Why men are failing.

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  • Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024

Комментарии • 62

  • @elrogelio
    @elrogelio Год назад +32

    This video notification just triggered a core memory. I remember reading your book before my wife and I got married. We now have two sons and 5 years of marriage on our belt. Blessings to you and your family Jeff.

    • @JeffersonBethkepage
      @JeffersonBethkepage  Год назад +10

      That makes me feel super old, and humbled, and grateful, all at the same time!!

    • @77ID
      @77ID 9 месяцев назад

      m.ruclips.net/video/H0u6fznZ1uo/видео.html

  • @Sam-pm7lo
    @Sam-pm7lo Год назад +15

    They’re back!!! Notification squad where y’all at???

  • @sunshop09
    @sunshop09 Год назад +5

    Just good to see your videos rollin!

  • @ammsgod1764
    @ammsgod1764 Год назад +4

    I thought Jeff had forgotten the login for this channel. Glad to see he is here to make these rare appearance

  • @JADiaz10
    @JADiaz10 Год назад +6

    Much of it comes due to not having a father in the household. Women cannot raise men. I used to blame myself for my shortcomings as a man until I realized that. My dad left us as an infant and that alone completely altered the trajectory of my life. I’m sure it has for many others without their fathers. He’s nearly 60 and still a child in many ways. Had his 4th kid from a 3rd baby mother like 7-8 years ago and left them the same way he did his other kids. It’s sad and pathetic when someone that old can still be uninitiated.

  • @jamesduncan8592
    @jamesduncan8592 11 месяцев назад +3

    That's real, I thank god for this & you as a consistent vessel. I watched you growing up as a youth, now 21 and Ive been going through that stage of separation, learning to be alone. I was back and forth only producing unstableness for myself. Shame is necessary for me. Made sure i downloaded this. Now I pray for a fresh start for myself and forgive and hold others to a higher standard who were just like me. Thanks.

  • @Jasmineocreates
    @Jasmineocreates Год назад +5

    So good to see you back! Thanks for this

  • @amunoz61
    @amunoz61 Год назад +4

    This is so good. I totally agree. I would love to hear your thoughts though Jeff, on how we can initiate men modern day.

  • @brookssa08
    @brookssa08 Год назад +12

    Most definitely, girls are taught to be expectable women by older generations of women but where’s that direction of leadership and guidance when men were locked up at point of birth for most children especially in the 80s& 90s…. It’s made men in society less accountable for their actions and mistakes because of a lack of understanding and knowledge in how to do things as a man that’s Matured. And the even worse thing is it feels like a women has to fix the problem(s) pertaining to this issue cuz there still aren’t enough men leading by example for young boys to follow.

  • @davidlyleson1111
    @davidlyleson1111 Год назад +15

    Physical discipline I think is one important thing we can utilize to initiate man.boys in to our culture. Physical discipline can range from delaying gratification of one’s ego, and sexual urges, to hitting the gym at 6:00am even though your body says no. Also to take up the mantle of responsibility by being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ by becoming more selfless; such as raising kids and being a good husband/father.

    • @tibbs4000
      @tibbs4000 11 месяцев назад

      Transitioning to adult things, like marriage and parenthood is supposed to change boys to men, but some men can still disappoint and hurt us by self centered and childish behavior. Why? The 'rites of passage' didn't seem to make men out of those men. What failed?

  • @user-hi4nd2ij1m
    @user-hi4nd2ij1m Год назад +2

    This was a really neat video. Thanks for sharing. I’d love to hear more about this through means of a podcast with you & your wife. Thankful for your thoughts!

  • @watchlistenwrite
    @watchlistenwrite Год назад +7

    I think this is called “growing up” and “becoming a better person.” I don’t think it can happen through a symbolic initiation. Every person, of any gender, needs to take responsibility sooner or later for their transition from adolescence to mature adulthood. I think that will look different for each individual.

  • @bbygrlpt2
    @bbygrlpt2 Год назад +3

    Wish you would start makin vids again I feel like the world needs to hear the Word of Gd now more than ever

  • @re13irthbassist611
    @re13irthbassist611 Год назад +2

    Man, I’d rather have a one on one chat about this - it’s very interesting.
    But I agree, we don’t have a trial system built in western culture. At times it’s “go to college, if you survive, complete school, and secure a job” you’ve succeeded, without tackling the how to be a good man aspect - “adulting” so to speak.
    Having read The Intentional Father and preparing my mind and environment to raise my two little boys, I want exactly this - an indoctrination of sorts… it’s still developing, but I want to ensure they’re prepared better than I was.
    Again, - a full on conversation but a necessary one.
    Welcome back.

