I hate big crowds. So I have tons of JOMO when I see big crowded events on social media. Fyre Festival would never appeal to me because I don’t like crowds.
I'm so thankful that I've learned how to tell my friends, "Sorry, I would love to, but it's out of my budget right now." It's a total bummer, of course, but it's keeping me afloat.
Oh my goodness. I am just learning this currently. I don’t know how other people will take it but I will do it regardless to keep my peace and to create boundaries 😊
If they’re really your friends, they’ll figure out ways to hang out where money isn’t as much of an issue. So in a way, you’re also testing their loyalty.
lol me right now saving to move out while most of my friends don't have savings accounts. It's until you're older it starts to make sense how some friends have money to do whatever they want, its bc they dont save shit
I have come to terms with becoming a buzz killington. I don’t go out to drink, id rather eat food at home and i don’t have any social medias. Life has gotten so much simpler and I’m happy
I don't compare myself to others either. I started to save a lot of money without distractions in the way. Edit: I am actually on Twitter, RUclips and Tiktok, I make some content on those platforms now,
Same!! Last year I deleted my accounts completely. Best decision I have ever made. Finances are healthier, I’m healthier and life is so much better. Not going back. For sure!
The saddest stories I have read right here on YT are by crafters who get caught up buying the latest crafting supplies. So over the years they have spent thousands and when an emergency arises they don’t have the money to pay for the emergency. 😮
Yes! FOMO that happened to me with eyeshadows palettes in 2016-2018, I felt like I had to everything to make pretty and creative looks when in reality I had everything I ever needed to last me a life time.
@@Ana-xq3yr if you want good quality art supplies, it's expensive. I'd always buy the cheap stuff and it wasn't worth it in the long term cuz it was so noticeably bad.
The key is to figure out what makes YOU happy and then pursue it. Who cares what others (especially social media “friends” you haven’t actually seen in years) think. They don’t get a vote in your life.
I always had to think about this. My biggest personal flaw is how others perceive me. Not just the way I dress, but my: abilities, worth, wealth, job, status, personality. I don't change myself to join them, but I DO mute my personality to fit in. So I feel like an outsider and a liar, when it's just FOMO and social media. I have to learn that other people's opinions do not matter. It doesn't mean that they're right. Just because some random person dislikes me, doesn't mean just valid. It would be like taking a poll and then focusing on one answer
@@marieclaireching It's not easy to learn that skill, and I sure haven't mastered it. What I do try to do is: I have a handful of people in my life who know me well and whose opinions I respect. My wife. My in-laws. A few close friends (not all of them, just the ones who know me well). Then I ask myself - is the opinion from one of those people? If not, then it doesn't count. You've already figured out that (most) other people's opinions don't matter, so you've done a lot of the work already. You're gonna get there, and it will be so cool when you do.
I deleted my social media in 2015 (excluding RUclips). I redownloaded it in 2022. Deleted it after 3 months, it was impossible to stay interested in.. i have no desire to post my life, compare my life, or be influenced by all these influencers. I just keep RUclips for informational videos. I really can’t stand the fake digital world. There’s so much peace and sanity being off it.
I've downloaded tiktok a couple of times. Spent too much time on it the first time, and felt much better once I deleted. I don't have it anymore. And I don't use Instagram really. Only RUclips. Although I don't like YT shorts. It feels like tiktok :(
Speaking from personal experience as someone who was raised as a middle class suburban American and married a man with a rural working class background in a very noncumerist community, i can attest that parental attitudes and childhood community/upbringing have WAY more to do with this issue than social media. I grew up in a world of a constant flow of birthday parties, expensive gifts, frequent vacations, cruises, sweet sixteens, proms, etc. My family had so much but my parents always complained that we never had enough. My husband grew up without a single birthday party or vacation, had meat on the dinner table maybe once or twice a month, and yet his parents never expressed the idea to him that their family was poor or lacking. Before i met him i didnt realize how horribly consumerist my way of thinking was, and how unhappy it was making me. I think a lot of people from my culture and generation suffer from this, and it has nothing to do with social media. All social media marketing does is profit off of the toxic consumerist views that many of us were raised with. Its so sad because when our parents made the choice to raise us in this way, they genuinely thought they were doing the right thing, and i respect that. Having a goal of "I want to give my kids everything that i never had" sounds noble until you actually realize the repricussions in terms of what you are telling your kids is important in life. For me, i learned that joy in life comes from getting things and looking forward to getting more things, and showing other people you have things. For my husband, he learned that joy in life comes from living in the present and just appreciating and accepting what each day brings.
My husband and I have it in a complete opposite way. I had a happy childhood, but from somewhere when I was ten my family constantly struggled with money. On top of that, I had three siblings. My parents could afford to buy very little of food that we all liked and super seldom. I normally like to savor things, so I would often end up having nothing because my siblings ate faster. I also could never save something for later for the same reason. I still have a lot of anxiety over sharing food. And I totally have (though, now less) FOMO when it comes to food in our fridge or on the common plate. I don’t eat more because it’s still not my way of consuming food, but I’m worried that I won’t get enough or I won’t get it when I want it. And food is just part of it. Because of my clothes and our financial troubles my classmates often excluded and bullied me. So for a long time afterwards if someone invited me somewhere and I was tired/not motivated to go, I would still go because subconsciously I was afraid to miss out, not being invited again. And my husband’s parents gave him whatever he wanted, and he doesn’t have FOMO towards anything. So, there are more to it than just “giving everything is bad, happy, but financially struggling family is good”.
I went into a kidstore with my 10 year old nephew, i asked him if he saw anything he likes, he said no thank you, i don't need anything. Then i saw something i like, a cute piggybank that costs $25 that id like to get for my first baby ( currently have 5 weeks left to go) , i asked him should i get it? He said no i dont need it and theres no point in spending money for a piggybank you want to put money in 😅 i listened to him and didn't get anything in the store. Definitely well raised... everytime i give him money to buy things or bday /christmas presents, he said he will save the money for his college. ❤ I'm 35 years old and he thinks way ahead of me 😅 about his future.
I scrimped and saved, invested and built a good nest egg by 35, but found that everyone around me was just trashing their bank accounts and digging themselves into debt. I was no happier sitting on a pile of digits than they were in bankruptcy court and so now I’m hitting my “midlife crisis” era and blowing some excess load and it feels amazing! Like no consequences amazing. I recommend starting out responsible then making mistakes, not the other way around.
For me personally, the worst part of being on social media is being so aware of what others have/are doing. I really don't need to know that, i would never know if i weren't on social media so it's not relevant to my life. All it's doing is make me feel miserable about where i am in life.
I get FOMO like a lot of people but i'm also too much of a cheap dude. I'd look at the price & think "there's no way i'm spending 12k for a series of concerts". That's also why I don't go to casinos or play lottery or something. I'll see that I lose & get instantly mad for spending money on nothing.
internet historian did a great vid on the fire festivial...I don't blame poeple from getting scammed...bc I can totally see how it seemed legit. IDK if it should count as fomo...as much as just falling for a scam.
To be honest, as a marketing student, I learnt all the tricks and study people's psychology to create a good marketing campaign. I am frankly quite aware of all the emotions that you just point out as a consumer. I do agree that the most important step to financial stability is to limit or stop using social media. You don't know how much social media is design to push you to the next trend and by limiting it, it changed you in a lot of ways.
I deleted all my social media for almost 2 years. Social media was something very big in my life, starting all the way from Xanga, to MySpace tumblr, to instagram, etc. I was on there so much, literally feeling I needed to post every fucking thing I was doing, eating, spending etc. The constant comparing myself and just chasing some fake image or lifestyle that really don’t fucking matter. I am so much happier w/o any of that in my life! RUclips is my guilty pleasure for sure, but that’s about it. I’ve found so much more inner peace, and be able to live w/o any pressure. I’ve also stopped impulse buying recently. I’ve been obsessed with another finance channel (Caleb hammer) and that really helped me realize how poor I was with money. I’m 30 now, and there are just so much more important things in life, and my priorities are beyond what social media can ever offer. I feel like I am free!!!
Some of my friends always partied every week and very often went to festivals as well. I just chilled at home, worked on the car, wrote some code and played some bass. Then the pandemic hit and everything closed. My friends got depressed and didn't know what to do. I just chilled at home, worked on the car, wrote some code and played some bass. It's a lot easier to get through the bad times, when your good times don't require you "belong". The same goes with money, you can spend a lot on a luxurious life and get depressed when you need to adapt to worse financial circumstances; Or you can just live a "good enough" life and practically shrug when it goes a bit south.
FOMO is real. Everyone who grew up in the 80s are a target from many pop culture companies re-releasing old favorites whether it be games, toys, etc. Nostalgia is a helluva drug and it aint cheap. Companies know most likely we are mid-career so the money is there (also new customers in their kids). Comic Con is happening now in SD and the amount of figurines is insane, easily in the hundreds of dollars. We live in a time where there is a “limited edition” item in every single category you can think of.
You have the look to be one of those instagram "influencers" yet you are dedicating your time and energy educating people (especially young people) on the importance of financial stability. I'm very grateful for your work! Please keep this up.
I never understood exactly how my ex could be so bad with money but it was probably for this reason. He would spend so much of his paycheck buying clothes, going to concerts, drinking with friends, etc. His electricity and phone at times got turned off because he ran out of money to pay for them. This was a huge reason why I eventually broke up with him. I'm thankful I'm married now to someone who can be responsible with money. But I guess from my ex's perspective he was always trying to maximize his experiences whereas I was always trying to save wherever possible to get ahead in a different way.
