Nine times out of 10 that will always be the result of being a good leader is that you’re also learning, as you are building no leader can ever say they didn’t learn from their followers or their counterparts that is the maturity of it, and if you do not grow, then that is the immaturity side of it That you think you are the all in all just because you were the “leader. I have never been in a leadership position where I didn’t learn from what I was organizing, or putting on even as an actor when I’m portraying characters I am learning from the character that I am becoming, because there are pieces of that character that’s in me and that storyline that I am portraying, or the message that I am giving to the audience, can also touch my life even though I am the tool that is being used to give the message.
27:58 This is so frustrating. Why do we have to threaten to leave for men to wake up? I wish women didn’t have to endure so much to get the love we deserve.
I cant figure out how to comment except for commenting on other people's comments. But i wanted to say that men do need to have that emotional connection as well. I learned from another youtube channel and it makes perfect sence. Men dont only need wifes who cook, clean, do laundry, put away their clothes, etc. Men need to feel an emotional connection to experience intimacy and understand it and experience deeper love, better sex, etc..
Another great episode!!! I'm going to set the tone and go get personal therapy! I want stage 5 manhood! I will put my wife 1st! I will communicate better, weekly sync meeting, be more patient! I am looking forward to lead by love and serving! Let's do the work! This will be fun!!! Now of course at 1st, she will be thinking that I'm just "checking the boxes" but consistency is KING!!!
Yes to this!!! 🙌🏽 Please continue to share/spread this mindset. So many men are fighting the stigma around therapy (including my man). Therapy literally helps us get to our breakthrough! ❤ Best wishes to you & your wife.
I love my husband but this made me leave after 13 years and 4 kids later. 😢 the inappropriate behavior from another man and your man not handling it is so on point! I wish I would have found this channel a long time ago. Getting away with everything is spot on! As women because we want to keep our family together so we let things slide. This hurts so bad! We've been separated for 4 months and he has never fought for us to stay together, never fought for our family to stay together and this hurts so BAD! He is with other women already literally only 2 weeks after we relocated. I will be okay and i will figure this out.
Wow! I feel your pain. He is a boy. With no personal development or self awareness he will stay that way. Marriage is for grown men and women who are both ready to throw everything they’ve got to keep that connection. I went to therapy to see why I kept choosing boys - I was trying to save my father and I was also emotionally immature and had arrested development from trauma. I was still a broken little girl so how could I choose a man? I grew up from healing - therapy and books, learned how to choose better and you will too! If he sees himself and mans up, it could work but if not…you will know what to do.
why should he fight when you chose to leave. Would you fight if he wanted to leave. You made your decision after 13years. Imagine invested financially, emotionally, mentally for over a decade and your partner wants to leave. I imagine he was exhausted
@moneyman8777 I fought for my marriage the entire time ie. Getting us marriage counseling and a ton of other examples to try and keep our marriage alive. My husband literally told me to leave and abandon our marriage 2 years prior to me leaving by sleeping in the basement, watching porn and looking at women on social media. There is so much more, but now that I'm at the healing point, I blame both of us for not fighting hard enough and not putting God first. I now know how to process my emotions for my next relationship once I feel comfortable enough to move forward.
This is a great topic. I scanned through the comments and they are from majority women. I wish men would seek this type of counsel from men. It can really strengthen relationships and families.
I'm so grateful that I ran across this video because this has opened my eyes to so many things that you all touched on ! I"ve been married for 34 plus years,and we have many gaps! I've told my husband what I want ,and I'm beginning to sound like a broken record which means I'm at a breaking point ,if I don't see any behavioral changes going forward,our only resolution is separation! He is very manipulative and has become a compulsive liar, which has caused trust issues in our marriage! I've evolved through the years, but it's obvious that he has not become a mature man, but still acts like a childish boy! Thank you guys for the wisdom ,and insight! I asked him to listen to this podcast, because he's too prideful to seek marital counseling of any sort! You guys are probably my last resort! Thank you,because this will also help me going forward in making my decision whether to stay or move on.
He'll be thinking you weren't gonna leave then be like oh damn she was fr🤣. They don't see reality until it's too late smh. Do what you have to do for you!
Moved 2k miles to be with him. He moved our wedding date 3 times this yr because he couldn't simply complete premarital counseling. So I'm looking for an apt.
I just stumbled on this channel. I had no idea this kind of educative,healthy and authentic podcast exist and it is been executed by young vibrant black men. I feel proud.Awesome!!
The body language tells it all ❤️🔥 When you guys are listening, hanging onto every word, those are my favorite episodes. No presumptions, just straight absorption and I love that for you guys!! I love that for all of us! 💛✨
When you're in a relationship you both agree on but the other person treated it like they were single or in a situationship. That hits home. It will hurt to leave, but the temporary pain is better than losing your sanity and happiness in the end. Gamble for someone better that might show up in the future. Don't waste time when the other person doesn't want to do the work.
My husband is a good man, we have had hard seasons. He mirrors Christ to me and is always serving me. Long time ago I tried the petty route and it does not work. I don’t suggest what Kendall is mentioning. You feel empty yourself and it doesn’t make your spouse change. I recommend mirroring Christ to your spouse and continuing to pray for them. Communicate clearly your needs to them. Also take a look at yourself and realize your not perfect. Become the best version of yourself. There is always something you can do better. Marriage is hard work. Let him see you going to counseling, let him see you reading the word daily. Let him see you teaching the kids. Do not be petty!
