I’ll never regret getting my degree while still with my abuser. Oh he hated it. I threw the graduation party at my house and he refused to come outside and meet any of my classmates. I graduated 3rd in my class but on the night of my graduation we went directly home. No dinner out, nothing said. But having my children come up on stage to hug me when I was getting pinned meant the world to me. That degree has afforded me financial freedom. I went through a horrendous divorce just as my mother was passing away and he out lawyered me, stole what he could and did everything he could to ruin everyone against me. I learned who was really my friend and moved on with my life. I’ve worked and built a life of my own and am planning my retirement in a few years with not only Social Security but a pension too. I have 5 grandkids that I see often and they’re happy when they see me. I don’t live with abuse anymore and I don’t tolerate toxic behavior.
Yes. I went thru much the same - had a hard time understanding it - I helped him preparing for his future employment after he returned home military deployment ! He also had PTSD from Vietnam. I wish things had been different but we didn’t get help back then & it was not a declared war which it was a reason we didn’t as well . We had a son then I divorced him eventually. He treated me badly due to bitterness & sadly he did emotional damage to our son. I tried but our son is deceased today due to health reasons & alcoholism! Mike called his father before he died. He told me he was going to take the high road & do the right thing! He asked his Dad to forgive him if he had offended him- My heart broke because I knew it was his Dad who should have asked forgiveness of him , but I was proud of Michael! His Dad had months prior done something really wrong to reject his son. Mike was devastated & I told him to forgive his Dad that there was something mentally wrong w him . Michael called me before he passed 2,000 miles away to pray days before he passed & we prayed❣️🙌🏽❤️🙏🏼🕊. I called his Dad after his passing to notify him but when I called back he never answered nor did he offer to help w Michael’s funeral arrangements? I could only afford to have him cremated & it made me so sad that he rejected his paternal responsibility! But I forgive him as an act of my faith . So sad as he fought me for custody , caused so much emotional damage & then was never there when Mike needed his help & even then upon Michael’s passing? So hard to understand. 😢 Michael’s with the Lord but I miss him dearly ! And still never heard from his Dad. So much unnecessary pain caused ? Only criticism never offering help & he could afford it ? My career cut short due to an accident otherwise I would have stepped up . 😢 I married him young before he went to Vietnam - I met him when I was 15 . Michael said his Dad still loved me but ? What a way to show it ? Tip: Don’t ever take emotional or physical abuse. Life’s too short & it hurts & damages not only you but the kids ! Now I’m helping those victims who are in need ❣️🙌🏽❤️🙏🏼🕊
My mother! told me to go back to my ex even after he put his hands on me in front of our children and I had him arrested. "He is your husband." Not anymore!
Donna's story is so similar to mine it's incredible. I was with my husband for 17 years had three children, two of which were his. The first ten years were fine until he started drinking and then turned into a completely different person. It's devastating when the person you married and thought they loved you, ends up physically and verbally abusing you.
You might lose a lot of yourself, your stuff, furniture, clothes and such, but you gain your safety, your freedom and most of all, your self. It's a good trade-off. I know.
I relate to this so much. I had great credit and no debt when I married him. He claimed I had poor credit. I started to believe him and even stopped paying bills to make it true.
Thank you for this video. After 30 years of these relationships, I finally see since what the lady with glasses says, all fits perfectly from the verbal insults to having a hard time seeing what it is. My mother was also in an abusive relationship so that fits aswell. She never got out, Im stronger and smarter so I have but the abuser still lives across from me and I cant move so theres that.
The womans' resource centre is often a woman's first eye-opener to women's issues and resources in the community. Over the years, I used many of this type of organization to deal with my problems and to change my life for the better. Support for these resources is vital!🦊🦊
It doesn’t work that way or nobody will stay in an abusive relationship. It’s little by little, you don’t even realize what is going on. The gaslighting behind your back, the putting you down etc
The domestic abuse system is so flawed nowadays. These videos most online videos/teachings/social media don't help. It's always the same call the hotline, speak with your local advocate. Go to a shelter, call police. Doesn't work. I'm still stuck living with a narcissistic father with psychopathy traits, beyond deep in coercive control, it's every day! We need street smart advice. Harsh words - to get victims like me OUT. I rather have someone tell me to just get the fuck OUT!!!! ..leavve leave gooo goo get out that door. No FEAR!! do it!!!! he's got a gun- SO WHAT! move out anyway. No one tells me that. So I tell it to myself- and now I'm on my way - TO GET OUT, no matter how dangerous. -with a one way ticket soon, I'll just walk away. Sometimes you just got to GOOOOOOOOO. I am deadly trapped, so I have to take drastic steps. No matter what.
