Checklist before entering a new relationship: 1. Have I healed? 2. Have I broken the relationship addiction? 3. Have I discovered myself? 4. Have I analyzed my faults in the previous breakup? 5. Have I adjusted my tolerance to abusive treatment? 6. Have I gotten the proper counsel? 7. Have I cancelled my previous soul-tie? (Repent, remove, renounce, renew) (Relinquish every connection with previous relationships)
This is what my ex husband did. After our 26 year marriage ended(verbal and physical abuse and adultery on his part) he got married to the OW 6 months after our divorce. I am taking the time to reacquaint myself with me and not get involved with anyone until God sends someone to me. What I did wrong in the marriage? I put God first, I tithed, I heard God tell me not to marry him but I did it anyway. I take full ownership of what I did wrong and will never allow anyone to abuse me ever again.
Thank you Pastor Blake you are a God sent man of God at a time that we need it most. Please continue to speak the word of truth an help us daughters to over come. In such a time as we live in that nothing an no one seems to care what's going on in this world. I haven't formally meet you but I feel like I've known you all my life. I've never met my father its been 53 years of wishing to meet him wanting to know him, but thank God for answered prayers for sending a true man to warn us about a man. Thank you an may God Bless You Real Good !😍😍😍😊
You answered your own Question.You did what God told u not to do. So you reap the consupeunce of disobedience. Did you expect God to bless it. When we say" let your will be done Lord" then turnaround and do what we want. Thens its nots Gods will. So we cant be mad at why it didnt work. Remember , God will adds no sorrow... I know what you going through. I was in. The same situation before with a woman i thought was right.. And i was qrong the lord told me not to do it and i did anyway. I didnt listen and it caused so much heartache, and she didnt really love me lime i loved her. The worst hurtful part was she hated and blamed God that i wasnt the guy on tv.. So i feel and empathise with you.
Great wisdom. I tell people all the time, "You're not ready to be with anybody until you are ready to be with yourself. If you can stand on your own two feet, being happy with you are - making Jesus the center of your life - and you enter in to a relationship with someone who is standing on their own two feet - with Jesus the center of their life - you will have a much more successful relationship than one that is based on insecurity. We should never make another person the center of our world - that is too much pressure to put on the other person. They can't make us feel more secure. Jesus is the only one who can give us joy and security.
Miss Klass he's actually very prosperous and has s lovely family and is very well respect. I have to defend him because your assumptions are so wrong.. He admits his past so its no secrect.. Whats wonderful is that hes schooling women on what he use to do..Most men go to their grave screwed up so i salute his heart to help us..I'm so sorry for what you've endured with men and I come to you in peace.. It's not fair to say things about someone that you've never met or know. God bless you.
+Embrace Truth - Agreed, great wisdom indeed from you too, thank you! It is not just about meeting the right person but also becoming the right person! Personally, I prefer being 'alone' as I can focus more on God then and my time is far more secure and joyful that way. Isaiah 54:5 For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
It's fear, plain and simple. People hate being alone. Because when you're alone, you have to truly look at yourself. Most people don't want to see their own brokenness, it's too painful. A new relationship is a distraction. Thank you for your insight, Pastor. God bless!
After 33yrs with a person that I wasn’t married to i stayed and 8 years ago i to another state and I love being alone.because I’m able to find me. Thank to God
A man. A father. A pastor. Our mentor that feeds the homeless and the hunger to our spirit and soul....Universal...The realist I've seen in this dimension. Incredible!
Me too! I’ve been listening to his teachings non stop since I found him two weeks ago. I’m already making so much progress after being stalled for so long 🙌🏽
Wow, perfect timing... After been single for seven years after painful divorce. I needed time to take care of Me, heal and be in love with myself, I basically dated myself for seven years. Just yesterday I started entertaining the idea of entering into a new relationship and wow God is Good.. I saw this video. Because I'm also so used to be alone, I enjoy it and selfish with my time.. Thank You for taking time out and sharing Your wisdom with Daddyless daughters... Lots of love from South Africa 🇿🇦
I am presently dating but decided not to engage sexually with anyone until it is an inclusive established relationship between us. I have lost men along the way because they want sex from me before any commitment is established and I'm just not down with that. I want to be in love not someone that has sex along the way while making my mind up but one who wants to be there and plant emotions long term. Yes, I'm content to be there without friends with benefit...GREAT VIDEO
Cass L Let God Choose for you. The Word of God tells us that becoming one, or having sex, is between one man (husband) and one woman (wife). Wait on it if it is for you, and whether you marry a man or not, you’re still luxury, and as a believer are married to Jesus, and this oneness will never end, plus! He will always treat you (us) right. Love yourself continually
Be careful of what you tell a guy about your waiting..some may actually "wait" till y'all are in something serious to just get what he wants. So don't ever tell them too much info about your decision, it's none of their business anyways. Stay blessed
This is really insightful...i find myself in this situation...fear of being alone is real man...but there is no bypassing this season...I accept it and I embrace it.
Mike Rios it’s taken me decades to embrace and I wish I had done it sooner. I’m not kidding the second I fully surrendered my desire for a mate and excepted the possibility that God would have me live the remainder of my life in a single state with peace and contentment and no envy of others that have what I’ve always desired is when all kinds of very amazing Godly men have been coming into my life! Anyone that does come into my life now that doesn’t compliment my life, future and calling there’s no way I’m walking into that mess again! I didn’t realize desire for a Man was actually a form of idolatry for me.
There is nothing wrong with being alone.just keep believing in god and he will send you the right person. In Jesus name it’s already done in Jesus name,🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
purposed patience Me too. I thought I waited and healed by just stuck some bandaid on it until my narcissist ex ripped those off. I’m actually grateful for it.
Right, I believe many are afraid to be alone, because being with our own thoughts, in our own company is so frightening. So we chose anyone rather than the right person. For me, I wanted to be "known". It terrified me not to be. Maybe what I needed/need is to get to know myself. 🤔
Awesome teacher of Gods words...We must listen and learn no matter what AGE we are!..im 53 delivered n healed from past hurts/emotions and fake love..amen..
