@@Tristan10px He doesn't need to do that anymore, RUclips change the files he can say asshole and still monetize the video, the only way for him to lose that privilege is if he put "asshole" in the title of the video, besides that he can say anything he want and after 7 second he can drop the F-bomb, this are the new rules on RUclips.
Zara's meltdown sounds like a trigger. She might be going through some really difficult moment and the candles were the last straw. She probably needs help
The Zara story is even worse!. The "slight issue" Zara had been having, was "a brother of a friend" had recently passed. And then it was pried out of the OP in the comments. Turns out it wasnt just a friend's brother. It was HER BOYFRIEND WHO HAD JUST PROPOSED. She was going to say yes. So she was upset that her fiance just died, and this wasnt about cake or candles. It was Zara being overwhelmed, and this was the last straw. And as usual, when OP leaves out vital information, it's usually information that sways it from inconclusive to absolute AH.
@@Tustin2121 yeah, all the comments were "there's something more, bc clearly zara's reaction wasnt normal" and then OP admitted about her fiance and how she was going to accept. And they were getting roasted over the coals. I do wish Zara the best and hopefully she can heal from her loss away from her toxic parents.
It doesn't change one bit An adult throwing a tantrum over a 5 year old kid blowing candles is pathetic, no matter the circustance. I could understand being emotional and doing it in the moment, but to keep pouting is unexcusable. And to be clear, I know what she's going through, my wife died when I was a 26 years old.
As someone who gets nauseous at the smell of certain foods, I would never ask someone to not make that food, I just open a window or go outside for a bit until they’re done
Which is very reasonable however you are a considerate person unlike the girl in this story who is completely entitled. Seems like they hoped to chase OP out of the apartment. I was surprised OP didn’t informed the landlord of the full time guest that may be in violation of the rental agreement
Yeah, its one thing if she had a severe allergy and op was just cross contaminating everything left and right. However this just a case of a sensitive sense of smell and expecting everyone to cater to you. Asking people to be conscious of cross contamination because it could hospitalize you is reasonable, trying to dictate what your boyfriends roommate is allowed to eat because the smell is too much for you is not reasonable. As someone with other sensitivities, most people like you and me understand that it's not other people's responsibility. Like I have an issue with anemia and low blood pressure so I get cold very easily, I'm not going to tell people that they need to keep their houses at 80°F and sweat all day for me so I'm comfortable, I'm going to bring a hoodie and deal with the cold hands.
Regardless of how old Zara was, the 5-year-old should have long since been taught not to blow out someone else's birthday candles. "She didn't know any better" isn't an excuse, it's an admission of guilt.
I'm Autistic and smells are one of the things that affect me most, some just straight up make me sick. But the way around that is: not being around the smell or covering it up. If she wasn't over constantly it'd be one thing to ask "Hey can you tone down the food smells while I'm here." But if she's gonna be there she's gotta find ways to deal with it. Personally I have a bottle of perfume I enjoy to cover smells I don't like (it's strawberry pound cake, it smells amazing)
Damn i assume that smells amazing, personally there’s this peach air freshener that i like but my parents don’t really like the smell because its a girly and sweet smell 😅
@@lorilancaster5917 They live together right? The responsibility would fall on her eventually, but that doesn't matter because that is the point, what we have here is a 12 year girl that is seeing her world crawling down, what the OP what to show her the middle finger, Matt is the only person that Elena can lend on what the OP what him not to do that, in other words when Elena need it Matt the most he just kind of vanish.
In the last story, Zara's "difficult time" was that her friend's brother, who was about to propose to her, ended his own life. This makes the whole candle fiasco so much worse, and OP's score should be cranked up to 4/5 for not only being dismissive of her daughter's feelings, but also conveniently putting that very relevant piece of information in a comment, rather than the main post.
It doesn't change one bit An adult throwing a tantrum over a 5 year old kid blowing candles is pathetic, no matter the circustance. I could understand being emotional and doing it in the moment, but to keep pouting is unexcusable. And to be clear, I know what she's going through, my wife died as I adminstered CPR when I was a 26 years old.
@@herrerasauro7429 it's not about the candles though. everything was for her, and for a lot of people the smallest thing can break them when they're already vulnerable. in this case it was the candles
@@herrerasauro7429 it wasn’t about the candles. It was all the emotions coming crashing down to her in that moment. You really don’t see it and you claim to know how she feels. Do you really?
@@herrerasauro7429 imagine havin gone through a traumatic situation and still managing to be so unempathetic to other people, i'm sorry to hear about your wife but the way you handle your situation isn't the same as everyone else's besides, even if she wasn't goin through something, it's totally reasonable to be ticked off that some spoiled little brat blew out the candles on your cake on _your_ birthday and everyone sided with them
Story 2: Glad that Malcolm wouldn't have to worry about expenses in caring for Elena. The mom's life insurance policy thing and the account to help care for Elena is, honestly, more than I expected. A mother's love, right there, making sure her daughter is well-cared for with someone she trusts even after she's gone.
For the last story, there's a lot more to it. "We don't normally do big parties in our family after double digits (and 18th/21st), but Zara has been going through a bit of a difficult time so we decided to throw her a surprise party." In the comments, OP clarified that Zara's friend's brother died. But that's not all, he had apparently proposed to Zara and she told him she needed time to think and would give him an answer later. But, he died before she could do so. She's actively GRIEVING for someone who DIED, and OP apparently doesn't see why their daughter blew up like that about a 5 y/o blowing out her candles. OP is a huge AH for not comforting her daughter, and instead berating her for not acting "mature". Dude, Zara's boyfriend who proposed to her DIED. Did you think that wasn't relevant enough to mention in the post?! Edit: It was the father who made the post, not the mother.
Ok since I have that info the dad is a fucking ass hole. The mom of the 5 year is fine I’m sure if everything was different if her boyfriend was alive she wouldn’t had cared. Idk the time line between of her boyfriend passing and the birthday party. But it seems close apart. I think it was a lot for her. And her dad was being a ass hole instead of comforting her, he insults her.
Last story.... Its not about the candles. Shes going through a rough time, the party was for her, therefore the cake/candles are for her. Doesnt matter how old she is. A lot of time, for people who are struggling, the smallest thing can break them. For Zara, it was the birthday candles.
@@joannamyers1268 - The commenters had to drag it out of the OP, and OP finally said this in a comment and got raked hard over the coals for leaving out that detail.
@@joannamyers1268 - That’s cause OP dragged it out over a few comments. first comment: “one of her friend’s older brother recently passed” then in a later comment in the same thread: “I know they were friends but I thought it was just that, and it wasn’t serious. I found out later that he had apparently proposed to Zara and she was going to say yes. But she needed time to think about it. No one bothered to let me know and it just seemed like a big drama.” Trying to find confirmation on the self-termination bit. Maybe that’s something other commenters misinterpreted. Edit: Yeah, unddit isn’t giving me any comments that OP removed, I think someone extrapolated a little too hard.
Oh geez, poor Zara, she lost her soul mate and had her birthday ruined [not gonna blame the kid entirely but the aunt needed to keep an eye on her kid as 5 isn't an age where one can fight impulse control] OP is definitely the A hole and a heartless bitch.
So in the last story, Zara is going through a hard time because her almost fiancée died unexpectedly recently. He died before she could say yes, since ahe asked for time to think. So yeah, Zara is going through way more than "a bit of a difficult time"
That changes it from ESH (because candles? That's the hill y'all want to die on?) to YTA (never kick a man while he's down) Random request: Can you post the link for this? Sorry if you don't want to or lost the link or something.
Birthday candles story: who else bets that Zara doesn’t get to blow any of her candles out on any of her birthdays after her siblings were brought into the picture. It probably triggered so many memories of stolen birthday wishes EDIT: just read through the comments and saw that it was really about how the “rough time” was about her boyfriend who was going to propose to her passed on. The mother conveniently left this part of the story out to make her look like she wasn’t an A-Hole. Honestly, how does one yell at a person and telling them they are basically acting like a child for showing emotion after their boyfriend died and then forget to mention it when writing the story online?
Story 2: YTA; the only thing rSlash missed about OP's problems was the clear projection and entitlement in her views, that she feels 22 is too young to have kids and it's selfish to ask someone to completely change their life like the BF is willing to do for his half sister.
Also she talked to him about it in private and even made it clear she didn't really agree with the guardian thing, If he actually didn't want to do it felt pressure that was the perfect time to express it. But he didn't meaning he fully wanted to take up this responsibility. Who is op to go behind his back and berate a dying woman?
@@suitdoggy4707 I don't know where you're getting the idea that OP was 'berating' the woman. All she did was point out to her how the matter would affect Malcolm's life too, not just the kid's, and suggest other options. That's in no way 'berating' anyone.
It’s wrong to ask someone to make big decisions like asking your adopted son to take care of his sister. It’s a good idea OP tried to ask her boyfriend to make a big decision like abandoning his sister
Iim positive if Sandra had ANY OTHER OPTION, she’d take it. I don’t think Sandra wants to put the responsibility of a child on Malcom either, but it’s her literal only option.
I'm 22 and I couldn't even IMAGINE being a parent. However, if I had a half sister and her mother asked me to take care of her and had provided means, like Sandra providing the account, I would certainly try. Malcolm taking in Elena is incredible. Good brother, good person. OP is a selfish AH. Wow Ah!
Malcolm is stepping up. No one wanted to be in that situation especially Sandra. OP isn’t hindered by the situation and should just shut up and step aside. Like out of their lives aside.
If he wants to tie his life down for minimum 6 years, it is his choice. You do not like it, then walk away and do not try to make choices for him. 6 months together and trying to make life choices for him, big red flag.
And this will always be remembered as the episode in which rslash didn’t realize that AH means “bad guy“ - it being an AITA episode is pure perfection 😂
I can already imagine rSlash's editor dying in his chair from laughter and keeping the whole "wow AH" part in, knowing full well that AH was asshole lmao
@@shaereub4450 In some videos he's mentioned having an editor. I think specifically on videos to do with malicious compliance around bad bosses. Like there was a comparison of what he does vs what a lot of bosses do when it comes to paying employees
Last Story: The fact that Zara was filled with enough anger and sadness to begin crying tells me that this wasn't the first time someone else was allowed to blow out her candles. This could just be an assumption though
It’s actually worse than that. Turns out the “tough times” Zara was going through, the details of which OP conveniently left out which was eventually squeezed out of her in the comments, was that her boyfriend, who would have been her fiancé as he was just about to propose to her, recently died. And even worse, OP at first didn’t say boyfriend or fiancé until commenters pushed her further. She said “friend’s brother.” She was trying to downplay it the entire time because she knew people would vote against her otherwise.
@@amandahealey2216 Also havent parents taught child dont blow candles on birthday thats not yours and um hello rona isnt a thing anymore or other illnesses?
