Story 1: "I apologize for reacting so loudly to the way you continually flung yourself at my husband, which he did not appreciate, at your sister's wedding. I am sorry that both me and my husband took exception to your adolescent and selfish behavior that day and on the days after. And I apologize in advance for the coming protective order as it will undoubtedly frustrate your plans to stalk my husband." There. Public apology completed.
Nope. I mean it's a good twist on am apology, but also, let's normalize NOT apologizing for calling people out when they blatantly cross lines. It's ok to tell people to suck it. I promise. But your twist was still good! ❤
Story two. I genuinely never ever would assume someones paying when they invite me somewhere thats not something i would even consider. If anything them paying for me would be a really nice surprise
I am of the same thoughts except when it is dates. Like if someone asks me out a books a restaurant of their choice I def expect them to pay and I would pay for them if it’s reverse.
Same here. If the invitor is expected to pay now a days, a lot of us wouldn’t be able to go out to eat with friends and family. It’s too expensive to go out and pay for a group of people now. Every once in a while when we go out for sushi, we invite our friends and their kids and vice versa, we don’t expect the other to pay and will always pay our own way. Sometimes one of us will get an appetizer and we usually share that with the table.
We all went out to eat on my 60th birthday. There were 15 of us. Everyone paid for their own meal. With the economy the way it is, no one should expect anyone to pay for them unless the payer knows about it. They paid for the cake and that was appreciated
Story 2: I think it should be clearly communicated when invited that everyone has to pay their own way. That being said, best practice should be to always assume you’re paying for yourself (imo).
How is this girl going to call her bf broke, when she can’t afford to live on her own, and needs him to pay all the bills. If he was so broke how is he able to afford to support her, yeah she just big mad that she can’t fully control him. Yes he’s at fault in his part but you should always have the mindset of paying for yourself when you go out to eat. Also when someone does invite you out that doesn’t mean take advantage of the situation in order what you can’t afford! Nah! You should order the same thing as if you were paying! Because that’s just taking advantage. If you know you can’t afford a $150 meal for yourself, don’t expect someone else to cover it just because they asked you to come out! He should’ve been clear for the get-go, hey make sure your friends know we will be spilling the bill into two separate checks. That’s all he had to say, after that information and they still assume you were paying, you would be off the hook, and now it’s 100% on your ex-girlfriend. Nah plus she shouldn’t be expecting you to pay for all of her friends, while you still support her financially. Also if he was so broke why did her friends thought it was ok to run up that check, because she probably said something. Now she’s embarrassed. Omg the way she talked to op as if she is a gift to him, and he should be so grateful to have her in his life, of if you pay back my friends we can get back together… tf!😂😂😂 girl you are not that special. Just move on this isn’t the girl you should or want to have Mary or have kids with. Just work on your communication skills and you’ll be just fine in your next relationship. This girl is tripping! She just trying to gaslight you into being her and her friends, personal ATM, with that one comment no girl wants to be with someone like you, because you didn’t pay for my friends. Nah please don’t listen to that crap! Heal and do better.
I go out to eat all the time with friends. At no point in any friendship have I ever been expected to pay for people just because I invited them. The expectation has always been that we pay for ourselves and if you can't afford it, let me know up front so we can choose a cheaper place or you can bow out gracefully.
I totally agree, but I will add that I do also believe the inviter should offer to pay in date situations, especially early relationship or pre-relationship dates. (That doesn't mean the invitee has to accept that offer, though.) And it has nothing to do with gender. This would be the rule with same sex dates too, or if a woman invites a man. The reason is because, unlike when friends or family go out together, there isn't an established relationship between the potential couple. Presumably though, the inviter is interested in the other person and wants the other to feel the same. So as an act of good faith, the inviter should pay because, even if the date doesn't work out, only the invitee's time was wasted, and not their money as well. Put another way, if the inviter is interested in someone enough to ask them out, but he or she can't be bothered to at least do the courtesy of covering their object of interest's meal, then the inviter is probably not someone you'd want to waste your time on in the first place. That doesn't mean they always have to pay every time they go out until the end of time either, since the dynamics can change as relationships grow and evolve. At any rate, OP was NTA in this story. His girlfriend sounded like nothing more than a manipulative, materialistic gold digger.
Story 3: It sounds like OP's husband may have narcissistic tendencies, but I'd worry about this behaviour escalating. He's gone from stealing his child's home to killing his wife's plants. What's to stop him from moving on to more aggressive things or even harming them directly? It sounds like he gets some sick pleasure from causing them pain. She needs to run far and fast and restrict his access to their child.
