ex-navy talks about cutting out toxic family
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- Опубликовано: 11 авг 2020
- i talk with Mike about joining the navy
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Hey guys, this was a tough video to make. Thank you all for listening, especially syrmor. It can be hard to talk about my past experiences and relive them. I don't mind doing it as long as it can potentially help someone who may also be suffering. It's weird looking back at my younger self. I was a young innocent kid who didn't really understand myself or the world. I went out into there, made mistakes, and tried to learn from them. In contrast to today, people that I encounter see me as a tough built veteran guy that looks like he has his shit together, but in reality I am just as vulnerable as anyone else.
A few things I have learned along the way that help me out in life: Learn to live in the present and appreciate every moment of your life. If you live in the past you can become depressed. If you live in the future you can become anxious. The only thing that matters is the present. Focus on being present in the moment. Life is made of opportunities and challenges. Build yourself up in all manners of life so you are ready to face any challenge and seize any opportunity that presents themselves.
Mental health is an issue that I wish was taken more seriously. We are all in this together. Be kind to one another.
Mike
❤️❤️sending you love & good vibes buddy
Story is hard but I enjoyed it, much love
Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad that you turned out alright.
I lost my sister to heroin.. I understand entirely that pain it causes. This video hit so close to home on so many things it hurts, but it's a good hurt, because it's a hurt that makes me feel like I'm not alone.
He created a life for himself with basically 0 help from his parents. A strong individual.
No. Not 0 help from his parents. -100 help from his parents. He's survived with his humanity in tact in spite of his parents doing everything they could to destroy him and take all of his accomplishments from him as their own. It was worse than receiving 0 help. It was receiving 0 help on top of having a constant obstacle in his way.
What a Chad
They did everything they could to tear him down even after he was building himself back up again. I was so happy to hear that he cut off contact with them.
I’ve seen this many times before:
Parents who are abusive/narcissistic & when their child accomplishes something without their help in any way, they become jealous (yes, jealous) that their child is receiving recognition for it & want to take the credit FROM them. It’s disgusting & simply a disgrace.
Any & every child deserves loving parents, not these dirtbags.
Actually incredibly impressive. He was 17 and homeless, so he joined the military, got himself through college and landed a good job. Not to mention the physical and mental abuse he had to go through.
Cheryl Clark my ex is stuck with her family like that. She’s incredibly fucking smart and amazing but they have torn her down and manipulated her so much that she’s resigned to living the same shitty life they have. They abuse tf out of her and are horrible people and she puts up with it, and has basically thrown away the incredibly future she could have had, because they have her convinced that if she leaves to live her life, she’s abandoning her family. Any time she does good at something they try to tear it down or persuade her to not do it anymore because it’s “not that important.” It’s sickening and I still worry about her all the time
"Being a kid is like being a dog."
I felt that.
Me too. Both are considered property by the state.
Try being adopted from birth. It applies doubly then.
@@saltysergeant4284 Really? That sounds so sucky. I really can relate and that's without being adopted so I couldn't even imagine 🙁
@@jamiepoujade267 yeah, for sure. Imagine being picked up from the "people pound", like a dog. Contracts signed for YOU, like slave days. They're not blood. They're contractually obligated, which is different from caring, different from kin. Every time my parents did something shitty, I'd think to myself, "y'all wouldn't have done this to your actual kid.".
On the flip side, I always remind myself, "hey, these people took you in and you're not even their kid.". It means more that they didn't give up on me when they really didn't have to stay past 18. It's a weird mix of love/hate. Lotsa questions that can never be answered.
@shamerspook Its not "The law" its just a bunch of people from different backgrounds putting their hate & pettiness unto kids that don't deserve it.🤷🏻♀️ "Laws" were never meant to protect people, only make more rules. Especially if you're above it all.
Bruh IMAGINE having parents like his, mad props to this guy for keeping his sanity.
I don't need to imagine
@@ryanhearn4075 I was going to original reply with oof but I honestly just feel bad.
@@ryanhearn4075 same dude, and my kids will never be subjected to the shit I had to go through
@@ashtonhashbrown6155 lol np it's fine it's been a while I'm all good had a bad day is all lots of alcohol
I don’t need to..... I’ve already lived a life similar
Parents pissed that they birthed a child more competent then them at less than half their age
If i had a kid i would be proud if he/she surpassed me
@@jorgen8630 yea that's how parents should be
I have the same parents. Luckily I cut them off at 20 after I learned the deeper psychology of those people. 27 now and happy whenever I don't think about them.
Lmao my mom tried to get revenge and ignored me for a whole week because I spoke back at an argument that wasn't even that big. Top 10 epic parents.(she's also a big fucking hypocrite)
@@somethingbs3479 people be like that I count my blessings that my parents aren't crazy sure they have there bullshit moments but who fuckin doesn't on this crazy space rock we call earth
“World of Warcraft helped be avoid a heroine addiction” what a sentance
Such a common story though. I used WoW and Halo in much the same way. Heroin and meth had our shitty logging town in WA in a death grip. My brother and about 95% of my classmates werent so lucky.
Video game addiction can be rough too but.. in a way preserved me so I could even make it to adulthood.
Renclave yeah I definitely don’t doubt it, I ask used video games as a distraction when I was much younger, not too drugs but just other issues.
I think most people would be surprised how true this is. I would have hung around with some awful people in middle school and high school if I wasn't in a raiding guild, lol.
