For me, Pride is for anyone who is proud of who they are. It’s a safe space/community for “people on the spectrum”, as much as I would like to think. I do personally relate to being gay. It’s the one label I do identify with. But Pride is always a moment or a celebration about the mosaïc of who we are and our pride, to be ourselves, and to love who we love. But I do understand why someone would not identify with that and it’s okay. That’s my definition or the one I carry with me when I think about pride. It creates a sense of community for me where anyone is free to be themselves So cheesy I know 🧀 LOL ❤️✨
Been following your content for years and years and years, and have just now started to support you on Patreon as I couldn't before. Hope it helps. I'm always looking forward to your videos, and hope you'll keep posting for a long long time 😊
I've explicitly stated to other queer ppl that i see pride as anti-shame. It doesn't need to be verbalised or demonstrated. If you internally balk against the shaming society or any given individual heaps upon you, you're doing "pride" in the context of justice. That's really it. Everything else is just a choice of how to express that inner affect.
I think Pride is always a very subjective experience. I have always felt that Pride month is an annual celebration of the battles queer and trans people have overcome, to remember those we lost, and to energize ourselves forward. I feel like it's whole purpose is to allow us to live our lives as authentically and as naturally as we each see fit. It's all about being able to own who you are (and what you are if that's something that empowers you) and just not be ashamed. So if being stealth empowers someone to live their best life, all the power too them.
You’re absolutely right when you say it’s about celebrating our progress. Unfortunately, during Pride it seems that some people would rather not remember their own history (like the folks who thought it was a good idea to call the police on a trans black woman advocating for black trans lives at Stonewall on the 50TH anniversary of Stonewall).
@@idiosyncraticOfficial oh my gosh i hadn't even heard about that incident, i don't understand how or why people would be so toxic at a pride event! Especially on the stonewall anniversary! It's definitely true that a lot of younger gen def forget the true reason we celebrate gay pride (lgbtq+ pride) in the first place 😞 i was in providence celebrating on the 50th & it was a beautiful thing overall (always a *few* idiots at events in the city, but fuck them)
I completely agree, it pains me when people at pride don't understand what pride is truly about for the community, ESPECIALLY when we live in the information age & history is literally at our finger tips!!!- it can be very hard to not be frustrated with people who go to pride & don't have even a basic understanding of the movement's HISTORY. It's kind of funny, it almost makes me wonder, WELL if you don't appreciate the fight that went on over the last several decades then... yeah? why ARE you here? Lol
Pride means (to me), just mentioning my lesbianism in conversation without fear. It also means just casually shopping in the men's department without praying that the workers not notice me.
I read a Facebook comment of a trans woman who talked about her pride of being trans was because she made it to 53 and how she knew that this world would have took her life long ago if she didn’t pick and choose her battles by being open about being trans in certain spaces and being stealth in others.
pride for me is trying to love myself even when i don't pass, even on bad dysphoria days. pride is finding all the small things about being trans that i love so much. to try to ease the frustration i feel at not being seen as who i am. pride is knowing that i will still love and cherish this aspect of myself even when i pass, even if im stealth, because it has impacted me and my life significantly and not only in bad ways. even if in the future i am not loudly open about being trans, it will always be a facet of my identity and the experiences that have shaped me
I substitute teach and I feel like being such a D&D nerd who's gone to art school and dresses so gothy and strange (I get mistaken for a high school student a lot) really does help some of the artsy weird kids I meet, they all think I look cool. I laugh and tell them I hated school as an environment, I tell them it's so temporary just get through. I think seeing me look so gothy and eclectic, like my weirdness thrived after school makes them hopeful. Seeing that I'm confident in that whole strange vibe, that I can legit tell them basically high school is Petri dish for exacerbating insecurities and url "No body cares and if they do, they have the problem" that makes it so worth it. Seeing a kid draw something and asking "Is that for D&D?" Or "Is that My Hero Academia?" I see their faces, I know it helps them. I see myself in every nerdy art or science kid. It makes my day. It's a different pride but it makes it so valuable to be seen. I normally scroll over and fix typos, etc but it's late and I finished my cab sav so I'm just going to hope what I type is coherent and sleep.
personally as a bisexual i had to make a conscious decision between suppressing my love for women in order to seem straight and be accepted or be free to love who i love and be happy. and when i started to get depressed i suddenly had the urge to come out or it would be the death of me. and when i came out i had bad reactions from my family that made me feel sad and ashamed. but recognizing that other people’s expectations shouldn’t dictate what made me a good person made me accept myself and i’m proud to have surpassed my internalized biphobia and to live regardless how other people would reject me from being bi. so my pride for me is like protecting myself. like a kind mother who says that you’re valid and to keep doing what you’re doing despite other not wanting you to. i hope it makes sense
I'm out to family and friends but don't push it further. I don't tell random acquaintances. Except in youtube comments apparently. But I always go to pride.
Silky Wyrm i don’t think it makes sense to think about it as pushing it if it’s relevant to clarify in the context of the conversation. unless you don’t feel comfortable of course
@@jdprettynails if you like women you're fully bi! are people asexual until they date someone? no :> they are just who they are! personally i wasn't in a relationship with a woman when i decided to come out but idk i felt like involving my loved ones more into my life but that's totally your choice alone to make
I think stealth trans women can still have pride, they're just not as open about it. Like, they can have internal pride for the journey they've been through and what they've accomplished in their transition. Just a thought.
I think that’s fair. You can feel things even if you aren’t public about those feelings. I can be proud of an accomplishment even if I’m not talking to everyone about it, so the same logic could reasonably apply to identity
I always felt pride is about visibility and to show that LGBTQIA+ people can thrive. That's why I'm so invested. It's been one of the few public representation in the community I'm in. I get to go and feel like at least some parts of me are normal or that I don't have to explain myself as much. It's the reason I watch your videos. I don't see LGBTQIA+ people often in my world other than a couple of friends and the internet otherwise. So I appreciate you being here and talking about the things you talk about. Thank you🤗
Shoutout to the cishet woman who got viscerally mad at me (a then 18 year old) for having never been to pride lmao. Idk I’ve just never felt the compulsion to do it you know? I’m proud of a lot of things, liking guys isn’t one of them
In Poland, there is no 'gay parade', it's called Equality Parade and it's about more than (at least in theory) just white cis gay men. And it's about more than just the LGBT community, it's a march for disability rights, it's a march for immigtants, it's a march for animal rights, for equal treatment of people of all genders (now including, imagine, non-binary people! not a girl-guy thing anymore, yay). So that looks good on paper and sounds amazing. Personally, just leaving the whole 'is Kat a proud trans woman in my opinion' thing, I'd go in the direction of a general idea of pride, its history and its relation to colonialism. The period of LGBT community being what we know today started at Stonewall riots. Stonewall riots are known by that name - Stonewall riots. Nobody I've ever heard talking about this event referred to it as anything else than what it was, and it was a direct response to colonial violence that Black, indigenous and other colonized communities have been facing since they've first came in contact with white people. You are a rebel. Those white people waving their colonial spoils in the faces of colonized people who've they robbed to get it have nothing to be proud of. That's my hot brew on this subject.
I absolutely love pride, i get the opportunity to 'dial up' the real me. I always talk to some new & incredible people, they are practically strangers but I know I am safe around "My people" . There is the cultural heritage that I need to honour & respect by going to pride events. It really does feel like coming together as a community for the benefit & betterment of all of us.
Also, I attended pride for the first time this year. I think the initial disconnect came from the fact that I am an introvert, so the sheer amount of people was draining. But I think the deeper, more substantial disconnect was rooted in the fact that I was surrounded by people who were supposed to be "like" me, and I was supposed to feel a certain comfort from being around people with a mutual understanding, but somehow I still felt distant. I felt like an imposter, because my pride didn't function in the same way these people's pride seemed to. I had the opportunity to be as loud, proud, and queer as wanted to be, but when contrasted with the people attending pride, I didn't really have a lot of loudness, pride, or queerness in me. Perhaps this alienation was unconsciously perpetuated by me not integrating meself, and rooted in some kind of internalized queerphobia, but I really don't think it was. Another interesting aspect of pride is the fact that I am very visible in the concrete, physical sense of being very tall. People who were immersed in a sea of expression, skin, color, and noise, yet somehow I still managed to filter through that and was noticed. A part of me had hoped that being in such a concentrated area of visibility, I would finally be able to go unnoticed. I suppose this was naive, but it takes some of the spirit out of pride when I spend the majority of the time concious of people staring at me (which is made more uncomfortable by the fact that drunk people don't seem to care if you catch them staring😂), being recruited by the police officers who are in attendance, and realizing that regardless of how vanilla I may be, there will always be parts of me that are too exotic to go unnoticed, even in spaces like pride.
I pretty much have the same feeling of alienation at these pride events. I am quite sure there are two main reasons for my feeling. My irrational hatred of my own transness that translates to some form of implicit transphobia, where I am avoiding as much as possible any other trans person, because I am literally afraid of their transness and the way they are handling their trans related issues. The second main reason is the need for speaking and taking part in conversations at these events. I have unfortunately this severe lack of confidence as soon as I have to use my voice. For the obvious reason that it is undermining my otherwise kind of passing appearance.
i know i never comment but i promise i’ve been watching your videos for years now!! i’m just shy 😳 anw you said “what does pride mean to you” after describing the whole stealth thing and i sorta wanted to answer that question as an arab muslim lesbian u feel so i’m lucky to have open minded parents but i still don’t ever plan to “”come out”” to them. i never plan to have a girlfriend or a wife or anything like that. i’ve had people tell me i’m not a real lesbian or whatever but i sorta just shrug it off as them speaking for me which i’m totally not here for but pride to me is less like “i’m going to let everyone know i’m part of the LGBT community!” with pride pins and all that and more like “i accept this part of myself and will do as i please with the fact” because like while yes i am a lesbian,,,like i’m also a lot of other things? if that makes sense in high school i was super adamant on finding my identity and would get sad because i know i can’t come out to my parents and whatever but at some point i can’t to the realization like “what difference does it make to my like. lesbianism. if my parents know?” and sis! it changes nothing! i still like girls and the only difference would be an elephant in the room? i guess? idk that’s my take on pride. i think it’s super empowering when people are “”loud and proud”” and i’m very happy when i do see people with pride pins and stuff (pushing aside the fact white gays assume i’m homophobic lmao 🙄) but the “loud” part isn’t for everyone anyway that’s my take 😳 sorry if my comment got rambly 🤔
I've always felt that it's kinda strange being proud of something you can't control/ something you didn't achieve. Things like nationalism or the achievements of your ancestors fall into that category. How can you be proud of something you had no affect on? I think a lot of people don't approve of pride parades because they think people are just proud of their LGBT+ status, which they didn't personally achieve or anything. But actually the people in the parade are proud of realising what they are, coming out and fighting for equal rights/privileges. These things really are personal achievements, so it makes sense to be proud of them but idk maybe I'm just crazy
I would say I'm proud of my own achievements and journey, but also I'm proud of the people who came before me and fought for me to be able to be who I want to be.
This, and I would add that I think there is this pressure for LGBT+ people to be quiet about it and never bring it up. Pride is refusing to do that. It's allowing yourself to take up the same amount of metaphorical space as your non-LGBT+ counterparts and not be sorry about it.
This video resonates so much with my experience. There is not a part of me that wants to go about my life disclosing to people that I am trans. Is it a harmful mindset to have? I dont think so, but many of my trans friends and people I meet online like to make me feel as though it is. I remember watching a live Q&A on Instagram and asking what the person's opinion on being stealth was. She replied with something along the lines of "I want to be visible so that future trans people can be, too." This reply made me feel a certain guilt, as though some how me not disclosing my transness is going to revert the progress we have made in fighting for trans rights. I see where she is coming from, as I benefitted from the increase in representation we have seen over the last decade, particularly the past 5 years. I guess where the disconnect comes for me is why does the responsibility fall upon individual trans people to be out and visible? I feel like there is something so radical and powerful about a trans woman defying the expectations put upon her actions and body, just as their is something powerful about a trans person wanting to disclose their transness despite being passing. I live as a woman, and the way people treat me reflects that. In fact, living the way I do opens up different experiences that openly trans people dont have access to. I get a personal look at how cis people really feel about trans people, because when cis people talk about trans people with someone who they think is cis, the conversation often takes a very different turn. I have had conversations where people tell me about how trans people are just feminine boys who can't accept their femininity, or how it is just insane to undergo srs. I get access to these thoughts, and have the ability to interact with them in a way many trans people don't. Also, like you said in your "Why is Left Tube so White?" video, people are more likely to respect the thoughts and opinions of people who they perceive as being more like them, or who have been attributed as more worthy of respect by society as a whole, and thus I am able to provide knowledge and education that is more readily accepted. It's hard for me to want to relinquish this privilege, because unlike the way privilege usually functions, I dont see how this in particular harms other trans people. I think being cognizant of my privilege as a passing, heteronormative trans person is important, however, I don't think it needs to be relinquished in the same way other privileges do. I will say that I dont think it should be a goal or the ideal for a trans person to be stealth. I support all of my trans family, in fact I have what many people would consider radically progressive views about gender, so it's hard for me to feel like I am harming the trans community, or myself, because I personally dont connect with that part of myself. The trans community constantly preaches about acceptance, positivity, and growth. My lifestyle is simultaneously idealized and scrutinized. There are entire subreddits dedicated to passing, criticizing one anothers appearance, yet many of those people are the first to criticize those who dont actively engage with their transness. If a trans person could undo the fact that they gained popularity on social media by capitalizing on their transness give it back if they knew one day they would be passing? I can't speak foranyone, but a part of me tells me that those who tell me I need to accept my transness wouldnt be so proud of their's if they didn't experience the pain that comes with many trans narratives. A part of the reason I dont connect with my transness is because the narratives I've heard about trans people I don't resonate with me, and for me claiming an identity involves internalizing the experiences that tend to come with it.
