Why you should stop giving narcissist more chances

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  • Опубликовано: 12 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 98

  • @Jess-n5o
    @Jess-n5o 6 месяцев назад +35

    The more chances you give them, the worse they treat you, they then think that they can do anything and you won't go

  • @ri52177
    @ri52177 6 месяцев назад +86

    No matter what don’t go back!

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 6 месяцев назад +5

      I definitely second that! 🙋‍♀️

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 месяцев назад +3

      👏🏽

    • @Fabtruluv7915
      @Fabtruluv7915 6 месяцев назад +3

      Amen!

    • @Mishy555
      @Mishy555 6 месяцев назад +3

      Yup

    • @JamesHunt-ey5gw
      @JamesHunt-ey5gw 6 месяцев назад

      ​​​@@MentalHealnesswhy aren't men allowed in your focus/support groups? Because not all narcissistic relationships involve personal relationships or better yet dating relationships 6:09

  • @2L82Sk8Bye
    @2L82Sk8Bye 6 месяцев назад +54

    Truer words were never spoken. So many regrets. So many overlooked red flags. RUN! Don’t doubt your gut feeling. RUN!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 месяцев назад +4

      🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

    • @dZeNa.
      @dZeNa. 6 месяцев назад

      First nark took me six years and the second six months when I started to tell him something is off something is he really off your hiding something from me?

  • @bribri9231
    @bribri9231 6 месяцев назад +29

    Exactly. Ppl be sooo insecure that they stay with narcs and let them abuse them. It’s not normal. Find healthy love

  • @hindwidad2723
    @hindwidad2723 6 месяцев назад +19

    It’s true. The more chances you give, the worse the behavior gets because they really believe you won’t ever leave them

  • @cincyfanjunglecity9871
    @cincyfanjunglecity9871 6 месяцев назад +20

    Don’t give them another chance. Give yourself a chance.

  • @gigicooper1759
    @gigicooper1759 6 месяцев назад +20

    It was 18 yrs of marriage, I had NO idea what I was dealing with and I can say without a doubt, forgiveness means nothing to a toxic person. Now divorced and NO CONTACT for 3 yrs. Knowledge is power and you can move on.....leave and do not go back. Love yourself and don't waste your life on a POS!

  • @MizrahiChick
    @MizrahiChick 6 месяцев назад +35

    Yeah, must make them feel so powerful. " Look at what I can get away with "

    • @ginawillis4
      @ginawillis4 6 месяцев назад +4

      Facts!!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 месяцев назад +3

      💯💯

    • @idontkknowyou9518
      @idontkknowyou9518 6 месяцев назад

      Just like all of the validation this site is giving this narcassist.

    • @bakertony6054
      @bakertony6054 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@idontkknowyou9518 Can you please elaborate?

    • @PS-qn4oz
      @PS-qn4oz 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@idontkknowyou9518 He's not mistreating us and asking to come back, Grumpy.

  • @cincyfanjunglecity9871
    @cincyfanjunglecity9871 6 месяцев назад +14

    Because it only gets worse. If you thought they cheated on you while together , you will be even more suspicious what they’ve been doing while split up. The break in between only causes more problems on top of what you already had before. Pound that in your head before you give these horrible people another chance.

  • @marthasaunders3844
    @marthasaunders3844 6 месяцев назад +17

    Even when you think that mask has fallen and you've seen the worst of this person you haven't. They have so many layers to their mask, imo, plus no morals which makes it a recipe for disaster. They lose complete respect for you once they discard you and ramp up the abuse if you take them back. Ex: physical abuse didn't occur until the second round and it was over after the first time. I wasn't going to be physically abused as well. Never go back once you leave, under any circumstances!

  • @mortischahicks5341
    @mortischahicks5341 6 месяцев назад +6

    Leave at the first violation. NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! DISCONNECT! DISCONNECT! AND KEEP IT MOVING RUN NOT WALK AWAY...

