@@wiselioness322 I just started HRT at 30 and feel the same way. No idea how I made it this long without realizing I was suffering from dysphoria. I wish these kind of online resources existed when I was in high school.. they sure would have helped prevent a decade+ of suffering through my young adult years.
Yay. Me too. Started transitioning just after my 42nd b-day this year. Seems like there's a lot of us that are finally doing what we needed to do now that the toxicity of 80's/90's culture is behind us. I also can't believe I made it this long without having done so. Repression and masking are veeeery strong (and unhealthy) tools that I used.
I can concur on the "Hulk like rage" before transitioning. When you live 2 lives and burn the candle at both ends while self medicating, things had to change.
Princess, I think you are wonderful. Many of us have shared very similar stories as yours, to varying degrees. Your video is so authentic and vulnerable, it is a service to others like us, and the world at large, to show that we are real people, our existence is not dependent on the acceptance or understanding of others. My mom completely rejected me being a girl when I transitioned socially. I envy you being able to pass, I probably never will, but I'll also never go back to living as a boy, and what a relief, to just try my best to be myself. Blessings to you, and thanks for your channel. Cheers!
@@patjuskiw2418 Thank You! That is something I've always wanted from the girls and women in my life, to be accepted by them and seen as one of the girls. I was telling this to a new girl friend the other day, she told me she'd to be honored to have me join her as one of the girls. We were laying on towels in bikinis at the pool and talking, it was very fulfilling for me, and such a simple pleasure. Good things can happen for us. Women can be very accepting of us at times. Thank you!
As an adolescent, I had this sense that things were a bit 'off' with me.. but I didn't have the knowledge or words to describe what I was experiencing. My egg finally cracked at 29, and at 30 I just started HRT to begin my medical transition. Things are slow going.. but I'm happy to finally feel a lift in my chronic anxiety and depression that's been ever-present since puberty blindsided me. I appreciate your honesty and raw emotion displayed here. ♥
Princess, thank you for being vulnerable and trusting the world with your story. That took so much bravery and courage to do, I am so proud of you for standing up and being who you are. You deserve all the love, empathy, and validation this world has to offer. Continue to stay strong, to be who you are; and I believe that good things will come your way. Please don’t give up on yourself because you deserve to be here. Wishing you all the best. *e-hug*
with every video you make you help me a lot, I have been on HRT for 9 months and I plan to make similar videos like yours in my own language, thank you so much again ❤❤
Thank you for everything you've given us. Please know that you're doing so much for the community and that you're a blessing. I'm so happy for you and I want you to know that we all appreciate you. Your videos are life saving.
You are a complete and total inspiration. Full stop... You say you're not ready to give advice in that, yet, so let me help you: You are who you say you are. You are valid and worthy of love and respect. It's never too late to start today as your true self...
That way too hard to hear 😢 but your videos are so inspiring and raw, still stand by how evident it is in your mannerisms and general being, anyone who can't see that is blind xo Stay strong everyone, be who you are whatever or whoever that is ❤
When we find ourselves looking back on the story and experiences of life, there is an opportunity for our personal growth. Pain and sorrow can be fertilizer for a garden full of strong beauty and love. Become the gardener of you own bountiful life. The tears will sometimes fall, just as the clouds of life get heavy. Imbrace the Storm of change because afterwards is life renewed. ❤
Thank you very much for sharing, I have only just started watching some of your videos a few days ago. You are very inspiring. I am a mid-30s guy who is honestly scared of starting their journey. But after I get a couple of things sorted (get a hair transplant to fix my diffuse thinning hair and see a therapist for advice), I think I will just say to hell with it and start my transitioning journey.
Thanks for telling your story, that's really helpful. Figuring out my gender identity is difficult and confusing, but hearing other people's stories is helping me a lot.
I didn’t realize I was trans until I was 36 years old. I’m sorry you had to go through so much to get there but you are a beautiful young woman. The more we share our stories, the more people realize they are not alone. I look forward to more of your videos.
What a courageous and enlightening testimony. Judging from the comments received, it really resonated with viewers going through similar travails and has already proved useful. I think it can help me be a better ally in the struggle for wider acceptance of diverse gender identities by helping me to better understand how you came to realize just who you were born to be.
girl i relate so hard when you said you said you had no support outside your room whenever dysphoria gets to me it absolutely sucks because i have no one to talk to or express my feelings to. it sometimes makes me feel depressed because i dont think i can trust anyone irl with my feelings and then i spiral and think that ill never come out or live my true life or be happy. you inspire me thank you for sharing your story.
OMG 🥹 Thank you for sharing this authentic experience. It's so dehumanizing when people like Blaire White and Marcus Dibs make themselves and their extremely privileged experiences out to be not only the norm (which they're not) but additionally the only true transgender experience. I think it's far more common for us to be discouraged and do all we can to fit in and "be normal" until we reach a breaking point. I very much bought into toxic, masculine bitterness until my co-parent had the good sense to divorce me at 32 and release me from the self-destructive pattern I had embraced. My life may be a lot stranger and less socially accepted now, but at least I'm no longer the villain in my own life story.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience. I am finally accepting myself to be possibly trans, saying non-binary currently ha. Took me almost all of my 20's to convince myself I needed to love and accept myself. Since turned my life around by going back to school and starting to talk with a specialist about gender dysphoria and starting HRT. Your videos have been very helpful and a breath of fresh air. Your feelings are valid and keep doing you! Thanks!!
You are such a wonderful person, Polar. Don't let anyone tell you how to behave, dress, or anything else. live your life to the fullest. Every story deserves to be heard and to better understand the person behind the video.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability here, hun. I can tell that it was difficult, but it is stories like this that will reach the people who need it and potentially change the minds of people who are open minded about trans people.
Just a reminder for new people to the transitioning stage. Make sure you have a safe support area to start. Don't come out to those who might be a possible risk of you being in a toxic environment, especially if you are not old enough to support yourself! Things take time and I recommend people to get their education while being under the roof of their parent/guardians. This world is cruel, so waiting will help you in the lond run. (No need to have sis/bros needlessly leaving before they experience life)
Thank you for sharing your journey with us Princess, I felt much the same, Some of your future journey will be rough, dealing with the haters but always remember your trans family is with you!