As someone with all my senses severely overtuned, especially touch and smell, I get where the sensitive girlfriend is coming from. Sometimes it can get to you on a visceral level. Sometimes it's even on an irrational level, like how misophonia can lead to irrational outbursts. That's why when I'm in a situation that is far too stimulating, I let my partner know, and then I leave for a bit. I go and find somewhere to calm down and then come back when I feel better until I get adjusted. What I don't do is demand other people accommodate me unless it's absolutely necessary, and even then I will politely make a request for a small adjustment. She needs to realize this is HER disorder. This is her problem, not everyone else's. If she was on the lease, she would have the right to an opinion, but not the right to force another roommate to not enjoy their harmless hobbies.
@@healingthroughchrist1988 that might just be ignorance. There is a lot of new research about sensory sensitivity every day, and people can experience it in some pretty unique ways. Even still, Sarah doesn't pay rent so she has no right to DEMAND that OP stops cooking favorite foods. She can ask for a REASONABLE accommodation, like if she wants to be warned when certain foods are being cooked so she can leave the apartment for that time. Stop cooking food is NOT reasonable. It's just outrageous.
Five is old enough to know not to blow out the candles to someone else’s cake. If I remember correctly, Zara lost a loved one to suicide among other things. OP blew up at the wrong person. Side note: couldn’t they have just relit the candles and pull the kids aside? Wait that would involve caring about Zara
@@stormwright8300 OK, that changes the entire tone of the story. 23 is a little old to make a huge deal about some candles...it's not if you're in an emotionally fragile state to begin with. Yeah, Zara's mother is a complete AH here and I'd actually adjust the score up a little more knowing that.
@@BronzeDragon133 The post was made by the father, he mentioned in the comments that his wife ran after Zara. Unless they're both lesbian mothers, then I'm assuming the post was made by the father.
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 "Well for one it's dumb and 2 you can't just throw a commitment like that to someone" and that justifies undermining someone's personal choice? you ain't fooling anyone op
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 it sounds like he wanted to. 22 years old is young, sure, but he's still a legal adult and can make his own decisions. It's not dumb.
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 She made a request. He's adult at perfect liberty to decline. He made his decision and his GF thinks she has standing to object.
Story 3: As someone with GI issues that can be triggered by the smell of certain foods, you DON'T get to just up and move into someone's place and dictate the kitchen! That's a whole conversation you have BEFORE you move in! I don't expect people IN THEIR HOME to change their dietary habits to just accommodate me. The most you can really ask for in that situation is a heads up so you can keep yourself safe.
This! I could maybe understand if it was like 1 or 2 things and she was trying to negotiate times to cook those things, or for a rough idea of when OP would be cooking so she could vacate. It's not like she's there 2 hrs a day and he waits until she arrives to cook things to make her sick. When is OP even supposed to cook if she's there most of the time?
@@zt_g If it was like balchao (specifically prawn), or durian or Fermented shrimp paste. I would get it. Those things smell very strong and linger. But, this is beyond what is reasonable to even ask.
Story 4 has an UPDATE: OP left out some MAJOR information. Apparently Zara was going through a rough time because her FIANCÉ had died!! OP is such a horrible parent!!!
For the last story, as someone who hasn't had a birthday party since 11 and being 23 myself. I fully understand why she got upset. I haven't had cake, haven't had a present, I just go out with a couple friends to drink/eat, if not I drink alone and respond to the usual "Happy Birthday!" messages. If someone threw a surprise party for me and someone else blew the candles, I would too get kinda upset about it.
Based what some of the other commenters have said, the reddit threat managed to squeeze out information from OP that she was conveniently withholding. Apparently, the 'tough times' she was going through was her fiance to be literally died and she was suffering extreme grief alongside everything else. The candles basically broke the camels back kinda deal.
Story 3: I have gastroparesis. My stomach is eight kinds of messed up and plenty of stuff makes me nauseous even by the smell and the AUDACITY of this woman to insist that everyone around her has to abide to her “needs” makes me enraged. If someone was cooking something that made me nauseous, I’d ask for about how long it would take then go for a walk or something. I might compromise with them and ask them not to cook anything that would take too long (there are dishes that take 4 hours to cook, after all) or if it was a daily occurrence ask if we could set a schedule so I could know when to be gone, but never in my life would I do what this woman did. Edited to correct story number
Agreed! I have chronic migraines and cyclical vomit syndrome, I just take anti-nausea tablets it the situation gets too dicey for my stomach. You don't ask the masses to adapt for the few 🤷
When I and a majority of my cousins were really young we witnessed a cousin get spanked for blowing out his sister's candles when he wasn't supposed to. It led to us knowing that the unwritten rule is that you don't blow out birthday candles unless it's your own. Op should have told the neice the SHE was the brat and not Zara. Op is a lousy parent. Blowing out someone's birthday candles is beyond rude.
@@horseluver4ever623 you're statement is contradicting. You say she's old enough to know but then say it's lazy parenting. And 5 is s till very young. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of a party at that age. I just think that passing judgment on a 5 year old is harsh. The mom, yes.
@@horseluver4ever623 Since her mom didn't see an issue with her blowing out the candles, it's safe to say that she hadn't been taught so we can't blame her.
Lmao at the last story. Imagine getting punched in the face, being shocked at the person for punching you, and then they get offended by your reaction.
@@radhiadeedou8286 She wasn’t crying because of the candles. She was on the brink of crying any given minute because her fiancé died, so any small thing can be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
@@radhiadeedou8286 ok, imagine your mother dies. You go out to dinner to try to cheer yourself up and distract from the death. And a random 5 year old spits in your food. Do you not see that her reaction is bc of literally everything else going on? All she did was cry and leave when shes already having a hard time.
Second story: And not only that, OP made it sound like Malcom was pushed into taking care of Sandra. I'm certain his stepmom had a discussion with him about his, knowing that he is young and having to change his life to take care of a child and making sure he wasn't pushed into it. And he still said yes. So it's his choice and he knew what he was doing.
The birthday candle story is so much worse. She was grieving because a friend died and that friend apparently was gonna be a future fiance. He proposed and then died and this birthday thing was the last straw. The OP is fighting for his life on Reddit trying to justify his actions. He claims he knows he's an asshole then says something after that shows he doesn't believe he is. I feel so bad for that girl.
Story 1: After her husband cased a scene like that I wouldn't go anywhere near them so I get why you didn't help. I understand why he got mad because they don't know you but still.
As the commenter said I would be mad at first. However they still got mad and defensive even after OP and the neighbors explained everything. They chose to alienate themselves.
@@dracko158 and she expects the fact that she has kids it would absolve her of the actions she and her husband displayed before. A boundary was set for OP. He’s only adhering to a neighborly request
I can’t stop laughing about that whole “Wow AH”-thing and Rslash not realizing that it means asshole. The more he says “AH” the more I have to laugh 😂 (not in a mean way)
I'm suspicious about the fact that the mother of the niece said "I didn't think Zara would act like this!" That, to me at least, kinda sounds like the mother either told her child to do that, encouraged her to do it, or didn't discourage her from doing if the girl said she was gonna do it.
As we learned, Zara lost her fiance to self-termination, so...Zara's incredibly emotionally fragile right now, too. If Aunt X did do this, she's being incredibly abusive.
@@Tustin2121 Yeah, it's shades of my own childhood and I'm havin' flashbacks... Normally at 23 I wouldn't expect that behavior. Given recent events, she's actually being downright restrained and functional, poor thing.
@@BronzeDragon133 - I went and looked over OP’s comments on Reddit and undelete Reddit, and I can’t find a source on the self-termination bit. Where did that come from?
As someone who also gets really nausea smelling any food I Don't like, I have never told anyone to not cook it, I simply just tell them to not let the food touch me. The gagging sucks but honestly it goes away in 10 minutes and isn't so bad
Story 3: I also dont like certain food smells. But instead of forbidding roommates to cook those foods I would ask Them to please use the Kitchenextractorhood or open the Windows afterwards
To be fair they are in a relationship. 6 months or 6 years doesn't matter, they are partners. He should either ask her opinion first or break up with her, not make potentially life changing decisions for her.
Umm... Of course he should've consult her. He's taking up a kid to care for. Don't you think it affects them both in a major way? I'd be pissed if my SO just decided to adopt a child without speaking to me first. Either break up or work the issue TOGETHER.
Eh, I think that was the only part where I was on her side. Obviously the boyfriend can make his own choice, but he should have still sat her down and told her
@@rollochairbreaker2306 months or years does matter. Or rather relationship status. If they aren't living together, not in in the planning to move in stage, no marriage talk then no he doesn't need to consult her after only 6 months. He needs to inform her, which he did. Then she can decide if she wants to continue. Basically if their lives are not joined in any significant way her wishes are of no relevance here.
I know! In a way, it's nice to see that even the jaded Rslash, the guy that talks about how much he's read in most episodes had this hilarious moment of innocence.
Rslash is taking monetization very seriously, the demonized word in the title of this sub reddit is completely gone from his brain now. Very respectable work.
Story 3: okay so Sarah doesn’t live there, she doesn’t pay rent and she doesn’t pay any bills yet she think she’s entitled to say what another person can or can’t cook in their home. NTA if Matt is so concerned about Sarah then both of them can either go and stay at her place or get an apartment together to do what they wish. It’s OP’s home and he can do whatever he wants in his home.
I’m the same as the gf in the cooking story, I can’t help but vomit when I try new things and I barely eat when I go out bc I don’t like the way certain foods are prepped. The gf should NOT live in that apartment if she can’t handle those things. Especially when she doesn’t pay rent, she doesn’t get to make requests. I understand how hard it is for her but seriously, why is she still in this apartment if it’s so toxic???
Story 2: OP didn't actually screw up. She showed her true colors quickly to her STBX so he could make better decisions BEFORE he invested too much of his heart into their relationship. OP needs to grow up and stop being so narcissistic and self-absorbed. If she got pregnant with her BF's baby she would expect him to step up even at his tender age of 22. She just didn't like that he was gaining a child that was not HERS. Good thing she revealed her true nature now so she could be kicked to the curb before causing emotional distress to her STBX's family. But OP is definitely TA.
The op in the last one needs a way harsher score. When looking in the comments, op says Zara is having a tough time because a friend of hers died, and after ppl pried further, they said that friend PROPOSED to her! There is no way op can’t be the a-hole when they called their daughter a brat for crying when her fiancé died
Last story: If your 5-year old doesn't know better than to blow out someone else's candles, you've screwed up as a parent. If I'd have pulled that move, even at three, my mother would have, to use a Southern phrase, "jerked a knot in my tail." Even though we raised our kids a little differently, they would have been immediately taken to a private place, had it explained to them, and been punished. Also, I, as the parent, would have immediately offered an apology and made my child apologize later. This isn't even strict or a big deal. You just take the child aside, explain, give them some time away from the party, and apologize.
As someone who also throws up at the smell of certain foods. I would NEVER go to someone else’s home and tell them they can’t cook cause I’m there. I’m choosing to be there. It’s not my home. If she doesnt like it she can go to her house
Story 4: It's Zara's birthday, Zara blows out the candles, nobody else. My parents blow out their candles! I don't really know if the 5 yr old deserves a score because they're 5, but OP definitely gets a high one for siding with the kid and hand waving Zara's complaints
@@mhammer3186 It wasn't the cake, it was the straw that broke the camels back. OP later specifies that Zara's Fiance had 'self-ended' recently. Big thing to leave out.