For me Pride is a protest. Celebrating all we've been through and remembering/honoring those we've lost. Id love love love to go to pride but sadly i live in a country where being lgbtq is illegal. I have hope that everyone in a similar situation will get to go to a pride parade someday. Idk i hope that doesnt sound silly, it's just something i hold out for. So really i see pride as a protest. A resistance and a celebration/memorial. And that's beautiful cuz we all are
Honestly for me Pride is just a festival where I can hang out and have fun with my friends, but that's only because most of my friends are already LGBT, so I have my own microcommunity within the community. Birds of a feather, I guess. It's still super important to me, because I know that for some people, Pride can be a life saver, just like the lgbt community in general. I think it's really important to be visible and I do get that visceral feeling that you talked about, that need to give back to the community and help other trans people so they don't have to struggle as much. Knowing that there are so many people who are going through the exact same thing can do wonders - when you see someone who's just like you, who is happy and has everything going well for them, it gives you hope that things will be okay for you too. It helps to finally have a role model that you relate to and really see yourself in. I wish I could be that role model but I'm not sure I really have pride. I guess I've internalized too much transphobia. I have trouble seeing myself as a woman even now, after having started laser and HRT and now that I'm passing. Without transitioning, I just couldn't accept myself as a girl. I feel like I have to be "a full woman", whatever that means (probably bottom surgery) to be able to take myself seriously and for other people to take me seriously. I feel like cis women have something that I lack. On the topic of passing and being a straight girl: I have some really complicated feelings about this. On the one hand, I really wish I were cis. I wanna be exactly like the other girls. On the other hand, this would basically mean that I'd have to go stealth. You see how this conflicts with my desire to help other trans people by being visible? Another thing that bothers me is the fact that I'm straight. I find that I really relate to your transition (heh) from a radical teenage queer to a cis passing straight woman. I used to identify as a gay guy, and then as genderqueer and gay, but when I finally figured out my gender identity, I had this weirdly painful realization that I couldn't see myself as gay anymore. You see, I'm pretty young so I had all those queer role models growing up that I talked about before. I was looking forward to living my life as a gay man and being proud of who I was. So when I had to start identifying as straight, I wasn't exactly thrilled. I'd always felt that because I was gay, my future had kind of been stolen from me, but I slowly started envisioning what my life would be like because of all the wonderful visible people in the gay community that we have today. As the image of who I was going to be became clearer and clearer, my resentment for heteronormativity grew. I despised society for shunning queer people from the prospect of having a normal life, but simultaneously embraced the idea of "queer time" and the fact that I was never going to be like the straight people. Now I'm going through that exact same thing AGAIN, except this time I have to go back to the heteronormative, gender rolesy script that I've been rejecting for years? I mean, I'm not sure I even LIKE myself. I don't like who I'm transitioning into. 15 year old me would probably hate me. I went from being someone who's very non conforming and counterculture to literally the most gender conforming person ever who just wants to fit into cishet society. And that's because I don't really have a sense of self and I only care about passing, ultimately. The weird thing is, I've noticed that I'm starting to be attracted to women and non binary people too, but part of me is insecure about that and wondering if it's just because I wish I were gay, and I see being queer in some way as somehow better than just being straight. I kinda hate myself for having these feelings because I think I'm a huge hypocrite - i don't like it when people say they don't want to be gay or that they wish they were straight, but I'm doing the same thing in reverse. What if I just want to be interesting and special and being trans but passing isn't good enough so I have to be queer too? so that's where I'm at right now.... just a big dysphoric ball of really conflicting thoughts and feelings of blending in and going against the norm. Sorry for the wall of text, but you did say True Tea was for essay-length comments 😅
I’m pan/bi and consider myself somewhere on the genderfluid side of the gender spectrum. But I present heterosexual and cis, at times. Sometimes I have super Becky hair and I’m dating a cis man. Other times I’ve got a pink mullet and I’m dating a woman. Or a non binary person. I’ve always griped with my pride because of my fluidity. Sometimes I struggle with the feeling that I haven’t earned it. Like when other people see me at pride events they might be glaring thinking I’m simply cis and heterosexual. So for me pride has really just become about taking my time and opening up an celebrating in the ways I need to. It’s also communicating to others around me, when I feel ready, that bisexuality/pansexuality and gender fluidity are real, aren’t phases, and that I don’t exist as either a lesbian or heterosexual when I’m in certain relationships. I think pride is a unique movement and I think we as a community will always have infighting about where other people need to stand on that spectrum, but I think we could all do a better job of respecting where people are in their pride journey and believing them when they tell us their truth. ☕️ sipping on some yogi peach tea
Oof this is a good question. But I do feel like... I don’t know if “generations” is the right word, because you’re 28 and I’m 25, however I realised I was trans at around 22? And started transitioning last year. So our ages aren’t that far apart, but I definitely understand the gap between what you read about and from trans women. My biggest influence on trans “culture” was tumblr (I know yikes, but also I am thankful bc I’m here and alive thanks to that) and as you can imagine, it’s all about being out and loud. But I do struggle a lot with the concept of being stealth, if I’m honest. I’m super proud to be trans, I love talking and educating people around me to the best of my abilities, I love making people conscious about trans issues and history, the whole deal. But i certainly am *very* afraid about my day to day as a trans guy. Passing, being stealth, is my goal at the moment. I don’t want to be clocked. I don’t want to be afraid of existing for being who I am, I struggle with the idea of reconnecting with people from my past, of being recognised by old friends, etc because I have to come out over again, I have to expose myself and put myself in danger (this is linked to paranoia and anxiety mostly, but we know it’s not unfounded). In short I don’t like to bring attention to my own trans status. But not because I’m not proud of being trans, I love going to pride and as I said, everything about having and making conversations about transgender issues and other lgbtqi+ matters, being trans is also a big part of my own identity due to the introspection journey I took before I figured it out. So I do don’t think it’s a lack of pride, it’s more sort of an overcompensation of self preservation? There’s societal things that can’t be ignored, and we don’t owe anyone to put ourselves at risk in order to fit someone else’s definition of pride. Pride can be quiet and can manifest in many different ways. Some people take a lot of pride on existing while trans and only them knowing so. Some people take a lot of pride on taking a very visible stance on their transness.
my xangas haunt me to this day, I probably have three or four of them out there that I probably can’t ever delete. Unfortunately my experience with pride this year has been reading a lot of homophobia, bad takes, and unpleasant discourse. I think this is mostly because I don’t have the irl LGBT community that I really want and need yet. Also I’m very worn out by the rainbow capitalism, which I think has been amped up this year.
I know you get some people criticizing your "rambling" but I really appreciate your video style. It feels very genuine, like I'm having an organic conversation with you and I like it. 😊 thanks for doing what ya do! I have learned so much from you
Great video! This True Tea might as well be cabernet because the content is just that deep! This might be controversial, but honestly - as a man who is at least attracted to other men, but other than that is an enigma to himself - I've always been kind of confused by the whole "I was born this way" or "I never chose my identity" consensus, especially when it comes to sexuality. I mean, I get that it's politically expedient to paint sexuality as something beyond choice, and I know that for many people such statements are true, but it really doesn't speak to my experience, and I find many people can have adverse reactions to choice when it comes to labels and physical manifestations of identity. I mean, I know I have a true identity that transcends labels, but in my mind I and I alone choose the manifestation of that identity and how I express it. What if I "want" to be gay? Or what if I "want" to be bi? Straight? I'm not trying to advocate forcibly changing my true identity, but as I see it, my sexuality can be as trivial as clothing or as important as my name. Maybe being married to a woman but being exclusively attracted to men better expresses my identity than being married to a man? I don't know. This is all pretty speculative. I just think pride should include both true and expressed identity, even if it boils down to choice. Just as I would want pride for those who were born into an identity, I am proud of my assumed identity, because in my limited opinion, both forms are intended to represent truth.
When you talk of choice do you mean the innate passive sense of attraction or the identity and how this innate sense manifests in dailt life and self-understanding?
I don't know to what degree I chose my sexuality, but I would probably choose it again if I could. I think in a way I did choose to be trans, in part at least that was a choice that I had some agency in at one point in time. And I'm proud of that, but even more proud of what I overcame to be who I am. Its basically not allowed to question the "born this way" narrative in the lgbtq+ community but there are people everywhere who don't feel it fits them, they just mostly keep quiet about it, for fear of hurting the community or being shouted down. The basic fact is that people deserve to be able to have sex with who they want or to be the gender they want. They don't need an excuse! Trans rights and gay rights are human rights because we all deserve to do what we want as long as we're not hurting anybody else. People will say that nobody would choose to be oppressed, but while we don't WANT oppression, people make choices all the time that lead to oppression. Don't we choose our religion or atheism, even if there are social consequences? Don't people actually die for their political, religious, beliefs, etc? Why would they do that if they could just choose to be a different religion or just join the less oppressed political group? Obviously there is more to human behavior than just choosing whatever is easiest.
@Ame Oropeza I totally agree that it sounds odd, but I think identity in general is an odd subject that thrives through an expansion of our understanding. I think as long as expression of identity isn't tarnished by violent behavior directed at nonconsenting individuals (be that speach, action, whatever) it is very important that we explore what identity means. Our understanding of ourselves I would think exists prior to our understanding of language. That's why you have a lot of young homosexuals in the 20th century who cannot accurately express their "otherness" because they have no concept of homosexuality as a thing. I think that, having a language to describe our identity, we posess the ability to transcend these "labels" and become incredibly specific in the way we express ourselves, and doing so requires pride much like space exploration requires courage. However, it seems many in the community find this stance repellent or insulting. I would argue that many make such judgments because they are afraid of regression in regard to political and social acceptance and progress. But our forebears did not pave the way by appealing to the masses. Truly I think it's impossible to fully express identity, but knowing this I find liberating rather than limiting. It grants the opportunity to invent self rather than succumb to unexplored desire.
@@shiningdalek7185 Well a great deal of faith coincides with accepted Theology. For instance some Calvinists base their worldview in the concept of Total Human Depravity, which would suggest that any form of righteousness is impossible through human will, and that only by Grace can any salvation be achieved. Fully opposed to that stance would be the LDS tradition in which humanity only exists within the realm of agency. Christians, and especially American Christians, find the basis for Theology in both canonized scripture and personal experience, so I guess that would factor in as well. I would argue that Theological belief is completely up to the choice of the individual, however, especially seeing as how much scripture lays claim to Authority within its own text. This would be like if you believed I am God, and someone were to ask you "Why do you believe that?" And you reply "Well, he says he's God, so he must be." Many times Theology or canon is not recognized as a choice, because it is many times a reaction for or against societal norms and/or upbringing. This has always been a place of interest for me, because I've always seen faith as a tool, rather than a end in itself. Faith can be adopted as a means of achieving a certain mental state as well as being a mode of expression. I've always enjoyed Harold Bloom's concept of religion being applied poetry in that it involves the creation of a self through which a world view manifests.
you know what I love about your videos, or specifically your rambly videos, is that I feel like we sat down together and you trust specifically me and I am just listening and absorbing what you say. That may be a really surface level comment but I do selfishly think your videos make me a better listener. I love learning from you, I love hearing from a person who has strong opinions AND sees both sides; you have been all I've been watching the past couple of weeks. I appreciate your honesty and that you are willing to be wrong or for people to disagree with you. You are so confident and I really look up to you. I talk about your videos to my friends all the time and I really just wanted to let you know how impactful your videos are. Thank you for being honest and thank you for teaching me things I didn't know I needed to know about myself.
My xanga was a glorious seizure inducing collage of gif stamps and animated sprites. I miss it. I'm so happy you mentioned it though, most people seem to have forgotten xanga.
Pride to me is quite a personal and maybe relatively boring thing. Because I haven't come out to more than a couple people, I've not experienced hate from others in my life for being bi (hopefully never will), but while I was trying to figure out my sexuality I was constantly denying my own feelings and trying to twist them to be straight, in a way. So I guess pride to me is just being happy that I'm finally at a point where I can acknowledge and accept my own feelings for what they are rather than try to suppress them. Great video kat :))
Love this conversation. For me, as a cis, white, gay man (who can pass for straight), I used to feel very detached from my sexuality being something to celebrate. Nowadays, for me, pride means (1) that I'm proud of those lgbtq+ people that paved the way for my rights, and (2) I'm proud of the personal adversity I've faced due to my orientation. I'm starting to embrace more of my inner femininity and submissiveness, and I'm feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I don't think this would have been possible without feeling pride for my gayness... Idk if I'm explaining it clearly, but I hope you get the gist! ❤
I've never been to Pride but honestly I think I'll only really be able to enjoy the concept of pride as an individual (maybe among close friends) since I generally feel pretty disconnected from the whole event. I'm introverted, I'm autistic; there's a whole list of reasons why I wouldn't feel comfortable in that kind of crowd. The idea of marching in a parade and waving a flag around just doesn't suit me, but I don't think that means I don't have pride. I'm just not sure how to express it when the 'designated' event to do that isn't really for me. I was excited to experience Pride a few years ago when I first came out but now it almost leaves a sour taste in my mouth because from my perspective, it just looks like a party I can't access. My cis straight sister and her matching friends went to Pride just to have a good time and get drunk at a gay bar, and I was left behind. This just left me feeling that pride is never going to be what I want it to be, especially since so many corporations have latched onto it. So I dunno where that leaves me this month.