@@azborderlands Nah, I don't believe it makes me Bi-Sexual, simply because I have no attraction to men, only women. Since, she looks like a woman, lives like a woman and identifies as a woman, and I find HER attractive, that still makes me straight (not that there's anything wrong with being gay or bi) I don't judge anybody and I except everyone for who and what they are. Too much hatred in this world as it is 😔 I truly try to be the best person I can be.
had me all emotional too. I've always been "other", was a forces kid so always the outsider in a new place, then was alt/rock/biker but still never felt i fit in, even among the "weirdo's". I don't know if I'll ever find peace internally. Thanks you for being brave enough to post this xx
9:48 I can relate to that, currently going through such a motion with my father. I'm 21 but can't properly transition because it's his house and he thinks "making mini mes" is much more important (when I don't even want children). So in the early process of planning to move out.
probably the best thing for you is to ve out on your own.... but might i suggest finding a friend who you trust (and who trusts you) to help balance the load for the costs of rent, utilities, and such... not only that, having someone else around at your place can be helpful for both of you in having someone to talk with when you need to. Either which way... best of luck for you as you navigate these treacherous 'waters' of life and society. Have confidence in yourself and the decisions you make, but never allow yourself to deny or fail to learn from a mistake. Making mistakes as you go through life... they are easily turned into learning experiences that will help you when faced with the same or similar situations later. Again... all the best to you, hopefully getting your transition won't be delayed much longer... we all need to live our lives and be our true selves.
Awww I wanted to hug you at the end I relate to this so much! Don't worry about giving advice you did so much by posting your story love! I related to it so fuckin much. ❤
I'm in tears.... Thank you for sharing and I'm sure it will help someone out there. I'm 46 yo and I wish I had heard something like this when I was younger. I've just recently allowed myself to begin present a bit feminine in public and thinking about transition. I've felt so much guilt and shame over the years för wanting to feel feminine. Thank you ❤
OMG, I had such a similar experience, except at a much different time. There was so much self loathing and societal pressure etc, that I had to overcome before I could accept the fact that I was trans, something I knew since I was a child. Took me until 44. So proud of you!
Had to pause so I could comment since I'm at work listening. So I tried to come out at 15 but my parents rejected any thought of it, put me in treatment and I shut away any feminine aspects of myself until very recently. You are strong for being able to continue the journey you started even though you weren't accepted. I look forward to seeing where my journey will take me but I know it is an uphill battle even in a more accepting society. I'm 34 and in wish I had found myself sooner. Stay strong!
I'm in a similar place though older, 38. Just started transitioning 7 months ago. I'm sorry it's been so hard for you and thank you for sharing! It is helpful to hear a similar story and I'm proud of you for pursuing your true self. You are valid and wonderful.
Many people would say you do not become trans. You are born that way. You may repress it, even for many years, but being trans is basically who you are. My own view is we can never really know. When I analyze my own journey I see aspects of my transness, so to speak, that were immutable from the day I was born. However, I also see aspects of my life experience that may have made me trans. Probably, it is a bit of both, at least for me. Now, after accepting I am trans and being in transition a little over year I do not think as much about the root of my transness. I know I am trans and am glad I am doing something about it as hard as that is.
Exactly, it's something you just know and learn about at some point in your life. You may be born with it, it may just develop somehow due to circumstances but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how you became to be trans. It only matters is that you can be yourself. I hope everyone can learn more about themselves and learn to be comfortable in your own skin. It's the best feeling in the world. When I learned that I was trans, it was like the world opened up for me. I finally found a word to describe who I am. It wasn't an easy journey, but was able to get their in the end and then learn to accept it. I'm so happy that you were able to take action on it and learn to be yourself
your xmas story really resonated with me. one of my most memorable (in a bad way) experiences as a teen was getting a nose hair trimmer at 16 from my parents as a present. just being hit with the fact that i was changing into something i didn’t want and hated was the worst. i cried and cried when i opened the present and my family had no idea why it bothered me so much. they thought it was hilarious.
Side note: An underrated pain of transitioning is realizing you missed an entire childhood of wearing princess outfits, wearing all the sparkly stuff, being cheerful without riddicule, doing things like cheer or gymnastics etc. etc. instead you went through the "like a sport that your dad is obsessed with, rough house with your older siblings and family to prove strength, don't show emotions its weak etc.etc." so much of it was just this boot camp of stupidity, but we can't turn back time maybe in another life time well get our time to enjoy it that being said I believe our souls wanted us to experience the trans narrative this lifetime it makes us appreciate femininity alot more when we have to fight for it rather than being handed it for free. So many women just get so out of shape, don't take care of their health or appearances and maybe that'd be us if we would have been born female to begin with
Morning a childhood or previous life of authenticity and acceptance is something even i can respect. I say even i. Coz i think the yt algorithm has me kinda pinned as RP adjacent…
Thank you for being willing to share your soul with all of us. It is one very beautiful soul. I know that we all feel the affirmation from our parents could be the most important thing to hear. But in my mind I feel like if you lived yourself, you were affirmed. I think you would greatly benefit from this book I read last year. It's called, "the subtle art of not giving a fuck." It's a pretty rough book but it teaches you some pretty good skills on not letting other people's thoughts dictate your own.
I'm so sad to hear you've had to go through all of that, and at the same time really glad you've shared it with the rest of us ❤ I'm still very deep in the closet because I currently couldn't make it without my family's financial support, but hope I can sooner than later live my life as I want to
I think that it’s a beautiful thing to have the courage and strength to be authentic in a world where you have a narrative imprisoned upon your birth. It makes me very happy that you have followed your heart and shared your story with the world 🌸🙏
Thank you so much for making this video. ♥ I relate to you a lot because I'm a 20yrs old transwoman struggling to come out even to the people closest to me, to the point where I sometimes fear that I may never be able to live any kind of authentic life. It can be hard to feel motivated to do anything when my situation feels so hopeless. but hearing trans people sharing their stories from all around the world helps a lot ☺. I got emotional watching this and I hope things get better for you. for all of us really. On a lighter note watching you rip those fishnets with your fingers might've made me more emotional than anything else/ j
As a kid I wanted to be a mommy. I thought I was crazy and didn't want electroshock therapy. I was diagnosed as trans female when I was 55. All those years, what a waste.
your story touched my heart deeply and made me cry I had almost the same I remember my own experience from when I was small and got caught wearing my moms dresses and they sat me down and where angry at me for doing so cant remember what age between 7 or 13 I remember thinking U will not catch me again or know the true me I loved them but now that there gone I cant but help to wonder what if I just said yes when they asked me do I want to be a girl back then instead of pulling back and told them no would things have been different my mother just sat there saying nothing while my dad was doing the talking think I resented her somewhat for that.Miss them even tough that happened I'm still finding myself thank you for this video your so brave to be the real you.