I think that is every kid to plays video games in high school
Starcraft probably helped me in similar ways.
Sounds like his parents were upset about his success despite them trying their hardest to make him fail
seems like it
They probably set the bar so high for him and in a vague way, that when he was doing his own things, they just got mad and began to act this way to him. It also sounds like they just don't understand how things are nowadays, and are super traditionalist on how school, work and life are
Why would they want to see him fail, it's so cruel to think like that...
@@donjorvead2431 as someone else with shitty parents, it usually comes from the fact they they too didn’t do well in life. They want you to be miserable like they are, it makes them feel better.
@@AutumnFallsOver yeah I feel you. Polynesian parents have that sort of similar experience where the fathers before theres were shitty to the kids. And with that, it affects the fathers on their kids. However alot of poly kids learnt from that, and forgave their fathers cause they understood the tragedy and triumphant that they went through to get into a more westernized country. It's a long story for another time my friend.
"3.2 gpa pretty average"
Me: cries in 2.1 after getting rejected from devry
Lmfao. Fuck that gpa. You're a star!
Take it from a college dropout: Unless you REALLY want a specific job that requires a specific degree, you don't need to go to college. Having a degree will help you get a job, but it never guarantees that you will have or keep one. Your skills, work ethic, experience, and overall performance is what makes someone hire you. Having a degree only means you have an easier time starting out in the workforce.
...Also college is heinously overpriced. You could be spending that money on things that will help you earn money now instead of in 4 years.
@@mantha6912 yea true, if I lived im usa instead of the uk i probably wouldnt be going to college. the course im on is free like most colleges, but the universeties over here are paid to go as well but not as exspensive as its like 9000 pounds a year, at for game design/ art uni. plus the wages here are a little higher so its a lot easier to go to college and university then usa. i honestly would like to live in america but theres a few things that i dont like so i ended up just deciding to stay here.
Remember that, whenever you're applying for a business loan or house or whatever, no one cares what your GPA is. They want to know credit score and financials. That's the real grade system, and unlike the school system, there is no "A+". There's just, everything up to trillionaire (unless we keep printing money, then it'll be decillionaire).
The world doesn’t have room for people like his parents. Listening to his stories pissed me off so much.
I was fuming by the end. It infuriates me to even know people, especially parents, like this even exist.
That's like a solid 1/4 of parents lmao, a large portion of people who want to have kids don't want to be parents if that makes sense, and like half of people don't know how to actually be a parent at all.
literally r/insaneparents
@@darioguerra3065 In my opinion most people who don't want to have kids are either have experience raising kids and don't want the burden, or are intelligent enough to know they aren't qualified for the job, or they are afraid (which is ok).
Same.
"Being a kid is a lot like being a dog. If an owner beats their dog, it's still gonna come back at the end of the day."
One big difference though. A dog doesn’t really have the same ability to lash out against people like kids/young adults do. A dog will bite, sure. But a person that’s been beaten.
Biting is a best case scenario
@@ewwpoorpeople5684 Being a kid is kind of like being a dog. But only in very specific areas that can be used for metaphorical situations.
Try and pick THAT apart, hehheh 😎
"A dog doesn’t really have the same ability to lash out against people like kids/young adults do. A dog will bite, sure. "
>dogs cant lash out
>explains that they will lash out
That struck home
Yeah but dogs can't outlive their owners and inherit fat $$$ then laugh about it.
The amount of times I heard "I'm the parent. I am always right. You listen to me no matter what" and stuff like that really gets my teeth grinding
i got told this all the time and im pretty sure its what started my mental decline. no conversations, no compromise, just shut up and never question anything. therapy didnt help, only made it worse.
suprise suprise, now my only other brother doesn't ever talk to either of them and now they just whine to me about "well we did what we thought was best, why doesnt he see us anymoreee". well..... we tried talking to you but you'd scream at us when it turned out you were wrong or mistaken.. they made us feel crazy and treated us bad kids for years and it took me moving out of state to start healing and even then...
I am very lucky to have parents who instead talks about the actual benefits to *both* me and them if I complied with what they said. It really is incredible to have good parents.
I don't even understand how that saying is so universal with parents that grew in the 80-90s. I'm from Eastern Europe my parents were really stern and devoid of logic every fucking time when we had arguments. I have a better relationship with my mom now but she did what the guys mom in the video did. Which was beat me when I was argumentative . Never with logic always with hard pressed rage. But when you grow up , you're basically stronger than them so they can never hurt you. Which if you're lucky enough you make them apologize or be a bit more stern and they comply like sheep.
I have two sides right now.
I have this pity and hate because my mom is narcissistic and has been verbally abusive and I have expressed my side of emotions and rage to her till she apologized.
Other side is I still love her because she's basically helped me with a lot in life ,although most of the core help was from my really hardworking father and shes less narcissistic and controlling now and they've helped me a lot when I didn't have a job.
Hope everything gets better. Be strong everyone
Props to him for leaving that. They weren't parents. They were about as nurturing and as supportive as poison ivy.
Pardon me sir, but I'm going to steal that last sentence there.
The fact that literal children have to join the military to avoid homelessness is sad :(
EDIT: or escape a toxic home life!!! there needs to be more options, especially because the military is not an option for everyone
America America God bless America the country is like a ad the ad looks nice but when you get it it isn't so nice
@@popinmo one of the wisest thing about US i heard
I don't see how this is the country's fault, he had fucked up parents...