I'm an asexual illustrator and to me, pride is about claiming validation, and about sharing the different experiences so more people feel normal and validated. I received a couple of messages thanking me for saying I was asexual because they were too and they appreciated to see an artist they liked being ace. Also I helped a friend who felt lost to realize he was ace too. It felt beautiful to see more people feel validated thanks to the pride and to sharing experience, the same way I felt wrong but then discovered an ace pride page and realized I was ace thanks to it. Btw I love your videos, you are amazing!
RUclips summoned several of your older videos. I'm both impressed and pleased that you were super articulate as well as adorable, but also you have matured and become even more of a fine speaker since those times :D It's really cool seeing a progression of an already awesome person into an even more awesome person, and I love that you support Pride even if it isn't something that does a ton for you personally
I'm proud to be a trans woman. I don't discuss it all the time, but I'm generally "out", and have been out for years now among my social circles. I've never actually gone to a pride event of any kind, though. Maybe I might like to go someday... but I'm straight, and also present myself in a fairly standard feminine way. I'd still like to give it a shot, but part of me worries that I might feel a bit out of place? I dunno.
I’ve ~*also*~ had very very complicated feelings about pride. And woman! if one could see my livejournals 🤢. Anyway as a transwom who once ID’d as a gay boy (frfr used to say my gender was a certain f word until I learned of the community of men who “serve” in that identity) I used to try to participate as any gay boy would. And those Pride moments reignited the suspicion that I was *not*, in fact, a gay boy. Ignoring the anti-Blackness incubated in the larger lGbt community (i’ll try), the way I saw myself reflected in the gaze of so many (men tbc) I was less and less shocked to find that what I consciously radiated was not understood by those around me...but what I was was maybe seen and known-a messy straight black girl with a hard-on for personal space.
I live somewhere very conservative. As much as I wish pride was something I can do, I would honestly settle for owning a pride flag. I can get in trouble for hanging one anywhere and I can’t buy one
z bowyer that’s really awesome!! I am glad that you made that step for yourself For me it’s a bit scarier because displaying it in public can get me arrested (yeah its one of those places...)
Maybe it’s because I’ve been raised in a black household where it’s always been emphasized to not tell anyone our business, but I always get annoyed when someone (regardless of gender) tells you that you have to share something that’s personal to you (gender identity in your case Kat) when you didn’t ask for their input lol I’m a cis straight passing bisexual (pansexual? Idk I just don’t care about someone’s gender identity/sexual orientation in an attraction sense, if I like you I like you) in a relationship with a cishet dude, so I’m generally unbothered regarding personal traumatic experiences with my sexual orientation. I am extremely privileged in this sense, and have no idea (beyond what I’ve read and heard from trans people) what it’s like to be trans. I understand how you sometimes feel in queer spaces due to your experiences, and wish everyone would let people move and express themselves at their own pace yknow? It’s ludicrous to assert that you Kat are ashamed of your trans identity because you don’t bring it up In every circumstance. On the other hand though, my parents are queer and I learned from an early age not to associate queerness with otherness. Between being from Atlanta and my upbringing, Pride was a regular event and queerness was generally celebrated (once again, a huge privilege). I feel for all LGBTQIA+ people who struggle in their experience, I just worry about others such as yourself being pushed to present your experiences in a narrative that doesn’t necessarily reflect your reality or consider your feelings. Whew chile long comment, great video as always!!!
Can you do a video on LGBT representation in media? I'm graduating with a degree in Digital Media with an emphasis in film and I want to create work that is inclusive, but naturally, being an cis straight girl despite my intentions, I am bound to make mistakes when trying to write or include people who have different stories from mine.... And I live in a place where there isn't a lot of out LGBT people, so a "PSA Don't do this shit when representing LGBT/ polyamorous people" video would be a maybe cool video. I know you can't speak for everyone, but your opinon would be interesting. I don't want to reinforce bad stereotypes or tropes like the "bury your gays" stuff, but I am sure they are more things that are annoying that are inherently less obvious to people who are not apart of that community. Can you spill the tea on bad representation and what makes good representation?
As a bisexual person who cares about media representation, I really appreciate your caring and thoughtfulness! I can definitely recommend some RUclipsrs and media sites that talk about LGBT representation: Marina Wantanabe (MarinaShutUp, though she hasn't been making videos lately because she now works at Bitch magazine, but she does have tons of videos on this subject), Riley Jay Dennis (her video essay on Supergirl comes to mind as example of her talking about bad representation, and her video on Netflix's reboot of One Day at a Time is a good example of her talking about good representation), Leon Thomas (Renegade Cut, he does film and politics, and he's straight, but he's a great ally) Annie Segarra (Annie Elainey, they talk about sexuality, gender and disability, and they have some videos on disability and sexuality media representation, an intersection that's not talked about much) and Paige and Sarah (The Princess and the Scrivener- they look media representation analysis for race, gender, sexuality and disability). Hope this helps!
@@MyNontraditionalLife This is my fear.... Representation is a very nuanced things, and while I understand what makes good representation for a Black woman, and I can see obvious red flags with LGBT and other minorities, it tends to get dicey when it comes to the little things that eventually add up in creating a problem... It's why a lot of filmmakers I know just won't even bother trying to represent other minorities because it is too complicated to catch everything. I don't want to do that either because while I understand that thinking, thats also not right.
Thank you for another insightful video, Kat! I think there's a noticeable relationship between experiences of oppression/discrimination and the need to vocalize some form of Pride. What I'm seeing is that trans people who pass, such as yourself, experience less discrimination and therefore experience less of a need to express their *personal* Pride. What you're expressing now is more of like an empathetic pride, perhaps. You don't need a Pride march to know your gender and your experiences are real and valid; what you're doing is being visible for the next round of trans kids who need someone to look up to. It's like a different flavor of Pride, but it's still Pride!
I just want you to know that you inspire me. I'm going to be a journalist, i'm good at writing but not so good at speaking and communicating what i'm thinking right in the spot. You inspire me to comunicate better and say what i have in my mind. 💕
This is pretty much exactly how I feel about being bisexual. I'm a woman now married to a man. So I'm not dating, and I'm straight passing. It's just not relevant for me to tell people I'm bisexual. So, most of the time, I don't go through the struggles most LGBT+ people do. If I go to an LGBT+ space, I feel like an impostor or even an invader. Sometimes I feel like I should be "out" more, but my old friends and family generally know. If a new friend says something ignorant, I might come out to them to show bi people are out there and add more authority to my argument. If I fill in a form asking about demographics, I tick the bisexual box. If there's anti-lgbt legislation, I'll argue against it on social media etc. But that's pretty much the extent of my advocacy. I haven't even been to any pride events the last few years. Should I be doing more? I don't know.
Pride makes me feel... sad. When I've gone as a single woman it's been fun, but when I go with a boy it's hard. Because its assumed that I'm straight. Because you can't have a boy and a girl in a relationship if they both aren't straight. Right? But also pride is... loud. I get headaches if there is too much noise, light, ext. I hate being touched. I feel like lgbt spaces aren't safe for me because lgbt isnt the only thing I am.
Pride in my area (one which is extremely liberal) has been absolutely taken over by ~zesty straights~ who use it as an excuse to wear fetish gear in public that pushes right up against public indecency/exposure laws in areas downtown that are *literally* right next to elementary schools that do run childcare services during the summer. I was way more into it when I lived in the South (read: somewhere conservative af) and having Pride was a brave and actually useful/radical political action. Here, it's just squick inducing. Oh, I'm bisexual, by the way.
Living one's truth is PRIDE! Being smart enough to live every day is also pride! Compromising your life for others comfort regardless of orientation really fails to put the responsibility of oppression and abuse on toxic heteronormative majority where it COMES FROM. We really need to get our heads right about this.
Pride to me means knowing I don't have to change anything about myself for someone else, but I can change anything about myself for me. And no matter who/what I am or become, that also won't make me any better than those I didn't change for. I think pride is stronger with a dash of humility. 💜
So I found your channel about three weeks ago, and I really enjoy your content. I bought “My Best Friend is a Monster” for my 8 year old daughter and she loves it!
This video really did help put some word to what I've always felt about pride. Coming from a Hispanic family, I've always had a weird relationship with being bi and my gender due to a lot of cultural things (machismo, first son, Catholicism, etc.) and never came out to my family. This is then compounded by being in a relationship with a woman, so even being open in college it gets erased. My understanding of pride started to form when I realized how much I presented an image of what people wanted to see me as rather than who I am, and slowly trying to reclaim my identity and self and take pride in who I am. So pride has become in my mind a way to push back to the pressure others have projected on me. edit: Completely forgot to mention how much I have loved this series, I'm a new viewer but these videos hit a perfect spot for a long format conversational tone that feels comfortable to engage and comment. These videos are the first times I've felt like leaving youtube comments on videos from everything they get me thinking about. Love the series and can't wait for more!
I’ve just started watching ur videos and must say u r very beautiful Kat! I lovv lovv ur hair! This is about the third vid I’ve watched, the topics r great and so well spoken. Also love true tea and the more rambly vids cause it rly feels interactive. Hopefully next time I’ll have some wine to drink w u hahah :^) jus wired on coffee
I often feel bad for not feeling great about pride. Like I'm doing something wrong - I should be loud, proud, sexually open (in whatever shape that should take) but these aren't things I feel and I don't know if they're things I want to feel. And I feel guilty for not feeling them, not feeling connected or part of a 'we' or a community.
Watching Kat makes my day 20% better automatically. She's always so open and smiling, I could watch her even if she was selling me a time share property. However, I especially liked this episode. IF YOU READ THIS HI KAT.
i have been trans & open about it before i knew about the closet & transphobia. so pride to me is like "i told you so" & dealing with idiots. it's basically pride in having knowledge. it's also a sense of fighting idiots & haters. i like passing (currently i come across as a femme whatever, artsy basically) but i don't trust people to fully accept us & having basically been at war for 2 decades it's shellshock. so pride is like pilgrimage & getting support (dear God, I'm about to cry). but yes, omg the advice-giving thing is very much part of my life
The time I went to a pride fest and parade, I just felt out of place(even as a gay man), because I'm quite introverted. And honestly, as the guy who made friends in high school by simply sitting with particular lunch tables and currently not really having anyone I would call a friend, I find it difficult to talk to new people because I see that they already have a group or that I think they would rather be left alone. Being gay wasn't something I completely came to terms with until I was a senior in high school. Because I have this fear of how people may react to me coming out and a feeling that I don't need to tell everyone I see that I'm gay. Case in point, my boss for my job doesn't know that I am gay, because I don't see why it would be necessary to tell her. And normally the way I come out to people is when they say something heteronormative at me, like "isn't that girl hot", and I just say something like "I find guys attractive" if I say anything at all. Because of how I was raised and an incident in middle school where the most popular guy in school drew a bad picture of a dick and wrote "William sucks dick" on it, I just feel at least a bit scared that someone would pound me in the face if they knew. The irony is that is when I finally realized that I was into men because I looked up "man sucks dick" and gay porn came up. So, in general, I'm scared to flirt with men where there are a lot of gays guys, because of my introversion, and I'm scared to do so when that isn't known about them because I don't want to get physically hurt.
Great video Kat! :) I think I'm in a similar place to you. I "pass" completely and while all my close friends know I'm trans, new people I meet and random strangers can't tell that I am just by looking at me. I generally don't tell them, because there's usually no reason to bring it up. If I did talk about it, I'd also have to be prepared to have that trans 101 conversation and it's exhausting to do that over and over again. I had enough of those talks early on in my transition when I didn't have much of a choice because my transness was obvious. But does it make me less proud if I don't talk about it with everyone I meet? I don't think so. For me it's something I do more out of self care than anything else. And in contexts where trans stuff comes up, I do out myself if I think it will add something to the conversation, as long as I feel safe enough to do so in that particular enviroment. But I do like Pride. Where I live, it's tiny but generally very welcoming. But then I'm also bi so that may affect how I feel about taking part in it.
pride to me is an inner contentment and peace. like, it's one thing to be told "there's nothing wrong with being the way you are", and maybe you understand that's true on an intellectual level, but it's a completely different thing to truly believe it, and find it in you to accept yourself fully, especially if you're living in an environment that is actively hostile to what you know in your heart that you are. to me, who's most definitely an introvert, broadcasting my pride isn't necessary; it's optional and situational, something one should navigate after one's own comfort. i guess an extrovert might get more out of that kind of thing than i ever could. i firmly believe pride month and the marches are a really positive thing though, in the sense that it sends a message to young and/or closeted lgbt+ folks who might feel lonely, isolated, or who might struggle with self acceptance. it's a yearly reminder to anyone who's listening that we're out here, and all one has to do is reach out to find acceptance. it's a beautiful thing to me, even if i don't personally elect to talk openly about my private life with random strangers solely to make a point about how comfortable i am with myself. did i answer the question adequately? i hope so lol
I'm bisexual and have been going to pride for 5 years but still don't connect with it. I think I'm still ways off dismantling all my internalised biphobia and shame but I keep going because even though I myself don't feel at ease and prideful in my sexuality it is great to see others who are and I have hope that being around them will help me be more comfortable with myself. I'd say not feeling shame in the context of LGBT+ matters IS pride - whether it's neutral like yourself or full-on surrounding yourself in LGBT+ culture. You do not let family, colleagues or society make you feel shame for something that still for the most part is not yet fully accepted. Feeling proud and ok about who you are when the world says you shouldn't, that's really powerful and internally freeing. I think it's great that you have moved through shame and become so comfortable with your trans-ness that it's a non-issue. I also hope we get to a place where it's no big deal to begin with.