This is really good talk. Some Men don’t understand what it means for a woman to feel emotionally neglected. This is really the crux of the matter many divorces and separation are based on this. The little things count so much to us women. Men are hunters once they get what they want .. they relax. They don’t see any need to do those things they did when they were chasing. Honestly I hate love . It’s caused me so much heartbreak and headache and I’ve given up on it. Cos in relationships I give my allll but I never get 50 percent of what I give . So I think im done . I’ve disconnected. He’s so right we must give each other the same energy .
A key thing this brother missed is his wife's love language, "words of affirmation" (that's how SHE RECEIVES/PERCEIVES LOVE). It's obvious his is "acts of service". I believe Dr Gary Chapman's book, 'The Five Love Languages' would be a game changer for not only couples but for our family members as well.
I was thinking the same thing. It was a red flag 🚩 to me when he admitted that and said it repeatedly. If you can’t do that in your own marriage then how are you coaching anyone else? He sounds good 👍🏾 but he’s a good used car salesman. 🤷🏾♂️ And to add to this, if you’re talking to me about marriage and you’re not mentioning the creator of marriage then that’s another red flag 🚩. It’s a good conversation about your opinion but what is the foundation?
Agape love; is a Godly love. Absolutely no condition, no expectation, nothing in return is necessary from your end for me to love you. God loves us from embryo through infinity💝
He is so right about communication. It will benefit you to learn how to communicate before you get married because most don’t know how. And may not realize they don’t know how until their in an argument with their significant other and they’re walking away from the relationship.
Wow, this is a really beautiful show. This is a breath of fresh air from how I normally hear men speak about women and relationships. As a woman, I'm learning a lot about men from this conversation, and I'll be able to respond to situations better as well as help me to stop giving so much if not receiving 😌
When I was a little girl I wanted my mother to keep moving forward after my habitual drunk stepdad literally kicked her out of their home. Instead, she kept returning back to the abusive marriage. Simply, because he financially provided for all of us! Eventually, because he was twenty years older than my mom he lost strength and stopped physically beating her. I still wanted her to leave him and divorce him because the verbal and emotional abuse never stopped!! After twenty years of marriage he got sick with lung Cancer. My mom had that agape love and took care of him like he was an innocent baby until he took his last breath!! Now, will I put up with such abuse short or long term? Absolutely NO!! I am simply not built like that. I am a natural lover and not a fighter. I am a natural protector and not a punching bag receiving nor giving. Periodtt.
@@TheShermanki1Not "why" did he do the abusive behavior, but "what for"? If the wife stayed with the abuser for the family, even to the point of taking care of him and tolerating his abuse up until he died, WHAT did he do the abuse for?
Your mother deserved it. There were plenty of boys her own age who she rejected that she could have gotten with but she chose your father because your father didn't care about her and that meant in your mother's brain that he was more "alpha". Crocodile tears. I was raised by a single mother who always gets into abusive relationships. She CHOOSES those relationships because she wants to be dominated by a man even if it's abusive. She's no victim and she's no hero. I don't blame you for being naive and falling for her crocodile tears but I also don't respect you for it at the same time.
I could cry just listening to this… the light bulb comment, closing the gap, issues happening when we don’t communicate!!! The 5 stages of a MAN!!!! 💎🔥It’s been 18yrs of marriage and I’m still learning! This was so Organic… Thanks so much
Weekly dates, not weekly conversation about the relationship. That would be exhausting. If we checking in weekly then we got some issues going on. We suppose to be adults so the conversation should be had early in the relationship. Taking time getting to kno each other etc.
Tysean and Ryan you all ask the best questions. It shows your preparation and attention to your guests and the conversation. I just want to affirm you in your journey of excellence in this work. God bless you.
I never minded if things my man does for me was organic or not... The fact that he does it because it matters to me, is what Always means so much to me!!!
In my opinion, I Feel that a woman who is OK with a man going out smashing other women just as long as he take care of the household clothes food is a woman that is living in her low register. She has been hurt by men too many times for her to believe anything else, so her coping is just to allow you to do. I also feel that as a woman who ultimately does not really like you because is she likes you and she wants to be with you, she’s not gonna be OK with Sharing. This is my opinion.
The fact that I clicked this video to get information on how to get a man to chase me. Smh I found out more about myself after watching the entire video 🤯 I call myself a vessel🏺of God, now Mr. Kendall is telling me to seek for a WELL made man.. but I’m still hurt❣️Literally 3 weeks I paused my search for a therapist, now I will do the work📌 Thank you fellas, this was amazing !! #BetterHelp drop them a check cause here I come ☺️
Oh my goodness… outstanding. Thank you for all you both do for marriages and relationships. You are on the frontlines battling for black marriage, family and relationships- I applaud you. These were thought provoking questions, intelligent and life shattering answers. Great job 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
My parents were married for 56 years before my father passed. I’ve never seen them argue, fight, or bicker. So when I got married I learned never to let my children see me, argue, fight, or bicker but what they didn’t get to see how to fix a relationship how to communicate through argument .
Okay! I came across this video while I’m still going back and forth about whether I need to file the paperwork and Mr. K just confirmed what I need to do. I have already removed myself from the toxic/ neglectful situation it just needs to be finalized. Thank you for this video.
I have a question for the hosts. How do you guys feel about benefiting from the same system that y’all give us game on? I’m not asking this is a rude way. I honestly want to know. Does doing the podcast make y’all want to do things differently?
I just found this channel and I must say this is great conversation, great dialogue for both men and women. I absolutely love it guys. You have gained a subscriber‼️
Excellent Conversation!!!! 32 years married.. I can relate to everything you talked about…you hit the nail on the head when you said married women who stay in unhealthy marriages are afraid to leave… for all of the reasons you mentioned.
