You need to have Jon Kim "The Angry Therapist" on here if you haven't heard many people talking about preparing themselves to be the man they want to be before getting married. There's also a book called "Keeping the Love you Find" that points out the essential time period of being single to discover yourself before becoming committed for life.
The flaw with all this is, when you have no commitment you have no commitment. You cannot grow with another person without commitment. If you aren't ready to commit to a relationship, stay friends. If you always have an easy way out, you'll always have at least one eye on the door.
Polyamory has nothing to do with non commitment but for me I would find it too confusing. More people, more confusion and more distraction. I think it would take a seriously strong and confident person to manage it and when I considered it in my head I do think my motives were to avoid being abandoned or let down by one person so I realised I was curious for all the wrong reasons
Fucking around and calling it a relationship is like having tons of one night stands and calling it love. “Getting to experience lots of people” is potentially an advantage of being single and dating, not being in a relationship. Calling such a situation “sacred” is just nonsense. Humans don’t want to share their mates.
You know what else is hard? Putting your hand into a wood chipper. Doesn’t mean it’s right or healthy or good for you in any way. You know what’s even harder? Saving yourself for your eventual spouse and spending the rest of your life devoted to that person. Polyamory is a way out for a generation of disaffected people who have no religious foundation and have been screwed by the system, and they don’t realize polyamory will just make everything worse, and make it that much harder to be happy in the long term.
I'm not even religious and it's hard for me to disagree. After all this sexual revolution what almost everyone found out is that commited monogamous relationship is where happiness and meaning is. Sometimes it doesn't work out of course, but to commit yourself to not commitment is just pointless.
Agreed, except for the religious-thing. Lots of religious ppl cheat. Religion can even support non-monogamy (Mormons, hello?) Religion isn't the answer to being faithful or monogamous.
Your so wrong, if everyone embraced it (not that they would), there would be almost no STD's, dating today nobody knows whos with who, whreas open relationshpis theres honset comunication im seeing 1 or 2 peoploel on the side theres condoms and regular sti tests. Also cheating would completly dissapear and the lying related to that, or mens emotional guilt for wanting to cheat or cheating,Divorce rates would go down as cheating is one of the main reason for diivroce, and you can maintain womens rights wthiout having to control them with a partriachy like parts of the middle east and africa right now or america in 1950's or victorian england. Of course 30% of people nuder 30 cuuldnt do thsi because of jelousy or 50% of people over that age because of jelousy but a lot of people can, and the world would be a better place for the first 5 reasons i mentioned
@@professormeow7432 Sounds funny but its logically true and rationally sound.again people who are high on the jelousy scale shouldnt do it, if your a man with healthy testosterone levels low jelousy under age of 60 it works, humans are pair bonding creatures that desire variety on the side especially men but are not life long monogomous no eveolutionary biologist says that
Wow funny. I remember watching his videos about non monogamy and being like …. Yeaaaaaaahhhhhh ok… and here is monogamous again. It’s true, we all have our journey, but that’s what’s so annoying about people promoting non monog. Or act like it’s better or more natural to be non monog. Most people are not non monog their whole lives, we all reach a point where we need just one companion (or none). And it’s not easy to have multiple partners. I’ve watched many friends go through so much emotional turmoil because they tried it. Ruined meaningful relationships because they were enticed by the idea of it. PERSONALLY, I find it hard enough giving my energy, love, and time to one person. No way could I have multiple partners. And sex is not that important. That’s why it’s annoying how so many in the fake hippie community are poly and shit.. they think it’s more evolved. Because you think you need to have sex with as many people as you want? That’s not evolved. Sex is just a distraction from many things. It’s a temptation of the earthly realms. Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it and make it spiritual, but if you need to fuck lots of different people all the time - that’s some personal ego shit you gotta work through. That’s not evolved. One person for me… or none at all. I’m 23, been in one LTR, had a hard time being committed, so I decided I’m riding solo until I’m more mature and interested in putting in the hard work commitment requires.
Why? Why not being “single” and honest with yourself and just go around few times if that is what you desire! This polyamory is a confused state of a “relationship” demeaning the essence of what a committed relationship is about or a marriage! What is the point? To tame your daemons ? This is nonsensical.