All women / men eed to have what I call " running away money " Which for my MIL was for her just meant $$ for just it was just her OWN PRIVATE MONEY . But if you are in a bad relationship it could be a true life threatening necessity. .. 12:36 I am a retired RN BSN. I worked a 7p- 7am shift, 3 days in a row , with a mandatory 4 hr or 8 hr extra thrown in shift 2x a month . I ³would have at least 2 times a month. whereupon I would i go to a hotel for a good nnites sleep n also I order a great breakfast. I would have reached a point where I was just I just felt like I was just done in !!!÷
Sounds like a narcissist...I live with one, doesn't talk to me, or listen to anything I have to say. It's barely tolerable, but because he's not hitting me, it's hard to define. The key with all these survivor stories is getting some councelling, & asking yourself. ..are you happy, is he/she supportive of your happiness, your goals, your dreams ? I would suggest you explore what you want, & is your partner supportive ? Try councelling to help you define your goals, help your self esteem, & make a plan...in case you decide you've had enough. I'm in a similar situation, & trying to get financially ready for independence. Good luck, & God be with you.
I’ll never regret getting my degree while still with my abuser. Oh he hated it. I threw the graduation party at my house and he refused to come outside and meet any of my classmates. I graduated 3rd in my class but on the night of my graduation we went directly home. No dinner out, nothing said. But having my children come up on stage to hug me when I was getting pinned meant the world to me. That degree has afforded me financial freedom. I went through a horrendous divorce just as my mother was passing away and he out lawyered me, stole what he could and did everything he could to ruin everyone against me. I learned who was really my friend and moved on with my life. I’ve worked and built a life of my own and am planning my retirement in a few years with not only Social Security but a pension too. I have 5 grandkids that I see often and they’re happy when they see me. I don’t live with abuse anymore and I don’t tolerate toxic behavior.
Yes. I went thru much the same - had a hard time understanding it - I helped him preparing for his future employment after he returned home military deployment ! He also had PTSD from Vietnam. I wish things had been different but we didn’t get help back then & it was not a declared war which it was a reason we didn’t as well . We had a son then I divorced him eventually. He treated me badly due to bitterness & sadly he did emotional damage to our son. I tried but our son is deceased today due to health reasons & alcoholism! Mike called his father before he died. He told me he was going to take the high road & do the right thing! He asked his Dad to forgive him if he had offended him- My heart broke because I knew it was his Dad who should have asked forgiveness of him , but I was proud of Michael! His Dad had months prior done something really wrong to reject his son. Mike was devastated & I told him to forgive his Dad that there was something mentally wrong w him .
Michael called me before he passed 2,000 miles away to pray days before he passed & we prayed❣️🙌🏽❤️🙏🏼🕊. I called his Dad after his passing to notify him but when I called back he never answered nor did he offer to help w Michael’s funeral arrangements? I could only afford to have him cremated & it made me so sad that he rejected his paternal responsibility! But I forgive him as an act of my faith . So sad as he fought me for custody , caused so much emotional damage & then was never there when Mike needed his help & even then upon Michael’s passing? So hard to understand. 😢
Michael’s with the Lord but I miss him dearly ! And still never heard from his Dad. So much unnecessary pain caused ? Only criticism never offering help & he could afford it ? My career cut short due to an accident otherwise I would have stepped up . 😢
I married him young before he went to Vietnam - I met him when I was 15 . Michael said his Dad still loved me but ? What a way to show it ?
Tip: Don’t ever take emotional or physical abuse. Life’s too short & it hurts & damages not only you but the kids !