I just found your channel today and I relate to what you said so much! I'm just starting my transition at 29 and I wish I could've been myself sooner, but it's never too late to be yourself. Thank you for sharing your story
I feel you and relate to you. I wasted my teen years being someone my family and kids at school wanted me to be because it was accepted. It wasn’t until after I joined the military and got away from everyone that I remembered since before puberty, that I wanted to be a woman. From that point on I’ve been transitioning. Took a couple years to get hormones and a year to get out of the military
Hey, PolarWaterPrincess! I love this content! One piece of constructive criticism to clean up your editing - the snap zooms distracted me from your story. Instead of snapping in and out, slow zoom as the emotions get stronger and hold that zoomed in frame to give the sense of intimacy and really punch your vulnerability to the audience. Again, this is still a really powerful thing to share! Love it!
You are beyond beautiful and valid. Thank you for sharing your story. A lot of what you said resonated with me and felt very synonymous with what I went through before I came out officially. Thank you ❤❤❤
Pretty powerful stuff here girl... I transitioned 28 years ago in 1996 at the age of 46. Like you I didn't have the words but I knew at like 6 that I was different. I couldnt find any information in libraries and in fact, trying to look a subject up in the card files at the time when you didn't know the name of that subject was a losing proposition. Finally the internet was born and I began to understand there were others like me. I saw a path forward and I jumped off the cliff hoping I could fly. Its been almost 3 decades now and I'm still flying. After transition I went stealth up until a year ago because I felt that at 73, retired with no job to lose, it was time for me to fight against the goons of MAGA politics. I wanted the people I was friends with to know that transfolks are just regular people with a little twist of lime. I've had a good life, one I am proud of and I would bet on you having a great life ahead of you too. Stay strong and remember you are loved, you are valid, and ignore the harpies that nip at us. ❤ (ps If you don't mind, I have a rather large social media presense at a 1/4 million followers. Yeah mostly it's guys who like my boobs {LOL} but there are a bunch of us transfolks in there too so is it okay if I highlight this video? I think you have a voice and a story that could resonate with people...)
I was always enamored with what the girls got to wear and I wanted to wear that too cause I wanted to look cute as well. Never told anyone- somehow I thought this was more taboo than SD or SS, and somehow that notion persisted until high school when I met a trans person in the mental hospital 😭
I can't really express my real feminine side, I just know that everyone would make fun of me, I have to act and look like someone I'm not. Im just wondering if it's even worth it to live like this, I might as well just give up, there's not much to lose I guess. I wish I was born somewhere else instead of this shithole... Anyways, I hope you are okay, you look beautiful as always!
There’s still time to say screw everyone for making it impossible. As a male, I have a feminine mind and have always been too creative to fit in with the guys in high school and was very happy to graduate only to find college to be a similar boat. No one ever wanted me on their team in gym, and it’s very hurtful to get shunned out of literally every social environment and group project as I had no friends. My parents and brother don’t know about me wanting to transition, but would most certainly call me a freak and I don’t have anybody to support me, but I’m going to transition to a woman anyway because I feel like it’ll benefit my own mental health positively and the best thing to do is to shun out all the things that others believe and do what’s right for yourself as it’s your own body in the first place. The last thing you should do is end it all and it’s never impossible, you just need to fight back against everybody else’s standards because they don’t own you as an individual as you have full control over your own life and need to do what’s best for your own self… I hope this message was helpful to you, I felt the urge to write about a similar experience as your comment moved me emotionally.
@@orangejacket4551 Thanks for your comment! The problem is that I still have to rely on my parents, and they already dislike me, they'd probably force me to leave, so I guess I'd be homeless if I came out or started transitioning. I live in Hungary which isn't a good place for people like me... Even if people would say that they accept me, I still don't think I'd be able to be around them. I've always kept to myself, so revealing something like this seems impossible, even in an accepting environment. If I could have one wish, all I would want is to be a girl from birth. If I lived my life as a girl, I would be so much happier and better now. I really just don't see the point of living like this, by the time I could properly transition, it will be too late. I just have to hope there is an afterlife or something where I can be myself. Good luck to you, I hope you succeed.
hang in there.. sounds like your on your way to figuring it all out... we all have to travel the same road.. for me I came to the realization as a teenager in the 1980's which at that time was the dark ages.. no internet.. no social media.. no youtube.. just these feelings and no one who understands but I kept forging on and eventually met the right people to get me on the right road.. 30 years later I haven't looked back either.. so hang in there and trust in yourself. good luck!
I've been watching so many MtF videos and just hearing loads of peoples stories. And honestly, I feel selfish a lot of the time because I'm a femboy who did come out to my parents and my mum was supportive to me and offered me the chance to express myself and I still put myself back in the closet because talking about it with them just... hurt, for reasons I don't get, but I just couldn't explain myself to them and have avoided the subject because of it. (Also, I just really wanted to give you a hug at the end, that's like my first thought if someone starts crying)
thank u so much for sharing your experience i went through (and am going through) some similar things and it really helps seeing someone else having done it before i ended up crying with u at the end bc that really hit me too luv u and i look forward to seeing more from you :3
i knew so early but because of family i had to hide myself and felt like i couldnt tell anyone. one of my earliest memories is being screamed at for just wanting to grow my hair out as a kid, if that was going too far then being publicly trans was completely out of the question. when i was getting ready for HS my parents decided that i was growing my hair out 'too much' with it touching my ears, so i was sent to a religious school where even more trans/homophobia was rampant and pushed me even further into the closet . now im in my late 20s, and i finally worked through my internalized shit enough to get counseling and start hrt. i just couldnt keep pretending anymore
I so remember being so enthralled with the Christine Jorgensen story. I knew that I wanted to be girl and wanted to do what she did. My parents were totally aware I was "different" and whispered about my "illness". My father hated me and I think mom was on his side.
