So many of our public schools in Indianapolis restrict negative speech in favor of positive redirection to alternate choices. We raised our kids on "No", "Stop!", "Don't", "Quit", and "Not". When my wife was told not to use any negative speech, she re-engineered the whole protocol. "If you do that, I will help you understand a better choice with my hands!" "I see you need my help to make a better choice!" "I told you once to do something else, and this is entirely different than what I TOLD YOU to do." "I WILL move your body if you choose to stay still after I tell you to move!" "Go ahead an run from me. I positively love the chase! But when I catch you, I get to eat you." One day, that last one was heard by a roaming admin observer. She returned with the resource officer, the facility head, and a sub for replacement. The admin lady asked my wife point blacnk, "Did you tell that child that you would eat him if he made you chase him?" My wife answered, "Yes, because I'm the lion, and they are all precious little lambs." Turning to her preschool class, she asked, "Who are lambs?" They all started bleeting like little sheep, which was cute and adorable. Without missing a beat, my wife asked over the herd of lambkins, ""And who am I?" They all replied in a disjointed unison, "You're the lion!!" and made the cutest roaring sounds you've ever heard. She turned back to the admin, and smiled, "See? I'm a lion." "What do lions do?" she asked without looking away from the seething admin. "EAT LAMBS!" the collective responded gleefully, and punctuated it with eating noises. The admin and crew turned and walked away without retort or report. But the teacher across the hall came in and said she heard the entire thing, and laughed so hard she broke her bra.
@@lizzhuddle6224 My wife is an early childhood development goddess, and I worship the ground she treads. This is one of my favorite stories about her in the classroom. There are more like this.
Dear Parents- if you don't want to raise your kids, don't have any! There are many different types of birth control on the market. It's NOT teacher's job to do it for you. If you're afraid your kid will be taught manners, told no, or anything else, you need to homeschool them and deal with them yourself! Folks wonder what's wrong with some of these kids! It begins at home. Shout out to all of our dedicated educators- we see you!
I work as a teaching assistant, we had a student who we were not supposed to confront at all when he did something wrong, not supposed to say no or hey don't do that. Kid was an absolute nightmare. We just started calling the principal everyday to deal with him since we were told not to tell him no. Here you deal with it then.
She straight up reminds in the looks, humor, and mannerisms looks a lot like my PCP. I even showed her a pic of the teacher. She thinks they may favor a bit.
In college I took a child psychology course and the elimination of negative words was taught. I had two small children and I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my seat. How is a child supposed to learn boundaries and respect without being told no or don’t do that. My children were taught respect and I was never ashamed of taking them anywhere.
“We don’t say the word ‘consequence’ or anything which might be interpreted as ‘negative’ “ quoth the admin and school counselor at my school. “We just try to be everyone’s friend in all things and build a relationship with them. That way, they won’t choose to misbehave. You’re just too old school.” That’s when I knew it was time to go…
I worked at a school like that once. 😄 It wasn't funny while I was there but I knew the whole no consequence thing would bite them in the ass. Before transfering, I was treated like a blacksheep by admin and other teachers until that toxic thinking began to impact them. Suddenly comments went from, "What's wrong with you?" to, "How did you manage without support and without losing your head?" I laughed at the irony of them asking the one they ridiculed. 😂 I also shrugged my shoulders and laughed when I left. ☺️
That happened to me too! I quit. I still have moments where I'm still angry after leaving mid contract. I teach adults now. Pro tip: colleges will close the class, separate the students and kick out the worst offenders. All while taking everybody's money. The real world is no joke.
I subbed once at a school where the teachers were not allowed to say "no." I was flabbergasted and told them that I was going to say no and they were more than capable of finding another sub if they wished. It was a TK class (4 years old) and only half of them knew English. How they thought any teacher could go for 7 hours and not say "no" was astounding.
I have had parents tell me their child's behavior was caused by one of my staff saying "NO". I usually look at them blankly , say nothing , let them get uncomfortable and then put it on their laps " well, they better learn the word and how to handle it then".
Don't say please. No problem, you obviously don't want it enough so you don't get it. And thank you? Take it back if he isn't happy enough with it to be thankful. Do that enough and he'll start to mean it and want to say it! 😉 😂😂😂
I try to cut down the no and don't because when you say don't run the word the kid focuses on is 'run' but if you say slow down or walk inside they get the message more clearly. But blanket rules of never use negative words is bound to fail, especially in emergencies or other unusual situations.
Do you know how many district pre-school programs are not allowed to say 'no'......and then the kiddos get into kindergarten and start having meltdowns when the teacher says no, don't, stop......go figure? 😕
I worked at a daycare where we couldn't say no either so they told us to say instead of No, " hey little Timmy I know that you want to run out into the middle of the street but how about instead of doing that we play on the jungle gym" it used to irritate me to know end, it one of the reasons I quit.
This is thanks to quality rated. Ever since they came along, kids get away with so much. I work at a preschool too. We're going through quality rated now and we have to pretty much let the kids do what they want and redirect them when they are out of control.
I left my early childhood course after I got in trouble for saying “no” when a toddler tried to stick something in the uncovered electrical socket in the toddler room.