@@mhammer3186 I'm over 50, and would be hurt if anybody else than me blew my birthday candles. It's not about age, but respect. A 5 year old should be old enough to understand the difference between mine and yours. And it was NOT her cake, or birthday. My guess is that she is a spoiled brat, and never hear the word no.
On the second story, about the mom dying from cancer, 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬. 5/5 Bholes! I have a younger brother, about the same age gap as the half siblings. When I was 22, and we were planning if anything happened to my parents, I wanted custody of my brother, and asked that I be considered. Nothing happened, but here is my thinking: I understand what my brother is going through, because I also would’ve just lost my parents. Would I need help, without a doubt. However, we would have each other to lean on and not be alone. If I had been dating someone, who didn’t support that, END of RELATIONSHIP! The GF is toxic and selfish, and needs to be removed from the situation, permanently. I am angry for the boyfriend. He needs to dump her, and find someone who actually deserves his kind heart, and willingness to take his little sister.
With the cancer story, I can *understand* op being upset that Malcolm didn't discuss the situation with her first but she still shouldn't have said all that
Tbh if I was six months in with someone and an emergency like this happened I wouldn’t discuss it with them either. I would inform them about the changes in my life but my decisions in a relationship that early on are not up for debate.
@@cuteandspookycritters8691 I'm leaning more towards telling her to give her the chance to either stick around and help or leave with no hard feelings. But that's just how I think
Nah man, Birthdays are sacred. This poor girl was really going through the shitter and they couldnt control their baby for TWO MINUTES while she had her moment? A moment she could feel supported by all who supposedly love her, and make her a priority for ONE day. That alone is just a horrible betrayal.
5 years old is old enough to know not to blow out someone else's birthday candles. Zara is having a hard time and a selfish child just ruined the one thing that was supposed to cheer her up. Of course she's gonna be upset.
Story 2: Plus we‘re talking about a 12yo, not a Newborn or toddler. She isn’t going to occupy his whole life, he doesn’t need to quit his job or dismiss his education. He can still go out some nights. A 12yo is fairly independent most times, so it‘s absolutely not too much to ask from a 22yo family member, especially regarding the circumstances.
Depends. He still has the right to say no if he wants to. I would have; I am not the sort to raise children. Ever. "You selfish..." Yeah, right, whatever. No, I was emotionally abused most of my childhood, never really learned how to properly be a child, and certainly never learned the right way to raise one by being parented properly. I really don't have the capacity to be a good parent without extensive classes and therapy, and never had children as I knew I'd suck at being a parent. I married somebody with a similar background and we've built a great life together--without children. Piss off with your judgmental bullcrap. I didn't award a Bad Guy score here as circumstances are unknown. If OP had a background like mine, no harm, no foul. You don't raise children in that circumstance and that becomes grounds to terminate the relationship. I've avoided getting involved with gentlemen who have children for that reason.
@@BronzeDragon133 OP is still a bad person for trying to force her opinion on her bf. If he wants to raise the child then she has no right to stop him.
@@GrootsChannel She has every right to express that opinion and find and rapidly use the door if he decides to do it. I would, it's a dealbreaker for me under all circumstances. How easily you brand somebody a bad person. That's fun.
@Dragon OP was the AH for her actions towards Sandra. It was an issue between OP and Malcolm. If OP does not want a BF with a dependent, then OP should just leave rather than throwing a temper tantrum.
Second story, I think OP does deserve the full 5/5 score because ultimately? She's being incredibly selfish and entitled and putting herself at the center of a family issue involving a death. She is actively going against her hopefully soon-to-be-ex BF's wishes to take on his sister. She is actively going against his BF's mother's wishes. She isn't taking for both of them, she's only talking about herself. The big thing, imo, is that she always had the option to say that she isn't ready for a kid and bow out of the relationship. It still would've been bad because he needs all the support he can get but it's better than being another burden in a shitty situation. Last story, I'm wondering if OP has a history of being a bad parent if his daughter, regardless of her age, didn't go to him for support. Plus, what would've been so hard to relight the candles and use the moment to teach the five year old not to do that? Edit: So I went looking and OP of the last story was throwing out comments as defenses and revealed that the 'difficult time' his daughter was going through was the death of the man that had proposed to her recently. This was basically the straw that broke the camel's back and his wife, OP's mom, ran to be by her side versus OP just writing it off. Turns out that Zara hadn't gone to OP about it initially, which still raises a red flag because she doesn't see her own father as a supportive figure in her life. For good reason mind you.
"Am I the asshole for being mad that my boyfriend of only six months agreed to look after his little preteen sister while her mother is dying of cancer??" YOU COULD NOT BE LESS OF ONE. HOW DARE YOU.
On the roomate being told to not cook at home, rSlash, I totally agree with you! The only way, that this is okay, is when OP & his roommate moved in together, that they had a agreement for no cooking of anything other than corn dogs & chicken nuggets.
The story where roommate's girlfriend is getting nauseous with food smells /might/ be more complicated, but with only the info in the story the OP is NTA. I think there's certain conditions that could be causing her sensitivity, and it might be some pretty serious nausea we're talking about. If that's the case though... She could also spend less time over there.
That last story reminds me of a similar incident from my old job. I worked at a bookstore and we had just set up some displays for the holidays. Later that day, a mom and her son come in and the son throws a tantrum when the mom tells him 'no' after he picks up a book. This kid screamed like a bloody banshee and shoved one of our new displays over, actually breaking the display and damaging the shelves next to it. My manager ran over to see what happened and the mom started consoling her child saying, "It's okay, it was an accident". Naturally, my manager asked them to leave after one of my co-workers told him what happened. After checking the cameras, he kept saying he should've made them help pick up the books.
but based on the story, this child didn't act all entitled, she just made a mistake that the mother seemed genuinely sorry about. I think the 22 yar old woman IS acting like a brat.
@@clarky23 OP left out some major details in the first post. The reason Zara was going through such a hard time was because her fiance died. The mom of the five year old and OP are absolutely the AH's here. Poor Zara, i'd cry too!
The last story reminds me of one from a couple months ago, where a guy had basically been treated as a second class citizen by his parents compared to his little sister, who was constantly allowed to blow out his candles, got presents on his birthday, etc., to the point where she was completely spoiled. The dam finally broke when they did it to him at some late teen age public party in front of other extended family members, causing parents to finally have to face consequences. I guess my point is, I highly doubt this came out of nowhere, but I suspect OP is leaving out years of him letting other kids run roughshod over his own and ignoring her needs. I don't think he's giving us the full picture, either because he's blind to it or because he's hiding it.
It wasn't about the candles the hard time she us going through is her boyfriend who proposed commited suicide, the candles just tipped ger over the edge
5th story: Just because she's a damn adult doesn't mean anything! It's her special day and op is letting a child ruin that and the mother didn't even discipline the child no! Wtf op?!
I celebrated my 31st birthday last month, and it is just as important to me as the previous birthdays. I would be upset, too especially if I am grieving.
At first I was like, “Ya OP’s bf should’ve talked to her if they live together and she’s gonna also be caring for Elena” but nope. He’s living with them and she doesn’t have any responsibilities to her. So wtf?
Nobody cries over candles being blown out... ...the problem goes much, MUCH deeper than this. I think this was only the top of an enormous iceberg... ...and to KNOW that someone is going through a tough time, but not realize this - should just stay clear of this persons life... because you are likely the reason their life is tough in the first place. Stop being a suppressive person - or get ready to have them go non-contact with you at first opportunity.
It is a pretty safe bet that Zara's tears had absolutely nothing to do with "candles" but something much deeper since she was already having a hard time and calling her a brat was probably not helpful.
The OP eventually said Zara's boyfriend soon to be fiancee or as she worded it a friends brother to downplay it had passed away in that time and just left it out as it would make OP look bad if she included it
About the story of Malcom and his half-sister, OP seems to think that being in her boyfriend’s life for 6months gives her the right to interfere in the decisions her boyfriend will chose to make about his family matters. Malcom, at 22years old, is FREE to decide what would best for him to do and it seems like the guy knows what he wants. Regardless the ‘Canadian AH’🤭😉, your comments are ALWAYS TO THE POINT!!!👏👏👏👍❤️
Third story: NTA. She doesn't even live there. Mat can either shut up or leave because OP can get him kick out for having a non registered roommate who's not paying rent basically.
"Wow AH? Wowah. Wow AH? Wow AH?! Is this a canadian thing? WOW AH!" Bruh, I didn't expect that and for it to last so long and you still not getting. Gotta frame it up on my wall. [Wow AH?!?]
The roommate situation. Sara wants him to only cook the food that makes her nauseous when she’s not around yet she’s always around. This just seems like a power grab. In a roommate situation like this a reasonable person would come up with a schedule so everyone could live in the space comfortably. It’s not a hard thing to figure out. Or crack a window while he’s cooking.
Story 2: I turned 21, over two weeks later my child was born. My baby is turning 16 very soon. You're not too young to care for a child. It's your choice to be there for your partner and the child, but being in your twenties isn't too young to care for children. Some of us get lucky and have children later in our lives after we've partied out. Some of us are fortunate to have children earlier in our lives (not referring to teen parents, different topic) so we're still going enough to be active and present while our children graduate high school/college/tech school. Haven't even finished hearing the story but I'm not impressed with OP. Edit: finished the story, OP is the "wow AH". Insulting someone whose still trying to fight while dying so her child isn't placed in an even worse position at her age. You don't need to date this man, but give him his space to be there for this child.
I'm Canadian, and I can assure you that we do not say "wow UH!" as an insult. Having said that, after hearing rSlash make this mistake, I think I may start saying it now hahaha
Listen no matter what if a kid blows out someone ELSE'S birthday candles then that kid is the AH. And the parents would be Entitled if they back the kid. It's not their cake, not their party, not their time to blow candles. My sister (10) blew out my daughters (3) candles and I threw a big fit over it. My step mother tried to back my sister and I made it very clear that wasn't and will never be okay that she needs to apologize and ensure to never happen again to move forward.
The latest point in time should be when they're first doing it intentionally. If you don't stop them right there, they'll spoil quicker than an opened Avocado lying next an Apple~
As someone who has always been a picky eater, I would be a bit of terror to cook for. I have tried to dial it back. I have autism and some of the ways it causes trouble for me is that taste and smells can be overwhelming and I have always had trouble with casseroles and sauces and stuff. But as I grew older and became more aware of myself and my behavior, as well as the trouble other people go through to cook, I have dialed it back quite a lot. I’ve also gotten better at trying new foods and at least try it before turning up my nose at it, and if someone cooks something I really don’t wanna eat, I’ll just cook for myself. It’s not that hard. I’m not surprised if a toddler or a child will be troublesome to cook for. My nephew can be a little tricky with food to at times, it’s just the way children can be. But if you are a grown ass adult who cannot deal with your own issues and constantly harass and inconvenience your friends and family for it, you are the one with a problem. I do sympathize with having issues that concern food, I really do. There are times I feel really bad for not just eating whatever is available or feeling like I inconvenience the people around me with my issues, and just wishing I was ‘normal’ in regards to food. But you cannot expect the people around you to bend over backwards to accommodate you and your ‘needs’.