32 years in for me too.. that line that he said you can be married 30- 40 years and it don't mean crap unless you're growing individually really hit me hard! I'm listening to it over and over. It is very hard when you've been in something this long to finally realize that you going to be the only one growing: (
I'm reminded of a quote I heard: "You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate" by RC Blakes when Mr. Ficklin said 'he will always do what you allow him to do' (around 37:50). So, in conclusion, women need to have some solid, well-stated boundaries. 😉👍
Hell Nahhh he want a ladder. Talm bout sum my focus is else where so ima need you to not only wash & dry my clothes but put them up and cook for me too!🧐??? Sir you want an in-house check & cleaning service smdh.
I Love this conversation and men being accountable for their actions and want to be a better man in his relationship. Men that are concerned about their wife or girlfriend feelings and the relationship they are building. This Podcast has helped me to really look at issues differently and handle situations differently and be honest about how I feel and things I'm not willing to accept in a relationship. Thanks Gentlemen for the knowledge I received today.💯😊
NAH MOVE ON! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE WITH A LAZY PARTNER? IF HE IS NO LONGER CONSISTENT AND PUTTING IN THE WORK, CUT HIM OFF. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT AND TRYING TO DO THINGS TO MAKE A MAN CHASE YOU AGAIN IS TOO MUCH MENTAL TORTURE.
Wow this is soo powerful. What’s up Kendall it’s been a long time Bro. These are the same conversations my wife and myself go through. It’s not about the sex it’s more about intimacy and good quality time. We’ve been to counseling but this podcast is the best counseling I’ve experienced.
You know what’s funny but it’s not funny we don’t even argue, that’s how much we don’t communicate don’t have conversation !!& this in the time we’ve been together!! I hate it!!
Always check on mom's no matter what TY shes your earth. My mom passed last year in October, she was my world, I'd give anything to hear her voice and see her face, so makes sure you make time for her. Cherish her presence every moment fam. 💯
Omg, I love you guys! I am New to your podcast, and watched a few interviews already 🥰 I wish I ran into you guys a few months ago before I walked out of my relationship! But God knows best! Keep up the good work. Watching you guys giving me a lot of tips for my future husband 🥰
Thank you for this platform- real, relevant and timely. I truly needed this, not sure how this came in my timeline but grateful for it. Learned a lot. Thanks for sowing into your audience.
I love Coach K, I would pay just to talk to him. Also this show is my favorite show about love, the role of being a man/father. Y’all left RUclips during the hardest part of my life prior to 10/27 I was really becoming my old self then my brother got shot n he didn’t make it. I ended up buying the app n the yearly subscription but the pain from losing a brother then my sister had an heart attack 4 months after still fucks me up. I always been the glue to the family but I’m lost with no one to pick me back up.
Losing your brother and sister 💔 😢 must be so difficult for you - my sincere condolences 🙏🏽 to you and your family. Fasting with prayer or meditation 🧘🏾♀️ for me back centered after some difficult situations. Dead sea salt bath 🛁 from salt that have been left out overnight 🌙 to be charged and to collect the morning 🌄 dew, with spring water 💧 or distilled water. Speak your affirmations into the salts before bathing with them... cleanse your mind, body, and spirit of negative energy. IF or AF fasting, for the strongest of negatives abstain from the strongest of foods. Raw, no meat or processed foods for 3 days. Find a juice bar 🍹 in your city and only drink the cleanest and freshest of blends. Sending you love ❤️ and abundance ✨️
Thanks for heads up sis I was almost gonna do that lucky scrolled through these comments😂😂…I guess you’re gonna be looking for a podcast on “how to repair his broken ego”
… and would like for that intention (the desire to interact with her in whatever way possible) to be expressed towards her in an organic way. the intimacy is not just about the act. It’s the intent behind the act. That’s what makes it organic and special and not a check list of actions to repeat.
I like that you mention getting better individually. Sometimes you got to step back and take a look at self and wonder if you're the problem instead of always assuming it's just the other person. Sometimes it can even be both. Try to be unbiased and react in a way from your own perspective and the others.
I’ve always said I’m so grateful my mom left my dad. It was so scary and toxic, literally affected my physical and mental health as a child. When my mom finally left, our lives were so much better. Please don’t stay for the kids, because the kids don’t want you, nor need you to stay.
I understand completely what you mean by loosing the connection of being organic over time but for me that’s hurtful because I feel like you don’t care anymore. Or is that something that u would need to work on within myself? Like could that possibly be a childhood trauma?
This is the only black owned podcast I’ve ever seen that holds both men and women accountable for their actions instead of pointing fingers at the opposite sex. Bravo I’m proud of these two kings🫶🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This is soooo refreshing and what’s missing from many young men’s lives! They NEED to hear and see what a MAN is! I just wish it didn’t take most men to get it at 50+ years old. ❤️
That's a word! I think too many people want to take and not give in these marriages, and that ends up nowhere. If folks think they're gonna get married and just sit on their ass without giving to their mates (women AND men) they're sadly mistaking. BOTH PARTIES have to give in a relationship...bring something to the table not just take, take take (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.!) These people are your spouses, NOT ya momma or ya daddy. 💯
102.01 this man LITERALLY just said that he can MANIPULATE because he’s smooth with his WORDS and did this in a therapy session! 😩😮💨🥴 That’s all you need to know about his “relationship advice”. 🤷🏾♂️
This is so good. I do not accept relationships easily. I divirced in 2012 and have only been with one man since. Even witu him, I gave him the "needs" speech and separated from him when i felt he was not listening. I feel that a man who really wants a woman will care about her needs and will not neglect to take the first step to see about her needs, that step being for him to have a conversation about it. If not, like it was said in the podcast, he is not a man ans does not care.
