Excellent discussion. "There is no such thing as a productive conversation with a liar". Exactly. These things that walk among us have brains that function outside acceptable limits and are incompatible with civilization.
My hot take is the message 'not ALL men are like that, there are good men out there!' is a dangerous message. Because think of how it changes one's decisions, if you say 'yep, this is just what relationships with straight men are like, they are not set up to help women', it lead to the conclusion that women should get jobs, focus on their career and education and friendship, buy their own houses, make family from friends and community, etc. Versus if you say 'well, there's some good guys' it easily leads to women expending gob smacking amounts of energy dating (so they can find that elusive 'good one') and 'working on their relationship' and going to therapy to process bad relationships and jealousy of all the women who appear happily married, and investment back into patriarchy. So in balance, I think the message, 'yes, it's all of them, just don't invest in partnerships with men' is the better rhetoric. Same way we don't mention jackpot winners when telling people to not gamble in casinos. The messaging should be 'just never gamble'.
Excellent discussion. "There is no such thing as a productive conversation with a liar".
Exactly. These things that walk among us have brains that function outside acceptable limits and are incompatible with civilization.
The book beautifully and painfully captures how fragmented that abuse leaves you, your memories are chipped and shredded and apart
Phenomenal book i could not out it down for one second
I can't wait to read that book! Seems Sarah had a runaway husband... Very traumatic
Great book. Almost happened to me, but my husband's mighta- been schmoopy was our terminally diagnosed child's nurse who turned out to be a psychopath
Something I think about reflecting on my own chump is the pride I got from being a martyr, that can be addictive in itself
My hot take is the message 'not ALL men are like that, there are good men out there!' is a dangerous message. Because think of how it changes one's decisions, if you say 'yep, this is just what relationships with straight men are like, they are not set up to help women', it lead to the conclusion that women should get jobs, focus on their career and education and friendship, buy their own houses, make family from friends and community, etc. Versus if you say 'well, there's some good guys' it easily leads to women expending gob smacking amounts of energy dating (so they can find that elusive 'good one') and 'working on their relationship' and going to therapy to process bad relationships and jealousy of all the women who appear happily married, and investment back into patriarchy. So in balance, I think the message, 'yes, it's all of them, just don't invest in partnerships with men' is the better rhetoric. Same way we don't mention jackpot winners when telling people to not gamble in casinos. The messaging should be 'just never gamble'.