@@cynister7384 Which makes it even worse. I don’t like everything that people around me eat, but I would never in my life ask that they stop cooking for themselves because I don’t like the smell or whatever. Again, if you’re a grown adult then you need to grow up and deal with your own issues. Not expect the world to acquiesce to your needs and demands.
That cooking story; I have a VERY strong sense of smell, am very picky and certain foods I just can’t stand even looking at. With all that said, OP is completely in the right. Suck it up, stay in another room with an open window and deal. Politely asking for him to cook with the vent or open a window is one thing but outright asking him not to cook what he wants is insanely entitled. I don’t even do that with my boyfriend of 9 years and he likes a lot of foods I hate or can’t stand the smell of
As someone who is SEVERLY allergic to nuts, I don't even force my roommates to not use/cook with nut products. I kindly ask them to just make sure everything is wiped down and cleaned after they use it. The fact this girl just doesn't like the smell of certain foods doesn't give her a right to act that way.
Story 1: nah, that's the bed the husband and wife have to lie on since they refused OP's help. NTA. also it's pretty funny that rSlash had a brain fart and forgot AH is A-hole lmao. Story 2: OP, wtf. Malcolm clearly chose to look after his sister after his mother passes away, nothing was forced. Massive YTA, I won't be surprised if he dumps you OP. Story 3: it's OP's apartment, he can cook whatever he wants. Sarah won't have any power, regardless if she pays rent or not. NTA. Story 4: OP calling Zara a brat on her birthday.... if my birthday was ruined like that and my own parents didn't do anything to comfort me I would be just as angry as Zara was. YTA.
Story 4 is getting worse if you read comments at the story from OP. Zara's Fiance commited suicide recently and she Goes for really bad times. Candle incident was her camels back
Candle Story: After reading the comments and learning the entire story (i.e. dead fianceé) I can say with absolute certainty that the OP deserves 4/5 AH Score. Like, don't minimize and gloss over what happened to your daughter like it's her having a puppy crush with some guy who just turned her down. No, she lost the love of her life. This was a guy she was going to start a future with and OP didn't give two 💩about telling us that which immediately left OP in the inconclusive slot up until she was transparent with that bit of information.
Poor Zara, life was handing out L's left and right. Those candles were going to be one, bright, little W, one birthday wish, and some bratty kid with an entitled parent snuffed it out, literally.
Picky eater story: OP is NTA for wanting to cook what they want in their place they pay rent and not want to be forced to cook chicken tenders to appease their roommate’s insane girlfriend who doesn’t pay rent and mooches off of them. I feel sorry for those parents of the girl, probably thought “ugh back to chicken tenders for every meal” when their kid came back cause the adult world had too many “unpleasant” smells. Probably regretted enabling her as a kid because she was “cute”, too bad the cuteness ended during adulthood
First story: the way OP states the lady says wow is something people do to give emphasis on one syllable words. It’s not strictly a Canadian thing. I think it’s a “people that don’t know how to use the correct words” thing.
It's far more likely that what she actually said was "Wow, asshole!" and OP just abbreviated it to AH (given that many people on AITA also abbreviate the word to AH).
Story 3: i don’t like the fact that op put sarah’s condition in quotation marks because from what was described it sounds like sarah might have arfid (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder) which is a real disorder, although i dont think she should’ve asked op to stop their cooking as she can just not be in the house, if she wants to be with her boyfriend they can be in sarah’s house/apartment or out in public not somewhere In which sarah is uncomfortable!
The last story I already read and replied to on Reddit and bro it gets worse. She was having a rough time BECAUSE HER FIANCÉ DIED!!! And don’t even get me started on op’s replies to comments calling her out. It was the classic “BUT SHES FIVE!” And “Well I didn’t know till after that it was her fiancé who died! I just knew someone died” LIKE HUH???? She doesn’t see her daughter as her daughter she sees her as a 23 year old, it’s common for awful parents to see a kid become an adult and just treat them like any adult on the street instead of the person they still love and raised outside of barbecues and family dinners. Plus I want to add op said that the mom didn’t plan it beforehand she just didn’t think Zara would react that way. That’s such a lie, the way it was worded ofc the 5 year old asked if she could blow them out and the mom said sure. Regular 5 year olds that are taught well know to ask first, you’d be surprise how much they know right from wrong at that age, so I called Bs.
On the windshield wiper story: not the AH OP. My husband used to help the upstairs neighbors by moving their packages from the front porch, to just inside the doorway (of course, it was out of the way so no tripping hazard). The first neighbor was very, very grateful since he received some expensive items through FedEx, Amazon and UPS. The second neighbor, was equally grateful since she ordered clothes and whatnots. This current neighbor though… she confronted my husband on the porch and said he was not to touch her packages again, or she’d call the landlord then the police…… She’s had at least 15 packages stolen off the porch. The security camera proves it’s not us stealing them but a group of teens/young adults. She hasn’t asked us to bring them inside and we’re not going to without her permission. The first time it happened, she yelled at my husband “Your wife is home all day! She could have stopped them!” It’s true, I -am- home all day because I’m disabled and need a cane to move around. Plus, I don’t sit at the front window like a dog, waiting for the mail carrier; I’m in my small “studio” painting, working with my clay or playing with my magnets. And the landlord doesn’t hold us responsible at all. He says if she’s expecting a package, then try to be home to receive it.
Turns out Canadians aren't weird, I'm just dumb.
WOW AH
Ye, we knew that lol
Weeeeell, you would have to have that sensored anyways, so... task failed successfully?
Don't forget to pin the comment lol
Omg I literally choked on my coffee reading this 😂
Yep Canadian here
rslash not noticing “wow AH” was “wow A-Hole!” is incredible
Lmao
i was like bro really?
its been too long since he's not been allowed to say Asshole
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 AS A CANADIAN I WAS DYING OMG ITS TOO FUNNY
The various readings of WOW AH has me in tears! I hope someone clips that part for an Rslash out of context short or something.
Rslash not realizing AH stands for asshole while reading AITA is kinda funny
@@Tristan10px He doesn't need to do that anymore, RUclips change the files he can say asshole and still monetize the video, the only way for him to lose that privilege is if he put "asshole" in the title of the video, besides that he can say anything he want and after 7 second he can drop the F-bomb, this are the new rules on RUclips.
Singapore 🇸🇬 be like
@@Tristan10px apparently not
It'd not AITAH
Its cute that you dont know how to talk
I like how Rslash had no clue what “wow AH” meant and yet he still uses it properly for the cancer mom story.
Maybe he has a biase against Canadians. I'm offended 😂
and the funny thing is when reading the post there are the explanations for initials next to every post
Go easy on him, he's not Canadian
Zara's meltdown sounds like a trigger. She might be going through some really difficult moment and the candles were the last straw. She probably needs help
Her boyfriend who just proposed commited suicide
Her Fiance commited suicide
The Zara story is even worse!. The "slight issue" Zara had been having, was "a brother of a friend" had recently passed. And then it was pried out of the OP in the comments. Turns out it wasnt just a friend's brother. It was HER BOYFRIEND WHO HAD JUST PROPOSED. She was going to say yes. So she was upset that her fiance just died, and this wasnt about cake or candles. It was Zara being overwhelmed, and this was the last straw. And as usual, when OP leaves out vital information, it's usually information that sways it from inconclusive to absolute AH.
Holy shit! Yeah, scores need to be raised to 5/5!
@@Tustin2121 yeah, all the comments were "there's something more, bc clearly zara's reaction wasnt normal" and then OP admitted about her fiance and how she was going to accept. And they were getting roasted over the coals. I do wish Zara the best and hopefully she can heal from her loss away from her toxic parents.
It doesn't change one bit
An adult throwing a tantrum over a 5 year old kid blowing candles is pathetic, no matter the circustance. I could understand being emotional and doing it in the moment, but to keep pouting is unexcusable.
And to be clear, I know what she's going through, my wife died when I was a 26 years old.
@@herrerasauro7429you have been spamming the same thing in every comment
@@MalekitGJ Yeah just realized it was likely a troll, which to be fair, does make him a piece of you-know-what for trolling this way.
As someone who gets nauseous at the smell of certain foods, I would never ask someone to not make that food, I just open a window or go outside for a bit until they’re done
Yeah, I get nauseous when people cook ground beef, but I just suck it up. I have no right to tell people what they can and can't cook.
Sounds very reasonable of you, but as we all should know from most of these videos, most people aren't reasonable 😂
Which is very reasonable however you are a considerate person unlike the girl in this story who is completely entitled. Seems like they hoped to chase OP out of the apartment. I was surprised OP didn’t informed the landlord of the full time guest that may be in violation of the rental agreement
Yeah, its one thing if she had a severe allergy and op was just cross contaminating everything left and right. However this just a case of a sensitive sense of smell and expecting everyone to cater to you. Asking people to be conscious of cross contamination because it could hospitalize you is reasonable, trying to dictate what your boyfriends roommate is allowed to eat because the smell is too much for you is not reasonable. As someone with other sensitivities, most people like you and me understand that it's not other people's responsibility. Like I have an issue with anemia and low blood pressure so I get cold very easily, I'm not going to tell people that they need to keep their houses at 80°F and sweat all day for me so I'm comfortable, I'm going to bring a hoodie and deal with the cold hands.
i didnt like how he undermined her sensitivity but yeah its not his problem. if she doesnt like it she can just not come to their house
Rslash reading "Wow, _bad guy_ as wow, AHHH" made my day
It’s a hole
It's golden
"the innocence of boomers!" lol
@@jacobcorturillo6537 which hole??
Regardless of how old Zara was, the 5-year-old should have long since been taught not to blow out someone else's birthday candles. "She didn't know any better" isn't an excuse, it's an admission of guilt.
This. The "tough time" that the celebrant is going through is a red herring.
I'm Autistic and smells are one of the things that affect me most, some just straight up make me sick. But the way around that is: not being around the smell or covering it up. If she wasn't over constantly it'd be one thing to ask "Hey can you tone down the food smells while I'm here." But if she's gonna be there she's gotta find ways to deal with it. Personally I have a bottle of perfume I enjoy to cover smells I don't like (it's strawberry pound cake, it smells amazing)
Damn i assume that smells amazing, personally there’s this peach air freshener that i like but my parents don’t really like the smell because its a girly and sweet smell 😅
Fr, if my bf cooks something I can't stand (we live together) then I wear a turtleneck so I can cover my nose with it
The fact that rslash doesn't understand that she means a**hole by AH is so funny😂
Yea
more ironic that this is on an "am I the AH" post ^^
It's probably to artificially boost comments
I mean he knows what it means but still says it wrong so he gets more interaction in the comments = better for tge algorithm
RUclips wiped that word from his vocabulary with electric shocks and chocolate bunnies.
Imagine dating someone for only six months and trying to control their lives.
Correct me if I’m wrong. I didn’t get the vibe that OP was forced to take on any responsibilities
I know! The audacity that she thinks she has any say in what he does in this situation. There's the door. Don't let it hit you on the way out.