  • @tranquility9325
    @tranquility9325 6 месяцев назад +13

    True criminal story. One lady had 2 kids from a crazy dude. They weren't married. He was neglectful towards the kids and she had to do everything for the household and kids by herself.
    He told her: if you keep on, you will end up like Gabby Petito.
    She didn't heed his warnings. He took her life. They eventually found her remains.
    Yall best listen.. this is serious.

    • @kempthegamer1528
      @kempthegamer1528 6 месяцев назад

      Not totally related, but reminds me of this: my ex told me that when he was younger he used to get his (female) neighbor, of about the same age, to give him handjobs when he was mad/upset. Like he would bully her into it. Well surprise, surprise to me, he bullied me into having sex with him 100s up on 100s of times. And it's not like I wasn't giving him any. I had a much higher sex drive than him when we met. He destroyed that. When he didn't want to have sex, I didn't pressure, but he wouldn't leave me the fuck alone about it. He also told me he "likes to play chess" and "wanted to be a lawyer".
      They absolutely give u signs. Or flat out tell u indirectly. He eventually stopped pressuring me, after I left him many times over it. He's with someone else now. And I don't know if he's gonna pressure her or not. I probably should think he's gonna in some way, but he stopped doing it to me for so so long that I wonder if he just knows better now to not do that to anyone so he can hide his true self longer.

  • @yinaortiz2305
    @yinaortiz2305 6 месяцев назад +6

    Giving chances is a BIG NO! I made that mistake until I made the decision to walk away. 5 years of disrespect and the discard; narc is telling me he’s getting evicted. He expects me to help him now and I won’t. The audacity. Leave at the first violation.

  • @ESTERN-BLIZZY
    @ESTERN-BLIZZY 6 месяцев назад +22

    I’ve taken this tip and mentally noted it. Thanks Lee.

  • @jahmowelch2231
    @jahmowelch2231 6 месяцев назад +6

    😎Your so right, people who are narcissist don't change in general.I just finally acquired the strength not to go back.Especally with my no contact, keep up the great work Lee🤜🏾🤛🏾🇺🇸🇨🇦

  • @claireh.7605
    @claireh.7605 6 месяцев назад +10

    I had a doubt about my therapist and was going to leave. He said “The women in group therapy will go crazy over you.” So I joined. My sister said he has many red flags, but I stayed for ten years with him, only to realize this guy is nuts and abusive.

  • @sandoracastelaux
    @sandoracastelaux 6 месяцев назад +4

    Im 33 years old and I've been in relationship for 3 years with narcissist... Thank you for helping me in this hard time... Now I understand more, my eyes are open. Now it's time for me, for love and respect myself again.

  • @mariameg2
    @mariameg2 6 месяцев назад +11

    I feel stupid he ghosted me one time, the second time he ghosted me it gave me ptsd

  • @nmd33
    @nmd33 6 месяцев назад +2

    So correct! With my 1st narc, I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt. Stayed 2 years in a hell, and after leaving, it took me 3 more years and a lottt of tears to be fully healed. I did meet other narcs since then, but they weren't able to cause so much damage because I started having boundaries and took my distance at the 1st red flag. So listen to Lee and stay safe.

  • @richardsmith175
    @richardsmith175 6 месяцев назад +6

    I completely agree. My ex tested my boundaries and I regrettably let her keep coming back. If I had kicked her out after she told me that she cheated on me, then I would be living in my own apartment instead of with a friend. I'm grateful for his hospitality but I like living on my own. Never again will I allow narcissistic women a chance to disturb my peace.

  • @SherryG370
    @SherryG370 6 месяцев назад +6

    This is why we need to "suit up" our children with high self esteem.
    They wont have to watch these youtubes...❤

  • @Indigenious.Kopper.Goddess
    @Indigenious.Kopper.Goddess 6 месяцев назад +4

    Lee right 💯 I have been cut n them off immediately. Life has been amazing and Peaceful. Narc free 😁

  • @brandyjean7015
    @brandyjean7015 6 месяцев назад +7

    Lee, you are not the average narcissist. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  • @foxygayla
    @foxygayla 6 месяцев назад +5

    Amen. Treat people right. God doesn't want us with toxic people. Read 2 Timothy 3. ❤

  • @lizericsonn9367
    @lizericsonn9367 6 месяцев назад

    It gets so much worse. So so much. Your warnings about he might kill me are why I am two states away and still running. Thank you. He’s still tracking me and all the online stuff but I am 1000s of Ks away and getting help now

  • @godsfavor6939
    @godsfavor6939 6 месяцев назад +12

    Don’t do it!!!