Yea... I don't get how is this USA's fault. His parents are from Italy and Italians are usually a close-knit type of family. I am surprised the parents kick them after he graduated from high school. They usually prefer their children to stay with them until they get married or get a good paying job
That was not even close to his only choice lol, the military isn’t even an option for more than 75% of the population let alone the only option.
My dad joined the Army for the same reason. My grandpa said he wouldnt make it theough bootcamp. We learned recently that that grandpa got kicked out of air force boot camp.
Alexander Pentlicki Am I allowed to ask why he was kicked out?
Matthew Thornton we have no clue lol, we just found out by digging through some old letters he sent to my grandma.
Alexander Pentlicki That’s quite sad. What I take away from this is your grandpa fell short and wanted his son to be his legacy to the world but still put him down and projected his own “failure” onto his son. I feel bad for your Dad.
Dang chill grandpa
Hahahahahaha your grandpa sounds like a loser
"If someone is draining that energy that you need desperately to focus on yourself and better yourself, you need to cut them out of your life."
- Mike
I don’t think he realizes how much this helped me cope with an verbally abusive mother, and shutting her out
Happy it helped!
"Being kid is like being a dog, even if their owner beats them they're still going to come back at the end of the day " that shit hit me too hard... legitimately I have been crying with the video on pause. But I think I needed to hear that. Damn someone hug this guy for me.
Hope you're doing alright mate.
Imagine beating someone so hard you hurt yourself, then beating them for injuring you. That is like, saturday morning cartoon villian, comically evil self centered mideval noble level shit
i know right
that part hit so fucking hard, my dad used to do that to me as a kid, and it sucks that there’s more people out there who experienced horrifying shit like that growing up.
my parents hit me but not in the way that you would get Flippin injured, they only did those slaps that hurt a bit. I mean damn those parents are monsters like yeah if your kid is being a little shiz hit them in a way you wouldn't hurt or kill them. don't flippin hit them till you hurt your arm and then hit them for making your arm hurt like Jesus that's the definition of child abuse.
I mean part of why they're abusive is they can't take accountability for themselves. Easier to just blame somebody else and maybe vent off him/her/it (for those who abuse animals) than to do something about their fked up behaviors.
@@blacklight1104 i agree with you 100%
It hit home when he talked about being a kid is like being a dog, nearly had me in tears. I've been through the same situation coming from a Mexican background and man is it fucked up. Neither parents will apologize for all the physical and mental abuse they put me through. Ironically it's the reason why I actually dropped from joining the navy specifically. I've got more going for me than any of my family members and yet I'm still a failure in their eyes.
My personal advice to anyone is blood always doesn't run as deep as friends and others. You have to find confidence in yourself and learn the only person you should impress is yourself. Be proud of who you are and don't let family get in the way of doing what you feel is right. Took me a long time to realize that but dam does it feel good
Yeah I remember realising that I only felt good about myself whenever my own f**ked up family wasn’t around. That’s when you know it’s time to walk away
After converting to Islam and performing the Shahadah, i found what i was looking for. Not a preachy moment, nothing like that. Its just... idk man, i found what i was looking for. Just took me a few years to realize it. Has certainly helped me mentally.
Crabs in a bucket my man. End the cycle
@doting O how old are you
The blood of the covenant runs thicker than the water of the womb.
I dont know, but this video just makes me extremely grateful for the family that I have.
Sounds like your parents did a good job.
You’ll likely be a good parent too then 🙂
I didnt know it was possible to feel so proud of someone you've never met. What a strong human being.
Careful Hannibal you might show too much humanity
fr
when your parents get old and need you, know that you dont owe them anything.
Sadly, just like Rafael said, that biological link binds you to them. When they barely did the bare minimum to support and guide him, he really shouldn't give a fuck about them. I was brought up with loving and supportive parents. They weren't perfect but they truly wanted the best for me and my bro. Listening to Mike's experience makes me mad on his behalf.
Visiting the nursing home on holidays is more than they deserve....
@Rafael Lopez Canel Man even if my parents dont treat me right, i dont give a shit who they are to me. You have a kid to love it and take care not to trate it like shit
@Rafael Lopez Canel are you kidding me. Bringing a child into this world for your own reasons and then abuseing them once they exist is inexcusable. He doesn't owe them SHIT
@Rafael Lopez Canel Yeah no, that wasnt a life they gave him, it was literal hell, so no, he doesnt own them a single thing on this god's green earth
Zim shares his story of breaking free from the All-mighty Tallest.
"NOOOOOOOOoooo whatever." - Dib
I needed to hear this, I'm 40 and after my little brother committed suicide, I realized I had to stop acknowledging our parent's existence, or I would of also committed suicide. I'm a complete stranger to the speaker, but I want them to know, I'm proud of them, life is fn hard.
R.I.P. to your bro
This is the best WoW advert on the internet
WoW: It's just like heroin!
Champions don't have time for drugs?
"Dont get addicted to drugs! play WoW instead!"
Yeah but videogames be like that. I ve been drinking a lot lately. I play mainly midlane in League of Legands and Xerath is my favourite boy but he requires fast reflex and accuracy in casting skillshots. Alcohol made it really hard to play him soo i stopped drinking. After my mind cleared ive realised that alcohol made my daily living like 20% more miserable.
No...no its not.
I like this guy he has many stories sad and good and tells them like they are
He doesnt tell the stories
@@Gladiux0 sorry if you got confused I was talking about the guy symor is interviewing
Willthebinchicken oh ok cool
Thank you
@@mike4088 no problem👍
The best advantage I have ever had in life has and will always be my parents. Being born to good parents is winning the lottery.
