HE did not make you a better person. YOU did. YOU let his assault on you change you for the better. YOU decided to respond to his evil selfish act in a compassionate and sympathetic way. Please do not give that molester any credit for all of the good that YOU did for yourself. You're amazing and good and you are a survivor. Proud of you.
A grew up in Waltham and my brother went to school with Jack. He sent me this video. Mr. Dacey was also my teacher and we all were shocked when he was accused of the abuse. This is the first time that I am hearing actual accounts of what happened Jack, you are an amazing and strong person for telling your story. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different!
You'd be surprised how many teachers, coaches etc in the school system are grooming minors. I was one of them for four years my business teacher tried and tried. I don't know where I found my wits about me because I had no support from my parents. I did not comply. Nonetheless, it did affect me in a way that I do not like to stand close to people; even my own family.
@@LaKwahsLament I’m sorry do you want me to write a long paragraph detailing everything I enjoyed about this interview? Not going to happen. I watched the entire thing & enjoyed it. Why don’t you leave a comment Juan & hop off mine. Have a great day
@@MarsEdition I can think and say what I want when I want to say it. He and his wife got divorced--and blew a hole in their little boy's life--over infidelity, a forgivable thing.
Hurt people hurt people until they find hope and learn they are enough. Then they can do immense good and break the cycle. This is the hero's journey. Every one is a miracle.
I was molested by my step father from the time I was 8 years old until I was 12 and I pretended to be asleep every time he would come into my bed. When you described the feelings and the effects that came with not stopping the molestation, I broke down. Because to this day as an almost 21 year old woman, it effects me so much that I didn’t tell him to stop or maybe my body reacted in a way that made me question if I wanted it to happen. I’ve never had anyone understand or put into words how that feels. Thank you so much… I am so sorry that you understand what that feels like but it is so healing to hear someone else talk about it.
Sweet girl it is NEVER a child’s fault. Pedophelia is a mental disorder DSM 5. The only person that could stop him was adults. He Parents and your Mom. You are brave, strong and loved. Focus on those that love and protect you and those that you love. Not on those that hurt you. My son was CSA in his fathers house by his bigger, older step-brother. He left us because of self blame and shame. It is NOT a victims to carry. NOT your shame or blame. It is the pedophiles shame and every condoning adult allowing it. Every child deserves to grow in safety. I am a grieving Mom, school teacher and also formally trained victims advocate. I will say what victims should not say. It is almost unsayable. You are brave and you help others to be brave. There is strength and power in our voices. Pedophiles rely on silence! I am angry with adults that don’t protect their children. 🤬Maybe by talking I can help a Parent to protect!!! ❤
This kind of thing happened to me too when I was much younger (4 years old). And, it really confused me too. One of the things that really helped me process my feelings was having a professional tell me that it is very common to feel guilty about it and wonder if you were some how asking for it. Nearly everyone that goes through it feels like that. We are human and sex feels good. So, of course when it happens it feels good and is stimulating. But, that doesn't change the fact that you were a victim and a child and unable to consent or even really understand what was happening. Even if you did ask, you were not able to ask. I hope you have, or can find, someone to talk through it with.
You’re a survivor. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to survive. You are here,so you obviously choose correctly. It’s okay,hold your head up,you didn’t do anything wrong. I hope you continue to heal.
Been a therapist for over 20 years and this story and Jacks insight and healing brought me so much hope! You’re amazing Jack! Keep going❤ God loves you!!!
can you please leave YOUR religion out of it? ... a product of rape, abused at 4 until 12 then again til 14, addicted to drugs....and this was all god's plan? your license should be put into question for this insanity.
I went to school with Jack and he was hands down one of the absolute nicest human beings. Watching this, listening to your story is so beyond impactful, I can’t even put into words. You are helping us out here with being ok with opening up about our traumas. We are all definitely not alone. No one can ever take our power from ourselves and you sir are reminding me and all the rest of us just that. I give you all the credit in the world Jack! Inspirational. ❤
Hi Heidi. Norway 🇳🇴 calling. Sorry to bother you like this in the comments on this very important health and recovery interview. But as I'm listening to this really profound story and his mental and personal travel, I started thinking 🤔 my my. He looks Scandinavian... So before I start googleling, maybe you have some facts about the area you live in, in Massachusetts? Maybe some places and names, or surnames. That'll give me some pointers 😅 appreciate all help. It sounds like a lovely family. ❤
He seems like an awesome guy, no matter what we do, how bad our lives become or our past, Jesus Christ is the answer & I know this from experience! He looks over & forgives all of our flaws & mess ups & loves us so much that He gave His life for ours! I’m so happy that I know Him & He knows me! ❤ & 🙏🏻 to all
@@sallylink6329 Jesus Christ is not the answer. For you maybe…but that’s not everyone else’s story. Don’t be so presumptuous….we’re not all religious. I’m an atheist and have 13 years of sobriety that I’ve achieved from a ton of hard work…and support from loved ones….and medical care. My sobriety is no less important because I didn’t seek help from “Jesus”.
When he said “I chose the Devil I know for the Devil I did not know”….. it opened up secrets I have struggled with for almost 60 years. I hope you’re ok. You’re special.
"The first time I took opiates that were not prescribed to me, I immediately felt like nothing bad had ever happened to me..." All of us who have trauma of any kind and have turned to addiction will relate to that statement. Hands down. And all the people wondering why anyone would ever do drugs... that is the answer. May we all be healed.
Oh my goodness, Jack, when you described opiates...same happened to me by a family member, and when I took opiates, it felt like the last puzzle piece was finally in place; I had found my rose colored glasses. I was 17. But everything it gave me in the beginning....it took from me in the end. I'm 65 now and I now take Methadone. I still have the nightmares, and added to that severe depression.
U don't have to have trauma to relate to that statement. The drugs just made him feel good, happy and confident, As to why most people get addicted formed habits. drugs dont dismiss trauma. I was addicted to opiate pills aswell
I'm a recovered opioid addict. While watching these presentations, on numerous times, I've called BS on things people said. This man is the most honest and sincere testimony I've ever heard. May The Most High God bless him and keep him during the rest of his days.
@@Jaspergiraffelmbooo why tho? What does your questioning her beliefs accomplish? Like what is your end goal? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But somehow you pinpointed just that in their comment to push your hatred towards God. Shat-up. May the cookie monster bless this man. He is currently too busy to address your question though so no need to ask me where my cookie God was.
What purpose does it serve you in causing doubt or arguing against other people's belief? Does that make you happy? Really, such a waste of your time. Put it to better use. What other people believe is not your business.
Only 1/4 way through this video and I'm already speechless. From the moment he said his moms story wasnt his to tell, I knew this man had something so pure and beautiful inside of him despite what traumas he has endured. He truly is beautiful soul.
they did turn him into a monster, they made him into a drug addict snake that didn't notice one of his drug partners were killing herself on the phone with him. He managed to get clean up and sober but he was a monster for a portion of his life.
@@fullredplatinumI was a monster for a long time, and I own that part of my life. If I could somehow change the hurt I’ve caused I would, but all I can do is reflect and make sure I do not ever behave in that manner again. I do the best I can.
"to the right person... this can save their life." Thank you, Mark. Jack, I'm on the other side of the world, after seeing this, I Think, I may have found the inspiration to finally go clean. Thank you.
Go for it, I'm 55 my story is similar but different. But getting med free was too late for me I have already destroyed my body. Go , go now and try to get rehab.
@@jonicko4517😮 From drug use? I'm clean for 16 days again...😅 But I used drugs since I was 14. I'm 54 now!! It's scary. I hope you are doing okay❤❤❤❤from Amsterdam, the Netherlands 🇳🇱
@@microgers206 You CAN get clean! Give yourself the chance! Life is so much harder in active addiction than it ever could be clean & sober. I found my 41 y.o. husband dead on 10•30•21 from a fentanyl overdose. You deserve so much better & so do your loved ones 💜🙏.
This is hands down the best interview I’ve ever watched! The way Jack is able to take his pain and turn it to positivity is incredible! You kept asking what was the definition of a man, n it’s you bud! You’re a hell of a man Jack! Much respect
I'm also an SA survivor from a young age and turned to IV opiates to numb the pain. I've been sober 13 years now, and everything Jack said resonates with me. I hope people hearing this story know that the junkies in their lives and the junkies on their streets are medicating hidden pain, and there is more to everyone's story than meets the eye. May we all be kind and find ways to help each other.
We numb to survive because we are usually the type that can’t hurt a fly- Our minds can’t understand how. I love you unconditionally for sharing this moment of reflection with a fellow friend 🫶🏻
13 years sober is amazing and I am so happy for you. I am in recovery myself I have 1127 days. Yep, I’m still counting those days. And that’s OK I might count those days the rest of my life. But every day I stay clean and I stay sober I have a fighting chance of living to see another day.😊
People who do these unspeakable acts on children and even adults have no idea what permanent damage they cause even if it's just a one time thing. I'm going on 52 years old and still struggle with my past. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to all of my survivor brothers and sisters. 😢💔❤️🩹🙏🙏🙏
They know, they really know, they just don't care. They're narcissists or psychopaths and couldn't care less about your trauma or pain. You should focus only on yourself, on your healing or at maximum on getting some justice or trying to stop your abuser from doing it to others. You should make peace with the fact that for this person that event meant nothing but a few moments of pleasure for them and they don't care that others suffered for it.