A close family member did this with her children. They often demand things and rarely say please and thank you. But the family member does the same thing. It’s a respect thing that colors our interactions. My understanding was that this family member didn’t think it was sincere or unnecessarily forced their kids to say things they didn’t want to say. I may have that wrong-never understood their reasoning. Some things must be demonstrated and enforced because it isn’t always obvious to kids. My SO and I use it between ourselves in our own home. It’s important. I knew it mattered when, while watching a friend’s young daughter, the 5-year-old commented that her mom and dad didn’t speak to each other like my spouse and I did/do.
I used to work at a daycare center. I was in the 18-24 month room. We were not allowed to tell them no. Exact quote from the director, when she heard me tell a kid no, cause he was pulling another kids hair, “we do not tell them no, it will hurt their feelings”. 4 days later, the same kid that was pulling the hair, scratched the same kid, the mom of the kid came into the room pissed, because her child was scratched, demanding I tell her which kid it was that scratched her son. I just kept repeating that she can talk to the director, cause by law I was not allowed to give out that information. I think I lasted all of 3 weeks at that job.
@@kellygirlaj I’d like to say they did, but I think it was another day or 2 before I just left on lunch and never went back. Took them till the end of the day to notice that I hadn’t returned, and called my house. I just couldn’t handle the insanity there.
My daughter in law believes that please is begging and thank you is pandering. At the grandparent's house (my house) we use these words regularly and ask that our granddaughter also uses them.
My niece is an elementary teacher in Huntsville, AL. The teachers cannot say no. They can’t discipline the kids, even if they are destroying school property. What the actual we-are-raising-criminals hell is this society coming to?
@@SharonHutchins-ve1cx My godmother was a librarian for an elementary school that was in an “affluent district” and OMG, the audacity of the kids there was like nothing I had ever seen before. She said that a 5th grader had been caught on hallway camera coming out of the boys room, of course this was after the incident, but he had ripped the soap dispenser off of the wall, making a huge mess in the bathroom. Put the broken soap dispenser IN his book bag and walked out and went out to the bus. I’m not sure what he was thinking there, cause there was a trail of soap, leaking out of his bag. His parents were called into the office with him on Monday after the cameras had been reviewed, and the parents would not take responsibility, in fact they knew he did it, but did not say anything because “he had pee wee football Super Bowl game to go to” the next day. Like I’m thinking, “honey if you don’t control you kid now, college scholarships ain’t coming his way”
@mandaleigh98 😂 I've seen the like and I agree with you. The sad thing is so many still value winning, the loudest screamer, and the outside factor over being ethical or hurting someones feelings by holding the accountableforntheir choice(s). I wonder if schools still pay to cover the shenanigans plus hire someone to write essays? 🤔 Won't win in life without integrity though.
When I was in my 20s, I taught swim lessons with a guy who had worked at a place that did not say “No” or “Stop” or any other things like that. Apparently, it was connected to a university that studied how positive language worked better. I used to ask him all the time, what are you going to do when a kid runs in the road?? You can’t have a conversation with a kid then - you yell Stop! And then they get a consequence if they do it again. He also didn’t believe in time outs or any sort of consequences. 😢
I had a 4 years old kid throw something at me and hit me when I was working in home. He laughed. I said “I’m not going to play anymore until you say sorry.” He had a three hour tantrum with his mother cradling him. And then he said “I shouldn’t have to say those words in my own house!” What in the 60 year old man in a five year old body? And mom supported him!
Although I think that story of the mother who handled that situation with utter brilliance is absolutely fantastic and effective, I wonder and worry about a few things. What happens when a child who is never told no gets out into the real world of dating, working and interacting with other adults, does this mean when that child wants to play with another child or date a person, make a friend, follow the directions of a work supervisor? The other child MUST play with the one who does not accept no. Does a person HAVE to go on a date or be friends with someone for the same reason. And lastly when one is at work, can they refuse to do a task or follow specific and important directions. Boss- that chemical is not stable and you cannot mix it with this one under any circumstances and the worker doesn’t really FEEL like the boss is respectful of their choice not to follow directions and therefore causing immediate danger to EVERYONE around? What then? I am especially worried about the dating scenario. Some people do know how to defend themselves and are not willing to be bullied or forced to socialize against their will, especially when it comes to their very personal lives. I was a substitute teacher and I will never work again because of such insanity. I am older and happily married so this is not part of my generation (X). But I do remember someone making unwanted advances to me and I remember the boxing lessons my uncle taught me. Some people may capitulate to this scenario while others definitely will not. Kudos to all of those brave, intelligent educators and parents who won’t bow down to this insanity. Bored teachers, thank you for such excellent and important issues you are presenting. Kudos also to all of the teachers and parents who want to make functioning, productive adults and are willing to push back. Again, Bored Teachers, YOU ROCK!
I had a principal who didn't allow us to use the word "no". We had also sorts of ways to say the word without actually saying it. When the fad passed, you should have seen the kids' faces when we started to say "no" again. I was a first grade teacher. I said "no" a lot!