It's not all about the sex. Not poly unless they're using it as a cover to not be faithful. And that absolutely happens. But some really do love more than 1at a time. It isn't just sex. When it is just about sex, I personally can't consider it poly. It's more about ENM/ swinger, FWB. Poly is about love. Sex usually accompanies it. Sex is important for some. Me. I'm not poly. Ever. But I have a high libido and sex is a very intrical part in how I show love for husband to and with him. He's not poly either. But we definitely make sex a priority. I'll admit that one spouse bis MORE than enough. Lol. I don't have time, patience, energy, or desire to deal with the drama and chaos.. all that comes with multiple partners. The thought of trying to balance all of that and a family.. I suddenly need a nap. Lol. Luckily my husband agrees. Not for us. Best wishes on your journey. It's a wise decision to take care of you first. Less likely to inflict trauma on someone else, even when it's totally unintentional.. and you being traumatized.. be well. 😊
Thanks for sharing, I have seen that poly in action, even lived with people in a big shared apartment that were poly. Lot of ego, drama, pain and suffering inflicted on all parties, very immature men just wanting to f@ck around with no real commitment, telling the lie of freedom just using women. Lot of unhealthy power dynamics going on too. Also the energy of "we are more evolved being poly" that I don't like.
Non-monogamy sounds like one of the dumbest ideas humans have ever thought of. Jealousy can actually be a really healthy thing. If you love a woman, of course you'd be jealous and broken if she slept with someone else, even if she told you about it beforehand. It SHOULD hurt you deeply.
No, like most people you equate love with sex. Monogamy is one of the dumbest ideas that most people still believe in. People in monogamous relationships they put all of their trust in that person and put them on a pedestal, then something happens and they break it off, just to try the same thing with another person. And people especially women put their significant other above everyone else, have little to no time for close friendships with others and they do not grow as a person.
Exactly, he was getting permission to still live like a 20 year old lad, which every guy would take advantage of if they didnt love their partner. The only reason he wouldnt of cared about his partner sleeping around, is because he didnt really love her. Theres no way a man can love a woman and be willing to share her at all. Unless the man has some form of mental issues.
Pretty much spot on, except that when you're dating around there is not necessarily any accountability. With polyamory, as he describes it, you are transparent with one or more people about all the people you are dating and what you are getting up to, seems like unnecessary drama to me.
My experience of looking into it very briefly. I lied to myself that I just wanted to explore but my true motivation was to avoid being let down by one person and I wanted back up. Sometimes it's motivated by lack of trust that people will be there for us and we're trying to desensitise ourselves but really it was a painful self deception. If you believe one person can't be relied on, you just find that more people can't be relied on either. I think for me I'd rather just focus more on self love and spiritual practice. More people, more confusion unless you have a very strong back bone. However I think there are better ways to challenge and grow in life spiritually. It's whether you choose a small knife, a carving knife or a chainsaw. Polyamory for me is an unnecessary chainsaw Good interview. Interesting
Well put. I don't feel that it's horrible for others who are ethical and yet I just couldn't. My husband says why be committed, just date openly together. He's not trying to judge it's seems like a big stupid risk and if ya love someone why would you risk it but he and I both understand it might be practical for some. In the face of all the cheating that goes on. Maybe for some an open door policy is best.
Damn man, this is a conversation that I would have never experienced in my life. Polyamory is not for me at all whatsoever, would never even consider it, but so so interesting hearing someone articulate it in the way Aubrey did. Insane conversation Chris, thanks and well done.
@@isabellalora6533 Currently in a relationship and thinking of being intimate with someone else is firstly just feels wrong (not for other people but for me) and secondly imagining my partner with other people is equally as disturbing. We are together and I strive to cater for everything she needs and try be very open to critism in all areas. Thirdly the time element, sustaining a relationship while working hard, trying to eat healthy, sleep healthy and exercise often while maintaining hobbies, cannot even imagine trying to seek out new partners or facilitating polyamory relationship with them.