As kids, my late father and his younger brother (also passed) were put into foster care during the Great Depression, and I know that something bad happened to him there. Bad enough so that he wet the bed till he had to serve in WWI, which was a whole different sort of bad. I don't think he ever got over either badness.
Jack, when you reached out to the camera and said "you matter" and then Mark agreed with you, I was overcome with breath taking sobs. I didnt even know how much I needed to hear that. This whole interview was a gift. Thank you.
I had to comment, I had to. This video blew my mind. The way Jack spoke with such honesty, humility and courage. Such beauty in his love and compassion towards others, especially Hutch. What an incredible, beautiful human you are Jack. Thank you, thank you for sharing your story with us. You are a true inspiration to so many.
I grew up with Jack. He has always been the most genuinely nice person you will ever meet. He was super popular & always looked like a movie star but was always the most down to Earth, kind person. He's to this day a great guy
@@bpxdurangoinc7013I hope you're not talking about Jack. He's a fantastic person. I know him personally, and everyone that does will tell you he's a great guy
I'm 14 minutes in and I am so impressed at how emotionally smart and analytical this person is. Wow! 42 minutes in....he is so honest. There is no BS there. No excuse.
I’ve come across people like Jack who choose to see the good in everyone and everything and back in my young age i’d always thought they were naive. But I now realize that people like them, as Jack said, are rare gems. And we should cherish and hold them close and safe if we ever have the pleasure of crossing paths with them. Thanks for a great video Jack and Mark.
The ability Jack has to turn an evil act that caused incredible trauma into a positive is something so rare and infinitely precious. Jack, you are an inspiration and we are all blessed by you sharing your experiences.
Did you actually watch the whole thing, he was ok with a woman being dead? I sympathise with what happened to him as a kid, but he was a coward and selfish as an adult.
@@EaleneYou're saying it as if recovery is something that happened TO him of which he was the passive recipient. Recovering is only made possible if we change our thinking. Reframing his experiences and seeing the gift in every dark situation, is an incredibly rare ability. I would say that that played a big part in him recovering to the extent that he did, which only the smallest percentage of heroine addicts ever achieve.
The operative word being "was". Addicts often lose their values, morals and who they are, anything to get their needs satisfied, and that almost always means being selfish. He has recovered and is brutally honest about his past actions and choices. He's not blaming anything on anyone other than himself. In other words, he's a changed man who takes responsibility for what he did. Summerhill's comment is an acknowledgement of the person he is now. Why would you still judge a person on their past?
You kept yourself physically safe that day, Jack. Horrible that you had to make that decision as a 13 year old boy -- you were in an unimaginably vulnerable and dangerous situation, you did the right thing that day. May you be blessed every day for the rest of your days.
dont know if one could say he did the right thing that day,it definitely had a negative affect on his soul not standing up to the deception and letting it,the deception, proceed. not knocking him as one cant judge if never in that position he was obviously in a state of shock realising this guy,his coach,trickd him into makin a young boys dream come true,i cant imagine the level of shock as a guy an only 13 years of age an an admirer of girls myself being trapped in this level of deception,its unimaginable.becos the 13 yr old mind is not mature enuff to process what is actually goin on in that moment,so even if he did halt that demonised individuals intentions that day there is no way of knowing his life woulda turned different,he will never know,but he has learned to let it go and forgiven himself which is the life learning lesson here i feel
When Jack says that Dace made him a better person...😢I actually think that because he knows that he was conceived through trauma and was shown love by his Mum and family, he would have already been made aware and have had the narrative that good can still come out of bad situations...truly a great guy and big ups to his Mum. Bless you both ❤
I am speechless. This may be the strongest man in the world, being able to move forward and speak of his journey in such a clear, concise, and brutal way. Incredibly impactful. He has the ability to help so many people move forward. I hope he uses his gift.
Wow! This is what internal healing and the tough self work looks like. He is calm, introspective, self aware and poignant. Thank you Jack for being vulnerable, real, and honest. You're a success story, you're worthy, and deserves peace and wholesome love. Keep on keeping on
This man gives the impression of being a kind, gentle, and genuine soul. He went through a lot but does not seem resentful. We need more people like him.
❤we don't nééd people like him, we need to be as gracious and self aware. Much love to him, the same age age range as my two sons that went through many same scenarios as him🕊️💕❤️
I believe the general public needs to be more aware of who is preying on their kids. It is ALMOST ALWAYS someone you know, relative or family friend. I can count on one hand the women I know that have NOT been sexually assaulted in one way or the other as children. People need to talk about it. They need to realize what makes their children vulnerable. Decades ago it was one in five girls. I believe it is much higher than that. They do not have a good statistic on boys due to not reporting or the nature but it is probably just as the women.
I do not comment on these videos much or ever, I just love listening to people’s stories, but I would just like to say that this man is just an incredible soul. He radiates positive energy through the screen while talking about the most heinous experiences he’s endured. What an amazing soul. I hope he receives all the love back that he’s put out into this world ✌🏼🫶
To be able to face the darkest part of yourself and be honest about how dark you can be and move forward takes the most incredible type of human. The world needs more Jacks.
“The whole time I was whole, I just didn’t know it” THIS!!!!! I am forever changed by this interview. Jack the way you spoke with such eloquence shows that you have done the work and you are WHOLE! I wish nothing but the best for you and anyone attached to you in this life and beyond. Mark you do amazing work! Bless you both ❤
Nobody has ever understood or explained opioid addiction like he did. I've said it so long as to why. This man is amazing. I struggled for 15 yrs from opioid abuse for similar reasons, been clean 5 . So glad I made it out
As a person from the East Coast, this guy’s honesty is a quintessential example of how we grow up back home on the East Coast. I admire him so much for laying out all of the painful experiences, so that we all learn from them. This guy is an amazing man and I wish him nothing but great things in this life.
@@atmywhitson. The story had an East Coast flavor and this speaker has characteristics that are unique to East Coast culture. I think that’s what was meant, not that honesty only happens in that subculture. I had a foster parent from the East who was very influential to me (and others) and I see what they’re talking about! ❤
This is one of the most incredible interviews on this channel. What a valuable insight into how trauma Impacts someone for the rest of their lives. How brave he is for telling this story. I am blown away.
I did not want this interview to end. Jack, you are loved. I hope that you realize the impact that you’ve made by simply speaking on this channel and I’m sure that you will go forward with many more positive impacts on our society.
Jack, I came across your video again and it still holds truth. I too was molested as a child by my cousin for over 10 yrs. I had no self worth. I was feeling guilty not telling anyone, letting it go on for so long and thinking it was my fault. I was groomed immensely. I had what you call the “Stockholm Syndrome”. I know now I was the victim and he the predator. I’ve been sober for 14 months. I’ll be 56 the 29th of Feb. It’s taken over 30 yrs. to finally be at peace. I’ve forgiven him and I’m gonna be ok. I hope all is good with you and your son. Stay strong and God Bless You Jack. ❤❤❤
My mom had a spirit like Hutch. She took her own life back in 2016. To sum it up, there’s lots of big reasons my mom was referred to by everyone in our town as an angel long before her passing. Thank God for people like her and and Hutch. Their kindness, love and legacy lives on in all the lives of the people they’ve touched. Thank you Jack for sharing your story, you’re more of a Hutch than you realize
maybe the best interview I’ve watched of yers so far. said so many profound statements that will stick with me for life. n he’s correct about the ripple effect these interviews will have because his just changed my life. very emotional. love love love.
“Once you learn how to ride a bike, walking somewhere just seems so ridiculous!” Wow! I legitimately FELT that!! Our stories & our REDEMPTION are so similar, Jack! May God bless you & your beautiful family!
One thing this man fails to realize is how GREAT and wonderful and self aware he is. He gave everyone so much credit, even his predators (BOTH of them), but he never credited himself for getting to where he is and to express himself so eloquently. He needs to celebrate himself and give himself a pat on the back... I pray he remains well and true to himself. God bless ❤
Was the first situation a predator? He said the first situation was exploration with another person? Was that person also a minor? If so, it may have been normal exploration among minors of the same age. If it was an adult, of course, it was predatory.
@@alexsheppard153 first situation was 2 boys experimenting sexually. Friends. He was doomed to be preyed upon, but ha, he came out on top and became a better human, better man, better friend, better son, better neighbor for it! Bad can always be turned into good.
I came across Soft White Underbelly by chance a few weeks ago. It has been the best channel I have ever watched. As a social worker, I hear stories like this everyday. The power of resilience is amazing and hearing these stories shed some light on how many persevere. Thank you for the work you do!