I think Instagram is worse than thinking when it comes to comparing yourself to others, because on TikTok you usually see strangers for who you don’t care about, while on Instagram you see your friends, with whom you more or less share the same life experience. Seeing some of them „doing better“ or going on expensive vacations or buys cars or so, you feel shittier, knowing the person than looking at some strangers
Yes, you usually see strangers on social media. But you don't see it yet on Tiktok Live sections. Tons of people are selling aggressively on this platform and it encourages tons of people to overspend their money.
The crazy thing about FOMO is how unconsciously it can work on you. It wasn’t until my later twenties when I finally began to trust fall into what I truly love and get joy from. Before then I was uncomfortable in my own skin because I didn’t like or want to do what I was “supposed to” - always go out on the weekends, play hustle culture, travel, live in a hip city, work at a certain company or start one, run marathons, or whatever else we stereotype being exceptional to be. Nothing inherently wrong with these things of course, but it’s better to intentionally include them in your life when they make sense, rather than just copy people out of anxiety. It’s also important to be kind to people - everyone is always trying to figure it out more than you think!
There should be a special video about FOMO and parenting. Children end up doing a lot of stuff just because their parents fear that just feeding, educating, protecting and playing with them is not enough. Thanks to social media and society pressures.
At least from my own life, I felt my parents had FOMO and pressured me into things, into being miss perfect, etc, which is a harsh burden to bear on an innocent child. Parents should work on their own feelings and FOMO, and not use their children to solve their FOMO issues.
God, it's so true. Everyone is so concerned about the material aspect of preparing for parenthood- do I have a good enough job, do I have a big enough house, enough savings, etc- but what they should *really* be teaching people preparing for parenthood is that they need to do the deep mental health work often needed to process their own past, especially their childhood. I think many of us are at our worst as parents when a situation involving our child triggers an old, unhealed wound. I was not prepared for that aspect of parenthood, and I wish someone had told me I needed to be. @@peachxblue
The other thing I noticed about digital fomo is that it is often detached from my physical and cultural environment. On instagram, pinterest or twitter, the Californian, New York, West European lifestyle is pushed...from clothes, shoes, cars, food, alcohol, exotic travel and they push these products to make you seem more desireable to your social circle....but I live in Kansas city and many of these fomo products have no interest to 95% of what my friends or neighbors find interesting, important or desireable.
hmmm you do have a good point. rarely do i see east european or scandinavian lifestyle being popular on pinterest and other social media. it's always either french or italian and occasionally english (not even scottish, welsh and irish but english).
So true! I live in rural Canada and almost none of the things pushed on social media are applicable here, so I never feel like I'm missing out on anything!
Yes same here, I live in a small town in Cape Town, South Africa… and my inspo boards on Pinterest & Insta, is definitely not the norm here 🤣. But I studied Personal Fashion Styling at LCF and also a makeup artist, so I looove these things. So the stylish shoes I buy, I will probable only wear once a week, but what I should spend my money on, are the casual, comfy, athlesure clothing that I wear every day… as a full time mom. 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
It all started with me noticing how my friends so easily throw away money when we go out. Sometimes they even push me to do the same! In that moment, I realized there's so many things I want to save up for, so many investments I want to pursue for myself and my life and I don't want to throw it all away for one fancy meal. Or two, or three or four. So I started saying no, or that I "can't afford" all that. I feel like rich people know when to invest and especially when it's not worth it, and my wellness comes first. I don't even enjoy those useless meals... I understand that money comes back in life, but at least let me spend it the way I want to, because I want to and when I want to.
Part of cutting away from FOMO Culture is putting boundaries from my old friends who love to go out almost everyday. I live a financially unstable life and back then, I was kind of in a hopeless place not to say no because I really wanted to be a part of something. I thought saying yes would guarantee a certain contentment in my life but once I realized how much I've cut away my budget for expensive foods and trips, I was stumped and bitter. Growing from that experience, I taught myself to be disciplined with the money I spend and sadly, distance myself from those old friends. It's kind of hard too because FOMO served me friends who I thought would be my ride-or-die, when in reality it has made quite a damage to my financial state.
I can't imagine how life would be like without the financial safety net. Being poor because of bad decisions from the past. A college buddy mocks me for being so "careful" with money, yet he's the one eating frozen dinners, heat and eat processed foods, and smoking daily with a beer chaser. He's chronically broke, constantly hitting up people around him for loans or handouts. He is one bitter habanero.
@@simplytom1213 Wow, for a second, I actually thought you knew this guy. He was working fora university. One of his perks was, free education. He could have made the time to take a few night courses and been certified in a higher level in the engineering trades. Unfortunately, he figured the studies were too much of a burden, without much reward. He just retired early last year. He's sitting on his ass doing very little now. Smoking his cigarettes and drinking his beers. Wasting away again in Margaritaville.
@@bellerebellexx A little context is needed here...as a teen, this guy huffed aerosol chemicals. His drug and alcohol abuse are HISTORICAL. He talks with a manic hyper fast speech and is prone to fits of rage. I don't say this as a prediction, he's done this on so many times in the past. I keep a distance from this guy. He's steps away from a full mental disorder. I'm surprised he hasn't been hospitalized yet.
I never had social media (Apart from RUclips of course) because I always believed my life to be bland and very boring so I had nothing of value to add to people that surrounds me. Sometimes I question myself if I should open an account to catch up with things or trends but videos like this shows me I’m not missing much.
staying out of the immediate know gives you a chance to talk with people about these things. seeing a post can take away the conversation you could have about it, because they already talked about it, and you already know about it. It’s much more fulfilling to sit down and share random pictures, and have full conversations about things that happened.
You are completely right. Deleting Instagram (and other social medias) improved my life 500%. Not only from the financial aspect of things, but in all other ways as well. I wish more people would perceive sooner than later that this is a trap, engineered to keep them poor and enslaved. Your video is VERY important, and hopefully more people will get to watch it and reflect about the way our society is falling into a perpetual hole. Thanks so much for this.
FOMO is absolutely a thing that can be dangerous to those who surround themselves with that type of messaging (constantly scrolling social media, watching shows like the Kardashians or Desperate Housewives, for example). But I also think it has a lot to do with age and maturity, and the type of household you were brought up in and how you were taught to manage money and outside influences. My parents always taught me to live by my own rules and not give a rat's ass how other people were living and to not let other people make me feel less than. Consequently, I am very rarely influenced by what other people have and what type of life they're living. This lady has designer clothes and is lounging on a boat? Good for her. This guy has the fastest and coolest car? Good for him. I hope they're happy. Those things wouldn't make me happy, so I don't want them.
Like you mentioned, I feel like the problems we face nowadays are mostly not new, but rather based on human emotions that have taken root since the beginning of society. What the internet (and social media for that matter) has done though is amplify those emotions (both good and bad ones) to the extreme with means of communication more efficient and larger in scale than ever. It's easy to blame the "fall of humanity" on these new shiny things, but in the end they're just tools that intensify what people already think and do.
I've never had any social media and never felt that I'm missing out. When people find out that I don't, they'll look at me kind of weird and then say "good for you", so strange.
When I was younger I spent a lot of money on things which might make me look cool, like concerts, although that was never my thing, parties at clubs, although I usually got wasted as it was so boring.This cost me a ton of money, or other stuff which you can talk about. Now I do not care. I just stay at home if I do not want to go. This might seem lonely to some people. But this is actually what I prefer over all.
I love this so much, I'm 31 and my husband and I have been hustling and grinding focusing on our businesses, paying off debts and working non-stop, no kids, no vacations or family functions and sometimes I beat myself up because I see other people I know my age constantly traveling and creating this "picture perfect" image online but I tell myself I'll be 32 with a paid off house, nice nest egg and other assets to set me up for a better future in 5-10 years, while being extremely self-educated with my money while those same people I know still live in apartments barely getting by in loads and loads of debt just creating this image. Focus on the most important things first, because life can change in a heart beat and crap could get real, real quick. We've always wanted to be prepared.
@@thefinancialfreedomgirl Dear Ms Nicole, With all due respect - much, of which is due; I think you’re ‘fyre’ 😘. You cured my FOMO: I was a nerdy nerd at school (but luckily, to ‘polite’ to be bullied). And now, I’m on track to gain the right to add the letters ‘PhD’ (or, maybe ‘DPhil’ - if, you can spot the difference 🥸) at the end of my name. I must say - though, the fact that you can get anything done, without consuming copious amounts of caffeine, truly baffles me. Cordially, A male POC with ADHD, whomst’s comment you’ve highlighted before
It kinda depends though, from person to person their reasons for owning apple products might be different. Especially when it comes to IOS and Android operating systems
For a couple years now I’ve had this yearning to logout of my social media accounts and focus solely on my passions and the life I want to create, but the yearning to check if I’ve had any messages (rarely if any), check if my peers have posted, etc. have kept me from focusing on myself. Consequently I’d repeatedly fall down an addictive rabbit hole of consuming unnecessary media and wasting time, then self loathe all over again. Now it takes discipline for me to try to regain focus on my own life & passions to remember that me not wanting to miss out on the lives of others is costing me to miss out on my own potential and life. Thanks for the video, was a great reminder.