Great video! I am not a person who typically likes the genre(?) of 'individual talks about their life and stuff' but there's a lot of really complex issues that get talked about here. I always come out of watching one of your videos having totally different feelings about something. I also find these videos helpful in recognizing where im at in life and how I navigate the world. So im glad to hear you like them and it's helping you so much 💜 I also think pride is about living your life the best you can, also being or attempting to be at peace with where you are in your journy I think is a major part and remembering what we're fighting for and remembering those who have paved the way and fighting for a better tomorrow. I personally have never been to pride because I do not do well in crowds or in the summer heat and I also find corporate and police involvement to be a deterrent to me feeling comfy (I think there were some marches that are free of all that?). I also don't tell tons of people that im trans but if you seem to be a part of my life it's gonna come up since I'm nonbinary and use they/them pronouns. The whole being trans thing isn't really a big deal to me (aside from me caring about trans issues, and I'll always talk about em when they come up (this is another time I might tell someone I'm trans)) like I poke myself once a week, I go to the doc every few months and I pass as not my assigned gender at birth so i'm mostly good and there's no reason to talk about it. I don't feel shameful about being trans unless I've encountered a rare transphobe irl... I really take in a lot of what people dish me out. It's not hard to make me feel shameful thanks cptsd
I identified as a trans man because I thought it was better for me to be stealth. I was trying so hard to be a good trans man especially since I'm Afro-Puerto Rican. Realizing that I'm actually agender has been kinda hard on me though I feel a bit more peaceful now because of it. Me being trans, being agender, shouldn't be a political statement but yet people make it that way and though it's annoying, I do realize that I don't want to live stealth because I actually don't mind people knowing I'm trans. I'm proud of it tbh. When I went to my first pride, I felt so welcomed, I felt home. I felt like I could actually be me for once and not hide in front of everyone. Even though I hate that my existence is inherently political (because I too am a boring person) I wouldn't change anything about my identity because I take pride in it
I am an ex-Mormon and when most exmos leave the church, they have this urge to constantly be talking about the information they were previously withheld by the church because that's what they wish someone had done for them when they were in the church. This is not usually well-received, because Mormons are primed to see criticism of religion as criticism of themselves, but I do still think there's value in it. I went through this process too, and I still feel this way from time to time, but mostly, I just feel tired. I don't want to talk about it anymore, not because I am ashamed, but because I'm tired of having to defend myself or my position. I think with LGBT+ identities, it can be similar. As a queer person, "staying out of the closet" is something I was not prepared for. It feels like I could blink and find myself back in the closet because so much of being out is coming out to every new person you meet, most of which will think you're obnoxious if you bring it up too early but dishonest if you bring it up too late. It's like having the same conversation over and over again, and it often devolves into trying to justify or defend my sexuality, which is exhausting and takes a toll on my mental health. I constantly feel like I'm taking a stance on LGBT+ issues just by existing, and by doing so inviting conversations that I don't want to have. I don't know if it's the same for trans people or even other gays, but this is my experience. While I think it's important to be visible to those who are not safe to be, I think it's important to balance that with your own health and safety, and that balance might look different to different people. Ideally, I think when ( and if😬) things get better, pride will become less of a celebration and more a day of remembrance for those who fought for our rights. That's not to say it won't still be celebratory but we won't have to focus so much on visibility, and can instead focus on gratitude.
Drinking brown rice green tea while I just sift through spreadsheets at work, your rambles are super soothing and informative. Your unapologeticness is refreshing! I haven’t attended a pride yet but for me it feels almost gimmicky and it makes me uncomfortable to attend. I’ve been learning in therapy to embrace my vulnerability but that a difficult to do in a situation like pride where everything is looked at through rose coloured glasses. Unfortunately when you have people at pride that are showcasing their problems on placards and aren’t super smiley and dancey, those are the folk that are so vulnerable and also at risk from counter protesters
Pride to me is definitely when people who are put down by a majority are proud and happy to be who they are! And it makes me so happy and proud to help others in the community! I think its also a form of spreading awareness and saying 'fuck your 'normal' we're different and that's okay! And good! And amazing!' Because, we all live such incredibly different lives, and that's an amazing thing to think about i feel. There's so many different types of people who feel different ways and who are so incredibly different and its spectacular! And i adore that about us! Even if a lot of us have simularities we could all have one thing in common but everything else can be different, which is why i think pride is about not just self love and acceptance but also love and acceptance of the community and friends in the community and celebrating differences and simularities and loving all of it, regardless of how poorly we're viewed necause of those differences, because we're proud and different and even though some cant accept us, thats okay to some degree, bc you cant force peoples views to change, but we can love and support eachother, and i think that that's what pride is about for me. Looking after eachother and supporting and loving our differences when others don't understand and are afraid, or hate that about us
For me trans pride is one manifested in the control over my identity. The feeling of being spotted as trans is a loss of control; conversely when I come out to somebody as already being trans and they're surprised it's incredibly reaffirming and retrenches my feeling of control over my identity.
Omg, I got so excited when you said this was the place to leave multiple paragraph comments, because that's me to a tee! So thank you for holding the space for this! I honestly really enjoy going to Pride because I live in the south with my parents (I'm in grad school, working part-time and have an internship and can't wait to be done so I can be on my own and not have to deal with my parents putting all their worries about my future on to me, being needlessly bossy and not appreciating all the chores I do for them, and I'll stop now because I could rant about this all damn night), and I don't get tons of opportunities to do queer stuff. I've started going to an LGBT group at an affirming campus ministry and that definitely helps, but being at Pride feels special because I get to see just how big of a community I'm actually a part of. All that being said, I do acknowledge its problematic aspects of having police presences, corporate sponsorships, etc. which I don't like. And I'm well aware how I don't have to worry about the police presence and such since I'm white, and the fact those things make Pride not welcoming to BIPOC LGBT folks is just awful. However, I do think a big reason Pride isn't for everyone (aside from the police and capitalism) is it seems to be geared toward loud and proud folks, and I'm all for people being loud and proud, but I would still like a space for the "quiet queers" as Hannah Gadsby calls them. I think creating that kind of space would be really helpful for more introverted LGBT folks and people who aren't into traditional Pride parades. Lastly, since I have come out as bisexual, I also learned I'm on the autism spectrum, and they have become the two big things that I feel pride about. I don't see them as separate because I think being neurodivergent means I think about attraction differently than neurotypical people. Also, I have learned there's a big correlation between being LGBT and being on the autism spectrum, which is so cool and I need more research done on that topic so I can read all of it. In addition, being on the autism spectrum has enabled my passion for learning about social justice, gender, sexuality, intersectional feminism and media representation, so my autism, bisexuality and passion for the above things feel very connected. It's awesome, and I feel lots of pride for it. :)
Pride for me is, as you said in the video, being able to see people living their truth and their live authentically. I consider teenage me who; didn't consider that I could be bi; even more that it was a part of me to celebrated and embraced, who even if I had - would have had to suppress that part of myself to survive - who desperately needed to see people like me who were out there, living authentically, and fully, and being able to know it was okay, and that living that sort of life was achievable... I can't say for certain, but I feel as though it would have meant everything to me. It could have allowed me to come to terms with myself sooner; and coming to terms with my sexuality was such a freeing, healing experience. Baby me needed that so badly. So if my pride, if having pride, could help even 1 kid who's in that kind of a situation, then I'd gladly wave that flag. That's what pride means for me.
Im a straight white male and i havent went to pride yet. Not in the sense that i would never go to pride/dont support it but in the sense i dont want to feel like im taking up space. I would only go to pride is if a friend who was in the LGBTQ+ community asked me to go with them for support. I feel like pride nowadays is a "thing to go to" instead of acceptence of differences but maybe im over-reacting. Should i go to pride anyway? Even if i might not be going with people who identify with the LGBTQ+ community? Much love from Toronto!
theonlywhiteop i think this is a good impulse for a straight white man to have. not saying that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go to pride but you’re spot on about so many straight people just going like it’s a fun party without any thought about what their presence there could do or mean.
Not everyone is walking around loud and proud and that’s alright. There is a culture that is perceived to be that if you’re LGBTQIA+ that you have to be out and proud. Not everyone feels comfortable with that and that’s alright.
I'm wary of Pride as its current marketability overshadows its origins and reach, I'd rather celebrate 'pride' in being unapologetic in my art + narratives and supporting the work of those in our community whose voices are drowned out by spectacle & celebrity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@KatBlaque You can check it out on the Wayback Machine if you remember your username. ;) Mine was....me bitching about my 1st husband, and getting out of my firsts marriage.
This was super impactful for me as someone who does attend pride events every year, but often feels out of place. I think we still have a long way to go in terms of being inclusive, not just of the trans community, but so many intersections such as disability, gender, and race. Mainstream pride events are still very white male centric. I think a lot of us walk around asking “Why isn’t this for me?” I certainly felt that way at capital pride this year, even in supposedly inclusive spaces. It’s upsetting considering that the LGBT movement has always been so diverse and driven by those that are most marginalized and ignored at pride.
My first pride was in my country of Trinidad and Tobago and honestly it was so powerful to march publicly in a society that apologetically homophobic with my head held high. The first sentence of your video summed it up basically, I march and wave my flag for the people that can't. Have you considered going to straight pride? :P But yeah, another great video...it's insightful to hear from your unique perspective.
That a really good question. Personally I believe pride means owning who you are in the safest and most comfortable way you can in the current space you're in. I really resonated with you relating your trans-ness with being black. If other people didn't bring it up how much would it affect me on the daily? Truthfully, I wouldn't think about it all that much (although this week I have been reminded and tried many times). And if I don't bring it up can I still be proud? I think you can. To me just like existing as any type of happy black women is being proud of being black, existing as any type of happy trans person is being proud of being trans as well. Personally I don't think the world is quite ready to move past seeing our shells and for a lot of folks their shell is a big deal. A large part of them being vocally proud of who they are is because those who don't pass don't really get the option to keep it to themselves so being proud is a way to turn around the negative attention and make it into something constructive. Thanks for another insightful video!
My $5 Patreon members now have access to (will most likely be) next week's video- My Problem with "Coming Out".
www.patreon.com/posts/27883863
For me, Pride is for anyone who is proud of who they are. It’s a safe space/community for “people on the spectrum”, as much as I would like to think.
I do personally relate to being gay. It’s the one label I do identify with. But Pride is always a moment or a celebration about the mosaïc of who we are and our pride, to be ourselves, and to love who we love.
But I do understand why someone would not identify with that and it’s okay. That’s my definition or the one I carry with me when I think about pride. It creates a sense of community for me where anyone is free to be themselves
So cheesy I know 🧀 LOL
❤️✨
Been following your content for years and years and years, and have just now started to support you on Patreon as I couldn't before. Hope it helps.
I'm always looking forward to your videos, and hope you'll keep posting for a long long time 😊
I've explicitly stated to other queer ppl that i see pride as anti-shame. It doesn't need to be verbalised or demonstrated. If you internally balk against the shaming society or any given individual heaps upon you, you're doing "pride" in the context of justice. That's really it. Everything else is just a choice of how to express that inner affect.
Thanks for supporting milkshakes against the nazisms
I think Pride is always a very subjective experience. I have always felt that Pride month is an annual celebration of the battles queer and trans people have overcome, to remember those we lost, and to energize ourselves forward. I feel like it's whole purpose is to allow us to live our lives as authentically and as naturally as we each see fit. It's all about being able to own who you are (and what you are if that's something that empowers you) and just not be ashamed. So if being stealth empowers someone to live their best life, all the power too them.
You’re absolutely right when you say it’s about celebrating our progress. Unfortunately, during Pride it seems that some people would rather not remember their own history (like the folks who thought it was a good idea to call the police on a trans black woman advocating for black trans lives at Stonewall on the 50TH anniversary of Stonewall).