@@beautiful4359 he is the definition of a cuck. jealousy is a normal thing. its not a question of mastery. its biological scripted in us. for men might sound awesome having sex with tons of side women wich he calls amazing humans (looool sounds like straight ego) while always having that main chick always there. the thing is the same doesnt work for women, if women really love you they wouldnt be fkin other dudes and letting you involve urself with other women. gotta give props to her women because psychology cant be changed, she knows hes a cuck, so she might be playing on his money. I wouldnt give them another 10 years looking back on fkn tons of women and men on the side while looking at themselves in the mirror will be instant trauma. must feel good kissing your women lips after she been w other dude just minutes ago looool his response: thats beautiful amazing humans loool
@@lalakingo7 I agree. I understand how and why it works for others. For those who are ethical..great for them. But we couldn't. I simply couldn't. I wouldn't want to. I'm honestly not sexually attracted to others since my husband. He says the same and that he absolutely couldn't do it or deal with me with another. He says he wouldn't be able to have an erection bc he'd feel so wrong about it. We see the beauty in others having ethical ENM in whatever form. I CAN see the sacredness in it for others. To have that complete trust, love, respect and faith..hell, even compersion for each other in the face of knowing the other is enjoying another in one of the most intimate, sacred ways I can personally imagine being with another and be happy for your partner and secure. We ALSO see the sacred beauty in our way were we treasure that same connection and could never dare think of experiencing that with anyone else.. but each other. We've been together a long time... the longer we're together, the stronger the bond and the more in love we become. Sharing in any capacity just wouldn't/couldn't work for us. It's beyond jealousy.. not severe jealousy just an absolute knowing we are only for each other. One of his best friends is poly and very happily married. They have a great marriage. So, we see it often and discuss it. We just know our way is best for us and apparently their way is blessing for them in their eyes.
Beautiful. I had an open relationship and felt this same way. The same exact experience is the one I had as well, an open relationship is so beautiful and freeing ❤
@@jimparsons4312 No it wasn’t. When Aubrey first presented it as a choice he was not relinquishing she cried. Audrey himself admitted that he was cold and uncaring about her tears.
Not anymore haha. That's how he used to be, he bailed out of polyamory like 2 years ago. I would say it was more of him trying to see and use that extreme pain as real growth even though it was ripping him apart and it just wasn't for him. Honestly he's come out the other side of it well, all things considered. Or at least he sounds like he has haha.
The thing I continue to be unable to understand is why we look so hard at "jealousy" as something that needs to be eradicated the second it shows up. We give all of our other emotions so much respect and thoughtful consideration but jealousy is the one society has told us that if we were 'better people' we'd never feel, and we just took that and ran with it. Pain in any other context is evidence that something is wrong.. that you're doing a thing to your body that isn't harmonious with it. Is it possible that icky feeling you get when your partner is with someone else is the exact same thing, but on an emotional/ spiritual level? Like.. it's okay to say that something is hurting your feelings because deep down, it isn't harmonizing with who you really are. For some reason we're not giving ourselves the same room when it comes to how we feel about our people giving romantically to others. Suddenly the presence of pain or 'jealousy' is because you're selfish, weak, shameful, 'traditional' (and thereby boring, somehow), and all these other unnecessary things that you then try to 'overcome' by forcing yourself to do/witness things that make you deeply unhappy, when that was never required for your spiritual growth to begin with. Polyamory is not a shortcut or a doorway to anything you wouldn't be able to reach by turning inward and dealing with YOURSELF first.
The version that girls and women hear over and over again when they don't like it when their partner watches porn: you're insecure, needy, sex-negative etc. There's so much gaslighting around what we should like or not.
Not Will Smith said this! It was the "spirit" of his wife Jada Pinckett Smith who said this. She made him getting this "spiritual " idea...."wisdom".... Perhaps I am wrong! But I have watched her behavior in previous videos since the famous Oscar's 2022. She has made an idiot, a fool out of him. Meanwhile I call this " toxic femininity".
Polyamory seems to be driven by some kind of reward-seeking behavior, that suppresses a feeling of loneliness. I’d guess it is some distressed behavior, like acting out. It seems like childish behavior, and wanting more. Any one else see this?
You have no idea what are you taking about. Same can be said for marriage. It's kids fantasy about Disney world, prince who will marry you. Polyamory is more truth and can be much more painful, but so liberating.
@@mishalraza7484 rarely. Mostly it's because of social pressure. But if man is poly by nature and status (the stronger the man the more poly he is usually, not strong in physical sense) he will not be happy as a mono. Never change for partner, only for yourself.
this is the one area where I just disagree completely with marcus, he is a wonderful man but I couldn't do that to myself. there is a reason why it hurt so bad.