Thank you for sharing your story 💜 I came out to myself and later my family around 20 y/o as well and also dropped out of high school (later finished my credits and my diploma). I didn't know what being "trans" was until around that time, and growing up in a rural community I wasn't even really sure what being gay meant--other than people would call things "gay" in a derogatory way. I still spent 3 years (shoved) back in the closet after coming out due to living with my unaccepting parent, but finally managed to get out of that situation after a few additional hardships (not trying to overshare) Anyways: I'm really happy for you and hope you get so much joy out of this life. (I feel like I phrased that in an odd way) Uh, congrats 😅
hi beautiful, I transitioned 15 years ago and am happy. Your story is similar to mine and probably many others. I was 8 years old when I noticed I was "different". Transitioned when I was 20 and haven't looked back. Only people like you understand when I broke down and cried because I didnt want to change for gym class in school in front of boys. You have experienced similarly somehow Im sure. Nice video, it was enjoyable.
Thank you for this video. I cried. A LOT! Bawled like a baby (or a Little, so no surprise 😜- but i feel that Little state in some of us was DUE to the CORRECT childhood being vehemently denied to us - something missing 🥺) i experienced much of what you speak of here, and i suffered far longer into later in my life than i care to admit here. I really wish that such experiences were never part of any child’s life, but unfortunately that is just not how reality treats us even back in my day. I always knew i was not in line with my body. I WISH now that i had (oh so many decades ago) the resources and general acceptance and relative safety that is available these days. By the way, i am so jellyz of your beauty too.
@@polarwaterprincess well I am sure you will look stunning in it. Must show one's legs when young, as they are so wonderful then before varicose viens and middle age fat accumulates 😆 🤣 😂
You look great. I only just found your channel Today (now). Right now the country is in the middle of a huge _"Labeling War"_ and too many people are way too oversensitive about things like "proper labels".
Ye. Every Christmas. I came out to my partner this Christmas. Well we are still together, but she thinks im having a mental brakedown. This blogs makes me feel no so alone, thx❤
honestly I am not naturally flamboyant, if you talk to me I would sound like a regular straight dude, but physically I just want to look like a beautiful women. I am starting hrt and for me its like, who the hell would ever want to age like a man? Receding hairline, disgusting hair everywhere, boxy ass body shape, ugly ass clothing, etc. I have spurts of flamoyant energy when I am excited about cute clothes, but for me nonbinary is great since I find wanting to look feminine has nothing to do with wanting to also present socially feminine. But it makes sense their are beautiful girls that are not girly just chill and a bit stoic thats what I would present as
I’m a parent and grand parent and if you were my child I would tell you I don’t care about who’s roof you live under you are my child and it’s my responsibility to love, support and protect you to the best of my ability to the end of my life. That responsibility I take on happily. Of you are not my child I look at that set of responsibilities for you as well. You stay strong and know I’ll send you a Christmas gift appropriate to your gender and life. That goes for anyone in this comment section or anyone else. Stay safe and love you all.
Hugs. So much of this is relevant to me. But as I'm married and 47 and my wife isn't really supportive, I'm still not where I want to be. Or need to be. Go you.
Y’know, you remind me of Heathers era Wynona Ryder especially the face and the hair. Very cute! I didn’t figure out I was trans until was 39, I’m glad you didn’t have to wait so long.
I figured it out very young. I knew what I wanted to do but did not know it was possible until I was 10. My step dad was always on my case trying to make me manup. He had me go to county asylums Stanley Royd Mental Hospital Wakefield to be cured back in 1977 when i was 13. Obviously they failed to change or deter me. I was then thrown out the family home at age 15 by my step dad, no clothes just my school uniform, no money & nowhere to live but at last I was happy and free to take charge of my own life and destiny. I went on to complete my SRS in the early 1980's & spent the next 31 years with my late partner/husband.
I cried watching this because I experienced many of the same things. I didn't start transitioning until I was 42 years old 💜
I will be crying with you honey😢😂
I was 39. I honestly don’t know I survived that long.
@@wiselioness322 I just started HRT at 30 and feel the same way. No idea how I made it this long without realizing I was suffering from dysphoria. I wish these kind of online resources existed when I was in high school.. they sure would have helped prevent a decade+ of suffering through my young adult years.
Yay. Me too. Started transitioning just after my 42nd b-day this year. Seems like there's a lot of us that are finally doing what we needed to do now that the toxicity of 80's/90's culture is behind us. I also can't believe I made it this long without having done so. Repression and masking are veeeery strong (and unhealthy) tools that I used.
Much Love to you friend 😻😻😻
I can concur on the "Hulk like rage" before transitioning. When you live 2 lives and burn the candle at both ends while self medicating, things had to change.
So true ❤️
Thanks for this, and thanks for not cutting out the tears to give us a false happy ending.
The realness is so important.
Princess, I think you are wonderful. Many of us have shared very similar stories as yours, to varying degrees. Your video is so authentic and vulnerable, it is a service to others like us, and the world at large, to show that we are real people, our existence is not dependent on the acceptance or understanding of others. My mom completely rejected me being a girl when I transitioned socially. I envy you being able to pass, I probably never will, but I'll also never go back to living as a boy, and what a relief, to just try my best to be myself. Blessings to you, and thanks for your channel. Cheers!
Thank you 🥺🥺❤️❤️
The important part is you found your light out of a dark tunnel. I commend you on your bravery.
As a Mother I would be happy to welcome all of you to womanhood. Let us celebrate together in our beauty and strength
@@patjuskiw2418 Thank You! That is something I've always wanted from the girls and women in my life, to be accepted by them and seen as one of the girls. I was telling this to a new girl friend the other day, she told me she'd to be honored to have me join her as one of the girls. We were laying on towels in bikinis at the pool and talking, it was very fulfilling for me, and such a simple pleasure. Good things can happen for us. Women can be very accepting of us at times. Thank you!