Excellent advice. When you value yourself and love you 100% trust me one becomes VERY careful about who we allow into our lives, who we give our heart to because it cost SO MUCH to even get to that place of peace, love and acceptance of self. Jesus paid the price and maàaan, when that revelation comes you will NOT just be jumping into any relationship! Because God loves us so much!
I do have an explanation for why it is we can go through an awful and even devastating relationship (financial, emotional etc). Many of us had very emotionally neglectful childhoods and so we settle for crumbs. It’s also an addiction...looking for the high that new relationships and good chemistry can create which immediately eliminates the pressing needs to do the inner work of healing, change and growth. In my case what finally got me to realize how destructive my relationship patterns where after many decades of dead end relationships, was it finally started to impact my health! This was my day of reckoning and realizing that if I continues down this path not only would I continue to waste precious time, but also continue to incur major financial set backs, compromised health and potentially even death. What does it take for each individual to finally reach rock bottom? In my case my age, my health, my financial situation all combined quickened me enough to realize its time to take a long good break to figure out where all this destructiveness is coming from and take the time to heal very old childhood wounds that are still running the show today. Give that Child the Voice it never had!!! Honor and protect that Child instead of allowing abuse to perpetuated and resulting in deeper and longer lasting wounds that damage the soul.
Yes, and, yes! And, to add on in my case, it's the Loneliness from my childhood upbringing that is so deep rooted that I have a mean guard up, until I allow myself to "like him" then like you stated the "newness" is an euphoria feeling and it just "feels" right lol.. Until it ends again! Wow, the mind is tricky, I don't do a lot of dating and thought my alone time was spent with my Lord and Savior, but when that flesh and childhood pain creep in trying to heal with the start of a new "relationship" - it's All a mind game! With each person I meet or date, I Always ask the Lord is he from you - if not please remove him.. But, sometime it didn't matter I still did what I wanted to do! SMH Lol.. But, I Thank the Lord Jesus that now I have finally learned and understand ME... God Bless you~
TheMonica82 I’m in the same boat Monica! Now I pray that the Lord Spare me from getting involved with anyone that is going to cause me to regress. I’m very aware now that I am very prone to being tempted in this area and as though I am under a spell. Two other. Amazing Godly Christian Psychology teachers and authors (John Townsend and Henry Cloud) give incredible insight into how early childhood damage and trauma play itself out in our adult interactions and relationships. Got to put it all into practice though.
Me too Christina. I had very horrible Childhood. Horrible. And sought unconsciously the same childhood Abuser when I became an adult . I did not realize this is very common Among children that were abused Continuously . Once an adult they Are shy, quiet, people pleasers, Do not know their own feelings Or needs because they had no voice As a child. So as an adult they seek out Or they are chemically compelled Or unconsciously attracted to An abuser because that’s all they know. After 3 horrible marriages. I realized I needed help. I was in danger. With Therapy classes explaining tactics of Covert abuser It was explained to me How they groom their victim to be. They always pick out people pleasers, Quiet, unaware of boundaries, unaware Of their value and importance, their Beauty and accomplishments. I now ask a lot of questions, Such as: how many times have you Been married, why divorced? How many Felonies do you have? What recreational Drugs do you like? Are you hepatitis c Positive. What is your favorite mixed Drink? Have you ever filed bankruptcy? How did you and your ex share money Did she give you her paycheck? You may think this is too forward. Well you better know now before You invest you time ,emotions in a Criminal.
I am 5 and 1/2 years out of my last relationship. I finally identified all my failed relationships including my mother as a narcissist and got busy with my recovery. No sex in over 6 years. No plans for sex in my future. I get to be the virgin version of myself only decades later. I hope my health holds up long enough to really enjoy the hell out of this because it's been a long time coming. when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I plan to get into all of your books and workshops as the covid pandemic gets me back to right finances. You truly truly truly are a godsend in my life. Thank you from me and anybody else who suffered way I have for long enough
The best relationship I’ve been in besides with God has been with myself. I have really become my biggest fan. It’s been 9.5 months since breaking up with the ex narcissist. I had to learn things about myself and break the trauma bond and soul tie with this grown boy. I have successfully broken all of the addictions associated with having or being in a dysfunctional SITUATIONSHIP. I love being alone. From here on out. You will need to meet me at my level and respect my boundaries.
I have sought over numerous years to understand my pattern and responsibilities in my failed relationships. I have NEVER heard so much truth and wisdom condensed from one source. Thanks for providing my ticket to healing and freedom.
Just know the Holy Spirit will keep you an guide you if your heart is pure an sincere..love the Lord with all your heart an ask 4 wht.ever u need.God Bless you. Choose Life.
Karen Wiggins Yes my heart is always pure but des niggas out here ent right ! At dis point I don't know who to hook up too. Every time I wanna get a year ....ugh
I guess that our loving Lord have noticed the suffering coming from broken relationships. He has annoited you to speak on His behalf. It has been enough. We all need to learn how to do it the Godly way. I thank you for so many guidance, inspiration. I am not ready for a next relationship but still trust the Lord.
Thank you so much for your enlightenment! Part of my healing had been taking accountability of my wrongs in my previous relationship. It was having way too much tolerance, fear of speaking the words. Then when I did speak the words gently, he'd get so angry & blame me for everything. I'd acknowledge my mistakes but he never admitted his wrongs. He was a fake Christian, always using God to guilt trip me. Well God gave me strength to walk away. Took a long time to heal. I acknowledged my errors & took me awhile to forgive myself. I'm alone now but not lonely. Acknowledging I'm a Queen setting her boundaries & practicing those boundaries out of respect for myself. Amen!
Check list Heading From emotional financially spiritually intellectually psychologically Analysis Rediscovered yourself Dramatised heal from the tremors become whole Spent time with your self alone Put God first
So glad RUclips suggested your video to me. I am now a new subscriber. Looking forward to catching up on all the good content I have missed. Thank you for sharing that which God has laid on your heart. Shalom.