Thank you Cara for this video! I don’t have instagram anymore, one day during covid I must have had a huge overwhelming saturation of seeing others doing cooler things while I was kept at home by my social responsibility to not spread the virus. Actually my account it’s still active because I felt so good from deleting the app from my phone that I eventually forgot my password and I wasn’t really compelled to even enter instagram ever again just to eliminate my account once for all. Anyway, I’ve never heard about FOMO before, but now I think I finally get that something comparable to it might be the explanation of why I suffered from instagram so much. It wasn’t just plain envy, it was more a feeling of being cut out because of a sort of inability to be cool enough to fit in, even if never missed anything in my life rationally speaking. Now I only enjoy long videos on RUclips like yours and life has never been better, all that mess of emotions is a far away memory 💕💕💕 thanks for sharing and kisses from Italy 🇮🇹
I experienced a mindset shift or awakening after hearing one of the most profound things in my early teens. To say this information changed me and my life is a true understatement. As at the time, I was suffering from crippling social anxiety. Essentially, I thought everyone was not only watching me in public but laughing at me. The thing that was said to me, I didn't believe at first, as it was the opposite of the reality I had been living in for longer than I could remember. But after it was said to me, I had to question if it was true, which would mean I was wrong. What was said to me was this.. "I don't know why you think everyone is watching and laughing at you. People are way too focused on themselves to be paying you much mind." Like a mouse put in a new cage, I started observing the other mice pondering 🤔 if this message I'd received was true or not. I can't begin to tell you how healing it was to my social paranoia once I realized it was 100% true. I continued to heal and if you've ever watched my channel you'll see that I don't have an ounce of that old social anxiety, but have rather turned from an old crawling caterpillar into a social butterfly. Indeed, the reason not to fuss about how people view you is because people aren't really looking, taking a tally, and telling everyone else. They're focused on living their lives, which is precisely what we should all be doing and not focused on others or fearing what others might be thinking about us. I'm not saying there isn't anyone paying close attention to you and your life, as there might very well be. The world after all is full of a lot of psychos.
I rarely have FOMO moment because the way i was raised was to not follow a trend. Also i have many moment when people told me my taste was out of date, and then the next trend align with my taste those same people use the same thing as mine, real funny tbh.
" Keeping up with the Joneses" is the old world saying that best encapsulates the current FOMO culture of this generation. For someone like me who don't consider themselves cool, hip or trendy, I don't subscribe to the idea of creating this illusion that I'm rich and famous. My smartphone is not an iPhone. My family's vehicle is not a Benz, nor a flashy Lambo but rather a brand that exudes understated elegance here where I live in. I don't go out on exclusive clubs. But since my lifestyle is low key, I can do other things like traveling to exotic destinations or country, establishing my own business and making investments. It all boils down to priorities that benefits both your mental health and personal growth in life.
Honestly with the cost of living going up I have noticed I am not as great with impulse spending as I thought. It is a real struggle to pull back from it when so much of life seems to be keeping up with the Jones'. Something I have found that helps is running inventory of what I have, so going through my closet makes me realise I definitely don't need more clothes. Great video!
I'm in a season of my life where I'm on a tight budget and only able to save because I'm currently living with my parents. Deleting social media has saved my mental health and I wish more people would do it.
FOMO is really dumb and I’m so glad I figured this out sooner. I’d much rather stay at home and work on my paintings, do my 3D printing, and other hobbies I have been neglecting due to work than spending $100+ each weekend getting destroying my liver and going to concerts. No thanks
Lots of people have said this already in other avenues, but the emphasis placed on women's appearances and certain experiences (girls trips, lashes done, nails done, expensive upkeep routines) all keeps women from having true stability and options. Of course, men can be impacted by this too. Women, however, are the group who has the most expensive list of to-dos in daily life just to "stay on trend." Money in the bank gives options to move on from jobs and people who are unhealthy and purchasing power that is actually going to move you forward (such as paying cash for a car with zero debt and buying a house and maintaining it as an asset.) I think many people will be sad if they add up how much money they wasted trying to be "in" rather than building up their own lives and futures. I put myself in this category as someone who realized that image-driven, consumerist Orange County, CA lied to me, and I bought it. It's never too late to change, but just remember that the people who really love you don't want you to prioritize the greater for the lesser -- yourself included. Yes, there is middle ground, but that isn't what's common for most of us.
I deleted Instagram almost 2 a months ago. Best decision ever! I feel so much better about everything, I don’t compare myself to others anymore, I feel free!!! I can just be who I truly am, take care of my own life without comparison. I’ll never go back. I now have peace of mind 🙏🏻
I loved this, Cara. Another point I have noticed is a more involved conversation between social media and careers. Previously, you became a doctor, lawyer, etc. to obtain wealth. The problem is that no one really could see that wealth and social media provided the platform to showcase it. Now, we see that you dont actually need to chase a profession in order to obtain those things as getting paid off social media content (Tic Tock, RUclips, and yes... OnlyFans) is a thing. Why spend years in school, hundreds of thousands of dollars just to chase something that you can get for a lot less work and a lot less effort? I also dont think many people care about the experience or things themselves, as long as they have the Instagram post to prove that they did it. I sadly also don't see FOMO culture ever going away until we see a decline in social media.
One of the many reasons I got rid of social media because FOMO and social anxiety. We see a post and we might feel immediately Drained and sad because we didn't get to attend or travel to that event or location. I feel that I am able to my own thing without getting "influenced" by others.
@Jay-xj5yt you are completely right! I don't really see RUclips as one of the "main forms" of social media I communicate with. Call me hypocritical but I meant the other channels.
Married for 10 years, and I've seen my colleagues nowadays who always have a loan, no savings, living paycheck to patcheck and feet is always on the edge, why? Because 10 years ago, they lived a life of keeping with the joneses, constant updgrade of the Lastest Car Model, Fastest Motorcycle and Flashiest Smartphone... Me? Never had that Money Trap in my life, as man, Socialmedia for me is just a form of communication, to "connect" with friends, not to live like them. My annoyance piled up and I had enough of their BS when I saw people buying stupid stuff when there's no money in the middle of stupid pandemic. I quit Facebook in 2020, and use only Messenger to plainly chat my real friends, it's a peaceful life. I may not have luxuries life what other people think as "happiness", I ride a 10 year old scooter and 32 year old suv... But I have financial freedom, I'm FREE and not a SLAVE in this SYSTEM.
Financial stability feels so good. I don't make a lot but I've built up a series of safety nets for myself in case everything goes wrong, I have 1k in my emergency fund (want to go up to 3k when I can), 200 euros in case I forget to budget for a bill or something, 200 euros in "buffer" money in case I want to buy something I've been saving for but I'm just a bit short and it goes on sale (doesn't happen often), I have 20 euros in both my wallet and phone case in case I get stranded and need a bus/ride home, and finally 1k credit card that is topped off in case of a giant emergency where the emergency fund isn't enough. I don't make a lot or have a lot of money from month to month, but having these safety nets has made me not worry about what I make that month and if it's gonna be enough, I also got rid of all subscriptions that I could to save as much money as possible so the only bills I have right now are the necessary ones for housing
This is something that blows my mind. I went through a year period where I felt the need to constantly spend on new things and going out. But I wound up just collecting stuff I didn't really need or like and never having money for things I really wanted. I stopped doing that and started saving and it helped a lot. I realized that I don't really need much to be happy. I've also invested in new things and it's helped me figure out my priorities for saving and spending. I live off a very meager amount of money and it works for me to fit my needs.
I needed to watch this video because I was thinking about how much I missed out on events to socialize because I had other plans at that time. There’s always a time to shine y’all
I haven't been on a plane in 25 years. I suppose one of the reasons I'm not on social media, is that no one wants to see me sitting around watching television.
I feel like my autistic brain has protected me from falling into FOMO culture. I'm hyper critical of everything, so I've never felt like I needed to do anything to not miss out. Leaving social media completely, didn't hurt.
I’ve come to realise I experience FOMO due to not liking alcohol or relationships/sex (aroace) or not having enough money to go overseas/vacation unlike my peers
Thank you for so clearly and compassionately explaining this issue. I'm setting this aside to share with my daughters as part of our family digital literacy and safety program, but really the impact goes far beyond the digital. I squandered the wealth of my 20's and early 30's trying to buy the lifestyle I wanted, and ended up financially unstable, chronically stressed, and- because you can never *actually* buy a lifestyle- still without the orderly, beautiful, perfect life I thought I craved. So grateful you're putting this content out, and I hope it guides people away from making the same awful mistakes I made.
Hi Cara! I've been watching your videos lately and have absolutely loved them, especially the video about how designer brands keep you poor. I am currently a college student so I can very much relate to this topic. I even find some of your points like 'there will always be a next big thing' hard to take in, solely because the statement is the cold heart truth, something that I am still trying to implement in my future time or money expenditure. I really do think you are doing great things by being very informative and straightforward. Keep up the good work!
11:27 - This is such good advice! It's true that sometimes you just have to make a decision and roll with it. Everything usually always works out fine, so no need to over-stress. Even if something goes wrong you can always course-correct later.
FOMO used to dictate what I did or bought when I was younger, but after going through so much consumer debt, I learned that being financially secure is better for my future.
Great points! It was kinda freeing when i let go of people that needed me to spend money like them. I suddenly was able to peruse all sorts of things i had wanted to and the friends i kept, all became even better friends. Not to mention the mental health benefits of no longer being on social media.
Thank you for saying that out loud! From the day I finished school (now I'm 27) I was very anxious about my friends' lives and I felt like I am "missing out" because we took different paths. While actually I was living MY OWN LIFE which always had and will have its own upsides. Just thank you, really glad to hear things that soothe my mind and make me calm.
I also think that COVID helped in this case. We were all suddenly locked inside our homes thinking that we could be somewhere else doing something much cooler and that we should have done this or that had we known we were going to be in lockdown.
I need this exactly right now. Thank you. I've always been one to keep myself off FOMO even when I was younger but rn I am vulnerable and I got sucked in. Thank you for reminding me of who I am.
Tbh my entire life I had fomo about financial stability. I grew up in severe poverty- all I ever wanted was to feel safe and stable and now that I’m almost 30 and FINALLY getting there it’s such a calm peaceful feeling and time in my life. I hope some people think about that.
i really needed this. i had a group trip planned out and as someone who had their whole youth taken away by their strict parents, i just crave social interactions so much. i hate how i feel envious by watching the countless stories of people travelling on social media, even tho i know they are going like for two days and are eating bread instead of a good meal.
