Ted Cruz's COOLEST Moments (18 MINUTES!)
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- Опубликовано: 21 авг 2024
- Enjoy the best of Ted Cruz!
I had a bunch of Ted Cruz stuff that I never released, so I figured I'd make it all available now, compiled together with some of Mr. C's "greatest hits."
If you like my videos and want to support my work, check out my Patreon here: / vicberger 
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Ted Cruz is the kinda guy who microwaves fish in the office microwave.
ewww
And we all know that's a personality defect
With a side of broccoli and onions
This comment is underrated and under appreciated.
Damn, so fucking gross, if you know, you know
Watching his life is like tasting a 9-volt battery.
That's an eerily accurate description.
Tangy
Well done. That captures it perfectly
Seriously why do ppl keep voting for these morons?
@@blazeaglory Propaganda, and social pressure.
Jimmy Fallon interviewing Ted Cruz is the only TV program in hell.
With JF laughing at everything.
With the occasional commercial break, but it’s just jimmy fallon saying to Drake “you’re from Canada” over and over
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
If Christians let that be more widely known they'd have more converts 😐
I always assumed I'd be tormented by Billy Crystal in Hell but now I realise it'll be Ted doing his Billy impression.
You have to appreciate the fact that even his daughter thinks he's a loser.
Right? That family dinner was so awkward, Jesus christ 😳
She was hospitalized for self-harm
@@baxoutthebox5682 That's sad. Can't imagine it's easy being the daughter of one of US' most hated politician.
Stop glorifying *serial killers*
this one didn't watch
@@no_tread_ this one didn't get it hhuhuhuh
Casting Calumnies at Dahmer
Stop killing serial gloryholers
@@flyindevil Now that's a policy I can get behind.
Creepy to see him trying to approximate human behavior.
Its funny cause he thinks nobody notices. Lyin ted = flyin ted = alien head.
His every word, an internal monologue he's recited a thousand times in his suit and tie in front of a mirror.
Just normal person stuff.
Truly a disgusting, failed attempt at being human, it gives me the creeps. He’d be more accepted if he were to just come out and tell the public how he’s actually an older model of reptilian android that was sent to annoy and to disturb every living thing on planet earth, while pretending to be human, in which case we could then at least have some reasoning for the wacko-bird strangeness, robot software glitches, and his frog-like appearance, in turn confirming that he is in fact doing a fantastic job for his current work assignment.
I can't even immitate his death stare with the gun. It's so natural and fucking disturbing.
lughscanlan hi, did you know that the videos vic puts out are actually _edited_ ? i know, it took me months of strenuous research to figure that out too
Jimmy Fallon’s laugh is known to echo through the circles of Hell.
jimmy fallon's laugh is one of god's colors
Combined with the duck whistle.
He is the Night Jester
Thats unbelievable AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
wHaT aRe YOu GOnNa PLaY aT ThE REcitaL CArrol
The alien in disguise asked his fake human daughter
I’m dying laughing at that part
Carol isn't his. Sad.
He’s never had dinner with his family before
They probably dont even know who he is.. paied em 40$ each for the show
Is this my daddy?? Lol weird
That was genuinely funny. Painfully.
Not once
"dinner"
This video is seriously hard to watch
I had to take this video in small doses to avoid death
I'm coming back to finish it now in the new year. It was too much to complete in 2020
What kind of monster would want to avoid release from this neverending existence?
This feels like a bad acid trip.
I feel really bad for you if you have ever had an acid trip this bad
The family dinner actually made me nauseous.
EATYOURPORKANGEL
Dan you sound like a real dense dweeb
It’s all show and tell for the cameras.
Even his kids doesn’t seem to like him.
Wow! Good burn there, Saturn Jr 💩👻 gtfo and go watch some more infowars
dude no lie me too i had to skip that part
The part with Fallon continually pulling out the high school photo of Cruz and laughing is gold.
This documentary on the blobfish truly leads me to wonder what else lurks in the depths of the ocean.
Deep in the republican sea there are many miracles&horrors
You know, he's only that ugly when you bring him up to the surface. Under water he's still ugly. But less so because you can't see him because he's under the water.