After 7 years in a relationship with a narcissist and FINALLY having the strength to walk away. It's taken 3 yrs for me to recover and now I can honestly say, I'M READY. To God be the glory He's been here EVERY step of the way.
I'm truly ready for my husband. The man God created only for me my twin flame/ soulmate. I'm celibate and have been for many years. I have been manifesting my husband for over a year. I'm saving myself for him & only him. Ase
This was just what I needed pastor Blakes I'm watching again but this time with a note pad so I can get started on the work. I drove from Dallas to attend your men's conference 2 weeks ago and it was worth it. thanks for all that you do.
Those are the questions I asked. He was suppose to be working on himself but jumped in something else very quickly. Being a Man having "needs". I have been working on me, being disciplined and getting so much revelation. I am Loving finding my Voice again! I would rather have clarity than being distracted by something else so soon KNOWING I haven't healed.
So grateful I found you RC Blakes! You have changed my life, helping me get clear with what I really need, what I can or can't accept, and to know when I'm ready for a relationship...Not yet! lol Doing the work on me! Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart!
Here is his checklist, but watch the whole video y’all. These are reference markers for everyone to return to each individual gem. God bless you all and may peace be with you. 1. 3:50 Heal From the Trauma (of A Failed Relationship) 2. 6:49 Break the ‘Relationship Addiction’ 3. 11:53 Discovered Yourself 4. 16:58 Analyze Your Faults in the Previous Breakup 5. 20:13 Adjust Your Tolerance for Abusive Treatment (to Intolerance) 6. 24:34 Seek Proper Counsel 7. 26:50 Cancel Previous Soul Ties Thank you for your insight Pastor. I save all of your videos for all the women and girls in my life.
Wisdom is better than silver or gold however there is a price for Wisdom! Sometimes we have to hurt over and over again to learn! Our heart needs to be broken completely to be fixed! We can heal by loving ourselves which involves; Isolating, feeling the pain, leading a life of silence, listening to words such as this, being patient (it takes time), cutting off negative people including social media, building a relationship with ourselves step by step, restructuring our relationship with God, identifying/analysing the cause of our patterned behaviour, prayer, grieving the pain. It starts with the willingness to better yourself and eventually your mind would be renewed! It is a journey a daily practice and is absolutely worth it! Do not be scared to ask God for help you’re worthy!
I just found you. I Have learned a lot. I am so grateful for your wisdom. I am Learning to have a life without him. As hard as it is and accepting who is he. And how he can be. Its not what I want in a Man. I am Forgiving, letting go because I need to LIVE. I am healing and so happy to be going through the process of forgiveness. I foing want resentment anymore. I just want peace and serenity. I want my mind FREE.
I want to thank you personally ,my dad died when I was 8 I never got this thank you for your obedience and I claim you as my spiritual dad. God bless you
Your videos are amazing!!!! I resonate with you on so many of the topics you discuss... unfortunately i was not always on the right page, I am now, but I had to learn it the hard way through experience.... I sincerely hope you can save as many woman and men from making mistake after mistake with you knowledge and readings from the Bible.... i believe when a person is ready the tools they need to guide them appear, i soo needed this for more than a decade of mistakes but I was a different person then, operating completely below the veil of consciousness.... I now, at 42 have become awake, Single for years and so happy and comfortable being single and knowing who i am.... god bless you and your work!!!!!!!
I believe everyone is broken in some way, shape or form. It's our job NOT to stay there and continue to use the victim card. You are AMAZING!!!!! Keep up the good work!
I love your videos Pastor RC Blakes! Thank you! They have been as a school for me! God puts angels to help us lift up! Blessings for you and your family!
This teaching had so many nuggets I'mma be chewing on it for weeks and months to come. And it was all steeped in the word. Any minister who can tie the message that way truly has the anointing. I thank God for you!
I love and respect this man so much, these sermons got me through my darkest weakest moments. Thank you RC Blakes. Thank you for speaking life into me. I am a Queen.
I watched many of your videos Bishop Blake, and I must say, I date myself, I travel now by myself. And I love 💗 myself genuinely. You must learn to be alone before you can share yourself. I want all of me fixed before I get serious with ANYTHING OR ANYONE! 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾❤️ Praise God for WISDOM.
I thank God I know who I am. Life has been a journey but I got to this time & place because I allowed God to teach me. Thank God for your teaching & the teaching of my dad & mom & other Pastoral leaders.
Another awesome video Pastor! I guess if relationships were easy we all would be blissfully married so when we try to do the thing on our own tuning God out and going about our own business a crash and burn is coming, sooner or later!! Re the soul ties you mentioned, on point!!! Untying a soul tie is like ripping the skin from your body! I hope more woman listen up because you are sharing important life changing information. God's continued blessings on your ministry😇🙏😇❤
Mr. Blakes, I so appreciate the time that you take to make these videos. I love that all statements and observations you make are always backed up by scripture. Thank you! 🙏🏽
Ooooooh you move from a Victim to a Volunteer! I can't Thank you enough. Yes I'm taking time to be by myself and increase my relationship with God. My discernment has widened my pond. There are no sharks allowed. I am absolutely spending more time getting council and wisdom FIRST. Loving my walk with God
I truly believe God put you in my RUclips feed because your message has touched me on so many different levels I have listened to so many of your videos and found the answers I've been looking for and the strength I've needed to realize the reality of my situation was a PhD woman being led by a GED man don't ever think the things you say don't stay with the people who need to hear them
Thank you so much Pastor Blakes. I will admit I got 5 of them right, but I want all 7 of them right. I've done everything that I know of in that last relationship to forget it. I've done everything you suggested, but the last relationship won't seem to let go. I have tried so hard, prayed about it, repent about it, I,'ve did everything I know to do, but the one thing I have not done is enter into another relationship. It's been 9 years this year with no relationship and I just refuse to go into any other relationship that God didn't put me in. it's embarrassing, but I have to tell the truth because I know that's what God want me to do. so I'll just keep on praying, keep on repenting and I know when my times comes, God already have to answer. Again thank you so much Pastor Blake, I appreciate it.