IF YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE RELATIONSHIP AND YOU NEVER NOTICE YOUR SPOUSE OR PARTNER IS NOT INVESTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP...THE RELATIONSHIP IS FAILING AND AT THE VERGE OF DISMANTLING. 💯 👑 💔 👑 💯
If a mature woman doesn't know how to cook, she will be accountable for managing herself and take a cooking class. It is a hard pill to swollow to have a list of requests from your partner that he expects you to properly manage on your own without him and then you have to help him do what you need. It can make you feel like you have to always be on duty to truly love one person in a two person relationship. You don't mind helping but you need to see when he has it and actively taking initiative to deal with his challenges through multiple sources including me (theraphy, reading books). You don't feel emotionally safe, loved, respect, sexual attraction, or spiritually covered otherwise. Then it is what is the incentive for a woman to marry or stay married if covering your heart and needs as a working, contributing woman is so extremely hard for your man?
Obviously it’s not the correct way to convey these truths to my man to just send him this video. Wondering whether there is a workbook or literature you suggest for both men and women that could guide a couple to understand and incorporate the changes needed to help a male to become this agape love man? Any suggestions?
This was a real conversation! I appreciated Coach K transparency. It definitely made me think about some questions I should be asking before I commit to a relationship. Thank you for breaking bread.
I wanted my parents to get a divorce when I was 6! 😂😂 they didn’t divorce until I was 23 and I was SO HAPPY!! I was happy af! So yes as kids we do ask why our parents don’t get divorced. Hell I was bold and asked mine! Why don’t y’all get divorced? Why are y’all still married?! 😂
Balck Women are the Original Queens... all life cones from us!!! We should be appreciated at all times!!! The angry black women needs LOVE too! We kind, gentle, loving black woman should not be taken for granted! LOVE CONQUERORS ALL❤
This is very effective for married couples, you could have a long lasting relationship with these principles it's looking like love and communication. I would love this as a married person. This is mature love it comes over time if you've tried other things and now if you've stayed together, try this.
👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards
These guys are healing off they own show. The maturity level is growing tremendously. Keep up the great work!
Bars 😄😄😄😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯
Yesss, I see it too 🥰
Nine times out of 10 that will always be the result of being a good leader is that you’re also learning, as you are building no leader can ever say they didn’t learn from their followers or their counterparts that is the maturity of it, and if you do not grow, then that is the immaturity side of it That you think you are the all in all just because you were the “leader. I have never been in a leadership position where I didn’t learn from what I was organizing, or putting on even as an actor when I’m portraying characters I am learning from the character that I am becoming, because there are pieces of that character that’s in me and that storyline that I am portraying, or the message that I am giving to the audience, can also touch my life even though I am the tool that is being used to give the message.
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT…BEAUTIFUL THING TO SEE
I notice that! I’m so proud
27:58 This is so frustrating. Why do we have to threaten to leave for men to wake up? I wish women didn’t have to endure so much to get the love we deserve.
Unfortunately most men are stuck in the male stage and they need to evolve and do the work to elevate to mature manhood. They’re emotionally immature.
Why do women keep marrying them when they’re in the boy stage is the question. Nobody teaches us what to look for in the first place.
👋👏👏👏That part!!!
That part
Absolutely 💯 😢
Honest, clean facts.
Men who value and want their women make the effort to change when she speaks up
I cant figure out how to comment except for commenting on other people's comments. But i wanted to say that men do need to have that emotional connection as well. I learned from another youtube channel and it makes perfect sence. Men dont only need wifes who cook, clean, do laundry, put away their clothes, etc. Men need to feel an emotional connection to experience intimacy and understand it and experience deeper love, better sex, etc..
Another great episode!!! I'm going to set the tone and go get personal therapy! I want stage 5 manhood! I will put my wife 1st! I will communicate better, weekly sync meeting, be more patient! I am looking forward to lead by love and serving! Let's do the work! This will be fun!!! Now of course at 1st, she will be thinking that I'm just "checking the boxes" but consistency is KING!!!
Let’s go bro!!! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
Yes to this!!! 🙌🏽 Please continue to share/spread this mindset. So many men are fighting the stigma around therapy (including my man). Therapy literally helps us get to our breakthrough! ❤ Best wishes to you & your wife.
Great next steps! May you have grace abound towards you to execute and continue through the growing pains. Kudos to you. Excited for your wife!
YES SIR! 💪
@@michellerenee8070: I’m excited for his wife too. I’m excited for their marriage, family and legacy!
I love my husband but this made me leave after 13 years and 4 kids later. 😢 the inappropriate behavior from another man and your man not handling it is so on point!
I wish I would have found this channel a long time ago. Getting away with everything is spot on! As women because we want to keep our family together so we let things slide. This hurts so bad! We've been separated for 4 months and he has never fought for us to stay together, never fought for our family to stay together and this hurts so BAD! He is with other women already literally only 2 weeks after we relocated.
I will be okay and i will figure this out.
Wow! I feel your pain. He is a boy. With no personal development or self awareness he will stay that way. Marriage is for grown men and women who are both ready to throw everything they’ve got to keep that connection. I went to therapy to see why I kept choosing boys - I was trying to save my father and I was also emotionally immature and had arrested development from trauma. I was still a broken little girl so how could I choose a man? I grew up from healing - therapy and books, learned how to choose better and you will too! If he sees himself and mans up, it could work but if not…you will know what to do.
