yaas girl, my brother literally posted on Instagram a picture he drove a Ferrari, i asked him if it was his Ferrari and he told me it was just a test drive bc someone wanted to repair it lol (he was a mechanic at this time).My brother buys 100$ moschino t -shirt while living in 500$ apartment. All the girls really think he has lots of money but i think its super lame, once you figure out the truth
My manager went out and about a luxury car and is always at soem type of club, lounge, or event every weekend and is always buying new clothes and unnecessary junk from Target and the Gucci store "for the Gram." When the pandemic hit they started to fret. I was ASTOUNDED that a person who lived the way they did on IG and IRL didnt even have a savings account. Meanwhile I, driving the same car my parents bought me in college, saved close to $100k over the last 10 years and took the shutdown as an adult summer break. I even took over all of my parents' bills and mine with ease. Dont let IG life have you out here looking good while losing.
Something I’ve noticed is that people more readily compliment and congratulate seemingly successful strangers, whereas with the people they’ve known in real life (those who are closer in proximity to them) - they tend to be more bitter and jealous. They see strangers and the famous as inspirations, whereas their peers are competition that they measure themselves against.
Very true. Because people close to us or our peers remind us of our stagnation as they blossomed and achieved success. It is the "Envy" thing. The only sin that does not make you feel good when you are experiencing it.
Also when it comes to looks/ perceived attractiveness. I’ve absolutely noticed this in emotionally immature borderline hateful people close to me in the past.
If we took most of these “luxury items”, removed the tags and put them in Marshals or Target, most people would walk right past them and show zero interest.
@@LisaCulton yeah I agree. I have bought some luxury items for myself and some ladies throughout my life but we know that most people are buying Gucci because of the GG all over the item.
@@enohp660 The double g "GG" canvas is a nice classic design, I have to admit. However, most Gucci clothing and accessories don't use that particular material/design. I read that they started producing it more specifically for the people who want to stunt. Everybody else who doesn't feel the need to show off so much buys the other stuff.
I deleted instagram in 2013, when it started getting really big. I was 19 at the time and I can't explain it, it's like I felt deep down that it was NOT a good idea to be consuming peoples lives this way and that it was only going to get worse. I'm so happy I did that, 27 now and I don't feel any pressure to be anything other than myself and focus and nourish what's happening in real time. Life is good in REAL life 💕
I had that same intuitive feeling in 2015. I wish I had listened to it. I deleted it in 2020. My life became richer!! I started it back up and after 7 months I have had enough and deleted it. I will not go back. I really enjoy giving my all to those in my life in real time.
I deleted my insta approx 7 months ago after deactivating and reactivating off and on for a couple months, and after a few years of being chronically online. You are so CORRECT. Life is better IRL
Learning to be ok with the fact that there'll always be people who are prettier, richer, smarter and have it together better than me helped me deal with my feelings of inadequacy.
Same. Once I embraced that, I hardly ever get jealous and if I do it’s low level jealously like wishing I was more put together, but it quickly passes. I truly embrace doing what’s best for you and your life and not worrying so much about what other people are doing because chances are the behind the scenes work they have to do to keep up appearances/maintain a certain life style isn’t all glitter and gold. That’s why I don’t envy the rich, or pretty. I’ve seen what goes on behind the scenes and am perfectly content with my boring out of the spot light life. Too much unnecessary drama for me.
exactly! like i don't need to be the best to feel great hahah and that's healthy to appreciate that ppl have different talents/goals etc and be happy for them. nothing to do with me and my own stuff going on. i feel like we don't need to keep up with the jones' as much when we're happy for the jones' and realize they live difft lives that ain't got sht to do w me :)
Right when I see pretty girls on insta and people say just block them, etc. I’m like y’all know pretty girls can exist irl and you can’t just block them. Sometimes you just gotta accept people are pretty lmao.
Honestly, social media puts a lot of pressure on people. I'm 24 and finishing university, yet sometimes I feel like I accomplished nothing because a lot of people on Instagram are my age and it seems like everybody is rich. EDIT: To everyone who shared their experience, thank you. You all got this! Good luck with everything you decide to do in life and thank you for your kind words!❤
Focus on what you said in your last sentence: “It _SEEMS_ like everybody is rich.” I guarantee you they’re not all rich. They’re just making it _seem_ like it. I knew a couple of guys back in college who would sometimes rent an amazing sports car for a day and then take a bunch of pictures in it, only to upload those over weeks & months to make it look like they owned that car. Same with clothes: some people buy cheap knock-offs (esp when it comes to purses, sunglasses, etc) to make it LOOK like they’re balling but really they’re making $45k a year in their first job out of college and buying things second-hand on Poshmark. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, if they owned up to it. Remember: perceptions are manufactured. Looks are deceiving. 🙃 Your real self is essentially competing with other people’s “fake selves” on social media.
That’s why I deleted all my social media. People are weird and fake. It’s like if you don’t post it or take a picture of everything you do, it didn’t happen. Like you’re not allowed to live your life in real time. People be so upset they can’t watch you and really that’s the only access they have to you. They think they know you when they only know OF you.
I recently found out that many youtubers that vlog luxury hauls, many of them return the items back to the stores. Some of them were caught when asked in the comments to do a review update, Many of their response were always, "I sold it." Total BS.
@@IsabelM7 Just ask anyone you're subscribed to and have them do an update on a bag or luxury item they vlogged of. You'll find they won't be able to deliver that item in a vlog.They will tell you it's either been sold, given away, or had been returned due to quality. These RUclipsrs are finding ways to create more content in exchange for views/subscribers > $$$
Most of the products they don't even buy. Makeup, for example. They're sent to them for free in exchange for a review. Either is fine, I have nothing against it. Hell, free products in exchange for a review? Sign me up, lol. But, honesty makes it more trustworthy.
There are those who were upfront and honest about it tho and I admire that (well, the honesty.) they admit it’s solely for entertainment only and doesn’t claim yhings
As someone that lives in Southern California, most people are faking it. I've been across various expensive restaurants and venues. Most people here are not living like that. Those with higher incomes (i.e. engineers, doctors) dress and live very normal lives. They tend to be frugal due to the high cost of living.
@Drea Talks Never said they were rich. However, certain specialties that make over 200k aren't living frivolously like people on Instagram. Many of them are frugal.
This is why I deleted my accounts because it was starting to affect the way I saw myself and how I'm progressing in life and I'm only 19 it literally didn't make sense because I just finished highschool why do feel the need to have it all together.
Yes I was thinking the same thing!?! I was like why is everyone unboxing Chanel and Hermes bags etc...?? I buy luxury too for like anniversary or Birthday or push gifts, but I’m discouraged of buying designer bags and shoes now because everyone has it doesn’t feel luxurious anymore and it doesn’t seem special. Not like there’s nothing wrong with others buying Luxury but dang I see bag unboxing’s and luxury car buying like they buying a bag of chips. My husband said that’s why people use credit cards...
SAME! I feel weird posting about my life. It makes me uncomfortable. I can't seem to shake the feeling that every time I post something it just seems like a humble brag of some sort even when I'm not trying to.
I don't mind talking about myself, I don't like social media, only youtube if I have a message to send out. I just get over stimulated if people start talking to me and about me....I think it has to do with being "anti social"
Same here. Lol. Specially when I have big plans, I hate having people knowing what my plans are and would never post them on social media to share with a lot of people I have met at some point in my life (because let’s be honest here, not all your Facebook friends are your actual friends).
After being off of social media for a year now, I have absolutely no desire to go back. Social media made me depressed that I wasn't already "somewhere" in life. I constantly compared myself to other young adults' lives, wishing I was them so badly. Now, I have grown wayyyy more confident and comfortable in my life, my skin, and ultimately, my true self. I am 20 and I have finally realized that life has BARELY started for me. Also, I LOVE what you said about what would your profession be if you did not have to tell anyone. For me, I would have chosen to major in education and become a high school teacher.
As a young one told me recently....'Not everyone is rich or living the life, it's the people that YOU follow' We have immense responsibility when it comes to social media. One of them is who we choose to follow.
Exactly! This should be top comment! Stop following shallow people! There are food channels, plant channels, decor, books, and yet the majority of y’all choose to follow the fakes.
THIS IS IT! my relationship with social media is so much better now because I’m intentional about the content that I consume. As soon as a I see something that makes me feel a certain way, i mute, i unfollow, i remove, I waste no time at all😭 now my feed generally is very positive and my time on social media is also enjoyable. Also I am very secure and happy in myself so I know not to let an image on social media make me feel a certain way.
Agreed. We are beyond the point of social network “bringing people together”. Which it was apparently designed to do. This culture is only going to get worse.
Social media isn’t all bad but it’s the collective low self esteem in individuals that makes us use the tool in the worst ways. It’s still human nature but that of the lowest form, emanating from an imbalance of the chakras from within
I am a teacher and I show these videos to my classes. They are so helpful for exploring the kind of social issues that matter to teen girls and are in depth enough to be really fascinating but still accessible. Just wanted to mention because I thought you might not be aware that the impact of this work goes beyond just the people who are subscribed on youtube. Amazing work
@@AdellaAfadi No worries! No pressure but please keep doing what you are doing! These videos are everything I want young people to think about and engage with but (trust me) they take much more interest in it coming from you than me!
That is awesome. My Professor had us do a media fast. Even from texting. Just text for important stuff. We even fasted from music. She wanted for us to experience silence. Since most of the time we can't even go a minute without technology. I mean of course we used the computer to write papers. But outside of that we couldn't just do mindless scrolling. It made me see how much more time I had and how I am addicted to my phone. I highly suggest you do this with your class. We did it for like 3 days.
Somebody needs to show these kids the truth.a lot of think there going to become famous just for being famous.many are not aspiring to become doctors or lawyers anymore
You’d be surprised on how much debt people be carrying only to show off good cars, expensive clothes, big weddings, etc. I’ve seen this with my own eyes.
I’m 25 and feel behind in life at times. We need to change our metrics on how we measure ourselves. I’m still learning this and that I should not compare myself to my friends because we all have different factors that set our lives up, and yeah we grew up together but I had different life experiences I had to face than they did and that can change your path too! The most important thing is to know who you are and do the things that keep you happy 😊
I don’t understand what’s wrong with how people want to carry themselves... if someone wants to wear makeup and lashes that’s cool and if they don’t that’s cool too, there’s plenty of both
@@Alecexo That's true but I mean the very very heavy makeup and lashes. It's just nice to find someone who can represent a different style for UK black girls.
I have no social media. I live by my own standards and make my own standards and don’t care what everybody else doing because they are foolishly invisible to me. There problem solved!
Literally me💀 I love that phrase. “Foolishly invisible”. I find the social psychology of how social media is ruining the fabric of society and it’s collective mental and emotional health fascinating as hell.....aside from that I’m chillin💅🏿
@@jonferngut do it look like I have an up and running page on here, a lot of subscribers, getting monetary gains etc. or am I just here to learn/entertain myself without engaging in that side of RUclips? It ain’t what you do it’s how you do it! Oh okay‼️ 🤦🏾♀️✌🏾
Same. Luxury to me is just that it’s a luxury. Meaning it’s something that is not a necessity, but maybe I get to experience it every once in a while provided i can afford it. In general though, so long as I can live within my means and in a relatively comfortable manner I’m content.
I graduated a week ago & at graduation, there were ppl who had Balenciaga’s, Valentino, and all other types of designer shoes. And I bet my last dollar they received student loans. Ppl really aren’t rich, they just give off the illusion that they are.
@@SynterraSteen I wish I was, I was with him when he bought them! You can tell when the refund checks hit the accounts everybody came back looking like stars on campus 😂 I wasn’t about that life 😂😂😂😂
Yes, this has made me feel so free. I felt like with social media « anything that I didn’t share on social media didn’t really happen ». Also, I kept comparing myself to complete strangers. I’m off social media & I won’t go back anytime soon.