Thank you so much for this information. Never had it explained like this before. I'm taking a break from dating after being with a Narcissist for 18 months and now six months single. I came across this video at a great time as I'm working on healing 😊
I've been binging on your videos I'm a 42 year old diborcee looking to re settle and I just want to say your videos have helped me rediscover myself. Thank you!
Rc Blake I came across your RUclips a couple months ago and I tell you what I watch them daily you have no idea how much you have taught women and especially myself I'm so clueless naive and then again I think to myself how can people be like this I guess it's just a sick world we live in long story short I really really need for you or your wife to reach out to me so I can get more information I'm in desperate need I listen to Joel Olsten one of my favorites I'm now trying to connect a better relationship with God I have been married for 25 years I've done everything I can to keep my family together because I was brought up in a broken home I can no longer do it I have finally thrown the towel in and for some odd reason I'm more madder at myself self for believing that faith and hanging
WOWWWW.I really appreciate your refined,ripened fruit. I have fed on both books and I listened to you on youtube. It has helped me tremendously. My dad went ghost when I was 2 years old and I never seen him again. Your works has truly help me heal some deep wounds. Thank You so much.
Serene Carol. Yes I agree I've never layed eyes on my dad it's been 53 soon to 54 years I've never had a man to speak to me with such love an respect an I do appreciate this true man of God. I needed this right now in my life. I'm tired of messing up with the wrong type of men. Thank You Pastor Blake.
I've been listening to your words for a few days non stop. Order the books and have been sharing with friends. Where have you been? lol I needed your words, and I was blessed to find you here! Much Love and Light!
Thank you Pastor Blakes for your guidance and wisdom on how to be the Queen God ordained us to be. I wish I had known you 15 to 20 years ago, then I wouldn't of been through so much heartache and pain that Ive been through in past relationships. I will continue to put God first and know he will send my husband when the time is right. I thank you Lord for your ever lasting love and forgiveness. Don't stop doing what your doing Pastor Blakes as theirs too many princess needing to grow up to be queens, God Bless 😊👸🏾
Pastor Blakes....love the truths you speak! Most of us run on the idea of love and not the building blocks of partnering! Have been alone for close to 30 years.....scared to try again....but after finding you, I am open again.
@@jaywatson6261 thank you Jay, it hasn't been all that hard because I have such wonderful friends. I'm not so sure I was ever meant to be a wife, but when I dabbled and looked again, it was very disappointing and eye-opening. I think it is difficult to find true love. I am open to the idea but the older you get, health issues and other things can complicate things! I am always happy for those who find love!
You did this video 4 years ago I needed to hear this 4 years ago, but I’m glad God put me in the right direction towards you God bless you and your family.
Checklist before entering a new relationship:
1. Have I healed?
2. Have I broken the relationship addiction?
3. Have I discovered myself?
4. Have I analyzed my faults in the previous breakup?
5. Have I adjusted my tolerance to abusive treatment?
6. Have I gotten the proper counsel?
7. Have I cancelled my previous soul-tie? (Repent, remove, renounce, renew) (Relinquish every connection with previous relationships)
GoldenOne thanks hun
Kind of hard to cut all ties when there are children involved thought
esther ngongi Hard, but absolutely possible! 💯
Thank you! I took a screenshot and I’m putting this list on my screensaver!
Thank you
This is what my ex husband did. After our 26 year marriage ended(verbal and physical abuse and adultery on his part) he got married to the OW 6 months after our divorce. I am taking the time to reacquaint myself with me and not get involved with anyone until God sends someone to me. What I did wrong in the marriage? I put God first, I tithed, I heard God tell me not to marry him but I did it anyway. I take full ownership of what I did wrong and will never allow anyone to abuse me ever again.
+LVNCSR Great words friend!
Thank you Pastor Blake you are a God sent man of God at a time that we need it most. Please continue to speak the word of truth an help us daughters to over come. In such a time as we live in that nothing an no one seems to care what's going on in this world. I haven't formally meet you but I feel like I've known you all my life. I've never met my father its been 53 years of wishing to meet him wanting to know him, but thank God for answered prayers for sending a true man to warn us about a man. Thank you an may God Bless You Real Good !😍😍😍😊
❤love yourself first
You answered your own Question.You did what God told u not to do. So you reap the consupeunce of disobedience. Did you expect God to bless it. When we say" let your will be done Lord" then turnaround and do what we want. Thens its nots Gods will. So we cant be mad at why it didnt work. Remember , God will adds no sorrow... I know what you going through. I was in. The same situation before with a woman i thought was right.. And i was qrong the lord told me not to do it and i did anyway. I didnt listen and it caused so much heartache, and she didnt really love me lime i loved her. The worst hurtful part was she hated and blamed God that i wasnt the guy on tv.. So i feel and empathise with you.
Thanks, Cyrll!
Great wisdom. I tell people all the time, "You're not ready to be with anybody until you are ready to be with yourself. If you can stand on your own two feet, being happy with you are - making Jesus the center of your life - and you enter in to a relationship with someone who is standing on their own two feet - with Jesus the center of their life - you will have a much more successful relationship than one that is based on insecurity. We should never make another person the center of our world - that is too much pressure to put on the other person. They can't make us feel more secure. Jesus is the only one who can give us joy and security.
Miss Klass he's actually very prosperous and has s lovely family and is very well respect. I have to defend him because your assumptions are so wrong.. He admits his past so its no secrect.. Whats wonderful is that hes schooling women on what he use to do..Most men go to their grave screwed up so i salute his heart to help us..I'm so sorry for what you've endured with men and I come to you in peace.. It's not fair to say things about someone that you've never met or know. God bless you.
Embrace Truth so true that’s a great way to look at it
+Embrace Truth - Agreed, great wisdom indeed from you too, thank you! It is not just about meeting the right person but also becoming the right person! Personally, I prefer being 'alone' as I can focus more on God then and my time is far more secure and joyful that way.
Isaiah 54:5 For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
Amen...100!
As human beings we tend to have a intense yearning only GOD (our creator) can fill. I agree
It's fear, plain and simple. People hate being alone. Because when you're alone, you have to truly look at yourself. Most people don't want to see their own brokenness, it's too painful. A new relationship is a distraction. Thank you for your insight, Pastor. God bless!