The internet historian made a video about the fyre festival. The 12k tickets are fake news, most people weren't paying anywhere close that amount. Everything else, as always, was spot on.
Love your video Cara. Before this video, I watched a video about a man that says his new car payment is $2,050 a month. Although it is none of my business what financial decisions other people make, it just blows my mind how bad people are with money and basic math.
FOMO has definitely impacted my relationship with money. I am a Social Media lover and it has been a factor in my spending habits. All of my life I wanted to be like everybody else and I am now learning that it didn’t do me any favors personally and financially.
Something also that i think gives FOMO so much importance, it's language and the culture you have with elders. For example I'm from Mexico, and in the state I'm from, we don't say "I want" (Yo quiero), we say "I need" (Yo necesito) to reffer to things that we want, for example you will more often than not her someone say "I need a new phone, or a vacation", and because of the language use, you are predispose to FOMO. And also your relationship withe elders, in here we have a really strong respect for our elders, so a lot of the times, they are projecting on your life about what they didn't in theirs and "pressure" you to do stuff. So FOMO can be really influenced by culture and language too.
I don’t have noticeable FOMO in a social context, but for some reason I have huge FOMO over products that get discontinued. It’s the “now or never” feeling.
The minute I see something pop up on my social media (pretty limited anyway). and you HAVE to buy, by a certain time frame, I immediately stop. Don't even look at it. Also, if I'm in a store or if I need a big household purchase & have a sales person start pressuring me (time limit, prestige, etc.), I'm gone.
Being a miniature gamer (and probably any hobby at that) there is always a “limited edition”, “sale”, or the “new hot thing”. It doesn’t help that some influencers know that and will create “click bait” videos or post to get emotions flowing. I finally sat down and told my wife that FOMO was really starting to hurt my way of life. We tried to go through how much I spent and gave up rather quickly because it was just too much to handle. I would buy stuff just because people were talking about it and really got me hooked into it. Once I started realizing I was just chasing “FOMO” and made the decision to really scale back and focus on what I enjoy about my hobby. I like building the models, painting them and having social interactions around a gaming table. It was something that I looked forward to each week. I do apologize if this comment got a little ranty but I feel like FOMO does really hurt everyone to some extent.
this has been an ongoing problem in my. There will always be something new and the previous new will become old, the problem is that there are people who will make you feel left out.
All marketing and advertising feed on psychology. It's like a legal scam. The best tool we have to fight off this tactic is to learn the psychology behind each of them. Your video is a great reminder of how we, as consumers, are led into thinking that we need something even when we truly don't. Thank you for this great video.
I Think its also a Problem, especially for people who naturally don’t like parties / going out so much (introverts), that this younger generation is very much about partying / going out, doing stuff with many people or simply doing stuff every day. So those people always kind of feel like not fitting in or having to do more because otherwise their lives aren’t fun enough. I think it should be normalized that not everyone likes doing something fun every single day. Or going out every weekend or so on. I think if this was normalized there wouldn’t be so many people out there having FOMO and feeling shitty because of it. But there’s almost no influencer / RUclipsr actually sharing this kind of lifestyle. Even though there are so many people living that lifestyle.
As someone from the Caribbean, I don't have access to loads of things my US homies do. The sheer difference in what they can experience regularly, from live shows everyday, to the latest video games, to all kinds of merchandise, which we can't over here (at least, not without paying 10x the cost) is overwhelming. So when I share the same community spaces with them, such as an online fan group for a musical artist, and they're the ones getting to see them every weekend when I can't, it really feels like I'm not a 'real' fan or like I can't possibly be part of the same conversation simply because I'm not consuming as much as them. The only way I cope with this is thinking about how desensitising it is to see your favourite artists live every single day, as opposed to the few times I got to go away to see a live performance, which were life-changing experiences. It almost seems like a numbers game to see how many live shows or bands my US homies could see, rather than it actually be a meaningful set of experiences. Apples and oranges, maybe.
6:36 reminds me of something i read in a book recently “Far more powerful is to suggest, whether blatantly or surreptitiously, that you don’t have everything that you deserve, or everything that you should have in order to be acceptable. They romance you by implying that there is a sort of life that is Right For You Personally, and that they have the stuff to sell that goes with that life.” “Complex psychology is used to ensure that the marketing plays to your most precious visions of the You you’d like to be, and the What you feel like life should be more like.”
@@lizardly6353 i can’t believe i didn’t say the name of the book. it’s called ‘The Art of Frugal Hedonism’ by Annie Raser-Rowland and Adam Grubb. hope you enjoy :)
@@lizardly6353 i replied earlier but it seems my comment got deleted? i have no idea why. the book is called the art of frugal hedonism by annie rowland and adam grubb
the main reason for deleting insta for me was the personalized ads that made me buy stuff (that seemed good quality, sustainable and all that, but were not really necessary for me at the present) the whole skincare, makeup tutorials, series, places to visit near me, cute cafes to explore. just became a little too much for me. realized that at the end of the day i don't want that to consume me totally. I just want to spend some time with my friends but meeting just for the sake of insta stories, snapchat just seemed very superficial (ik it sounds very cliché). some of my friends are content with these stuff and I am genuinely happy for them. but this whole thing is not for me. Just too tired of getting consumed everywhere, really sucks all of the energy out of me.
She's absolutely right on the last part. Above all is peace, stability and long term contentment. My wife and I value these over missing out because we don't feel like we're missing out. We aim for the things she mentioned not cars and stupid crap everyone else is after.
Now that I'm married with a toddler, I have the perfect excuse for saying no to things I only did because "everyone else is doing it" and being more intentional about my purchases.
I have learned to not give in to FOMO as I got older. I have not been tempted to buy an iphone even if I could technically afford it. Still using my android phone ever since I got it. It just does not make sense to me. I have also cut down on my social media intake tha past year and have not missed a thing. 😅
"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have no Great War, No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." - Fight Club (1999)
I used to think I was immune to FOMO marketing - then I downloaded TikTok. Suddenly I bought Jorts and Parachute pants and T shirts I would've never worn if they weren't considered cool on that app. I just really wanted to be part of the cool kids.
Too many sell courses that do not help their professional careers. Glad people are talking about FOMO and how it damages the reputation and makes people poor.
Listen, it's very easy. If you are not born rich , it will be unwise to spend money on luxury. Ones you reach a point in life where you have a diverse portfolio of investments , then you can afford A BIT of lux. Just a bit ! After some years you will have a very healthy stack in your bank and you can retire young , what greater luxury than being free to do what you please.
JOMO = joy of missing out.
I've never heard of JOMO, thank you for sharing! I might have to adopt this acronym into my life
JOMO literally sums up my life !! I always think ignorance is bliss as well , especially things in social media .
I prefer HOMO = happiness of missing out (I'm queer I can make this joke)
I hate big crowds. So I have tons of JOMO when I see big crowded events on social media. Fyre Festival would never appeal to me because I don’t like crowds.
@@sleepysartorialist 😆😆😆😆😆
"sometimes the only reason we're doing something is because we're worried we're supposed to be doing it"
This blew my mind
For me that’s marriage and kids
@@em.415buy a house and married for me yeah😆
I finally enjoy Holidays not that I’ve learned that I’ve been chasing some ideal that doesn’t really exist outside Hallmark movies.
Yuuuup😊
Exactly. It's like mindfulness. A book like is called 30 Days to Overcome FOMO by Harper Daniels.
I'm so thankful that I've learned how to tell my friends, "Sorry, I would love to, but it's out of my budget right now." It's a total bummer, of course, but it's keeping me afloat.
Oh my goodness. I am just learning this currently. I don’t know how other people will take it but I will do it regardless to keep my peace and to create boundaries 😊
Same here 😊
Good for you, smart move.
If they’re really your friends, they’ll figure out ways to hang out where money isn’t as much of an issue. So in a way, you’re also testing their loyalty.
lol me right now saving to move out while most of my friends don't have savings accounts. It's until you're older it starts to make sense how some friends have money to do whatever they want, its bc they dont save shit
" The smartest ones were selling shovels."
Love this
Now they sell courses 😅
@@Erepk Exactly.
That's because it's true.
it's so powerful as a statement idk i didn't think about it that way until now
Thats why i invested in nvda, they make gpus (shovels) for ai software companies.
I have come to terms with becoming a buzz killington. I don’t go out to drink, id rather eat food at home and i don’t have any social medias. Life has gotten so much simpler and I’m happy
I don't compare myself to others either. I started to save a lot of money without distractions in the way. Edit: I am actually on Twitter, RUclips and Tiktok, I make some content on those platforms now,
Same!! Last year I deleted my accounts completely. Best decision I have ever made. Finances are healthier, I’m healthier and life is so much better. Not going back. For sure!
@@mariajoaoribeiro493 that’s so great! Glad more people are doing the same and realizing that you’re better off without it :)
Social media is cancer
You go! 🎉
FOMO exists in all communities including the arts and crafts community. Buying art supplies is one hobby and using them to create art as another!
The saddest stories I have read right here on YT are by crafters who get caught up buying the latest crafting supplies. So over the years they have spent thousands and when an emergency arises they don’t have the money to pay for the emergency. 😮
@@shadowguard3578are art supplies expensive? I have a sneaker addiction and they get expensive for sure!
@@Ana-xq3yrthere is a huge range, I imagine it's the same with sneakers. But the good ones can get very expensive
Yes! FOMO that happened to me with eyeshadows palettes in 2016-2018, I felt like I had to everything to make pretty and creative looks when in reality I had everything I ever needed to last me a life time.
