pelt the mother with insults when she said ‘I don’t agree but love you’. Everyone talking about accepting her, is wanting to be at the wedding for the daughter and her wife not accepting? Second, are we going to ignore the daughter’s attempts to hurt the image of the mother, just because she acted spineless and got offended? The mother was likely earning her that the family didn’t feel the same, and wouldn’t live her anymore. But no, let’s not saying anything to the daughter for insulting and hurting the mother, let’s insult and insult the straight mother for being honest and loving conditionally.
@@AncientAlienTheorist-yl8cz exactly
@@AncientAlienTheorist-yl8czthe way they talked down to her was the most disgusting part to me, acting like they know “unconditional love”. People are allowed to love each other and disagree on something, they need to get off their high horse
The daughter is a professional victim. Also, people who judge Christians, Muslims, etc, based on their religion are no better than those who judge people based on their sexuality. Both are abhorrent and both are hypocrites.
So, the second story, the daughter needs to calm the hell down and get her panties untwisted. Yeah he shouldn't have talked about it, but that's no reason to completely cut him out of her life, and giving her family an ultimatum.
Yes it is. If someone tells you they were raped and doesn't give you permission to tell other people and you do anyway, expect them to never talk to you again.
@@mwalton9526no it doesn’t she is being an ass about it and get a real check no one gives a shit your private life why do people act like what people say or think in high school matter it really doesn’t and it’s stupid shit like that. That piss me off and don’t give me that shit I don’t know how it feels I do I’ve been through a lot but I know damn well that if you do stupid shit like it only makes life worse
@@tofluffybunny6780none of what you said changes a damn thing lol. Youre essentially attempting to invalidate the girl because of your own experience. Thats sad man, real sad
@@emanx222 I really don't care 🫡
@@tofluffybunny6780 it's clear you don't 🤣