I really hope house plant lady took a vid or pics of daughters toys in his desk to show the court proof of abuse towards her. He dosnt deserve any time with her EVER😒
Story 2. He could have arranged dinner at a cheaper restaurant if he didn’t plan to pay, but girlfriend should have cleared it with everyone. If I got invited I wouldn’t have ordered the most expensive things on the menu anyway. I would’ve asked though
Here’s the thing, say if he was paying that does it mean order everything you can, and the most expensive things on the menu, you still order accordingly to what you could pay for as if you were paying. He should’ve been clear but they were still In the wrong for ordering a lot more thinking someone else was going to pay.
I have to say, this doesn't happen very often, but I disagree about having to pay for everyone when organising a birthday party get together. I would never assume someone, even if they are not the birthday person, would pay for me at a restaurant. That's wild
Story 2: when my husband and I go out with friends. If we invite them and don’t tell them “hey we don’t have the money to pay for you this time” we usually will pay for everyone (or try to it becomes a fight for “I can pay for myself” and my husband is like “I invited you let me pay” For my birthday we went to a reeeeeealy expensive sushi place and he was ready to pay for everyone and it was that fight where my friends where Zelleing him money 😂 It’s all about communicating though. You have nothing if you don’t communicate properly!
Story 1: I see nothing wrong with couples setting boundaries with people they socialize with, in regards to protecting and respecting their relationship. Story 2: if someone invites a group out to dinner and the group racks up the bill intentionally getting the expensive stuff, then I don’t see a problem with the inviter splitting it. Story 6: I’ve noticed a trend online and in person of parents and grandparents paying more attention to the child that is more needy, it seems to more often than not be the eldest. And then they end up surprised that their youngest needs attention, but never asked because the other sibling took up all the air in the room.
18:50 so i needed to comment on this as the other device i was on couldn't even if op was paying them racking up a tab is a major butt thing to do. to someone even if people will say " if your paying expect it to be expansive" who goes to get the most expansive thing they can find on the menu? 🤔
Story 1: "I apologize for reacting so loudly to the way you continually flung yourself at my husband, which he did not appreciate, at your sister's wedding. I am sorry that both me and my husband took exception to your adolescent and selfish behavior that day and on the days after. And I apologize in advance for the coming protective order as it will undoubtedly frustrate your plans to stalk my husband."
There. Public apology completed.
Nope. I mean it's a good twist on am apology, but also, let's normalize NOT apologizing for calling people out when they blatantly cross lines. It's ok to tell people to suck it. I promise. But your twist was still good! ❤
27:59 that pos at the end hit hard!!! ❤need to make a pos button, for those special pos!
Toilet roll confetti!
As someone who has healed from narcissistic abuse, that silent treatment in story 2 would have had no impact.
Story two. I genuinely never ever would assume someones paying when they invite me somewhere thats not something i would even consider. If anything them paying for me would be a really nice surprise
Same. I always expect to be paying for myself unless otherwise offered.
I am of the same thoughts except when it is dates. Like if someone asks me out a books a restaurant of their choice I def expect them to pay and I would pay for them if it’s reverse.
Same here. If the invitor is expected to pay now a days, a lot of us wouldn’t be able to go out to eat with friends and family. It’s too expensive to go out and pay for a group of people now. Every once in a while when we go out for sushi, we invite our friends and their kids and vice versa, we don’t expect the other to pay and will always pay our own way. Sometimes one of us will get an appetizer and we usually share that with the table.
We all went out to eat on my 60th birthday. There were 15 of us. Everyone paid for their own meal. With the economy the way it is, no one should expect anyone to pay for them unless the payer knows about it. They paid for the cake and that was appreciated
The plant story had me flabbergasted
Story one with the flirting.. If the gender roles were reversed we would call it sexual harassment. It's no different this way
It’s crazy people comment more on story 2 than story 3!
Story 3: That man is exhibiting preliminary serial killer vibes---IMO 😮
Story 2: I think it should be clearly communicated when invited that everyone has to pay their own way. That being said, best practice should be to always assume you’re paying for yourself (imo).
How is this girl going to call her bf broke, when she can’t afford to live on her own, and needs him to pay all the bills. If he was so broke how is he able to afford to support her, yeah she just big mad that she can’t fully control him. Yes he’s at fault in his part but you should always have the mindset of paying for yourself when you go out to eat. Also when someone does invite you out that doesn’t mean take advantage of the situation in order what you can’t afford! Nah! You should order the same thing as if you were paying! Because that’s just taking advantage. If you know you can’t afford a $150 meal for yourself, don’t expect someone else to cover it just because they asked you to come out! He should’ve been clear for the get-go, hey make sure your friends know we will be spilling the bill into two separate checks. That’s all he had to say, after that information and they still assume you were paying, you would be off the hook, and now it’s 100% on your ex-girlfriend. Nah plus she shouldn’t be expecting you to pay for all of her friends, while you still support her financially. Also if he was so broke why did her friends thought it was ok to run up that check, because she probably said something. Now she’s embarrassed. Omg the way she talked to op as if she is a gift to him, and he should be so grateful to have her in his life, of if you pay back my friends we can get back together… tf!😂😂😂 girl you are not that special. Just move on this isn’t the girl you should or want to have Mary or have kids with. Just work on your communication skills and you’ll be just fine in your next relationship. This girl is tripping! She just trying to gaslight you into being her and her friends, personal ATM, with that one comment no girl wants to be with someone like you, because you didn’t pay for my friends. Nah please don’t listen to that crap! Heal and do better.