Moment anyone tries that with me, out the door!
@@lorilancaster5917 They live together right? The responsibility would fall on her eventually, but that doesn't matter because that is the point, what we have here is a 12 year girl that is seeing her world crawling down, what the OP what to show her the middle finger, Matt is the only person that Elena can lend on what the OP what him not to do that, in other words when Elena need it Matt the most he just kind of vanish.
Matt went " nope she is my family and I ain't turning my back on her if that means no more GF then fine "
In the last story, Zara's "difficult time" was that her friend's brother, who was about to propose to her, ended his own life. This makes the whole candle fiasco so much worse, and OP's score should be cranked up to 4/5 for not only being dismissive of her daughter's feelings, but also conveniently putting that very relevant piece of information in a comment, rather than the main post.
It doesn't change one bit
An adult throwing a tantrum over a 5 year old kid blowing candles is pathetic, no matter the circustance. I could understand being emotional and doing it in the moment, but to keep pouting is unexcusable.
And to be clear, I know what she's going through, my wife died as I adminstered CPR when I was a 26 years old.
@@herrerasauro7429 it's not about the candles though. everything was for her, and for a lot of people the smallest thing can break them when they're already vulnerable. in this case it was the candles
@@herrerasauro7429 it wasn’t about the candles. It was all the emotions coming crashing down to her in that moment. You really don’t see it and you claim to know how she feels. Do you really?
@@herrerasauro7429 imagine havin gone through a traumatic situation and still managing to be so unempathetic to other people, i'm sorry to hear about your wife but the way you handle your situation isn't the same as everyone else's
besides, even if she wasn't goin through something, it's totally reasonable to be ticked off that some spoiled little brat blew out the candles on your cake on _your_ birthday and everyone sided with them
@@herrerasauro7429 I’m with you. Thats the type of reaction I’d expect from a young teenager
Story 2: Glad that Malcolm wouldn't have to worry about expenses in caring for Elena. The mom's life insurance policy thing and the account to help care for Elena is, honestly, more than I expected. A mother's love, right there, making sure her daughter is well-cared for with someone she trusts even after she's gone.
For the last story, there's a lot more to it.
"We don't normally do big parties in our family after double digits (and 18th/21st), but Zara has been going through a bit of a difficult time so we decided to throw her a surprise party."
In the comments, OP clarified that Zara's friend's brother died. But that's not all, he had apparently proposed to Zara and she told him she needed time to think and would give him an answer later. But, he died before she could do so. She's actively GRIEVING for someone who DIED, and OP apparently doesn't see why their daughter blew up like that about a 5 y/o blowing out her candles.
OP is a huge AH for not comforting her daughter, and instead berating her for not acting "mature". Dude, Zara's boyfriend who proposed to her DIED. Did you think that wasn't relevant enough to mention in the post?!
Edit: It was the father who made the post, not the mother.
OP says their wife followed Zara when she left crying, so I’m pretty sure OP is her moronic father.
I actually couldn't put it better
Man, OP is a 5 out of 5 bad guy, that's like mother gothal gaslighting evil!
Not to mention this may end up enabeling a Karen in the making, since the mom needed "calming down".
Ok since I have that info the dad is a fucking ass hole. The mom of the 5 year is fine I’m sure if everything was different if her boyfriend was alive she wouldn’t had cared. Idk the time line between of her boyfriend passing and the birthday party. But it seems close apart. I think it was a lot for her. And her dad was being a ass hole instead of comforting her, he insults her.
Last story.... Its not about the candles. Shes going through a rough time, the party was for her, therefore the cake/candles are for her. Doesnt matter how old she is. A lot of time, for people who are struggling, the smallest thing can break them. For Zara, it was the birthday candles.
And apparently the “rough time” Zara is going though is that her *fiancé just passed* -by his own hand.- Yeah! “Rough time”! What the actual hell?!
@@Tustin2121 When and where did the post say that?
@@joannamyers1268 - The commenters had to drag it out of the OP, and OP finally said this in a comment and got raked hard over the coals for leaving out that detail.
@@Tustin2121 No kidding. I didn't see it in any of OP's comments on there.
@@joannamyers1268 - That’s cause OP dragged it out over a few comments.
first comment: “one of her friend’s older brother recently passed”
then in a later comment in the same thread: “I know they were friends but I thought it was just that, and it wasn’t serious. I found out later that he had apparently proposed to Zara and she was going to say yes. But she needed time to think about it. No one bothered to let me know and it just seemed like a big drama.”
Trying to find confirmation on the self-termination bit. Maybe that’s something other commenters misinterpreted. Edit: Yeah, unddit isn’t giving me any comments that OP removed, I think someone extrapolated a little too hard.
Apparently birthday candle OP forgot to mention that the “tough times” were because Zara was grieving a dead fiancée.
O. M. G. Yeah ramp up that rating.
Oh geez, poor Zara, she lost her soul mate and had her birthday ruined [not gonna blame the kid entirely but the aunt needed to keep an eye on her kid as 5 isn't an age where one can fight impulse control] OP is definitely the A hole and a heartless bitch.
Whoa that makes this 1000x worse. Geezus fuck!!!
Just double checked. This is correct, and the daughter kept it completely secret from OP. GEE I WONDER WHY.
Wow AH
So in the last story, Zara is going through a hard time because her almost fiancée died unexpectedly recently. He died before she could say yes, since ahe asked for time to think. So yeah, Zara is going through way more than "a bit of a difficult time"
Oh wow, thats a terrible thing to be going through. That makes sense as to why her emotional state was so fragile
@@laughableInflection And to be called a brat for expressing that emotion when an asshole kid blows out your candles, that’s messed up.
That changes it from ESH (because candles? That's the hill y'all want to die on?) to YTA (never kick a man while he's down)
Random request: Can you post the link for this? Sorry if you don't want to or lost the link or something.
Birthday candles story: who else bets that Zara doesn’t get to blow any of her candles out on any of her birthdays after her siblings were brought into the picture. It probably triggered so many memories of stolen birthday wishes
EDIT: just read through the comments and saw that it was really about how the “rough time” was about her boyfriend who was going to propose to her passed on. The mother conveniently left this part of the story out to make her look like she wasn’t an A-Hole.
Honestly, how does one yell at a person and telling them they are basically acting like a child for showing emotion after their boyfriend died and then forget to mention it when writing the story online?
One is an asshole, that's how.
Story 2: YTA; the only thing rSlash missed about OP's problems was the clear projection and entitlement in her views, that she feels 22 is too young to have kids and it's selfish to ask someone to completely change their life like the BF is willing to do for his half sister.
100%. She wasn't "sticking up for him," she just personally didn't want to deal with a kid at 22 and didn't want to think about anyone but herself.
Also she talked to him about it in private and even made it clear she didn't really agree with the guardian thing, If he actually didn't want to do it felt pressure that was the perfect time to express it. But he didn't meaning he fully wanted to take up this responsibility. Who is op to go behind his back and berate a dying woman?
@@suitdoggy4707 I don't know where you're getting the idea that OP was 'berating' the woman. All she did was point out to her how the matter would affect Malcolm's life too, not just the kid's, and suggest other options. That's in no way 'berating' anyone.
It’s wrong to ask someone to make big decisions like asking your adopted son to take care of his sister. It’s a good idea OP tried to ask her boyfriend to make a big decision like abandoning his sister
Iim positive if Sandra had ANY OTHER OPTION, she’d take it. I don’t think Sandra wants to put the responsibility of a child on Malcom either, but it’s her literal only option.
I'm 22 and I couldn't even IMAGINE being a parent. However, if I had a half sister and her mother asked me to take care of her and had provided means, like Sandra providing the account, I would certainly try.
Malcolm taking in Elena is incredible. Good brother, good person.
OP is a selfish AH. Wow Ah!
Malcolm is stepping up. No one wanted to be in that situation especially Sandra. OP isn’t hindered by the situation and should just shut up and step aside. Like out of their lives aside.
And thats the thing, its not ops half sister and yall expect her to raise her AFTER 6 MONTHS of relationship with the malcolm?
@@pauliussipavicius4658No, I expect her to leave and Malcolm's family will be all the better for it.
If he wants to tie his life down for minimum 6 years, it is his choice. You do not like it, then walk away and do not try to make choices for him.
6 months together and trying to make life choices for him, big red flag.
@@pauliussipavicius4658 That's where @Lori Lancaster makes a good point. She should step aside. Like 'out of their lives' aside.
And this will always be remembered as the episode in which rslash didn’t realize that AH means “bad guy“ - it being an AITA episode is pure perfection 😂
The part that killed me was when he said is this a canadian thing😂😂
I can already imagine rSlash's editor dying in his chair from laughter and keeping the whole "wow AH" part in, knowing full well that AH was asshole lmao
It's even funnier if he knows any Canadians IRL and asks them about it before seeing these comments. Lol
Wait... I thought he edited these himself.
@@shaereub4450 maybe some videos he edits himself, Im not sure. but rSlash has an editor for a couple of years now I believe
@@shaereub4450 In some videos he's mentioned having an editor. I think specifically on videos to do with malicious compliance around bad bosses. Like there was a comparison of what he does vs what a lot of bosses do when it comes to paying employees
I didn't know either
Last Story: The fact that Zara was filled with enough anger and sadness to begin crying tells me that this wasn't the first time someone else was allowed to blow out her candles. This could just be an assumption though
Yup, I will not be suprised if Zara will be like no birthdays ...or no kids at party
It’s actually worse than that. Turns out the “tough times” Zara was going through, the details of which OP conveniently left out which was eventually squeezed out of her in the comments, was that her boyfriend, who would have been her fiancé as he was just about to propose to her, recently died. And even worse, OP at first didn’t say boyfriend or fiancé until commenters pushed her further. She said “friend’s brother.” She was trying to downplay it the entire time because she knew people would vote against her otherwise.
Omg what a tragedy! No! not the candles!
@@radhiadeedou8286 It wasn't the candles. Her emotional state was fragile because her fiance died
@@amandahealey2216 Also havent parents taught child dont blow candles on birthday thats not yours and um hello rona isnt a thing anymore or other illnesses?
As someone with all my senses severely overtuned, especially touch and smell, I get where the sensitive girlfriend is coming from. Sometimes it can get to you on a visceral level. Sometimes it's even on an irrational level, like how misophonia can lead to irrational outbursts. That's why when I'm in a situation that is far too stimulating, I let my partner know, and then I leave for a bit. I go and find somewhere to calm down and then come back when I feel better until I get adjusted.
What I don't do is demand other people accommodate me unless it's absolutely necessary, and even then I will politely make a request for a small adjustment. She needs to realize this is HER disorder. This is her problem, not everyone else's. If she was on the lease, she would have the right to an opinion, but not the right to force another roommate to not enjoy their harmless hobbies.
OP isn't completely innocent. OP seems to think she's lying about having that condition since OP put it in quotation marks.