As an adolescent, I had this sense that things were a bit 'off' with me.. but I didn't have the knowledge or words to describe what I was experiencing. My egg finally cracked at 29, and at 30 I just started HRT to begin my medical transition. Things are slow going.. but I'm happy to finally feel a lift in my chronic anxiety and depression that's been ever-present since puberty blindsided me. I appreciate your honesty and raw emotion displayed here. ♥
Thank you so much for sharing your story, and as for affirmations "good girl" 😁
Princess, thank you for being vulnerable and trusting the world with your story. That took so much bravery and courage to do, I am so proud of you for standing up and being who you are. You deserve all the love, empathy, and validation this world has to offer. Continue to stay strong, to be who you are; and I believe that good things will come your way. Please don’t give up on yourself because you deserve to be here. Wishing you all the best. *e-hug*
with every video you make you help me a lot, I have been on HRT for 9 months and I plan to make similar videos like yours in my own language, thank you so much again ❤❤
Thank youuu 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️
Cried with you at the end hun. I've liked and subbed, your vid came up in recommendations. Thank you for sharing your story!
Of course, am glad you’re here 🥰🥰
Ur so brave not just thank u 4 sharing but thank u 4 being who u really r & letting us admire ur inner beauty & ur outer beauty as well 😍
Thank you for everything you've given us. Please know that you're doing so much for the community and that you're a blessing. I'm so happy for you and I want you to know that we all appreciate you. Your videos are life saving.
Ty 🥺🥺❤️❤️
You are a complete and total inspiration. Full stop...
You say you're not ready to give advice in that, yet, so let me help you: You are who you say you are. You are valid and worthy of love and respect. It's never too late to start today as your true self...
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@polarwaterprincess, you are welcome. We gotta take care of each other.
Hugs
That way too hard to hear 😢 but your videos are so inspiring and raw, still stand by how evident it is in your mannerisms and general being, anyone who can't see that is blind xo Stay strong everyone, be who you are whatever or whoever that is ❤
Thanks for telling your story! I'm sure it has and will help lots of people.
you have no idea on how much comfy youve made me to embrace my fem side we love you sm starting hrt hopefully soon cause of you thank you for existing
Thank youuuu 🥺🥺
@@polarwaterprincess you welcomee!! :)
When we find ourselves looking back on the story and experiences of life, there is an opportunity for our personal growth. Pain and sorrow can be fertilizer for a garden full of strong beauty and love. Become the gardener of you own bountiful life. The tears will sometimes fall, just as the clouds of life get heavy. Imbrace the Storm of change because afterwards is life renewed. ❤
Well said ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi your honesty is so empowering I feel like crying too!
Thank you very much for sharing, I have only just started watching some of your videos a few days ago. You are very inspiring.
I am a mid-30s guy who is honestly scared of starting their journey. But after I get a couple of things sorted (get a hair transplant to fix my diffuse thinning hair and see a therapist for advice), I think I will just say to hell with it and start my transitioning journey.
Yes! And transition will bring back most of your hair in itself ❤️
Thanks for telling your story, that's really helpful. Figuring out my gender identity is difficult and confusing, but hearing other people's stories is helping me a lot.
I cried watching this video.
I wouldn't have been able to cry so easily half a year ago. You can guess why.
I didn’t realize I was trans until I was 36 years old. I’m sorry you had to go through so much to get there but you are a beautiful young woman. The more we share our stories, the more people realize they are not alone. I look forward to more of your videos.
What a courageous and enlightening testimony. Judging from the comments received, it really resonated with viewers going through similar travails and has already proved useful. I think it can help me be a better ally in the struggle for wider acceptance of diverse gender identities by helping me to better understand how you came to realize just who you were born to be.
Be that shining light, and forget all the haters. The only expectation of opinion from anyone is your own.
You’re support means so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Ty so so so so much ❤️❤️❤️
@@polarwaterprincess We are all out here struggling. Have a great day!
girl i relate so hard when you said you said you had no support outside your room whenever dysphoria gets to me it absolutely sucks because i have no one to talk to or express my feelings to. it sometimes makes me feel depressed because i dont think i can trust anyone irl with my feelings and then i spiral and think that ill never come out or live my true life or be happy. you inspire me thank you for sharing your story.
OMG 🥹 Thank you for sharing this authentic experience. It's so dehumanizing when people like Blaire White and Marcus Dibs make themselves and their extremely privileged experiences out to be not only the norm (which they're not) but additionally the only true transgender experience. I think it's far more common for us to be discouraged and do all we can to fit in and "be normal" until we reach a breaking point.
I very much bought into toxic, masculine bitterness until my co-parent had the good sense to divorce me at 32 and release me from the self-destructive pattern I had embraced. My life may be a lot stranger and less socially accepted now, but at least I'm no longer the villain in my own life story.
I really love your last sentence and I hope you're doing good!
I really appreciate you sharing your experience. I am finally accepting myself to be possibly trans, saying non-binary currently ha. Took me almost all of my 20's to convince myself I needed to love and accept myself. Since turned my life around by going back to school and starting to talk with a specialist about gender dysphoria and starting HRT. Your videos have been very helpful and a breath of fresh air. Your feelings are valid and keep doing you! Thanks!!
You are such a wonderful person, Polar. Don't let anyone tell you how to behave, dress, or anything else. live your life to the fullest. Every story deserves to be heard and to better understand the person behind the video.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability here, hun. I can tell that it was difficult, but it is stories like this that will reach the people who need it and potentially change the minds of people who are open minded about trans people.
Just a reminder for new people to the transitioning stage. Make sure you have a safe support area to start. Don't come out to those who might be a possible risk of you being in a toxic environment, especially if you are not old enough to support yourself! Things take time and I recommend people to get their education while being under the roof of their parent/guardians. This world is cruel, so waiting will help you in the lond run. (No need to have sis/bros needlessly leaving before they experience life)
Thank you for sharing your journey with us Princess, I felt much the same, Some of your future journey will be rough, dealing with the haters but always remember your trans family is with you!
As a straight and single guy, I must say that you are very very beautiful ❤ 🌹 😉 Have a blessed day! 😊
“Straight”? 🙈
@@azborderlands So, does that make me "Bi" then? 😏 All I know is I think she's very beautiful.
@@Donscottmusic yes.
@@azborderlands Nah, I don't believe it makes me Bi-Sexual, simply because I have no attraction to men, only women. Since, she looks like a woman, lives like a woman and identifies as a woman, and I find HER attractive, that still makes me straight (not that there's anything wrong with being gay or bi) I don't judge anybody and I except everyone for who and what they are. Too much hatred in this world as it is 😔 I truly try to be the best person I can be.