Now I’m helping those victims who are in need ❣️🙌🏽❤️🙏🏼🕊
Right on!
Its ok to be single . Its heaven ❤
ABUSERS ONLY GET WORSE AS THEY GET OLDER.
My mother! told me to go back to my ex even after he put his hands on me in front of our children and I had him arrested. "He is your husband." Not anymore!
Donna's story is so similar to mine it's incredible. I was with my husband for 17 years had three children, two of which were his. The first ten years were fine until he started drinking and then turned into a completely different person. It's devastating when the person you married and thought they loved you, ends up physically and verbally abusing you.
Amen to that. Mine was a 12 pack every night after work, and an 18 pack on weekends.
This is a constant everyday thing. Nonstop. They're devils.
Donna is so inspiring. What a lovely woman
A pure narcissist. It is not your fault. He will never change.
You might lose a lot of yourself, your stuff, furniture, clothes and such, but you gain your safety, your freedom and most of all, your self.
It's a good trade-off. I know.
I relate to this so much. I had great credit and no debt when I married him. He claimed I had poor credit. I started to believe him and even stopped paying bills to make it true.
Thank you for this video. After 30 years of these relationships, I finally see since what the lady with glasses says, all fits perfectly from the verbal insults to having a hard time seeing what it is. My mother was also in an abusive relationship so that fits aswell. She never got out, Im stronger and smarter so I have but the abuser still lives across from me and I cant move so theres that.
So glad you got out Donna. i did too.
Don’t make excuses for him
The womans' resource centre is often a woman's first eye-opener to women's issues and resources in the community. Over the years, I used many of this type of organization to deal with my problems and to change my life for the better. Support for these resources is vital!🦊🦊
Do you want people telling you you can't have your family, your dreams, your faith, your livelihood unless you chase them down.
It doesn’t work that way or nobody will stay in an abusive relationship. It’s little by little, you don’t even realize what is going on. The gaslighting behind your back, the putting you down etc
Me either.
The domestic abuse system is so flawed nowadays. These videos most online videos/teachings/social media don't help. It's always the same call the hotline, speak with your local advocate. Go to a shelter, call police. Doesn't work. I'm still stuck living with a narcissistic father with psychopathy traits, beyond deep in coercive control, it's every day! We need street smart advice. Harsh words - to get victims like me OUT. I rather have someone tell me to just get the fuck OUT!!!! ..leavve leave gooo goo get out that door. No FEAR!! do it!!!! he's got a gun- SO WHAT! move out anyway. No one tells me that. So I tell it to myself- and now I'm on my way - TO GET OUT, no matter how dangerous. -with a one way ticket soon, I'll just walk away. Sometimes you just got to GOOOOOOOOO. I am deadly trapped, so I have to take drastic steps. No matter what.
You're welcome.
All women / men eed to have what I call
" running away money "
Which for my MIL was for her just meant $$ for just it was just her OWN PRIVATE MONEY .
But if you are in a bad relationship it could be a true life threatening necessity. .. 12:36
I am a retired RN BSN. I worked a 7p- 7am shift, 3 days in a row , with a mandatory 4 hr or 8 hr extra thrown in shift 2x a month . I ³would have at least 2 times a month. whereupon I would i go to a hotel for a good nnites sleep n also I order a great breakfast.
I would have reached a point where I was just I just felt like I was just done in !!!÷
If your spouse barely talks to you and is only in the same room as you for maybe 3 hours out of the waking hours. Is this abuse?
Sounds like a narcissist...I live with one, doesn't talk to me, or listen to anything I have to say. It's barely tolerable, but because he's not hitting me, it's hard to define. The key with all these survivor stories is getting some councelling, & asking yourself. ..are you happy, is he/she supportive of your happiness, your goals, your dreams ? I would suggest you explore what you want, & is your partner supportive ? Try councelling to help you define your goals, help your self esteem, & make a plan...in case you decide you've had enough. I'm in a similar situation, & trying to get financially ready for independence. Good luck, & God be with you.
Yes. Silent treatment is ABUSE
Yes. Emotional abuse.
Enjoy life honey.