  • @AMell718
    @AMell718 Год назад +2

    My only thought is that the only place I’ve seen boys become men (regardless of their age) is through biblical discipleship, where another man comes alongside them to challenge, sharpen, encourage, rebuke, train, and fellowship with the gospel and God’s Word. Men need other men.

  • @TheJoestier
    @TheJoestier Год назад +1

    Toughness seems to get recognized as manliness. People try being overly courageous and try impressive feats to prove themselves, rather than undergo the humble nature entangled with true development. In my opinion

  • @inkonparabl3l
    @inkonparabl3l Год назад +1

    Where have you been ?!! What a nice surprise

  • @CustomWeldingandFab
    @CustomWeldingandFab Год назад

    Yes!! Explains so much of what is going on in our society. My transition was military basic training which I believe most all men should have to experience.

  • @YoungTruthful18
    @YoungTruthful18 Год назад +1

    This is very accurate and a remarkable revelation I must say. I love how you phrased it uninitiated men. Jordan Peterson is the most solid and sensible of the 3 I would say.

  • @AJBeck280
    @AJBeck280 Год назад

    I am a perfect example of an uninitiated man. Thanks for sharing Jeff.

  • @donaldbohline5573
    @donaldbohline5573 11 месяцев назад

    This poses a deeper conversation that needs to be had, a man can only be challenged and fail or succeed if the surrounding environment allows it. What I mean by this is as a man who has periodically lost his way but was raised with morals and then put to the test those set of morals… for example my father was a stern man but fair, he taught respect, manners and forgiveness but the issue is although this man taught me these important lessons and then tested them and when I failed punished me to the right path sometimes stern sometimes delicate I know he did it ultimately because he loved me. With this long rant I want people to understand there’s a difference between discipline with love and a discipline with enablement! Love takes many forms and sometimes boils over to aggressive passion which sounds like an oxymoron, we so love this person that no matter how hard we try they just don’t get the morals or lesson we’re trying to instill. As a father of two children I realize my fathers lessons are the same ones I wish to teach but in a different manner. With this being said you can love and teach morals with discipline without constantly making excuses and enabling your child/wife/boss/ any person you with to teach because ultimately your not giving them the chance to fail.
    I love your videos I wish you and your family the absolute best!!!

  • @dauntlessg4ming
    @dauntlessg4ming Год назад

    Seems like a long time I have seen a new video from you guys. Good to see you back. Are you back?

  • @joshs8704
    @joshs8704 Год назад +3

    I think initiations can be helpful (though I'd argue most people would say living by yourself and being able to sustain yourself is one that is universal for men and woman), because developing and maturing into an adult isn't necessary a hereditary thing. But there are many other reasons why men seem to be failing ranging from lack of good male role models/fathers from an early age, NOT just initiation purposes, for aspirational reasons. A lack of emotional support amongst peers and sometimes family members, which may cause social withdrawal, lack of discipline there are many reasons.
    Also I don't think it's quite accurate or fair to say that Jordan Peterson is getting traction for offering pseudo initiations (though many are and I'm not sure if Joe Rogan is one of them). JP was at least initially and largely known for having a positive view of masculinity and manhood that guys could aspire to, for telling them that they have purpose, are necessary and having something of value to offer. I've seen alot of JP videos and haven't come across many initiations suggestions (besides maybe cleaning your room), I see alot more vision, constructive criticism from towards men, which I think is needed particularly in the church.
    What we need in the church (and society broadly) is more mentoring and community for guys, positive, actively constructive relationships are what will solve the ussue and within these, yes some initiations, but not without a good community. Unfortunately, the issue with suggested solutions to this topic is that they're far, far too impersonal. Most people change with the help of good relationships with others, not impersonal advice.

