I'm 15 and I obey my mom to the max, she is the one that is in total control. Everyday, I come home from school and the 1 st thing I do, is give her my phone...don't want any distractions, then I do my homework, then all the chores for that day, which must be done to my moms satisfaction. Then I do whatever she tells me to do with no back talk or arguing. On the weekends, I do want she wants me to do, Before I have my "Free time"
At about the 22 minute mark all the audio cuts out…is it my end?? I was so enjoying what you were saying and missed the last few minutes lol! Also not sure if I missed it, but could you recommend any books on habit training in general and for obedience??
My first child is this! Every detail!😭 I’m having such a hard time with him too, and his dad and I don’t have the same perspective on many things, which leads him to interrupt me when I’m in the middle of dealing with my child. I feel like this has undermined my authority, as my kid only listens when dad backs me up. It’s a mess right now and a huge stressor!
I am SO sorry that you and his dad aren’t on the same page 😔 That makes it difficult. I understand that it’s much better when Dad backs Mom up. Have you tried talking to him about it when it’s not in the heat of the moment? Hopefully you can come to some agreement, and you can explain to him how you want to raise and train your child well. Pray pray pray the Lord changes his heart!
@@JoyfulNoiseLearning Yes,that’s great advice. We seem to have to need to have a heart-to-heart discussion on this topic every few months, and we haven’t actually sat down and talked about it for a while now. I guess it’s a good reminder that we need to do that. I’m realizing now that I just need to have the patience and understanding that we’re not the same person and have to work together, to bring it up again, because it’s been feeling a little frustrating having the conversation on repeat. Thanks for your channel and the genuine content and interaction. God bless ❤️
I just wanted to say you are not alone in this situation. I can relate, unfortunately. Thanks for your transparency. I pray we can continue to be understanding and vulnerable with our partners even when it's hard. Hugs to you!
Just a thought...you said "my" child/kid instead of "our" child/kid. Also, "my authority." Does the father not have any authority or does yours simply trump his? I know NOTHING about you or the situation. For all I know, he's a laid-back, gives no rat patooties kind of guy and that doesn't fly with you. I don't mean to be rude or butt in where I wasn't asked but perhaps a bit of contemplating will bring you some clarity. Even if you aren't on the same page, it's his child, too...even if it's a step-dad. I say this as a mother who has often disagreed with the father/stepfather on things, including discipline. Best of luck ❤
I find maybe when my daughter was 4 i asked her why it wasnt ok to do such and such. Before then I'd explain to her. Like i remind her to not cross the street without a grownup (she knows not to go with strangers). And i ask her why. Once they know and able to verbalize the consequence or why we do certain things, i find its less of us as parents to be constantly don't do this or don't do that. Hope this makes sense.
What kind of consequence would be appropriate if you're telling your child its time to go, but they are not listening? Also how would you handle it? Should you take them by th e hand and make them leave??
That is SOOOO tough! You've got to be careful with your battles, otherwise it becomes a power struggle, and you'll lose no matter what. What I've found that helps is giving them a 5 minutes or 10 minute warning (or both). That way your child will be mentally ready for when you say "It's time to go!" Also, be careful with saying "time to go" and then not really going, lol. (I do this sometimes 😬) Otherwise your kiddo will learn, 'oh, Mommy doesn't mean it.' It's helpful for them to mean it every time we say it, and actually go, Then they'll trust you and be more inclined to leave when you tell them. If it's leaving your own home, what helps is 5-10 minutes before you have to go, have them start getting ready... shoes on, go potty, grab a snack, or whatever they need to do. Or give them that warning if they are playing or watching something. "In 5 minutes, we are going to get ready to leave and turn the tablet off..." For consequences I would say, "You can walk with Mommy now, or I will carry you to the car. Your choice." I've totally done that, and often times ended up carrying them.