It TRUE
💯💯💯
After 33yrs with a person that I wasn’t married to i stayed and 8 years ago i to another state and I love being alone.because I’m able to find me. Thank to God
I think I love being alone too much 😩✔️. But facts you wrote
Well spoken, sis ❤
A man. A father. A pastor. Our mentor that feeds the homeless and the hunger to our spirit and soul....Universal...The realist I've seen in this dimension. Incredible!
Valencia Mitchell So true!
These sermons have personally changed my life thank you so much.
Nike Nikao ... same here... he has change my mindset.. thank God for him and all of his teachings
Mines as well 🙏🏽
Me too! I’ve been listening to his teachings non stop since I found him two weeks ago. I’m already making so much progress after being stalled for so long 🙌🏽
Saaame here ❤
Sheila Yoma no i couldnt login
"my heart cannot be broken because my heart is safely invested in God" i love this part,its strikes through my heart
We leak pain into a new person ENOUGH SAID. This is good!
Wow, perfect timing... After been single for seven years after painful divorce. I needed time to take care of Me, heal and be in love with myself, I basically dated myself for seven years. Just yesterday I started entertaining the idea of entering into a new relationship and wow God is Good.. I saw this video. Because I'm also so used to be alone, I enjoy it and selfish with my time.. Thank You for taking time out and sharing Your wisdom with Daddyless daughters... Lots of love from South Africa 🇿🇦
I am presently dating but decided not to engage sexually with anyone until it is an inclusive established relationship between us. I have lost men along the way because they want sex from me before any commitment is established and I'm just not down with that. I want to be in love not someone that has sex along the way while making my mind up but one who wants to be there and plant emotions long term. Yes, I'm content to be there without friends with benefit...GREAT VIDEO
Cass, I respect your stance.
Cass L Let God Choose for you. The Word of God tells us that becoming one, or having sex, is between one man (husband) and one woman (wife).
Wait on it if it is for you, and whether you marry a man or not, you’re still luxury, and as a believer are married to Jesus, and this oneness will never end, plus! He will always treat you (us) right.
Love yourself continually
Be careful of what you tell a guy about your waiting..some may actually "wait" till y'all are in something serious to just get what he wants. So don't ever tell them too much info about your decision, it's none of their business anyways. Stay blessed
Cass L: You have not lost any men.. They have lost You!
It's all about perspective 🤗
Exactly...100 so get rid of the playaz and narcissists!
This is really insightful...i find myself in this situation...fear of being alone is real man...but there is no bypassing this season...I accept it and I embrace it.
Mike Rios it’s taken me decades to embrace and I wish I had done it sooner. I’m not kidding the second I fully surrendered my desire for a mate and excepted the possibility that God would have me live the remainder of my life in a single state with peace and contentment and no envy of others that have what I’ve always desired is when all kinds of very amazing Godly men have been coming into my life! Anyone that does come into my life now that doesn’t compliment my life, future and calling there’s no way I’m walking into that mess again! I didn’t realize desire for a Man was actually a form of idolatry for me.
Heal first...It's just not worth it
There is nothing wrong with being alone.just keep believing in god and he will send you the right person. In Jesus name it’s already done in Jesus name,🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Almost 2 years into listening to RC Blakes and I have grown so much its an amazing level of achievement for me
I love these sermons or “words of Wisdom”. RC Blakes keep it real and he tells the truth whether we want to hear it or not.
This is so relevant and flat out good teaching!
Shinea Wrigh
25:18
"I think it was clear - the last time - that you don't know what YOU doing"
Very sobering statement.
I'll wait and heal
Pain has taught me to do so. Thank you for the reminder Bishop.
Me too
purposed patience Me too. I thought I waited and healed by just stuck some bandaid on it until my narcissist ex ripped those off. I’m actually grateful for it.
I’m still learning and growing...getting to know more about myself 8 years later...thanks my Spiritual Father...
Right, I believe many are afraid to be alone, because being with our own thoughts, in our own company is so frightening. So we chose anyone rather than the right person.
For me, I wanted to be "known". It terrified me not to be. Maybe what I needed/need is to get to know myself. 🤔
Awesome teacher of Gods words...We must listen and learn no matter what AGE we are!..im 53 delivered n healed from past hurts/emotions and fake love..amen..
I enjoy my own company,i never get bored,with Jesus in the midst I am OK.Some of us are afraid of yourself so we need to be with someone at all times
You are a compass for the Christian woman’s heart and future so truly thank you💐
👍👍👍💐
Well said sister, yes you're right.
@@clare3791 thank you God bless
Amen to that sis. Ive been watching and activly changing my life as i watch.
@@hopkins-mccoy5259 God bless 💛🧡💐
Excellent advice. When you value yourself and love you 100% trust me one becomes VERY careful about who we allow into our lives, who we give our heart to because it cost SO MUCH to even get to that place of peace, love and acceptance of self. Jesus paid the price and maàaan, when that revelation comes you will NOT just be jumping into any relationship! Because God loves us so much!
D : Amen
I do have an explanation for why it is we can go through an awful and even devastating relationship (financial, emotional etc). Many of us had very emotionally neglectful childhoods and so we settle for crumbs. It’s also an addiction...looking for the high that new relationships and good chemistry can create which immediately eliminates the pressing needs to do the inner work of healing, change and growth. In my case what finally got me to realize how destructive my relationship patterns where after many decades of dead end relationships, was it finally started to impact my health! This was my day of reckoning and realizing that if I continues down this path not only would I continue to waste precious time, but also continue to incur major financial set backs, compromised health and potentially even death. What does it take for each individual to finally reach rock bottom? In my case my age, my health, my financial situation all combined quickened me enough to realize its time to take a long good break to figure out where all this destructiveness is coming from and take the time to heal very old childhood wounds that are still running the show today. Give that Child the Voice it never had!!! Honor and protect that Child instead of allowing abuse to perpetuated and resulting in deeper and longer lasting wounds that damage the soul.