  • @freshh_toast
    @freshh_toast 6 месяцев назад +1

    There’s scripture about narcissists in 2 TIMOTHY 2:25. “Difficult times will come” “AVOID SUCH MEN AS THESE”. It is WRITTEN! People just want to ignore the word and claim forgiveness, NO. Ignoring this is STUPIDITY.

  • @cindyglass5827
    @cindyglass5827 6 месяцев назад +3

    This applies to a *workplace* someone just started at too ... [imho] : )
    ... Another Great Video - full of Straight to the Point ''&'' Truth telling advice !!!
    Much Appreciated, Thank-you !

  • @dZeNa.
    @dZeNa. 6 месяцев назад +1

    And when they openly tell you that you are not allowed to laugh with everyone to talk to everyone to give every person your hand that you have to listen to him whether he says things you are allowed to do or not allowed to do if you want to get married to him andyou can’t go out with people he can’t stand

  • @Lizas888
    @Lizas888 6 месяцев назад +1

    All I went through with him taught me. Lee, because of your red flags 🚩🚩🚩I dismissed a person that was to work for me on Fri. not even a hr. after meeting then RED FLAG,🚩🚩🚩out they went!! No one gets my time or effort anymore. If I had let it slide it would have gotten worse. I’m not going to be mad at myself.🎉🎉🎉

  • @latashahumphrey769
    @latashahumphrey769 6 месяцев назад +4

    Great job helping people.😊

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 месяцев назад

      🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • @latashahumphrey769
      @latashahumphrey769 6 месяцев назад

      💯

    • @latashahumphrey769
      @latashahumphrey769 6 месяцев назад

      @@MentalHealness I'm sure it's people that r thankful for your help just getting home from work watching these topics

  • @dumpmail-xz2qp
    @dumpmail-xz2qp 6 месяцев назад +1

    If I could turn back the time, Id end it soooo much sooner. It is true, I gave my ex narc friend so many chances and she would only do better temporally when I speak out and then become worse and more disrespectful... while shaming me for that I tried to talk things out. I wasn't even asking for much and she would still try go even under the bare minimum. Not worth it, big waste of time trying to encourage them to show their good side more, especially when the narc find a enabler sabotaging your whole bond because he cant handle there was someone else heavy involved in her life all those years.

  • @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS
    @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS 6 месяцев назад +1

    This is what I learned after my last relationship was over. I should have ended it with the first red flag... at least by the 2nd.

  • @judyyates2763
    @judyyates2763 6 месяцев назад

    Believe him. You're on your way to full-blown abuse. Do not think you're being dramatic. No. You will be abused by an evil being. Leave now. Red flags? Run do not walk. Protect you.❤

  • @wild-child5364
    @wild-child5364 6 месяцев назад +7

    Love to you

  • @kimberlyearly7704
    @kimberlyearly7704 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yep, in the bible it says to forgive, but it didn't say you still have to deal with that person, you can forgive and move on. Cause the Lord do not want negativity in our lives.

    • @PantaRhei-wz5zn
      @PantaRhei-wz5zn 6 месяцев назад

      Do not cast your pearls before swine...😉

  • @deborahd641
    @deborahd641 6 месяцев назад +5

    When people ✨️don't✨️ wanna take my advice but want to keep coming to me whining abt the same ✨️TOXIC✨️ issues I remove them from my life as well. I refuse to be worrying abt adults who want me to be their enabler as they whine abt very unhealthy issues that is in their control to change, but they decide they don't want to change. I'm like...yall not gonna stress me & waste my time & mental health. So called #family included.👊🏾💯

  • @mjcharlot
    @mjcharlot 6 месяцев назад +2

    Facts!