I appreciate your point and saying so bc in my life, more often than not, men rarely seem to want only one partner. They only abstain bc they know their partner won't hear of it, be poly or whatever. So I hugely distrust gents. Been cheated on too many times. And most male figures in my life cheat on their partners or you know they want to. And then I'm just thinking, why bother being committed? My husband (2nd) is a rare exception. He's very monogamous and loyal. No wandering eye. He just doesn't care about other women. He treats me like a Goddess and even still bc of past traumas, I'm very paranoid. I know it's PTSD. And I keep it in check. He's great at reading my tells and reassures me. I feel safe letting him know when I feel afraid. I just rarely hear other men say what you said. It's refreshing. So thank you, sincerely.
I have no experience with it but from what I do know about the studies on how virtually all women are only attracted to the top 20% of men, my asumption about polyamory is that it will be a great deal for women and for the top 20% of men but it will be severely emotionally damaging for the 80% of men.
Yes but the majority of women can't sleep with the top 20% of men because those men are so desirable they usually only select the most attractive women. The only men that are going to allow polyamory are men with very limited sexual and relationship options. Men have an innate wiring to not provide and protect a woman who physically intimate with other men to avoid paternity issues.
@@Conservative_carnivore I agree with your point, but I think you might be overestimating the pickiness of the men. I think if the most attractive women are unavailable for whatever reason, a 9/10 or 10/10 type guy will go ahead and get with an average woman for a night of fun and then ghost her. Whereas most, not all but most, women in that position would rather spend the evening alone than get with a guy they have no real interest in just for a one night stand. I could be wrong, but that's my impression about how men and women make different choices.
@@patrickbarnes9874 You're partially right in your analysis. Women will hold out and typically not sleep down whereas men will. BUT you're 8-10 men will almost never sleep with a woman below a 7 because supply and demand. There are more females than males in those ranges and availability of those women is high. It's far more common for 6 and 7 males to sleep with 4 and 5 females. While both genders ideally want to mate with 8-10s the reality is most are within 2 points of each other.
@@Heyoka-gq4wlWomen push this because there are more women that want access to the top males than 20% males. Also the low 80% males that accept their place want this.
We cannot deny nature. We are not polyamorous. That is why he could not get over those feelings. Jealousy is baked into our biology because its part of natural selection. . Many societies have collapsed when hedonism becomes the prevailing philosophy of the society. Things like Polyamory are always seen at the end of a civilization. People are not products to be experienced for pleasure. Monogomy requires sacrifice ,discipline and structure. Hedonism views sacrifice as a bad thing.
@Michael Cueva I am aware of the polygamy theory but disagree with it. We can see by the semen volume of human males that we are actually more suited to monogamy. Also the progression of society shows that successful societies form from monogamous behavior and then over time you see the degeneration of that and therefore the collapse. I think the reason monogamy is successful is because it enforces discipline and order. Polygamy is the equivalent of greed by men in developed society's. Pairing as many men as possible with women makes them want to build and protect the society they form a part of. Without that there is no motivation and over time they tend to then tear down the society they form part of. As we have observed throughout history. If you look at this from a game theory, systems theory perspective then monogamy is obvious. Christianity came to that conclusion for a reason. No accident that Christianity formed at the fall of the roman empire.
@Michael Cueva Agree. This theory can be taken into much more depth if you approach it from a games theory lens. Nature rewards the most successful strategies. Monogamy is successful because it takes discipline and sacrifice. Disciplined people are generally lead more fulfilling lives and build more successful communities. What we see now is a breakdown of that. If you eat cake all day you will get fat. That applies to sex as well. You devalue people when you consume them like products for pleasure.
Not everyone is built for monogamy; not everyone is built for polyamory. Each side should be supportive of those that truly want the other. All these comments about how poly is guaranteed disaster and yada yada yada are espousing that view based on their own framework that was hammered in - every single day - since they were read their first story book as a toddler. Aubrey reflects on HIS experience and other's experiences are cherry-picked that support his decision. Just as the world has many great and shitty mono relationships, so too are there in poly. Aubrey had a bad experience overall. Just as a poly person should respect a mono's choice and not trash on it, so too goes for a mono person. We should be glad we are living in a time where people can find out what works for them as we all deserve to live a happy life.
Actually, no. Because monogamy stabilizes society. Monogamy creates less violence for men and women and more stability and safety for children. Also, most people in plural relationships are very jealous and not long term functional. Hardly even short term functional.
@@deezed6478 You really don't know what you are talking about. Perhaps you're making a strawman by saying I was suggesting polygamy - but that is not at all what I was suggesting.