Oh, my God, I have a friend like this. She’s gotten worse over the years, and unfortunately, it’s affected our friendship to the point where we don’t really talk anymore. However, she’s raised her daughter in this environment and it’s had some serious negative impact on how this little girl has turned out. I remember one time Emily had burned her hand badly and her daughter had grabbed it, causing her to flinch. All I said, in a very nice gentle tone, was “Anna don’t do that sweetie because mommy’s hand is burned, and that hurts her.” You would have thought that I had screamed or let loose a flood of profanities at this child. Who by the way was like eight or nine at a time. Emily gave me this look and said “don’t tell her that!” because she thought it would give her trauma. This little girl was never told no. Instead, every conversation was some sort of reasoning exercise. Her entitled attitude has seriously affected her ability to make social connections with her peers throughout her entire school years. Now she’s almost 18, has been to therapy numerous times, still has problems making friends, and has never had a job because she’s too filled with social anxiety to even go in to ask for an application. Oh, and she also refuses to drive because she sees no need for it when her parents take her everywhere. 🤦🏻♀️I realize not every child will end up like this given this sort of raising, and this might be an extreme case, but this is just been my experience of a child being raised without boundaries and too much coddling.
I just had a situation like this yesterday. I’m a music teacher and a second grader (whom I’ve had in my class since kindergarten) decided to start slamming her drum up and down onto the floor. I told her “Excuse me, do not slam my drum on the floor, use your hands like you’re supposed to “. Didn’t scream at her, she didn’t lose any privileges, she was welcome to participate for the rest of the lesson. However, this student sobbed for the next 20 minutes throughout class even long after the drums were put away. Asked her teacher later if something was going on with this student to make her react this way, she said she didn’t think so. So we both asked her what she was crying for, this student wails over the entire class “YOU TOLD ME NO!” Seriously, I’m done.
When I was an aide at my college’s on campus pre-k, I was called over by the directing teachers and was told that I couldn’t tell the children that something wasn’t “OK.” Their reasoning was that the children didn’t know what that meant. Am I wrong to think that this was absurd? 🤔🤦🏼♀️
Not saying “no” is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! Many years ago, I was taught that allowing a kid to say no to something they did not like (obviously within reason) meant they grew up to understand that no meant no as adults (knowing you have the ability to say ‘no’ and others learn to except the word ‘no’ is an important part of life and sex education). But it goes both ways. If a kid learns that an adult can’t say know then as an adult will they accept ‘no’ when doing bad things or will they think they can’t say ‘no’ as an adult now??!
I read a story on Reddit about a mom who replaced the word "no" with the word "octopus" in front of her kid in an attempt to not create negative vibes, or some BS like that. This parent sounds EXACTLY like that first person.
I worked wih an older lady who would look at a preschooler during group time and ask the child if he/she needed to be alliviated. That was gold! The child didn't understand the word, but did understand the behavior should stop .
I'm a high school math teacher. If a parent told me that, I'd reply something like "Well, let's start some aversion therapy to help your child. I'll double his homework."
I am also guessing that no does not mean no anymore? Hmm… Me too movement, “ Boys will be boys”? “She was asking for it,…Anyone remember any of this? NO means NO! let us please not forget this important and weighted phrase! This is where it starts.
Guess what cops/ society are going to say to these kids? I say all the above words to my Sped students. It's only a trigger because they have not heard those words enough.
My daughter is on the autism spectrum. We were in a playgroup. One mom said her child was cured of autism 😂! Unless my child was around😮! Reminds me of her telling me your kid 🤣 gives my kid autism.
"I force my kid to not 'act weird' at home but she feels comfortable to be herself around your (similarly different) child. How dare you!" I can't with these people. How did you deal with that nonsense?
@llareia I was one of the founders we gave her a month to act right. Her husband started bringing the kid, and we never saw mom again. Also, my child was verbal in therapy. Ironically, dad got custody, and the girl got better
I was worried the wild parent requests were going to be any simple thing the parent asks and I was going to get irritated, but dang these really are some WILD requests.
"...can you refrain from using these words at school?" "No, I don't think so; stop being silly and sit down." Also, sure, I won't force your child to say, "please, or thank-you." However his choice to not use these words (for anything non-essential) may affect how I respond to his requests.
We need to see BETTER PARENTING.....Too many kids runnimg their parents and I see the government does too. These new parents are just Crappy. I would never date a woman with children now of days..😮😮
Well now I know that I was raised in a completely different era. When I would lose at the game of FA&FO my dad would always ask Did you learn something, stupid? Not the nicest thing to say, but it would make me not cry & yes I did learn to not do whatever foolishness I'd been doing. My parents knew they could take me out in public and the only thing my teachers took issue with is that I was always reading.
When I was in college I worked at a daycare. I did have parents tell me not to use the word "no" to their children. I was told is was too strong of a word.
So, kids can say no to us, but we can't say no to them? Sure, makes perfect sense. I'm glad that I work in a school where that's not a hard and fast rule. We're supposed to find other ways to say it, but we don't get reprimanded or anything (as far as I've seen) for saying no.
As a preschool teacher I have also been instructed to limit my use of negative wording. It’s not intended to mean you coddle them or let them do anything they want, but there is supposed to be a psychology behind instead saying what you DO want from them. So instead of “no running/yelling,” say, “use your walking feet/ inside voice” I am not a psychologist, I have no idea what studies or facts this may or may not be based on 🤷🏻♀️ just what we’re trained to do
I worked at a daycare, and we were trained to respond in the same way. But we weren't prohibited from using the words "no" or "don't". We especially used no or don't with egregious behavior such as biting. Eg "we do NOT bite our friends. That is not OK!"
What I know is that the word no is a contract breaking word. Demons hate that word. It is a strong word that enforces a boundary. If you don't tell a child no, you're priming them as a vessel for indwelling demons. They will not have empathy and will grow up to be entitled. If for some reason they are taken to a different environment where people say no, it's going to hurt them and they will perceive it as a rejection of their entire self instead of isolating the rejected behaviour from their being.