That’s great to hear.
Even if its only one of them.
It's a really shitty moment for a child when they realize their parents aren't the role models they thought they are... It took me 30 years of my life to realize that I'm not a failure, my parents are.
This one hit me hard as it was very relatable. My parents were fucked up in a different way, there was no physical abuse, just mental... but that's a story for another day.
It's honestly so heartwarming hearing this guy made it out. Such a weird thing to feel happy for a total stranger.
🫂
bruv, maybe you can contact syrmor and talk about it
He's absolutely right about the addictions caused by prescribing highly addictive medicines for pain pills and such. It's an actual fact and a really sad fact to boot.
The fact that they prescribe them isn't the sad part, the fact that they give them way way too much for no good reason is.
When you are under incredible pain the drugs are a lifesaver, its the leftover ones they give you just to inflate your bill that are the super fucking fucked up part
@@AlaskaBoyAlex Exactly. That's one of the reasons my mom became dependant on them. It was very difficult for her to get off of them. It broke my heart watching.
@@young98-cc5ls I didn't know about that. That is absolutely disgusting.
@@AlaskaBoyAlex And then refuse to prescribe them in other cases, like women suffering from dysmenorrhea.
Yep that is why we are having a opioid crisis
This is really important advice:
"I think if someone's just continually toxic, no matter who the fuck they are in your life you should be able to just walk away. Like if it makes you- This is the main thing with mental health is like, *sometimes when you have mental health issues, you need to be selfish with your own emotions.* "
hah I wish I could move out but I cant because my mental health is that bad.
the way this guy nonchalantly describes how horrible his parents treated him is heartbreaking.
Honestly it’s better he went to the navy and got his GI Bill instead of taking loans because now he gets to enjoy his money
The only people who failed are his parents. How pathetic... Some people should not be parents. They have no right to "Care for" precious life. I feel sick hearing this. Good on that man for realizing he doesn't owe them an explanation. He doesn't need to prove hes better because it's already true. That man raised himself right.
I have the exact same parents, although I refuse to call them that.
They shall die alone, they deserve it.
And when the day finally arrives, I will get myself a cake and beer I don't even care whatever bs I might hear.
This is y u need a license to get kids
Wow. That ending was beautiful. "Sometimes when you have Mental Health Issues, you need to be selfish with your own emotions. Sometimes you dont have the energy to like put up with other people's bullshit. You gotta be able to focus on yourself and if somebody is draining that energy that you need desperately to focus on yourself and better yourself, you need to cut them out of your life." 100% REAL.
People say “you’re not the center of the world” like no, I literally am the center of my world. It’s how life works!
Glad you appreciated that. Hope it helps.
100% at the end of the day all you have is you. It is ok to be selfish in certain situations
This is exactly why I choose to not have friends, a love/dating/sex life or any kind of social life at all. My "resilient zone" is EXTREMELY small, I have deep CPTSD and many days, even just seeing other people/hearing other people's voices (without even interacting with them directly) completely exhausts me and sends me spiraling. I don't even watch live action tv/movies/shows because I can't stand looking at/hearing people, especially not at the same time. The majority of the media I consume are books and audio-only educational podcasts, unless I'm watching something that's purely instructional. I get called selfish so much (especially by family members) for keeping myself away from other humans in as many ways and as much as possible, but they don't understand that that's what I need to do to keep myself sane and generally ok.
@@karmakameleon113 It just doesn’t sound as though it’s keeping you sane though.
I ruminate about all my social interactions, which makes me anxious, which then f**ks with my sleep, causing more anxiety, then there’s the shame I feel for feeling anxious, then I get angry at myself for feeling shame and anxiety. On and on it goes, like a snake eating it’s own tail
VRChat is the only game where you can hear Zim talking about his war experiences and his friends overdosing
In the end, deep down, we all know who she really was saying 'you were a failure' and it was not towards her son
projection, for sure.
It sounds to me like they were just pushing him to do his best. A B average is good, but is it your BEST, really? Is that all you're worth, all you can be, a B? I bet with a little more effort that could have been an A average.
I've been there. I've been that kid that everyone told is so great, with so much potential, that should be getting As, and I did for a while, and I could...but that's boring so i slacked, fucked off, hanged with bad people, got expelled. Came back, graduated high school a semester early, making up for the expelled semester, while working 40 hours a week nights. I actually lied to my employer that I dropped out of high school so they'd let me work full time, because I liked the money, lol.
That was 2001, and most of that school year, my senior year, was a daze of sleep depravation, homework, and secrecy since i'd started smoking weed at 18 (which I blamed on the stress of 9/11).
One would be surprised what they can do when they apply themselves. If I'd had modafinil then like it's available today, whoooo, holy shit, I'd be a WAY ahead today.
@@RobertMorgan True, but even when he joined the military, made a difference and actually made something of himself his mother still treated him as though he did nothing. that is disgusting. what was worse is how she was telling the family members behind his back on how bad and "lost" he was, thus undermining all of his accomplishments and goals to prove himself. This is where I am getting at. How can you defend that? What happened if your parents still bullied you and called you a worthless being after you made the necessary changes to improve your life in society?
Now I must agree with you on your point that, yeah, we all need that push in the right direction. we need that shove if necessary. the issue here is that she is still shoving him even after he proved himself in the end. That I cannot excuse.