@@healingthroughchrist1988 that might just be ignorance. There is a lot of new research about sensory sensitivity every day, and people can experience it in some pretty unique ways. Even still, Sarah doesn't pay rent so she has no right to DEMAND that OP stops cooking favorite foods. She can ask for a REASONABLE accommodation, like if she wants to be warned when certain foods are being cooked so she can leave the apartment for that time. Stop cooking food is NOT reasonable. It's just outrageous.
@@TheSaxAppeal Since it's been over 10 months, I have forgotten what OP's story was.
Five is old enough to know not to blow out the candles to someone else’s cake. If I remember correctly, Zara lost a loved one to suicide among other things. OP blew up at the wrong person.
Side note: couldn’t they have just relit the candles and pull the kids aside? Wait that would involve caring about Zara
She lost her fiance, I believe
@@stormwright8300 OK, that changes the entire tone of the story. 23 is a little old to make a huge deal about some candles...it's not if you're in an emotionally fragile state to begin with.
Yeah, Zara's mother is a complete AH here and I'd actually adjust the score up a little more knowing that.
@@stormwright8300 jesus christmas!!! i never caught that last bit to the story before cause i did remember hearing it but that...thats fucked up
That op got absolutely destroyed in the comments for his behavior heĺl even I joined in
@@BronzeDragon133 The post was made by the father, he mentioned in the comments that his wife ran after Zara. Unless they're both lesbian mothers, then I'm assuming the post was made by the father.
I had cancer 16years ago. Anything people say horrible things about people with cancer really trigger me. why be so heartless?
Well for one it's dumb and 2 you can't just throw a commitment like that to someone x.x
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 "Well for one it's dumb and 2 you can't just throw a commitment like that to someone" and that justifies undermining someone's personal choice? you ain't fooling anyone op
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 it sounds like he wanted to. 22 years old is young, sure, but he's still a legal adult and can make his own decisions. It's not dumb.
@@amedievalbeggaronthestreet7296 I was referring to the cancer bi t ch expecting OP to watch over her kid
@@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681 She made a request. He's adult at perfect liberty to decline. He made his decision and his GF thinks she has standing to object.
Story 3: As someone with GI issues that can be triggered by the smell of certain foods, you DON'T get to just up and move into someone's place and dictate the kitchen! That's a whole conversation you have BEFORE you move in! I don't expect people IN THEIR HOME to change their dietary habits to just accommodate me. The most you can really ask for in that situation is a heads up so you can keep yourself safe.
This! I could maybe understand if it was like 1 or 2 things and she was trying to negotiate times to cook those things, or for a rough idea of when OP would be cooking so she could vacate. It's not like she's there 2 hrs a day and he waits until she arrives to cook things to make her sick. When is OP even supposed to cook if she's there most of the time?
@@zt_g If it was like balchao (specifically prawn), or durian or Fermented shrimp paste. I would get it. Those things smell very strong and linger. But, this is beyond what is reasonable to even ask.
What does gl mean (I'm an idiot so idk)
@@imaspookycat Gastrointestinal. Everything to do with your entire digestive system
@@imaspookycat gastroinstestinal (digestive system)
Story 4 has an UPDATE: OP left out some MAJOR information. Apparently Zara was going through a rough time because her FIANCÉ had died!! OP is such a horrible parent!!!
The fiancé had unalived himself
@@lorilancaster5917 i don't know if this is the case, but that makes it even worse lol
For the last story, as someone who hasn't had a birthday party since 11 and being 23 myself. I fully understand why she got upset. I haven't had cake, haven't had a present, I just go out with a couple friends to drink/eat, if not I drink alone and respond to the usual "Happy Birthday!" messages.
If someone threw a surprise party for me and someone else blew the candles, I would too get kinda upset about it.
It apparently gets a lot worse
@@thejaiganticbridge5479 There an update or something?
Based what some of the other commenters have said, the reddit threat managed to squeeze out information from OP that she was conveniently withholding.
Apparently, the 'tough times' she was going through was her fiance to be literally died and she was suffering extreme grief alongside everything else. The candles basically broke the camels back kinda deal.
Story 3: I have gastroparesis. My stomach is eight kinds of messed up and plenty of stuff makes me nauseous even by the smell and the AUDACITY of this woman to insist that everyone around her has to abide to her “needs” makes me enraged. If someone was cooking something that made me nauseous, I’d ask for about how long it would take then go for a walk or something.
I might compromise with them and ask them not to cook anything that would take too long (there are dishes that take 4 hours to cook, after all) or if it was a daily occurrence ask if we could set a schedule so I could know when to be gone, but never in my life would I do what this woman did.
Edited to correct story number
Agreed! I have chronic migraines and cyclical vomit syndrome, I just take anti-nausea tablets it the situation gets too dicey for my stomach. You don't ask the masses to adapt for the few 🤷
Story 4 is the cake story >> the cooking story is 3
@@cooler-ian thanks. It was still early here when I posted that.
@@1bendykat early gang 👏👏👏
@@cooler-ian RSlash posts at 6am Pacific, where I am. Usually it’s the first thing I do is watch his video.
When I and a majority of my cousins were really young we witnessed a cousin get spanked for blowing out his sister's candles when he wasn't supposed to. It led to us knowing that the unwritten rule is that you don't blow out birthday candles unless it's your own. Op should have told the neice the SHE was the brat and not Zara. Op is a lousy parent. Blowing out someone's birthday candles is beyond rude.
I don't think a 5 year old is rude for blowing out candles. Probably more like didn't know she shouldn't.
@@debbymccormack65255 is plenty old enough to know, it's just lousy parenting on mom's part since she doesn't seem to care
@@horseluver4ever623 you're statement is contradicting. You say she's old enough to know but then say it's lazy parenting. And 5 is s till very young. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of a party at that age. I just think that passing judgment on a 5 year old is harsh. The mom, yes.
@@debbymccormack6525 She is old enough to know if mom had bothered to teach her and enforce it That's not contradictory.
@@horseluver4ever623 Since her mom didn't see an issue with her blowing out the candles, it's safe to say that she hadn't been taught so we can't blame her.
Lmao at the last story. Imagine getting punched in the face, being shocked at the person for punching you, and then they get offended by your reaction.
The worst part is that Zara was having a rough time because her **fiancé died**!!What the fuck is wrong with OP?
No I can't imagine because blowing candles and getting punched isn't comparable AT ALL
@@radhiadeedou8286 it's an analogy.
@@radhiadeedou8286 She wasn’t crying because of the candles. She was on the brink of crying any given minute because her fiancé died, so any small thing can be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
@@radhiadeedou8286 ok, imagine your mother dies. You go out to dinner to try to cheer yourself up and distract from the death. And a random 5 year old spits in your food.
Do you not see that her reaction is bc of literally everything else going on? All she did was cry and leave when shes already having a hard time.
Second story: And not only that, OP made it sound like Malcom was pushed into taking care of Sandra. I'm certain his stepmom had a discussion with him about his, knowing that he is young and having to change his life to take care of a child and making sure he wasn't pushed into it. And he still said yes. So it's his choice and he knew what he was doing.
The birthday candle story is so much worse. She was grieving because a friend died and that friend apparently was gonna be a future fiance. He proposed and then died and this birthday thing was the last straw. The OP is fighting for his life on Reddit trying to justify his actions. He claims he knows he's an asshole then says something after that shows he doesn't believe he is. I feel so bad for that girl.
It was Zara's Fiance
Zaras fiance died and fit make everything worse for her
Story 1: After her husband cased a scene like that I wouldn't go anywhere near them so I get why you didn't help. I understand why he got mad because they don't know you but still.
As the commenter said I would be mad at first. However they still got mad and defensive even after OP and the neighbors explained everything. They chose to alienate themselves.
The wife calling OP a butthole for not helping even after she yelled at him. Like bruh, you yelled at someone, they are not gonna help you.
@@dracko158 Exactly, you can't do something negative and expect a positive reaction. That's not how people work.
@@cecejamesable A literal Karen move, I'd say.Doing something negative and then expects people to treat you positively.
@@dracko158 and she expects the fact that she has kids it would absolve her of the actions she and her husband displayed before. A boundary was set for OP. He’s only adhering to a neighborly request
I can’t stop laughing about that whole “Wow AH”-thing and Rslash not realizing that it means asshole. The more he says “AH” the more I have to laugh 😂 (not in a mean way)
I'm suspicious about the fact that the mother of the niece said "I didn't think Zara would act like this!" That, to me at least, kinda sounds like the mother either told her child to do that, encouraged her to do it, or didn't discourage her from doing if the girl said she was gonna do it.
As we learned, Zara lost her fiance to self-termination, so...Zara's incredibly emotionally fragile right now, too. If Aunt X did do this, she's being incredibly abusive.
@@BronzeDragon133- Oh god, that’s even worse! Raise the scores to 6/5!!
yh exactly what i thought, thats such a weird thing to say
@@Tustin2121 Yeah, it's shades of my own childhood and I'm havin' flashbacks... Normally at 23 I wouldn't expect that behavior. Given recent events, she's actually being downright restrained and functional, poor thing.
@@BronzeDragon133 - I went and looked over OP’s comments on Reddit and undelete Reddit, and I can’t find a source on the self-termination bit. Where did that come from?
As someone who also gets really nausea smelling any food I Don't like, I have never told anyone to not cook it, I simply just tell them to not let the food touch me. The gagging sucks but honestly it goes away in 10 minutes and isn't so bad
Story 3: I also dont like certain food smells. But instead of forbidding roommates to cook those foods I would ask Them to please use the Kitchenextractorhood or open the Windows afterwards
Rslash not realizing “wow AH” is actually “wow ‘badguy’” and then calling the OP of the adoption story “wow AH” made my year 😂😂😂
Story 2: Wow, OP is just absolutely nuts. Like, who cares if he didn't consult OP first? And the interference. Man, OP is just insane.
To be fair they are in a relationship. 6 months or 6 years doesn't matter, they are partners. He should either ask her opinion first or break up with her, not make potentially life changing decisions for her.
Umm... Of course he should've consult her. He's taking up a kid to care for. Don't you think it affects them both in a major way? I'd be pissed if my SO just decided to adopt a child without speaking to me first. Either break up or work the issue TOGETHER.
Eh, I think that was the only part where I was on her side. Obviously the boyfriend can make his own choice, but he should have still sat her down and told her
@@rollochairbreaker2306 months or years does matter. Or rather relationship status. If they aren't living together, not in in the planning to move in stage, no marriage talk then no he doesn't need to consult her after only 6 months. He needs to inform her, which he did. Then she can decide if she wants to continue. Basically if their lives are not joined in any significant way her wishes are of no relevance here.
@@rollochairbreaker230 The time absolutely does matter, what are you on?
The fact we’re about 1500 episodes in and so many AITA that rslash not remembering what AH means is absolutely hilarious
I know! In a way, it's nice to see that even the jaded Rslash, the guy that talks about how much he's read in most episodes had this hilarious moment of innocence.
Rslash is taking monetization very seriously, the demonized word in the title of this sub reddit is completely gone from his brain now. Very respectable work.
the mother in the last story deserves the full 5/5 dad guy score also the "hard times" Zara was having was her fiance passed away
dad guy
Oh RSlash... The neighbor in the first story yelled "Wow, Bad Guy!" 😂
or "wow, on the wrong scale"
Why'd rSlash start saying bad guy anyway, wasn't butthole just fine?