Whattt is wrong with this psychopath in story 3?!?!
That sister was out of line her mom is out if line too
Nta! Nope I will never apologize!!
I go out to eat all the time with friends. At no point in any friendship have I ever been expected to pay for people just because I invited them. The expectation has always been that we pay for ourselves and if you can't afford it, let me know up front so we can choose a cheaper place or you can bow out gracefully.
I totally agree, but I will add that I do also believe the inviter should offer to pay in date situations, especially early relationship or pre-relationship dates. (That doesn't mean the invitee has to accept that offer, though.)
And it has nothing to do with gender. This would be the rule with same sex dates too, or if a woman invites a man.
The reason is because, unlike when friends or family go out together, there isn't an established relationship between the potential couple. Presumably though, the inviter is interested in the other person and wants the other to feel the same. So as an act of good faith, the inviter should pay because, even if the date doesn't work out, only the invitee's time was wasted, and not their money as well.
Put another way, if the inviter is interested in someone enough to ask them out, but he or she can't be bothered to at least do the courtesy of covering their object of interest's meal, then the inviter is probably not someone you'd want to waste your time on in the first place.
That doesn't mean they always have to pay every time they go out until the end of time either, since the dynamics can change as relationships grow and evolve.
At any rate, OP was NTA in this story. His girlfriend sounded like nothing more than a manipulative, materialistic gold digger.
Story 3: It sounds like OP's husband may have narcissistic tendencies, but I'd worry about this behaviour escalating. He's gone from stealing his child's home to killing his wife's plants. What's to stop him from moving on to more aggressive things or even harming them directly? It sounds like he gets some sick pleasure from causing them pain. She needs to run far and fast and restrict his access to their child.
I really hope house plant lady took a vid or pics of daughters toys in his desk to show the court proof of abuse towards her. He dosnt deserve any time with her EVER😒
Story 2. He could have arranged dinner at a cheaper restaurant if he didn’t plan to pay, but girlfriend should have cleared it with everyone. If I got invited I wouldn’t have ordered the most expensive things on the menu anyway. I would’ve asked though
Here’s the thing, say if he was paying that does it mean order everything you can, and the most expensive things on the menu, you still order accordingly to what you could pay for as if you were paying. He should’ve been clear but they were still In the wrong for ordering a lot more thinking someone else was going to pay.
He is responsible to pay for people who ordered the most pricey items cuz they weren’t paying? F*** em …
I have to say, this doesn't happen very often, but I disagree about having to pay for everyone when organising a birthday party get together. I would never assume someone, even if they are not the birthday person, would pay for me at a restaurant. That's wild
I’m 49 and even when I was little everyone paid their own at the restaurant
Everyone pays but the birthday person.
Story 2: when my husband and I go out with friends. If we invite them and don’t tell them “hey we don’t have the money to pay for you this time” we usually will pay for everyone (or try to it becomes a fight for “I can pay for myself” and my husband is like “I invited you let me pay”
For my birthday we went to a reeeeeealy expensive sushi place and he was ready to pay for everyone and it was that fight where my friends where Zelleing him money 😂
It’s all about communicating though. You have nothing if you don’t communicate properly!
Sick headphones, Dusty! What brand are they?
Story 1: I see nothing wrong with couples setting boundaries with people they socialize with, in regards to protecting and respecting their relationship.
Story 2: if someone invites a group out to dinner and the group racks up the bill intentionally getting the expensive stuff, then I don’t see a problem with the inviter splitting it.
Story 6: I’ve noticed a trend online and in person of parents and grandparents paying more attention to the child that is more needy, it seems to more often than not be the eldest. And then they end up surprised that their youngest needs attention, but never asked because the other sibling took up all the air in the room.
Story 1. Amy would have got it.
18:50 so i needed to comment on this as the other device i was on couldn't even if op was paying them racking up a tab is a major butt thing to do. to someone even if people will say " if your paying expect it to be expansive" who goes to get the most expansive thing they can find on the menu? 🤔
Sister is ascon -25
🤎