@@Donscottmusic New category needed. You are not straight sir.
had me all emotional too. I've always been "other", was a forces kid so always the outsider in a new place, then was alt/rock/biker but still never felt i fit in, even among the "weirdo's". I don't know if I'll ever find peace internally. Thanks you for being brave enough to post this xx
9:48 I can relate to that, currently going through such a motion with my father. I'm 21 but can't properly transition because it's his house and he thinks "making mini mes" is much more important (when I don't even want children). So in the early process of planning to move out.
So young! Proud of you!
@@polarwaterprincess Thank you!
probably the best thing for you is to ve out on your own.... but might i suggest finding a friend who you trust (and who trusts you) to help balance the load for the costs of rent, utilities, and such... not only that, having someone else around at your place can be helpful for both of you in having someone to talk with when you need to.
Either which way... best of luck for you as you navigate these treacherous 'waters' of life and society. Have confidence in yourself and the decisions you make, but never allow yourself to deny or fail to learn from a mistake. Making mistakes as you go through life... they are easily turned into learning experiences that will help you when faced with the same or similar situations later.
Again... all the best to you, hopefully getting your transition won't be delayed much longer... we all need to live our lives and be our true selves.
Stay strong girlie you are beautiful and affirmed by us in the wider trans community. 💖
Awww I wanted to hug you at the end I relate to this so much! Don't worry about giving advice you did so much by posting your story love! I related to it so fuckin much. ❤
I love the way you dress and how neat is your room always!!!!
I'm in tears.... Thank you for sharing and I'm sure it will help someone out there. I'm 46 yo and I wish I had heard something like this when I was younger. I've just recently allowed myself to begin present a bit feminine in public and thinking about transition. I've felt so much guilt and shame over the years för wanting to feel feminine. Thank you ❤
Made me almost cry, experiencing similar things as a younger person. Proud of you 🌈
OMG, I had such a similar experience, except at a much different time. There was so much self loathing and societal pressure etc, that I had to overcome before I could accept the fact that I was trans, something I knew since I was a child. Took me until 44. So proud of you!
Proud of youuuu 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️
Had to pause so I could comment since I'm at work listening. So I tried to come out at 15 but my parents rejected any thought of it, put me in treatment and I shut away any feminine aspects of myself until very recently. You are strong for being able to continue the journey you started even though you weren't accepted. I look forward to seeing where my journey will take me but I know it is an uphill battle even in a more accepting society. I'm 34 and in wish I had found myself sooner. Stay strong!
Thank you for sharing your story and showing a vulnerable side. Especially the christmas story made me understand a lot of the struggle.
Be who want to be and do what makes you feel good 😊
I'm in a similar place though older, 38. Just started transitioning 7 months ago. I'm sorry it's been so hard for you and thank you for sharing! It is helpful to hear a similar story and I'm proud of you for pursuing your true self. You are valid and wonderful.
Same as you. I’m planning to transition to a female at some point
Many people would say you do not become trans. You are born that way. You may repress it, even for many years, but being trans is basically who you are. My own view is we can never really know. When I analyze my own journey I see aspects of my transness, so to speak, that were immutable from the day I was born. However, I also see aspects of my life experience that may have made me trans. Probably, it is a bit of both, at least for me. Now, after accepting I am trans and being in transition a little over year I do not think as much about the root of my transness. I know I am trans and am glad I am doing something about it as hard as that is.
Exactly, it's something you just know and learn about at some point in your life. You may be born with it, it may just develop somehow due to circumstances but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how you became to be trans. It only matters is that you can be yourself. I hope everyone can learn more about themselves and learn to be comfortable in your own skin. It's the best feeling in the world. When I learned that I was trans, it was like the world opened up for me. I finally found a word to describe who I am. It wasn't an easy journey, but was able to get their in the end and then learn to accept it. I'm so happy that you were able to take action on it and learn to be yourself
Thanks for the wonderful comment. I am happy that your world opened up when your became comfortable with who you are. So has mine. @@jdncat
your xmas story really resonated with me. one of my most memorable (in a bad way) experiences as a teen was getting a nose hair trimmer at 16 from my parents as a present. just being hit with the fact that i was changing into something i didn’t want and hated was the worst. i cried and cried when i opened the present and my family had no idea why it bothered me so much. they thought it was hilarious.
Side note: An underrated pain of transitioning is realizing you missed an entire childhood of wearing princess outfits, wearing all the sparkly stuff, being cheerful without riddicule, doing things like cheer or gymnastics etc. etc. instead you went through the "like a sport that your dad is obsessed with, rough house with your older siblings and family to prove strength, don't show emotions its weak etc.etc." so much of it was just this boot camp of stupidity, but we can't turn back time maybe in another life time well get our time to enjoy it that being said I believe our souls wanted us to experience the trans narrative this lifetime it makes us appreciate femininity alot more when we have to fight for it rather than being handed it for free. So many women just get so out of shape, don't take care of their health or appearances and maybe that'd be us if we would have been born female to begin with
Morning a childhood or previous life of authenticity and acceptance is something even i can respect. I say even i. Coz i think the yt algorithm has me kinda pinned as RP adjacent…
Thanks for sharing your story Polar, you're really pretty and glad you're so strong and cool and a wonderful person - have a great week!
So proud of you girl! Very hard to be this vulnerable
Thank you for being willing to share your soul with all of us. It is one very beautiful soul. I know that we all feel the affirmation from our parents could be the most important thing to hear. But in my mind I feel like if you lived yourself, you were affirmed. I think you would greatly benefit from this book I read last year. It's called, "the subtle art of not giving a fuck." It's a pretty rough book but it teaches you some pretty good skills on not letting other people's thoughts dictate your own.
I'm so sad to hear you've had to go through all of that, and at the same time really glad you've shared it with the rest of us ❤ I'm still very deep in the closet because I currently couldn't make it without my family's financial support, but hope I can sooner than later live my life as I want to
Thank you for sharing your experience!!
I think that it’s a beautiful thing to have the courage and strength to be authentic in a world where you have a narrative imprisoned upon your birth. It makes me very happy that you have followed your heart and shared your story with the world 🌸🙏
Thank you so much for making this video. ♥
I relate to you a lot because I'm a 20yrs old transwoman struggling to come out even to the people closest to me, to the point where I sometimes fear that I may never be able to live any kind of authentic life. It can be hard to feel motivated to do anything when my situation feels so hopeless. but hearing trans people sharing their stories from all around the world helps a lot ☺.