P.S. thanks for your replying and giving your own opinion and even experience. that was really kind of you
@@RobertMorgan I'm on the other scale of this, and although still young unlike you, I still believe I can testify about this.
My parents have a great expectation of me. If I got a B in one class, it would be "Nice job, but I wanna see a board full of As." It also helped that my parents were from Vietnam and only finished (a very poor) middle school before coming to the US to avoid the Vietnam War. As a result, they wanted a child who got to learn. My father said to me when I was in 6th grade with my lowest grade of all time with a C when I complained that it was fine:
"My dream is for my son to come home with a degree."
Damn did that hit me.
This guys story is literally how super villains are born. Props to him for overcoming it man!
@J J Idunno my dude, those parents are pretty close to being some.
I know I would’ve became evil and vengeful if I was in the same situation. This guy took the energy and used it as fuel for a positive outcome. I would’ve just became consumed by it.
@@The_NJG That’s brave of you to admit. So maybe you’re one step closer to not choosing evil if you were in his shoes. 🤔
Damn, I heard my mother's shrill screeching in my head when he mentioned how his mother screamed at him.
Toxic parents scream alike
“The less I talked to my parents the better off I was”
I’m a freshman in college and I’m going through the same thing I don’t have any mental health issues and I’m just overall happier dealing with unpredictable alcoholic psychos everyday was worse then anything
If it’s as bad as you say then you probably have developed some issues - it’s just your mind’s way of coping with the stress of a turbulent home environment where you’re supposed to feel safe and secure.
Way too many "parents" get away with this kind of shit, and they never see jail time. I had to pause a lot because I kept getting overcome with rage. Personally, I think it's one of the worst things you can do and I sincerely hope every abusive parent goes to their own special hell for eternity, feeling solely the most intense pain that can possibly be felt, so they have some idea what it was like for their poor kids. Thanks for sharing this story.
I feel bad for this guy. Parents are supposed to be your main support and protectors. But it sounds like he's got a good life, good for him.
I'm due with my daughter in less than a month. I will always be her main support and I will give her the best, loving life she can have. That means cutting certain people out of our lives, which was hard, but necessary. Do what makes you happy, live selfishly to achieve your goals. I never thought I would be this happy but I am. The struggles in life are worth it. You matter to someone. 🥰
It's good that you'll be there for your daughter and trust me when i say this but, everyone needs their mom or dad to be in their life.
My dad doesn't even bother with us and that's why i think so negative but, atleast i have my mom and even though she's not that great she tries her best.
Hope everything goes well for you and your family
@@hirxken7851 I feel this so hard man
Last few months, I've been kind of gloomy and down because I went to live with my mom after living with my dad for awhile. My dad hasn't talked a whole lot since, I ask him to get lunch and it seems like he has some kinda excuse to push it off and not see me. I just want to be in his life still, I don't want to never see him again. There are a lot of things he's done that I don't agree with, but he's still my dad at the end of the day and I love tf outta him man
As a daughter to a not so good father one thing i can happily reccomend is to try and think from the childs view and let them explain things at their own pace; when your child does something wrong please dont get super mad and simply ask in a calm voice why they did what they had done, this can help build trust ive never had with my dad and could help you as a parent. Thank you for reading this in advanced!💞
@@NeonNym You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I think you have a lot of potential to do well in spite of your parent's failures. Good luck.👍✊
8:49 little does he know he dodged a bullet by not taking out loans.
Depends on what he wanted to go for
@@MultiKool13 if he wanted to go for life long debt that can't be paid back then yeah go for it. College loans are among the only loans you can't default on and get rid of. Colleges are increasingly becoming less valuable with college degrees mattering less and less because the quality of education is going down as well as a saturation of the job market in most fields.
Few decades ago it seemed like an insane idea not to go to college even if it meant taking out loans. Now its more obvious it doesn't always go well anymore, and its getting more expensive.
@@nickmagrick7702 yes but I'm saying for people who wanna go for the Sciences like Engineers and such it is worth it
@@MultiKool13 even then its becoming more questionable
@@nickmagrick7702 only for electrical and mechanical engineers, I really wouldn't recommend them. But chemical, and nuclear are in high demand, can make a lot of money, and have amazing benefits. Also doctors and physical therapy are great things to go to college for (obviously). But I do agree college is becoming very useless for most people. The real crime though is that nobody told him about trade school, he could've went there for free after he got out of the military, gotten paid while he was in school, and gotten multiple degrees like PTech and Instrumentation, came to the south and made BANK
I kinda have parents like his and I feel so sorry, I'm glad he turned into a better person than them.
when you realize he turned into a better person BECAUSE of them. That without that experience, he might have turned out better, but maybe different or even worse.
Some of the most entitled, horrible people I know had wealthy, coddling, nice parents.
You know what. I’m proud of this guy. He took crumbs and made it into a loaf of bread.
All this just really makes me want to make sure my future home and family is full of love and support.
Kicking a 17 year old out is beyond me.
I'm almost 19 and my life is no where close to being manageable yet so I can't imagine being kicked out at 17.
Most parents even kick their kids out at 18 and be like "be off on your own now". Like yo i know they need to learn but being a parent doesnt end at 18, its a life long commitment
@@ssj4galactus that's an excuse of letting the kid learn.
If the parents care about their children, then they wouldn't kick them out like that unless they're an complete problem.
Kicking out your child when he / she are not financially stable is beyond the asshole territory.