Needed this reality check today. I am only 30 but get so down seeing everyone else bragging about their family lives and successes, homes, fancy clothing... it's important to remember that it isnt always what it seems, and even if it is it shouldn't matter.
Same, girl!😪 i’m à lil older than you have a decent income to live but when i see all these stuff on social média that call me ” girl you ’re so broke”😂
Same here xx I am so confused and I keep thinking am I doing something wrong haha xx but I know me and my son are happy and have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our bellies lol x
@MissMaeww I would like to add that even people who are successful don't tell you exactly what they did to become successful. For example alot of self made millionaires and billionaires had alot of connections the average person doesn't have access too. The details are ALWAYS left out.
Such a needed video. I'm mexican and a minimalist. I've working hard in my business and my finances by a while now. I save 60% of my income and I bought a used car in cash and I live in a regular department. Yet, some of my friends that they have told me that they make way less that I made are driving brand new cars with 5 years credits, living in the top area of the city with 4 roomies and going to Cancun every 6 months. Even though you might have a strong mindset, that kind of things fuck with your mind a little bit. And you just kinda feel you're being left behind.
NO brother. You not behind. I save 50% of income and I gotta tell you it feels GREAT,not to have to live on edge. Just before pandemic I was thinking of upgrading to a fancier neighborhood, gym etc. That got shut down by fate of course,and I'm glad now. Being, living and acting low key is happiness. When pandemic raged, I was fine because I had everything I NEEDED. No need for any outside help. I saw many folks,around me go under because they had no savings or resources because they believed social media lies. Give me a good book and a cup of tea or coffee I'm happy.
True. Cut out the unnecessary b.s. and ya ya and blah blah blah with people. And running hither, thither and yonder to all these concerts, clubs and games. You'll save a ton of money. And you'll be far more praceful.
I deleted my socials!!! If you don't have a business that requires you to have social media, then I suggest getting off of it! Your mental health with thank you. It's been a year since I've deleted all my socials and I feel so free!!!!!!! I truly don't care about what others are doing.
They are broke asf! I grew up in family were having brand name clothes is a must. Let’s say me and my brothers broke that cycle, shit is ridiculous and expensive asf. I just go thrift shopping now, because you find amazing pieces without breaking your pockets.
There’s a book worth reading, The Millionaire Next Door, which addresses the discreet wealthy and their habits. Not everyone needs to broadcast their wealth. Wise people NEVER advertise their wealth.
i think the best way to combat this or any invasive comparison thoughts, is to frequently remind yourself (maybe even write down) what *HAPPINESS* and *SUCCESS* looks like *TO YOU* ✨
Most are faking it if my man buys me a luxury bag and goods I will thank him and put it away rather than display it all over insta and snap not everybody needs to see you do good.
That's a word right there. The evil eyes is real. You never really know what your "followers" truly think about you, especially when you have "friends" on social media that you haven't spoken to in months or years. There's a reason as to why that relationship fell through, therefore why are you letting them see the highlights of your life🗣💯
@@quelquun2018 yes this is what I think ab. Like why do you want to let ppl who aren't your friends know what's going on in your life? I feel like someone knowing your business is a luxury. Even my parents do this. They think every milestone or outing is to be posted on Facebook. So annoying. Every second it's take a picture, Facebook live. Just to let ppl know what their kids are doing. Like if you want to document post yourself & your raggedy life leave me out of it.
To be fair, I think a lot of people think I’m rich because I travel a lot but I also always had roommates, never had a car, brought lunch to work everyday, never buy coffee, etc. Sometimes it can be different priorities. Edit I don’t follow anyone sporting expensive bags and clothing and I lived in NYC. I think a lot depends who you follow. I love personal finance, food, craft beer, and home decor right now and that’s what I usually see on my social media.
I agree. I was just thinking this. I spend $ of quality things over quantity. Some people may judge me off of it, but I’m not spending money on daily lattes or lunches and dinners out. Some of my coworkers eat out every single day. $10 (min per day) is $3,650 a year! Holy hell that’s a lot. And that’s just 1 meal a day. It can easily surpass that. I also must agree on carefully selecting who you follow on IG, I had to delete MANY accounts that were really not adding any value to my life.
I like how you put it. I’m just coming back on social media after an almost 2 year hiatus. I deleted everything and am currently unfollowing a massive amount of pages that don’t fit me. If I do actually log in, I want to see what inspires me and makes me feel good.
people think that when I tell them I bought my own house at 27. I bought a house in a rural area 30 miles from the nearest city that was so badly deteriorating it needed to be gutted down to the studs. I bought it for 33k total. And I saved for years driving a 20 year old hand me down car, living with my parents, hardly ever going out, taking cheap vacations in state in my tent, wearing my clothes well past the point I should have and going to thrift/Walmart when completely forced to replace anything. I gave up ALOT. Yes I was privileged. Yes I was lucky. But me and my parents weren't wealthy. I did because it was a priority I was willing to sacrifice for and life's circumstances enabled me to do it.
I'm a landlord that have people that pull their family money together to pay my mortgages and cash flow on top of it. If you have children it is ridiculous to rent if you can own. You pass real estate through generations and that is how you truly build wealth.
@@Ethiodawg lol no one is denying (or arguing) the pros of home ownership. this is just highlighting the cons and the fact that renting has been demonized when it actually has advantages
About practicing being happy for people: I have been getting progressively more bitter towards people who choose luxury, and I am also working to curtail this because it is a bad mentality, but I have done some introspecting and find that it doesn't come from jealousy, but instead from wishing they had used their resources for something more benevolent.A kind of disappointment that our society at large chooses to invest more in an endless refinement of material staples than helping our fellow people. But maybe that is kind of jealousy at its core, not sure. Definitely still irks me but I am working through it :) I am definitely realizing that approaching things with kindness and removing assumptions helps arrive at a better understanding, and we must always treat each other with respect.
I remember the days when insta was just a fun place to post photos now it’s like a competition one person posts something you don’t look at it and think “aawww” and just like now it’s “that bag looks nice, I dunno about the shoes....her makeup bangs tho...I think she deserves a like”
I understand this completely hence why I stopped posting my fun experiences or times. I hate how curated social media is that ordinary days cannot be shared only the perfected ones or instagramable pictures. I miss unedited pictures and people it’s so fake now.
Yess lmao. It's a way for ppl to size you up. They meet you, then look at your page & size you up. Alot of ppl don't even post anymore or have posts up & I feel like that's why. It's not really fun unless you can keep up your image. & as a moon in the 10th house I'd rather not. I'm too sensitive to public opinion. Laying low is best.
I realized something in the last few minutes of your video when you talked about jealousy: oftentimes when people flaunt their (real or fake) wealth, my initial internal response isn’t so much coming from a jealous place, but much more of an instantaneous judgment of “ugh, if I had the same amount of money I wouldn’t do / buy THAT with it.” Which isn’t any better than jealousy 🤣 I just realized it’s quite condescending for me to think, “I don’t necessarily feel envious of their money, I just think they’re spending it the wrong way.” Goes back to what you were saying, too, about judging what’s the “right” way to use your money. Thanks for pointing this out. Gives me a lot of food for thought and to better myself. ✨
I used to think this way too until I started spending money on the things that make ME happy ...and I realized I didn't like the feeling of being judged myself so I had to stop judging others. I like what I like and I will catch an attitude with anyone counting my dollars 😂
Sometimes it's really hard not to judge people. For example one of the girl I know from college, start buying luxury items while we were in college using her student loans 😂. It has been almost 8 years since we graduated. She still buys luxury hand bags and shoes and post it on her IG. The funny part is, she still lives with her parents while she is walking around with Chanel bag 😂.
I feel that the pandemic has heightened the fragility of our socio-economic outlooks, impairing us from accepting the reality outside of social media. So many flocked to social media as an outlet this past year, and anxiety/depression skyrocketed because we feel less than those who live in supposed abundance while flaunting it on Instagram. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE indulging in luxury items from time to time, and taking international trips annually, but that takes time to obtain. What many don’t realize about influencers is that many of them will do whatever it takes to obtain the means to APPEAR affluent, because their “job” is their appearance rather than their morality and reality. They get things lent or sent to them so that they can advertise for the product, even sent to certain locations to draw the appeal. I believe that with borders reopening and vaccinations increasing, we will be seeing more influencers in exotic locations in order to draw appeal to the area to reignite the travel sector(s).
I'm so glad you mentioned this as it reminds me of a travel influencer I saw on ig yesterday, for example. She did have a huge following, which already affords her a lot of privilege (500k+) but I noticed that several of her posts in a row were all ads for stuff like phone plans, bed and breakfasts, a streaming service, and a few other brands, and it makes me wonder how anyone in that position could truly enjoy traveling and being free since her and other influencers like her are expected to post a bunch of sponsored content every other post to be able to fund those trips and get the post engagement they need to keep the sponsorships, etc. I don't say this to sound like a hater by any means since I will also have the chance to travel soon, all expenses paid for by myself, but it just seems like so many have propped up the entrepreneur/influencer lifestyle but more strings are attached that really don't have to be there. They're there to uphold the illusion of wealth,class mobility, desirability, beauty, and the status quo in general. Idk.
I’ve noticed that with influencers exposing all the nooks and crannies of the hidden world that there is a term, “tourism pollution” that people are traveling WAY more than they used to and are infecting places that are not accustomed to high volumes of people, even in their peak seasons. So when people say, “Oh my gosh, I LOVE to travel!!” Do you like to travel or do you like to travel because Instagram told you to? If your favorite influencer only promoted the hottest spots in your city would you even get on a plane?
This. Thank you for talking about it. I’m 24 and am relatively frugal. I don’t go out much and I don’t spend tons on make up. I thrift my clothes. I bought a cute lil condo a few months ago and it’s furnished with second hand furniture and I use dishes that were gifted or thrifted. I’ll be feeling proud of myself one moment and then I get on social media and immediately start to feel like I haven’t accomplished anything because my home isn’t furnished with Z Gallerie and my clothes aren’t designer. I have to remind myself constantly that a lot of it is fake in order to make myself feel better.
I think it's also important to recognise the emotion of jealousy. It's a normal emotion and hiding behind 'pocket watching' other people or faux concern is so phony. Humans get jealous, it's just what we decide to do with that emotion that shows our true character as people. Whenever I get jealous or envious of these things I also follow up with a nice comment, affirmation and manifestation. 'I love that for them, long may this continue or my own is coming'. Islam snapped when they created 'Mashallah', it allows you to give praise to the person while also protecting you from unwittingly casting evil eye. Love that!
Yesss i love this. It's good to admit our jealousy or envy to ourselves. When I'm envious it lets me know what I want. Then I can take steps to get it. I'd never befriend someone who I feel envy towards though.
Yesssss. Everytime I see anyone post a beautiful piece of art I get jealous but for me it's a nice thing since it actually fuels me to practice more and actually try to be better at my art. Jealousy can be a good thing if you know how to use it for the better.
That is exactly what Nietschze said. He wrote a lot about jealousy and how you should be honest about being jealous, instead of trying to pretend like you are better (example: the way he interpreted christianity and jealousy lmao)
Because of the pressure of society, I feel like a failure at 25. I don’t have a nice big house, I don’t make six figures yet, I don’t travel every single year, and I’m not married yet. I feel like since I didn’t achieve that yet I failed at life and it’s over for me. Also I have an online business and I thought I was doing something wrong because I seen other businesses blow up in 6 months while I don’t make a lot and I’m a year in business.
I don't understand how you came to this conclusion all based of things you see that have nothing to do with your life. You need to learn to have greater self belief in your ability to achieve what you want for yourself.