    • @ai.cherie
      @ai.cherie Год назад +1

      Well said

    • @oceangirlcollection
      @oceangirlcollection 11 месяцев назад

      Thank you for your thoughts - and I agree about JP 💯 %
      I also believe positive role models is so key in the initiation process.- to actually see men living as men - speaking as men , acting as men, being men and encouraging others to do so is more important than per say going on a hunt or run ect…cause what’s the point if you doing see the long term results of doing these things ?
      This is also relevant to the convicted way of live - in particular a believer .

  • @BramJonkheer
    @BramJonkheer Год назад

    Hi there, I've been thinking about this issue as well. I kinda like the Jewish tradition of celebrating becoming a man at the Bar Mitswah, but still, a real challenge would make that experience a lot more impactful. I'm almost becoming a dad for the first time and we're having a son, so I've already been thinking of things to say to him when he becomes older. I'm 25 now and I have experienced some of the modern challenges that you face as a teenage boy in the western society, which is especially hard if you try to stay close to God.
    In the Netherlands, a movement of men has started about 10 years ago, to challenge them by going on tough hikes in the wilderness without any contact with the home situation. Such a weekend has also been a great experience for me, especially a moment where we all committed to being a good (we could set our own more specific goals) man in our environment back home 💪🏼 it's called 4M (fourth musketeer), and the movement has already reached over 10,000 men here in the Netherlands!
    I'm excited to hear your opinions on a solution to the issue!

  • @Albuz1
    @Albuz1 Год назад

    Jeff, I met you at a church in Denver almost a decade ago as a college student, now 10 years later this video pops up in my feed and is a good reminder for my current place in life. Keep it up what you're doing. I wish you and your family the best.

  • @SamfromHR
    @SamfromHR Год назад

    Yeah bro 100% the book intentional father is a great resource for this exact matter

  • @rachelpacholl7308
    @rachelpacholl7308 Год назад

    I very much agree!
    Richard Rohr has some interesting thoughts on this in his book Adam’s Return. Falling Upward and Immortal Diamond are excellent accompaniments as well.

  • @Handlehandlehandle320
    @Handlehandlehandle320 Год назад +1

    In an ideal world a young man’s mother must release him from her protective arms, she must release him to fall and make mistakes and be hurt and not continue to keep him where he was only intended for a season. The next phase she’s required to take a back seat as the role of the father and other men comes to the forefront.
    Then, men who are of good character and wisdom take the young man together hunting/ camping in the wilderness for an extended period of time. This is where men speak frankly about being men, their roles and in detail about doing things: like what to look for in a partner and how to avoid making mistakes in choosing one, serving your family, temptations, work ethic (I am not a man, so I’m certain there’s so much more to to this but as a woman these are some of the issues I see with young men). I want to say again, for me, ideally these men would all be saved so it would come from a biblically sound perspective and not just feelings. The young man is expected to have his own questions to bring to them, and to take the lead in setting up and planning the trip, maybe navigate also. Learning the wisdom of knowing it’s okay to ask for help.
    As a woman, who currently homeschools two boys this is a topic I brought up early on, I do believe the father should take over the major role of teacher from the mother as the young men transition. I expect my husband to take my sons to work and mentor them, to discipline them and give them insight into how we lead.
    All this to say, I do understand in this day and age not everyone has their own business, nor the luxury or being able to take time off. This transition can look very different but still effective.
    My main point is the rising up of decent wise men to guide young men into manhood requires time and effort on their part, and it also requires the nurturing protective mother to release that young boy so that he may become a man. That last part sometimes never happens and that hinders so much of the process.

  • @NickArcade
    @NickArcade Год назад

    I'm so glad to see you

  • @adaliantsiki
    @adaliantsiki 2 месяца назад

    Jeff don't stop making videos

  • @Honorthetruth
    @Honorthetruth 2 месяца назад

    There is one million people in prison out of 333 million people in the u.s....we'll be just fine.

  • @rhymhizsong4214
    @rhymhizsong4214 Год назад +1

    the boys2Men Series?

  • @alolo933
    @alolo933 Год назад

    Hey it's so great to get new content from you! I'm actually rereading Jesus>Religion right now. Are you planning a book on masculinity?