Yes, and, yes! And, to add on in my case, it's the Loneliness from my childhood upbringing that is so deep rooted that I have a mean guard up, until I allow myself to "like him" then like you stated the "newness" is an euphoria feeling and it just "feels" right lol.. Until it ends again! Wow, the mind is tricky, I don't do a lot of dating and thought my alone time was spent with my Lord and Savior, but when that flesh and childhood pain creep in trying to heal with the start of a new "relationship" - it's All a mind game! With each person I meet or date, I Always ask the Lord is he from you - if not please remove him.. But, sometime it didn't matter I still did what I wanted to do! SMH Lol.. But, I Thank the Lord Jesus that now I have finally learned and understand ME... God Bless you~
TheMonica82 I’m in the same boat Monica! Now I pray that the Lord Spare me from getting involved with anyone that is going to cause me to regress. I’m very aware now that I am very prone to being tempted in this area and as though I am under a spell. Two other. Amazing Godly Christian Psychology teachers and authors (John Townsend and Henry Cloud) give incredible insight into how early childhood damage and trauma play itself out in our adult interactions and relationships. Got to put it all into practice though.
Me too Christina. I had very horrible
Childhood. Horrible. And sought unconsciously the same childhood
Abuser when I became an adult .
I did not realize this is very common
Among children that were abused
Continuously . Once an adult they
Are shy, quiet, people pleasers,
Do not know their own feelings
Or needs because they had no voice
As a child. So as an adult they seek out
Or they are chemically compelled
Or unconsciously attracted to
An abuser because that’s all they know.
After 3 horrible marriages. I realized
I needed help. I was in danger. With
Therapy classes explaining tactics of
Covert abuser It was explained to me
How they groom their victim to be.
They always pick out people pleasers,
Quiet, unaware of boundaries, unaware
Of their value and importance, their
Beauty and accomplishments.
I now ask a lot of questions,
Such as: how many times have you
Been married, why divorced? How many
Felonies do you have? What recreational
Drugs do you like? Are you hepatitis c
Positive. What is your favorite mixed
Drink? Have you ever filed bankruptcy?
How did you and your ex share money
Did she give you her paycheck?
You may think this is too forward.
Well you better know now before
You invest you time ,emotions in a
Criminal.
👌🏿👌🏿💯💯❤❤
Agree 💯 this is where I have been from a child to adulthood , but thanks to RC Blake's I have learned so much and am still learning , have a great day
He stated my motto that I live by, "you teach ppl how to treat you by what you" tolerate.
Yess, give yourself the necessary time to heal, be alone, reflect and love yourself b4 entering a new relationship!
I cancel every past hurt, attachments and soul ties in my life in THE MIGHTY POWERFUL NAME OF JESUS. AMEN
A m e n ! ! !
I am 5 and 1/2 years out of my last relationship. I finally identified all my failed relationships including my mother as a narcissist and got busy with my recovery. No sex in over 6 years. No plans for sex in my future. I get to be the virgin version of myself only decades later. I hope my health holds up long enough to really enjoy the hell out of this because it's been a long time coming. when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I plan to get into all of your books and workshops as the covid pandemic gets me back to right finances. You truly truly truly are a godsend in my life. Thank you from me and anybody else who suffered way I have for long enough
How did it go? How are you now?
You always say something that blesses me. I take heed, and am grateful to hear your wisdom. Thank you Sir.
Praise the Lord Pastor Blakes. The Lord keep blessing you, your family and your ministry! Amen!
Nyambati Kwamboka Amen sister Amen !
The best relationship I’ve been in besides with God has been with myself. I have really become my biggest fan. It’s been 9.5 months since breaking up with the ex narcissist. I had to learn things about myself and break the trauma bond and soul tie with this grown boy. I have successfully broken all of the addictions associated with having or being in a dysfunctional SITUATIONSHIP. I love being alone. From here on out. You will need to meet me at my level and respect my boundaries.
I have sought over numerous years to understand my pattern and responsibilities in my failed relationships. I have NEVER heard so much truth and wisdom condensed from one source. Thanks for providing my ticket to healing and freedom.
Yes, I added by not acknowledging red flags and dreams from GOD pertaining to a narcissist...should slow down the fast moving rollercoaster ride!
Just know the Holy Spirit will keep you an guide you if your heart is pure an sincere..love the Lord with all your heart an ask 4 wht.ever u need.God Bless you. Choose Life.
Karen Wiggins Yes my heart is always pure but des niggas out here ent right ! At dis point I don't know who to hook up too. Every time I wanna get a year ....ugh
Bishop, your heart is felt through your videos. Thank you for sharing Godly, practical wisdom. 💛
I guess that our loving Lord have noticed the suffering coming from broken relationships. He has annoited you to speak on His behalf. It has been enough. We all need to learn how to do it the Godly way.
I thank you for so many guidance, inspiration. I am not ready for a next relationship but still trust the Lord.
Thank you so much for your enlightenment! Part of my healing had been taking accountability of my wrongs in my previous relationship. It was having way too much tolerance, fear of speaking the words. Then when I did speak the words gently, he'd get so angry & blame me for everything. I'd acknowledge my mistakes but he never admitted his wrongs. He was a fake Christian, always using God to guilt trip me. Well God gave me strength to walk away. Took a long time to heal. I acknowledged my errors & took me awhile to forgive myself. I'm alone now but not lonely. Acknowledging I'm a Queen setting her boundaries & practicing those boundaries out of respect for myself. Amen!
Check list
Heading From emotional financially spiritually intellectually psychologically
Analysis
Rediscovered yourself
Dramatised heal from the tremors become whole
Spent time with your self alone
Put God first
So glad RUclips suggested your video to me. I am now a new subscriber. Looking forward to catching up on all the good content I have missed. Thank you for sharing that which God has laid on your heart. Shalom.
"someone who has a successful rate", from wise, proven people.
After 7 years in a relationship with a narcissist and FINALLY having the strength to walk away. It's taken 3 yrs for me to recover and now I can honestly say, I'M READY. To God be the glory He's been here EVERY step of the way.