@@deezed6478 Monogamy essentially tries to ensure 'no one is left behind'. E.g. 10% of men aren't monopolizing all the women - which of course leads to societal problems. But that's not what I'm talking about or condoning.
Chris is both honest and very sharp. He asks great questions. I wish Vylana was present to express her thoughts and experiences regarding polyamory in her marriage to Aubrey.
Let’s be honest the woman benefits a lot more in poly relationships. There is a never ending lineup of dudes who want to rail every girl. But most men do not have this luxury. When it comes to poly relationships, often it’s the man crying into his beer and the woman jumping for joy and full of glee.
A lot of people will not say it because it's considered uncool or judgmental, but there is almost always some kinda serious substance abuse involved in these kinda things. It might be under the guise of exploration or whatever but it's always there.
That's not based on any evidence. I see no correlation and that's neither cool or uncool. It's just not based on fact. I was curious to explore it and if anything I was curious about it because I didn't think I could rely on one person solely. Zero substance abuse. That's kinda absurd
I haven’t checked into Aubrey Marcus for a few years now . I found out about him as a lot of people , from JRE & the Onnit brand I guess in 2010s ? I admired the “functional fitness/ life betterment” things during RUclipss & Social Media rise of mid 2000s… It’s SO weird to see SO many people I followed back in days like Joe Rogan, Aub Marcus, Elliot Hulse, Hodge Twins, Jordan Peterson, etc etc become these people with (ahem) odd life trajectories. Yes I know someone will read this and argue “what is odd/people can change” or some “well actually” statement… But it goes to show be careful who you follow or consume advice from. And be ready to part ways if that persons brand drifts from who you want to be.
If you sleep around on your wife and she sleeps around on you that is fine but that is not marriage. By definition being married is a closed contract with you and the Lord and your wife. There is no negotiation on this subject. You can pretend to be married and take it serious and sleep with other people you can also be married and beat your wife and rape her. But this is not something that you can negotiate as far as a legitimate marriage under God and as originally created. I believe we should call this relationship something else. An entirely different name. Just to keep marriage from being tainted. There is no judgment of people that do this from me I am not perfect but marriage should be shown the respect it deserves.
The same goes for homosexual marriage and not being able to reproduce. It may be a relationship but it is not real marriage that has existed for thousands of years.
@@kohlmiller7294 do you feel the same way about hetero marriages with no children? Does a marriage only become legitimate after the birth of the first child? Or is it at the point of conception?
Hense to my point when people ask why we don't plan on getting married. Neither of us believe in God as per any religion prescribes. It would be meaningless beyond our own professions of love to each other which need not be facilitated by a religious ceremony.
I don’t ban anything. RUclips has an auto-hide function for comments it detects as spam or offensive. If your comment is getting pinged by the algorithm as spam then that’s a you problem.
@@ChrisWillx the interesting part is that youtube is absolutely just filled with spam comments. Go to a pewdiepie or Linus tech tips video and there are accounts that do nothing but spam that youtube hasn’t dealt with either comments or the accounts.
Whitney was narcissistically abused by Aubrey...devalued through diminishing her boundaries and eventually discarded. The soft tones will not cut it, this is a man who exploits women in the name of freedom. The best thing for women is to discern and keep her trust (and her life) from men like these. I really do send a prayer out for Whitney and for her to attain perfect peace, she must have suffered so bad.
I am not familiar with Aubrey. At once he expresses regret for polyamory while at the same time endorsing it. That is hypocrisy. Sex and lust is about you Aubrey, love and intimacy are about the other. Polyamory has no redeeming features, none, and the men who perpetrate it are cowards. I like your content Chris but this, this was awful and and affront to what masculine men were created for. Ne timeas.
Poly is only a lifestyle that a beta male could agree to participate in. No man worth his weight in dog shit would agree to let another man rail his wife.
I see a lot of comments from very triggered people. Polyamory works for some people. Monogamy works for some people. Maybe monogamy is easier but the reality is that there is no one size fits all…
@@jonathantoniolo2782 He "brought other women into their container" and although he tells her she's welcome to bring other men into it, he's relieved that she doesn't want to see another man. Him being in control = he is OK is quite correct.
@@artingwithmy4879 wait that seems so against what they’ve both been professing about monogamy for the last few years…are you sure their relationship opened up again?