Sending you peace and love
God has you covered love. You will be just fine❤.
why should he fight when you chose to leave. Would you fight if he wanted to leave. You made your decision after 13years. Imagine invested financially, emotionally, mentally for over a decade and your partner wants to leave. I imagine he was exhausted
@moneyman8777 I fought for my marriage the entire time ie. Getting us marriage counseling and a ton of other examples to try and keep our marriage alive. My husband literally told me to leave and abandon our marriage 2 years prior to me leaving by sleeping in the basement, watching porn and looking at women on social media. There is so much more, but now that I'm at the healing point, I blame both of us for not fighting hard enough and not putting God first. I now know how to process my emotions for my next relationship once I feel comfortable enough to move forward.
This is a great topic. I scanned through the comments and they are from majority women. I wish men would seek this type of counsel from men. It can really strengthen relationships and families.
I'm so grateful that I ran across this video because this has opened my eyes to so many things that you all touched on ! I"ve been married for 34 plus years,and we have many gaps! I've told my husband what I want ,and I'm beginning to sound like a broken record which means I'm at a breaking point ,if I don't see any behavioral changes going forward,our only resolution is separation! He is very manipulative and has become a compulsive liar, which has caused trust issues in our marriage! I've evolved through the years, but it's obvious that he has not become a mature man, but still acts like a childish boy! Thank you guys for the wisdom ,and insight! I asked him to listen to this podcast, because he's too prideful to seek marital counseling of any sort! You guys are probably my last resort! Thank you,because this will also help me going forward in making my decision whether to stay or move on.
Same situation I literally looked at my Apt today! Fed up angry black woman
I left already. Your breaking your own heart now.🤷🏽♀️🙏🏼💐
Leave
He'll be thinking you weren't gonna leave then be like oh damn she was fr🤣. They don't see reality until it's too late smh. Do what you have to do for you!
Moved 2k miles to be with him. He moved our wedding date 3 times this yr because he couldn't simply complete premarital counseling. So I'm looking for an apt.
I just stumbled on this channel. I had no idea this kind of educative,healthy and authentic podcast exist and it is been executed by young vibrant black men. I feel proud.Awesome!!
The body language tells it all ❤️🔥
When you guys are listening, hanging onto every word, those are my favorite episodes. No presumptions, just straight absorption and I love that for you guys!! I love that for all of us! 💛✨
When you're in a relationship you both agree on but the other person treated it like they were single or in a situationship. That hits home. It will hurt to leave, but the temporary pain is better than losing your sanity and happiness in the end. Gamble for someone better that might show up in the future. Don't waste time when the other person doesn't want to do the work.
❤❤❤
That’s good
My husband is a good man, we have had hard seasons. He mirrors Christ to me and is always serving me. Long time ago I tried the petty route and it does not work. I don’t suggest what Kendall is mentioning. You feel empty yourself and it doesn’t make your spouse change.
I recommend mirroring Christ to your spouse and continuing to pray for them. Communicate clearly your needs to them. Also take a look at yourself and realize your not perfect. Become the best version of yourself. There is always something you can do better. Marriage is hard work. Let him see you going to counseling, let him see you reading the word daily. Let him see you teaching the kids. Do not be petty!
🙏🏽
You are correct!
Yes Sis sending love your way this way so positive
I’m glad I kept searching for a believers comment because the first 20 mins in I was like something is just not right here… it’s missing Christ.
This is really good talk. Some Men don’t understand what it means for a woman to feel emotionally neglected. This is really the crux of the matter many divorces and separation are based on this. The little things count so much to us women. Men are hunters once they get what they want .. they relax. They don’t see any need to do those things they did when they were chasing. Honestly I hate love . It’s caused me so much heartbreak and headache and I’ve given up on it. Cos in relationships I give my allll but I never get 50 percent of what I give . So I think im done . I’ve disconnected. He’s so right we must give each other the same energy .
I totally understand this , I was divorced twice after more than 7 years of marriage both times .
Nooooooo don't give up, just let's choose differently ladies. We got this.
So get it !
Totally get it. I'm ready to press "reset"
THIS PODCAST HITS DIFFERENT.... intellectual conversations thank you!
The intelligence is hitting
This is one of the realest conversations I've heard about emotional connection. I love how he broke everything down. Thank you!!!
Thank you!!! 👏🏾👏🏾💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
💯!!
A key thing this brother missed is his wife's love language, "words of affirmation" (that's how SHE RECEIVES/PERCEIVES LOVE). It's obvious his is "acts of service". I believe Dr Gary Chapman's book, 'The Five Love Languages' would be a game changer for not only couples but for our family members as well.
I was thinking the same thing. It was a red flag 🚩 to me when he admitted that and said it repeatedly. If you can’t do that in your own marriage then how are you coaching anyone else? He sounds good 👍🏾 but he’s a good used car salesman. 🤷🏾♂️ And to add to this, if you’re talking to me about marriage and you’re not mentioning the creator of marriage then that’s another red flag 🚩. It’s a good conversation about your opinion but what is the foundation?
Agape love; is a Godly love. Absolutely no condition, no expectation, nothing in return is necessary from your end for me to love you. God loves us from embryo through infinity💝
He is so right about communication. It will benefit you to learn how to communicate before you get married because most don’t know how. And may not realize they don’t know how until their in an argument with their significant other and they’re walking away from the relationship.
Wow, this is a really beautiful show. This is a breath of fresh air from how I normally hear men speak about women and relationships. As a woman, I'm learning a lot about men from this conversation, and I'll be able to respond to situations better as well as help me to stop giving so much if not receiving 😌
When I was a little girl I wanted my mother to keep moving forward after my habitual drunk stepdad literally kicked her out of their home. Instead, she kept returning back to the abusive marriage. Simply, because he financially provided for all of us! Eventually, because he was twenty years older than my mom he lost strength and stopped physically beating her. I still wanted her to leave him and divorce him because the verbal and emotional abuse never stopped!! After twenty years of marriage he got sick with lung Cancer. My mom had that agape love and took care of him like he was an innocent baby until he took his last breath!!