I got emotional watching this and I hope things get better for you. for all of us really.
On a lighter note watching you rip those fishnets with your fingers might've made me more emotional than anything else/ j
As a kid I wanted to be a mommy. I thought I was crazy and didn't want electroshock therapy. I was diagnosed as trans female when I was 55. All those years, what a waste.
your story touched my heart deeply and made me cry I had almost the same I remember my own experience from when I was small and got caught wearing my moms dresses and they sat me down and where angry at me for doing so cant remember what age between 7 or 13 I remember thinking U will not catch me again or know the true me I loved them but now that there gone I cant but help to wonder what if I just said yes when they asked me do I want to be a girl back then instead of pulling back and told them no would things have been different my mother just sat there saying nothing while my dad was doing the talking think I resented her somewhat for that.Miss them even tough that happened I'm still finding myself thank you for this video your so brave to be the real you.
I just found your channel today and I relate to what you said so much! I'm just starting my transition at 29 and I wish I could've been myself sooner, but it's never too late to be yourself. Thank you for sharing your story
I feel you and relate to you. I wasted my teen years being someone my family and kids at school wanted me to be because it was accepted. It wasn’t until after I joined the military and got away from everyone that I remembered since before puberty, that I wanted to be a woman. From that point on I’ve been transitioning. Took a couple years to get hormones and a year to get out of the military
Hey, PolarWaterPrincess! I love this content! One piece of constructive criticism to clean up your editing - the snap zooms distracted me from your story. Instead of snapping in and out, slow zoom as the emotions get stronger and hold that zoomed in frame to give the sense of intimacy and really punch your vulnerability to the audience. Again, this is still a really powerful thing to share! Love it!
Thank you! I was thinking that when looking back at the editing, but it was a little late to go back Hehe. Ty ❤️❤️
@@polarwaterprincess You’re on a great trajectory! Keep up the great work! Keep refining your craft.
You're so pretty sweetie. I was diagnosed transgender at the age of 57. Before I just thought I was crazy. Lol
You are beyond beautiful and valid. Thank you for sharing your story. A lot of what you said resonated with me and felt very synonymous with what I went through before I came out officially. Thank you ❤❤❤
Pretty powerful stuff here girl... I transitioned 28 years ago in 1996 at the age of 46. Like you I didn't have the words but I knew at like 6 that I was different. I couldnt find any information in libraries and in fact, trying to look a subject up in the card files at the time when you didn't know the name of that subject was a losing proposition. Finally the internet was born and I began to understand there were others like me. I saw a path forward and I jumped off the cliff hoping I could fly. Its been almost 3 decades now and I'm still flying. After transition I went stealth up until a year ago because I felt that at 73, retired with no job to lose, it was time for me to fight against the goons of MAGA politics. I wanted the people I was friends with to know that transfolks are just regular people with a little twist of lime. I've had a good life, one I am proud of and I would bet on you having a great life ahead of you too. Stay strong and remember you are loved, you are valid, and ignore the harpies that nip at us. ❤ (ps If you don't mind, I have a rather large social media presense at a 1/4 million followers. Yeah mostly it's guys who like my boobs {LOL} but there are a bunch of us transfolks in there too so is it okay if I highlight this video? I think you have a voice and a story that could resonate with people...)
You are so much stronger than I am!
You are a beautiful woman and I will never have that strength!
I was always enamored with what the girls got to wear and I wanted to wear that too cause I wanted to look cute as well. Never told anyone- somehow I thought this was more taboo than SD or SS, and somehow that notion persisted until high school when I met a trans person in the mental hospital 😭
I can't really express my real feminine side, I just know that everyone would make fun of me, I have to act and look like someone I'm not. Im just wondering if it's even worth it to live like this, I might as well just give up, there's not much to lose I guess. I wish I was born somewhere else instead of this shithole... Anyways, I hope you are okay, you look beautiful as always!
There’s still time to say screw everyone for making it impossible. As a male, I have a feminine mind and have always been too creative to fit in with the guys in high school and was very happy to graduate only to find college to be a similar boat. No one ever wanted me on their team in gym, and it’s very hurtful to get shunned out of literally every social environment and group project as I had no friends. My parents and brother don’t know about me wanting to transition, but would most certainly call me a freak and I don’t have anybody to support me, but I’m going to transition to a woman anyway because I feel like it’ll benefit my own mental health positively and the best thing to do is to shun out all the things that others believe and do what’s right for yourself as it’s your own body in the first place. The last thing you should do is end it all and it’s never impossible, you just need to fight back against everybody else’s standards because they don’t own you as an individual as you have full control over your own life and need to do what’s best for your own self…
I hope this message was helpful to you, I felt the urge to write about a similar experience as your comment moved me emotionally.
@@orangejacket4551 Thanks for your comment! The problem is that I still have to rely on my parents, and they already dislike me, they'd probably force me to leave, so I guess I'd be homeless if I came out or started transitioning. I live in Hungary which isn't a good place for people like me... Even if people would say that they accept me, I still don't think I'd be able to be around them. I've always kept to myself, so revealing something like this seems impossible, even in an accepting environment. If I could have one wish, all I would want is to be a girl from birth. If I lived my life as a girl, I would be so much happier and better now. I really just don't see the point of living like this, by the time I could properly transition, it will be too late. I just have to hope there is an afterlife or something where I can be myself. Good luck to you, I hope you succeed.
Thank you for sharing your experiences!
hang in there.. sounds like your on your way to figuring it all out... we all have to travel the same road.. for me I came to the realization as a teenager in the 1980's which at that time was the dark ages.. no internet.. no social media.. no youtube.. just these feelings and no one who understands but I kept forging on and eventually met the right people to get me on the right road.. 30 years later I haven't looked back either.. so hang in there and trust in yourself. good luck!
You're not alone PWP, my mother had a live-in who was brutal, maybe he was the reason, but I've always had these feelings that I was different.
I've been watching so many MtF videos and just hearing loads of peoples stories. And honestly, I feel selfish a lot of the time because I'm a femboy who did come out to my parents and my mum was supportive to me and offered me the chance to express myself and I still put myself back in the closet because talking about it with them just... hurt, for reasons I don't get, but I just couldn't explain myself to them and have avoided the subject because of it.