What I know is that the word no is a contract breaking word. Dem ons hate that word. It is a strong word that enforces a boundary. If you don't tell a child no, you're priming them as a vessel for indwelling dem ons. They will not have empathy and will grow up to be entitled. If for some reason they are taken to a different environment where people say no, it's going to hurt them and they will perceive it as a rejection of their entire self instead of isolating the rejected behaviour from their being.
@@christinelambert6318 That makes a lot of sense. Use it to highlight the urgency. We weren't strictly prohibited, just to try not to overuse it. But I like your way
This happened to me years ago when I told a child during my training what he was doing was naughty I was told “We don’t use that word” this was a child who was 4 years old and threatening to dismember the head teacher.
Working in retail I’ve seen my fair share of badly behaved kids, pet hate? The parent says to kid ‘oh look, the lady is going to tell you off for doing that’ No, no I am not, not my job, not my kid, if said child is in danger of being injured? I’ll warn the parent and after that of the little darling gets hurt it’s not on me
Had a 12 y/o boy throwing a ball against the walls at a store. As a clerk I told him to stop. An older hispanic woman gave me the evil eye for telling the boy what to do and was upset amd watching our interaction until the boy stopped and went away. Come to find out when I had to hop on register that he wasn't even her kid! She was a random (I'll call her Maria instead of Karen) who was not minding her own business and didn't want the boy being told anything 🙄
@@priscillajimenez27 we once had a kid running riot in the store, warned his Mother several times that he could hurt himself but she ignored us until he actually gashed his leg open after breaking some glasses at which point she started screaming at the staff for their negligence 🤦♀️
It's insane the things parents are asking/demanding for them to do outside of instruction time. Imagine if every kid in the class has a special request and just for giggles, let's pretend the teacher goes along with it. It would take all day, and the kids would learn nothing, ever. "No is a powerful word."
My son and daughter in law are both teachers. Son teaches high school but daughter in law teaches 1st grade. Boy have I heard the stories. These stories are real even if they sound preposterous. Some parents are missing a few screws.
Is this real? Are these comments truly real? I hear this and I'm slightly embarrassed to be a parent! No wonder teachers and parents don't have the relationship we had in the 80s & 90s!
I heard from a friend about a school that literally doesn't let teachers defend themselves if a student is being physically violent. They have to just repeatedly say "No, friend. I don't like that," in a neutral voice. No touching the student, no yelling, no nothing. Fuck that noise!
So many of our public schools in Indianapolis restrict negative speech in favor of positive redirection to alternate choices. We raised our kids on "No", "Stop!", "Don't", "Quit", and "Not". When my wife was told not to use any negative speech, she re-engineered the whole protocol. "If you do that, I will help you understand a better choice with my hands!" "I see you need my help to make a better choice!" "I told you once to do something else, and this is entirely different than what I TOLD YOU to do." "I WILL move your body if you choose to stay still after I tell you to move!" "Go ahead an run from me. I positively love the chase! But when I catch you, I get to eat you."
One day, that last one was heard by a roaming admin observer. She returned with the resource officer, the facility head, and a sub for replacement. The admin lady asked my wife point blacnk, "Did you tell that child that you would eat him if he made you chase him?" My wife answered, "Yes, because I'm the lion, and they are all precious little lambs." Turning to her preschool class, she asked, "Who are lambs?" They all started bleeting like little sheep, which was cute and adorable. Without missing a beat, my wife asked over the herd of lambkins, ""And who am I?" They all replied in a disjointed unison, "You're the lion!!" and made the cutest roaring sounds you've ever heard. She turned back to the admin, and smiled, "See? I'm a lion." "What do lions do?" she asked without looking away from the seething admin. "EAT LAMBS!" the collective responded gleefully, and punctuated it with eating noises.
The admin and crew turned and walked away without retort or report. But the teacher across the hall came in and said she heard the entire thing, and laughed so hard she broke her bra.
I teach in Indy as well (IPS). I gotta ask, which District was this in?
@@carenlettofsky3045 It was either Lawrence pre K, or a Lilly employees preschool facility.
This is the best comment I’ve ever read 😂
@@lizzhuddle6224 My wife is an early childhood development goddess, and I worship the ground she treads. This is one of my favorite stories about her in the classroom. There are more like this.
Please. Please, please, share her stories. They make this world a better place@@SmartMoufShirts
Dear Parents- if you don't want to raise your kids, don't have any! There are many different types of birth control on the market. It's NOT teacher's job to do it for you. If you're afraid your kid will be taught manners, told no, or anything else, you need to homeschool them and deal with them yourself! Folks wonder what's wrong with some of these kids! It begins at home. Shout out to all of our dedicated educators- we see you!
Best response EVER! I agree 💯
As a teacher my response to all those emails (especially the first one) would be, "No."
“Hell no!”
I work as a teaching assistant, we had a student who we were not supposed to confront at all when he did something wrong, not supposed to say no or hey don't do that. Kid was an absolute nightmare. We just started calling the principal everyday to deal with him since we were told not to tell him no. Here you deal with it then.
I left teaching assistant five years ago
“Can my son stay with y-“. “NO!” 😂😂 😂
NO. GOD NO.
NOOOOOOO
I need friends like the lady doing the hair. She's straight up, honest, and seems like a lot of fun 😊
She straight up reminds in the looks, humor, and mannerisms looks a lot like my PCP. I even showed her a pic of the teacher. She thinks they may favor a bit.