@@idiosyncraticOfficial oh my gosh i hadn't even heard about that incident, i don't understand how or why people would be so toxic at a pride event! Especially on the stonewall anniversary! It's definitely true that a lot of younger gen def forget the true reason we celebrate gay pride (lgbtq+ pride) in the first place 😞 i was in providence celebrating on the 50th & it was a beautiful thing overall (always a *few* idiots at events in the city, but fuck them)
I completely agree, it pains me when people at pride don't understand what pride is truly about for the community, ESPECIALLY when we live in the information age & history is literally at our finger tips!!!- it can be very hard to not be frustrated with people who go to pride & don't have even a basic understanding of the movement's HISTORY. It's kind of funny, it almost makes me wonder, WELL if you don't appreciate the fight that went on over the last several decades then... yeah? why ARE you here? Lol
Pride means (to me), just mentioning my lesbianism in conversation without fear. It also means just casually shopping in the men's department without praying that the workers not notice me.
I read a Facebook comment of a trans woman who talked about her pride of being trans was because she made it to 53 and how she knew that this world would have took her life long ago if she didn’t pick and choose her battles by being open about being trans in certain spaces and being stealth in others.
pride for me is trying to love myself even when i don't pass, even on bad dysphoria days. pride is finding all the small things about being trans that i love so much. to try to ease the frustration i feel at not being seen as who i am. pride is knowing that i will still love and cherish this aspect of myself even when i pass, even if im stealth, because it has impacted me and my life significantly and not only in bad ways. even if in the future i am not loudly open about being trans, it will always be a facet of my identity and the experiences that have shaped me
What do you love about being trans?
...
I am just asking for a trans friend who severely hates herself and her transness.
I substitute teach and I feel like being such a D&D nerd who's gone to art school and dresses so gothy and strange (I get mistaken for a high school student a lot) really does help some of the artsy weird kids I meet, they all think I look cool. I laugh and tell them I hated school as an environment, I tell them it's so temporary just get through. I think seeing me look so gothy and eclectic, like my weirdness thrived after school makes them hopeful. Seeing that I'm confident in that whole strange vibe, that I can legit tell them basically high school is Petri dish for exacerbating insecurities and url "No body cares and if they do, they have the problem" that makes it so worth it. Seeing a kid draw something and asking "Is that for D&D?" Or "Is that My Hero Academia?" I see their faces, I know it helps them. I see myself in every nerdy art or science kid. It makes my day. It's a different pride but it makes it so valuable to be seen.
I normally scroll over and fix typos, etc but it's late and I finished my cab sav so I'm just going to hope what I type is coherent and sleep.
personally as a bisexual i had to make a conscious decision between suppressing my love for women in order to seem straight and be accepted or be free to love who i love and be happy. and when i started to get depressed i suddenly had the urge to come out or it would be the death of me. and when i came out i had bad reactions from my family that made me feel sad and ashamed. but recognizing that other people’s expectations shouldn’t dictate what made me a good person made me accept myself and i’m proud to have surpassed my internalized biphobia and to live regardless how other people would reject me from being bi. so my pride for me is like protecting myself. like a kind mother who says that you’re valid and to keep doing what you’re doing despite other not wanting you to. i hope it makes sense
I'm out to family and friends but don't push it further. I don't tell random acquaintances. Except in youtube comments apparently.
But I always go to pride.
Silky Wyrm i don’t think it makes sense to think about it as pushing it if it’s relevant to clarify in the context of the conversation. unless you don’t feel comfortable of course
@@jdprettynails if you like women you're fully bi! are people asexual until they date someone? no :> they are just who they are! personally i wasn't in a relationship with a woman when i decided to come out but idk i felt like involving my loved ones more into my life but that's totally your choice alone to make
@@jdprettynails yes exactly
Glad you’re loving these true tea videos. I am too. I’m drinking water
Thanks! You're perpetually the first commenter.
I think stealth trans women can still have pride, they're just not as open about it. Like, they can have internal pride for the journey they've been through and what they've accomplished in their transition. Just a thought.
I think that’s fair. You can feel things even if you aren’t public about those feelings. I can be proud of an accomplishment even if I’m not talking to everyone about it, so the same logic could reasonably apply to identity
@@batlesbian exactly
This year is my first pride, I'm so excited about this 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
@Mason Reed Well, Apparently 136 people do care
@karchsden it’s probably a joke. Look at the username
So, how was it =D ?
I know its random and not related to pride, but your dancing at the beginning of the video is so joyful and makes me smile and want to dance!
hehhe yay. :D Thank you!
I always felt pride is about visibility and to show that LGBTQIA+ people can thrive. That's why I'm so invested. It's been one of the few public representation in the community I'm in. I get to go and feel like at least some parts of me are normal or that I don't have to explain myself as much. It's the reason I watch your videos. I don't see LGBTQIA+ people often in my world other than a couple of friends and the internet otherwise. So I appreciate you being here and talking about the things you talk about. Thank you🤗
Shoutout to the cishet woman who got viscerally mad at me (a then 18 year old) for having never been to pride lmao. Idk I’ve just never felt the compulsion to do it you know? I’m proud of a lot of things, liking guys isn’t one of them
bonito flakes do you think you’ll go to pride again? Or was once enough for you?
Giiiiiiiiiiiiiirl those hair colors are awesome
Thanks!!!
I think pride is kinda what you said. It's just being here, openly existing, thriving and fighting against those who would erase/oppress us.
In Poland, there is no 'gay parade', it's called Equality Parade and it's about more than (at least in theory) just white cis gay men. And it's about more than just the LGBT community, it's a march for disability rights, it's a march for immigtants, it's a march for animal rights, for equal treatment of people of all genders (now including, imagine, non-binary people! not a girl-guy thing anymore, yay). So that looks good on paper and sounds amazing. Personally, just leaving the whole 'is Kat a proud trans woman in my opinion' thing, I'd go in the direction of a general idea of pride, its history and its relation to colonialism. The period of LGBT community being what we know today started at Stonewall riots. Stonewall riots are known by that name - Stonewall riots. Nobody I've ever heard talking about this event referred to it as anything else than what it was, and it was a direct response to colonial violence that Black, indigenous and other colonized communities have been facing since they've first came in contact with white people. You are a rebel. Those white people waving their colonial spoils in the faces of colonized people who've they robbed to get it have nothing to be proud of. That's my hot brew on this subject.
I absolutely love pride, i get the opportunity to 'dial up' the real me.
I always talk to some new & incredible people, they are practically strangers but I know I am safe around "My people" . There is the cultural heritage that I need to honour & respect by going to pride events. It really does feel like coming together as a community for the benefit & betterment of all of us.
Also, I attended pride for the first time this year. I think the initial disconnect came from the fact that I am an introvert, so the sheer amount of people was draining. But I think the deeper, more substantial disconnect was rooted in the fact that I was surrounded by people who were supposed to be "like" me, and I was supposed to feel a certain comfort from being around people with a mutual understanding, but somehow I still felt distant. I felt like an imposter, because my pride didn't function in the same way these people's pride seemed to. I had the opportunity to be as loud, proud, and queer as wanted to be, but when contrasted with the people attending pride, I didn't really have a lot of loudness, pride, or queerness in me. Perhaps this alienation was unconsciously perpetuated by me not integrating meself, and rooted in some kind of internalized queerphobia, but I really don't think it was.
Another interesting aspect of pride is the fact that I am very visible in the concrete, physical sense of being very tall. People who were immersed in a sea of expression, skin, color, and noise, yet somehow I still managed to filter through that and was noticed. A part of me had hoped that being in such a concentrated area of visibility, I would finally be able to go unnoticed. I suppose this was naive, but it takes some of the spirit out of pride when I spend the majority of the time concious of people staring at me (which is made more uncomfortable by the fact that drunk people don't seem to care if you catch them staring😂), being recruited by the police officers who are in attendance, and realizing that regardless of how vanilla I may be, there will always be parts of me that are too exotic to go unnoticed, even in spaces like pride.
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I pretty much have the same feeling of alienation at these pride events. I am quite sure there are two main reasons for my feeling. My irrational hatred of my own transness that translates to some form of implicit transphobia, where I am avoiding as much as possible any other trans person, because I am literally afraid of their transness and the way they are handling their trans related issues.
The second main reason is the need for speaking and taking part in conversations at these events. I have unfortunately this severe lack of confidence as soon as I have to use my voice. For the obvious reason that it is undermining my otherwise kind of passing appearance.
i know i never comment but i promise i’ve been watching your videos for years now!! i’m just shy 😳
anw you said “what does pride mean to you” after describing the whole stealth thing and i sorta wanted to answer that question as an arab muslim lesbian u feel
so i’m lucky to have open minded parents but i still don’t ever plan to “”come out”” to them. i never plan to have a girlfriend or a wife or anything like that. i’ve had people tell me i’m not a real lesbian or whatever but i sorta just shrug it off as them speaking for me which i’m totally not here for
but pride to me is less like “i’m going to let everyone know i’m part of the LGBT community!” with pride pins and all that and more like “i accept this part of myself and will do as i please with the fact” because like while yes i am a lesbian,,,like i’m also a lot of other things? if that makes sense
in high school i was super adamant on finding my identity and would get sad because i know i can’t come out to my parents and whatever but at some point i can’t to the realization like “what difference does it make to my like. lesbianism. if my parents know?” and sis! it changes nothing! i still like girls and the only difference would be an elephant in the room? i guess?
idk that’s my take on pride. i think it’s super empowering when people are “”loud and proud”” and i’m very happy when i do see people with pride pins and stuff (pushing aside the fact white gays assume i’m homophobic lmao 🙄) but the “loud” part isn’t for everyone
anyway that’s my take 😳 sorry if my comment got rambly 🤔
I've always felt that it's kinda strange being proud of something you can't control/ something you didn't achieve. Things like nationalism or the achievements of your ancestors fall into that category. How can you be proud of something you had no affect on? I think a lot of people don't approve of pride parades because they think people are just proud of their LGBT+ status, which they didn't personally achieve or anything. But actually the people in the parade are proud of realising what they are, coming out and fighting for equal rights/privileges. These things really are personal achievements, so it makes sense to be proud of them
but idk maybe I'm just crazy
I would say I'm proud of my own achievements and journey, but also I'm proud of the people who came before me and fought for me to be able to be who I want to be.
This, and I would add that I think there is this pressure for LGBT+ people to be quiet about it and never bring it up. Pride is refusing to do that. It's allowing yourself to take up the same amount of metaphorical space as your non-LGBT+ counterparts and not be sorry about it.
i really love what you did with your lips in the video. aooowww
Aw thank you. I hated it. ahhaa.
I love it too, you trippin Kat 😭
This video resonates so much with my experience. There is not a part of me that wants to go about my life disclosing to people that I am trans. Is it a harmful mindset to have? I dont think so, but many of my trans friends and people I meet online like to make me feel as though it is. I remember watching a live Q&A on Instagram and asking what the person's opinion on being stealth was. She replied with something along the lines of "I want to be visible so that future trans people can be, too." This reply made me feel a certain guilt, as though some how me not disclosing my transness is going to revert the progress we have made in fighting for trans rights. I see where she is coming from, as I benefitted from the increase in representation we have seen over the last decade, particularly the past 5 years. I guess where the disconnect comes for me is why does the responsibility fall upon individual trans people to be out and visible? I feel like there is something so radical and powerful about a trans woman defying the expectations put upon her actions and body, just as their is something powerful about a trans person wanting to disclose their transness despite being passing.
I live as a woman, and the way people treat me reflects that. In fact, living the way I do opens up different experiences that openly trans people dont have access to. I get a personal look at how cis people really feel about trans people, because when cis people talk about trans people with someone who they think is cis, the conversation often takes a very different turn. I have had conversations where people tell me about how trans people are just feminine boys who can't accept their femininity, or how it is just insane to undergo srs. I get access to these thoughts, and have the ability to interact with them in a way many trans people don't. Also, like you said in your "Why is Left Tube so White?" video, people are more likely to respect the thoughts and opinions of people who they perceive as being more like them, or who have been attributed as more worthy of respect by society as a whole, and thus I am able to provide knowledge and education that is more readily accepted. It's hard for me to want to relinquish this privilege, because unlike the way privilege usually functions, I dont see how this in particular harms other trans people. I think being cognizant of my privilege as a passing, heteronormative trans person is important, however, I don't think it needs to be relinquished in the same way other privileges do. I will say that I dont think it should be a goal or the ideal for a trans person to be stealth. I support all of my trans family, in fact I have what many people would consider radically progressive views about gender, so it's hard for me to feel like I am harming the trans community, or myself, because I personally dont connect with that part of myself. The trans community constantly preaches about acceptance, positivity, and growth. My lifestyle is simultaneously idealized and scrutinized. There are entire subreddits dedicated to passing, criticizing one anothers appearance, yet many of those people are the first to criticize those who dont actively engage with their transness. If a trans person could undo the fact that they gained popularity on social media by capitalizing on their transness give it back if they knew one day they would be passing? I can't speak foranyone, but a part of me tells me that those who tell me I need to accept my transness wouldnt be so proud of their's if they didn't experience the pain that comes with many trans narratives. A part of the reason I dont connect with my transness is because the narratives I've heard about trans people I don't resonate with me, and for me claiming an identity involves internalizing the experiences that tend to come with it.
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For me Pride is a protest. Celebrating all we've been through and remembering/honoring those we've lost. Id love love love to go to pride but sadly i live in a country where being lgbtq is illegal. I have hope that everyone in a similar situation will get to go to a pride parade someday. Idk i hope that doesnt sound silly, it's just something i hold out for. So really i see pride as a protest. A resistance and a celebration/memorial. And that's beautiful cuz we all are
This is a good question to explore.