  • @TheSportsandFilmFellowship
    @TheSportsandFilmFellowship Год назад

    I agree!! Welcome back! I think it’s how boys are being raised. I think if parents gave the boys the core values and had structure then the boyhood to a man transition would be better. The world today allot of men focus on social media and gossip instead of leading and taking care of the household.
    Dubois talks about this is Philadelphia negro. Or Baldwin

  • @jordankuck8702
    @jordankuck8702 Год назад

    I agree 100%. What it looks like to intiate men who didn't get to experiecne this, I have no idea. But I hope that you are able to shed some light onto this soon because men need it. They need to step up to the plate.

    • @Teol33
      @Teol33 Год назад

      The only credible piece of information here is that the poster is male, the concepts he's attempting to speak on have much deeper roots than his level of understanding. Rather than learning how to be a respectable human, he insteads chooses to follow in the footsteps of those who only damage the growth of humanities progress. He's even mentioned his inspirations in the video.

  • @CG-nr3nd
    @CG-nr3nd Год назад

    So In. Short, he's saying, "Grow the f up." 😂

  • @TimmyFloww
    @TimmyFloww Год назад

    Thanks Jeff, I really miss your podcast !
    I agree with what you've said and I think I will find some answers in the book named "fathered by God" from John Eldredge. Have you ever read this book ?
    Blessings

  • @vanseliz24
    @vanseliz24 Год назад

    This is an interesting thought, but I feel like the bigger issues stem from formation (or rather lack thereof). Fatherlessness; lack of good role models or guidance; stigma around what "being a man" means for expressing emotions, and thus no framework to process them in a healthy way; no meaningful community ties or sense of being connected to a bigger purpose. I'm sure an initiation ritual can be a helpful part of the process, but I imagine the deep and lasting changes needed will be a slow process. And I hope the initiation process will leave room for different expressions of masculinity, instead of reinforcing cultural ideals (like wilderness and fires and building things with your bare hands) that might further alienate men who feel they don't fit into the traditional expectations.

  • @jettaye2083
    @jettaye2083 Год назад

    This is true of the physical and social, but I never felt truly initiated until I felt the fear of being separated from God...by way of the consequences of my sin. Jesus is the Way (,Truth, and Life), so He is also certainly a "Rite of Passage".
    Parents, let's all step up... I mean really step up. The reason we have uninitiated men and ungraceful women, is because we are not planting virtue into our children well enough.
    J.B., Love your videos. I loved your book Jesus>Religion. Great testimony about your college years in there I'm sure a lot of uninitiated men could relate to. Praise God and press forward! 🙏

  • @fightthegoodfightoffaithmi8676

    Proverbs 11:30
    The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.
    Ephesians 5:16
    Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
    2 Timothy 2:10
    Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.

  • @tibbs4000
    @tibbs4000 11 месяцев назад

    I do think society has initiations for men. They are just toxic ones that lead to toxic males. Interested to hear what more you have to say about healthy initiations.

  • @oceangirlcollection
    @oceangirlcollection 11 месяцев назад

    I am grateful for men like -Andrew Lieberman and Jordan Peterson -these men serve in the capacity of reaching “regular men” sinking in despair and darkness.
    So yes- while mens souls needs to be ultimately saved - to take a page from Jesus - their bodys and minds needs to be fed first - oftentimes.
    Then those who know and can speak to the true nature of despair & darkness can join in and be effective in their work to reach them .
    God calls many in different ways - and works through many in different ways -
    My calling does not look like your- and remember Jesus said - “if they are not against us they are for us”.
    Just some thoughts on this subject -

  • @raygenbrown5180
    @raygenbrown5180 Год назад

    UGH! You’re such a thoughtful person. Thank you for your passion, endless curiosity and devotion to the Kingdom being known in and through families. 🥹☀️

  • @rhymhizsong4214
    @rhymhizsong4214 Год назад

    btw, you still got it.
    You make being on-camera look easy!
    the late great Steve Hill was like that.
    6-10 years looks good on you Jefferson.
    prolly need a bit more sleep!

  • @ChristianRamirez-zo7vj
    @ChristianRamirez-zo7vj Год назад

    Well all mature definitely we shouldn't use that as an excuse we need to be removed from our comfort zones because other wise we're just surviving and not living. We're failing as a society by being a sisters keeper or brothers keeper you don't have to give someone money show them what a good time with money can be. You can show them and inspire tham what good hand can truly be. By talking about what makes you get up and getting motivated. And truely be there for a brother or sister. But don't forget u can't help those that don't wanna be help. But u can stay in your own lane and keep in contact. And if they let anger consume and blind them for what you are trying to give them... well sometimes you just gotta keep trying it'll annoy them but keep approaching them with kindness how they're doing and if they sound like they're in bad mood ask if they're okay and suggest they sound like they're mad if they ask. Be a good hand. They'll thank you in life later create and build your solitude of respect for each other the dark joking around will come with it. People are failing as a whole together its not just one gender get it together man. You're better and smarter then that because u know but side be acting up and fucking up and fucking everything up before, during, and after.