As an SA survivor... it hit me hard when he described viewing the abuse like he was watching a movie and not in his own body. Im also an addict. Thank you brother
Yes! So awkward...I don't like to put a name on things sometimes but look up disassociation disorder I feel like I'm watching myself all the time a complete outta body experience...prayers for your recovery!
I was not shocked at all to hear that this man's life was touched by Hutch. My life was touched by Hutch and the only place I was exposed to him was here, thanks to you. You're doing great things by shining a light on the people who don't move in everyone's circles at once so that they can impact us one circle of people at a time. There's a lot of love in this guy's words, and a lot of love that comes through in the work that you do. Thank you.
My favorite interview. If someone watched this and felt no impact, they need to check their pulse. We all can impact this world in some small way... He said beautifully how much these interviews can change a heart. I hope Jack realizes the impact he's made. Without any reason to feel proud of him..I feel proud. May he receive the blessings he deserves, and continues to speak words that help others, and in doing that, he continues to heal himself. Today will be a better day after watching this. Thank you both!❤
This is a person that truly worked the programs , paid attention to what real Counselors and Therapist said to them, absorbed the information, learned to COPE and came out the otherside a better person. This is the result of hard work. ❤
"Everything we do is either an act of love or an act of fear. (Once you see that. You have no choice except to be loving)" Mark you made that quote even stronger. Much Luv to all.
Well said, Mark. Your interviews are indeed a mirror of our society. Anyone commenting that you’re “exploiting” your subjects are simply unwilling to accept societal reality. This country is hard…and to those living the great lie of “Leave It To Beaver” living…God bless them. But we truly appreciate you, Mark. Thank you for sharing reality and giving a voice to these individuals who don’t think they matter. Just like Jack said…they DO matter…regardless of the hell through which they’ve been.
I have to thank both Jack and Mark for this video. It took immense counage for Jack to do a video like this. I am humbled by his courage. Mark, this video in particular will spread waves of light and hope we cannot even fathom today. Not all of us live out our calling, but Mark most certainly is through this channel. Thank you both.
Jack is very open and honest. But he needs to take one more vitally important step. Ask the Lord to help Jack to commit his life to God. God said, " There is not one righteous, no not one." We We ALL have sinned and gone astray, but God has placed on Him, Jesus, the iniquity of us all. JOHN 3;16. Jesus gives true peace and forgives all sinners. Jack, you are not meant to live a fragmented life. You seem to be open to truth. God has wonderful plans for your life. Please give Him a chance, and. GOD bless you always!
@florairvan8305 please keep your religious beliefs to yourself. Many of us have suffered SA at the hands of so-called 'men of god' We are all capable of dealing with trauma without the bible being shoved down out throats.
Not shoving anything down your. throat. Comments directed to Jack and him only.If my message was irritating, simply ignore and "move on down the road......🚸
Oh wow! What a wonderful man Jack is. This video brought me to tears when he talked about Hutch, and how love is the answer. His kindness, compassion, his self reflection, how wonderfully calming he is when he tells his story. No wonder this vid has had 1m views. May it get many many more. Thank you 🙏
I like how Jack had so many good things to say about other people and wasn't willing to badmouth anyone and at the same time held himself to a high standard (probably higher than he holds other people to) and took complete responsibility (and then some). It's a good character trait.
@Jack ~ I am going to be 74y.o.this year. I am a survivor and have *ALWAYS* thought of myself as less than. Since listening to this video I have made a commitment to myself . . . I am going to (try) to tell myself I have value, that I matter. I'd love to love myself, forgive myself, and be gentle with myself before I pass away. One thing I know for certain, without any doubts . . . absolutely everything happens for a reason, there are no coincedences. Thank you for allowing Mark to interview you. No coincedence I heard exactly what I needed to hear today. I wish you well
@gretchenlKlein you are beautiful and amazing and you have ALWAYS had value and you have ALWAYS mattered no matter what you’ve been through. Always remember that 🩷
I recorded (on cassette tape!) myself repeating out loud, those positive affirmations. It wasn't easy to say some out loud. I listened to that tape every morning and every night. Repetition strengthens and confirms. I tried to carry it around on paper. I always forgot to read it. It was Pia Melody that gave me the idea to record myself. These days it's so easy to with our mini personal computers.
We are in this world together, I will be 72 in October, it's so strange I never thought what happened to me would even be a thought in my 70s mind. You never forget.😢 It's just like you can never take back something once it's said and you will never forget trauma. 😢
This man has to be the most compassionate father around. God bless him and his heart for being able to still love so much through all the awful experiences and hate.
This is dark man, what an incredible disposition this man has. Can tell he’s a great man, this is the exact reason why you don’t mess with people and always treat them with respect, looking at him you would never guess something this sinister could’ve happened to him during his childhood. Respect everyone, always.
What an unforgettable line: " I went with the devil I did know to escape the devil I didn't know." Powerful right there. All this is still so damaging for Jack; he didn't make eye solid eye contact while talking. What an incredible story of triumph over trauma.
I never realized it until you said this. But the way he looks off and around is exactly what I do with my eyes when talking about the horrible things I went through as well.
He made a lot of "solid eye contact". Yeah, he looked in one direction and the other at times, he was looking into the camera often. I understand where you're coming from, but, I think you weren't completely paying attention.
There are other reasons for not making eye contact. Autistic people are uncomfortable making eye contact to a varying degree. I can do it by cheating and looking at a point on someone's face so I'm looking in the direction of their eyes, other people can't even manage to look at the face of the person they're interacting with. Note that I'm not suggesting that Jack is autistic, I'm just using this to highlight the point that there are other reasons for certain behaviours that you might not immediately know about so it's important to remember not to make assumptions.
The clarity Jack has is incredible. This is so powerful because it shows that an unexamined life is not worth living. Powerful to see how one man can transform his life through investigation. Thank you 🙏🏼
This is one profound meeting of two men sharing and caring. I realise some folk will not like what I am going to say, and I would tell them its ok. These Men here, Jack and Mark have the love of Jesus Christ coursing through their veins. You do not have to be a believer yet, however that does not mean you are not an instrument of the Lords will! Jack may you keep being an instrument living that beautiful purpose. Mark. Thankyou for what you are doing!
Mark, I don't think I've ever heard you get as emotional as you were in this video. I think the fact that Jack not only told an incredible story but did a mini interview with you is a great reflection of how deep his intentionality with people is
This was an interview I didn’t know I needed. I refrain from showing emotions as much as humanly possible but hearing Jack say that he was always whole, and the way he explained it, just impacted me in a way I never thought possible and I’m sitting here still crying like a baby at coming to the realization of myself.
It warms my heart to read this comment, thank you so much for taking the time to watch my interview. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the kind words.
@jackdoherty1412 I don't know if you will ever see this and I usually never comment online..but after watching your interview and listening to you speak so eloquently & beautifully about spreading love..I'm "doing it anyway". Your words have impacted me on a deep level. "I've been whole the whole time" will change my perspective and life going forward and I thank you. Wishing you nothing but beautiful days ahead. Keep being you ❤
One of the best ever. Aligned with, and illuminating of, that which serves the people who experience what this man has, along with the people who help those who have had such experiences. I'm a recovering addict. Abusing substances and behaving in addiction based ways also saved my life. Now I'm 2 years clean from my substance of choice, with 14 and 10 years in two different process addiction programs, and I'm so grateful to be alive after wanting out of this world for so many years. I'm so grateful for all who share their stories, as this brave, honest, amazing man has. More of these types of videos.!This is "attraction rather than promotion" (to recovery processes). Our jobs are not to fix people, we simply exemplify another way, and point the way to the tools and support when asked. Mentorship, experience, strength and hope. No judgment, all humility, reminding us anything is possible. Thank you and bless you Jack and Mark
I had Jack in my head, last week. It was a hard week. I was bawling my face off and in came Jacks voice . I thought i was damaged goods. No one wants damaged goods. But THIS video, is what came in my head, and knocked the negative out. Your videos and their stories, change lives. In amazing way. I am truly grateful for this channel. Thank you
This is such an amazing thing, thank you so much for taking the time to not only watch my interview but to also let me know it helped through a rough week. Means the world to me!!
Jack, just keep love in the forefront… be the kind of man you would have loved to have had for a Dad… and protect your son from the evil in this world. You are an amazing, awesome person. Please stay clean and be a “Hutch” to as many as possible. God loves you or you would not have survived. You are here by His grace and purpose… and you will always matter.❤
I can only wish the very best for Jack. He didn’t play the victim, he took responsibility for his actions, he made a conscious decision to change his life for the better. Well spoken, kind and you can feel that he has a heart full of love. May god bless you forever. You are and will be an amazing person and father. You are another Hutch. You will be a beacon for others lost.
Respect to you Jack for being accountable for your own decisions. Mark, i love how you ask the simple questions and allow the person to tell their story.
I’m on the verge of tears listening to this. No person deserves any of this, he was literally born with a significant disadvantage in life. Thank you for sharing your story sir. This is beyond profound.