@@kush7138 word man
Yeah I just turned 20 and I’ve been living on my own for almost a year and it’s had its hard points. I couldn’t imagine doing it at 17
Really hits different that his drill instructors from Boot camp are less harsh than his actual parents. Seeing stories likes this that start from agony to redemption really gives me a smile.
That's because DIs eat sleep and breathe with their brothers and sisters in uniform.(Okay maybe not sleep...) They have mutual respect(generally) and they're using that toughness to immediately provide these cadets with the tools necessary to thrive in the military.(Unlike his parents who left him to fend for himself)
I can relate to him to some degree. My parents are very narcissistic, especially my dad. If its one thing I learned, you owe nothing to your parents if they think doing the bare minimum is grounds for them to abuse you mentally and physically and then call it love.
Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed.
His parents sound like a couple of narcissists. The fact they kept telling him he a failure, he went to college and graduated but didn't accept it, they wanted to manipulate him into believing he was a piece of shit and would never amount to anything. Yep, sounds like a classic narcissist and I have met many people like that. Best thing is never to talk to them ever again. Focus on your own life and future. Leave them in the past. I know it might be difficult for some people because they are related but it is much better to never speak to them again. It is extremely rare for a narcissist to change.
Shit....a friend of mine recommended this video to me and told me "Hey, you need to listen to this, it sounds a lot like what you went through." Different strokes, but I went through a similar situation, and it's painful to hear that another kid had to go through that kind of abuse as well. It sounds like he's okay now, though. I'm glad. I'm glad I listened to this...
I went through the same shit as a kid too, and the fact that someone else went through similar things as me caught me so fucking off-guard. I really hope that this future generation of young kids has at least some sort of outlet to reach out and receive help.
Crazy, same here. Hadn't met anyone that had the same sort of past. I chose homelessness instead of the military for a while. I long since learned that I did better than my father in many ways, and have a son who I can show the real values in life, and how to be a proper caring father.
Same here. I went through a psychotic narcissistic abusive parent. My mom is a lot like his mom, never worked, expected everything to be done for her.
And the family tree is similar too. My mom was from long island, grandpa served in WWII and was an abusive alcoholic.
Glad that there's other people who survived/thrived. I love this guy's story because he did well for himself.
Holy shit, I’m so sorry you had to deal with those pathetic excuses of human beings as parents; you are so much better than they ever could be to a severe extent, and my extreme respect to you both for your service as well as your technical achievements outside of the navy. I also hope that you got to share the truth with more of your relatives; those abusive parents deserve to be called out by everyone.
things like this keep reminding me how fucking lucky i am to have parents who actually care about my wellbeing.
that guy is a god damn champion for being able to go through all that with his sanity intact
This Invader Zim reboot dark.
Finally something cheery to make my day. Though dark.
Dib must have really fuck Zim up.
Zim’s talking about the tallest
He's 100% speaking the truth. My dad crushed a disc in his spine back in the 2000's and doctors got him addicted to opioids and when it wasnt 'getting the job done' he started looking for drugs to fill the void. He's doing better now, but it took a decade to get out of rock bottom.
@syrmor id love to find an outlet to tell u that whole story
I know the feeling man, same happend to my mom. Lost her a few years ago man.
hearing stories like this make me really appreciate my parents and all they are going through to help me succeed in life. ive decided to join the marines next year and when i told them they were nothing but supportive to me.
syrmor deadass put in one of the captions *joyless laugh*
This dude had it rough. I feel so bad for him. I honestly hope one day that his parents see how much he's done to try and please them. They honestly sound terrible and don't deserve such an amazing dude as their son. And to lie to the family members as well? That's like the lowest of lows. I hope this dude achieves more greatness and ends up being talked about on TV or something so his extended family can see how messed up his parents were to him.
I don’t think those thick skulled idiots can get shit through their head
I wonder if at this point his parents just mentally can't accept his success because then they would have to confront the way they acted to him their whole life and get throught the pain of accepting just how terrible they are. Being wrong hurts, especially when you spent time trying to prove you're right, it's hard for me to apologise for being an asshole for 5 minutes, my chest physically hurts when I confront the truth that what I said was wrong. I can't imagine the pain of realising a lifelong mistake.
Going off of that part where they lied to his uncle, I worry that they'd just brag that everything he achieved was because of them (rather than in spite of them). And they'd still call him a failure.
Idk them, though... Plus stuff like therapy may help them grow.
@@SpeedyThingGoIn4 of course, you should never rely on people to change
@@freddy4603 That's an interesting point. Kinda... 'err on the side of caution' vibes.
The part where he mentions “if I make more money than my parents, then I’m not a loser” - hit way too close to home. Thanks for sharing man, you did the best you could with what you had.
I feel this so hard. I feel less alone in my experience now. Thank-You for sharing this.
Symor thank you for sharing these stories man, they’re great to listen to and help people more than you know
The parents were just projecting and trying to make their child seems more incompetent than they are, so they can feel superior.
This is actually common in certain community.
common doesn't make healthy
@@ulrohermit1369 I don't think they meant it that way.
NOTICE, in those 'certain communities' they're disproportionately highly successful. Many of those successful kids credit that intense parenting for their success.
@@RobertMorgan and also produces druggies and suicides
@@RobertMorgan define "success". if you think pushing a kid to their mental breaking point so they can have a high-paying career is all there is to success, you're missing the point. a person can be outwardly successful and inwardly an insecure house-of-cards mess in a way that risks derailing their entire life at any moment. you can't justify abusive parenting with this.