@@Ana-xq3yr if you want good quality art supplies, it's expensive. I'd always buy the cheap stuff and it wasn't worth it in the long term cuz it was so noticeably bad.
I’m so glad more people are talking abt this!!
Maybe u not Andrew tate
Yes, lol at these rich kids.
The documentary was great and so was Internet Historian’s video on youtube
@@simp2234what does that mean
Girl bye u just spent 500 on CLOTHES
The key is to figure out what makes YOU happy and then pursue it. Who cares what others (especially social media “friends” you haven’t actually seen in years) think. They don’t get a vote in your life.
great advice!!
Yes 🙌🏻 Luv this
I always had to think about this. My biggest personal flaw is how others perceive me. Not just the way I dress, but my: abilities, worth, wealth, job, status, personality. I don't change myself to join them, but I DO mute my personality to fit in. So I feel like an outsider and a liar, when it's just FOMO and social media.
I have to learn that other people's opinions do not matter. It doesn't mean that they're right. Just because some random person dislikes me, doesn't mean just valid. It would be like taking a poll and then focusing on one answer
@@marieclaireching It's not easy to learn that skill, and I sure haven't mastered it.
What I do try to do is: I have a handful of people in my life who know me well and whose opinions I respect. My wife. My in-laws. A few close friends (not all of them, just the ones who know me well). Then I ask myself - is the opinion from one of those people? If not, then it doesn't count.
You've already figured out that (most) other people's opinions don't matter, so you've done a lot of the work already. You're gonna get there, and it will be so cool when you do.
I deleted my social media in 2015 (excluding RUclips). I redownloaded it in 2022. Deleted it after 3 months, it was impossible to stay interested in.. i have no desire to post my life, compare my life, or be influenced by all these influencers. I just keep RUclips for informational videos. I really can’t stand the fake digital world. There’s so much peace and sanity being off it.
Amen!
I've downloaded tiktok a couple of times. Spent too much time on it the first time, and felt much better once I deleted. I don't have it anymore. And I don't use Instagram really. Only RUclips. Although I don't like YT shorts. It feels like tiktok :(
Speaking from personal experience as someone who was raised as a middle class suburban American and married a man with a rural working class background in a very noncumerist community, i can attest that parental attitudes and childhood community/upbringing have WAY more to do with this issue than social media.
I grew up in a world of a constant flow of birthday parties, expensive gifts, frequent vacations, cruises, sweet sixteens, proms, etc. My family had so much but my parents always complained that we never had enough. My husband grew up without a single birthday party or vacation, had meat on the dinner table maybe once or twice a month, and yet his parents never expressed the idea to him that their family was poor or lacking.
Before i met him i didnt realize how horribly consumerist my way of thinking was, and how unhappy it was making me.
I think a lot of people from my culture and generation suffer from this, and it has nothing to do with social media. All social media marketing does is profit off of the toxic consumerist views that many of us were raised with. Its so sad because when our parents made the choice to raise us in this way, they genuinely thought they were doing the right thing, and i respect that. Having a goal of "I want to give my kids everything that i never had" sounds noble until you actually realize the repricussions in terms of what you are telling your kids is important in life. For me, i learned that joy in life comes from getting things and looking forward to getting more things, and showing other people you have things. For my husband, he learned that joy in life comes from living in the present and just appreciating and accepting what each day brings.
This
Thanks for sharing such a valuable insight
My husband and I have it in a complete opposite way. I had a happy childhood, but from somewhere when I was ten my family constantly struggled with money. On top of that, I had three siblings. My parents could afford to buy very little of food that we all liked and super seldom. I normally like to savor things, so I would often end up having nothing because my siblings ate faster. I also could never save something for later for the same reason. I still have a lot of anxiety over sharing food. And I totally have (though, now less) FOMO when it comes to food in our fridge or on the common plate. I don’t eat more because it’s still not my way of consuming food, but I’m worried that I won’t get enough or I won’t get it when I want it. And food is just part of it. Because of my clothes and our financial troubles my classmates often excluded and bullied me. So for a long time afterwards if someone invited me somewhere and I was tired/not motivated to go, I would still go because subconsciously I was afraid to miss out, not being invited again.
And my husband’s parents gave him whatever he wanted, and he doesn’t have FOMO towards anything. So, there are more to it than just “giving everything is bad, happy, but financially struggling family is good”.
Everyone online is trying to sell you something. Don't fall for it.
... wait a minute
So are you trying to sell me your point?
@@ValentinaCervera I'm selling ichiban for men, it's vintage lipstick for the open minded. Interested?
@@younghokim1994🤣🤣🤣
This is true
I went into a kidstore with my 10 year old nephew, i asked him if he saw anything he likes, he said no thank you, i don't need anything. Then i saw something i like, a cute piggybank that costs $25 that id like to get for my first baby ( currently have 5 weeks left to go) , i asked him should i get it? He said no i dont need it and theres no point in spending money for a piggybank you want to put money in 😅 i listened to him and didn't get anything in the store. Definitely well raised... everytime i give him money to buy things or bday /christmas presents, he said he will save the money for his college. ❤ I'm 35 years old and he thinks way ahead of me 😅 about his future.
It was a good read 😅
I scrimped and saved, invested and built a good nest egg by 35, but found that everyone around me was just trashing their bank accounts and digging themselves into debt. I was no happier sitting on a pile of digits than they were in bankruptcy court and so now I’m hitting my “midlife crisis” era and blowing some excess load and it feels amazing! Like no consequences amazing.
I recommend starting out responsible then making mistakes, not the other way around.
Girl same! I'm in my "treat myself era"
Sounds like you didn't get married. Financially, good plan!
@@AsusMemopad-us5lkFinancially, Emotionally, Mentally, soo much better.
Same here but I'm 23. Got an apartment by myself and next stop, the housing market. If that's even possibly nowadays without juggling 2-3 jobs lol
@@AsusMemopad-us5lk or have kids
my usual question before i buy anything is "do i need it" "will i use it often?"
those are great questions to ask - before I became a more conscious consumer, I would buy things that I used once and never touched again 😬 not good!
My personal favorite is can I comfortably buy it three times for non essential items.
"Can I easily return it" is important to me
@@thefinancialfreedomgirl same...
For me personally, the worst part of being on social media is being so aware of what others have/are doing. I really don't need to know that, i would never know if i weren't on social media so it's not relevant to my life. All it's doing is make me feel miserable about where i am in life.
I get FOMO like a lot of people but i'm also too much of a cheap dude. I'd look at the price & think "there's no way i'm spending 12k for a series of concerts".
That's also why I don't go to casinos or play lottery or something. I'll see that I lose & get instantly mad for spending money on nothing.
internet historian did a great vid on the fire festivial...I don't blame poeple from getting scammed...bc I can totally see how it seemed legit.
IDK if it should count as fomo...as much as just falling for a scam.
I remember when I could see some of the biggest bands for under $40. Last show I went to spent over $500. It’s terrible.
I'm. The same with the lottery. I might get 12 tickets at new years , one for each month and I'm done.
To be honest, as a marketing student, I learnt all the tricks and study people's psychology to create a good marketing campaign. I am frankly quite aware of all the emotions that you just point out as a consumer. I do agree that the most important step to financial stability is to limit or stop using social media. You don't know how much social media is design to push you to the next trend and by limiting it, it changed you in a lot of ways.
I deleted all my social media for almost 2 years. Social media was something very big in my life, starting all the way from Xanga, to MySpace tumblr, to instagram, etc. I was on there so much, literally feeling I needed to post every fucking thing I was doing, eating, spending etc. The constant comparing myself and just chasing some fake image or lifestyle that really don’t fucking matter.
I am so much happier w/o any of that in my life! RUclips is my guilty pleasure for sure, but that’s about it.
I’ve found so much more inner peace, and be able to live w/o any pressure.
I’ve also stopped impulse buying recently. I’ve been obsessed with another finance channel (Caleb hammer) and that really helped me realize how poor I was with money.
I’m 30 now, and there are just so much more important things in life, and my priorities are beyond what social media can ever offer. I feel like I am free!!!
Lol I’m also cutting Down and I watch Caleb too and am obsessed
@@harneetvirk9607 hahaha omg I only hear his squeaky upset voice every time I fill up a cart online
>> i deleted all my social media
>> comments on youtube.
🤦♀️
@@Whateverforever510 lol same! I have been looking at all my spending and trying to cut down so much now.
@@akashP998 LOL I know
Some of my friends always partied every week and very often went to festivals as well. I just chilled at home, worked on the car, wrote some code and played some bass.
Then the pandemic hit and everything closed. My friends got depressed and didn't know what to do. I just chilled at home, worked on the car, wrote some code and played some bass.
It's a lot easier to get through the bad times, when your good times don't require you "belong".
The same goes with money, you can spend a lot on a luxurious life and get depressed when you need to adapt to worse financial circumstances; Or you can just live a "good enough" life and practically shrug when it goes a bit south.
FOMO is real. Everyone who grew up in the 80s are a target from many pop culture companies re-releasing old favorites whether it be games, toys, etc. Nostalgia is a helluva drug and it aint cheap. Companies know most likely we are mid-career so the money is there (also new customers in their kids). Comic Con is happening now in SD and the amount of figurines is insane, easily in the hundreds of dollars. We live in a time where there is a “limited edition” item in every single category you can think of.
And every week is a new one😊
I've seen limited edition fruits. Like the thing you eat that's perishable..
It was a pineapple, like you can't just grow more?
You have the look to be one of those instagram "influencers" yet you are dedicating your time and energy educating people (especially young people) on the importance of financial stability. I'm very grateful for your work! Please keep this up.
wow thank you for your kind words and for watching! I really appreciate it!