How can these parents look themselves in the mirror and not laugh?!
Because they’re not human.
I wish you were joking, but I know you aren't!😂😂😂
I'm so grateful for teachers. I could never do this job.
No is the most important word a child can hear.
No is a full sentence.
Meanwhile, No is the worst word a teacher can hear from a child.
In college I took a child psychology course and the elimination of negative words was taught. I had two small children and I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my seat. How is a child supposed to learn boundaries and respect without being told no or don’t do that. My children were taught respect and I was never ashamed of taking them anywhere.
“We don’t say the word ‘consequence’ or anything which might be interpreted as ‘negative’ “ quoth the admin and school counselor at my school. “We just try to be everyone’s friend in all things and build a relationship with them. That way, they won’t choose to misbehave. You’re just too old school.” That’s when I knew it was time to go…
I worked at a school like that once. 😄 It wasn't funny while I was there but I knew the whole no consequence thing would bite them in the ass. Before transfering, I was treated like a blacksheep by admin and other teachers until that toxic thinking began to impact them. Suddenly comments went from, "What's wrong with you?" to, "How did you manage without support and without losing your head?" I laughed at the irony of them asking the one they ridiculed. 😂 I also shrugged my shoulders and laughed when I left. ☺️
That happened to me too! I quit. I still have moments where I'm still angry after leaving mid contract. I teach adults now. Pro tip: colleges will close the class, separate the students and kick out the worst offenders. All while taking everybody's money. The real world is no joke.
I subbed once at a school where the teachers were not allowed to say "no." I was flabbergasted and told them that I was going to say no and they were more than capable of finding another sub if they wished.
It was a TK class (4 years old) and only half of them knew English. How they thought any teacher could go for 7 hours and not say "no" was astounding.
My Spanish sadly sucks, but happily no is multilingual.😂
I have had parents tell me their child's behavior was caused by one of my staff saying "NO". I usually look at them blankly , say nothing , let them get uncomfortable and then put it on their laps " well, they better learn the word and how to handle it then".
Tell him "yes" and hand him an Uno reverse card.
You two are the best!!!!
Don't say please. No problem, you obviously don't want it enough so you don't get it. And thank you? Take it back if he isn't happy enough with it to be thankful. Do that enough and he'll start to mean it and want to say it! 😉 😂😂😂
Exactly
I try to cut down the no and don't because when you say don't run the word the kid focuses on is 'run' but if you say slow down or walk inside they get the message more clearly. But blanket rules of never use negative words is bound to fail, especially in emergencies or other unusual situations.
There you go, having common sense again… 😂
Do you know how many district pre-school programs are not allowed to say 'no'......and then the kiddos get into kindergarten and start having meltdowns when the teacher says no, don't, stop......go figure? 😕
You two laughing together is the best!!
I worked at a daycare where we couldn't say no either so they told us to say instead of No, " hey little Timmy I know that you want to run out into the middle of the street but how about instead of doing that we play on the jungle gym" it used to irritate me to know end, it one of the reasons I quit.
By the time you got all of that out of your mouth, little Timmy would've been taken out of this world by a semi.
This is thanks to quality rated. Ever since they came along, kids get away with so much. I work at a preschool too. We're going through quality rated now and we have to pretty much let the kids do what they want and redirect them when they are out of control.
I left my early childhood course after I got in trouble for saying “no” when a toddler tried to stick something in the uncovered electrical socket in the toddler room.
A close family member did this with her children. They often demand things and rarely say please and thank you. But the family member does the same thing. It’s a respect thing that colors our interactions. My understanding was that this family member didn’t think it was sincere or unnecessarily forced their kids to say things they didn’t want to say. I may have that wrong-never understood their reasoning. Some things must be demonstrated and enforced because it isn’t always obvious to kids. My SO and I use it between ourselves in our own home. It’s important. I knew it mattered when, while watching a friend’s young daughter, the 5-year-old commented that her mom and dad didn’t speak to each other like my spouse and I did/do.
Your family members kids are going to be an absolute delight to have in the workplace I can tell, so much so no one will want to work with them
I used to give my nephews presents until they were old enough to say thank you themselves and wouldn't do it. Then I quit giving presents.
My two faves together again!
The both of you are hilarious together. Keep up the joint shows
I used to work at a daycare center. I was in the 18-24 month room. We were not allowed to tell them no. Exact quote from the director, when she heard me tell a kid no, cause he was pulling another kids hair, “we do not tell them no, it will hurt their feelings”. 4 days later, the same kid that was pulling the hair, scratched the same kid, the mom of the kid came into the room pissed, because her child was scratched, demanding I tell her which kid it was that scratched her son. I just kept repeating that she can talk to the director, cause by law I was not allowed to give out that information. I think I lasted all of 3 weeks at that job.
And the parent and the director had a real nice positive conversation about the word no, right?
@@kellygirlaj I’d like to say they did, but I think it was another day or 2 before I just left on lunch and never went back. Took them till the end of the day to notice that I hadn’t returned, and called my house. I just couldn’t handle the insanity there.
A parent told me that saying "please" is begging, and her children will not say that.
My daughter in law believes that please is begging and thank you is pandering. At the grandparent's house (my house) we use these words regularly and ask that our granddaughter also uses them.
😱What a sick mother!