I'm gunna go give my parents a hug for not being like this guys parents...
well deserved
I cannot imagine having parents like this. Makes me feel incredibly grateful for my own parents and I’m glad your doing well regardless of your upbringing. Love the videos and stories being shared on this channel.
All these videos make me feel so much better, I feel like I’m sitting down and talking to them.
glad he was able to cut that relationship off with his parents. He deserves people who respect and support him, not abuse and gaslight him. The BARE MINIMUM for parents is to provide for their kids' basic needs like food and shelter until adulthood, it's disgusting when they try act like their kids owe them anything for that.
The military life can be depressing a lot of times, not because we're away from home, but because it's worrisome to know that some of our friends we knew and loved from our childhood, high school, and all the times spent throughout our 'past lives', never truly 'left home' and got into some bad shit. Then those nights when I'd be alone in the barracks/dorms, wondering what it would be like to go back home one more time to enjoy the bonfires we used to have and playing manhunt (hide-and-seek) in the woods at night with my old friends, just like we all did when we were teenagers. Man, I'd kill to have a moment like that with my old friends one last time.
thinking about this made me cry. thank you for helping me remember some stuff
I always wanted to join the military but now I'm having second thoughts, there's a lot of problems that come with joining and as much as I wish I could join, I can't ease into the harsh lifestyle
Brought up so many memories this guys story actually started making me upset because going through that myself you never wish it upon another person and hearing about him going through it too just sucks to hear :/
Just Randomly stubbled across this video and i didn't realise it would hit me so close to home. i'm in a simlar situation and hearing your story kinda gives my story a bit of clarity. thank you for sharing
The Mom sounds like a terrible person, this pissed me off so damn much. I am so inspired by Mike, he seems like such a great person. He went through all of that all by himself, at such a young age too. I am 17 right now and I cannot even begin to fathom having to go through any of that. Especially on my own. Thank you Mike. And thank you Syrmor.
hi peeps! welcome back to another vid. i'm hanging out with Mike, an ex-navy soldier, about growing up and where life took him. keep up with the channel at twitter.com/SyrmorS
do u reply????
@@Silent_oz no
@@syrmor 😂😂
@@syrmor oh ok
E
As some one in the military in a similar situation i really relate to this story so much. Folks its ok the let family go if they keep shitting on you. Go live your best life and look out for #1.
These videos are truly making me want to get my shit together, i appreciate what you’re doing fr
i’m so excited to watch this- everything syrmor makes is so emotionally touching.
Yes anime girl in vr chat talking about her only fans is so touching ☺️
MitPicK HAHAHA-
Invader zim guy last video: *ye we exploded into our socks pretty often on that ship*
Smoked Bear y e s .
I'd say it's syrmor documenting. Not to discredit his work, but the value of his products comes almost exclusively from the interviewees themselves.
"That's the bare fucking minimum you phsyco" god tier quote
"WE MADE SURE YOU HAD A ROOF AND CLEAN CLOTHES" "THERE WAS ALWAYS FOOD IN THE HOUSE"
if you think that's something you deserve extra credit for, kinda just shows how messed up YOUR parents were and why you think this excuses treating a child this way... kids shouldnt have to think about this stuff
Thank u 🙏 for posting I give him props
I absolutely loved this so much. A friend of mine recommended this channel to me, being aware of some of my past experiences with family, etc., But thank you for the people such as the veteran in this video that are strong enough to be able to share their own stories, it kinda made me feel like I had a chance to get better. And I'm pretty proud at how far people can come after that kinda sh*t going on in their life
I pray that his parents see this video by some miracle one day. I also hope they realize what scum bags they were to their own child.
Never gonna happen. They’re emotionally walled off because of their own traumas from their own upbringings.
It’s why the only choice is to walk away.
Take a person like that and give them power over another life, and watch them become a tyrant. It’s inevitable.
It’s also why I don’t have kids. I went through too much abuse and neglect as a kid, so that would undoubtedly affect my ability to be a good parent.
It’s why so many people shouldn’t have kids. Most people are just doing it for themselves, to satisfy their urges.
Mental health issues are nothing new, but at least now some us realise now how and why they develop in the first place.
@@CursedWheelieBin They know they were treated like shit, but they do nothing about it. I hate people like that.
that whole 'sometimes you need to be selfish for the betterment of your own mental health' thing resonates with me heavily, thanks again for the wonderful conversation syrmor
Love the stories. Shout out to this guy. Went from negative to positive, it takes a strong person mentally to overcome what he did. Always persevere my friends
This is golden, please keep doing these videos dude.
I hate that I relate so much to his life while living with his parents. I'm probably gonna have to cut my parents out of my life when I move out because It's such a toxic environment. Being kicked out, lying to family members about you, making you go to work when you really can't, not apologizing for anything "because theyre your parents", never living up to their expectations, when he said she screamed at him for not being a systems engineer. I related to all of it. And I hate it. Watching this was like reliving my own traumas.
Hey man, rly hope it gets better for you from here, legit 🙂
cut them off man. do it.
it's a hard choice but you'll only be happier when time goes by.
if you don't you'll continue to get disappointed.
don't fool yourself. parents don't get better with time. i cut off a parent and a bad best friend. in that moment it was hard, but you'll thank yourself later.