I never understood exactly how my ex could be so bad with money but it was probably for this reason. He would spend so much of his paycheck buying clothes, going to concerts, drinking with friends, etc. His electricity and phone at times got turned off because he ran out of money to pay for them. This was a huge reason why I eventually broke up with him. I'm thankful I'm married now to someone who can be responsible with money. But I guess from my ex's perspective he was always trying to maximize his experiences whereas I was always trying to save wherever possible to get ahead in a different way.
Ouch
He would’ve made you poor or broke too, good on you for leaving his bum ass
I think Instagram is worse than thinking when it comes to comparing yourself to others, because on TikTok you usually see strangers for who you don’t care about, while on Instagram you see your friends, with whom you more or less share the same life experience. Seeing some of them „doing better“ or going on expensive vacations or buys cars or so, you feel shittier, knowing the person than looking at some strangers
Yes, you usually see strangers on social media. But you don't see it yet on Tiktok Live sections.
Tons of people are selling aggressively on this platform and it encourages tons of people to overspend their money.
The crazy thing about FOMO is how unconsciously it can work on you. It wasn’t until my later twenties when I finally began to trust fall into what I truly love and get joy from. Before then I was uncomfortable in my own skin because I didn’t like or want to do what I was “supposed to” - always go out on the weekends, play hustle culture, travel, live in a hip city, work at a certain company or start one, run marathons, or whatever else we stereotype being exceptional to be. Nothing inherently wrong with these things of course, but it’s better to intentionally include them in your life when they make sense, rather than just copy people out of anxiety. It’s also important to be kind to people - everyone is always trying to figure it out more than you think!
There should be a special video about FOMO and parenting. Children end up doing a lot of stuff just because their parents fear that just feeding, educating, protecting and playing with them is not enough. Thanks to social media and society pressures.
I was just thinking about how much money I spend making sure my kid doesn’t experience fomo when I should really be teaching her the opposite
At least from my own life, I felt my parents had FOMO and pressured me into things, into being miss perfect, etc, which is a harsh burden to bear on an innocent child. Parents should work on their own feelings and FOMO, and not use their children to solve their FOMO issues.
God, it's so true. Everyone is so concerned about the material aspect of preparing for parenthood- do I have a good enough job, do I have a big enough house, enough savings, etc- but what they should *really* be teaching people preparing for parenthood is that they need to do the deep mental health work often needed to process their own past, especially their childhood. I think many of us are at our worst as parents when a situation involving our child triggers an old, unhealed wound. I was not prepared for that aspect of parenthood, and I wish someone had told me I needed to be. @@peachxblue
The other thing I noticed about digital fomo is that it is often detached from my physical and cultural environment.
On instagram, pinterest or twitter, the Californian, New York, West European lifestyle is pushed...from clothes, shoes, cars, food, alcohol, exotic travel and they push these products to make you seem more desireable to your social circle....but I live in Kansas city and many of these fomo products have no interest to 95% of what my friends or neighbors find interesting, important or desireable.
ooh such a good point! the internet absolutely gives us a false reflection of the world and what's popular
hmmm you do have a good point. rarely do i see east european or scandinavian lifestyle being popular on pinterest and other social media. it's always either french or italian and occasionally english (not even scottish, welsh and irish but english).
So true! I live in rural Canada and almost none of the things pushed on social media are applicable here, so I never feel like I'm missing out on anything!
Yes same here, I live in a small town in Cape Town, South Africa… and my inspo boards on Pinterest & Insta, is definitely not the norm here 🤣.
But I studied Personal Fashion Styling at LCF and also a makeup artist, so I looove these things. So the stylish shoes I buy, I will probable only wear once a week, but what I should spend my money on, are the casual, comfy, athlesure clothing that I wear every day… as a full time mom.
🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
It all started with me noticing how my friends so easily throw away money when we go out. Sometimes they even push me to do the same! In that moment, I realized there's so many things I want to save up for, so many investments I want to pursue for myself and my life and I don't want to throw it all away for one fancy meal. Or two, or three or four. So I started saying no, or that I "can't afford" all that. I feel like rich people know when to invest and especially when it's not worth it, and my wellness comes first. I don't even enjoy those useless meals... I understand that money comes back in life, but at least let me spend it the way I want to, because I want to and when I want to.
Part of cutting away from FOMO Culture is putting boundaries from my old friends who love to go out almost everyday. I live a financially unstable life and back then, I was kind of in a hopeless place not to say no because I really wanted to be a part of something. I thought saying yes would guarantee a certain contentment in my life but once I realized how much I've cut away my budget for expensive foods and trips, I was stumped and bitter. Growing from that experience, I taught myself to be disciplined with the money I spend and sadly, distance myself from those old friends. It's kind of hard too because FOMO served me friends who I thought would be my ride-or-die, when in reality it has made quite a damage to my financial state.
I can't imagine how life would be like without the financial safety net. Being poor because of bad decisions from the past. A college buddy mocks me for being so "careful" with money, yet he's the one eating frozen dinners, heat and eat processed foods, and smoking daily with a beer chaser. He's chronically broke, constantly hitting up people around him for loans or handouts.
He is one bitter habanero.
He might still turn it around if he gets his degree, a good job then save.
@@simplytom1213
Wow, for a second, I actually thought you knew this guy. He was working fora university. One of his perks was, free education. He could have made the time to take a few night courses and been certified in a higher level in the engineering trades. Unfortunately, he figured the studies were too much of a burden, without much reward.
He just retired early last year. He's sitting on his ass doing very little now. Smoking his cigarettes and drinking his beers. Wasting away again in Margaritaville.
@@bellerebellexx
A little context is needed here...as a teen, this guy huffed aerosol chemicals. His drug and alcohol abuse are HISTORICAL. He talks with a manic hyper fast speech and is prone to fits of rage. I don't say this as a prediction, he's done this on so many times in the past.
I keep a distance from this guy. He's steps away from a full mental disorder. I'm surprised he hasn't been hospitalized yet.
I never had social media (Apart from RUclips of course) because I always believed my life to be bland and very boring so I had nothing of value to add to people that surrounds me. Sometimes I question myself if I should open an account to catch up with things or trends but videos like this shows me I’m not missing much.
You're not missing anything, keep your exclusivity and peace❤
staying out of the immediate know gives you a chance to talk with people about these things. seeing a post can take away the conversation you could have about it, because they already talked about it, and you already know about it. It’s much more fulfilling to sit down and share random pictures, and have full conversations about things that happened.
You are completely right. Deleting Instagram (and other social medias) improved my life 500%. Not only from the financial aspect of things, but in all other ways as well. I wish more people would perceive sooner than later that this is a trap, engineered to keep them poor and enslaved. Your video is VERY important, and hopefully more people will get to watch it and reflect about the way our society is falling into a perpetual hole. Thanks so much for this.
FOMO is absolutely a thing that can be dangerous to those who surround themselves with that type of messaging (constantly scrolling social media, watching shows like the Kardashians or Desperate Housewives, for example). But I also think it has a lot to do with age and maturity, and the type of household you were brought up in and how you were taught to manage money and outside influences. My parents always taught me to live by my own rules and not give a rat's ass how other people were living and to not let other people make me feel less than. Consequently, I am very rarely influenced by what other people have and what type of life they're living. This lady has designer clothes and is lounging on a boat? Good for her. This guy has the fastest and coolest car? Good for him. I hope they're happy. Those things wouldn't make me happy, so I don't want them.
right! took the words out of my mouth.
Like you mentioned, I feel like the problems we face nowadays are mostly not new, but rather based on human emotions that have taken root since the beginning of society. What the internet (and social media for that matter) has done though is amplify those emotions (both good and bad ones) to the extreme with means of communication more efficient and larger in scale than ever. It's easy to blame the "fall of humanity" on these new shiny things, but in the end they're just tools that intensify what people already think and do.
So well articulated!!
I've never had any social media and never felt that I'm missing out. When people find out that I don't, they'll look at me kind of weird and then say "good for you", so strange.
When I was younger I spent a lot of money on things which might make me look cool, like concerts, although that was never my thing, parties at clubs, although I usually got wasted as it was so boring.This cost me a ton of money, or other stuff which you can talk about. Now I do not care. I just stay at home if I do not want to go. This might seem lonely to some people. But this is actually what I prefer over all.
Fomo is something that definitely affected me until I gave up social media. Now, I don't get fomo as I have no idea what I'm missing out on!
I love this so much, I'm 31 and my husband and I have been hustling and grinding focusing on our businesses, paying off debts and working non-stop, no kids, no vacations or family functions and sometimes I beat myself up because I see other people I know my age constantly traveling and creating this "picture perfect" image online but I tell myself I'll be 32 with a paid off house, nice nest egg and other assets to set me up for a better future in 5-10 years, while being extremely self-educated with my money while those same people I know still live in apartments barely getting by in loads and loads of debt just creating this image. Focus on the most important things first, because life can change in a heart beat and crap could get real, real quick. We've always wanted to be prepared.
Video suggestion ⬇️
How apple uses exclusivity in their marketing and why apple users get the ick from android users.
oooh love these! and as an android user, I have sadly given the ick to many of my apple friends haha
Maybe not so much exclusivity as much as brand status.
Social status associated with brands is as old as capitalism.
@@thefinancialfreedomgirl Dear Ms Nicole,
With all due respect - much, of which is due; I think you’re ‘fyre’ 😘.
You cured my FOMO: I was a nerdy nerd at school (but luckily, to ‘polite’ to be bullied). And now, I’m on track to gain the right to add the letters ‘PhD’ (or, maybe ‘DPhil’ - if, you can spot the difference 🥸) at the end of my name.