To that I say...🤮🤢🤮. Twice. 😂😂 Try that some places; I wish I could be the fly on the wall to see the response. 😂😂
Making a conceited monster
once again you 2 are comedy gold...love it xx
Love these videos !! Thank you!!
😂😂😂😂 omg i love y'all 2 so much . these are my favorite type of videos
I don’t know how to make it any clearer. WE DO NOT DO 💩!!!!!
They need oxygen when they laugh that hard!
Desist!!
I insisted that my sons, students, and now my nephew says "please" & "thank you".
You’re raising them right
My mom did the same with me
My niece is an elementary teacher in Huntsville, AL. The teachers cannot say no. They can’t discipline the kids, even if they are destroying school property. What the actual we-are-raising-criminals hell is this society coming to?
it’s a hot mess
@@SharonHutchins-ve1cx My godmother was a librarian for an elementary school that was in an “affluent district” and OMG, the audacity of the kids there was like nothing I had ever seen before. She said that a 5th grader had been caught on hallway camera coming out of the boys room, of course this was after the incident, but he had ripped the soap dispenser off of the wall, making a huge mess in the bathroom. Put the broken soap dispenser IN his book bag and walked out and went out to the bus. I’m not sure what he was thinking there, cause there was a trail of soap, leaking out of his bag. His parents were called into the office with him on Monday after the cameras had been reviewed, and the parents would not take responsibility, in fact they knew he did it, but did not say anything because “he had pee wee football Super Bowl game to go to” the next day. Like I’m thinking, “honey if you don’t control you kid now, college scholarships ain’t coming his way”
@mandaleigh98 😂 I've seen the like and I agree with you. The sad thing is so many still value winning, the loudest screamer, and the outside factor over being ethical or hurting someones feelings by holding the accountableforntheir choice(s). I wonder if schools still pay to cover the shenanigans plus hire someone to write essays? 🤔 Won't win in life without integrity though.
That's why I left teaching back in 2019 from upstate
Instead of “no” we shall say “cease!”
Why don't these parents want their children to have good manners? 😮
Just say: "could you do something else?" And then watch the kid say "no". Lol
I love y’all. Thank you for being teachers. You should be paid a million dollars a year……..I could never do your job.
Y'all have the best laughs ever! And clearly the material to laugh at 😂😂😂
That laughing is epic😂😂😂😂
When I was in my 20s, I taught swim lessons with a guy who had worked at a place that did not say “No” or “Stop” or any other things like that. Apparently, it was connected to a university that studied how positive language worked better. I used to ask him all the time, what are you going to do when a kid runs in the road?? You can’t have a conversation with a kid then - you yell Stop! And then they get a consequence if they do it again. He also didn’t believe in time outs or any sort of consequences. 😢
I had a 4 years old kid throw something at me and hit me when I was working in home. He laughed. I said “I’m not going to play anymore until you say sorry.” He had a three hour tantrum with his mother cradling him. And then he said “I shouldn’t have to say those words in my own house!” What in the 60 year old man in a five year old body? And mom supported him!
Yes most of the time the parents are absolutely the problem.
I like this approach because it doesn't matter to you if they apologize or not. It's just a fact you don't associate with rude people of any age.
If this is "his house", the mother should give him the bills to "his house" and expect him to pay them every month, on time and in full.
That’s not even a rule. That’s a well set personal boundary!
And mom just wait until he is an older teenager and he starts abusing you and don't think he won't because he will.
You two are KILLING me! 😂😂😂😂😂
Ok. I’ll say Hey?!, YO?!, What!?, Why??!!!Refrain… and Yield Instead. 😂😂😂😂
I am just jealous of the hair love! I want a teacher buddy to do my hair! LOL!
Although I think that story of the mother who handled that situation with utter brilliance is absolutely fantastic and effective, I wonder and worry about a few things. What happens when a child who is never told no gets out into the real world of dating, working and interacting with other adults, does this mean when that child wants to play with another child or date a person, make a friend, follow the directions of a work supervisor? The other child MUST play with the one who does not accept no. Does a person HAVE to go on a date or be friends with someone for the same reason. And lastly when one is at work, can they refuse to do a task or follow specific and important directions. Boss- that chemical is not stable and you cannot mix it with this one under any circumstances and the worker doesn’t really FEEL like the boss is respectful of their choice not to follow directions and therefore causing immediate danger to EVERYONE around? What then? I am especially worried about the dating scenario. Some people do know how to defend themselves and are not willing to be bullied or forced to socialize against their will, especially when it comes to their very personal lives. I was a substitute teacher and I will never work again because of such insanity. I am older and happily married so this is not part of my generation (X). But I do remember someone making unwanted advances to me and I remember the boxing lessons my uncle taught me. Some people may capitulate to this scenario while others definitely will not. Kudos to all of those brave, intelligent educators and parents who won’t bow down to this insanity. Bored teachers, thank you for such excellent and important issues you are presenting. Kudos also to all of the teachers and parents who want to make functioning, productive adults and are willing to push back. Again, Bored Teachers, YOU ROCK!