I get how you feel. I’m 35 and catch myself feeling this way sometimes. But I always remind myself that those aren’t even really like things that matter, and the timing that ends up happening on its own is usually perfect.
Its insane that i have to believe i need to be making 100k in my mid 20s. So now instead of enjoying the fact that I worked hard in school to make 70k (which is pretty nice if youre young and single) Im mad bc i cant outflex a person with 200 followers on Twitter but got an AMG 🤦🏾♂️ Social media is ultimately an outgrowth of IRL culture so idk if i put a lot of the blame on the apps. Like Adella said, the real issue that the localized flex culture has now been expanded to an INTERNATIONAL stage. A city by city competition has blown up to the whole world. It’s important to me to remember that Wealth exists as different manifestations. How much you make gotta be the weakest one. What about how involved you are in your community, how many people know and trust you? I think we flex material things because we want people to talk about us but IMAGINE if you could get the same clout because everyone knows how helpful you are and how u lift up your circle (big or small) The best clout isnt tied to money, its tied to people’s positive emotions towards you. That’s the real flex.
Thank you for talking about this! I’m so confused so often, I have a pretty decent job and yet I still feel so “behind” all the time. I cannot afford to go on tons of trips and buy designer bags or whatever else everyone seems to be doing.
When you have everything, you appreciate nothing, don't let them take your ability to appreciate things, don't let the rich fool you, they are absolutely miserable.
I think people who actually live that lifestyle dont really flaunt it. This is what i KNOW for a fact, from being in circles with actual OLD money. People who stunt on social media are kids or new money. People who aren't really used to it
I agree, Bragging and showing off weak, especially on social media. I have 200+ sneakers...no 1 knows that. I don't post pics and show it. If u see me and ask i might answer. Same for my relationship...might as well add that since people nosey as hell.
Yes, it’s a defense mechanism that rich people developed. If you don’t flaunt your wealth, you’re less likely to be the cause of revolutions. It’s really manipulative and disingenuous really.
It might be true I don't know, but I hate how people are always trying to put the new rich down . Shouldn't we be congratulating them for getting rich without their parents money. For me that's just amazing, they have my respect.
I did get to a point where I thought I was doing something wrong seeing young adults like myself living alone affording luxury goods but it got tiring comparing myself all the time so I'm just focused on my own personal goals
This was on time. Today I shut the world out and stayed in bed as I came to the realization about this specific topic here and how it pertains to my life, my self esteem, etc. I’m going on a social media hiatus now because my mental health is dwindling. Thank you for covering this topic.
Love this video!! One thing I've learned: what we see is actually the opposite of people's financial wealth. We see what they've spent, not what they have. The people I know who are *actually* financially independent/have a high net worth, live pretty modestly, they drive old, used cars, & dress in thrifted/discounted clothes, they just prioritize things differently than most. Then the people I know that buy a lot of flashy clothes or cars, do expensive house updates, ..they're really broke & won't be able to retire, but that's just my personal experience & is not universally true. I'm only 22 and I would say have accomplished a ton in my life thus far & I am so grateful, but still feel inadequate/not wealthy enough sometimes, I think mainly because of social media. This is a fascinating topic to me.
I'm in my late 50's, so didn't go through the social media challenges when I was younger and things like impressions for the most part did not really exist (outside of people at work/social situations). This is one of the few times I'm glad I'm older! Thank you for posting this video, you're lovely and the message you have is so, so important!
I love how you broke this down! you have a gift of presenting complex information in an easy to understand manner. I was thinking that the Nouveau riche had to show their wealth as they did not have the titles and social status that would grant them privileges in day to day life, whereas the new rich nowadays spend excessively to brag as you explained. anyways, keep on with this great content I truly enjoyed this one :)
Social media definitely has me feeling unworthy and bad because I'm the only one my age that I see who is unmarried/single/child-less/family-less/living in an apt rather than my own home. It's like how messed up must I be if I am 32, can't afford a home, and not one man truly wants to be with me like all of my peers. I felt like I had to keep up with showing off fun activities, cooking, travel, looking good so that men would find me diserable and fun, so I could gain followers and popularity, and I had to show how absorbed I am in my hobbies to show that I am fullfilled being alone. I had to delete it and I feel more fullfilled when I do things that no one can see. I don't like sharing as much anymore and that's difficult, especially as an artist. Part of my career is creating visuals and showing off. So I find that I am creating less art and I am focusing on my other career. So how do I move in silence with my art? I've decided to only show finished work and only posting one photo of it, not showing progress videos and staying off my art page all other times.
A couple years ago I started a little blog to host some of my little ideas. I played with the thought that if I came across a vid and I had a blog post that was relevant, I would simply link in the comments - and so lead ppl to my site. But I felt that this would change the dynamics of my motivation for writing. Meaning that I risked becoming driven by writing what I thought might be popular for other people instead of letting the ideas flow on it's own .... that I wanted the writing to be free to do it's own thing and not be bound by expectations of any kind. So I decided that even though I want ppl to like and appreciate my work, that I must act on the condition that my blog is primarily for myself, and it was just a bonus if I got any regular visitors. Ultimately, the work must stand or fall on it's own merit and not on any snazy marketing techniques - at least, I leave the marketing to any visitors that think my work is good enough to share with others. The first year I got zilch visitors. Then I got a few (exciting & stressful. lol), and now I have a fairly steady stream every day. I only have a bare handful of followers, but I'm pleased about the wide array of countries that hit my pages. Sometimes, a country will spike in the visitor stats and I think - hmm, someone posted a link on their facebook or whatsapp group. One day, I discovered that one of my followers is my unofficial marketing agent since I saw them link to one of my blog posts in one of their comments once. (thanks Phil) LOL. On another day, I can see that one visitor hit a pile of pages and I am pleased that they were clearly interested enough to not simply read just one blog entry and go away never to be seen again but to peruse more of the work. So I just thought that I would write to let you know that to "move in silence with my art" is feasible. I've done it, and am doing it. Of course, you can't feel sad if you get no visitors your first year.😅 But I always reminded myself, that I wouldn't actually want anyone to 'discover' me, until I had a fair amount of work for them to see anyway. Edit: Incidentally, I have some blog entries that I think are really good, but have zilch views on them. Oh well.
@@markusgorelli5278 thank you! It's good to hear this works for other people. I agree with your thought process wholeheartedly. I kinda have that approach with my art now in that I don't market it or ask people to follow me. I would rather people find me on their own and genuinely like my art. I haven't posted much in 3 years and plan to start this summer but my work has gathered almost 300 followers just by doing nothing. So once I'm actively posting I know it will spike naturally. I don't plan to explain what I did or show my process, which a lot of artists have to do these days to get thousands of followers. I learned that it's better to have people truly engage and love your work than to feel pressured or mystified by the magic to follow, from constant posts and showing off, just to not have any engagement when it matters most!
I’m the same as you and single mom at 33 after 12 year relationship, but last nearly 2 years I focused so hard on myself for once I got Some more things done ☑️ and I love what I have created rather than following on social media over over feeling like I didn’t have my shit together. Nearly 2 years in , Iv savings , I’m happier , I’m upskilling online I sign language to get qualified and working hard when I do work 👊🏻🙂
That part about learning to be happy for people really hit home for me. I do sometimes experience bitterness and jealousy when I see people doing well, so I need to work on that. Great video overall though. Just subscribed and excited to see what's to come!
The perception of living a luxurious life or career makes us think we are of importance and accepted. We think these things can somehow bring a better relationship with our peers, bring a higher status of mate, and just over all better life wellbeing. It’s a facade. These things are only shiny for a little while before something else is needed to be obtained. Studies show this never ends and why social media depression is very real.
Those benefits are pretty real though. Going from making nothing to making something things change majorly. As far as happiness it depends on the person. If you know ab instinct stackings people who are sp blind are more likely to have money & still be depressed bc it doesn't really make them happy. They care more ab social relationships
13:29 is so important!!! Some people on social media are not actually fake, that is the life they are genuinely living and it comes down to an issue of comparison. A lot of people find this faux comfort in the fact that social media does tend to be fake. I think we should learn to be secure in ourselves ultimately. Fake, real or just highlight reel, it really does not matter to me. I just like the picture and just keep scrolling. I’m focused on me and bettering myself!
17:30 is another great point too! Because I’m secure in myself, when I see other people post I just think ‘good for them, congrats to them!’ Fake or not, real or not, that really is nothing to do with me. This person has posted a nice picture so I like the pic and keep going with MY life. ‘Train your brain to not be a hater’ is such an excellent point.
The pictures and videos are entertaining... I started enjoying the show since the day I critically listened to the part where my favourite artiste said, all their contemporary are taking stuff up and misleading younger generation. Knowing I'm part of the younger generation that look up to this people, I started rethinking my focal.
I'm 22 years old and finishing university. Deep inside I know whatever I am doing right now I am doing good I have a long-term plan for myself but every time when I open my social media I felt I am lost, not doing anything, and start doubting my own plan. Initially, social media was created to make people close but I think more the access you have to get in touch with people more we are getting far from each other.
People are getting out of touch with reality because of societal media. I believe social media is good for things like managing buisness, creating awareness and sharing news and even connecting with friends but people took it too literal which is unhealthy & addicting
I grew up quite poor but am well off now. I feel like I will never forget that actual value of money, therefore I’m quite frugal. I get stressed out a bit when I spend money on luxury. I have gotten better at it, but still I feel quilt, Social media contributes to this, since it makes me feel I should live another lifestyle that I’m just not comfortable with.
Would be so lovely to hear your opinion on this topic Mariam especially since you are in the public eye and probably know a lot more than we do about the social media influencer/ reality star lifestyle. You definitely could help a lot of us, love you lots princess x
Privately schooled in London, came here from east Africa. One thing that shocked me was seeing that the literal multi-millionaires kids had private IG accounts with only their closest friends + family. The popular rich kid on IG was more of an exception then a norm. In short, yes we’re broke sis. But so are those so keen to show their life online lol. There are people who are living those lives but trust me their not trying to show us lmaoooo
A message!!! I go to a university with a lot of rich abroad students. This Asian girl in my class was worth millions but I never knew cause she was sweet and regular-dressing. Later, a classmate told me that her dad owned the biggest door manufacturer in China.....I was like wow!!! Real money is super SILENT.
@Lauren Y. Makes sense because anytime I heard the phrase "high value" it throws me off. If you dont mind me asking did you grow up wealthy? Sorry if this is intrusive
It’s like you read my mind. I’m like how does everyone own £3k designer bags? I’m just here like, am I just broke because? 🤣 And I actually earn good money 🥲 haha
"The Century of the Self", by Adam Curtis. You would benefit watching this excellent documentary, about 20 years old, on mass programing and making people do what you want, a tactics the business world uses to throw you into mental crisis. That four hour series documentary will spare you a lot of grief and depression if you learn from it. Highly recommended for young people, who would get a lifetime benefit from it. I have watched it 5 times in twenty years.
This was a really important video for me to watch. I’ve found myself falling down a rabbit hole lately where I’m constantly onto the next one. I literally just got a $7k bag recently and was scrolling and online shopping for a new designer bag just days later. It’s exhausting and the fix I’m getting from the purchases is getting shorter and less exciting. And social media makes it look like these 20 somethings are running around wearing designer everything head to toe. I’m in my mid 30s and definitely not anywhere close to buying designer ready to wear on the regular by any means yet I think If I were to compare myself to the general public I would be off quite well and yet social media makes me feel inadequate and yet I cannot get myself to cut that cord. Sorry for the rant. This triggered something inside me I guess
Same here...have a dressing and a seperate shoe room...living in the mountains with a dope ass view...travel almost every month...i'm 26. I don't have social media, no instagram or something. There was a handful of people who saw my home and see my pics. I would never share my life to anyone i dont care. I wear my bags for myself...i dont need acceptance or confirmation. I also do grocery and buy with coupons, i travel with a train because i have no driving licence...because i dont need a car. But i also can flex if i want to...but stay natural. Just natural...no one care if your watch is a rolex or a timex because everyone have their own problems.