(Also, I just really wanted to give you a hug at the end, that's like my first thought if someone starts crying)
thank u so much for sharing your experience
i went through (and am going through) some similar things and it really helps seeing someone else having done it before
i ended up crying with u at the end bc that really hit me too
luv u and i look forward to seeing more from you :3
i knew so early but because of family i had to hide myself and felt like i couldnt tell anyone. one of my earliest memories is being screamed at for just wanting to grow my hair out as a kid, if that was going too far then being publicly trans was completely out of the question. when i was getting ready for HS my parents decided that i was growing my hair out 'too much' with it touching my ears, so i was sent to a religious school where even more trans/homophobia was rampant and pushed me even further into the closet . now im in my late 20s, and i finally worked through my internalized shit enough to get counseling and start hrt. i just couldnt keep pretending anymore
this is so sweet
I just want to give you a big hug 🤗 for both of us.
I really relate to you. You remind me of me.
Me 2
You are an amazing woman!!!
As a Man I hate to see girls crying, wishing I could hold you and say everything will be alright, you're precious, what else could I do for you?
Keep strong I just started patches on my way to my journey I’m 39 and you are a big inspiration ❤
I so remember being so enthralled with the Christine Jorgensen story. I knew that I wanted to be girl and wanted to do what she did. My parents were totally aware I was "different" and whispered about my "illness". My father hated me and I think mom was on his side.
Thank you for sharing your story 💜
I came out to myself and later my family around 20 y/o as well and also dropped out of high school (later finished my credits and my diploma). I didn't know what being "trans" was until around that time, and growing up in a rural community I wasn't even really sure what being gay meant--other than people would call things "gay" in a derogatory way. I still spent 3 years (shoved) back in the closet after coming out due to living with my unaccepting parent, but finally managed to get out of that situation after a few additional hardships (not trying to overshare)
Anyways: I'm really happy for you and hope you get so much joy out of this life. (I feel like I phrased that in an odd way)
Uh, congrats 😅
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
love ur openness and vulnerability
hi beautiful, I transitioned 15 years ago and am happy. Your story is similar to mine and probably many others. I was 8 years old when I noticed I was "different". Transitioned when I was 20 and haven't looked back. Only people like you understand when I broke down and cried because I didnt want to change for gym class in school in front of boys. You have experienced similarly somehow Im sure. Nice video, it was enjoyable.
You are such a brave girl, had me in tears also, so much of my story is the same, but it took much longer and 2 failed marriages for me............
i love you as all life loves water. thank you for being your authentic self.
That is so sweet 🥺🥺 thank you ❤️❤️
Thank you for this video. I cried. A LOT! Bawled like a baby (or a Little, so no surprise 😜- but i feel that Little state in some of us was DUE to the CORRECT childhood being vehemently denied to us - something missing 🥺) i experienced much of what you speak of here, and i suffered far longer into later in my life than i care to admit here.
I really wish that such experiences were never part of any child’s life, but unfortunately that is just not how reality treats us even back in my day. I always knew i was not in line with my body. I WISH now that i had (oh so many decades ago) the resources and general acceptance and relative safety that is available these days.
By the way, i am so jellyz of your beauty too.
Not much, but buy yourself something feminine to give to yourself for Christmas 😊
Thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Have a cute skirt in mind 🥰🥰
@@polarwaterprincess well I am sure you will look stunning in it. Must show one's legs when young, as they are so wonderful then before varicose viens and middle age fat accumulates 😆 🤣 😂
You look great. I only just found your channel Today (now).
Right now the country is in the middle of a huge _"Labeling War"_ and too many people are way too oversensitive about things like "proper labels".
Thank you so much for sharing
Very touching, All the Best! ❤
you are so inspiring!
Thank for your story, it's a beautiful, and tragic you had to learn that way. You are quite beautiful.
So authentic ❤
I relate to all this. I never related to the ‘TS Doll’ culture, thus never came out so soon.
Parents suck most of the time you just have to leave them and never look back. Mine have never been supportive of anything i have done.
Ye. Every Christmas. I came out to my partner this Christmas. Well we are still together, but she thinks im having a mental brakedown. This blogs makes me feel no so alone, thx❤
honestly I am not naturally flamboyant, if you talk to me I would sound like a regular straight dude, but physically I just want to look like a beautiful women. I am starting hrt and for me its like, who the hell would ever want to age like a man? Receding hairline, disgusting hair everywhere, boxy ass body shape, ugly ass clothing, etc. I have spurts of flamoyant energy when I am excited about cute clothes, but for me nonbinary is great since I find wanting to look feminine has nothing to do with wanting to also present socially feminine. But it makes sense their are beautiful girls that are not girly just chill and a bit stoic thats what I would present as
I’m a parent and grand parent and if you were my child I would tell you I don’t care about who’s roof you live under you are my child and it’s my responsibility to love, support and protect you to the best of my ability to the end of my life. That responsibility I take on happily. Of you are not my child I look at that set of responsibilities for you as well. You stay strong and know I’ll send you a Christmas gift appropriate to your gender and life. That goes for anyone in this comment section or anyone else. Stay safe and love you all.
Hugs. So much of this is relevant to me. But as I'm married and 47 and my wife isn't really supportive, I'm still not where I want to be. Or need to be. Go you.
Just got to the Christmas bit.😭. I'm buying myself a feminine christmas present, again.
@@emmagilpinif you dont mind sharing, why are you married to someone who doesnt support you?
@@dogenjoyer2480 I love her.
I viewed another Angle today. 2024 is going to be a good year. 💖Thank you for your Story
Y’know, you remind me of Heathers era Wynona Ryder especially the face and the hair. Very cute!
I didn’t figure out I was trans until was 39, I’m glad you didn’t have to wait so long.
I figured it out very young. I knew what I wanted to do but did not know it was possible until I was 10. My step dad was always on my case trying to make me manup. He had me go to county asylums Stanley Royd Mental Hospital Wakefield to be cured back in 1977 when i was 13. Obviously they failed to change or deter me. I was then thrown out the family home at age 15 by my step dad, no clothes just my school uniform, no money & nowhere to live but at last I was happy and free to take charge of my own life and destiny. I went on to complete my SRS in the early 1980's & spent the next 31 years with my late partner/husband.
and crying is always good ...it will help to relief yourself
Thanks for sharing Princess I wish you happiness and love in your journey