@@Max1996YT unfortunately not paccording to youtube. 😂
@@Max1996YT Nope, RUclips is really cracking down on what they consider cuss words and a video can't be monetized if anything "unsavory" is in it.
You mean "Wow! Boog!"
Story 3: okay so Sarah doesn’t live there, she doesn’t pay rent and she doesn’t pay any bills yet she think she’s entitled to say what another person can or can’t cook in their home. NTA if Matt is so concerned about Sarah then both of them can either go and stay at her place or get an apartment together to do what they wish. It’s OP’s home and he can do whatever he wants in his home.
I’m the same as the gf in the cooking story, I can’t help but vomit when I try new things and I barely eat when I go out bc I don’t like the way certain foods are prepped.
The gf should NOT live in that apartment if she can’t handle those things. Especially when she doesn’t pay rent, she doesn’t get to make requests. I understand how hard it is for her but seriously, why is she still in this apartment if it’s so toxic???
(If y’all are curious, you could look up ARFID bc I suspect she also has this)
Story 2: OP didn't actually screw up. She showed her true colors quickly to her STBX so he could make better decisions BEFORE he invested too much of his heart into their relationship. OP needs to grow up and stop being so narcissistic and self-absorbed. If she got pregnant with her BF's baby she would expect him to step up even at his tender age of 22. She just didn't like that he was gaining a child that was not HERS. Good thing she revealed her true nature now so she could be kicked to the curb before causing emotional distress to her STBX's family. But OP is definitely TA.
The op in the last one needs a way harsher score. When looking in the comments, op says Zara is having a tough time because a friend of hers died, and after ppl pried further, they said that friend PROPOSED to her! There is no way op can’t be the a-hole when they called their daughter a brat for crying when her fiancé died
I think the AH in "Wow AH" stands for the same thing it stand for in "Am I the AH?" 😂😂
rslash forgetting AH means butthole and continually saying wowUH is so funny to me
I so wish we could have seen Dabney's face as he kept going "wow AH!" 😂
Last story: If your 5-year old doesn't know better than to blow out someone else's candles, you've screwed up as a parent.
If I'd have pulled that move, even at three, my mother would have, to use a Southern phrase, "jerked a knot in my tail."
Even though we raised our kids a little differently, they would have been immediately taken to a private place, had it explained to them, and been punished. Also, I, as the parent, would have immediately offered an apology and made my child apologize later.
This isn't even strict or a big deal. You just take the child aside, explain, give them some time away from the party, and apologize.
As someone who also throws up at the smell of certain foods. I would NEVER go to someone else’s home and tell them they can’t cook cause I’m there. I’m choosing to be there. It’s not my home. If she doesnt like it she can go to her house
Story 4: It's Zara's birthday, Zara blows out the candles, nobody else. My parents blow out their candles!
I don't really know if the 5 yr old deserves a score because they're 5, but OP definitely gets a high one for siding with the kid and hand waving Zara's complaints
I’m sorry but she’s twenty three, she’s old enough to not have a meltdown over candles.
And it honestly wouldn't be that hard to tell the kid that it was Zara's candles to blow out and then relight them so Zara could blow them all out
@@mhammer3186 It wasn't the cake, it was the straw that broke the camels back. OP later specifies that Zara's Fiance had 'self-ended' recently. Big thing to leave out.
Especially that Zara is grieving her fiance death.
@@mhammer3186 I'm over 50, and would be hurt if anybody else than me blew my birthday candles.
It's not about age, but respect.
A 5 year old should be old enough to understand the difference between mine and yours.
And it was NOT her cake, or birthday.
My guess is that she is a spoiled brat, and never hear the word no.
On the second story, about the mom dying from cancer, 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬. 5/5 Bholes! I have a younger brother, about the same age gap as the half siblings. When I was 22, and we were planning if anything happened to my parents, I wanted custody of my brother, and asked that I be considered. Nothing happened, but here is my thinking: I understand what my brother is going through, because I also would’ve just lost my parents. Would I need help, without a doubt. However, we would have each other to lean on and not be alone. If I had been dating someone, who didn’t support that, END of RELATIONSHIP! The GF is toxic and selfish, and needs to be removed from the situation, permanently. I am angry for the boyfriend. He needs to dump her, and find someone who actually deserves his kind heart, and willingness to take his little sister.
With the cancer story, I can *understand* op being upset that Malcolm didn't discuss the situation with her first but she still shouldn't have said all that
Tbh if I was six months in with someone and an emergency like this happened I wouldn’t discuss it with them either. I would inform them about the changes in my life but my decisions in a relationship that early on are not up for debate.
Same.
@@cuteandspookycritters8691 I'm leaning more towards telling her to give her the chance to either stick around and help or leave with no hard feelings. But that's just how I think
I agree. I also agree with Malcolm in that op should get on board or get out
6 months. that's all they had been dating. i can understand being upset with the situation, but its not about her at all.
Nah man, Birthdays are sacred. This poor girl was really going through the shitter and they couldnt control their baby for TWO MINUTES while she had her moment? A moment she could feel supported by all who supposedly love her, and make her a priority for ONE day. That alone is just a horrible betrayal.
5 years old is old enough to know not to blow out someone else's birthday candles. Zara is having a hard time and a selfish child just ruined the one thing that was supposed to cheer her up. Of course she's gonna be upset.
Story 2: Plus we‘re talking about a 12yo, not a Newborn or toddler. She isn’t going to occupy his whole life, he doesn’t need to quit his job or dismiss his education. He can still go out some nights. A 12yo is fairly independent most times, so it‘s absolutely not too much to ask from a 22yo family member, especially regarding the circumstances.
Depends. He still has the right to say no if he wants to. I would have; I am not the sort to raise children. Ever.
"You selfish..." Yeah, right, whatever. No, I was emotionally abused most of my childhood, never really learned how to properly be a child, and certainly never learned the right way to raise one by being parented properly. I really don't have the capacity to be a good parent without extensive classes and therapy, and never had children as I knew I'd suck at being a parent. I married somebody with a similar background and we've built a great life together--without children. Piss off with your judgmental bullcrap.
I didn't award a Bad Guy score here as circumstances are unknown. If OP had a background like mine, no harm, no foul. You don't raise children in that circumstance and that becomes grounds to terminate the relationship. I've avoided getting involved with gentlemen who have children for that reason.
@@BronzeDragon133fr thank you
@@BronzeDragon133 OP is still a bad person for trying to force her opinion on her bf. If he wants to raise the child then she has no right to stop him.
@@GrootsChannel She has every right to express that opinion and find and rapidly use the door if he decides to do it. I would, it's a dealbreaker for me under all circumstances.
How easily you brand somebody a bad person. That's fun.
@Dragon OP was the AH for her actions towards Sandra. It was an issue between OP and Malcolm. If OP does not want a BF with a dependent, then OP should just leave rather than throwing a temper tantrum.
Happy Monday everyone! I hope your vacation was amazing as you, Dagney you deserve it. ❤😊 also "Wow AH" she was saying "Wow Ass Hole!" Lol
Second story, I think OP does deserve the full 5/5 score because ultimately? She's being incredibly selfish and entitled and putting herself at the center of a family issue involving a death. She is actively going against her hopefully soon-to-be-ex BF's wishes to take on his sister. She is actively going against his BF's mother's wishes. She isn't taking for both of them, she's only talking about herself. The big thing, imo, is that she always had the option to say that she isn't ready for a kid and bow out of the relationship. It still would've been bad because he needs all the support he can get but it's better than being another burden in a shitty situation.
Last story, I'm wondering if OP has a history of being a bad parent if his daughter, regardless of her age, didn't go to him for support. Plus, what would've been so hard to relight the candles and use the moment to teach the five year old not to do that?
Edit: So I went looking and OP of the last story was throwing out comments as defenses and revealed that the 'difficult time' his daughter was going through was the death of the man that had proposed to her recently. This was basically the straw that broke the camel's back and his wife, OP's mom, ran to be by her side versus OP just writing it off. Turns out that Zara hadn't gone to OP about it initially, which still raises a red flag because she doesn't see her own father as a supportive figure in her life. For good reason mind you.
"Am I the asshole for being mad that my boyfriend of only six months agreed to look after his little preteen sister while her mother is dying of cancer??"
YOU COULD NOT BE LESS OF ONE. HOW DARE YOU.
The “wow AH” made my entire morning. Thank you so much RSlash, even if it was unintentional. DW we’ve all been there missing the obvious LOL
He made the first story way funnier than it should have been.
On the roomate being told to not cook at home, rSlash, I totally agree with you! The only way, that this is okay, is when OP & his roommate moved in together, that they had a agreement for no cooking of anything other than corn dogs & chicken nuggets.
The story where roommate's girlfriend is getting nauseous with food smells /might/ be more complicated, but with only the info in the story the OP is NTA. I think there's certain conditions that could be causing her sensitivity, and it might be some pretty serious nausea we're talking about. If that's the case though... She could also spend less time over there.
I can’t express how much I enjoyed the WOW AH 😂 especially after finding out it was a mistake 🤣🤣
That last story reminds me of a similar incident from my old job. I worked at a bookstore and we had just set up some displays for the holidays. Later that day, a mom and her son come in and the son throws a tantrum when the mom tells him 'no' after he picks up a book. This kid screamed like a bloody banshee and shoved one of our new displays over, actually breaking the display and damaging the shelves next to it. My manager ran over to see what happened and the mom started consoling her child saying, "It's okay, it was an accident". Naturally, my manager asked them to leave after one of my co-workers told him what happened. After checking the cameras, he kept saying he should've made them help pick up the books.
but based on the story, this child didn't act all entitled, she just made a mistake that the mother seemed genuinely sorry about. I think the 22 yar old woman IS acting like a brat.
@@clarky23 OP left out some major details in the first post. The reason Zara was going through such a hard time was because her fiance died. The mom of the five year old and OP are absolutely the AH's here. Poor Zara, i'd cry too!
The last story reminds me of one from a couple months ago, where a guy had basically been treated as a second class citizen by his parents compared to his little sister, who was constantly allowed to blow out his candles, got presents on his birthday, etc., to the point where she was completely spoiled. The dam finally broke when they did it to him at some late teen age public party in front of other extended family members, causing parents to finally have to face consequences. I guess my point is, I highly doubt this came out of nowhere, but I suspect OP is leaving out years of him letting other kids run roughshod over his own and ignoring her needs. I don't think he's giving us the full picture, either because he's blind to it or because he's hiding it.
rslash made a video of that too
It wasn't about the candles the hard time she us going through is her boyfriend who proposed commited suicide, the candles just tipped ger over the edge
5th story: Just because she's a damn adult doesn't mean anything! It's her special day and op is letting a child ruin that and the mother didn't even discipline the child no! Wtf op?!
I celebrated my 31st birthday last month, and it is just as important to me as the previous birthdays. I would be upset, too especially if I am grieving.
OP also left out of the post that the "difficult time" was the fact that she lost her boyfriend who had PROPOSED to poor mental health.