The algorithm is working in your favor girl! 🙌🏾 This video was recommended to me and I’m so happy it was. I love these type of videos/discussions. Hitting that subscribe button now
Student loans are a big equalizer. I know friends who make the hundred K but pay 1700$ per month toward their student loans and rarely have a social life, Vs. friends who make 48K and have a lot of disposable income because they owe zero in student loans.
I’m so glad RUclips recommended this video to me! I love this. I’ve been thinking about someone at work who is on the same salary as me, but she eats out about 5 times a week and goes away every weekend. I have no idea how she’s affording it!
YES!! I needed this. I was so depressed because I was like damn, Im losing and everyone is on top until I realized it was all fake or they were just deeply in debt. I heard that people also buy name-brand and lux bags and do "fake" shopping sprees... I was mind blown. I literally thought all of this was legit and it made me feel terrible about myself. It's just trying to one-up every person they can! I hate it!!! Until they make it known it's FAKE, It will just make me feel like the insecure one. It sucks because more people are in competition so people like us who live normal lives and stay humble feel way less than as if were not the normal ones but because this power is so intense it makes it hard to realize WE ARE THE NORMAL ONES and they are the sick ones lol
Yes do a video on comparison. "Comparison is like chasing after the wind" Solomon I've found myself jealous of something I didn't even want for myself? I still fully haven't worked through why that it. I think it's because society programs us to think we should want certain things, relationships, goals, status. We have to really consider what it is we ourselves actually want.
"I found myself jealous of something I didn't even want for myself" - THIS!!💯. My friend and I had a conversation a while back and we put it down to the underlying "sense of achievement" that those things represent
Honestly I think people will just be happier if learn that not everything in life is a competition. Once you learn how to love yourself and be happy for other people you don’t compare yourself. If you see someone with a birkin, great! That’s awesome for them. Why compare? And truly it’s all about minding your own business. When your brain starts saying are they “bad with money” and etc, unless they are someone you care about showing obvious signs they are struggling, mind your own business. That is your brains way of coping with negative feelings like envy and sadness. Be grateful for you have and be kind to yourself. I’m sorry for anyone struggling with this.
My therapist says that comparing is despairing, and Adella is normalizing jealousy and trying to readjust negative thoughts into positivity, this is key, I love this video!!!
I can always relate to your videos lol I definitely caught myself wanting things i never wanted before because of social media and constantly reminding myself these luxury bag women on youtube are not my age mates lool
The algorithm recommended this video to me and I'm glad it did! The way you speak and present information is really engaging. I've been off FB and IG for months and I don't miss them at all. I'm now able to focus on myself and what I truly want in life, not on what I think I should want or have. I've definitely spent less money on things I don't really need since I've been off it
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my RUclips channel 11 months ago about self development. Now I have 2,081 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
I've lived paycheck to paycheck my whole life so I was expecting a very different video, never had the luxury to try and fake riches lol very insightful video, thank you!
I believe money talks and wealth whispers if you have to flaunt your wealth then your not wealthy. Wealthy people naturally do not have to impress people with there money because they know they have it. The get rich quick folks are the ones are the type to unbox bags, carelessly spend money and gravitate towards designer because it’s the first time they are experiencing high level wealth and they want too show people they have arrived. However if you are raised in wealth it’s normal there’s nothing to show off.
Right? Even if I had it a can’t spend a few bands on Chanel. Plus most Chanel bags are impractical. I’m not paying 5k plus for a bag where you can barely fit a wallet into
The only responsibility you have with money is to use it to cover your needs and prepare for emergencies. Everything else is material. Thanks for the extremely insightful video!
A year later and you still feel the pressure even with the whole quote on quote “ soft life”. I always felt it best to just live within your means, it’s okay to be simplistic. You don’t have to have the biggest house flashiest car and all these material possessions to feel good or accomplished. It’s nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself, but when we start downing others, or glorifying money and things that’s when it becomes an issue.
I also try not to look at ig stories of people I follow on ig. Because there lavish lifestyle has a tendency to influence me from spending which I will just regret later on. Thank you for this insight. And a great reminder that I was just doing the right thing by trying to be frugal.
I've definitely found myself saying the statements you mentioned when you were discussing hating on other people by showing my "concern". Deep down I could feel that what I was doing was wrong and I mostly said it because I wished I had their resources. I'm really ashamed of this behavior and I hate the fact that I can get so jealous. Your point about being happy for other people really hit home. I'm learning to appreciate the good aspects of the content that I watch and stop watching people's pockets.
There is someone on my social media who is so desperate to convince people he’s rich, but he works with my mom and she makes literally three times his salary, and she’s not rich. It’s sad, honestly.
When you really think about it it’s so sad that our generation prioritises showing off how well they’re doing on social media to majority of people who don’t know them or even care for them that over ensuring that they’re actually happy in real life
I just stumbled on your channel and you're absolutely right. Our generation has got use to the idea of splurging and living luxury 24/7. The wants and materialistic influence has now unweighted the human necessity. And the pressure out there especially Instagram now affected the way we build relationships or live the REALITY in general. There's lots to say and work out cause this ""fake it to make it"" is digging a never return hole for our future and the next generation to come. You've grabbed a new sub! God bless 🙌
2 of my roommates who were always flexing on Instagram literally always paid their rent late and owed me money for so long. It's all a lie lol
I hope you’ve collected your money though
Fuck Room mate culture. Because it's discriminate.
yaas girl, my brother literally posted on Instagram a picture he drove a Ferrari, i asked him if it was his Ferrari and he told me it was just a test drive bc someone wanted to repair it lol (he was a mechanic at this time).My brother buys 100$ moschino t -shirt while living in 500$ apartment. All the girls really think he has lots of money but i think its super lame, once you figure out the truth
@@pinkyfish6850 I make close to $100K and NEVER would I EVER spend $100 on a single tshirt. That's absurd.
My manager went out and about a luxury car and is always at soem type of club, lounge, or event every weekend and is always buying new clothes and unnecessary junk from Target and the Gucci store "for the Gram." When the pandemic hit they started to fret. I was ASTOUNDED that a person who lived the way they did on IG and IRL didnt even have a savings account. Meanwhile I, driving the same car my parents bought me in college, saved close to $100k over the last 10 years and took the shutdown as an adult summer break. I even took over all of my parents' bills and mine with ease.
Dont let IG life have you out here looking good while losing.
Social media has really done a number on us.
Regrettably so. It's really bad.
It has 😔
It's very toxic
Im just now realizing this after 10 yrs of being on social media and now all my time is spent on undoing all the mental shit that it put me through 😭
@@mcsaism same here, divesting from some of the toxic habits and lifestyle I learned on social media.
I’m almost debt free because I don’t have social media. Soon as I stopped seeing, I stopped spending 😂😂😂.
Facts! I unfollowed so many brands off my Facebook and Instagram.
That's so true..
same !!
Same! 😂 isn’t it great . I finally feel like I’m accomplishing a lot at 22.
So true!
Something I’ve noticed is that people more readily compliment and congratulate seemingly successful strangers, whereas with the people they’ve known in real life (those who are closer in proximity to them) - they tend to be more bitter and jealous. They see strangers and the famous as inspirations, whereas their peers are competition that they measure themselves against.
Out of all the Earthly languages and you chose to speak FAXS
Very true. Because people close to us or our peers remind us of our stagnation as they blossomed and achieved success. It is the "Envy" thing. The only sin that does not make you feel good when you are experiencing it.
Also when it comes to looks/ perceived attractiveness. I’ve absolutely noticed this in emotionally immature borderline hateful people close to me in the past.
Simply because, no man is a prophet in his own house.
Yesss. So true.
If we took most of these “luxury items”, removed the tags and put them in Marshals or Target, most people would walk right past them and show zero interest.
The luxury items are actually made with higher quality materials, though.
@@LisaCulton yeah I agree. I have bought some luxury items for myself and some ladies throughout my life but we know that most people are buying Gucci because of the GG all over the item.
@@enohp660 The double g "GG" canvas is a nice classic design, I have to admit. However, most Gucci clothing and accessories don't use that particular material/design. I read that they started producing it more specifically for the people who want to stunt. Everybody else who doesn't feel the need to show off so much buys the other stuff.
@@LisaCulton Not always. Most of them are made in sweatshops. The bulk of the value comes from the brand
@@leonrobinson8180 Well, all I know is that I can't get a blazer made of Loro Piana wool from H&M but I can get if from Brooks Brothers.
Comparison is the thief of joy!
This! I learned this phrase and it never left me. However, it did convince me to leave all my SM accounts and I've never been more at peace.
Exactly like people be watching others too much
Well said. This is so true!
That part!
Facts
One of the main reasons I came off of social media. I got tired of all that nonsense.
😢😢
Same here!! It was exhausting to see everyone living this lifestyle and feeling like I had to when in reality have no care for it at all.
Same
Just unfollow, and follow the ones that build and encourage you - personal finance, spirituality etc etc
Exactly. I don’t care about these people or their opinions at all. I have nothing to prove.
The title is already such a big mood.
😅
Your comment also
What’s really going on? 🤷🏽♀️
I deleted instagram in 2013, when it started getting really big. I was 19 at the time and I can't explain it, it's like I felt deep down that it was NOT a good idea to be consuming peoples lives this way and that it was only going to get worse. I'm so happy I did that, 27 now and I don't feel any pressure to be anything other than myself and focus and nourish what's happening in real time. Life is good in REAL life 💕
Weird flex
I withdrew from IG when I graduated high school In 2015 for the and reason.
I had that same intuitive feeling in 2015. I wish I had listened to it. I deleted it in 2020. My life became richer!! I started it back up and after 7 months I have had enough and deleted it. I will not go back. I really enjoy giving my all to those in my life in real time.
I deleted my insta approx 7 months ago after deactivating and reactivating off and on for a couple months, and after a few years of being chronically online. You are so CORRECT. Life is better IRL
@@srorrim hahahahahah
Learning to be ok with the fact that there'll always be people who are prettier, richer, smarter and have it together better than me helped me deal with my feelings of inadequacy.
Same. Once I embraced that, I hardly ever get jealous and if I do it’s low level jealously like wishing I was more put together, but it quickly passes. I truly embrace doing what’s best for you and your life and not worrying so much about what other people are doing because chances are the behind the scenes work they have to do to keep up appearances/maintain a certain life style isn’t all glitter and gold. That’s why I don’t envy the rich, or pretty. I’ve seen what goes on behind the scenes and am perfectly content with my boring out of the spot light life. Too much unnecessary drama for me.
I need to work on that because holy shit that can make me feel restless sometimes
exactly! like i don't need to be the best to feel great hahah and that's healthy to appreciate that ppl have different talents/goals etc and be happy for them. nothing to do with me and my own stuff going on. i feel like we don't need to keep up with the jones' as much when we're happy for the jones' and realize they live difft lives that ain't got sht to do w me :)
And because of that you're clearly not inadequate... 😊
Right when I see pretty girls on insta and people say just block them, etc. I’m like y’all know pretty girls can exist irl and you can’t just block them. Sometimes you just gotta accept people are pretty lmao.
Haven’t y’all noticed that when “after pay” or pay in 4 became a thing all a sudden everybody got nice things 👀😂
Truuuuuee
Yes... your comment deserves more likes because it’s big FACTS
I just discovered this and it’s definitely easier to overspend now.
Yes, and it's sad! People shouldn't spend money they don't have right away
I’d rather work an extra shift than use after pay.