I'm truly ready for my husband. The man God created only for me my twin flame/ soulmate. I'm celibate and have been for many years. I have been manifesting my husband for over a year. I'm saving myself for him & only him. Ase
My life changed dramatically because of your advices! I listen to you, since 2019, every day! I can't thank you enough! I love you R. C. Blakes!
This was just what I needed pastor Blakes I'm watching again but this time with a note pad so I can get started on the work. I drove from Dallas to attend your men's conference 2 weeks ago and it was worth it. thanks for all that you do.
People need to stop and spend time with themselves before trying to connect to another person just chill. Fall in love with God!)
Marty's House. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
This was perfect, I needed to hear this and I have received it!
Brittany Bryson Amen
Those are the questions I asked. He was suppose to be working on himself but jumped in something else very quickly. Being a Man having "needs". I have been working on me, being disciplined and getting so much revelation. I am Loving finding my Voice again! I would rather have clarity than being distracted by something else so soon KNOWING I haven't healed.
This one was really powerful. I think recognizing what is abuse is a key factor in the process of changing your behavior.
I'm a new scriber. I like ur delivery. It's very personal. You speak vicious Truth.
Bless you, this has really opened my eyes!! What a revelation.
Your words are like a strong cup of coffee ☕️ I need it to sober up! Thank you 👍
So grateful I found you RC Blakes! You have changed my life, helping me get clear with what I really need, what I can or can't accept, and to know when I'm ready for a relationship...Not yet! lol Doing the work on me! Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart!
Pastor I'm hearing exactly what you are saying. You definitely have to give yourself time and heal. God bless you also
Glory be to God! I took my affirmations straight from this lesson! Thank you for this Pastor Blakes!
Here is his checklist, but watch the whole video y’all. These are reference markers for everyone to return to each individual gem. God bless you all and may peace be with you.
1. 3:50 Heal From the Trauma (of A Failed Relationship)
2. 6:49 Break the ‘Relationship Addiction’
3. 11:53 Discovered Yourself
4. 16:58 Analyze Your Faults in the Previous Breakup
5. 20:13 Adjust Your Tolerance for Abusive Treatment (to Intolerance)
6. 24:34 Seek Proper Counsel
7. 26:50 Cancel Previous Soul Ties
Thank you for your insight Pastor. I save all of your videos for all the women and girls in my life.
@Dee Dee you're welcome!
Thanks Pastor...I'm still learning at 38
Me too
Wisdom is better than silver or gold however there is a price for Wisdom! Sometimes we have to hurt over and over again to learn! Our heart needs to be broken completely to be fixed! We can heal by loving ourselves which involves; Isolating, feeling the pain, leading a life of silence, listening to words such as this, being patient (it takes time), cutting off negative people including social media, building a relationship with ourselves step by step, restructuring our relationship with God, identifying/analysing the cause of our patterned behaviour, prayer, grieving the pain. It starts with the willingness to better yourself and eventually your mind would be renewed! It is a journey a daily practice and is absolutely worth it! Do not be scared to ask God for help you’re worthy!
I PRAY SOMEONE IS REALLY TAKING THIS IN AS WELL AS LISTENING.
As you have - right??
Really good questions and points to ask yourself before entering a new relationship. At work binge-watching your videos.
I just found you. I Have learned a lot. I am so grateful for your wisdom. I am Learning to have a life without him. As hard as it is and accepting who is he. And how he can be. Its not what I want in a Man. I am Forgiving, letting go because I need to LIVE. I am healing and so happy to be going through the process of forgiveness. I foing want resentment anymore. I just want peace and serenity. I want my mind FREE.
R C BLAKE'S YOU ARE THE BEST!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE. I LISTEN TO YOU ALL THE TIME🌻
Pastor Blakes I sure wish I lived in your area to attend your sermons. I enjoy your videos so very much.
Denise McDuffie STAY IN THE WORD, And God “will bring to your remembrance what He has told you.”
(Deuteronomy 31.8)
Me too!! I would love to attend his church. I'm 💔 that he is not in Charlotte.
I want to thank you personally ,my dad died when I was 8 I never got this thank you for your obedience and I claim you as my spiritual dad. God bless you
Who's still watching Yah given brilliance in Mr Blakes. I long for my bio dad😢 but I believe in The Most High. Enjoy these vids!!
Your videos are amazing!!!! I resonate with you on so many of the topics you discuss... unfortunately i was not always on the right page, I am now, but I had to learn it the hard way through experience.... I sincerely hope you can save as many woman and men from making mistake after mistake with you knowledge and readings from the Bible.... i believe when a person is ready the tools they need to guide them appear, i soo needed this for more than a decade of mistakes but I was a different person then, operating completely below the veil of consciousness.... I now, at 42 have become awake, Single for years and so happy and comfortable being single and knowing who i am.... god bless you and your work!!!!!!!
Your videos bless me so much. .thank you for being a spiritual father and teacher
I believe everyone is broken in some way, shape or form. It's our job NOT to stay there and continue to use the victim card. You are AMAZING!!!!! Keep up the good work!
"sometimes you're claiming victim status and you're the perpetrator..."
gender wars.
the politics between him and her and they and them.
I love your videos Pastor RC Blakes! Thank you! They have been as a school for me! God puts angels to help us lift up!
Blessings for you and your family!
This teaching had so many nuggets I'mma be chewing on it for weeks and months to come. And it was all steeped in the word. Any minister who can tie the message that way truly has the anointing. I thank God for you!
I listen to you like a prep talk before I overstep . Thank you
I love and respect this man so much, these sermons got me through my darkest weakest moments. Thank you RC Blakes. Thank you for speaking life into me. I am a Queen.
I watched many of your videos Bishop Blake, and I must say, I date myself, I travel now by myself. And I love 💗 myself genuinely. You must learn to be alone before you can share yourself. I want all of me fixed before I get serious with ANYTHING OR ANYONE! 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾❤️ Praise God for WISDOM.
THIS INFORMATION IS NOTHING SHORT OF THE HEALING TRUTH ...THANK YOU BISHOP BLAKES!