Honestly for me Pride is just a festival where I can hang out and have fun with my friends, but that's only because most of my friends are already LGBT, so I have my own microcommunity within the community. Birds of a feather, I guess.
It's still super important to me, because I know that for some people, Pride can be a life saver, just like the lgbt community in general. I think it's really important to be visible and I do get that visceral feeling that you talked about, that need to give back to the community and help other trans people so they don't have to struggle as much.
Knowing that there are so many people who are going through the exact same thing can do wonders - when you see someone who's just like you, who is happy and has everything going well for them, it gives you hope that things will be okay for you too. It helps to finally have a role model that you relate to and really see yourself in.
I wish I could be that role model but I'm not sure I really have pride. I guess I've internalized too much transphobia. I have trouble seeing myself as a woman even now, after having started laser and HRT and now that I'm passing. Without transitioning, I just couldn't accept myself as a girl. I feel like I have to be "a full woman", whatever that means (probably bottom surgery) to be able to take myself seriously and for other people to take me seriously. I feel like cis women have something that I lack.
On the topic of passing and being a straight girl: I have some really complicated feelings about this. On the one hand, I really wish I were cis. I wanna be exactly like the other girls. On the other hand, this would basically mean that I'd have to go stealth. You see how this conflicts with my desire to help other trans people by being visible?
Another thing that bothers me is the fact that I'm straight. I find that I really relate to your transition (heh) from a radical teenage queer to a cis passing straight woman. I used to identify as a gay guy, and then as genderqueer and gay, but when I finally figured out my gender identity, I had this weirdly painful realization that I couldn't see myself as gay anymore. You see, I'm pretty young so I had all those queer role models growing up that I talked about before. I was looking forward to living my life as a gay man and being proud of who I was. So when I had to start identifying as straight, I wasn't exactly thrilled. I'd always felt that because I was gay, my future had kind of been stolen from me, but I slowly started envisioning what my life would be like because of all the wonderful visible people in the gay community that we have today. As the image of who I was going to be became clearer and clearer, my resentment for heteronormativity grew. I despised society for shunning queer people from the prospect of having a normal life, but simultaneously embraced the idea of "queer time" and the fact that I was never going to be like the straight people. Now I'm going through that exact same thing AGAIN, except this time I have to go back to the heteronormative, gender rolesy script that I've been rejecting for years? I mean, I'm not sure I even LIKE myself. I don't like who I'm transitioning into. 15 year old me would probably hate me. I went from being someone who's very non conforming and counterculture to literally the most gender conforming person ever who just wants to fit into cishet society. And that's because I don't really have a sense of self and I only care about passing, ultimately. The weird thing is, I've noticed that I'm starting to be attracted to women and non binary people too, but part of me is insecure about that and wondering if it's just because I wish I were gay, and I see being queer in some way as somehow better than just being straight. I kinda hate myself for having these feelings because I think I'm a huge hypocrite - i don't like it when people say they don't want to be gay or that they wish they were straight, but I'm doing the same thing in reverse. What if I just want to be interesting and special and being trans but passing isn't good enough so I have to be queer too?
so that's where I'm at right now.... just a big dysphoric ball of really conflicting thoughts and feelings of blending in and going against the norm. Sorry for the wall of text, but you did say True Tea was for essay-length comments 😅
I can't go to pride because I'm disabled and closeted. I wish I could.
I’m pan/bi and consider myself somewhere on the genderfluid side of the gender spectrum. But I present heterosexual and cis, at times. Sometimes I have super Becky hair and I’m dating a cis man. Other times I’ve got a pink mullet and I’m dating a woman. Or a non binary person. I’ve always griped with my pride because of my fluidity. Sometimes I struggle with the feeling that I haven’t earned it. Like when other people see me at pride events they might be glaring thinking I’m simply cis and heterosexual. So for me pride has really just become about taking my time and opening up an celebrating in the ways I need to. It’s also communicating to others around me, when I feel ready, that bisexuality/pansexuality and gender fluidity are real, aren’t phases, and that I don’t exist as either a lesbian or heterosexual when I’m in certain relationships. I think pride is a unique movement and I think we as a community will always have infighting about where other people need to stand on that spectrum, but I think we could all do a better job of respecting where people are in their pride journey and believing them when they tell us their truth. ☕️ sipping on some yogi peach tea
Oof this is a good question. But I do feel like... I don’t know if “generations” is the right word, because you’re 28 and I’m 25, however I realised I was trans at around 22? And started transitioning last year. So our ages aren’t that far apart, but I definitely understand the gap between what you read about and from trans women. My biggest influence on trans “culture” was tumblr (I know yikes, but also I am thankful bc I’m here and alive thanks to that) and as you can imagine, it’s all about being out and loud. But I do struggle a lot with the concept of being stealth, if I’m honest.
I’m super proud to be trans, I love talking and educating people around me to the best of my abilities, I love making people conscious about trans issues and history, the whole deal. But i certainly am *very* afraid about my day to day as a trans guy. Passing, being stealth, is my goal at the moment. I don’t want to be clocked. I don’t want to be afraid of existing for being who I am, I struggle with the idea of reconnecting with people from my past, of being recognised by old friends, etc because I have to come out over again, I have to expose myself and put myself in danger (this is linked to paranoia and anxiety mostly, but we know it’s not unfounded). In short I don’t like to bring attention to my own trans status.
But not because I’m not proud of being trans, I love going to pride and as I said, everything about having and making conversations about transgender issues and other lgbtqi+ matters, being trans is also a big part of my own identity due to the introspection journey I took before I figured it out.
So I do don’t think it’s a lack of pride, it’s more sort of an overcompensation of self preservation? There’s societal things that can’t be ignored, and we don’t owe anyone to put ourselves at risk in order to fit someone else’s definition of pride. Pride can be quiet and can manifest in many different ways. Some people take a lot of pride on existing while trans and only them knowing so. Some people take a lot of pride on taking a very visible stance on their transness.
I actually wonder what transition would have been like for me if I transitioned through conversations I had on Tumblr.
my xangas haunt me to this day, I probably have three or four of them out there that I probably can’t ever delete.
Unfortunately my experience with pride this year has been reading a lot of homophobia, bad takes, and unpleasant discourse. I think this is mostly because I don’t have the irl LGBT community that I really want and need yet. Also I’m very worn out by the rainbow capitalism, which I think has been amped up this year.
I know you get some people criticizing your "rambling" but I really appreciate your video style. It feels very genuine, like I'm having an organic conversation with you and I like it. 😊 thanks for doing what ya do! I have learned so much from you
Great video! This True Tea might as well be cabernet because the content is just that deep! This might be controversial, but honestly - as a man who is at least attracted to other men, but other than that is an enigma to himself - I've always been kind of confused by the whole "I was born this way" or "I never chose my identity" consensus, especially when it comes to sexuality. I mean, I get that it's politically expedient to paint sexuality as something beyond choice, and I know that for many people such statements are true, but it really doesn't speak to my experience, and I find many people can have adverse reactions to choice when it comes to labels and physical manifestations of identity. I mean, I know I have a true identity that transcends labels, but in my mind I and I alone choose the manifestation of that identity and how I express it. What if I "want" to be gay? Or what if I "want" to be bi? Straight? I'm not trying to advocate forcibly changing my true identity, but as I see it, my sexuality can be as trivial as clothing or as important as my name. Maybe being married to a woman but being exclusively attracted to men better expresses my identity than being married to a man? I don't know. This is all pretty speculative. I just think pride should include both true and expressed identity, even if it boils down to choice. Just as I would want pride for those who were born into an identity, I am proud of my assumed identity, because in my limited opinion, both forms are intended to represent truth.
When you talk of choice do you mean the innate passive sense of attraction or the identity and how this innate sense manifests in dailt life and self-understanding?
I don't know to what degree I chose my sexuality, but I would probably choose it again if I could. I think in a way I did choose to be trans, in part at least that was a choice that I had some agency in at one point in time. And I'm proud of that, but even more proud of what I overcame to be who I am.
Its basically not allowed to question the "born this way" narrative in the lgbtq+ community but there are people everywhere who don't feel it fits them, they just mostly keep quiet about it, for fear of hurting the community or being shouted down.
The basic fact is that people deserve to be able to have sex with who they want or to be the gender they want. They don't need an excuse! Trans rights and gay rights are human rights because we all deserve to do what we want as long as we're not hurting anybody else.
People will say that nobody would choose to be oppressed, but while we don't WANT oppression, people make choices all the time that lead to oppression. Don't we choose our religion or atheism, even if there are social consequences? Don't people actually die for their political, religious, beliefs, etc? Why would they do that if they could just choose to be a different religion or just join the less oppressed political group? Obviously there is more to human behavior than just choosing whatever is easiest.
Do we "choose" (as in, a conscious and willing choice) to have religious belief / faith, or be atheistic though ?
@Ame Oropeza I totally agree that it sounds odd, but I think identity in general is an odd subject that thrives through an expansion of our understanding. I think as long as expression of identity isn't tarnished by violent behavior directed at nonconsenting individuals (be that speach, action, whatever) it is very important that we explore what identity means. Our understanding of ourselves I would think exists prior to our understanding of language. That's why you have a lot of young homosexuals in the 20th century who cannot accurately express their "otherness" because they have no concept of homosexuality as a thing. I think that, having a language to describe our identity, we posess the ability to transcend these "labels" and become incredibly specific in the way we express ourselves, and doing so requires pride much like space exploration requires courage. However, it seems many in the community find this stance repellent or insulting. I would argue that many make such judgments because they are afraid of regression in regard to political and social acceptance and progress. But our forebears did not pave the way by appealing to the masses. Truly I think it's impossible to fully express identity, but knowing this I find liberating rather than limiting. It grants the opportunity to invent self rather than succumb to unexplored desire.
@@shiningdalek7185 Well a great deal of faith coincides with accepted Theology. For instance some Calvinists base their worldview in the concept of Total Human Depravity, which would suggest that any form of righteousness is impossible through human will, and that only by Grace can any salvation be achieved. Fully opposed to that stance would be the LDS tradition in which humanity only exists within the realm of agency. Christians, and especially American Christians, find the basis for Theology in both canonized scripture and personal experience, so I guess that would factor in as well. I would argue that Theological belief is completely up to the choice of the individual, however, especially seeing as how much scripture lays claim to Authority within its own text. This would be like if you believed I am God, and someone were to ask you "Why do you believe that?" And you reply "Well, he says he's God, so he must be." Many times Theology or canon is not recognized as a choice, because it is many times a reaction for or against societal norms and/or upbringing. This has always been a place of interest for me, because I've always seen faith as a tool, rather than a end in itself. Faith can be adopted as a means of achieving a certain mental state as well as being a mode of expression. I've always enjoyed Harold Bloom's concept of religion being applied poetry in that it involves the creation of a self through which a world view manifests.
you know what I love about your videos, or specifically your rambly videos, is that I feel like we sat down together and you trust specifically me and I am just listening and absorbing what you say. That may be a really surface level comment but I do selfishly think your videos make me a better listener. I love learning from you, I love hearing from a person who has strong opinions AND sees both sides; you have been all I've been watching the past couple of weeks. I appreciate your honesty and that you are willing to be wrong or for people to disagree with you. You are so confident and I really look up to you. I talk about your videos to my friends all the time and I really just wanted to let you know how impactful your videos are. Thank you for being honest and thank you for teaching me things I didn't know I needed to know about myself.
My xanga was a glorious seizure inducing collage of gif stamps and animated sprites. I miss it. I'm so happy you mentioned it though, most people seem to have forgotten xanga.
Pride to me is quite a personal and maybe relatively boring thing. Because I haven't come out to more than a couple people, I've not experienced hate from others in my life for being bi (hopefully never will), but while I was trying to figure out my sexuality I was constantly denying my own feelings and trying to twist them to be straight, in a way. So I guess pride to me is just being happy that I'm finally at a point where I can acknowledge and accept my own feelings for what they are rather than try to suppress them.
Great video kat :))
Your channel is one of the few channels that I would happily watch a 3 hour video from💜😂
Thank you
ALSO YOUR AVATAR IS SO CUTE. WE BARE BEARS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW OMG.
Kat Blaque Its THE BEST SHOW ever!! Thank you for everything you do on your channel Kat!
Love this conversation. For me, as a cis, white, gay man (who can pass for straight), I used to feel very detached from my sexuality being something to celebrate. Nowadays, for me, pride means (1) that I'm proud of those lgbtq+ people that paved the way for my rights, and (2) I'm proud of the personal adversity I've faced due to my orientation. I'm starting to embrace more of my inner femininity and submissiveness, and I'm feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I don't think this would have been possible without feeling pride for my gayness... Idk if I'm explaining it clearly, but I hope you get the gist! ❤
I've never been to Pride but honestly I think I'll only really be able to enjoy the concept of pride as an individual (maybe among close friends) since I generally feel pretty disconnected from the whole event. I'm introverted, I'm autistic; there's a whole list of reasons why I wouldn't feel comfortable in that kind of crowd. The idea of marching in a parade and waving a flag around just doesn't suit me, but I don't think that means I don't have pride. I'm just not sure how to express it when the 'designated' event to do that isn't really for me.