This man is so good and so inherently kind. The staggering amount of empathy he shows towards everyone, including those who damaged him, is incredible! I think it’s because of this empathy he was able to work through all of the pain and suffering he endured. He is so honest and self aware and even when talking about his own shortcomings he doesn’t try to shift the blame. He owns everything- the good, bad, and the ugly. I am seriously rooting for his success as it’s clear how much work he’s put into becoming the man he is today ❤
he reminds me of myself good looks and well built body i looked 18 already when i was 15-16 prob why no one really tried any funny stuff but iv been told by many people and friends threw out my life that i give off this safe aura even they feel safe around me i was like what do u mean ? he said like for eexample he dont have to worry about my starting sht and calling him for help to back me up ect, funny my homie at the time who said that much older then me and been threw a dark life drugs, he used to be in a nazi gang even has the tatoo on his back had no idea i have never even had a fist fight in my life befor, what sht am i gona drag you into lol? he didn't believe me at first.. to this day im 29 and i have never lifted my hand to anyone my whole life nor have i ever been beat up or bullied its weird cause i had soo much anger and hate growing up mainly towards myself i guess. and im by no means a wimp or scared i even when to see a psychologist about my excess testosterones lvls and why im 15-16 and i look like im 18 naturally big exo skeleton eect... i could have fuked sht up if i wanted to but i just never did some how. I played rugby so i knew i was strong physically, i just avoided all the drama and bad vibes somehow, i was molested at a young age by my older brother there was truma i experienced, as big and strong that i was my heart was even bigger i guess lol. Big friendly giant i was never a threat to anyone and drug use lead me to my far bottom befor i realized how damaged i was and started to piece everything together and now i know exactly what happened, why it happened and who did it aswell it gave me closure knowing now and be able to understand
Beautiful and inspiring ! Check the England Dan and John Ford Coley "Love is the answer" song 🎵 ☺️ it's what was playing my head toward the end of your interview...
Absolutely blown away !!! This is one of the best , if not the best pieces of human documentation I’ve ever watched ! This man … his words … what a light ! I will be forever changed after watching this. This is so powerful! Thank you Mark .. Thank you Jack
Jack you really affected me with the way you told your story. Your love and beauty shine through.... One of the most honest and touching interviews that I have seen. Thank you for sharing your in such a touching way X
Jack's pure appreciation for Hutch and Mark, and ability to see true beauty in others and recognize opportunity to do better is captivating. I am so glad he allowed his own reckoning so he can become that light to someone else.
I’m 65 and my story is so closely related to yours. I not a victim, I’m a survivor. Since age 55 I feel more like a warrior! Peace be with you my friend ❤️
seeing a man being so vulnerable and honest...although it's such a sad story, I am glad to see this video. more men need to speak up and listen to each other and support each other, to heal and grow.... Jack I am so sorry you had the experiences you had... you are such an example of forgiveness, bravery and wisdom. thank you for sharing your story.
Mark, Jack and Hutch…thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I consider myself a cynical and seasoned mental health professional and I found all of what you’ve said to be both relatable and genuine. I sent my father, a Vietnam-era veteran, the link to hutch’s first interview and he really loved it. I love what you’re all doing and saying and it helps me to keep doing what I do and trying to help. ❤
Im a nonprofit founder for yourh, work in HR & grew up in an urban neighborhood with SA victims all around me. I am so proud of you. You are an amazing success story. You were so brave as a 13 year old. I'm so very sorry you & others have to experience such sick & evil people. Thank you for sharing & continue to share so you can save more lives!
You’re so loved Jacky.. Thanks for sharing your story friend. I’m thankful for you being here & beyond blessed to share a softball field with you.. you’re a strong and loving individual.. I’m lucky to call you my friend 🥰🥹
HE did not make you a better person. YOU did. YOU let his assault on you change you for the better. YOU decided to respond to his evil selfish act in a compassionate and sympathetic way. Please do not give that molester any credit for all of the good that YOU did for yourself. You're amazing and good and you are a survivor. Proud of you.
I thought the same thing.
Yeah Jack it was all you. But I completely understand what you mean by that.
💯 % correct!
Yes not everyone responds the way you did
My thoughts exactly 💯
This interview cannot get lost down the timeline. One of the most profound and impactful interviews to date.
Agreed
💯 % agreed.
I agree with you and I have a feeling I'll be coming back to this one more than once.
Absolutely...This guy is totally awesome!! Definitely has a head on his shoulders,,especially after all he's been thru
Agreed!!!
A grew up in Waltham and my brother went to school with Jack. He sent me this video. Mr. Dacey was also my teacher and we all were shocked when he was accused of the abuse. This is the first time that I am hearing actual accounts of what happened Jack, you are an amazing and strong person for telling your story. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different!
Thank you, your comment helped me find the trail information. And also found the article saying he died in 2007.
God Bless you Jack. God bless.
Do you know his last name or socials? Would love to keep up on him
You'd be surprised how many teachers, coaches etc in the school system are grooming minors. I was one of them for four years my business teacher tried and tried. I don't know where I found my wits about me because I had no support from my parents. I did not comply. Nonetheless, it did affect me in a way that I do not like to stand close to people; even my own family.
@@goldseraph7051 I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you can find inner peace.
You are a caring , well spoken, handsome young man. I pray all good things for you. You certainly deserve it.
When he said “my moms story isn’t mine to tell”. What a respectful son. Great interview
😊
Seriously…that’s what you got out of this
Hmm ... Isn't that obvious, since perception n perspective are different.
Thanks for sharing ur thoughts
@@LaKwahsLament I’m sorry do you want me to write a long paragraph detailing everything I enjoyed about this interview? Not going to happen. I watched the entire thing & enjoyed it. Why don’t you leave a comment Juan & hop off mine. Have a great day
@@ashleygthompson6313calm down. You big mad 😂😂
“ It would be a crime if you stopped doing your interviews “…….highest compliment Mark.
This man is pure love, despite all the pain, horror and evil he experienced in his life. Admirable. One of the best interviews on SWU.
Except that he and his wife got divorced--and blew a hole in their little boy's life--over infidelity, a forgivable thing.
@@LoanShoppingExpertI’m thinking that’s none of your business
I think that a lot of times!!!❤❤❤
@@MarsEdition I can think and say what I want when I want to say it. He and his wife got divorced--and blew a hole in their little boy's life--over infidelity, a forgivable thing.
@@LoanShoppingExpert sounds like you have your own unresolved issues you should focus on.
Hurt people hurt people until they find hope and learn they are enough. Then they can do immense good and break the cycle.
This is the hero's journey. Every one is a miracle.
Give this man a medal for his storytelling, redemption, and a contract for reading audiobooks!
I like how his voice sounds as well; I'm glad I'm not the only one
He has a gift with words for sure!!!!
he definitely has a way of speaking that makes you want to engage with him and listen, he would make a great motivational speaker!
Well, he IS a trained actor! Maybe he will see this and pursue that!
YES! I want him to know he truly has a gift!@@KallieCrader-Thrasher
“Tell me a situation that love does not help” will stick with me. Thank you, Jack.
Seriously xx
♥️
very true
I was molested by my step father from the time I was 8 years old until I was 12 and I pretended to be asleep every time he would come into my bed. When you described the feelings and the effects that came with not stopping the molestation, I broke down. Because to this day as an almost 21 year old woman, it effects me so much that I didn’t tell him to stop or maybe my body reacted in a way that made me question if I wanted it to happen. I’ve never had anyone understand or put into words how that feels. Thank you so much… I am so sorry that you understand what that feels like but it is so healing to hear someone else talk about it.
It takes courage, to share that here.
Sweet girl it is NEVER a child’s fault. Pedophelia is a mental disorder DSM 5. The only person that could stop him was adults. He Parents and your Mom. You are brave, strong and loved. Focus on those that love and protect you and those that you love. Not on those that hurt you. My son was CSA in his fathers house by his bigger, older step-brother. He left us because of self blame and shame. It is NOT a victims to carry. NOT your shame or blame. It is the pedophiles shame and every condoning adult allowing it. Every child deserves to grow in safety. I am a grieving Mom, school teacher and also formally trained victims advocate. I will say what victims should not say. It is almost unsayable. You are brave and you help others to be brave. There is strength and power in our voices. Pedophiles rely on silence! I am angry with adults that don’t protect their children. 🤬Maybe by talking I can help a Parent to protect!!! ❤
This kind of thing happened to me too when I was much younger (4 years old). And, it really confused me too. One of the things that really helped me process my feelings was having a professional tell me that it is very common to feel guilty about it and wonder if you were some how asking for it. Nearly everyone that goes through it feels like that. We are human and sex feels good. So, of course when it happens it feels good and is stimulating. But, that doesn't change the fact that you were a victim and a child and unable to consent or even really understand what was happening. Even if you did ask, you were not able to ask. I hope you have, or can find, someone to talk through it with.
14:24 devil he did know vs devil he didn’t know. That says it perfectly.
You’re a survivor. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to survive. You are here,so you obviously choose correctly. It’s okay,hold your head up,you didn’t do anything wrong. I hope you continue to heal.