Honestly, social media puts a lot of pressure on people. I'm 24 and finishing university, yet sometimes I feel like I accomplished nothing because a lot of people on Instagram are my age and it seems like everybody is rich.
EDIT: To everyone who shared their experience, thank you. You all got this! Good luck with everything you decide to do in life and thank you for your kind words!❤
same im 23 n graduating next yr, still havent even started earning money
That’s so sad to hear because we’re still so young!! X
Focus on what you said in your last sentence: “It _SEEMS_ like everybody is rich.” I guarantee you they’re not all rich. They’re just making it _seem_ like it. I knew a couple of guys back in college who would sometimes rent an amazing sports car for a day and then take a bunch of pictures in it, only to upload those over weeks & months to make it look like they owned that car. Same with clothes: some people buy cheap knock-offs (esp when it comes to purses, sunglasses, etc) to make it LOOK like they’re balling but really they’re making $45k a year in their first job out of college and buying things second-hand on Poshmark. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, if they owned up to it.
Remember: perceptions are manufactured. Looks are deceiving. 🙃 Your real self is essentially competing with other people’s “fake selves” on social media.
Congratulations on graduating! That’s a major accomplishment. ❤️
@@KerriganTisdale thank you!❤ I'm slowly realising what a huge achievement that is and looking forward to what life has to offer!
That’s why I deleted all my social media. People are weird and fake. It’s like if you don’t post it or take a picture of everything you do, it didn’t happen. Like you’re not allowed to live your life in real time. People be so upset they can’t watch you and really that’s the only access they have to you. They think they know you when they only know OF you.
Yassss
I feel the same way about not posting a lot and seeming irrelevant because of it.
That last part!!
Ikr I agree
@@itumelengthokwane5096 same it's like they think you're not living your best life or something
As a former debt collector, and was loan officer, and now a Finical Counselor people are faking it hard!
I recently found out that many youtubers that vlog luxury hauls, many of them return the items back to the stores. Some of them were caught when asked in the comments to do a review update, Many of their response were always, "I sold it." Total BS.
Very true. Some even rent the bag. I just watched someone yesterday who got a new jeep and sold it. Yea right lol
Where can i see that and who?? How did you realize??? Just curious
@@IsabelM7 Just ask anyone you're subscribed to and have them do an update on a bag or luxury item they vlogged of. You'll find they won't be able to deliver that item in a vlog.They will tell you it's either been sold, given away, or had been returned due to quality. These RUclipsrs are finding ways to create more content in exchange for views/subscribers > $$$
Most of the products they don't even buy. Makeup, for example. They're sent to them for free in exchange for a review. Either is fine, I have nothing against it. Hell, free products in exchange for a review? Sign me up, lol. But, honesty makes it more trustworthy.
There are those who were upfront and honest about it tho and I admire that (well, the honesty.) they admit it’s solely for entertainment only and doesn’t claim yhings
Remember you can have everything by 25 and lose it all
by 30
😂😂😂😂😂fuck , I had everything by 21 and lost it by 25 now.
Definitely experienced this!
How ? And why? Please give us clarity.
Very true. Always remain humble
When you make good money you think it’s going to last forever and adopt a higher life style.then possibly get smacked down to reality
As someone that lives in Southern California, most people are faking it. I've been across various expensive restaurants and venues. Most people here are not living like that. Those with higher incomes (i.e. engineers, doctors) dress and live very normal lives. They tend to be frugal due to the high cost of living.
True!
facts
@Drea Talks Never said they were rich. However, certain specialties that make over 200k aren't living frivolously like people on Instagram. Many of them are frugal.
I think she meant upper middle class
I'm an Engineer in LA. I'm not going out of my way to keep up with these transplants. I have a mortgage tuh 😩
Sadly appearing wealthy on social has become a game sport.
Yup
An extreme sport at that. 🙄
This is why I deleted my accounts because it was starting to affect the way I saw myself and how I'm progressing in life and I'm only 19 it literally didn't make sense because I just finished highschool why do feel the need to have it all together.
Great way to put it. I like that
Yes I was thinking the same thing!?! I was like why is everyone unboxing Chanel and Hermes bags etc...?? I buy luxury too for like anniversary or Birthday or push gifts, but I’m discouraged of buying designer bags and shoes now because everyone has it doesn’t feel luxurious anymore and it doesn’t seem special. Not like there’s nothing wrong with others buying Luxury but dang I see bag unboxing’s and luxury car buying like they buying a bag of chips. My husband said that’s why people use credit cards...
This is why I suck at social media. I really don't like talking about myself lol
SAME! I feel weird posting about my life. It makes me uncomfortable. I can't seem to shake the feeling that every time I post something it just seems like a humble brag of some sort even when I'm not trying to.
Same here! I don't even have that much photos with the people I love the most. I prefer to keep it private and enjoy the moment with them :)
I don't mind talking about myself, I don't like social media, only youtube if I have a message to send out. I just get over stimulated if people start talking to me and about me....I think it has to do with being "anti social"
Same here. Lol. Specially when I have big plans, I hate having people knowing what my plans are and would never post them on social media to share with a lot of people I have met at some point in my life (because let’s be honest here, not all your Facebook friends are your actual friends).
Same here! I almost never post on Instagram LOL
After being off of social media for a year now, I have absolutely no desire to go back. Social media made me depressed that I wasn't already "somewhere" in life. I constantly compared myself to other young adults' lives, wishing I was them so badly. Now, I have grown wayyyy more confident and comfortable in my life, my skin, and ultimately, my true self. I am 20 and I have finally realized that life has BARELY started for me. Also, I LOVE what you said about what would your profession be if you did not have to tell anyone. For me, I would have chosen to major in education and become a high school teacher.
As a young one told me recently....'Not everyone is rich or living the life, it's the people that YOU follow' We have immense responsibility when it comes to social media. One of them is who we choose to follow.
Yes! Choose you follow wisely and you won’t feel like this. I feel good on social media but I just send too much time looking at sh*t.
Exactly! This should be top comment! Stop following shallow people! There are food channels, plant channels, decor, books, and yet the majority of y’all choose to follow the fakes.
THIS IS IT! my relationship with social media is so much better now because I’m intentional about the content that I consume. As soon as a I see something that makes me feel a certain way, i mute, i unfollow, i remove, I waste no time at all😭 now my feed generally is very positive and my time on social media is also enjoyable. Also I am very secure and happy in myself so I know not to let an image on social media make me feel a certain way.
@@froyokid Thank you! x
That is such a good point. Who are we choosing to give our attention to.
Honestly at this point I can’t see the good in social media. It seems like more negatives outweigh the positive
Hmm this is kinda true but sad 😔
Agreed. We are beyond the point of social network “bringing people together”. Which it was apparently designed to do. This culture is only going to get worse.
Social media isn’t all bad but it’s the collective low self esteem in individuals that makes us use the tool in the worst ways. It’s still human nature but that of the lowest form, emanating from an imbalance of the chakras from within
Yes unless you are someone earning money through it trying to sell yourself or a product what’s the point
@@cecee3480 that’s my thoughts exactly
I am a teacher and I show these videos to my classes. They are so helpful for exploring the kind of social issues that matter to teen girls and are in depth enough to be really fascinating but still accessible. Just wanted to mention because I thought you might not be aware that the impact of this work goes beyond just the people who are subscribed on youtube. Amazing work
Oh wow! This has really shocked me 🥺🥺 so honoured thank you and I hope your class are finding my videos useful. Thank you 🤎🤎
@@AdellaAfadi No worries! No pressure but please keep doing what you are doing! These videos are everything I want young people to think about and engage with but (trust me) they take much more interest in it coming from you than me!
That is awesome. My Professor had us do a media fast. Even from texting. Just text for important stuff. We even fasted from music. She wanted for us to experience silence. Since most of the time we can't even go a minute without technology. I mean of course we used the computer to write papers. But outside of that we couldn't just do mindless scrolling. It made me see how much more time I had and how I am addicted to my phone. I highly suggest you do this with your class. We did it for like 3 days.
I wish I would have had these kind of adults in my life when I was a kid. How wonderful that you are sharing these videos
Somebody needs to show these kids the truth.a lot of think there going to become famous just for being famous.many are not aspiring to become doctors or lawyers anymore
You’d be surprised on how much debt people be carrying only to show off good cars, expensive clothes, big weddings, etc. I’ve seen this with my own eyes.
Me too!
as someone who's feeling really behind in life compared to my peers, i really needed to hear the message of this video. thank you so much for this.
U feeling behind only means u are right where u need to be. Keep your head up and keep it moving
@@HustleMagnets thank you 💕
I’m 25 and feel behind in life at times. We need to change our metrics on how we measure ourselves. I’m still learning this and that I should not compare myself to my friends because we all have different factors that set our lives up, and yeah we grew up together but I had different life experiences I had to face than they did and that can change your path too! The most important thing is to know who you are and do the things that keep you happy 😊
@@RhianeHacker facts
Its soooo nice to find a black UK RUclipsr speaking SENSE and looking beautiful without spider lashes and heavy makeup!!
😂
I don’t understand what’s wrong with how people want to carry themselves... if someone wants to wear makeup and lashes that’s cool and if they don’t that’s cool too, there’s plenty of both
@@Alecexo I think she meant without over make up
@@Alecexo That's true but I mean the very very heavy makeup and lashes. It's just nice to find someone who can represent a different style for UK black girls.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
“Don’t go broke trying to impress irrelevant people”😓 “try to be happy for other people “😥 well said... your videos are always enlightening ❤️
I’m surprised this isn’t obvious to a lot more people. Almost scary to realize this is how people view the world.
I have no social media. I live by my own standards and make my own standards and don’t care what everybody else doing because they are foolishly invisible to me. There problem solved!
Yasss!
Literally me💀 I love that phrase. “Foolishly invisible”. I find the social psychology of how social media is ruining the fabric of society and it’s collective mental and emotional health fascinating as hell.....aside from that I’m chillin💅🏿
So RUclips isn’t social media?
@@jonferngut do it look like I have an up and running page on here, a lot of subscribers, getting monetary gains etc. or am I just here to learn/entertain myself without engaging in that side of RUclips? It ain’t what you do it’s how you do it! Oh okay‼️ 🤦🏾♀️✌🏾
@@jonferngut depends what you watch i’d say. Theres plenty of videos on RUclips that have a complete different vibe than other social media apps.
I’m not big on luxury. My perspective is that a roof over my head and food in my belly means that I’m doing just great.
Same. Luxury to me is just that it’s a luxury. Meaning it’s something that is not a necessity, but maybe I get to experience it every once in a while provided i can afford it. In general though, so long as I can live within my means and in a relatively comfortable manner I’m content.
I am so grateful I was a loner and antisocial as a kid. The need to fit it still eludes me.
I graduated a week ago & at graduation, there were ppl who had Balenciaga’s, Valentino, and all other types of designer shoes. And I bet my last dollar they received student loans. Ppl really aren’t rich, they just give off the illusion that they are.
Yep. My ex in college bought Gucci loafers with his refund check 😂
It’s probably all fake
@@sbrown40 you’re kidding! That explains so much lol
@@SynterraSteen I wish I was, I was with him when he bought them! You can tell when the refund checks hit the accounts everybody came back looking like stars on campus 😂 I wasn’t about that life 😂😂😂😂
THIS!!!
The main reason I have deactivated all of my social media accounts. I’m facing my front... Anyway, I loved the video x
It seems a lot of people are doing this 😳😳
Yes, this has made me feel so free. I felt like with social media « anything that I didn’t share on social media didn’t really happen ». Also, I kept comparing myself to complete strangers. I’m off social media & I won’t go back anytime soon.