Now, will I put up with such abuse short or long term? Absolutely NO!! I am simply not built like that. I am a natural lover and not a fighter. I am a natural protector and not a punching bag receiving nor giving. Periodtt.
She did that for HER FAMILY
And what did he do the abusive behavior for?
@@gigin3305 because he is an abuser … simple
@@TheShermanki1Not "why" did he do the abusive behavior, but "what for"?
If the wife stayed with the abuser for the family, even to the point of taking care of him and tolerating his abuse up until he died, WHAT did he do the abuse for?
Your mother deserved it. There were plenty of boys her own age who she rejected that she could have gotten with but she chose your father because your father didn't care about her and that meant in your mother's brain that he was more "alpha". Crocodile tears. I was raised by a single mother who always gets into abusive relationships. She CHOOSES those relationships because she wants to be dominated by a man even if it's abusive. She's no victim and she's no hero. I don't blame you for being naive and falling for her crocodile tears but I also don't respect you for it at the same time.
I don’t think I’ve ever clicked so fast in my life 😂
🗣️ OKAY !
😂😂😂 same
Me too!
Who else watched this twice! And I’m gonna watch it again! It’s that good
Thank you!!!
Definitely
This show is absolutely amazing! We need this for our men and women to grow together 🙏🏽❤️🔥
I learned so much from this podcast. I learned the roles that I play and I learned healthy boundaries. Thanks guys
💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💪🏽💪🏽
I could cry just listening to this… the light bulb comment, closing the gap, issues happening when we don’t communicate!!! The 5 stages of a MAN!!!! 💎🔥It’s been 18yrs of marriage and I’m still learning! This was so Organic… Thanks so much
Weekly dates, not weekly conversation about the relationship. That would be exhausting. If we checking in weekly then we got some issues going on. We suppose to be adults so the conversation should be had early in the relationship. Taking time getting to kno each other etc.
Finally some real Grown Man having adult conversations 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏿🙏🏿 Good episode fellas!! Keep Growing & Going👍🏾😎
Tysean and Ryan you all ask the best questions. It shows your preparation and attention to your guests and the conversation. I just want to affirm you in your journey of excellence in this work. God bless you.
I never minded if things my man does for me was organic or not... The fact that he does it because it matters to me, is what Always means so much to me!!!
In my opinion, I Feel that a woman who is OK with a man going out smashing other women just as long as he take care of the household clothes food is a woman that is living in her low register. She has been hurt by men too many times for her to believe anything else, so her coping is just to allow you to do. I also feel that as a woman who ultimately does not really like you because is she likes you and she wants to be with you, she’s not gonna be OK with Sharing. This is my opinion.
The fact that I clicked this video to get information on how to get a man to chase me. Smh I found out more about myself after watching the entire video 🤯 I call myself a vessel🏺of God, now Mr. Kendall is telling me to seek for a WELL made man.. but I’m still hurt❣️Literally 3 weeks I paused my search for a therapist, now I will do the work📌 Thank you fellas, this was amazing !! #BetterHelp drop them a check cause here I come ☺️
Oh my goodness… outstanding. Thank you for all you both do for marriages and relationships. You are on the frontlines battling for black marriage, family and relationships- I applaud you. These were thought provoking questions, intelligent and life shattering answers. Great job 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
💪🏾💪🏾🔥
Thank you for amazzzzzing conversations, guests and meaningful topics.🙏🏾❤️
My parents were married for 56 years before my father passed. I’ve never seen them argue, fight, or bicker. So when I got married I learned never to let my children see me, argue, fight, or bicker but what they didn’t get to see how to fix a relationship how to communicate through argument .
I would take an ET Thomas apprentice IN A HEARTBEAT 💗 cause I'm DOING things on that level DAILY 💯👏🏽👩🏽❤️💋👨🏾🤵🏾♂️👰🏽♀️🤴🏾👸🏾
Okay! I came across this video while I’m still going back and forth about whether I need to file the paperwork and Mr. K just confirmed what I need to do. I have already removed myself from the toxic/ neglectful situation it just needs to be finalized. Thank you for this video.
I have a question for the hosts. How do you guys feel about benefiting from the same system that y’all give us game on? I’m not asking this is a rude way. I honestly want to know. Does doing the podcast make y’all want to do things differently?
I, too, am very interested in the answer to that question.
Following
🤔
I just found this channel and I must say this is great conversation, great dialogue for both men and women. I absolutely love it guys. You have gained a subscriber‼️
Let’s goo🙏🏾🙏🏾
Excellent Conversation!!!! 32 years married.. I can relate to everything you talked about…you hit the nail on the head when you said married women who stay in unhealthy marriages are afraid to leave… for all of the reasons you mentioned.
Yup
That's wonderful being married that long.
32 years in for me too.. that line that he said you can be married 30- 40 years and it don't mean crap unless you're growing individually really hit me hard! I'm listening to it over and over. It is very hard when you've been in something this long to finally realize that you going to be the only one growing: (
@@blessed1969 agree 100%
I'm reminded of a quote I heard: "You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate" by RC Blakes when Mr. Ficklin said 'he will always do what you allow him to do' (around 37:50). So, in conclusion, women need to have some solid, well-stated boundaries. 😉👍
Hell Nahhh he want a ladder. Talm bout sum my focus is else where so ima need you to not only wash & dry my clothes but put them up and cook for me too!🧐???