I must say - though, the fact that you can get anything done, without consuming copious amounts of caffeine, truly baffles me.
Cordially,
A male POC with ADHD, whomst’s comment you’ve highlighted before
It kinda depends though, from person to person their reasons for owning apple products might be different. Especially when it comes to IOS and Android operating systems
For a couple years now I’ve had this yearning to logout of my social media accounts and focus solely on my passions and the life I want to create, but the yearning to check if I’ve had any messages (rarely if any), check if my peers have posted, etc. have kept me from focusing on myself. Consequently I’d repeatedly fall down an addictive rabbit hole of consuming unnecessary media and wasting time, then self loathe all over again. Now it takes discipline for me to try to regain focus on my own life & passions to remember that me not wanting to miss out on the lives of others is costing me to miss out on my own potential and life.
Thanks for the video, was a great reminder.
Thank you Cara for this video! I don’t have instagram anymore, one day during covid I must have had a huge overwhelming saturation of seeing others doing cooler things while I was kept at home by my social responsibility to not spread the virus. Actually my account it’s still active because I felt so good from deleting the app from my phone that I eventually forgot my password and I wasn’t really compelled to even enter instagram ever again just to eliminate my account once for all. Anyway, I’ve never heard about FOMO before, but now I think I finally get that something comparable to it might be the explanation of why I suffered from instagram so much. It wasn’t just plain envy, it was more a feeling of being cut out because of a sort of inability to be cool enough to fit in, even if never missed anything in my life rationally speaking. Now I only enjoy long videos on RUclips like yours and life has never been better, all that mess of emotions is a far away memory 💕💕💕 thanks for sharing and kisses from Italy 🇮🇹
I experienced a mindset shift or awakening after hearing one of the most profound things in my early teens. To say this information changed me and my life is a true understatement. As at the time, I was suffering from crippling social anxiety. Essentially, I thought everyone was not only watching me in public but laughing at me.
The thing that was said to me, I didn't believe at first, as it was the opposite of the reality I had been living in for longer than I could remember. But after it was said to me, I had to question if it was true, which would mean I was wrong.
What was said to me was this..
"I don't know why you think everyone is watching and laughing at you. People are way too focused on themselves to be paying you much mind."
Like a mouse put in a new cage, I started observing the other mice pondering 🤔 if this message I'd received was true or not.
I can't begin to tell you how healing it was to my social paranoia once I realized it was 100% true.
I continued to heal and if you've ever watched my channel you'll see that I don't have an ounce of that old social anxiety, but have rather turned from an old crawling caterpillar into a social butterfly.
Indeed, the reason not to fuss about how people view you is because people aren't really looking, taking a tally, and telling everyone else. They're focused on living their lives, which is precisely what we should all be doing and not focused on others or fearing what others might be thinking about us.
I'm not saying there isn't anyone paying close attention to you and your life, as there might very well be. The world after all is full of a lot of psychos.
I rarely have FOMO moment because the way i was raised was to not follow a trend. Also i have many moment when people told me my taste was out of date, and then the next trend align with my taste those same people use the same thing as mine, real funny tbh.
" Keeping up with the Joneses" is the old world saying that best encapsulates the current FOMO culture of this generation. For someone like me who don't consider themselves cool, hip or trendy, I don't subscribe to the idea of creating this illusion that I'm rich and famous. My smartphone is not an iPhone. My family's vehicle is not a Benz, nor a flashy Lambo but rather a brand that exudes understated elegance here where I live in. I don't go out on exclusive clubs. But since my lifestyle is low key, I can do other things like traveling to exotic destinations or country, establishing my own business and making investments. It all boils down to priorities that benefits both your mental health and personal growth in life.
Honestly with the cost of living going up I have noticed I am not as great with impulse spending as I thought. It is a real struggle to pull back from it when so much of life seems to be keeping up with the Jones'. Something I have found that helps is running inventory of what I have, so going through my closet makes me realise I definitely don't need more clothes.
Great video!
I'm in a season of my life where I'm on a tight budget and only able to save because I'm currently living with my parents. Deleting social media has saved my mental health and I wish more people would do it.
FOMO is really dumb and I’m so glad I figured this out sooner. I’d much rather stay at home and work on my paintings, do my 3D printing, and other hobbies I have been neglecting due to work than spending $100+ each weekend getting destroying my liver and going to concerts. No thanks
Lots of people have said this already in other avenues, but the emphasis placed on women's appearances and certain experiences (girls trips, lashes done, nails done, expensive upkeep routines) all keeps women from having true stability and options. Of course, men can be impacted by this too. Women, however, are the group who has the most expensive list of to-dos in daily life just to "stay on trend." Money in the bank gives options to move on from jobs and people who are unhealthy and purchasing power that is actually going to move you forward (such as paying cash for a car with zero debt and buying a house and maintaining it as an asset.) I think many people will be sad if they add up how much money they wasted trying to be "in" rather than building up their own lives and futures. I put myself in this category as someone who realized that image-driven, consumerist Orange County, CA lied to me, and I bought it. It's never too late to change, but just remember that the people who really love you don't want you to prioritize the greater for the lesser -- yourself included. Yes, there is middle ground, but that isn't what's common for most of us.
I deleted Instagram almost 2 a months ago. Best decision ever! I feel so much better about everything, I don’t compare myself to others anymore, I feel free!!! I can just be who I truly am, take care of my own life without comparison. I’ll never go back. I now have peace of mind 🙏🏻
Great messages in this vid! Keep it up
Hi there swoozie, youre funny.
a wild swoozie sighting! just found her channel, am loving her content. her videos says what iv been trying to preach for years.
I loved this, Cara. Another point I have noticed is a more involved conversation between social media and careers. Previously, you became a doctor, lawyer, etc. to obtain wealth. The problem is that no one really could see that wealth and social media provided the platform to showcase it. Now, we see that you dont actually need to chase a profession in order to obtain those things as getting paid off social media content (Tic Tock, RUclips, and yes... OnlyFans) is a thing. Why spend years in school, hundreds of thousands of dollars just to chase something that you can get for a lot less work and a lot less effort? I also dont think many people care about the experience or things themselves, as long as they have the Instagram post to prove that they did it. I sadly also don't see FOMO culture ever going away until we see a decline in social media.
"Do not under estimate how cool financial stability is". This is the most Seymour Skinner thing anyone has ever said. 😂😂😂. Love your videos!
One of the many reasons I got rid of social media because FOMO and social anxiety. We see a post and we might feel immediately Drained and sad because we didn't get to attend or travel to that event or location.
I feel that I am able to my own thing without getting "influenced" by others.
@Jay-xj5yt you are completely right! I don't really see RUclips as one of the "main forms" of social media I communicate with. Call me hypocritical but I meant the other channels.
Married for 10 years, and I've seen my colleagues nowadays who always have a loan, no savings, living paycheck to patcheck and feet is always on the edge, why? Because 10 years ago, they lived a life of keeping with the joneses, constant updgrade of the Lastest Car Model, Fastest Motorcycle and Flashiest Smartphone... Me? Never had that Money Trap in my life, as man, Socialmedia for me is just a form of communication, to "connect" with friends, not to live like them. My annoyance piled up and I had enough of their BS when I saw people buying stupid stuff when there's no money in the middle of stupid pandemic. I quit Facebook in 2020, and use only Messenger to plainly chat my real friends, it's a peaceful life. I may not have luxuries life what other people think as "happiness", I ride a 10 year old scooter and 32 year old suv... But I have financial freedom, I'm FREE and not a SLAVE in this SYSTEM.
I am actually so happy for not being as tuned in into the current trends or fashion. Saves me a lot of money and mental stress 😂
I am completely unfazed by digital ads/ influence. Its about personal contentment. Sad so many are seeking, lost, whatever.
I personally see people who are that worried about missing out on a product, trend, or event as being very insecure.
Financial stability feels so good. I don't make a lot but I've built up a series of safety nets for myself in case everything goes wrong, I have 1k in my emergency fund (want to go up to 3k when I can), 200 euros in case I forget to budget for a bill or something, 200 euros in "buffer" money in case I want to buy something I've been saving for but I'm just a bit short and it goes on sale (doesn't happen often), I have 20 euros in both my wallet and phone case in case I get stranded and need a bus/ride home, and finally 1k credit card that is topped off in case of a giant emergency where the emergency fund isn't enough.
I don't make a lot or have a lot of money from month to month, but having these safety nets has made me not worry about what I make that month and if it's gonna be enough, I also got rid of all subscriptions that I could to save as much money as possible so the only bills I have right now are the necessary ones for housing
This is something that blows my mind. I went through a year period where I felt the need to constantly spend on new things and going out. But I wound up just collecting stuff I didn't really need or like and never having money for things I really wanted. I stopped doing that and started saving and it helped a lot. I realized that I don't really need much to be happy. I've also invested in new things and it's helped me figure out my priorities for saving and spending. I live off a very meager amount of money and it works for me to fit my needs.
I needed to watch this video because I was thinking about how much I missed out on events to socialize because I had other plans at that time. There’s always a time to shine y’all
I haven't been on a plane in 25 years. I suppose one of the reasons I'm not on social media, is that no one wants to see me sitting around watching television.
This is like peer pressure in high school.
You're not in high school anymore!!!
I feel like my autistic brain has protected me from falling into FOMO culture. I'm hyper critical of everything, so I've never felt like I needed to do anything to not miss out. Leaving social media completely, didn't hurt.
I’ve come to realise I experience FOMO due to not liking alcohol or relationships/sex (aroace) or not having enough money to go overseas/vacation unlike my peers
Luxury brands make you poor. They sell cheap produced merch for the people who just want to Flash logos.
She's done a video on this.
Fomo is a very real thing.. it's the reason I was a functioning alcoholic in my 20s.. boy.. do I not miss those days.