Every time we dive deep enough, you inevitably see something no one's ever seen before.
this is almost like bad lip reading only that he really does say those awkward & weird things
best.comment.ever
That's totally true, I kept thinking it was dubbed several times through the video, but it's just Cruz being a huge fuckin' weirdo. Vic Berger's editing style also reminds me of the Eric Andre Show.
Bad lip reading is actually funny
Plus, THIS is actually funny.
@@blazeaglory The one of him and his wife from, I wanna say the '12 election, still gets me
I genuinely can't understand how you sit through what you have to to make these videos. Unsung hero.
Beef Supreme Vic is truly the savior of the modern era.
Dr Dre
He should be paid.
Why does he tell that story from Princess Bride as if he's the only one who's seen the movie?
Vice are you sure you didn't work for Tim and Eric ?
the way the eating is reversed so the food comes out instead of in at the dinner table is so subtly terrifying
Legend has it to this day he still doesn't know what Carol is going to play at the recital
He is still waiting to see where she got candy the from.
@@LRGDuran God that was an unbelievably thrilling cliffhanger 🤯
He is presumably a human, and still, he falls into the uncanny valley.
Something is wrong with Ted. Ted is a mess.
He's the zodiac killer. What do you expect?
shapeshifters are like that
Cause he’s different than you something is wrong with him?
@@kingsammy1105 Yes indeed. He's a deciple of the reptilian race sent out to study human behaviour. He made it to the news as the pseudonym "The Zodiac Killer" in the earlier days on this planet. His imitation is cunning but it couldn't fool me. Keep your eyes peeled for those pesky lizard people.
He looks like an embalmed corpse
"I like Ted Cruz a lot more than my colleagues do. And I hate Ted Cruz." -Al Franken
Man I miss Al Franken
Mattrick Swayze 🤣🤣🤣
@Józef Hofmann lol loon
Józef Hofmann You are sooo wrong about that. Al is fantastic. As a liberal, I understand his brilliance. I know a conservative would find him very intimidating. That is why they got rid of him.
The conservative way, can’t beat them, get rid of them. Can’t win an election because only 30% wants to vote for you, obstruct the vote and cheat until you win. I am pretty sure the 30% that will vote Republican are uneducated and/or have brain damage.
I agree that Ted is acting better but it’s hard for a tiger to change his stripes. Which one is the real Ted Cruz? I would not make a bet that after acting like a total jerk his whole life, he could suddenly change. He was hated in college. Do you know was his wife was arrested one night? She was sitting on a curb in her pajamas and totally drunk. Living with him must be a total nightmare. She must be heavily medicated to stay with him. One of the Republican Senators said that if Ted was shot on the Senate Floor, no one would be charged....
He is not a nice guy.
Goddamn lmao
The Princess Bride part reminded me of having to listen to a friend explain a plot to a movie you have no interest in ever watching yet you pretend like you care because you feel bad for him so you just awkwardly sit there desperately awaiting the moment when he stops talking.
You nailed it right there
I love how you find those awkward stumbles and pauses then inject a horn or crowd boos and cheers. You repeat certain bits of scenes and and make what is otherwise a mundane, stupid little moment and make it seem like thenmost surreal scene from some horror movie.
This the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched.
Rob Smith 😂😂😂
That white goop on his lips. 🤢
@@bstone5943 it was soo gross
Check out his other videos....theyre like bad nightmares.
Jay Leno impression is some High cringe
Jeb is a mess.
JEB is a WASTE
Jeb is a big fat mistake.
I heard he pulled his pants down and MOONED EVERYBODY
Jeb is a WASTE.
You’re profile pic tho
I really descended into the seventh layer of hell with this one
Abandon all hope indeeeeeed
Dante would be proud. Repent
Critics are calling it "unflinchingly difficult to watch yet impossible to look away"
Siskel and Ebert give 2 thumbs and say "Ted Cruz is a serial killer, what part of that do you not understand?"
Hating Ted is the last thing left that both parties agree on. I'm about 90% sure that even ppl who vote for him hate him. It must just be name recognition lol
@Train Boxing at Home - Ty Thomas through the 90s and until idk maybe trump I always remember likeability touted as the number 1 factor in most voters choices. Bill Clinton for example everyone knew he was the poor man's Harvey wientstien but he seemed like a better guy to have a beer with than Ross Perot or the viagra guy with the bad hand. Idk maybe even trump , tho no one would ever allow their daughter alone with him, would be a mucher more fun guy to drink with than Hillary obviously.