I had a principal who didn't allow us to use the word "no". We had also sorts of ways to say the word without actually saying it. When the fad passed, you should have seen the kids' faces when we started to say "no" again. I was a first grade teacher. I said "no" a lot!
lol I love this whole video by those parents that gentle parenting and I agree with this video
I laughed so hard! I was waiting for you to burn her hair off because you were distracted! lol
I love these two 😂
Oh, my God, I have a friend like this. She’s gotten worse over the years, and unfortunately, it’s affected our friendship to the point where we don’t really talk anymore. However, she’s raised her daughter in this environment and it’s had some serious negative impact on how this little girl has turned out. I remember one time Emily had burned her hand badly and her daughter had grabbed it, causing her to flinch. All I said, in a very nice gentle tone, was “Anna don’t do that sweetie because mommy’s hand is burned, and that hurts her.” You would have thought that I had screamed or let loose a flood of profanities at this child. Who by the way was like eight or nine at a time. Emily gave me this look and said “don’t tell her that!” because she thought it would give her trauma. This little girl was never told no. Instead, every conversation was some sort of reasoning exercise. Her entitled attitude has seriously affected her ability to make social connections with her peers throughout her entire school years. Now she’s almost 18, has been to therapy numerous times, still has problems making friends, and has never had a job because she’s too filled with social anxiety to even go in to ask for an application. Oh, and she also refuses to drive because she sees no need for it when her parents take her everywhere. 🤦🏻♀️I realize not every child will end up like this given this sort of raising, and this might be an extreme case, but this is just been my experience of a child being raised without boundaries and too much coddling.
Instead of no, say don't be stupid by doing that
I just had a situation like this yesterday. I’m a music teacher and a second grader (whom I’ve had in my class since kindergarten) decided to start slamming her drum up and down onto the floor. I told her “Excuse me, do not slam my drum on the floor, use your hands like you’re supposed to “. Didn’t scream at her, she didn’t lose any privileges, she was welcome to participate for the rest of the lesson. However, this student sobbed for the next 20 minutes throughout class even long after the drums were put away. Asked her teacher later if something was going on with this student to make her react this way, she said she didn’t think so. So we both asked her what she was crying for, this student wails over the entire class “YOU TOLD ME NO!” Seriously, I’m done.
I taught K-12 music 20 years ago couldn’t handle it then. we could say no though I wouldn’t last a day now. So I teach piano God bless you!
You two together is the best
When I was an aide at my college’s on campus pre-k, I was called over by the directing teachers and was told that I couldn’t tell the children that something wasn’t “OK.” Their reasoning was that the children didn’t know what that meant. Am I wrong to think that this was absurd? 🤔🤦🏼♀️
Not saying “no” is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! Many years ago, I was taught that allowing a kid to say no to something they did not like (obviously within reason) meant they grew up to understand that no meant no as adults (knowing you have the ability to say ‘no’ and others learn to except the word ‘no’ is an important part of life and sex education). But it goes both ways. If a kid learns that an adult can’t say know then as an adult will they accept ‘no’ when doing bad things or will they think they can’t say ‘no’ as an adult now??!
I read a story on Reddit about a mom who replaced the word "no" with the word "octopus" in front of her kid in an attempt to not create negative vibes, or some BS like that. This parent sounds EXACTLY like that first person.
I'd love to see the inside of that home. 😂
We need more of these videos!
love you ladies
That please & thank you thing. I don't let my niece get off the bus until she has thanked the driver.
I worked wih an older lady who would look at a preschooler during group time and ask the child if he/she needed to be alliviated. That was gold! The child didn't understand the word, but did understand the behavior should stop .
Today, a math teacher colleague of mine received an email from an angry parent who insisted no homework be given to her son because it triggers him,
Maybe the parent should try that strategy on her boss.
I'm a high school math teacher. If a parent told me that, I'd reply something like "Well, let's start some aversion therapy to help your child. I'll double his homework."
Hope he is independently wealthy if work triggers him.
If homework triggers him, the rest of the class gets his homework plus their own. I bet his classmates will give him The Look and he'll get homework.
This video may my day. I laugh that what the parents had to say.
I am also guessing that no does not mean no anymore? Hmm… Me too movement, “ Boys will be boys”? “She was asking for it,…Anyone remember any of this? NO means NO! let us please not forget this important and weighted phrase! This is where it starts.
I was told this same mess years ago when I was a beginning teacher! I was so p***ed! It made me question my abilities as a teacher! WTF!
Guess what cops/ society are going to say to these kids? I say all the above words to my Sped students. It's only a trigger because they have not heard those words enough.
My daughter is on the autism spectrum.
We were in a playgroup.
One mom said her child was cured of autism 😂!
Unless my child was around😮!
Reminds me of her telling me your kid 🤣 gives my kid autism.
"I force my kid to not 'act weird' at home but she feels comfortable to be herself around your (similarly different) child. How dare you!"
I can't with these people. How did you deal with that nonsense?
@llareia I was one of the founders we gave her a month to act right. Her husband started bringing the kid, and we never saw mom again.
Also, my child was verbal in therapy. Ironically, dad got custody, and the girl got better
I guess her kid is copying
@priscillajimenez27 this was 15 year's ago
I was worried the wild parent requests were going to be any simple thing the parent asks and I was going to get irritated, but dang these really are some WILD requests.
"...can you refrain from using these words at school?"
"No, I don't think so; stop being silly and sit down."
Also, sure, I won't force your child to say, "please, or thank-you." However his choice to not use these words (for anything non-essential) may affect how I respond to his requests.
Well said.
We need to see BETTER PARENTING.....Too many kids runnimg their parents and I see the government does too. These new parents are just Crappy.