Thank you for so clearly and compassionately explaining this issue. I'm setting this aside to share with my daughters as part of our family digital literacy and safety program, but really the impact goes far beyond the digital. I squandered the wealth of my 20's and early 30's trying to buy the lifestyle I wanted, and ended up financially unstable, chronically stressed, and- because you can never *actually* buy a lifestyle- still without the orderly, beautiful, perfect life I thought I craved. So grateful you're putting this content out, and I hope it guides people away from making the same awful mistakes I made.
❤️ so glad to hear this video was valuable for you and thanks so much for your kind comment!
Hi Cara! I've been watching your videos lately and have absolutely loved them, especially the video about how designer brands keep you poor. I am currently a college student so I can very much relate to this topic.
I even find some of your points like 'there will always be a next big thing' hard to take in, solely because the statement is the cold heart truth, something that I am still trying to implement in my future time or money expenditure.
I really do think you are doing great things by being very informative and straightforward. Keep up the good work!
thank you so much ❤️
I just deleted IG today because everytime I join back up I see a direct correlation with spending money on crap.
Good job, I hope you can keep it up!
11:27 - This is such good advice! It's true that sometimes you just have to make a decision and roll with it. Everything usually always works out fine, so no need to over-stress. Even if something goes wrong you can always course-correct later.
FOMO used to dictate what I did or bought when I was younger, but after going through so much consumer debt, I learned that being financially secure is better for my future.
Great points! It was kinda freeing when i let go of people that needed me to spend money like them. I suddenly was able to peruse all sorts of things i had wanted to and the friends i kept, all became even better friends. Not to mention the mental health benefits of no longer being on social media.
Thank you for saying that out loud!
From the day I finished school (now I'm 27) I was very anxious about my friends' lives and I felt like I am "missing out" because we took different paths.
While actually I was living MY OWN LIFE which always had and will have its own upsides.
Just thank you, really glad to hear things that soothe my mind and make me calm.
I also think that COVID helped in this case. We were all suddenly locked inside our homes thinking that we could be somewhere else doing something much cooler and that we should have done this or that had we known we were going to be in lockdown.
I need this exactly right now. Thank you.
I've always been one to keep myself off FOMO even when I was younger but rn I am vulnerable and I got sucked in. Thank you for reminding me of who I am.
Tbh my entire life I had fomo about financial stability. I grew up in severe poverty- all I ever wanted was to feel safe and stable and now that I’m almost 30 and FINALLY getting there it’s such a calm peaceful feeling and time in my life. I hope some people think about that.
i really needed this. i had a group trip planned out and as someone who had their whole youth taken away by their strict parents, i just crave social interactions so much. i hate how i feel envious by watching the countless stories of people travelling on social media, even tho i know they are going like for two days and are eating bread instead of a good meal.
The internet historian made a video about the fyre festival. The 12k tickets are fake news, most people weren't paying anywhere close that amount. Everything else, as always, was spot on.
Love your video Cara. Before this video, I watched a video about a man that says his new car payment is $2,050 a month. Although it is none of my business what financial decisions other people make, it just blows my mind how bad people are with money and basic math.
FOMO has definitely impacted my relationship with money. I am a Social Media lover and it has been a factor in my spending habits. All of my life I wanted to be like everybody else and I am now learning that it didn’t do me any favors personally and financially.
One of thr reasons why I am thankful for my cynicism not to fall for FOMO or peer pressures. It's not perfect, but the grass is greener here.
Something also that i think gives FOMO so much importance, it's language and the culture you have with elders. For example I'm from Mexico, and in the state I'm from, we don't say "I want" (Yo quiero), we say "I need" (Yo necesito) to reffer to things that we want, for example you will more often than not her someone say "I need a new phone, or a vacation", and because of the language use, you are predispose to FOMO.
And also your relationship withe elders, in here we have a really strong respect for our elders, so a lot of the times, they are projecting on your life about what they didn't in theirs and "pressure" you to do stuff. So FOMO can be really influenced by culture and language too.
I don’t have noticeable FOMO in a social context, but for some reason I have huge FOMO over products that get discontinued. It’s the “now or never” feeling.
The minute I see something pop up on my social media (pretty limited anyway). and you HAVE to buy, by a certain time frame, I immediately stop. Don't even look at it. Also, if I'm in a store or if I need a big household purchase & have a sales person start pressuring me (time limit, prestige, etc.), I'm gone.
Being a miniature gamer (and probably any hobby at that) there is always a “limited edition”, “sale”, or the “new hot thing”. It doesn’t help that some influencers know that and will create “click bait” videos or post to get emotions flowing.
I finally sat down and told my wife that FOMO was really starting to hurt my way of life. We tried to go through how much I spent and gave up rather quickly because it was just too much to handle. I would buy stuff just because people were talking about it and really got me hooked into it. Once I started realizing I was just chasing “FOMO” and made the decision to really scale back and focus on what I enjoy about my hobby. I like building the models, painting them and having social interactions around a gaming table. It was something that I looked forward to each week.
I do apologize if this comment got a little ranty but I feel like FOMO does really hurt everyone to some extent.
this has been an ongoing problem in my. There will always be something new and the previous new will become old, the problem is that there are people who will make you feel left out.
All marketing and advertising feed on psychology. It's like a legal scam. The best tool we have to fight off this tactic is to learn the psychology behind each of them. Your video is a great reminder of how we, as consumers, are led into thinking that we need something even when we truly don't. Thank you for this great video.
I Think its also a Problem, especially for people who naturally don’t like parties / going out so much (introverts), that this younger generation is very much about partying / going out, doing stuff with many people or simply doing stuff every day. So those people always kind of feel like not fitting in or having to do more because otherwise their lives aren’t fun enough. I think it should be normalized that not everyone likes doing something fun every single day. Or going out every weekend or so on. I think if this was normalized there wouldn’t be so many people out there having FOMO and feeling shitty because of it. But there’s almost no influencer / RUclipsr actually sharing this kind of lifestyle. Even though there are so many people living that lifestyle.
As someone from the Caribbean, I don't have access to loads of things my US homies do. The sheer difference in what they can experience regularly, from live shows everyday, to the latest video games, to all kinds of merchandise, which we can't over here (at least, not without paying 10x the cost) is overwhelming. So when I share the same community spaces with them, such as an online fan group for a musical artist, and they're the ones getting to see them every weekend when I can't, it really feels like I'm not a 'real' fan or like I can't possibly be part of the same conversation simply because I'm not consuming as much as them.
The only way I cope with this is thinking about how desensitising it is to see your favourite artists live every single day, as opposed to the few times I got to go away to see a live performance, which were life-changing experiences. It almost seems like a numbers game to see how many live shows or bands my US homies could see, rather than it actually be a meaningful set of experiences. Apples and oranges, maybe.
I am glad I cut out social media....
I feel the best I have ever felt...
And now I have become immune to FOMO
6:36 reminds me of something i read in a book recently
“Far more powerful is to suggest, whether blatantly or surreptitiously, that you don’t have everything that you deserve, or everything that you should have in order to be acceptable. They romance you by implying that there is a sort of life that is Right For You Personally, and that they have the stuff to sell that goes with that life.”
“Complex psychology is used to ensure that the marketing plays to your most precious visions of the You you’d like to be, and the What you feel like life should be more like.”
This sounds like a book I'd love to read! What book was it?
@@lizardly6353 i can’t believe i didn’t say the name of the book. it’s called ‘The Art of Frugal Hedonism’ by Annie Raser-Rowland and Adam Grubb. hope you enjoy :)
@@lizardly6353 i replied earlier but it seems my comment got deleted? i have no idea why. the book is called the art of frugal hedonism by annie rowland and adam grubb
the main reason for deleting insta for me was the personalized ads that made me buy stuff (that seemed good quality, sustainable and all that, but were not really necessary for me at the present)
the whole skincare, makeup tutorials, series, places to visit near me, cute cafes to explore. just became a little too much for me. realized that at the end of the day i don't want that to consume me totally. I just want to spend some time with my friends but meeting just for the sake of insta stories, snapchat just seemed very superficial (ik it sounds very cliché). some of my friends are content with these stuff and I am genuinely happy for them. but this whole thing is not for me. Just too tired of getting consumed everywhere, really sucks all of the energy out of me.
She's absolutely right on the last part. Above all is peace, stability and long term contentment. My wife and I value these over missing out because we don't feel like we're missing out. We aim for the things she mentioned not cars and stupid crap everyone else is after.
Now that I'm married with a toddler, I have the perfect excuse for saying no to things I only did because "everyone else is doing it" and being more intentional about my purchases.
I have learned to not give in to FOMO as I got older. I have not been tempted to buy an iphone even if I could technically afford it. Still using my android phone ever since I got it. It just does not make sense to me. I have also cut down on my social media intake tha past year and have not missed a thing. 😅
"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have no Great War, No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." - Fight Club (1999)
I used to think I was immune to FOMO marketing - then I downloaded TikTok. Suddenly I bought Jorts and Parachute pants and T shirts I would've never worn if they weren't considered cool on that app.
I just really wanted to be part of the cool kids.
Too many sell courses that do not help their professional careers. Glad people are talking about FOMO and how it damages the reputation and makes people poor.
Listen, it's very easy. If you are not born rich , it will be unwise to spend money on luxury. Ones you reach a point in life where you have a diverse portfolio of investments , then you can afford A BIT of lux. Just a bit ! After some years you will have a very healthy stack in your bank and you can retire young , what greater luxury than being free to do what you please.
You might be one of the besr financial/essay channels on youtube, seriously, i love it so much! good job!
Realize that the same people you are trying to show off to are the same people that couldn't care less about you.