Sir you want an in-house check & cleaning service smdh.
I Love this conversation and men being accountable for their actions and want to be a better man in his relationship. Men that are concerned about their wife or girlfriend feelings and the relationship they are building. This Podcast has helped me to really look at issues differently and handle situations differently and be honest about how I feel and things I'm not willing to accept in a relationship. Thanks Gentlemen for the knowledge I received today.💯😊
Been married since 2006 but no relationship!
NAH MOVE ON! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE WITH A LAZY PARTNER? IF HE IS NO LONGER CONSISTENT AND PUTTING IN THE WORK, CUT HIM OFF. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT AND TRYING TO DO THINGS TO MAKE A MAN CHASE YOU AGAIN IS TOO MUCH MENTAL TORTURE.
Kids do say the parents should separate. My daughter told me that about leaving her Dad. And it really shocked me!
I’m so happy y’all doing this, interviews like this need to go viral
My house is bugged! Why did you describe my situation EXACTLY from 26:00 to 27:30. Taking ALL this advise!! Thank you!
😂😂😂 same here
Wow this is soo powerful. What’s up Kendall it’s been a long time Bro. These are the same conversations my wife and myself go through. It’s not about the sex it’s more about intimacy and good quality time. We’ve been to counseling but this podcast is the best counseling I’ve experienced.
His wife is smart, he better put the clothes up.....He did not connect with her , not enough.....
This is going to change my life for the Better I love this podcast ❤
Love you too Mikiyah!!
You know what’s funny but it’s not funny we don’t even argue, that’s how much we don’t communicate don’t have conversation !!& this in the time we’ve been together!! I hate it!!
Is it that, the fifth stage is when a man adopts the likeness of God because God is love and the man becomes love.
I’m glad I stumbled across this podcast. Extremely informative and entertaining.
Always check on mom's no matter what TY shes your earth. My mom passed last year in October, she was my world, I'd give anything to hear her voice and see her face, so makes sure you make time for her. Cherish her presence every moment fam. 💯
Ask for what you need or you the problem
Omg, I love you guys! I am New to your podcast, and watched a few interviews already 🥰 I wish I ran into you guys a few months ago before I walked out of my relationship! But God knows best! Keep up the good work. Watching you guys giving me a lot of tips for my future husband 🥰
How I wish I knew this last year I lost a good girl because I wasn't a mature man but I am only 21 I guess I will do better in my next relationship 😢
Thank you for this platform- real, relevant and timely. I truly needed this, not sure how this came in my timeline but grateful for it. Learned a lot. Thanks for sowing into your audience.
This is SOOOO good! Identify the gaps and have daily syncs.
I love Coach K, I would pay just to talk to him. Also this show is my favorite show about love, the role of being a man/father. Y’all left RUclips during the hardest part of my life prior to 10/27 I was really becoming my old self then my brother got shot n he didn’t make it. I ended up buying the app n the yearly subscription but the pain from losing a brother then my sister had an heart attack 4 months after still fucks me up. I always been the glue to the family but I’m lost with no one to pick me back up.
Losing your brother and sister 💔 😢 must be so difficult for you - my sincere condolences 🙏🏽 to you and your family.
Fasting with prayer or meditation 🧘🏾♀️ for me back centered after some difficult situations. Dead sea salt bath 🛁 from salt that have been left out overnight 🌙 to be charged and to collect the morning 🌄 dew, with spring water 💧 or distilled water.
Speak your affirmations into the salts before bathing with them... cleanse your mind, body, and spirit of negative energy.
IF or AF fasting, for the strongest of negatives abstain from the strongest of foods. Raw, no meat or processed foods for 3 days. Find a juice bar 🍹 in your city and only drink the cleanest and freshest of blends.
Sending you love ❤️ and abundance ✨️
Me: Sends video clip to my dude
Kendall; don’t send a clip of the hardly intiated podcast to your dude cuz we have egos
Me: Damn 🙈
33:03
Thanks for heads up sis I was almost gonna do that lucky scrolled through these comments😂😂…I guess you’re gonna be looking for a podcast on “how to repair his broken ego”
😂💪🏾
😅😂
Me too!
😂
I loved watching. Imma have to watch this a few times bc it has so much good info and I need to absorb it in pieces.
Let's gooo
He held your hand because it was precious and he wanted to touch you so much that your hands was enough.
… and would like for that intention (the desire to interact with her in whatever way possible) to be expressed towards her in an organic way. the intimacy is not just about the act. It’s the intent behind the act. That’s what makes it organic and special and not a check list of actions to repeat.
This content hits different. Love that you guys understand the assignment. Stay blessed up!
When Tyshaun is ready… he will be a magnificent husband; a magnificent father ❤🙌🏽
Tysean*
I like that you mention getting better individually. Sometimes you got to step back and take a look at self and wonder if you're the problem instead of always assuming it's just the other person. Sometimes it can even be both. Try to be unbiased and react in a way from your own perspective and the others.
I’ve always said I’m so grateful my mom left my dad. It was so scary and toxic, literally affected my physical and mental health as a child. When my mom finally left, our lives were so much better. Please don’t stay for the kids, because the kids don’t want you, nor need you to stay.
Appreciate this. As a woman, it was incredibly validating and gave me some hope that some men are willing to meet us halfway, be curious, and grow.
I'm definitely going to listen to this again. Thank you 🔥
❤❤❤❤❤
I definitely witnessed my parents in an unhealthy relationship and told my parents separately that they needed to divorce each other.
wow!! That must have been incredibly tough to reconcile with at first. How did your parents take your advice initially?