Arhhhhh..Romance...now you are talking. Romantic men are a rare breed, but I believe that being a romantic and with the right person provides the deepest level of connection and best sex ever. There are some women looking for a man to be able to flex his manhood with her, and to explore depths not often visited.....
The biggest "cold plunge" is to practice sexual exclusivity with one person for 40-50 years... Neither enjoyable, nor realistic. I personally also can't imagine being in an open relationship, but I know enough about evolutionary biology to understand just how flawed the concept of nuclear family is (beyond 7-10 statistical years). I don't know the answers, but hopefully the knowledge can be obtained from learning more about ourselves when we were more in harmony with nature.
A non monogamy period as a prep school for marriage??? Definitely not! Don’t you hate it when monogamous people speak about things out of their skope of understanding? Shall we also hear from some heterosexual people who tried to be gay before they found their perfect hetero partner? These two are making it difficult for people who actually are non monogamous. But at least they talk about it so non monogamy can finally start existing for people in the world.
Is the term Teritorial lmperative commonly used in reference to polyamorus relationships? I knew a couple who made it work for years then it didn't. I lived in an open relationship for many years then l didn't want any part of it any more. So l understand from experience the thoughts and feelings of which you speak.
I can tell you as someone who eats a lot of Iboga- that this is NOT a viable solution. I recall seeing a show with Dr Phil, and to use his quote he said "honestly I have never seen this work..."
"What Really Bonds is Less Orgasms & More Intercourse, with Marnia Robinson" there is a youtube video titled this, and i got reminded of this, i think some may find it interesting too
These poor women. Their hearts & bodies at the disposal of a man’s pride & ego. There is absolutely no way that this didn’t break each one of them down. This is heartbreaking for them, and now they’re just a memory of good times. I’m sure this is going to negatively effect how they move forward with men in the future. How could You ever trust or feel safe with a man after spending so many years never feels fully good enough.
Is it even possible to be in love with several people at the same time as Audrey claims?? When we truly in love do we even want to spend time with other potential lovers?? U can like, respect and even have love for several people, but not being in love, not for me anyways; not mention that to even get to this place of developing those feelings for several people , one has to have awful a lot of time on one's hands
What if this poly thing is people ruining away from real connections real love being a safe space to self and others , secret union is 2 becoming one ☝🏻 , even people who do it they keep secrets and it get so messy and hurtful most of the time .
I think poly only works for bisexual folks, tbh. And even then, I'm not so sure that it works. ... I can't say that I'm 100% sure monogamy works either ... It's in God's hands for me @ this point
This was a very good conversation. I don’t often come across people that really understands what it takes to be poly and have those kind of relationships. Like he said; many think, oh great, you get to have however many you want on the side - like, living the dream, right? And they think, I want that too. But they find out almost immediately, that they don’t. That it’s not like that, and they’re not cut out for it; it was just a fantasy. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Others see it as cheating. And it’s the opposite of that. That’s what he meant with the complete honesty that’s necessary. I’m one of those rare persons he’s talking about. I love to see my partner be with others, it makes me ridiculously happy. If I’d have my way, I would live with a man and one or more women. It’s not that I can’t get jealous. I’ve experienced it. But maybe only twice in my life, and I’ve lived a few decades. It’s just not natural to me, feeling jealousy in a romantic relationship. But as he said, it’s extremely rare to meet someone like that. Someone who wants that, and wants it for real, and can handle it, and thrive within it. I’ve only met one man that could, that saw it the way I do, and felt the same. It’s like finding a unicorn, in a sense. So I don’t hold my breath in the hopes of ever meeting someone like that again. And maybe one day I’ll find what he did - someone that I want to be in a completely monogamous relationship with? I’m having a hard time thinking that’ll be the case , but anything is possible, I think. I’m not opposed to monogamy, at all. Just to be very clear. I’m very opposed to cheating though.
I am in that relationship. I guess I should get an ashram. Ive even watched through a security camera and thought I was going to die. We’re going on 5 years now. I think Aubrey bailed and didn’t learn the lesson, but that’s ok bud. It’ll come ‘round.
Marriage is medievil contractual garbage, polymory is human nature, you must be able to tell your partner when you are not feeling the relationship any longer and move on, and you must be able to let your partner go without guilt. Its letting each other be free.