@@JoyfulNoiseLearning Thank you so much for the thoughtful response! I will definitely be more mindful to give the 5 to 10 warning before leaving. I had a similar consequence idea like the one you mentioned, so I will definitely apply it. Thanks again, and I'm really enjoying your content!
parents of non compliant children just remember that non compliant doesn't equal bad. if the world were perfect we could easily obey earthly authority and God's will. unfortunately as our children grow they are going to face earthly authority that conflicts against God. they will need the courage to disobey earthly authority when that authority is leading them the right way.
When is the next video "How to teach your wives to obey" coming? It could say in the description - "It can be so hard to teach our wives good habits, especially how to obey. I want to share our story and how it’s been a long journey for us, and how we’ve grown in this area to train our wives in good obedience habits." If that is sexist? then how is this not ageist? instead of making "obedience" your focus like MILLIONS did (and still do eg. middle east) to their spouse, why not make being kind and MUTUAL respect the focus, when people in the west *finally* decided to do this for the wives in the households, the homes did not abrupt into chaos like so many swore they would and the wives did not get hurt as the it's for her "protection" was just a rationalisation for oppressing her and she didn't develop poor habits like everyone claimed she would, next time someone comes along claiming the same thing you should be sceptical if it just turned out to be false prior last time it was claimed. "Do unto other's how you'd have them do unto you" that line is the only thing you need to know for spousal relationships, co-worker relationships, friends, when interacting with stranger's and when interacting with your sons and daughters. Stop all the talk of "obey" and don't be so condescending that 100% puts a bug in people, a lust to be older and "in charge" and that is NOT good for someone's ego and does not breed humility but instead a power abuser and lower self esteem and confidence. It also inspire rebellion and only serves to make it more attractive anyway. Safer treating them with actual respect, no lip service at all but genuine respect and speak to them like you would an elder or same age person.
I appreciate your thoughts, though I disagree. I'm curious though, did you watch my entire video? I know that 'obey' is a bad word in some people's mouths, but it is REALLY different in the way it is defined by the Bible. Plus, we have to know God's entire character in order to understand that obedience is a good thing... it's not done out of a dictatorship or selfish reasons. Maybe those in your life that you have seen that have been your authority figures (parents, bosses, teachers, etc...) were not good examples of a loving, and selfless God. Check out Philippians 2:1-11.... "Jesus who, be in very nature God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasp, took on the very nature of a servant. And being found in human nature, he humbled himself and became obedient, even to death on a cross. Therefore at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow in heaven and earth... to the glory of God the Father." Our God is the only one who has come to SERVE. So if I can fully trust in his authority, as a humble, righteous, and loving God, I can trust Him to teach and train my kids in knowing and respecting authority. I do all my obedience training with my kids respectfully. It's not to press them, or brow beat them AT ALL. Plus, I don't see how my video has anything to do with "training wives???" I don't speak to that topic.
Do you obey laws? Traffic laws? Your boss when he/she gives you a task? Store policies? Your mom when she asked you to do you laundry? I’d hate to live in a society where obedience wasn’t required. Obedience is not a scary word. It’s simply an act we do everyday in order to live in a normal functioning society. It’s our job as parents to teach our children obedience and our job as Christina parents to teach obedience in the Lord so they can function and live in this society and contribute to society, it doesn’t mean we want them to be robots and just listen to everyone.
I know what you mean!! 😂 I’ve worked hard over the years to get better at that. And in my editing I edit out a lot of rambling. This video was Live, so it’s not edited 😉
I'm 15 and I obey my mom to the max, she is the one that is in total control.
Everyday, I come home from school and the 1 st thing I do, is give her my phone...don't want any distractions, then I do my homework, then all the chores for that day, which must be done to my moms satisfaction. Then I do whatever she tells me to do with no back talk or arguing.
On the weekends, I do want she wants me to do, Before I have my "Free time"
Perfect timing! We are starting with our first habit this fall and we’re doing obedience! Love hearing your ideas! 😀
Thank you! Glad I could encourage you!