  • @hopethomas2419
    @hopethomas2419 10 месяцев назад

    Hi Jeff.. my name is Malise. I would love to meet or speak to you and your wife about something I am struggling with that made me think of you guys. How could I speak with you guys? I hope this will reach to you guys

  • @foolish_machiavellian3448
    @foolish_machiavellian3448 Год назад

    Turns out letting people just do what they want doesn't work, who would have thunk it?
    The problem is Christians don't have a sense of masculine honor and is fundamentally anti-male nowadays unlike Eastern Orthodoxy as it doesn't hate men just yet but virtually every other denomination and sect seems to and I can tell all the protestant sects do by default.
    It is merely you exist to suffer for those around and expect nothing in return. Then when this philosophy destroys thousands upon thousands of men's lives you are surprised when they reject everything you are. Then the real fun starts when they see the truth that "masculinity" is socially defined and not inherit to men and that masculinity's sole purpose is to enslave thyself to women. While women are permitted every vice under the sun with minimal or no consequences.
    Teach men to protect and respect themselves, to create what THEY want in life but instead you want slaves and to teach said slaves to love their enslavement as having a master that determines your fate gives purpose said the good little slave.

  • @rhymhizsong4214
    @rhymhizsong4214 Год назад +1

    as a fem, I do NOT qualify to give an answer. Only a real man can affirm the manhood of another boy/man.
    The only 'initiation' into manhood I'm aware of (in my generation) was the obvious lockeroom topic...the race to end virginity. That is ALL we offer guys.😢 to build a macho ego and gain STDs. by 8th ir 9th grade but definitely by Prom at the absolute latest.
    Also probably city kids never get the chance to be taught rife-ull basics so they run to gangs to get their 🔥-power fix.
    I think about my grandpa joining the Navy (underage by lying) in WW2 then marrying a young mom with a 2yo little girl once he got home.
    The day that America stopped modeling humble service by the giving of your strength to sacrifice for the benefit of something greater, someone weaker, or because God graced you to be able to.....that is when the last real men died. Thank God some are still around, but they are a precious few "good" amongst the blowhard, or self absorbed majority. IMO.
    My only solution:
    CONNECT the Grandfathers & sacrificial leaders to the youth/ those who are able to receive instruction.
    Lock up the narcissists & psychopaths to stop their influence by telling them they are joining an 'elite media influencers club' that requires 24/7 filming...let them bloviate their pompous ideas as a record of who NOT to become in life.

  • @Gabbsters15
    @Gabbsters15 Год назад

    J

  • @danielcole156
    @danielcole156 Год назад

    What happened to his wife guess they didn’t work out probably because they didn’t experience sex before marriage and one of the other suck at it

    • @4elizabeth
      @4elizabeth Год назад

      Wut? They’re still married and have three kiddos together. Don’t be a hater.

  • @Teol33
    @Teol33 Год назад +2

    Might want to stick to making vlogs, taking on a philosophical turn would require years of experience analyzing multitudes of facets of life that you're clearly lacking. Interesting concept, poor execution. A little research would do you wonders, the path is lay before you all you need to do is walk it properly. Or go back to what allowed you to believe you have the fortitude to take on such an endeavor.

  • @oceangirlcollection
    @oceangirlcollection 11 месяцев назад

    I am grateful for men like -Andrew Lieberman and Jordan Peterson -these men serve in the capacity of reaching “regular men” sinking in despair and darkness.
    So yes- while mens souls needs to be ultimately saved - to take a page from Jesus - their bodys and minds needs to be fed first - oftentimes.
    Then those who know and can speak to the true nature of despair & darkness can join in and be effective in their work to reach them .
    God calls many in different ways - and works through many in different ways -
    My calling does not look like your- and remember Jesus said - “if they are not against us they are for us”.
    Just some thoughts on this subject -