@Train Boxing at Home - Ty Thomas you know what maybe that's the whole key, ppl that talk about detailed policy, governing on logical social programs blah blah blah just seem like either just non drinkers or too "thinky". Morals and intelligence don't matter the threshold seems infinite in my short lifetime. It's all just who would the public rather get drunk with.
Baf Lange trump says he’s never drank in his life
He’s the reason I can’t take Texans seriously
Vic Berger delivers on ethnic lines, on religious lines, on gender lines and socioeconomic lines.
Vic 4 prez!
@@jesse2744 Stolen?
Edit: Wait I notice you mentioned he stole this content in another comment replying to someone else. If you're referring to Super Deluxe, that was also Vic. He was the one that created all this content for Super Deluxe but doesn't work with them any more so has posted it to his own channel.
@@jesse2744 No that's not right - sorry, I edited my comment so you might have missed this point but it was created in 2016 by Vic for a channel called Super Deluxe. If people aren't aware of that then sure it might look like an uncredited repost but nope, Vic is the daddy of all these delicious Lyin' Ted memes.
Angelo Stevens, what or who is the far left?
People who doesn’t agree with dRumpf??
Something is very off about this creep. He would make a dog uncomfortable.
Definitely. Like the kind of guy who should probably get his hard drive checked by the FBI.
He made his dog uncomfortable leaving it alone fleeing to Cancun as Texas froze and their people died.
When cruz ate the white thing on his lip i legit almost vomited.
It's called a 'tonsil stone' and yeah that sh!t made me nauseous too
I came for the air horns
Chefe Jamon there just wasn’t enuf..
More air horns pls
It’s actually sad to see how hated he is by his own family members. His daughter seems repulsed by him. Ew.
can u blame her
She acts like a victim of abuse. Its so unsettling, and its not just in one or 2 clips. She could just be a liberal though.
@M Pulverman You should see the video of him hugging her and she's shouting "ow you're hurting me! OWWWWW", when he was barely touching her. Gives me the creeps tbh. That's not normal behavior for a kid, no matter how hard he works.
@@maxcarren112 The guy is CREEPY! He gives me ped vibes. Not calling him that, since I have no proof that he is. Just saying I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL if in the future he got caught with CP material.
the airhorns sprinkled throughout the video were the only comforts i had while everything else was uncomfortable anguish
When he's talking to his mother about her praying with him for hours each day and she rolls her eyes.
He said ‘Vic, if you like your job, you can keep it.’
Never trust a man who uses the same joke
Never trust a man who steals and repeats the same joke over and over again.
So i called Obama the other day...
This is just solid advice.
SoAHH
So never trust Ben Shapiro then to
That first "Lyin' Ted" gets me every time.
Back on my bullsht
Jesus h christ, that dinner scene is the stuff of nightmares.
He is two times cooler now with his beard. But two times zero...
Nah Theodore leveled up
@Nate Williams Well, yeah. What else?
@Nate Williams If you’re partisan enough to say Ted Cruz is cool that’s sad
He is cooler now
That’s exactly why he grew it. Because at least a few brainless neanderthals like yourself would think he’s cool with it
Women want him
And men want to be him
Women want him... dead.
alt-right Smasher, Crack is wack!
Men want to be in him.
That's Austin Powers, not Ted Cruz. Lolol
That white chunk is turning my stomach. It's gross but hilarious.
@What's happening the left over remnants of trump's curdled jizz 🤮
What's happening in seriousness... it’s a tonsil stone right?
@@madtonesbr That's what I thought. Disgusting...
I was getting changed for a karate tournament when I was like 8 and this kid lifted his arm up and some white chunk dropped out but he smelled so bad I could smell him from 12 ft away and I almost puked
Its a snot.
I am loving this. I can't stop watching the part where 5 Cruz's tell the same Obama joke directly ripped off from Leno. That dude got issues.
This zodiac killer documentary was very informative.
Did Ted really compare him self to Gollum and the Constitution to the ring? 0:20 I am not a native speaker. I just want to be sure.