I thank God I know who I am. Life has been a journey but I got to this time & place because I allowed God to teach me. Thank God for your teaching & the teaching of my dad & mom & other Pastoral leaders.
These sermons feel like a personal testimony to me. God bless you abundantly.
Another awesome video Pastor! I guess if relationships were easy we all would be blissfully married so when we try to do the thing on our own tuning God out and going about our own business a crash and burn is coming, sooner or later!! Re the soul ties you mentioned, on point!!! Untying a soul tie is like ripping the skin from your body! I hope more woman listen up because you are sharing important life changing information. God's continued blessings on your ministry😇🙏😇❤
Elizabeth Cameron Thank you 🙏🏾 Much Love and appreciation.
Mr. Blakes, I so appreciate the time that you take to make these videos. I love that all statements and observations you make are always backed up by scripture. Thank you! 🙏🏽
Ooooooh you move from a Victim to a Volunteer! I can't Thank you enough. Yes I'm taking time to be by myself and increase my relationship with God. My discernment has widened my pond. There are no sharks allowed. I am absolutely spending more time getting council and wisdom FIRST. Loving my walk with God
I truly believe God put you in my RUclips feed because your message has touched me on so many different levels I have listened to so many of your videos and found the answers I've been looking for and the strength I've needed to realize the reality of my situation was a PhD woman being led by a GED man don't ever think the things you say don't stay with the people who need to hear them
I loveee it! I needed this. “It was clear the last time you don’t know what you’re doing!” (Repeat) Speak to me, Pastor.
Your content is amazing
This video is so on point!!! Love it💯, I reposted it on Facebook 😊
I needed this spoken wisdom 11 years ago…. I’m listening now…. I’m paused right now and I’m adjusting….
Preach Pastor Blakes, this is powerful thank you I had to share this. WOW! Ooohh Soul Ties! Father heal those I shared with in Jesus Name!
Thank you so much
Pastor Blakes. I will admit I got 5 of them right, but I want all 7 of them right. I've done everything that I know of in that last relationship to forget it. I've done everything you suggested, but the last relationship won't seem to let go. I have tried so hard, prayed about it, repent about it, I,'ve did everything I know to do, but the one thing I have not done is enter into another relationship. It's been 9 years this year with no relationship and I just refuse to go into any other relationship that God didn't put me in. it's embarrassing, but I have to tell the truth because I know that's what God want me to do. so I'll just keep on praying, keep on repenting and I know when my times comes, God already have to answer.
Again thank you so much Pastor Blake, I appreciate it.
Thank you so much for this information. Never had it explained like this before. I'm taking a break from dating after being with a Narcissist for 18 months and now six months single. I came across this video at a great time as I'm working on healing 😊
I love the way you preach the word
RCBlakes
On point. Love your teachings . I thank you for your knowledge and. Wisdom pastor Blake.
I've been binging on your videos
I'm a 42 year old diborcee looking to re settle and I just want to say your videos have helped me rediscover myself. Thank you!
Rc Blake
I came across your RUclips a couple months ago and I tell you what I watch them daily you have no idea how much you have taught women and especially myself I'm so clueless naive and then again I think to myself how can people be like this I guess it's just a sick world we live in long story short I really really need for you or your wife to reach out to me so I can get more information I'm in desperate need I listen to Joel Olsten one of my favorites I'm now trying to connect a better relationship with God I have been married for 25 years I've done everything I can to keep my family together because I was brought up in a broken home I can no longer do it I have finally thrown the towel in and for some odd reason I'm more madder at myself self for believing that faith and hanging
I was forced to publicly post my Divorce Request to relinquish a soul tie. Moving forward in faith 🙏
WOWWWW.I really appreciate your refined,ripened fruit. I have fed on both books and I listened to you on youtube. It has helped me tremendously. My dad went ghost when I was 2 years old and I never seen him again. Your works has truly help me heal some deep wounds. Thank You so much.
Serene Carol. Yes I agree I've never layed eyes on my dad it's been 53 soon to 54 years I've never had a man to speak to me with such love an respect an I do appreciate this true man of God. I needed this right now in my life. I'm tired of messing up with the wrong type of men. Thank You Pastor Blake.
I've been listening to your words for a few days non stop. Order the books and have been sharing with friends. Where have you been? lol I needed your words, and I was blessed to find you here! Much Love and Light!
Thank you, I'm finally at a point in my life 2 receive this info, listen and learn from it!!!!
Thank you Pastor Blakes for your guidance and wisdom on how to be the Queen God ordained us to be. I wish I had known you 15 to 20 years ago, then I wouldn't of been through so much heartache and pain that Ive been through in past relationships. I will continue to put God first and know he will send my husband when the time is right. I thank you Lord for your ever lasting love and forgiveness. Don't stop doing what your doing Pastor Blakes as theirs too many princess needing to grow up to be queens, God Bless 😊👸🏾
Pastor Blakes....love the truths you speak! Most of us run on the idea of love and not the building blocks of partnering! Have been alone for close to 30 years.....scared to try again....but after finding you, I am open again.
Wow! I thought it was a long time for me at 20 years - You're an inspiration - God bless you!
@@jaywatson6261 thank you Jay, it hasn't been all that hard because I have such wonderful friends. I'm not so sure I was ever meant to be a wife, but when I dabbled and looked again, it was very disappointing and eye-opening. I think it is difficult to find true love. I am open to the idea but the older you get, health issues and other things can complicate things! I am always happy for those who find love!
I love it when Holy Spirit talks and convicts my heart! Seriously needed this video I don't want to make the same mistakes.
I found your channel about a year ago...and it has blessed me so. You are ALWAYS on mark with your teaching. God bless you & your beautiful family. ❤
Thank you Bishop, renew the mind, renew the mind before stepping out. Heal thyself. Praise be to God...
🧡💛💛💛yes. I just stopped jumping in meaningless relationships. Been single for years. I took time off to heal. And think about who I am.
This is really helping me. Thank you for your ministry! 🙏🏾
You did this video 4 years ago I needed to hear this 4 years ago, but I’m glad God put me in the right direction towards you God bless you and your family.