I was excited to experience Pride a few years ago when I first came out but now it almost leaves a sour taste in my mouth because from my perspective, it just looks like a party I can't access. My cis straight sister and her matching friends went to Pride just to have a good time and get drunk at a gay bar, and I was left behind. This just left me feeling that pride is never going to be what I want it to be, especially since so many corporations have latched onto it. So I dunno where that leaves me this month.
I'm an asexual illustrator and to me, pride is about claiming validation, and about sharing the different experiences so more people feel normal and validated. I received a couple of messages thanking me for saying I was asexual because they were too and they appreciated to see an artist they liked being ace. Also I helped a friend who felt lost to realize he was ace too. It felt beautiful to see more people feel validated thanks to the pride and to sharing experience, the same way I felt wrong but then discovered an ace pride page and realized I was ace thanks to it.
Btw I love your videos, you are amazing!
RUclips summoned several of your older videos. I'm both impressed and pleased that you were super articulate as well as adorable, but also you have matured and become even more of a fine speaker since those times :D It's really cool seeing a progression of an already awesome person into an even more awesome person, and I love that you support Pride even if it isn't something that does a ton for you personally
Gosh, I just got my first t shot and watching your channel while wolfing down food late at night is the best feeling ever rn
OMG CONGRATS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so freaking excited for you! :D
I'm proud to be a trans woman. I don't discuss it all the time, but I'm generally "out", and have been out for years now among my social circles.
I've never actually gone to a pride event of any kind, though. Maybe I might like to go someday... but I'm straight, and also present myself in a fairly standard feminine way. I'd still like to give it a shot, but part of me worries that I might feel a bit out of place? I dunno.
I’ve ~*also*~ had very very complicated feelings about pride. And woman! if one could see my livejournals 🤢. Anyway as a transwom who once ID’d as a gay boy (frfr used to say my gender was a certain f word until I learned of the community of men who “serve” in that identity) I used to try to participate as any gay boy would. And those Pride moments reignited the suspicion that I was *not*, in fact, a gay boy. Ignoring the anti-Blackness incubated in the larger lGbt community (i’ll try), the way I saw myself reflected in the gaze of so many (men tbc) I was less and less shocked to find that what I consciously radiated was not understood by those around me...but what I was was maybe seen and known-a messy straight black girl with a hard-on for personal space.
I live somewhere very conservative. As much as I wish pride was something I can do, I would honestly settle for owning a pride flag. I can get in trouble for hanging one anywhere and I can’t buy one
Before any of yall take my comment and run with it it’s deeply personal and not a judgement on pride in any way
z bowyer that’s really awesome!! I am glad that you made that step for yourself
For me it’s a bit scarier because displaying it in public can get me arrested (yeah its one of those places...)
Maybe it’s because I’ve been raised in a black household where it’s always been emphasized to not tell anyone our business, but I always get annoyed when someone (regardless of gender) tells you that you have to share something that’s personal to you (gender identity in your case Kat) when you didn’t ask for their input lol
I’m a cis straight passing bisexual (pansexual? Idk I just don’t care about someone’s gender identity/sexual orientation in an attraction sense, if I like you I like you) in a relationship with a cishet dude, so I’m generally unbothered regarding personal traumatic experiences with my sexual orientation. I am extremely privileged in this sense, and have no idea (beyond what I’ve read and heard from trans people) what it’s like to be trans. I understand how you sometimes feel in queer spaces due to your experiences, and wish everyone would let people move and express themselves at their own pace yknow? It’s ludicrous to assert that you Kat are ashamed of your trans identity because you don’t bring it up In every circumstance.
On the other hand though, my parents are queer and I learned from an early age not to associate queerness with otherness. Between being from Atlanta and my upbringing, Pride was a regular event and queerness was generally celebrated (once again, a huge privilege). I feel for all LGBTQIA+ people who struggle in their experience, I just worry about others such as yourself being pushed to present your experiences in a narrative that doesn’t necessarily reflect your reality or consider your feelings.
Whew chile long comment, great video as always!!!
“I have a consciousness that is independent of my body”
Oh so we’re going DEEP deep huh?
Can you do a video on LGBT representation in media? I'm graduating with a degree in Digital Media with an emphasis in film and I want to create work that is inclusive, but naturally, being an cis straight girl despite my intentions, I am bound to make mistakes when trying to write or include people who have different stories from mine.... And I live in a place where there isn't a lot of out LGBT people, so a "PSA Don't do this shit when representing LGBT/ polyamorous people" video would be a maybe cool video. I know you can't speak for everyone, but your opinon would be interesting. I don't want to reinforce bad stereotypes or tropes like the "bury your gays" stuff, but I am sure they are more things that are annoying that are inherently less obvious to people who are not apart of that community. Can you spill the tea on bad representation and what makes good representation?
^^^^
As a bisexual person who cares about media representation, I really appreciate your caring and thoughtfulness! I can definitely recommend some RUclipsrs and media sites that talk about LGBT representation: Marina Wantanabe (MarinaShutUp, though she hasn't been making videos lately because she now works at Bitch magazine, but she does have tons of videos on this subject), Riley Jay Dennis (her video essay on Supergirl comes to mind as example of her talking about bad representation, and her video on Netflix's reboot of One Day at a Time is a good example of her talking about good representation), Leon Thomas (Renegade Cut, he does film and politics, and he's straight, but he's a great ally) Annie Segarra (Annie Elainey, they talk about sexuality, gender and disability, and they have some videos on disability and sexuality media representation, an intersection that's not talked about much) and Paige and Sarah (The Princess and the Scrivener- they look media representation analysis for race, gender, sexuality and disability). Hope this helps!
Look up Rowan Ellis and Sarah Z. They both have very informative videos about this!
@@MyNontraditionalLife This is my fear.... Representation is a very nuanced things, and while I understand what makes good representation for a Black woman, and I can see obvious red flags with LGBT and other minorities, it tends to get dicey when it comes to the little things that eventually add up in creating a problem... It's why a lot of filmmakers I know just won't even bother trying to represent other minorities because it is too complicated to catch everything. I don't want to do that either because while I understand that thinking, thats also not right.
@@kelseysanchez3697 👀 ruclips.net/video/riKVQjZK1z8/видео.html
I adore you!! You better clock your accomplishments 🙌🏽
I had to let it be known that I know. lol
Thank you!
I feel seen! Now I don’t feel bad about my paragraphs 😭 I won’t bog you down this time tho 🙂
Thank you for another insightful video, Kat! I think there's a noticeable relationship between experiences of oppression/discrimination and the need to vocalize some form of Pride. What I'm seeing is that trans people who pass, such as yourself, experience less discrimination and therefore experience less of a need to express their *personal* Pride. What you're expressing now is more of like an empathetic pride, perhaps. You don't need a Pride march to know your gender and your experiences are real and valid; what you're doing is being visible for the next round of trans kids who need someone to look up to. It's like a different flavor of Pride, but it's still Pride!
I just want you to know that you inspire me. I'm going to be a journalist, i'm good at writing but not so good at speaking and communicating what i'm thinking right in the spot. You inspire me to comunicate better and say what i have in my mind. 💕
Your perspectives are so interesting and thought-provoking. Real glad I subscribed!
This is pretty much exactly how I feel about being bisexual. I'm a woman now married to a man. So I'm not dating, and I'm straight passing. It's just not relevant for me to tell people I'm bisexual. So, most of the time, I don't go through the struggles most LGBT+ people do. If I go to an LGBT+ space, I feel like an impostor or even an invader. Sometimes I feel like I should be "out" more, but my old friends and family generally know. If a new friend says something ignorant, I might come out to them to show bi people are out there and add more authority to my argument. If I fill in a form asking about demographics, I tick the bisexual box. If there's anti-lgbt legislation, I'll argue against it on social media etc. But that's pretty much the extent of my advocacy. I haven't even been to any pride events the last few years. Should I be doing more? I don't know.
Pride makes me feel... sad. When I've gone as a single woman it's been fun, but when I go with a boy it's hard. Because its assumed that I'm straight. Because you can't have a boy and a girl in a relationship if they both aren't straight. Right? But also pride is... loud. I get headaches if there is too much noise, light, ext. I hate being touched. I feel like lgbt spaces aren't safe for me because lgbt isnt the only thing I am.
Pride in my area (one which is extremely liberal) has been absolutely taken over by ~zesty straights~ who use it as an excuse to wear fetish gear in public that pushes right up against public indecency/exposure laws in areas downtown that are *literally* right next to elementary schools that do run childcare services during the summer. I was way more into it when I lived in the South (read: somewhere conservative af) and having Pride was a brave and actually useful/radical political action. Here, it's just squick inducing.
Oh, I'm bisexual, by the way.
Your channel is so educational & informative!
I remember Xanga!!! 😂😂😂
Living one's truth is PRIDE! Being smart enough to live every day is also pride! Compromising your life for others comfort regardless of orientation really fails to put the responsibility of oppression and abuse on toxic heteronormative majority where it COMES FROM. We really need to get our heads right about this.
Pride to me means knowing I don't have to change anything about myself for someone else, but I can change anything about myself for me. And no matter who/what I am or become, that also won't make me any better than those I didn't change for. I think pride is stronger with a dash of humility. 💜
So I found your channel about three weeks ago, and I really enjoy your content. I bought “My Best Friend is a Monster” for my 8 year old daughter and she loves it!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much! This made my freaking day. :D
This video really did help put some word to what I've always felt about pride. Coming from a Hispanic family, I've always had a weird relationship with being bi and my gender due to a lot of cultural things (machismo, first son, Catholicism, etc.) and never came out to my family. This is then compounded by being in a relationship with a woman, so even being open in college it gets erased. My understanding of pride started to form when I realized how much I presented an image of what people wanted to see me as rather than who I am, and slowly trying to reclaim my identity and self and take pride in who I am. So pride has become in my mind a way to push back to the pressure others have projected on me.
edit: Completely forgot to mention how much I have loved this series, I'm a new viewer but these videos hit a perfect spot for a long format conversational tone that feels comfortable to engage and comment. These videos are the first times I've felt like leaving youtube comments on videos from everything they get me thinking about. Love the series and can't wait for more!
watching this whilst drinking my tea, love u so much kat!!! 🏳️🌈
I’ve just started watching ur videos and must say u r very beautiful Kat! I lovv lovv ur hair! This is about the third vid I’ve watched, the topics r great and so well spoken. Also love true tea and the more rambly vids cause it rly feels interactive. Hopefully next time I’ll have some wine to drink w u hahah :^) jus wired on coffee
I often feel bad for not feeling great about pride. Like I'm doing something wrong - I should be loud, proud, sexually open (in whatever shape that should take) but these aren't things I feel and I don't know if they're things I want to feel. And I feel guilty for not feeling them, not feeling connected or part of a 'we' or a community.
That colour top really suits your skin tone.
Really cute!
The intro by itself just made me smile!
Watching Kat makes my day 20% better automatically. She's always so open and smiling, I could watch her even if she was selling me a time share property. However, I especially liked this episode. IF YOU READ THIS HI KAT.
i have been trans & open about it before i knew about the closet & transphobia. so pride to me is like "i told you so" & dealing with idiots. it's basically pride in having knowledge. it's also a sense of fighting idiots & haters. i like passing (currently i come across as a femme whatever, artsy basically) but i don't trust people to fully accept us & having basically been at war for 2 decades it's shellshock. so pride is like pilgrimage & getting support (dear God, I'm about to cry). but yes, omg the advice-giving thing is very much part of my life
The time I went to a pride fest and parade, I just felt out of place(even as a gay man), because I'm quite introverted. And honestly, as the guy who made friends in high school by simply sitting with particular lunch tables and currently not really having anyone I would call a friend, I find it difficult to talk to new people because I see that they already have a group or that I think they would rather be left alone.
Being gay wasn't something I completely came to terms with until I was a senior in high school. Because I have this fear of how people may react to me coming out and a feeling that I don't need to tell everyone I see that I'm gay. Case in point, my boss for my job doesn't know that I am gay, because I don't see why it would be necessary to tell her. And normally the way I come out to people is when they say something heteronormative at me, like "isn't that girl hot", and I just say something like "I find guys attractive" if I say anything at all.
Because of how I was raised and an incident in middle school where the most popular guy in school drew a bad picture of a dick and wrote "William sucks dick" on it, I just feel at least a bit scared that someone would pound me in the face if they knew. The irony is that is when I finally realized that I was into men because I looked up "man sucks dick" and gay porn came up.
So, in general, I'm scared to flirt with men where there are a lot of gays guys, because of my introversion, and I'm scared to do so when that isn't known about them because I don't want to get physically hurt.
Great video Kat! :) I think I'm in a similar place to you. I "pass" completely and while all my close friends know I'm trans, new people I meet and random strangers can't tell that I am just by looking at me. I generally don't tell them, because there's usually no reason to bring it up. If I did talk about it, I'd also have to be prepared to have that trans 101 conversation and it's exhausting to do that over and over again. I had enough of those talks early on in my transition when I didn't have much of a choice because my transness was obvious.
But does it make me less proud if I don't talk about it with everyone I meet? I don't think so. For me it's something I do more out of self care than anything else. And in contexts where trans stuff comes up, I do out myself if I think it will add something to the conversation, as long as I feel safe enough to do so in that particular enviroment.