  • @virgounapologetic
    @virgounapologetic 6 месяцев назад +7

    U bet not!!!!

    • @incognito595
      @incognito595 6 месяцев назад +2

      I have literally given the Narc a Hundred Chances! Because, for the moment, I am trapped here! NIGHTMARE. You are beyond Right! Thank you.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  6 месяцев назад

      💯💯‼️

  • @ree3197
    @ree3197 6 месяцев назад

    I hope your channel blow up.. you offer really good advice. Thank you! ❤

  • @HectorKom-cg5if
    @HectorKom-cg5if 6 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you very much for your help. It is very helpfull.

  • @sth1399
    @sth1399 6 месяцев назад +1

    It's because I always say to myself that no one is perfect.. I fdel just stupid at this point

    • @IsabellaPiesch
      @IsabellaPiesch 6 месяцев назад

      That has nothing to be with perfect. Narcissistic people have a personal disorder... (So that is something totally different). Those people can´t change. Therapy can help them but they can´t change their personality.

  • @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp
    @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp 6 месяцев назад

    🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 yes I will do that for the first red flag that I say the person ain't no good run for the hills thank you Mr Lee

  • @MelissaDiNapoli-zq5ic
    @MelissaDiNapoli-zq5ic 5 месяцев назад

    Facts!! Been there done that got the tee shirt, over it!!!

  • @SurvivorC
    @SurvivorC 6 месяцев назад +3

    Even God divorced Israel. The Bible is full of boundaries. I wish I'd known. Proverbs is full of warnings about the wrong people.

  • @michellehendrickson9652
    @michellehendrickson9652 6 месяцев назад

    So damn true

  • @unknownentrappment_ed3522
    @unknownentrappment_ed3522 6 месяцев назад +3

    cool.

  • @Sam-s3o8x
    @Sam-s3o8x 6 месяцев назад

    I need your help im 8 years in but I've now applied for a divorce I don't want any contact but I have a 6 year old boy who is his only son please help ne understand why a narcissist wants to get married

  • @nilaja-itsmylife
    @nilaja-itsmylife 6 месяцев назад

    This goes for friends too ya’ll

  • @scorpionaddiction2801
    @scorpionaddiction2801 6 месяцев назад +1

    Is it okay to give more chances if they are improving and want to improve?

    • @tunomi36
      @tunomi36 6 месяцев назад +1

      Let them go on to be the best they can be..... without you!!

    • @scorpionaddiction2801
      @scorpionaddiction2801 6 месяцев назад

      @@tunomi36 I think they would be much worse off without me to support them and encourage their change.

  • @cletiawilliams1436
    @cletiawilliams1436 6 месяцев назад

    If i left the first time.....i wouldve have my house vehicle job and peace. I wouldnt have my daughter thats my world .!! But whew chile.....people i wanted a baby in th worst way....and yeah thats how i got her.! Just to say please 🙏 dont go back.! The narc dont change they become more worst with the disrespect etc.

  • @collectivemindsunique7945
    @collectivemindsunique7945 6 месяцев назад +1

    Exactly. God does not condone abuse. You can Google or study the scripture and there’s many verses spoken and written on different types of abuse and grounds for divorce.

  • @roseannjohnson47johnson41
    @roseannjohnson47johnson41 6 месяцев назад

    Cause there like the car wash wash rinse and re-peat 😅😅😅😅

  • @monicalacy6622
    @monicalacy6622 6 месяцев назад +1

    🎉

  • @SurvivorC
    @SurvivorC 6 месяцев назад

    @mentalhealness I would like to see an I'm brave women's baseball cap!!!!! ❤

  • @TM-te5dp
    @TM-te5dp 6 месяцев назад +1

    💯💯💯💯

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 Месяц назад

    The bible says to stay away from these dam people 🙄 i know God wamts me to get a divorce idc