This guys a hero. Maybe hero of his own history but still having the balls to do an interview like this will help a ton of people
Been a therapist for over 20 years and this story and Jacks insight and healing brought me so much hope! You’re amazing Jack! Keep going❤ God loves you!!!
🙏🏾🤎🫶🏾✨
This only proves gods are not real, but people are, it is people that fix things not magic men.
I like the one where the guy kills his perp. but they are equally powerful.
can you please leave YOUR religion out of it? ... a product of rape, abused at 4 until 12 then again til 14, addicted to drugs....and this was all god's plan? your license should be put into question for this insanity.
@@pauliuscs it proves that men do terrible things. That's all.
You're projecting your angst.
I went to school with Jack and he was hands down one of the absolute nicest human beings. Watching this, listening to your story is so beyond impactful, I can’t even put into words. You are helping us out here with being ok with opening up about our traumas. We are all definitely not alone. No one can ever take our power from ourselves and you sir are reminding me and all the rest of us just that. I give you all the credit in the world Jack! Inspirational. ❤
Nice guy wish the best for him in his life journey 😊
Hi Heidi. Norway 🇳🇴 calling.
Sorry to bother you like this in the comments on this very important health and recovery interview. But as I'm listening to this really profound story and his mental and personal travel, I started thinking 🤔 my my. He looks Scandinavian...
So before I start googleling, maybe you have some facts about the area you live in, in Massachusetts? Maybe some places and names, or surnames. That'll give me some pointers 😅 appreciate all help. It sounds like a lovely family. ❤
He seems like an awesome guy, no matter what we do, how bad our lives become or our past, Jesus Christ is the answer & I know this from experience! He looks over & forgives all of our flaws & mess ups & loves us so much that He gave His life for ours! I’m so happy that I know Him & He knows me! ❤ & 🙏🏻 to all
I never met him or had similar experiences, but I’ve had my own traumas and this story was so inspiring! Much respect to you, Jack. Best of luck 🙏🏾
@@sallylink6329
Jesus Christ is not the answer. For you maybe…but that’s not everyone else’s story. Don’t be so presumptuous….we’re not all religious. I’m an atheist and have 13 years of sobriety that I’ve achieved from a ton of hard work…and support from loved ones….and medical care.
My sobriety is no less important because I didn’t seek help from “Jesus”.
When he said “I chose the Devil I know for the Devil I did not know”….. it opened up secrets I have struggled with for almost 60 years. I hope you’re ok. You’re special.
"The first time I took opiates that were not prescribed to me, I immediately felt like nothing bad had ever happened to me..."
All of us who have trauma of any kind and have turned to addiction will relate to that statement. Hands down. And all the people wondering why anyone would ever do drugs... that is the answer.
May we all be healed.
Oh my goodness, Jack, when you described opiates...same happened to me by a family member, and when I took opiates, it felt like the last puzzle piece was finally in place; I had found my rose colored glasses. I was 17. But everything it gave me in the beginning....it took from me in the end. I'm 65 now and I now take Methadone. I still have the nightmares, and added to that severe depression.
U don't have to have trauma to relate to that statement. The drugs just made him feel good, happy and confident, As to why most people get addicted formed habits. drugs dont dismiss trauma. I was addicted to opiate pills aswell
@@paulalowery7411thats the methadone giving u depression. Try tapering and stopping the (meth)adone
ABSOLUTELY 🎯 literally perfectly worded 💯
I'm a recovered opioid addict. While watching these presentations, on numerous times, I've called BS on things people said. This man is the most honest and sincere testimony I've ever heard. May The Most High God bless him and keep him during the rest of his days.
HalleluYah!
@@Jaspergiraffelmbooo why tho? What does your questioning her beliefs accomplish? Like what is your end goal?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But somehow you pinpointed just that in their comment to push your hatred towards God. Shat-up.
May the cookie monster bless this man. He is currently too busy to address your question though so no need to ask me where my cookie God was.
Called BS on ppls life experiences and abuse? 🤔
@@Jaspergiraffe- Same place He/It always is: nowhere.
What purpose does it serve you in causing doubt or arguing against other people's belief? Does that make you happy? Really, such a waste of your time. Put it to better use. What other people believe is not your business.
Only 1/4 way through this video and I'm already speechless. From the moment he said his moms story wasnt his to tell, I knew this man had something so pure and beautiful inside of him despite what traumas he has endured. He truly is beautiful soul.
I'm sobbing.
That’s what recovery looks like
This guy makes me wanna be a more loving person. He endured things that could have turned him into a monster but he seems so kind and genuine.
He was a fucking monster
Because he had such a wonderful mother ❤ wish I had the same lmao
they did turn him into a monster, they made him into a drug addict snake that didn't notice one of his drug partners were killing herself on the phone with him. He managed to get clean up and sober but he was a monster for a portion of his life.
@@fullredplatinumI was a monster for a long time, and I own that part of my life. If I could somehow change the hurt I’ve caused I would, but all I can do is reflect and make sure I do not ever behave in that manner again. I do the best I can.
@@jackunmaskedGreat introspective look at ones self. Very hard to do but some are capable.
"to the right person... this can save their life." Thank you, Mark.
Jack, I'm on the other side of the world, after seeing this, I Think, I may have found the inspiration to finally go clean. Thank you.
Go for it, I'm 55 my story is similar but different. But getting med free was too late for me I have already destroyed my body. Go , go now and try to get rehab.
Rooting for you homie! I just passed 6 and a half years last month. If you ever need a friend come back here and holler at me!
❣🙏
I had almost same story. Now 4 brain surgeries from drug use....😢move forward
@@jonicko4517😮 From drug use?
I'm clean for 16 days again...😅
But I used drugs since I was 14. I'm 54 now!! It's scary.
I hope you are doing okay❤❤❤❤from Amsterdam, the Netherlands 🇳🇱
I grew up with Jack. Absolutely awesome guy. One of the most genuinely nice people you will ever meet. It's amazing to see him thriving like this ❤
Chris, thanks so much for the kind words. And I appreciate you taking the time to watch this video, it means the world to me brother.
Man I'm so happy to see you thriving. You deserve the world man! You've always been an amazing person!
@jackdoherty1412 I hold you in a high regard...you're one of my brothers and I love and miss you man. I hope you truly know that.
Man I wish I could get clean and get my life back. Thanks for doing this interview @jackdoherty1412
@@microgers206 You CAN get clean! Give yourself the chance! Life is so much harder in active addiction than it ever could be clean & sober. I found my 41 y.o. husband dead on 10•30•21 from a fentanyl overdose. You deserve so much better & so do your loved ones 💜🙏.
This is hands down the best interview I’ve ever watched! The way Jack is able to take his pain and turn it to positivity is incredible! You kept asking what was the definition of a man, n it’s you bud! You’re a hell of a man Jack! Much respect
Totally🎉 What a humble beautiful soul, he is!
Jack needs a movie done on his life. His raw honest and self awareness is so compelling. You're a warrior Jack.
I'm also an SA survivor from a young age and turned to IV opiates to numb the pain. I've been sober 13 years now, and everything Jack said resonates with me. I hope people hearing this story know that the junkies in their lives and the junkies on their streets are medicating hidden pain, and there is more to everyone's story than meets the eye. May we all be kind and find ways to help each other.
Proud of you stranger!!!! 13 years is bad ass!!
We numb to survive because we are usually the type that can’t hurt a fly- Our minds can’t understand how. I love you unconditionally for sharing this moment of reflection with a fellow friend 🫶🏻
Sending you loving kindness.
13 years sober is amazing and I am so happy for you. I am in recovery myself I have 1127 days. Yep, I’m still counting those days. And that’s OK I might count those days the rest of my life. But every day I stay clean and I stay sober I have a fighting chance of living to see another day.😊
❤
People who do these unspeakable acts on children and even adults have no idea what permanent damage they cause even if it's just a one time thing. I'm going on 52 years old and still struggle with my past. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to all of my survivor brothers and sisters. 😢💔❤️🩹🙏🙏🙏
They know, they really know, they just don't care. They're narcissists or psychopaths and couldn't care less about your trauma or pain. You should focus only on yourself, on your healing or at maximum on getting some justice or trying to stop your abuser from doing it to others. You should make peace with the fact that for this person that event meant nothing but a few moments of pleasure for them and they don't care that others suffered for it.
Praying!
As kids, my late father and his younger brother (also passed) were put into foster care during the Great Depression, and I know that something bad happened to him there. Bad enough so that he wet the bed till he had to serve in WWI, which was a whole different sort of bad. I don't think he ever got over either badness.
🙏❤
@@ciobalina7445Some are SA victims themselves and repeat the terrible behavior as a result. All need therapy and to be punished.
Jack, when you reached out to the camera and said "you matter" and then Mark agreed with you, I was overcome with breath taking sobs. I didnt even know how much I needed to hear that. This whole interview was a gift. Thank you.
I was reading this comment when he said that ...cool coincidence..
I was reading your comment 💞🙏🏽
@warypoppins I will tell you as well “you matter” sending you a big hug.