Same! I have not one social media account now and I feel amazing
@Zana “anything I didn’t share on social media, didn’t really happen.” PREEEEAACH! It’s so sad sm has influenced us to think like this! So toxic!
Same I deleted Twitter and Instagram but I'm on Instagram again but I rarely go on there
Needed this reality check today. I am only 30 but get so down seeing everyone else bragging about their family lives and successes, homes, fancy clothing... it's important to remember that it isnt always what it seems, and even if it is it shouldn't matter.
Same, girl!😪 i’m à lil older than you have a decent income to live but when i see all these stuff on social média that call me ” girl you ’re so broke”😂
Agreed! This was right on time honestly.
Same here xx I am so confused and I keep thinking am I doing something wrong haha xx but I know me and my son are happy and have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our bellies lol x
@MissMaeww I would like to add that even people who are successful don't tell you exactly what they did to become successful. For example alot of self made millionaires and billionaires had alot of connections the average person doesn't have access too. The details are ALWAYS left out.
@@garrettmoise1003 True, details matter, and many people may not want to tell you how they obtained their success.
Such a needed video.
I'm mexican and a minimalist. I've working hard in my business and my finances by a while now.
I save 60% of my income and I bought a used car in cash and I live in a regular department.
Yet, some of my friends that they have told me that they make way less that I made are driving brand new cars with 5 years credits, living in the top area of the city with 4 roomies and going to Cancun every 6 months.
Even though you might have a strong mindset, that kind of things fuck with your mind a little bit. And you just kinda feel you're being left behind.
NO brother. You not behind. I save 50% of income and I gotta tell you it feels GREAT,not to have to live on edge. Just before pandemic I was thinking of upgrading to a fancier neighborhood, gym etc.
That got shut down by fate of course,and I'm glad now.
Being, living and acting low key is happiness. When pandemic raged, I was fine because I had everything I NEEDED. No need for any outside help.
I saw many folks,around me go under because they had no savings or resources because they believed social media lies.
Give me a good book and a cup of tea or coffee I'm happy.
When you réalisé being antisocial saves you money 😂
This lol
This!!!
Asocial*
So true
True. Cut out the unnecessary b.s. and ya ya and blah blah blah with people. And running hither, thither and yonder to all these concerts, clubs and games.
You'll save a ton of money. And you'll be far more praceful.
I deleted all my socials shortly after watching this. Life is good.
Nothing wrong with social media but if you can’t handle it delete is a must
I got rid of all my socials except RUclips and it does feel good.
@@FoleyNflexi I did the same a few years ago ….so so so much happier
@Antoinette Ward no idea how deactivating your business social media makes any sense
@@alp.9672 She said she has business ones but deactivated her personal!
I deleted my socials!!! If you don't have a business that requires you to have social media, then I suggest getting off of it! Your mental health with thank you. It's been a year since I've deleted all my socials and I feel so free!!!!!!! I truly don't care about what others are doing.
I agree.
Love ya profile photo, you’re sooo pretty 💜
Keyah L thank you!!!!! So kind of you
Did the same! Love it!
Sad but true ! I’m pushing 30 and my tolerance level is so low ! Social media has become such a negative platform as a whole.
They are broke asf! I grew up in family were having brand name clothes is a must. Let’s say me and my brothers broke that cycle, shit is ridiculous and expensive asf. I just go thrift shopping now, because you find amazing pieces without breaking your pockets.
Amen! I love thrifting
I love thrifting. Find NWT items for $3 all the time and quality brands too
From Designer to thrifting? Ok that was a big jump
TJ Maxx
That's wonderful!
To be fair, now a days brands and logos matter less than generally looking good and having a well polished aesthetic.
Really appreciate this video! Such good insight to ask, “would I do or want this if other people couldn’t see it” that will stay with me!! x
Hi Isabellaaaaa i luv your vids
There’s a book worth reading, The Millionaire Next Door, which addresses the discreet wealthy and their habits.
Not everyone needs to broadcast their wealth. Wise people NEVER advertise their wealth.
This is it!!👏👏👏
i think the best way to combat this or any invasive comparison thoughts, is to frequently remind yourself (maybe even write down) what *HAPPINESS* and *SUCCESS* looks like *TO YOU* ✨
Great idea. Also write 3 things you are grateful for each morning if you can. Great way of keeping the negative thoughts at bay for the day.
Yes QUEEN👸🏾🧜🏾♀️🧚🏽♀️we will❤❤❤thank you
Most are faking it if my man buys me a luxury bag and goods I will thank him and put it away rather than display it all over insta and snap not everybody needs to see you do good.
That's a word right there. The evil eyes is real. You never really know what your "followers" truly think about you, especially when you have "friends" on social media that you haven't spoken to in months or years. There's a reason as to why that relationship fell through, therefore why are you letting them see the highlights of your life🗣💯
@@quelquun2018 yes this is what I think ab. Like why do you want to let ppl who aren't your friends know what's going on in your life? I feel like someone knowing your business is a luxury. Even my parents do this. They think every milestone or outing is to be posted on Facebook. So annoying. Every second it's take a picture, Facebook live. Just to let ppl know what their kids are doing. Like if you want to document post yourself & your raggedy life leave me out of it.
But not wearing a nice bag that someone gave you seems wrong to me, too.
My man bought me a bracelet from Kay jewelers and i never even told anyone let alone post it. People will see what is needed at the right time.
I think she wears it, but doesn’t post it on social media.
To be fair, I think a lot of people think I’m rich because I travel a lot but I also always had roommates, never had a car, brought lunch to work everyday, never buy coffee, etc. Sometimes it can be different priorities. Edit I don’t follow anyone sporting expensive bags and clothing and I lived in NYC. I think a lot depends who you follow. I love personal finance, food, craft beer, and home decor right now and that’s what I usually see on my social media.
Yes, It's all about priorities. I used to takes trips to Paris and Berlin (from Texas), but I didn't have a car at the time.
I agree. I was just thinking this. I spend $ of quality things over quantity. Some people may judge me off of it, but I’m not spending money on daily lattes or lunches and dinners out. Some of my coworkers eat out every single day. $10 (min per day) is $3,650 a year! Holy hell that’s a lot. And that’s just 1 meal a day. It can easily surpass that. I also must agree on carefully selecting who you follow on IG, I had to delete MANY accounts that were really not adding any value to my life.
Same! Omg I am the same :o and my feed is filled with dollar tree diys for home decor XD
I like how you put it. I’m just coming back on social media after an almost 2 year hiatus. I deleted everything and am currently unfollowing a massive amount of pages that don’t fit me.
If I do actually log in, I want to see what inspires me and makes me feel good.
people think that when I tell them I bought my own house at 27.
I bought a house in a rural area 30 miles from the nearest city that was so badly deteriorating it needed to be gutted down to the studs. I bought it for 33k total. And I saved for years driving a 20 year old hand me down car, living with my parents, hardly ever going out, taking cheap vacations in state in my tent, wearing my clothes well past the point I should have and going to thrift/Walmart when completely forced to replace anything.
I gave up ALOT. Yes I was privileged. Yes I was lucky. But me and my parents weren't wealthy.
I did because it was a priority I was willing to sacrifice for and life's circumstances enabled me to do it.
Between your research, calming tone of voice and authenticity, I’m sold on your channel. Loved every minute of this. Well done.
Thank you so much 🥺🥰
I know right?! Her tone is everything
"Who decided renting a new flat that you love is stupid but getting tied into a 30 year mortgage is a smart thing to do?" YES
I'm a landlord that have people that pull their family money together to pay my mortgages and cash flow on top of it. If you have children it is ridiculous to rent if you can own. You pass real estate through generations and that is how you truly build wealth.
@@shelleygreyrealtor ew. people are just tryna live and there's more than one way to build generational wealth/well-being
@@Ethiodawg lol no one is denying (or arguing) the pros of home ownership. this is just highlighting the cons and the fact that renting has been demonized when it actually has advantages
timestamp
No, because at the end of the 30 year mortgage you will own a home and at the end of a 30 year tenancy you will own nothing.
About practicing being happy for people: I have been getting progressively more bitter towards people who choose luxury, and I am also working to curtail this because it is a bad mentality, but I have done some introspecting and find that it doesn't come from jealousy, but instead from wishing they had used their resources for something more benevolent.A kind of disappointment that our society at large chooses to invest more in an endless refinement of material staples than helping our fellow people. But maybe that is kind of jealousy at its core, not sure. Definitely still irks me but I am working through it :) I am definitely realizing that approaching things with kindness and removing assumptions helps arrive at a better understanding, and we must always treat each other with respect.
I remember the days when insta was just a fun place to post photos now it’s like a competition one person posts something you don’t look at it and think “aawww” and just like now it’s “that bag looks nice, I dunno about the shoes....her makeup bangs tho...I think she deserves a like”
Right,social media has made people so judgemental
I understand this completely hence why I stopped posting my fun experiences or times. I hate how curated social media is that ordinary days cannot be shared only the perfected ones or instagramable pictures. I miss unedited pictures and people it’s so fake now.
Yess lmao. It's a way for ppl to size you up. They meet you, then look at your page & size you up. Alot of ppl don't even post anymore or have posts up & I feel like that's why. It's not really fun unless you can keep up your image. & as a moon in the 10th house I'd rather not. I'm too sensitive to public opinion. Laying low is best.
I miss old Instagram when we all just posted fun things in our day to day life and it was all in good fun.
You not even lying… it used to be fun & super chill
I realized something in the last few minutes of your video when you talked about jealousy: oftentimes when people flaunt their (real or fake) wealth, my initial internal response isn’t so much coming from a jealous place, but much more of an instantaneous judgment of “ugh, if I had the same amount of money I wouldn’t do / buy THAT with it.” Which isn’t any better than jealousy 🤣 I just realized it’s quite condescending for me to think, “I don’t necessarily feel envious of their money, I just think they’re spending it the wrong way.” Goes back to what you were saying, too, about judging what’s the “right” way to use your money.
Thanks for pointing this out. Gives me a lot of food for thought and to better myself. ✨
Okay I am YOU lol this is how I am and yea it might not be right either.
I used to think this way too until I started spending money on the things that make ME happy ...and I realized I didn't like the feeling of being judged myself so I had to stop judging others. I like what I like and I will catch an attitude with anyone counting my dollars 😂
Nothing wrong in realizing some people are bad at budgeting.
Sometimes it's really hard not to judge people. For example one of the girl I know from college, start buying luxury items while we were in college using her student loans 😂. It has been almost 8 years since we graduated. She still buys luxury hand bags and shoes and post it on her IG. The funny part is, she still lives with her parents while she is walking around with Chanel bag 😂.
@@hannahanna1490 wow 😂😂😂🤣
I feel that the pandemic has heightened the fragility of our socio-economic outlooks, impairing us from accepting the reality outside of social media. So many flocked to social media as an outlet this past year, and anxiety/depression skyrocketed because we feel less than those who live in supposed abundance while flaunting it on Instagram.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE indulging in luxury items from time to time, and taking international trips annually, but that takes time to obtain. What many don’t realize about influencers is that many of them will do whatever it takes to obtain the means to APPEAR affluent, because their “job” is their appearance rather than their morality and reality. They get things lent or sent to them so that they can advertise for the product, even sent to certain locations to draw the appeal. I believe that with borders reopening and vaccinations increasing, we will be seeing more influencers in exotic locations in order to draw appeal to the area to reignite the travel sector(s).
I'm so glad you mentioned this as it reminds me of a travel influencer I saw on ig yesterday, for example. She did have a huge following, which already affords her a lot of privilege (500k+) but I noticed that several of her posts in a row were all ads for stuff like phone plans, bed and breakfasts, a streaming service, and a few other brands, and it makes me wonder how anyone in that position could truly enjoy traveling and being free since her and other influencers like her are expected to post a bunch of sponsored content every other post to be able to fund those trips and get the post engagement they need to keep the sponsorships, etc.