He really did, unfortunately
Yes
I don't think that's a bad thing haha As cringe as it was, cherishing the Constitution is a great thing, especially now with "Democratic Socialists" trying to transform our entire system.
@@AuraysTimelessChannel you clearly don't understand the story of Gollum.
@@JimJamTheAdmin But it Isn't real.....My main concern is those people trying to change America not understanding what the Constitution does for us and why we need to defend it and cherish it. Many young Dem. Socialists don't respect our founding documents or our way of life. Some outright despise it. I'm much more worried about that than the comparison of Cruz and Gollum doesn't work perfectly 😂 It's not real.
Whenever i run out of acid i just come watch Vic Berger videos to keep my trip going
Jay Leno doing Jay Leno style "comedy" is bad enough, but my goodness Ted.... have you no shame?
No... no he doesn't.
What a beautiful avant gard film,chronicaling a mans descent into madness only to realize that he him self is his own madness,a man against the world who looks deeper into him self and realizes why he is the enemy of the world, because he himself is his own enemy,he is the villain,he has been his own undoing his own hubris is his downfall. What must cruz do? Will he continue his facade of being a man of the people? Or will he open himself to destroy himself for the betterment of man kind?
Also he look like kevin from the office lmao
limpydick lenny 😂😂😂😂😂
LMAO
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
Why does he reenact Jay Leno and princess bride so much?
film79 it’s cuz he can do those stupid voices lol
Because isn't that what humans do??
No.
It's what men of the people do
Because his staffers told him he'd be more human if he did it. Pray for the people who are hired to make Ted Cruz seem human.
This is bad, but holy sheet Jimmy Fallon is awful
This man is definitely the zodiac killer
This is upsetting on, like, some kind of fundamental lizard-brain level
Seriously. Repeating that crap Jay Leno joke just identically each time... that IS NOT HUMAN BEHAVIOR. I don't believe in any shapeshifting Reptilian conspiracies but... he doesn't make it easy.
It’s like Pinocchio got to be a real boy but had no idea how to do real boy things.
I've never heard a more accurate description of cruz
Pinocchio would never be this awkward, debased, or devoid of character.
10/10
You win the internet for today.
He only did zodiac things
his daughter doesn't even look at him. That's sad. Even today she detests him.
Really?
If only Carol had told him what she was gonna play at the recital. This all might have been avoided
A great highlight reel of the Zodiac Killer's best!
This video makes me feel like I need to brush my teeth.
I never thought someone could actually ruin The Princess Bride for me.
The rice stuck on Ted's lip probably was from Jim Bakker's food bucket
If the rest of the 17 minutes is like the first 6 seconds, I'm watching this on a repeating loop.
LYING Monster RAM ...... lying monster RAM
Monster RAM candy??? At school??????
Seeing full-grown adults inflicting that Jesus junk on their young and impressionable kids is just profoundly depressing.
Unbelievable that a human looks like that. Really crazy.
Riiight...human
The editing is spectacular and wildly unnerving.
Your content makes my depression just melt away
LET'S STOP FIGHTING
This little guy is a waste
Ted Cruz paints himself out to be a virile Texas cowboy, a man of principle, but in reality he comes across as a creepy, closeted sidekick of a Hitchcock villain. And lay off the guyliner.
He’s got big Peter Lorre energy
@@wmwinterbottom
EXACTLY!
Lay off the guyliner... 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂.....🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣. Oh my....!
So basically what you’re saying is he’s trying hard to be what Texans wish they were and worked hard to make people believe they are, but he’s actually what texans truly are, which is pathetic weaklings
Christ I could barely stand watching them have dinner together
To be fair, though, Ted Cruz has totally changed since this. He’s now a really honest guy who’s a great dad. Sometimes _too_ great, though, as he got into a bit of hot water a few days ago, just for being the World’s Best Dad®️, and taking his daughters to Cancun (and himself, but only because he’s a great dad and wanted to make sure they got there ok, before he came straight back) in the midst of one of the worst crises his state has ever faced. What a great dad.
100 years from now we will look back at these videos and treasure them for the masterpieces that they are.
Tiny Vienna sausages dribbling down your chin. That's how you bond a family.
EATYOURPORKANGEL
The trick is to use Tarzan's Grip instead of cheese...