But I do like Pride. Where I live, it's tiny but generally very welcoming. But then I'm also bi so that may affect how I feel about taking part in it.
pride to me is an inner contentment and peace. like, it's one thing to be told "there's nothing wrong with being the way you are", and maybe you understand that's true on an intellectual level, but it's a completely different thing to truly believe it, and find it in you to accept yourself fully, especially if you're living in an environment that is actively hostile to what you know in your heart that you are. to me, who's most definitely an introvert, broadcasting my pride isn't necessary; it's optional and situational, something one should navigate after one's own comfort. i guess an extrovert might get more out of that kind of thing than i ever could. i firmly believe pride month and the marches are a really positive thing though, in the sense that it sends a message to young and/or closeted lgbt+ folks who might feel lonely, isolated, or who might struggle with self acceptance. it's a yearly reminder to anyone who's listening that we're out here, and all one has to do is reach out to find acceptance. it's a beautiful thing to me, even if i don't personally elect to talk openly about my private life with random strangers solely to make a point about how comfortable i am with myself. did i answer the question adequately? i hope so lol
How many glasses 🍷 have we had ma’am 😂🤭💜
LOL. I had a sip of wine before I started filming. I was just super hype after a man took up like 3 days of my time. lol.
I'm bisexual and have been going to pride for 5 years but still don't connect with it. I think I'm still ways off dismantling all my internalised biphobia and shame but I keep going because even though I myself don't feel at ease and prideful in my sexuality it is great to see others who are and I have hope that being around them will help me be more comfortable with myself.
I'd say not feeling shame in the context of LGBT+ matters IS pride - whether it's neutral like yourself or full-on surrounding yourself in LGBT+ culture. You do not let family, colleagues or society make you feel shame for something that still for the most part is not yet fully accepted. Feeling proud and ok about who you are when the world says you shouldn't, that's really powerful and internally freeing.
I think it's great that you have moved through shame and become so comfortable with your trans-ness that it's a non-issue. I also hope we get to a place where it's no big deal to begin with.
Hi, Blaque! So Smart, My Lady!
Rossi Posse? Nah. You should be part of the sisterhood of the traveling Franzia.
Great video! I am not a person who typically likes the genre(?) of 'individual talks about their life and stuff' but there's a lot of really complex issues that get talked about here. I always come out of watching one of your videos having totally different feelings about something. I also find these videos helpful in recognizing where im at in life and how I navigate the world. So im glad to hear you like them and it's helping you so much 💜
I also think pride is about living your life the best you can, also being or attempting to be at peace with where you are in your journy I think is a major part and remembering what we're fighting for and remembering those who have paved the way and fighting for a better tomorrow. I personally have never been to pride because I do not do well in crowds or in the summer heat and I also find corporate and police involvement to be a deterrent to me feeling comfy (I think there were some marches that are free of all that?). I also don't tell tons of people that im trans but if you seem to be a part of my life it's gonna come up since I'm nonbinary and use they/them pronouns. The whole being trans thing isn't really a big deal to me (aside from me caring about trans issues, and I'll always talk about em when they come up (this is another time I might tell someone I'm trans)) like I poke myself once a week, I go to the doc every few months and I pass as not my assigned gender at birth so i'm mostly good and there's no reason to talk about it. I don't feel shameful about being trans unless I've encountered a rare transphobe irl... I really take in a lot of what people dish me out. It's not hard to make me feel shameful thanks cptsd
I identified as a trans man because I thought it was better for me to be stealth. I was trying so hard to be a good trans man especially since I'm Afro-Puerto Rican. Realizing that I'm actually agender has been kinda hard on me though I feel a bit more peaceful now because of it. Me being trans, being agender, shouldn't be a political statement but yet people make it that way and though it's annoying, I do realize that I don't want to live stealth because I actually don't mind people knowing I'm trans. I'm proud of it tbh. When I went to my first pride, I felt so welcomed, I felt home. I felt like I could actually be me for once and not hide in front of everyone. Even though I hate that my existence is inherently political (because I too am a boring person) I wouldn't change anything about my identity because I take pride in it
I am an ex-Mormon and when most exmos leave the church, they have this urge to constantly be talking about the information they were previously withheld by the church because that's what they wish someone had done for them when they were in the church. This is not usually well-received, because Mormons are primed to see criticism of religion as criticism of themselves, but I do still think there's value in it. I went through this process too, and I still feel this way from time to time, but mostly, I just feel tired. I don't want to talk about it anymore, not because I am ashamed, but because I'm tired of having to defend myself or my position.
I think with LGBT+ identities, it can be similar. As a queer person, "staying out of the closet" is something I was not prepared for. It feels like I could blink and find myself back in the closet because so much of being out is coming out to every new person you meet, most of which will think you're obnoxious if you bring it up too early but dishonest if you bring it up too late. It's like having the same conversation over and over again, and it often devolves into trying to justify or defend my sexuality, which is exhausting and takes a toll on my mental health. I constantly feel like I'm taking a stance on LGBT+ issues just by existing, and by doing so inviting conversations that I don't want to have.
I don't know if it's the same for trans people or even other gays, but this is my experience. While I think it's important to be visible to those who are not safe to be, I think it's important to balance that with your own health and safety, and that balance might look different to different people.
Ideally, I think when ( and if😬) things get better, pride will become less of a celebration and more a day of remembrance for those who fought for our rights. That's not to say it won't still be celebratory but we won't have to focus so much on visibility, and can instead focus on gratitude.
Drinking brown rice green tea while I just sift through spreadsheets at work, your rambles are super soothing and informative. Your unapologeticness is refreshing! I haven’t attended a pride yet but for me it feels almost gimmicky and it makes me uncomfortable to attend. I’ve been learning in therapy to embrace my vulnerability but that a difficult to do in a situation like pride where everything is looked at through rose coloured glasses. Unfortunately when you have people at pride that are showcasing their problems on placards and aren’t super smiley and dancey, those are the folk that are so vulnerable and also at risk from counter protesters
I'm just so grateful that you said these important and thoughtful things.
Pride to me is definitely when people who are put down by a majority are proud and happy to be who they are! And it makes me so happy and proud to help others in the community! I think its also a form of spreading awareness and saying 'fuck your 'normal' we're different and that's okay! And good! And amazing!'
Because, we all live such incredibly different lives, and that's an amazing thing to think about i feel. There's so many different types of people who feel different ways and who are so incredibly different and its spectacular! And i adore that about us! Even if a lot of us have simularities we could all have one thing in common but everything else can be different, which is why i think pride is about not just self love and acceptance but also love and acceptance of the community and friends in the community and celebrating differences and simularities and loving all of it, regardless of how poorly we're viewed necause of those differences, because we're proud and different and even though some cant accept us, thats okay to some degree, bc you cant force peoples views to change, but we can love and support eachother, and i think that that's what pride is about for me. Looking after eachother and supporting and loving our differences when others don't understand and are afraid, or hate that about us
For me trans pride is one manifested in the control over my identity. The feeling of being spotted as trans is a loss of control; conversely when I come out to somebody as already being trans and they're surprised it's incredibly reaffirming and retrenches my feeling of control over my identity.
Kat, u are just so phenomenally CEREBRAL...I love it! 😍😍😍
Omg, I got so excited when you said this was the place to leave multiple paragraph comments, because that's me to a tee! So thank you for holding the space for this! I honestly really enjoy going to Pride because I live in the south with my parents (I'm in grad school, working part-time and have an internship and can't wait to be done so I can be on my own and not have to deal with my parents putting all their worries about my future on to me, being needlessly bossy and not appreciating all the chores I do for them, and I'll stop now because I could rant about this all damn night), and I don't get tons of opportunities to do queer stuff. I've started going to an LGBT group at an affirming campus ministry and that definitely helps, but being at Pride feels special because I get to see just how big of a community I'm actually a part of. All that being said, I do acknowledge its problematic aspects of having police presences, corporate sponsorships, etc. which I don't like. And I'm well aware how I don't have to worry about the police presence and such since I'm white, and the fact those things make Pride not welcoming to BIPOC LGBT folks is just awful.
However, I do think a big reason Pride isn't for everyone (aside from the police and capitalism) is it seems to be geared toward loud and proud folks, and I'm all for people being loud and proud, but I would still like a space for the "quiet queers" as Hannah Gadsby calls them. I think creating that kind of space would be really helpful for more introverted LGBT folks and people who aren't into traditional Pride parades.
Lastly, since I have come out as bisexual, I also learned I'm on the autism spectrum, and they have become the two big things that I feel pride about. I don't see them as separate because I think being neurodivergent means I think about attraction differently than neurotypical people. Also, I have learned there's a big correlation between being LGBT and being on the autism spectrum, which is so cool and I need more research done on that topic so I can read all of it. In addition, being on the autism spectrum has enabled my passion for learning about social justice, gender, sexuality, intersectional feminism and media representation, so my autism, bisexuality and passion for the above things feel very connected. It's awesome, and I feel lots of pride for it. :)
Pride for me means to just celebrate and embrace my true self. A part that I was insecure of but now love.
Loved the video! Who's the artist/album art in the background?
I was a xanga girl! Hell yeah!
I even had an angelfire page! Dinosaur here! 🤣🤣
hahah. oh my god angelfire. lol. We are so old.
i used Tripod and then Xanga
OH MY FUCKING GOD, TRIPOD. D:
@@KatBlaque I haven't thought about tripod in AGES
Pride for me is, as you said in the video, being able to see people living their truth and their live authentically. I consider teenage me who; didn't consider that I could be bi; even more that it was a part of me to celebrated and embraced, who even if I had - would have had to suppress that part of myself to survive - who desperately needed to see people like me who were out there, living authentically, and fully, and being able to know it was okay, and that living that sort of life was achievable... I can't say for certain, but I feel as though it would have meant everything to me. It could have allowed me to come to terms with myself sooner; and coming to terms with my sexuality was such a freeing, healing experience. Baby me needed that so badly.
So if my pride, if having pride, could help even 1 kid who's in that kind of a situation, then I'd gladly wave that flag. That's what pride means for me.
Im a straight white male and i havent went to pride yet. Not in the sense that i would never go to pride/dont support it but in the sense i dont want to feel like im taking up space. I would only go to pride is if a friend who was in the LGBTQ+ community asked me to go with them for support. I feel like pride nowadays is a "thing to go to" instead of acceptence of differences but maybe im over-reacting. Should i go to pride anyway? Even if i might not be going with people who identify with the LGBTQ+ community? Much love from Toronto!
theonlywhiteop i think this is a good impulse for a straight white man to have. not saying that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go to pride but you’re spot on about so many straight people just going like it’s a fun party without any thought about what their presence there could do or mean.
Not everyone is walking around loud and proud and that’s alright. There is a culture that is perceived to be that if you’re LGBTQIA+ that you have to be out and proud. Not everyone feels comfortable with that and that’s alright.
Giving you all the props for your tea and because you had a Xanga too! Love your channel! :3
That hair toss behind the shoulder at almost exactly the midpoint of the video ended me. Poetic cinema.
“Because I’m classy and more rich than you” 😂😂 I felt that sis
I'm wary of Pride as its current marketability overshadows its origins and reach, I'd rather celebrate 'pride' in being unapologetic in my art + narratives and supporting the work of those in our community whose voices are drowned out by spectacle & celebrity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Kat Blaque is aggressively cheerful in this video and i love it
I don't know why I was in such a good mood that day honestly but I really was. hahaha.
Thank you for the continued great content :) ♥️ always thought provoking and fun, keep it up! ♥️♥️
Oh, I MISS Xanga! A friend on facebook that I met on Xanga made a group for those of us who miss it.
Ugh, I wonder what my xanga even says.
@@KatBlaque You can check it out on the Wayback Machine if you remember your username. ;) Mine was....me bitching about my 1st husband, and getting out of my firsts marriage.
I had two or three Xangas and was the one who sat down and made and formatted my friends' Xangas
This was super impactful for me as someone who does attend pride events every year, but often feels out of place. I think we still have a long way to go in terms of being inclusive, not just of the trans community, but so many intersections such as disability, gender, and race. Mainstream pride events are still very white male centric. I think a lot of us walk around asking “Why isn’t this for me?” I certainly felt that way at capital pride this year, even in supposedly inclusive spaces. It’s upsetting considering that the LGBT movement has always been so diverse and driven by those that are most marginalized and ignored at pride.
My first pride was in my country of Trinidad and Tobago and honestly it was so powerful to march publicly in a society that apologetically homophobic with my head held high. The first sentence of your video summed it up basically, I march and wave my flag for the people that can't. Have you considered going to straight pride? :P But yeah, another great video...it's insightful to hear from your unique perspective.
LOL. Straight people dont' need pride. lol.
That a really good question. Personally I believe pride means owning who you are in the safest and most comfortable way you can in the current space you're in. I really resonated with you relating your trans-ness with being black. If other people didn't bring it up how much would it affect me on the daily? Truthfully, I wouldn't think about it all that much (although this week I have been reminded and tried many times). And if I don't bring it up can I still be proud? I think you can. To me just like existing as any type of happy black women is being proud of being black, existing as any type of happy trans person is being proud of being trans as well. Personally I don't think the world is quite ready to move past seeing our shells and for a lot of folks their shell is a big deal. A large part of them being vocally proud of who they are is because those who don't pass don't really get the option to keep it to themselves so being proud is a way to turn around the negative attention and make it into something constructive. Thanks for another insightful video!