I don't say this to sound like a hater by any means since I will also have the chance to travel soon, all expenses paid for by myself, but it just seems like so many have propped up the entrepreneur/influencer lifestyle but more strings are attached that really don't have to be there. They're there to uphold the illusion of wealth,class mobility, desirability, beauty, and the status quo in general. Idk.
Wise people would save their money in a pandemic because the chances of them losing their job goes up.
I’ve noticed that with influencers exposing all the nooks and crannies of the hidden world that there is a term, “tourism pollution” that people are traveling WAY more than they used to and are infecting places that are not accustomed to high volumes of people, even in their peak seasons.
So when people say, “Oh my gosh, I LOVE to travel!!” Do you like to travel or do you like to travel because Instagram told you to? If your favorite influencer only promoted the hottest spots in your city would you even get on a plane?
This. Thank you for talking about it. I’m 24 and am relatively frugal. I don’t go out much and I don’t spend tons on make up. I thrift my clothes. I bought a cute lil condo a few months ago and it’s furnished with second hand furniture and I use dishes that were gifted or thrifted. I’ll be feeling proud of myself one moment and then I get on social media and immediately start to feel like I haven’t accomplished anything because my home isn’t furnished with Z Gallerie and my clothes aren’t designer. I have to remind myself constantly that a lot of it is fake in order to make myself feel better.
I'm about retiring debt free and comfortably. Lots of people should be more concerned about that. Love this video
I think it's also important to recognise the emotion of jealousy. It's a normal emotion and hiding behind 'pocket watching' other people or faux concern is so phony. Humans get jealous, it's just what we decide to do with that emotion that shows our true character as people. Whenever I get jealous or envious of these things I also follow up with a nice comment, affirmation and manifestation. 'I love that for them, long may this continue or my own is coming'. Islam snapped when they created 'Mashallah', it allows you to give praise to the person while also protecting you from unwittingly casting evil eye. Love that!
👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾true!
Yesss i love this. It's good to admit our jealousy or envy to ourselves. When I'm envious it lets me know what I want. Then I can take steps to get it. I'd never befriend someone who I feel envy towards though.
Well said
Yesssss. Everytime I see anyone post a beautiful piece of art I get jealous but for me it's a nice thing since it actually fuels me to practice more and actually try to be better at my art. Jealousy can be a good thing if you know how to use it for the better.
That is exactly what Nietschze said. He wrote a lot about jealousy and how you should be honest about being jealous, instead of trying to pretend like you are better (example: the way he interpreted christianity and jealousy lmao)
Because of the pressure of society, I feel like a failure at 25. I don’t have a nice big house, I don’t make six figures yet, I don’t travel every single year, and I’m not married yet. I feel like since I didn’t achieve that yet I failed at life and it’s over for me. Also I have an online business and I thought I was doing something wrong because I seen other businesses blow up in 6 months while I don’t make a lot and I’m a year in business.
I’m 24 and everything takes time even your business it will grow eventually, trust the process.
You’re doing great and on the right track. Don’t let social media fool you into thinking otherwise. Keeping doing what you’re already doing ❤️
I don't understand how you came to this conclusion all based of things you see that have nothing to do with your life. You need to learn to have greater self belief in your ability to achieve what you want for yourself.
I get how you feel. I’m 35 and catch myself feeling this way sometimes. But I always remind myself that those aren’t even really like things that matter, and the timing that ends up happening on its own is usually perfect.
Dude you’re only 25
Its insane that i have to believe i need to be making 100k in my mid 20s. So now instead of enjoying the fact that I worked hard in school to make 70k (which is pretty nice if youre young and single) Im mad bc i cant outflex a person with 200 followers on Twitter but got an AMG 🤦🏾♂️
Social media is ultimately an outgrowth of IRL culture so idk if i put a lot of the blame on the apps. Like Adella said, the real issue that the localized flex culture has now been expanded to an INTERNATIONAL stage. A city by city competition has blown up to the whole world.
It’s important to me to remember that Wealth exists as different manifestations. How much you make gotta be the weakest one. What about how involved you are in your community, how many people know and trust you? I think we flex material things because we want people to talk about us but IMAGINE if you could get the same clout because everyone knows how helpful you are and how u lift up your circle (big or small) The best clout isnt tied to money, its tied to people’s positive emotions towards you. That’s the real flex.
70k is amazing for mid twenties! You should be proud
Thank you for talking about this! I’m so confused so often, I have a pretty decent job and yet I still feel so “behind” all the time. I cannot afford to go on tons of trips and buy designer bags or whatever else everyone seems to be doing.
When you have everything, you appreciate nothing, don't let them take your ability to appreciate things, don't let the rich fool you, they are absolutely miserable.
I think people who actually live that lifestyle dont really flaunt it. This is what i KNOW for a fact, from being in circles with actual OLD money. People who stunt on social media are kids or new money. People who aren't really used to it
I disagree. Some people would like to be seen in their glasshouses, some don’t. It’s all preference
I disagree as well stop thinking you know all ppl with money it's a preference
I agree, Bragging and showing off weak, especially on social media. I have 200+ sneakers...no 1 knows that. I don't post pics and show it. If u see me and ask i might answer. Same for my relationship...might as well add that since people nosey as hell.
Yes, it’s a defense mechanism that rich people developed. If you don’t flaunt your wealth, you’re less likely to be the cause of revolutions. It’s really manipulative and disingenuous really.
It might be true I don't know, but I hate how people are always trying to put the new rich down . Shouldn't we be congratulating them for getting rich without their parents money. For me that's just amazing, they have my respect.
I did get to a point where I thought I was doing something wrong seeing young adults like myself living alone affording luxury goods but it got tiring comparing myself all the time so I'm just focused on my own personal goals
This was on time. Today I shut the world out and stayed in bed as I came to the realization about this specific topic here and how it pertains to my life, my self esteem, etc. I’m going on a social media hiatus now because my mental health is dwindling. Thank you for covering this topic.
I do social media detoxes frequently. It’s nice to be ignorant of what the world is doing and not giving a damn 🤗
Love this video!! One thing I've learned: what we see is actually the opposite of people's financial wealth. We see what they've spent, not what they have. The people I know who are *actually* financially independent/have a high net worth, live pretty modestly, they drive old, used cars, & dress in thrifted/discounted clothes, they just prioritize things differently than most. Then the people I know that buy a lot of flashy clothes or cars, do expensive house updates, ..they're really broke & won't be able to retire, but that's just my personal experience & is not universally true.
I'm only 22 and I would say have accomplished a ton in my life thus far & I am so grateful, but still feel inadequate/not wealthy enough sometimes, I think mainly because of social media.
This is a fascinating topic to me.
You are absolutely right. Look rich or BE rich.
@@iamjane9628 Oh wow, I LOVE that quote.
I'm in my late 50's, so didn't go through the social media challenges when I was younger and things like impressions for the most part did not really exist (outside of people at work/social situations). This is one of the few times I'm glad I'm older! Thank you for posting this video, you're lovely and the message you have is so, so important!
I love how you broke this down! you have a gift of presenting complex information in an easy to understand manner. I was thinking that the Nouveau riche had to show their wealth as they did not have the titles and social status that would grant them privileges in day to day life, whereas the new rich nowadays spend excessively to brag as you explained. anyways, keep on with this great content I truly enjoyed this one :)
Thank you 🥺🥰
Social media definitely has me feeling unworthy and bad because I'm the only one my age that I see who is unmarried/single/child-less/family-less/living in an apt rather than my own home. It's like how messed up must I be if I am 32, can't afford a home, and not one man truly wants to be with me like all of my peers. I felt like I had to keep up with showing off fun activities, cooking, travel, looking good so that men would find me diserable and fun, so I could gain followers and popularity, and I had to show how absorbed I am in my hobbies to show that I am fullfilled being alone. I had to delete it and I feel more fullfilled when I do things that no one can see. I don't like sharing as much anymore and that's difficult, especially as an artist. Part of my career is creating visuals and showing off. So I find that I am creating less art and I am focusing on my other career. So how do I move in silence with my art? I've decided to only show finished work and only posting one photo of it, not showing progress videos and staying off my art page all other times.
That is a great strategy. I've stopped posting since 2019 unless it's on my birthday so you are not alone.
A couple years ago I started a little blog to host some of my little ideas. I played with the thought that if I came across a vid and I had a blog post that was relevant, I would simply link in the comments - and so lead ppl to my site. But I felt that this would change the dynamics of my motivation for writing. Meaning that I risked becoming driven by writing what I thought might be popular for other people instead of letting the ideas flow on it's own .... that I wanted the writing to be free to do it's own thing and not be bound by expectations of any kind.
So I decided that even though I want ppl to like and appreciate my work, that I must act on the condition that my blog is primarily for myself, and it was just a bonus if I got any regular visitors. Ultimately, the work must stand or fall on it's own merit and not on any snazy marketing techniques - at least, I leave the marketing to any visitors that think my work is good enough to share with others.
The first year I got zilch visitors. Then I got a few (exciting & stressful. lol), and now I have a fairly steady stream every day. I only have a bare handful of followers, but I'm pleased about the wide array of countries that hit my pages. Sometimes, a country will spike in the visitor stats and I think - hmm, someone posted a link on their facebook or whatsapp group. One day, I discovered that one of my followers is my unofficial marketing agent since I saw them link to one of my blog posts in one of their comments once. (thanks Phil) LOL. On another day, I can see that one visitor hit a pile of pages and I am pleased that they were clearly interested enough to not simply read just one blog entry and go away never to be seen again but to peruse more of the work.
So I just thought that I would write to let you know that to "move in silence with my art" is feasible. I've done it, and am doing it. Of course, you can't feel sad if you get no visitors your first year.😅 But I always reminded myself, that I wouldn't actually want anyone to 'discover' me, until I had a fair amount of work for them to see anyway.
Edit: Incidentally, I have some blog entries that I think are really good, but have zilch views on them. Oh well.
@@markusgorelli5278 thank you! It's good to hear this works for other people. I agree with your thought process wholeheartedly. I kinda have that approach with my art now in that I don't market it or ask people to follow me. I would rather people find me on their own and genuinely like my art. I haven't posted much in 3 years and plan to start this summer but my work has gathered almost 300 followers just by doing nothing. So once I'm actively posting I know it will spike naturally. I don't plan to explain what I did or show my process, which a lot of artists have to do these days to get thousands of followers. I learned that it's better to have people truly engage and love your work than to feel pressured or mystified by the magic to follow, from constant posts and showing off, just to not have any engagement when it matters most!
I’m the same as you and single mom at 33 after 12 year relationship, but last nearly 2 years I focused so hard on myself for once I got
Some more things done ☑️ and I love what I have created rather than following on social media over over feeling like I didn’t have my shit together. Nearly 2 years in , Iv savings , I’m happier , I’m upskilling online I sign language to get qualified and working hard when I do work 👊🏻🙂
Please travel to Africa and see how people are suffering then you will be grateful for what you have and take for granted
Loving the lip colour sis
Thank you 😊
That part about learning to be happy for people really hit home for me. I do sometimes experience bitterness and jealousy when I see people doing well, so I need to work on that. Great video overall though. Just subscribed and excited to see what's to come!
Let’s be honest, 99% of what we covet is because others have put value on it.
The perception of living a luxurious life or career makes us think we are of importance and accepted. We think these things can somehow bring a better relationship with our peers, bring a higher status of mate, and just over all better life wellbeing. It’s a facade. These things are only shiny for a little while before something else is needed to be obtained. Studies show this never ends and why social media depression is very real.