Legend has it, Ted still doesn't know what Carol is playing at the recital.
The random air horns get me everytime.
Hahaha love em
How many hours do you think Rafael has spent in front of a mirror practicing his stand-up routine?
Too many, and yet not enough.
Well I just failed no nut November, thanks Vic
Big yikeeees
@@sp-mm2wr Word! Can only you and I feel the cringe?
🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
Underrated comment
Can we talk about Marco Rubio’s earlobes? Why are they so long?
8:20 was truly disturbing
Watching this makes me feel bad.
well hopefully it doesn't make you feel bad for him, cause he doesn't deserve to be felt bad for.
the family dinner part is so unsettling
Why does he fully suck the dressing from a leaf of salad, put it back in his bowl, then talk to his daughter at 0:55? 😂 idek think I'll be able to consume lettuce again after this
@@braedenarchambault9687 it's a rewind
It's as creepy as I'd imagine it might be
@@karanSharma-wf6uu @karan Sharma omg thank you, I can finally sleep again 😂 I don't think I realized this was a Vic video when I commented either or else I may have suspected some tomfoolery 😭
This dude makes the word awkward feel awkward.
So uhhh, the other day president Obama called me - he said, “Jay, if you like your job you can keep it!”
My heart truly hurts for his little girls. 😞
Imagine the shit they get just for being related to him.
One day they will have they will have the uncontrollable urge to kill, and they won’t understand why.
This is the Cruz curse
But seriously, we really have to ask why was it so awkward? Why do his kids not respect him? And why doesn't he already know what instrument his daughter is playing?
D Harlo he was asking what piece of music
j mula wow😂😂
why is he so moist looking all of the time?
You win
He's half amphibian
Lmao, that word kept appearing in my head.
Plump reptilian. Likely eats lots of fatty smoked meats.
You think thats moist look up Trey Goudy. I swear that dude sweats vasalene
The airhorns. Such a fantastic touch. Vic is a master.
I love so much that you cut together him telling the same stories and jokes for years.. truly exposes how psychotically incapable of reaching out to other humans Ted is
I still can't believe there are people who actually like Ted Cruz
And even worse, there are 4 million people in texas who thought to themselves "Yup, that's the guy who should represent me and make extremely important decisions for me and my state."
@Alexander Scott You're right, I responded harsher than I should have. I've just been defensive since this Cruz shit, the people in my town keep using him as an excuse to spread their own propaganda and it's getting annoying. I guess I'm just stuck in the 'Me vs. Them' mindset. My apologies.
Proves that democracy really isn't that great
There’s few enough of them that he has to use all sorts of shady tactics to keep getting re-elected to the Senate
Voting for Ted Cruz has helped the state of Texas achieve it's current success. Now that the left has destroyed some of Americas finest cities, they are moving to Texas. Notice how all of these people offer us cheap insults but never anything of substance. When it's time to eat lunch they don't have any so they just move to where you are and start eating.
resting winceface
resting wimpface
Shut up
How was Cancun? Lyin Ted...
The comment-string editing during the “Little Marco” segment is worthy of an Oscar.
HE SAID JAY!
Give this guy an Adultswim show already
i agree. Ted Cruz on AS would be great
That dinner scene could be played over and over for two hours and it would be one of the best or worst horror films of all time.
Ted Cruz the type to close the fridge door with his hip
The Carly Fiorina scenes broke me. Lmao
SOOOOO UHHHHHH PRESIDENT OBÀÀMAH CALLED ME. . . . . .. .
HE SAID JAY
you wanna keep your job
U CAN KEEEAP IT
I don't think he realizes that when he tells his "jokes" they aren't laughing with him, but at him..
*AIRHORN*
The middle of this (7:55 - 9:30) is like an unreleased RESIDENTS single, and better than their last 35 albums
These videos literally make me question existence very heavily
My favorite thing is the reverse salad-eating. God Bless Vic Berger and all he has done for the nation.
Thanks, I hate it.
Now I'm convinced that he is in fact, the zodiac killer.
I love taking my Ambien and watching Vic Berger while making pottery
That white orb makes me queezy
@Alexander Scott thought it was tonsil stones
It should, it's his activation switch that turns him from human to lizard
😭