I needed this so bad thank you!
I'm happy to help :)
At about the 22 minute mark all the audio cuts out…is it my end?? I was so enjoying what you were saying and missed the last few minutes lol! Also not sure if I missed it, but could you recommend any books on habit training in general and for obedience??
I know it cut out 😭 I filmed a part 2 and it has all the rest of the talk! You can watch it here: ruclips.net/video/Uwl5CrZlutI/видео.html :)
We are working on the habit of attention right now in our home.
My first child is this! Every detail!😭 I’m having such a hard time with him too, and his dad and I don’t have the same perspective on many things, which leads him to interrupt me when I’m in the middle of dealing with my child. I feel like this has undermined my authority, as my kid only listens when dad backs me up. It’s a mess right now and a huge stressor!
I am SO sorry that you and his dad aren’t on the same page 😔 That makes it difficult. I understand that it’s much better when Dad backs Mom up. Have you tried talking to him about it when it’s not in the heat of the moment? Hopefully you can come to some agreement, and you can explain to him how you want to raise and train your child well. Pray pray pray the Lord changes his heart!
@@JoyfulNoiseLearning Yes,that’s great advice. We seem to have to need to have a heart-to-heart discussion on this topic every few months, and we haven’t actually sat down and talked about it for a while now. I guess it’s a good reminder that we need to do that. I’m realizing now that I just need to have the patience and understanding that we’re not the same person and have to work together, to bring it up again, because it’s been feeling a little frustrating having the conversation on repeat.
Thanks for your channel and the genuine content and interaction. God bless ❤️
I just wanted to say you are not alone in this situation. I can relate, unfortunately. Thanks for your transparency. I pray we can continue to be understanding and vulnerable with our partners even when it's hard. Hugs to you!
Just a thought...you said "my" child/kid instead of "our" child/kid. Also, "my authority." Does the father not have any authority or does yours simply trump his? I know NOTHING about you or the situation. For all I know, he's a laid-back, gives no rat patooties kind of guy and that doesn't fly with you. I don't mean to be rude or butt in where I wasn't asked but perhaps a bit of contemplating will bring you some clarity. Even if you aren't on the same page, it's his child, too...even if it's a step-dad.
I say this as a mother who has often disagreed with the father/stepfather on things, including discipline.
Best of luck ❤
I find maybe when my daughter was 4 i asked her why it wasnt ok to do such and such. Before then I'd explain to her. Like i remind her to not cross the street without a grownup (she knows not to go with strangers). And i ask her why. Once they know and able to verbalize the consequence or why we do certain things, i find its less of us as parents to be constantly don't do this or don't do that. Hope this makes sense.
This was so good.
Thank you so much, Ashlea!! :)
What kind of consequence would be appropriate if you're telling your child its time to go, but they are not listening? Also how would you handle it? Should you take them by th e hand and make them leave??
That is SOOOO tough! You've got to be careful with your battles, otherwise it becomes a power struggle, and you'll lose no matter what. What I've found that helps is giving them a 5 minutes or 10 minute warning (or both). That way your child will be mentally ready for when you say "It's time to go!" Also, be careful with saying "time to go" and then not really going, lol. (I do this sometimes 😬) Otherwise your kiddo will learn, 'oh, Mommy doesn't mean it.' It's helpful for them to mean it every time we say it, and actually go, Then they'll trust you and be more inclined to leave when you tell them.
If it's leaving your own home, what helps is 5-10 minutes before you have to go, have them start getting ready... shoes on, go potty, grab a snack, or whatever they need to do. Or give them that warning if they are playing or watching something. "In 5 minutes, we are going to get ready to leave and turn the tablet off..."
For consequences I would say, "You can walk with Mommy now, or I will carry you to the car. Your choice." I've totally done that, and often times ended up carrying them.
@@JoyfulNoiseLearning Thank you so much for the thoughtful response! I will definitely be more mindful to give the 5 to 10 warning before leaving. I had a similar consequence idea like the one you mentioned, so I will definitely apply it. Thanks again, and I'm really enjoying your content!