I had to comment, I had to. This video blew my mind. The way Jack spoke with such honesty, humility and courage. Such beauty in his love and compassion towards others, especially Hutch. What an incredible, beautiful human you are Jack. Thank you, thank you for sharing your story with us. You are a true inspiration to so many.
Exactly what I was thinking! I plan to share this with some people hoping it shines light into their dark places the way his story brightened mine.
This man is hard to like. He is a criminal and he has caused the worst damage to others
I grew up with Jack. He has always been the most genuinely nice person you will ever meet. He was super popular & always looked like a movie star but was always the most down to Earth, kind person. He's to this day a great guy
@@bpxdurangoinc7013I hope you're not talking about Jack. He's a fantastic person. I know him personally, and everyone that does will tell you he's a great guy
@@bpxdurangoinc7013he literally had Buffalo Bill tying him up! He is a Survivor and he is a repenter
I'm 14 minutes in and I am so impressed at how emotionally smart and analytical this person is. Wow!
42 minutes in....he is so honest. There is no BS there. No excuse.
He really knows himself quite well. That takes courage and hard work.
He called his mother by him twice..
@@SlapShox-vp4fp
i don't understand what u wrote
I’ve come across people like Jack who choose to see the good in everyone and everything and back in my young age i’d always thought they were naive. But I now realize that people like them, as Jack said, are rare gems. And we should cherish and hold them close and safe if we ever have the pleasure of crossing paths with them. Thanks for a great video Jack and Mark.
The ability Jack has to turn an evil act that caused incredible trauma into a positive is something so rare and infinitely precious. Jack, you are an inspiration and we are all blessed by you sharing your experiences.
This ❤
HE didn't turn it into a positive thing. Recovery did.
Did you actually watch the whole thing, he was ok with a woman being dead? I sympathise with what happened to him as a kid, but he was a coward and selfish as an adult.
@@EaleneYou're saying it as if recovery is something that happened TO him of which he was the passive recipient. Recovering is only made possible if we change our thinking. Reframing his experiences and seeing the gift in every dark situation, is an incredibly rare ability. I would say that that played a big part in him recovering to the extent that he did, which only the smallest percentage of heroine addicts ever achieve.
The operative word being "was". Addicts often lose their values, morals and who they are, anything to get their needs satisfied, and that almost always means being selfish. He has recovered and is brutally honest about his past actions and choices. He's not blaming anything on anyone other than himself. In other words, he's a changed man who takes responsibility for what he did. Summerhill's comment is an acknowledgement of the person he is now. Why would you still judge a person on their past?
This man and his story is the true power of redemption. SWU is absolutely necessary Mark. Your work is changing lives, period.
Yes! I was so happy to hear Mark getting the credit for his work. Only a person who neglects to listen with their heart can only think extortion.
You kept yourself physically safe that day, Jack. Horrible that you had to make that decision as a 13 year old boy -- you were in an unimaginably vulnerable and dangerous situation, you did the right thing that day.
May you be blessed every day for the rest of your days.
What a beautiful comment. Thank you.
Yes. He definitely kept himself from harm. Scary to imagine being alone with someone who’d shown you their anger.
Amen to that ❤
dont know if one could say he did the right thing that day,it definitely had a negative affect on his soul not standing up to the deception and letting it,the deception, proceed. not knocking him as one cant judge if never in that position
he was obviously in a state of shock realising this guy,his coach,trickd him into makin a young boys dream come true,i cant imagine the level of shock as a guy an only 13 years of age an an admirer of girls myself being trapped in this level of deception,its unimaginable.becos the 13 yr old mind is not mature enuff to process what is actually goin on in that moment,so even if he did halt that demonised individuals intentions that day there is no way of knowing his life woulda turned different,he will never know,but he has learned to let it go and forgiven himself which is the life learning lesson here i feel
When Jack says that Dace made him a better person...😢I actually think that because he knows that he was conceived through trauma and was shown love by his Mum and family, he would have already been made aware and have had the narrative that good can still come out of bad situations...truly a great guy and big ups to his Mum. Bless you both ❤
I am speechless. This may be the strongest man in the world, being able to move forward and speak of his journey in such a clear, concise, and brutal way.
Incredibly impactful. He has the ability to help so many people move forward. I hope he uses his gift.
Wow! This is what internal healing and the tough self work looks like. He is calm, introspective, self aware and poignant. Thank you Jack for being vulnerable, real, and honest. You're a success story, you're worthy, and deserves peace and wholesome love. Keep on keeping on
Well said. Thanks for expressing the thoughts of many of us so well.
ALL YOU YOU/us deserve peace and LOVE and respect and I pray that you get it. Bless you all.
This man gives the impression of being a kind, gentle, and genuine soul. He went through a lot but does not seem resentful. We need more people like him.
He is not people, he is a man...
❤we don't nééd people like him, we need to be as gracious and self aware. Much love to him, the same age age range as my two sons that went through many same scenarios as him🕊️💕❤️
He needs the gospel as we all do
I believe the general public needs to be more aware of who is preying on their kids. It is ALMOST ALWAYS someone you know, relative or family friend. I can count on one hand the women I know that have NOT been sexually assaulted in one way or the other as children. People need to talk about it. They need to realize what makes their children vulnerable. Decades ago it was one in five girls. I believe it is much higher than that. They do not have a good statistic on boys due to not reporting or the nature but it is probably just as the women.
I do not comment on these videos much or ever, I just love listening to people’s stories, but I would just like to say that this man is just an incredible soul. He radiates positive energy through the screen while talking about the most heinous experiences he’s endured. What an amazing soul. I hope he receives all the love back that he’s put out into this world ✌🏼🫶
Now, 60 day's sober from alcoholism. Your videos help me so much Mark thank you
Congratulations!! Keep on fighting the good fight!
@@moondog9086 thank you so much 💞
That's great! ❤️
I'm trying to get 1 day
Keep going!
To be able to face the darkest part of yourself and be honest about how dark you can be and move forward takes the most incredible type of human. The world needs more Jacks.
“The whole time I was whole, I just didn’t know it” THIS!!!!! I am forever changed by this interview. Jack the way you spoke with such eloquence shows that you have done the work and you are WHOLE! I wish nothing but the best for you and anyone attached to you in this life and beyond. Mark you do amazing work! Bless you both ❤
Yes I loved that particular insight he experienced.
Amen 😢
Yes ...when he said that it took my back....I was never broken always whole...❤
Mark your the best
This man is so beautiful, I bet he’s an amazing dad to his son💜 so sorry for what you went through🥹🫶🏼
Nobody has ever understood or explained opioid addiction like he did. I've said it so long as to why. This man is amazing. I struggled for 15 yrs from opioid abuse for similar reasons, been clean 5 . So glad I made it out
Me as well❤❤❤God bless we’re alive, clean 12 years
Congratulations ❤😊 my sober date is August 12th, 2012. I'm SO happy and proud of you for making it out.
Congrats on sobriety! 👏🏽👏🏽
@melissawells5779 God is good!! Congratulations to you for your sobriety!! 🤍🎊👏🤍
POWERFULLY BRUTALLY F A C T S !!! Spoken honestly from the heart. Thank You. 🙏 ❤❤
As a person from the East Coast, this guy’s honesty is a quintessential example of how we grow up back home on the East Coast. I admire him so much for laying out all of the painful experiences, so that we all learn from them. This guy is an amazing man and I wish him nothing but great things in this life.
I was thinking the same thing... I'm pretty sure we all have a " scully" here also lol.. 🤍😘
Fellow New Englander. Absolutely agree.
I doubt this is exclusive to the East Coast but I understand what you all are saying.
🙏🏻 best of luck to you all.
@@atmywhitson. The story had an East Coast flavor and this speaker has characteristics that are unique to East Coast culture. I think that’s what was meant, not that honesty only happens in that subculture. I had a foster parent from the East who was very influential to me (and others) and I see what they’re talking about! ❤
You’re someone’s hutch now, Jack. Proud of you and your accomplishments. Keep going ❤
Agree 100%
Yess! This👆🏻
As someone who worked in mental health & and adfictions, i applaud Jack for his courage to tell his story & lessons learned.
“What is a man” you sir are a beautiful example of one. I was totally engrossed in your story and blown away by your honesty. Thank you for sharing ❤
This is one of the most incredible interviews on this channel. What a valuable insight into how trauma Impacts someone for the rest of their lives. How brave he is for telling this story. I am blown away.
Tak, ta rozmowa jest wyjątkowa.
Me too. Completely amazed and awe inspiring
I did not want this interview to end. Jack, you are loved. I hope that you realize the impact that you’ve made by simply speaking on this channel and I’m sure that you will go forward with many more positive impacts on our society.