At first I was like, “Ya OP’s bf should’ve talked to her if they live together and she’s gonna also be caring for Elena” but nope. He’s living with them and she doesn’t have any responsibilities to her. So wtf?
Malcolm is an absolute angel and can do so much better than his current witch of a girlfriend.
Nobody cries over candles being blown out...
...the problem goes much, MUCH deeper than this.
I think this was only the top of an enormous iceberg...
...and to KNOW that someone is going through a tough time, but not realize this - should just stay clear of this persons life... because you are likely the reason their life is tough in the first place. Stop being a suppressive person - or get ready to have them go non-contact with you at first opportunity.
It is a pretty safe bet that Zara's tears had absolutely nothing to do with "candles" but something much deeper since she was already having a hard time and calling her a brat was probably not helpful.
The OP eventually said Zara's boyfriend soon to be fiancee or as she worded it a friends brother to downplay it had passed away in that time and just left it out as it would make OP look bad if she included it
Birthday Candle Story: YTA, I predict that if we ask the oldest and even other kids, we’d hear some details OP conveniently forgot (cherry picked out)
I know this story from reddit. The daughter was mourning her fiancé's death
Op didn't mention that Zara fiance died, and Zara is grieving his death.
Ya, but OP didn't know the guy that died was her fiance (it sounds like technically he was going to propose and she was going to say yes).
About the story of Malcom and his half-sister, OP seems to think that being in her boyfriend’s life for 6months gives her the right to interfere in the decisions her boyfriend will chose to make about his family matters. Malcom, at 22years old, is FREE to decide what would best for him to do and it seems like the guy knows what he wants.
Regardless the ‘Canadian AH’🤭😉, your comments are ALWAYS TO THE POINT!!!👏👏👏👍❤️
Third story: NTA. She doesn't even live there. Mat can either shut up or leave because OP can get him kick out for having a non registered roommate who's not paying rent basically.
"Wow AH? Wowah. Wow AH? Wow AH?! Is this a canadian thing? WOW AH!"
Bruh, I didn't expect that and for it to last so long and you still not getting.
Gotta frame it up on my wall. [Wow AH?!?]
The roommate situation. Sara wants him to only cook the food that makes her nauseous when she’s not around yet she’s always around. This just seems like a power grab. In a roommate situation like this a reasonable person would come up with a schedule so everyone could live in the space comfortably. It’s not a hard thing to figure out. Or crack a window while he’s cooking.
Story 2: I turned 21, over two weeks later my child was born. My baby is turning 16 very soon. You're not too young to care for a child. It's your choice to be there for your partner and the child, but being in your twenties isn't too young to care for children. Some of us get lucky and have children later in our lives after we've partied out. Some of us are fortunate to have children earlier in our lives (not referring to teen parents, different topic) so we're still going enough to be active and present while our children graduate high school/college/tech school. Haven't even finished hearing the story but I'm not impressed with OP.
Edit: finished the story, OP is the "wow AH". Insulting someone whose still trying to fight while dying so her child isn't placed in an even worse position at her age. You don't need to date this man, but give him his space to be there for this child.
I'm Canadian, and I can assure you that we do not say "wow UH!" as an insult. Having said that, after hearing rSlash make this mistake, I think I may start saying it now hahaha
Listen no matter what if a kid blows out someone ELSE'S birthday candles then that kid is the AH. And the parents would be Entitled if they back the kid. It's not their cake, not their party, not their time to blow candles.
My sister (10) blew out my daughters (3) candles and I threw a big fit over it. My step mother tried to back my sister and I made it very clear that wasn't and will never be okay that she needs to apologize and ensure to never happen again to move forward.
I vote that we adopt “wow AH” exactly as Rslash said it as a new catchphrase for this subreddit.
The kid was 5 years old, but at the same time, how long are you going to wait to tell them not take from others?
The latest point in time should be when they're first doing it intentionally.
If you don't stop them right there, they'll spoil quicker than an opened Avocado lying next an Apple~
As someone who has always been a picky eater, I would be a bit of terror to cook for. I have tried to dial it back. I have autism and some of the ways it causes trouble for me is that taste and smells can be overwhelming and I have always had trouble with casseroles and sauces and stuff. But as I grew older and became more aware of myself and my behavior, as well as the trouble other people go through to cook, I have dialed it back quite a lot. I’ve also gotten better at trying new foods and at least try it before turning up my nose at it, and if someone cooks something I really don’t wanna eat, I’ll just cook for myself. It’s not that hard.
I’m not surprised if a toddler or a child will be troublesome to cook for. My nephew can be a little tricky with food to at times, it’s just the way children can be. But if you are a grown ass adult who cannot deal with your own issues and constantly harass and inconvenience your friends and family for it, you are the one with a problem.
I do sympathize with having issues that concern food, I really do. There are times I feel really bad for not just eating whatever is available or feeling like I inconvenience the people around me with my issues, and just wishing I was ‘normal’ in regards to food. But you cannot expect the people around you to bend over backwards to accommodate you and your ‘needs’.
The thing is, OP isn't cooking for Sarah, he's only cooking for himself.
@@cynister7384 Which makes it even worse. I don’t like everything that people around me eat, but I would never in my life ask that they stop cooking for themselves because I don’t like the smell or whatever.
Again, if you’re a grown adult then you need to grow up and deal with your own issues. Not expect the world to acquiesce to your needs and demands.
Haha the AH isn't Canadian, it's the acronym for the word you can't say on youtube. That's how I took it after reading so many AITA.
and apparently "butthole" isnt allowed either
I thought RUclips reversed that policy recently?
That cooking story; I have a VERY strong sense of smell, am very picky and certain foods I just can’t stand even looking at. With all that said, OP is completely in the right. Suck it up, stay in another room with an open window and deal. Politely asking for him to cook with the vent or open a window is one thing but outright asking him not to cook what he wants is insanely entitled. I don’t even do that with my boyfriend of 9 years and he likes a lot of foods I hate or can’t stand the smell of
As someone who is SEVERLY allergic to nuts, I don't even force my roommates to not use/cook with nut products. I kindly ask them to just make sure everything is wiped down and cleaned after they use it. The fact this girl just doesn't like the smell of certain foods doesn't give her a right to act that way.
Story 1: nah, that's the bed the husband and wife have to lie on since they refused OP's help. NTA.
also it's pretty funny that rSlash had a brain fart and forgot AH is A-hole lmao.
Story 2: OP, wtf. Malcolm clearly chose to look after his sister after his mother passes away, nothing was forced. Massive YTA, I won't be surprised if he dumps you OP.
Story 3: it's OP's apartment, he can cook whatever he wants. Sarah won't have any power, regardless if she pays rent or not. NTA.
Story 4: OP calling Zara a brat on her birthday.... if my birthday was ruined like that and my own parents didn't do anything to comfort me I would be just as angry as Zara was. YTA.
Reading the comments made OP 4 even more of an AH-
Story 4 is getting worse if you read comments at the story from OP.
Zara's Fiance commited suicide recently and she Goes for really bad times. Candle incident was her camels back
@@DayDreamingWriters I didn't see OP mention suicide, must of missed it, but geez- a part of me kinda wished Dabney read the comments and extra info
@@DayDreamingWriters Yikes. Story 4 OP is making herself worse if that's true.
My mom had me at 19, she thought she couldn't take care of me. Here I am 17 years later and my mom is still here for me
Candle Story: After reading the comments and learning the entire story (i.e. dead fianceé) I can say with absolute certainty that the OP deserves 4/5 AH Score. Like, don't minimize and gloss over what happened to your daughter like it's her having a puppy crush with some guy who just turned her down. No, she lost the love of her life. This was a guy she was going to start a future with and OP didn't give two 💩about telling us that which immediately left OP in the inconclusive slot up until she was transparent with that bit of information.
Poor Zara, life was handing out L's left and right. Those candles were going to be one, bright, little W, one birthday wish, and some bratty kid with an entitled parent snuffed it out, literally.
Picky eater story: OP is NTA for wanting to cook what they want in their place they pay rent and not want to be forced to cook chicken tenders to appease their roommate’s insane girlfriend who doesn’t pay rent and mooches off of them.
I feel sorry for those parents of the girl, probably thought “ugh back to chicken tenders for every meal” when their kid came back cause the adult world had too many “unpleasant” smells. Probably regretted enabling her as a kid because she was “cute”, too bad the cuteness ended during adulthood
Always a good day when Rslash posts a video
First story: the way OP states the lady says wow is something people do to give emphasis on one syllable words. It’s not strictly a Canadian thing. I think it’s a “people that don’t know how to use the correct words” thing.
That was my thought on it as well. But I also like the interpretation that it's "wow. A. H." lol
It's far more likely that what she actually said was "Wow, asshole!" and OP just abbreviated it to AH (given that many people on AITA also abbreviate the word to AH).
Story 3: i don’t like the fact that op put sarah’s condition in quotation marks because from what was described it sounds like sarah might have arfid (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder) which is a real disorder, although i dont think she should’ve asked op to stop their cooking as she can just not be in the house, if she wants to be with her boyfriend they can be in sarah’s house/apartment or out in public not somewhere In which sarah is uncomfortable!
I’m not trying to diagnose sarah with anything I’m just stating what it seems like (to me) is happening
The last story I already read and replied to on Reddit and bro it gets worse.
She was having a rough time BECAUSE HER FIANCÉ DIED!!! And don’t even get me started on op’s replies to comments calling her out.
It was the classic “BUT SHES FIVE!”
And
“Well I didn’t know till after that it was her fiancé who died! I just knew someone died” LIKE HUH????
She doesn’t see her daughter as her daughter she sees her as a 23 year old, it’s common for awful parents to see a kid become an adult and just treat them like any adult on the street instead of the person they still love and raised outside of barbecues and family dinners.
Plus I want to add op said that the mom didn’t plan it beforehand she just didn’t think Zara would react that way.
That’s such a lie, the way it was worded ofc the 5 year old asked if she could blow them out and the mom said sure. Regular 5 year olds that are taught well know to ask first, you’d be surprise how much they know right from wrong at that age, so I called Bs.
On the windshield wiper story: not the AH OP. My husband used to help the upstairs neighbors by moving their packages from the front porch, to just inside the doorway (of course, it was out of the way so no tripping hazard). The first neighbor was very, very grateful since he received some expensive items through FedEx, Amazon and UPS. The second neighbor, was equally grateful since she ordered clothes and whatnots. This current neighbor though… she confronted my husband on the porch and said he was not to touch her packages again, or she’d call the landlord then the police……
She’s had at least 15 packages stolen off the porch. The security camera proves it’s not us stealing them but a group of teens/young adults. She hasn’t asked us to bring them inside and we’re not going to without her permission. The first time it happened, she yelled at my husband “Your wife is home all day! She could have stopped them!”
It’s true, I -am- home all day because I’m disabled and need a cane to move around. Plus, I don’t sit at the front window like a dog, waiting for the mail carrier; I’m in my small “studio” painting, working with my clay or playing with my magnets. And the landlord doesn’t hold us responsible at all. He says if she’s expecting a package, then try to be home to receive it.