@@Lex_Fur yeah man , I'm really at one of those fork roads , i have this best friend whom i know from my high school years , he is a good person but he really is depressed , pessimistic and dark towards future , he is kinda making me hopeless about my future and my goals , and i'm hesitant to cut him out
feel ya homie, cut them out dont get sucked into their pain
Sounds like his parents were narcissistic and emotionally abusive
Not to mention physically at the end. Fucking disgusting wastes of flesh.
Nothing said in this video indicates narcissism, and people who suffer from NPD do not deserve to be erroneously stigmatized by being associated with abuse like this. There are many lovely people suffering from NPD that would never do anything remotely like what we see in this video. "Narcissistic" is not a synonym for "callously selfish."
@@AbandonedVoid says this guy🤦🏻♂️☝🏻
Happens more than you would guess
I wouldn't say they we're narcissistic. Sounds to me like his parents are very unhappy with their lives and the only way they could feel better was taking it out on their kid and pushing him lower than themselves. Then when their kid achieves something, they do some mental gymnastics and try to convince themselves and people around them that they made it happen.
Guarantee you his parents we're never loved in their youth and therefore couldn't give that to their kid.
The motivation this guy has is amazing
Thank you for making these
When he started talking about his parents and how they treated him it physically made me angry
The doctor's over prescribing problem was brought up In Shameless, when Frank points out rehab is way different than it was in the 90's, the worker explains how doctor's are over prescribing rich suburban kids, and under prescribing black and brown people, causing rich kids to land in rehab, paid by their parent's regardless of how many times they must return
Is this a documentary or something? Can post a link for it 'cause i'm really interested in this now.
@@bombbud7523 It's compiled information from "Adam Ruin's Everything" (they site the sources throught the episode) on Netflix, "Shameless" on Netflix, and a video that talks about racial bias in medicine and an actual study in 2016 seeing if black people don't feel pain/ feel pain differently
@@josephinehayward8303 Adam ruins everything seems like an idiot though. Not disagreeing with what your saying, just that Ive seen that guys interviews, and Adam seems like a real kook.
@@richardrussel4567 that's totally valid, but he's more like a mascot or actor for research that the writers have done. He's also a comedian who used to work on Collegehumor, so that might explain his kooky behavior
i began watching these videos an hour ago and they're honestly giving me a new outlook on life
These stories are amazing, and in every one it seems to end on a simple note, people forget how small simple things mean the world to you, such as just being around people who support you and doing work that doesn’t drain you, and even aspiring to enjoy what you do. It’s so easy to get caught up in the “it’s not that simple”, but it really is, it just takes a lot of getting over yourself to get there, and it could happen like the flip of a switch if you truly allow yourself to. I do love hearing these stories of people overcoming things, and also persevering through them as well, life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but you gotta keep your head in the game, and these people sure do.
I relate to this too much. My parents did ultimately turn around for the most part though, but they kicked me out when i was 17 and still in high school. I was diagnosed with autism 2 years prior and couldn't work because of the emotional stress. I just wasn't able to always function, which made holding a job virtually impossible. They basically said I was just lazy and unmotivated. Was homeless for a while. it's a long story. That shit really really fucks you up.
I will say that they learned more about my disability over time and do a lot for me now and I'm grateful. Even so, there's wounds in that relationship that will never ever heal.
oh man , i'm really sorry to hear that , i feel you , yeah i have ADHD and we're in middle of the worst economical condition in the history of our country(iran) cause of the US sanctions , our currency have fallen 25x , our average salary is 40$/month , it really is dark times at least for me
Bad parents die old, angry, and sad.
I got kicked out at 17 as well because my mom was an addict and couldn’t understand normal human feelings. So I turned to the wrong path, I ended up drug dealing and hanging with the wrong crowd. Until I met my wife and ever since the day I saw and met her I knew I had to change my life. Fast forward 1 year she was pregnant with my child. Now fast forward to now I have a nice house, I’m married and I have 3 beautiful kids. Never had my father or mother around and I still made a great life for myself. It’s not about the parents y’all, it’s about the heart you have as a person.
Wow, I am listening to a lot of these story's and all of them our toutching. Great videos man👍🏻The real story of a human being.
when I broke my shit playing football after the surgery I had pills but never took them for this fkn reason and honestly the pain is bad the first few days but its not that bad so I recommend not taking the pills its not worth
Well it depends what pills they've given you.
@@AnonymousUser77254 Exactly. Mike didn't say all medication is bad, he said over-perscribing opiods is bad.
My brother got perscribed a whole bunch of oxy after his tooth got knocked out in middle school but my mom is a nurse and she just had him take 2 tylenol and he was fine.
@@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 i had my wisdom teeth removed and they just gave me a few pills just in case but I stuck to tylenol and I was completely fine.
The moment he starts talking about heroin and alcoholism i thought. “Bet he’s from long island too” and was right. Long Island wastelanders represent.
Yep!
I can just imagine when they're old and helpless, they'll call him and he'll just tell them that he doesn't have any parents
Yo mad respect for this man and keep it up
9:20 Man, Umbrella academy is such a good show, also he's talking about Klaus in the 2nd season.
Yep! At his manor trying to convince him not to join. UA S2 was quite amazing for me. I lived the exact story Mike(Navy guy) did in his anecdote. My dad and stepmom are doing the same to me.
This guy played his hand the best he could. Respect.
Thank you for these
Thank you, Mike! I am inspired to the strength of your spirit and am very happy you shared this story. Also thank you to Syrmor for putting these kinds of stories out there to enlighten and inspire others.