One of the aspects he taps into is the duality of the human experience; it astounds me every damn time! Profound interview. I cannot rave enough. 🤞🏽
Jack, I came across your video again and it still holds truth. I too was molested as a child by my cousin for over 10 yrs. I had no self worth. I was feeling guilty not telling anyone, letting it go on for so long and thinking it was my fault. I was groomed immensely. I had what you call the “Stockholm Syndrome”. I know now I was the victim and he the predator. I’ve been sober for 14 months. I’ll be 56 the 29th of Feb. It’s taken over 30 yrs. to finally be at peace. I’ve forgiven him and I’m gonna be ok. I hope all is good with you and your son. Stay strong and God Bless You Jack. ❤❤❤
Happy Belated Birthday 🎉🎉 ❤
@@kikiwilliams6944 thank you
@@kikiwilliams6944 thank you very much
I'm really sorry you had this happen to you 😔
Stay strong ❤❤❤
My mom had a spirit like Hutch. She took her own life back in 2016. To sum it up, there’s lots of big reasons my mom was referred to by everyone in our town as an angel long before her passing. Thank God for people like her and and Hutch. Their kindness, love and legacy lives on in all the lives of the people they’ve touched. Thank you Jack for sharing your story, you’re more of a Hutch than you realize
Secrets make us sick. Thank you for sharing your life with the world. You just made an impact for those suffering. Blessings, Jack.
maybe the best interview I’ve watched of yers so far. said so many profound statements that will stick with me for life. n he’s correct about the ripple effect these interviews will have because his just changed my life. very emotional. love love love.
“Once you learn how to ride a bike, walking somewhere just seems so ridiculous!” Wow! I legitimately FELT that!! Our stories & our REDEMPTION are so similar, Jack! May God bless you & your beautiful family!
One thing this man fails to realize is how GREAT and wonderful and self aware he is. He gave everyone so much credit, even his predators (BOTH of them), but he never credited himself for getting to where he is and to express himself so eloquently. He needs to celebrate himself and give himself a pat on the back... I pray he remains well and true to himself. God bless ❤
Same thoughts ❤
Such a gracious person.
Was the first situation a predator? He said the first situation was exploration with another person? Was that person also a minor? If so, it may have been normal exploration among minors of the same age. If it was an adult, of course, it was predatory.
@@alexsheppard153...I understood the predator in the first instance was his "trusted" coach😢
@@alexsheppard153 first situation was 2 boys experimenting sexually. Friends. He was doomed to be preyed upon, but ha, he came out on top and became a better human, better man, better friend, better son, better neighbor for it! Bad can always be turned into good.
I came across Soft White Underbelly by chance a few weeks ago. It has been the best channel I have ever watched. As a social worker, I hear stories like this everyday. The power of resilience is amazing and hearing these stories shed some light on how many persevere. Thank you for the work you do!
I'm proud of you. Your story revealed something about my own history. I know your sharing will help many. 💜
As an SA survivor... it hit me hard when he described viewing the abuse like he was watching a movie and not in his own body. Im also an addict. Thank you brother
Yes! So awkward...I don't like to put a name on things sometimes but look up disassociation disorder I feel like I'm watching myself all the time a complete outta body experience...prayers for your recovery!
Disassociation
Definitely relate with the disassociation...🤔
❤❤❤❤❤
There is hope still, make the right choices for yourself. God bless❤
I was not shocked at all to hear that this man's life was touched by Hutch. My life was touched by Hutch and the only place I was exposed to him was here, thanks to you. You're doing great things by shining a light on the people who don't move in everyone's circles at once so that they can impact us one circle of people at a time. There's a lot of love in this guy's words, and a lot of love that comes through in the work that you do. Thank you.
Agreed 💯❤
Beautifully written. ❤️
My favorite interview. If someone watched this and felt no impact, they need to check their pulse. We all can impact this world in some small way...
He said beautifully how much these interviews can change a heart.
I hope Jack realizes the impact he's made. Without any reason to feel proud of him..I feel proud. May he receive the blessings he deserves, and continues to speak words that help others, and in doing that, he continues to heal himself.
Today will be a better day after watching this.
Thank you both!❤
How on earth good can come out of such terrible tragedies is a true mystery of human life - what a deeply moving story ❤
This is a person that truly worked the programs , paid attention to what real Counselors and Therapist said to them, absorbed the information, learned to COPE and came out the otherside a better person. This is the result of hard work. ❤
"Everything we do is either an act of love or an act of fear. (Once you see that. You have no choice except to be loving)" Mark you made that quote even stronger. Much Luv to all.
What a raw and real interview. This guy has had some good supports and therapists. Loved how self-aware and insightful he is.
Well said, Mark. Your interviews are indeed a mirror of our society. Anyone commenting that you’re “exploiting” your subjects are simply unwilling to accept societal reality. This country is hard…and to those living the great lie of “Leave It To Beaver” living…God bless them. But we truly appreciate you, Mark. Thank you for sharing reality and giving a voice to these individuals who don’t think they matter. Just like Jack said…they DO matter…regardless of the hell through which they’ve been.
I have to thank both Jack and Mark for this video. It took immense counage for Jack to do a video like this. I am humbled by his courage. Mark, this video in particular will spread waves of light and hope we cannot even fathom today. Not all of us live out our calling, but Mark most certainly is through this channel. Thank you both.
❤❤❤
Jack is very open and honest. But
he needs to take one more vitally
important step. Ask the Lord to
help Jack to commit his life to
God. God said, " There is not one
righteous, no not one." We We ALL
have sinned and gone astray, but
God has placed on Him, Jesus, the
iniquity of us all. JOHN 3;16.
Jesus gives true peace and forgives
all sinners. Jack, you are not meant to
live a fragmented life. You seem to be
open to truth. God has wonderful
plans for your life. Please give Him a
chance, and. GOD bless you always!
@florairvan8305 please keep your religious beliefs to yourself.
Many of us have suffered SA at the hands of so-called 'men of god'
We are all capable of dealing with trauma without the bible being shoved down out throats.
Not shoving anything down your.
throat. Comments directed to Jack
and him only.If my message
was irritating, simply ignore and
"move on down the road......🚸
@@florairvan8305 👏👏👏
The self awareness here blows my mind. This interview is one of my top 5 from SWU, and that's saying a lot. Great job.
I feel this type of self awareness is rare
So inspiring to see a person like Jack operate at such an evolved level. The sky is the limit if you're willing to do the work.
Oh wow! What a wonderful man Jack is. This video brought me to tears when he talked about Hutch, and how love is the answer. His kindness, compassion, his self reflection, how wonderfully calming he is when he tells his story. No wonder this vid has had 1m views. May it get many many more. Thank you 🙏
I like how Jack had so many good things to say about other people and wasn't willing to badmouth anyone and at the same time held himself to a high standard (probably higher than he holds other people to) and took complete responsibility (and then some). It's a good character trait.
@Jack ~ I am going to be 74y.o.this year. I am a survivor and have *ALWAYS* thought of myself as less than. Since listening to this video I have made a commitment to myself . . . I am going to (try) to tell myself I have value, that I matter. I'd love to love myself, forgive myself, and be gentle with myself before I pass away. One thing I know for certain, without any doubts . . . absolutely everything happens for a reason, there are no coincedences. Thank you for allowing Mark to interview you. No coincedence I heard exactly what I needed to hear today. I wish you well
@gretchenlKlein you are beautiful and amazing and you have ALWAYS had value and you have ALWAYS mattered no matter what you’ve been through. Always remember that 🩷
@@angienicolegonzales2066 I'm going to write your response down and carry it in my bag! A constant reminder ~ *THANK YOU*
That's a good commitment, gretchen. You can't do good things without goodness inside yourself
I recorded (on cassette tape!) myself repeating out loud, those positive affirmations. It wasn't easy to say some out loud. I listened to that tape every morning and every night. Repetition strengthens and confirms. I tried to carry it around on paper. I always forgot to read it. It was Pia Melody that gave me the idea to record myself. These days it's so easy to with our mini personal computers.
We are in this world together, I will be 72 in October, it's so strange I never thought what happened to me would even be a thought in my 70s mind. You never forget.😢 It's just like you can never take back something once it's said and you will never forget trauma. 😢
That is undeniable one of the best interviews I've ever watched. That was real. What a wonderfully well spoken introspective person. "He's a unicorn"
He’s a Hutch!
This man has to be the most compassionate father around. God bless him and his heart for being able to still love so much through all the awful experiences and hate.
This is dark man, what an incredible disposition this man has. Can tell he’s a great man, this is the exact reason why you don’t mess with people and always treat them with respect, looking at him you would never guess something this sinister could’ve happened to him during his childhood. Respect everyone, always.
What an unforgettable line:
" I went with the devil I did know to escape the devil I didn't know."
Powerful right there.
All this is still so damaging for Jack; he didn't make eye solid eye contact while talking.
What an incredible story of triumph over trauma.
I never realized it until you said this. But the way he looks off and around is exactly what I do with my eyes when talking about the horrible things I went through as well.
@@janetjones7600what????
@janetjones7600 wrong Jack Doherty, the man you’re talking about is a black man. Fact check yourself before making such wild accusations.
He made a lot of "solid eye contact". Yeah, he looked in one direction and the other at times, he was looking into the camera often. I understand where you're coming from, but, I think you weren't completely paying attention.