For some reason this video cuts out part way through and you can't hear anything :( Sarah
I know :( My audio broke! The second half is up as another video! Here's the link: ruclips.net/video/Uwl5CrZlutI/видео.html
Your son who could negotiate before he could talk may end up as a very successful lawyer, or maybe president 😅
😂😂 I’ve told him he may make a good lawyer some day!
parents of non compliant children just remember that non compliant doesn't equal bad. if the world were perfect we could easily obey earthly authority and God's will. unfortunately as our children grow they are going to face earthly authority that conflicts against God. they will need the courage to disobey earthly authority when that authority is leading them the right way.
When is the next video "How to teach your wives to obey" coming? It could say in the description -
"It can be so hard to teach our wives good habits, especially how to obey. I want to share our story and how it’s been a long journey for us, and how we’ve grown in this area to train our wives in good obedience habits."
If that is sexist? then how is this not ageist? instead of making "obedience" your focus like MILLIONS did (and still do eg. middle east) to their spouse, why not make being kind and MUTUAL respect the focus, when people in the west *finally* decided to do this for the wives in the households, the homes did not abrupt into chaos like so many swore they would and the wives did not get hurt as the it's for her "protection" was just a rationalisation for oppressing her and she didn't develop poor habits like everyone claimed she would, next time someone comes along claiming the same thing you should be sceptical if it just turned out to be false prior last time it was claimed.
"Do unto other's how you'd have them do unto you" that line is the only thing you need to know for spousal relationships, co-worker relationships, friends, when interacting with stranger's and when interacting with your sons and daughters.
Stop all the talk of "obey" and don't be so condescending that 100% puts a bug in people, a lust to be older and "in charge" and that is NOT good for someone's ego and does not breed humility but instead a power abuser and lower self esteem and confidence. It also inspire rebellion and only serves to make it more attractive anyway. Safer treating them with actual respect, no lip service at all but genuine respect and speak to them like you would an elder or same age person.
I appreciate your thoughts, though I disagree. I'm curious though, did you watch my entire video? I know that 'obey' is a bad word in some people's mouths, but it is REALLY different in the way it is defined by the Bible. Plus, we have to know God's entire character in order to understand that obedience is a good thing... it's not done out of a dictatorship or selfish reasons. Maybe those in your life that you have seen that have been your authority figures (parents, bosses, teachers, etc...) were not good examples of a loving, and selfless God. Check out Philippians 2:1-11.... "Jesus who, be in very nature God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasp, took on the very nature of a servant. And being found in human nature, he humbled himself and became obedient, even to death on a cross. Therefore at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow in heaven and earth... to the glory of God the Father." Our God is the only one who has come to SERVE. So if I can fully trust in his authority, as a humble, righteous, and loving God, I can trust Him to teach and train my kids in knowing and respecting authority. I do all my obedience training with my kids respectfully. It's not to press them, or brow beat them AT ALL.
Plus, I don't see how my video has anything to do with "training wives???" I don't speak to that topic.
Do you obey laws? Traffic laws? Your boss when he/she gives you a task? Store policies? Your mom when she asked you to do you laundry? I’d hate to live in a society where obedience wasn’t required. Obedience is not a scary word. It’s simply an act we do everyday in order to live in a normal functioning society. It’s our job as parents to teach our children obedience and our job as Christina parents to teach obedience in the Lord so they can function and live in this society and contribute to society, it doesn’t mean we want them to be robots and just listen to everyone.
I accidentally hit dislike 😬 tried to fix it but wasn't working smh 🤦♀️
uh oh! Thanks for letting me know! 😆
great info, but can you get to the point in your videos :)
I know what you mean!! 😂 I’ve worked hard over the years to get better at that. And in my editing I edit out a lot of rambling. This video was Live, so it’s not edited 😉