Those benefits are pretty real though. Going from making nothing to making something things change majorly. As far as happiness it depends on the person. If you know ab instinct stackings people who are sp blind are more likely to have money & still be depressed bc it doesn't really make them happy. They care more ab social relationships
@@sunnc Are the people really your mates if they only like you when you are doing well?
Very true, but a lot of value is wrapped up in your social status now a days which is sad
Social media created depression if you ask me
@@missfefeloves No, it existed before, social media just exacerbated it.
13:29 is so important!!! Some people on social media are not actually fake, that is the life they are genuinely living and it comes down to an issue of comparison. A lot of people find this faux comfort in the fact that social media does tend to be fake. I think we should learn to be secure in ourselves ultimately. Fake, real or just highlight reel, it really does not matter to me. I just like the picture and just keep scrolling. I’m focused on me and bettering myself!
17:30 is another great point too! Because I’m secure in myself, when I see other people post I just think ‘good for them, congrats to them!’ Fake or not, real or not, that really is nothing to do with me. This person has posted a nice picture so I like the pic and keep going with MY life. ‘Train your brain to not be a hater’ is such an excellent point.
The pictures and videos are entertaining... I started enjoying the show since the day I critically listened to the part where my favourite artiste said, all their contemporary are taking stuff up and misleading younger generation.
Knowing I'm part of the younger generation that look up to this people, I started rethinking my focal.
I'm 22 years old and finishing university. Deep inside I know whatever I am doing right now I am doing good I have a long-term plan for myself but every time when I open my social media I felt I am lost, not doing anything, and start doubting my own plan. Initially, social media was created to make people close but I think more the access you have to get in touch with people more we are getting far from each other.
Please know that I am your age and feel exactly the same. I deleted Instagram at the beginning of March and I feel much better.
People are getting out of touch with reality because of societal media. I believe social media is good for things like managing buisness, creating awareness and sharing news and even connecting with friends but people took it too literal which is unhealthy & addicting
Exactly in the same boat rn...trying to get off social media now so I don't derail myself from what I could achieve with focus and perspective
I grew up quite poor but am well off now. I feel like I will never forget that actual value of money, therefore I’m quite frugal. I get stressed out a bit when I spend money on luxury. I have gotten better at it, but still I feel quilt, Social media contributes to this, since it makes me feel I should live another lifestyle that I’m just not comfortable with.
I like the question you ask about, 'if these things were not hyped or statement symbols' good food for thought.
Really enjoyed this video, I do relate but I learnt a lot as well. Very positive impact 💕
Share your story! X
Would be so lovely to hear your opinion on this topic Mariam especially since you are in the public eye and probably know a lot more than we do about the social media influencer/ reality star lifestyle. You definitely could help a lot of us, love you lots princess x
Thanks Mariam. I love your content 🥰
Mariammm
@@shaynaloveswiss1 ?
Privately schooled in London, came here from east Africa. One thing that shocked me was seeing that the literal multi-millionaires kids had private IG accounts with only their closest friends + family. The popular rich kid on IG was more of an exception then a norm. In short, yes we’re broke sis. But so are those so keen to show their life online lol. There are people who are living those lives but trust me their not trying to show us lmaoooo
A message!!! I go to a university with a lot of rich abroad students. This Asian girl in my class was worth millions but I never knew cause she was sweet and regular-dressing. Later, a classmate told me that her dad owned the biggest door manufacturer in China.....I was like wow!!! Real money is super SILENT.
@Lauren Y. Redistribute your wealth.
@Lauren Y. Makes sense because anytime I heard the phrase "high value" it throws me off. If you dont mind me asking did you grow up wealthy? Sorry if this is intrusive
I heard a quote something like Rich Shouts, Wealth Whispers
@@Maya-xm5jx most of them don’t like to draw unnecessary attention
It’s like you read my mind. I’m like how does everyone own £3k designer bags? I’m just here like, am I just broke because? 🤣 And I actually earn good money 🥲 haha
You have priorities and others seem like they don’t lol. Also, a lot of these bags are fake! Keep doing you booo 😍
That was me yesterday 😂😂
They are dupes from china or they buy the bag to take pictures and then they mail it back for a refund.
Two words: Flea Market
@@Ashak2001 🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh nooooo say it ain’t so
"The Century of the Self", by Adam Curtis. You would benefit watching this excellent documentary, about 20 years old, on mass programing and making people do what you want, a tactics the business world uses to throw you into mental crisis. That four hour series documentary will spare you a lot of grief and depression if you learn from it. Highly recommended for young people, who would get a lifetime benefit from it. I have watched it 5 times in twenty years.
This was a really important video for me to watch. I’ve found myself falling down a rabbit hole lately where I’m constantly onto the next one. I literally just got a $7k bag recently and was scrolling and online shopping for a new designer bag just days later. It’s exhausting and the fix I’m getting from the purchases is getting shorter and less exciting. And social media makes it look like these 20 somethings are running around wearing designer everything head to toe. I’m in my mid 30s and definitely not anywhere close to buying designer ready to wear on the regular by any means yet I think If I were to compare myself to the general public I would be off quite well and yet social media makes me feel inadequate and yet I cannot get myself to cut that cord. Sorry for the rant. This triggered something inside me I guess
“Would you still buy it if you could not post it on social media?” You already know 😂
I don’t post my chanels or fake boobs not even my wedding pics 😂
Same here...have a dressing and a seperate shoe room...living in the mountains with a dope ass view...travel almost every month...i'm 26. I don't have social media, no instagram or something. There was a handful of people who saw my home and see my pics. I would never share my life to anyone i dont care.
I wear my bags for myself...i dont need acceptance or confirmation. I also do grocery and buy with coupons, i travel with a train because i have no driving licence...because i dont need a car. But i also can flex if i want to...but stay natural. Just natural...no one care if your watch is a rolex or a timex because everyone have their own problems.
Yes I would 😄
@@susanmeier5168 facts baby girl same way
The algorithm is working in your favor girl! 🙌🏾 This video was recommended to me and I’m so happy it was. I love these type of videos/discussions. Hitting that subscribe button now
Not the mesolimbic pathway 😭 love the amount of research that goes into your topics 🥺
Student loans are a big equalizer. I know friends who make the hundred K but pay 1700$ per month toward their student loans and rarely have a social life, Vs. friends who make 48K and have a lot of disposable income because they owe zero in student loans.
Yes so true!!
I’m so glad RUclips recommended this video to me! I love this. I’ve been thinking about someone at work who is on the same salary as me, but she eats out about 5 times a week and goes away every weekend. I have no idea how she’s affording it!
Not staying for the video. Saw the title in my suggestions and popped in to say they’re faking it. Godspeed.
😂😂 this made me laugh!
YES!! I needed this. I was so depressed because I was like damn, Im losing and everyone is on top until I realized it was all fake or they were just deeply in debt. I heard that people also buy name-brand and lux bags and do "fake" shopping sprees... I was mind blown. I literally thought all of this was legit and it made me feel terrible about myself. It's just trying to one-up every person they can! I hate it!!! Until they make it known it's FAKE, It will just make me feel like the insecure one. It sucks because more people are in competition so people like us who live normal lives and stay humble feel way less than as if were not the normal ones but because this power is so intense it makes it hard to realize WE ARE THE NORMAL ONES and they are the sick ones lol
Yes do a video on comparison. "Comparison is like chasing after the wind" Solomon
I've found myself jealous of something I didn't even want for myself? I still fully haven't worked through why that it. I think it's because society programs us to think we should want certain things, relationships, goals, status. We have to really consider what it is we ourselves actually want.
"I found myself jealous of something I didn't even want for myself" - THIS!!💯. My friend and I had a conversation a while back and we put it down to the underlying "sense of achievement" that those things represent
Honestly I think people will just be happier if learn that not everything in life is a competition. Once you learn how to love yourself and be happy for other people you don’t compare yourself. If you see someone with a birkin, great! That’s awesome for them. Why compare? And truly it’s all about minding your own business. When your brain starts saying are they “bad with money” and etc, unless they are someone you care about showing obvious signs they are struggling, mind your own business. That is your brains way of coping with negative feelings like envy and sadness. Be grateful for you have and be kind to yourself. I’m sorry for anyone struggling with this.
My therapist says that comparing is despairing, and Adella is normalizing jealousy and trying to readjust negative thoughts into positivity, this is key, I love this video!!!
I can always relate to your videos lol I definitely caught myself wanting things i never wanted before because of social media and constantly reminding myself these luxury bag women on youtube are not my age mates lool
😅😅😅 for real
Sameeeeew
I always find it weird when people post pictures of their gift.
The algorithm recommended this video to me and I'm glad it did! The way you speak and present information is really engaging. I've been off FB and IG for months and I don't miss them at all. I'm now able to focus on myself and what I truly want in life, not on what I think I should want or have. I've definitely spent less money on things I don't really need since I've been off it
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my RUclips channel 11 months ago about self development. Now I have 2,081 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
I've lived paycheck to paycheck my whole life so I was expecting a very different video, never had the luxury to try and fake riches lol very insightful video, thank you!
I believe money talks and wealth whispers if you have to flaunt your wealth then your not wealthy. Wealthy people naturally do not have to impress people with there money because they know they have it. The get rich quick folks are the ones are the type to unbox bags, carelessly spend money and gravitate towards designer because it’s the first time they are experiencing high level wealth and they want too show people they have arrived. However if you are raised in wealth it’s normal there’s nothing to show off.
Honestly , I literally just tweeted this like how is everyone affording Chanel ??😂😅😂
Right? Even if I had it a can’t spend a few bands on Chanel. Plus most Chanel bags are impractical. I’m not paying 5k plus for a bag where you can barely fit a wallet into
@@Sevenninefine right sis ! Like its not adding up 😩
Well since the pandemic started it’s been ALOT of boosters I got mines for $120 and it’s the one like Nicki had
Or benzes ??
Yeah even the lipstick... 40€.... Ok yes I am really broke lol
The only responsibility you have with money is to use it to cover your needs and prepare for emergencies. Everything else is material.
Thanks for the extremely insightful video!
A year later and you still feel the pressure even with the whole quote on quote “ soft life”. I always felt it best to just live within your means, it’s okay to be simplistic. You don’t have to have the biggest house flashiest car and all these material possessions to feel good or accomplished. It’s nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself, but when we start downing others, or glorifying money and things that’s when it becomes an issue.
I also try not to look at ig stories of people I follow on ig. Because there lavish lifestyle has a tendency to influence me from spending which I will just regret later on. Thank you for this insight. And a great reminder that I was just doing the right thing by trying to be frugal.
I've definitely found myself saying the statements you mentioned when you were discussing hating on other people by showing my "concern". Deep down I could feel that what I was doing was wrong and I mostly said it because I wished I had their resources. I'm really ashamed of this behavior and I hate the fact that I can get so jealous.
Your point about being happy for other people really hit home. I'm learning to appreciate the good aspects of the content that I watch and stop watching people's pockets.
There is someone on my social media who is so desperate to convince people he’s rich, but he works with my mom and she makes literally three times his salary, and she’s not rich. It’s sad, honestly.
What a breath of fresh air to come across this. Did study psychology? Love the way you fused psychology in your video presentation. Keep it up.
When you really think about it it’s so sad that our generation prioritises showing off how well they’re doing on social media to majority of people who don’t know them or even care for them that over ensuring that they’re actually happy in real life
Facts! It’s so weird! Most people don’t even know 99.9% of the people they follow and making announcements
I just stumbled on your channel and you're absolutely right. Our generation has got use to the idea of splurging and living luxury 24/7. The wants and materialistic influence has now unweighted the human necessity. And the pressure out there especially Instagram now affected the way we build relationships or live the REALITY in general. There's lots to say and work out cause this ""fake it to make it"" is digging a never return hole for our future and the next generation to come. You've grabbed a new sub! God bless 🙌