There are other reasons for not making eye contact. Autistic people are uncomfortable making eye contact to a varying degree. I can do it by cheating and looking at a point on someone's face so I'm looking in the direction of their eyes, other people can't even manage to look at the face of the person they're interacting with. Note that I'm not suggesting that Jack is autistic, I'm just using this to highlight the point that there are other reasons for certain behaviours that you might not immediately know about so it's important to remember not to make assumptions.
The clarity Jack has is incredible. This is so powerful because it shows that an unexamined life is not worth living. Powerful to see how one man can transform his life through investigation. Thank you 🙏🏼
This is one profound meeting of two men sharing and caring. I realise some folk will not like what I am going to say, and I would tell them its ok. These Men here, Jack and Mark have the love of Jesus Christ coursing through their veins. You do not have to be a believer yet, however that does not mean you are not an instrument of the Lords will! Jack may you keep being an instrument living that beautiful purpose. Mark. Thankyou for what you are doing!
Mark, I don't think I've ever heard you get as emotional as you were in this video. I think the fact that Jack not only told an incredible story but did a mini interview with you is a great reflection of how deep his intentionality with people is
Sobbing, what a beautiful man! So we’ll spoken, felt everything he said in my soul.
Me too 🙏💜🕯️
This was an interview I didn’t know I needed. I refrain from showing emotions as much as humanly possible but hearing Jack say that he was always whole, and the way he explained it, just impacted me in a way I never thought possible and I’m sitting here still crying like a baby at coming to the realization of myself.
We were all
.. "aways whole."
It warms my heart to read this comment, thank you so much for taking the time to watch my interview. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the kind words.
@jackdoherty1412 I don't know if you will ever see this and I usually never comment online..but after watching your interview and listening to you speak so eloquently & beautifully about spreading love..I'm "doing it anyway". Your words have impacted me on a deep level. "I've been whole the whole time" will change my perspective and life going forward and I thank you. Wishing you nothing but beautiful days ahead. Keep being you ❤
@@loren7985I have read this, and internalized it. Thank you so much for the kind words!!
What a lovely man you are honest kindhearted may God Bless you with everyrhing good thank you for your interview
One of the best ever. Aligned with, and illuminating of, that which serves the people who experience what this man has, along with the people who help those who have had such experiences. I'm a recovering addict. Abusing substances and behaving in addiction based ways also saved my life. Now I'm 2 years clean from my substance of choice, with 14 and 10 years in two different process addiction programs, and I'm so grateful to be alive after wanting out of this world for so many years. I'm so grateful for all who share their stories, as this brave, honest, amazing man has. More of these types of videos.!This is "attraction rather than promotion" (to recovery processes). Our jobs are not to fix people, we simply exemplify another way, and point the way to the tools and support when asked. Mentorship, experience, strength and hope. No judgment, all humility, reminding us anything is possible. Thank you and bless you Jack and Mark
I had Jack in my head, last week.
It was a hard week.
I was bawling my face off and in came Jacks voice . I thought i was damaged goods. No one wants damaged goods.
But THIS video, is what came in my head, and knocked the negative out.
Your videos and their stories, change lives.
In amazing way.
I am truly grateful for this channel.
Thank you
This is such an amazing thing, thank you so much for taking the time to not only watch my interview but to also let me know it helped through a rough week. Means the world to me!!
Jack, just keep love in the forefront… be the kind of man you would have loved to have had for a Dad… and protect your son from the evil in this world. You are an amazing, awesome person. Please stay clean and be a “Hutch” to as many as possible. God loves you or you would not have survived. You are here by His grace and purpose… and you will always matter.❤
I can only wish the very best for Jack. He didn’t play the victim, he took responsibility for his actions, he made a conscious decision to change his life for the better. Well spoken, kind and you can feel that he has a heart full of love. May god bless you forever. You are and will be an amazing person and father. You are another Hutch. You will be a beacon for others lost.
Respect to you Jack for being accountable for your own decisions.
Mark, i love how you ask the simple questions and allow the person to tell their story.
This interview changed my life!!! My brother has a very similar story..I cried so hard watching this! Thanks for sharing your story!! Wow
I’m on the verge of tears listening to this. No person deserves any of this, he was literally born with a significant disadvantage in life. Thank you for sharing your story sir. This is beyond profound.
Why drug addict need lock down rehab therapy not prison. Most stems from abuse
This man is so good and so inherently kind. The staggering amount of empathy he shows towards everyone, including those who damaged him, is incredible! I think it’s because of this empathy he was able to work through all of the pain and suffering he endured. He is so honest and self aware and even when talking about his own shortcomings he doesn’t try to shift the blame. He owns everything- the good, bad, and the ugly. I am seriously rooting for his success as it’s clear how much work he’s put into becoming the man he is today ❤
He's not good. You can be surface level kind but to be that selfish as a drug user is just callous.
@@seungminwhatisyourproblemwhat do you mean ?
@@seungminwhatisyourproblemwhat are you talking about stoner?
he reminds me of myself good looks and well built body i looked 18 already when i was 15-16 prob why no one really tried any funny stuff but iv been told by many people and friends threw out my life that i give off this safe aura even they feel safe around me i was like what do u mean ? he said like for eexample he dont have to worry about my starting sht and calling him for help to back me up ect, funny my homie at the time who said that much older then me and been threw a dark life drugs, he used to be in a nazi gang even has the tatoo on his back had no idea i have never even had a fist fight in my life befor, what sht am i gona drag you into lol? he didn't believe me at first.. to this day im 29 and i have never lifted my hand to anyone my whole life nor have i ever been beat up or bullied its weird cause i had soo much anger and hate growing up mainly towards myself i guess. and im by no means a wimp or scared i even when to see a psychologist about my excess testosterones lvls and why im 15-16 and i look like im 18 naturally big exo skeleton eect... i could have fuked sht up if i wanted to but i just never did some how. I played rugby so i knew i was strong physically, i just avoided all the drama and bad vibes somehow, i was molested at a young age by my older brother there was truma i experienced, as big and strong that i was my heart was even bigger i guess lol. Big friendly giant i was never a threat to anyone and drug use lead me to my far bottom befor i realized how damaged i was and started to piece everything together and now i know exactly what happened, why it happened and who did it aswell it gave me closure knowing now and be able to understand
homie is tweaking@@thegmom7812
Emotional intelligence at its finest. This man is a warrior! God Bless you Jack. Keep on shining your light.
For watching this interview alone, I'm whole. Jack, you're already just as impactful as Hutch is. Godspeed and thank you Jack!
Boy, the good that you created from a bad situation is incredible. So much respect and hope for good things for you in your future.
Beautiful and inspiring !
Check the England Dan and John Ford Coley "Love is the answer" song 🎵 ☺️ it's what was playing my head toward the end of your interview...
All the best thing's to come are wished for you and your son and all the great thing's will follow, surely.
This is amazing example of a true man. Amazing integrity.
Absolutely blown away !!! This is one of the best , if not the best pieces of human documentation I’ve ever watched ! This man … his words … what a light ! I will be forever changed after watching this. This is so powerful!
Thank you Mark .. Thank you Jack
Jack you really affected me with the way you told your story. Your love and beauty shine through.... One of the most honest and touching interviews that I have seen. Thank you for sharing your in such a touching way X
This is one of the most profound interviews I have seen here. I am in awe of Jack and his insight. Thank you Jack for sharing your story.
Jack's pure appreciation for Hutch and Mark, and ability to see true beauty in others and recognize opportunity to do better is captivating. I am so glad he allowed his own reckoning so he can become that light to someone else.
I’ve never seen anyone be so incredibly vulnerable, raw and honest. So rational too with all things considered.
I’m 65 and my story is so closely related to yours. I not a victim, I’m a survivor. Since age 55 I feel more like a warrior! Peace be with you my friend ❤️
seeing a man being so vulnerable and honest...although it's such a sad story, I am glad to see this video. more men need to speak up and listen to each other and support each other, to heal and grow.... Jack I am so sorry you had the experiences you had... you are such an example of forgiveness, bravery and wisdom. thank you for sharing your story.
Mark, Jack and Hutch…thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I consider myself a cynical and seasoned mental health professional and I found all of what you’ve said to be both relatable and genuine. I sent my father, a Vietnam-era veteran, the link to hutch’s first interview and he really loved it. I love what you’re all doing and saying and it helps me to keep doing what I do and trying to help. ❤
Im a nonprofit founder for yourh, work in HR & grew up in an urban neighborhood with SA victims all around me. I am so proud of you. You are an amazing success story. You were so brave as a 13 year old. I'm so very sorry you & others have to experience such sick & evil people. Thank you for sharing & continue to share so you can save more lives!
You’re so loved Jacky.. Thanks for sharing your story friend. I’m thankful for you being here & beyond blessed to share a softball field with you.. you’re a strong and loving individual.. I’m lucky to call you my friend 🥰🥹
Thank you so much Honey, maybe I can learn to hit the ball as far as you in the future!!