I would never date a woman with children now of days..😮😮
‘Can you please refrain from saying No to my son?’ No!
We can all thank quality rated for this.
Well now I know that I was raised in a completely different era. When I would lose at the game of FA&FO my dad would always ask Did you learn something, stupid? Not the nicest thing to say, but it would make me not cry & yes I did learn to not do whatever foolishness I'd been doing. My parents knew they could take me out in public and the only thing my teachers took issue with is that I was always reading.
When I was in college I worked at a daycare. I did have parents tell me not to use the word "no" to their children. I was told is was too strong of a word.
With patents like that, no wonder the western world is crumbling..
So, kids can say no to us, but we can't say no to them? Sure, makes perfect sense.
I'm glad that I work in a school where that's not a hard and fast rule. We're supposed to find other ways to say it, but we don't get reprimanded or anything (as far as I've seen) for saying no.
As a preschool teacher I have also been instructed to limit my use of negative wording. It’s not intended to mean you coddle them or let them do anything they want, but there is supposed to be a psychology behind instead saying what you DO want from them. So instead of “no running/yelling,” say, “use your walking feet/ inside voice” I am not a psychologist, I have no idea what studies or facts this may or may not be based on 🤷🏻♀️ just what we’re trained to do
I worked at a daycare, and we were trained to respond in the same way. But we weren't prohibited from using the words "no" or "don't". We especially used no or don't with egregious behavior such as biting. Eg "we do NOT bite our friends. That is not OK!"
What I know is that the word no is a contract breaking word. Demons hate that word. It is a strong word that enforces a boundary. If you don't tell a child no, you're priming them as a vessel for indwelling demons. They will not have empathy and will grow up to be entitled. If for some reason they are taken to a different environment where people say no, it's going to hurt them and they will perceive it as a rejection of their entire self instead of isolating the rejected behaviour from their being.
What I know is that the word no is a contract breaking word. Dem ons hate that word. It is a strong word that enforces a boundary. If you don't tell a child no, you're priming them as a vessel for indwelling dem ons. They will not have empathy and will grow up to be entitled. If for some reason they are taken to a different environment where people say no, it's going to hurt them and they will perceive it as a rejection of their entire self instead of isolating the rejected behaviour from their being.
@@christinelambert6318 That makes a lot of sense. Use it to highlight the urgency. We weren't strictly prohibited, just to try not to overuse it. But I like your way
I force my kids to say Please and Thank you. I DO NOT force them to say I Forgive You. Forgiveness must be earned.
This happened to me years ago when I told a child during my training what he was doing was naughty I was told “We don’t use that word” this was a child who was 4 years old and threatening to dismember the head teacher.
We got dinged for saying "no" during ECRES or TPOT (early childhood setting) observations by the state.
Tell me “No” is a complex word without telling me 😂
Working in retail I’ve seen my fair share of badly behaved kids, pet hate? The parent says to kid ‘oh look, the lady is going to tell you off for doing that’ No, no I am not, not my job, not my kid, if said child is in danger of being injured? I’ll warn the parent and after that of the little darling gets hurt it’s not on me
Had a 12 y/o boy throwing a ball against the walls at a store. As a clerk I told him to stop. An older hispanic woman gave me the evil eye for telling the boy what to do and was upset amd watching our interaction until the boy stopped and went away. Come to find out when I had to hop on register that he wasn't even her kid! She was a random (I'll call her Maria instead of Karen) who was not minding her own business and didn't want the boy being told anything 🙄
@@priscillajimenez27 That's a demonized person. You ought to rebuke them in the name of Jesus.
@@priscillajimenez27 we once had a kid running riot in the store, warned his Mother several times that he could hurt himself but she ignored us until he actually gashed his leg open after breaking some glasses at which point she started screaming at the staff for their negligence 🤦♀️
It's insane the things parents are asking/demanding for them to do outside of instruction time. Imagine if every kid in the class has a special request and just for giggles, let's pretend the teacher goes along with it. It would take all day, and the kids would learn nothing, ever. "No is a powerful word."
Well he just gonna have to be triggered
My son and daughter in law are both teachers. Son teaches high school but daughter in law teaches 1st grade. Boy have I heard the stories. These stories are real even if they sound preposterous. Some parents are missing a few screws.
0:03 my response to that parent: no ……..
Yes, written into one of an IEP...
Maybe if you used the word more, they would learn to cope with "no" and not get triggered!
Is this real? Are these comments truly real? I hear this and I'm slightly embarrassed to be a parent! No wonder teachers and parents don't have the relationship we had in the 80s & 90s!
My kids here no about 100 times a day. In between reminders to say please and thank you. Because I dont want them to grow up to be rude spoiled brats!
This shit is hilarious. Who is raising these children? 🤦🏻♀️ No, I was not a perfect parent, but come on.
Got fired from a preschool that did this… obviously
I worked in a day care where we weren't allowed to say no. 12 2 years Olds by myself, how was that supposed to work?
No comment - verbally
(((shake)))😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My friend works at a daycare and they are legally not allowed to use words like no and stop, etc.
I heard from a friend about a school that literally doesn't let teachers defend themselves if a student is being physically violent. They have to just repeatedly say "No, friend. I don't like that," in a neutral voice. No touching the student, no yelling, no nothing. Fuck that noise!
You gonna be doing her hair every episode because she can do your hair too sometimes!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Can’t use turn around!! Use face me. Retired teacher here!