I understand completely what you mean by loosing the connection of being organic over time but for me that’s hurtful because I feel like you don’t care anymore. Or is that something that u would need to work on within myself? Like could that possibly be a childhood trauma?
This is the only black owned podcast I’ve ever seen that holds both men and women accountable for their actions instead of pointing fingers at the opposite sex. Bravo I’m proud of these two kings🫶🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This addresses is the meat of relationship issues I can so relate.
COMMUNICATION AND LIKE-MINDED COMPREHENSION IS NECESSARY TO MOVE FORWARD POSITIVELY. 👑🧠❤🧠👑
This is soooo refreshing and what’s missing from many young men’s lives! They NEED to hear and see what a MAN is! I just wish it didn’t take most men to get it at 50+ years old. ❤️
TRUTH: PEOPLE WANT WHAT THEY SEE...NOT TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO GET IT; NOR TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORTS IT TAKES TOO KEEP IT.
💯🌎👁️👁️🌏👁️👁️🌍💯
Truth!
Protection on EVERY level is awesome on both sides of the fence! 😊
That's a word! I think too many people want to take and not give in these marriages, and that ends up nowhere. If folks think they're gonna get married and just sit on their ass without giving to their mates (women AND men) they're sadly mistaking. BOTH PARTIES have to give in a relationship...bring something to the table not just take, take take (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.!) These people are your spouses, NOT ya momma or ya daddy. 💯
Amen to that 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾men should be taking care of their wives and children
Not sure how I ended up here but Im so happy! I have a decision to make! TY
102.01 this man LITERALLY just said that he can MANIPULATE because he’s smooth with his WORDS and did this in a therapy session! 😩😮💨🥴 That’s all you need to know about his “relationship advice”. 🤷🏾♂️
Who wants to chase anyone let’s date or let that go we’re not babies or a teenager 🎉
THIS PODCAST HITS DIFFERENT.... intellectual conversations thank you!. THIS PODCAST HITS DIFFERENT.... intellectual conversations thank you!.
This is so good. I do not accept relationships easily. I divirced in 2012 and have only been with one man since. Even witu him, I gave him the "needs" speech and separated from him when i felt he was not listening. I feel that a man who really wants a woman will care about her needs and will not neglect to take the first step to see about her needs, that step being for him to have a conversation about it. If not, like it was said in the podcast, he is not a man ans does not care.
All these games. Man just stop it!!! Sick a unu. Love isn’t this complicated
IF YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE RELATIONSHIP AND YOU NEVER NOTICE YOUR SPOUSE OR PARTNER IS NOT INVESTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP...THE RELATIONSHIP IS FAILING AND AT THE VERGE OF DISMANTLING.
💯 👑 💔 👑 💯
If a mature woman doesn't know how to cook, she will be accountable for managing herself and take a cooking class. It is a hard pill to swollow to have a list of requests from your partner that he expects you to properly manage on your own without him and then you have to help him do what you need. It can make you feel like you have to always be on duty to truly love one person in a two person relationship. You don't mind helping but you need to see when he has it and actively taking initiative to deal with his challenges through multiple sources including me (theraphy, reading books). You don't feel emotionally safe, loved, respect, sexual attraction, or spiritually covered otherwise. Then it is what is the incentive for a woman to marry or stay married if covering your heart and needs as a working, contributing woman is so extremely hard for your man?
Obviously it’s not the correct way to convey these truths to my man to just send him this video. Wondering whether there is a workbook or literature you suggest for both men and women that could guide a couple to understand and incorporate the changes needed to help a male to become this agape love man? Any suggestions?
Thank you!! This is LITERALLY my life RIGHT NOW. I'm glad I came across this at the right moment.
👏🏾💪🏽👏🏾💪🏽👏🏾💪🏽
I feel the exact same way
Love this episode the realness and transparency was refreshing. I like a male perspective on things.
My man shared the short clip with me from IG and we decided to tune into the full video and it was EXACTLY what we needed & right on time ❤
💪🏾let’s gooo
Let’s Go!!! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Thank you!!!
'Most people want what it look like but they don't want what it feel like," whew... Thats a word!!!
This was a real conversation! I appreciated Coach K transparency. It definitely made me think about some questions I should be asking before I commit to a relationship. Thank you for breaking bread.
At times I think he’s giving women too much credit but overall i enjoyed the discussion
“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 NLT ❤
I wanted my parents to get a divorce when I was 6! 😂😂 they didn’t divorce until I was 23 and I was SO HAPPY!! I was happy af! So yes as kids we do ask why our parents don’t get divorced. Hell I was bold and asked mine! Why don’t y’all get divorced? Why are y’all still married?! 😂
The depth of this conversation spoke volumes madddddd 💎s and free game that’s needed. We need him on a panel in every city starting with Atlanta
Balck Women are the Original Queens... all life cones from us!!! We should be appreciated at all times!!! The angry black women needs LOVE too! We kind, gentle, loving black woman should not be taken for granted! LOVE CONQUERORS ALL❤
This. Was. Everything. Period. I needed this. 🙏🏽
If you guys are lying, please convince/tell us why we would should listen to the people you bring onto your podcast? That's concerning!
Might not be for you, but every man lies! Where have you been???
Watching here from Malawi Africa... thank you guys for the work you're putting in here. Putting a lot of inner healing out there! God bless you!
Africa tuned in! Let’s gooo
Love from South Africa 🇿🇦 ❤
This is very effective for married couples, you could have a long lasting relationship with these principles it's looking like love and communication. I would love this as a married person. This is mature love it comes over time if you've tried other things and now if you've stayed together, try this.