Watch the full episode with Aubrey here - ruclips.net/video/DJrtiDweAV0/видео.html
FYI Chris the last few seconds of the video's audio in this video is goofed up. Thanks for the content and keep it up!
you linked Rubinomics 101 (feat. Dave Rubin)
Correct link is ruclips.net/video/VE_om1Tfxvk/видео.html
I love Whitney still owning Marcus
You need to have Jon Kim "The Angry Therapist" on here if you haven't heard many people talking about preparing themselves to be the man they want to be before getting married. There's also a book called "Keeping the Love you Find" that points out the essential time period of being single to discover yourself before becoming committed for life.
The flaw with all this is, when you have no commitment you have no commitment. You cannot grow with another person without commitment. If you aren't ready to commit to a relationship, stay friends. If you always have an easy way out, you'll always have at least one eye on the door.
polyamory doesnt exclude commitment, not ethical polyamory at least, mature polyamory
@@contranym_ "ethical polyamory""mature polyamory" lol
Non-commitment and non-monogamy are not synonymous. Please stop. Every relationship requires a level of commitment. Even friendship.
@@davidstern5012 they try too hard lol
Polyamory has nothing to do with non commitment but for me I would find it too confusing. More people, more confusion and more distraction. I think it would take a seriously strong and confident person to manage it and when I considered it in my head I do think my motives were to avoid being abandoned or let down by one person so I realised I was curious for all the wrong reasons
Everyone I’ve met who started an open marriage ended up divorced.
No difference with normal marriages lol
Monogamous relationships are highly flawed. That is why so many of them try to have open marriages lol.
Fucking around and calling it a relationship is like having tons of one night stands and calling it love. “Getting to experience lots of people” is potentially an advantage of being single and dating, not being in a relationship. Calling such a situation “sacred” is just nonsense. Humans don’t want to share their mates.
You know what else is hard? Putting your hand into a wood chipper. Doesn’t mean it’s right or healthy or good for you in any way. You know what’s even harder? Saving yourself for your eventual spouse and spending the rest of your life devoted to that person. Polyamory is a way out for a generation of disaffected people who have no religious foundation and have been screwed by the system, and they don’t realize polyamory will just make everything worse, and make it that much harder to be happy in the long term.
Very well said. 100%
I'm not even religious and it's hard for me to disagree. After all this sexual revolution what almost everyone found out is that commited monogamous relationship is where happiness and meaning is. Sometimes it doesn't work out of course, but to commit yourself to not commitment is just pointless.
boom...truth bombs.
Agreed, except for the religious-thing. Lots of religious ppl cheat. Religion can even support non-monogamy (Mormons, hello?) Religion isn't the answer to being faithful or monogamous.
If everyone embraced polyamory like this bloke, society would be fucked.
Your so wrong, if everyone embraced it (not that they would), there would be almost no STD's, dating today nobody knows whos with who, whreas open relationshpis theres honset comunication im seeing 1 or 2 peoploel on the side theres condoms and regular sti tests. Also cheating would completly dissapear and the lying related to that, or mens emotional guilt for wanting to cheat or cheating,Divorce rates would go down as cheating is one of the main reason for diivroce, and you can maintain womens rights wthiout having to control them with a partriachy like parts of the middle east and africa right now or america in 1950's or victorian england. Of course 30% of people nuder 30 cuuldnt do thsi because of jelousy or 50% of people over that age because of jelousy but a lot of people can, and the world would be a better place for the first 5 reasons i mentioned
@@corysmith3447 lmfao
@@professormeow7432 Sounds funny but its logically true and rationally sound.again people who are high on the jelousy scale shouldnt do it, if your a man with healthy testosterone levels low jelousy under age of 60 it works, humans are pair bonding creatures that desire variety on the side especially men but are not life long monogomous no eveolutionary biologist says that
Society is fucked because of marriage. Polymory is human nature
@@Irongaint Good luck with that strategy
Wow funny. I remember watching his videos about non monogamy and being like …. Yeaaaaaaahhhhhh ok… and here is monogamous again. It’s true, we all have our journey, but that’s what’s so annoying about people promoting non monog. Or act like it’s better or more natural to be non monog. Most people are not non monog their whole lives, we all reach a point where we need just one companion (or none). And it’s not easy to have multiple partners. I’ve watched many friends go through so much emotional turmoil because they tried it. Ruined meaningful relationships because they were enticed by the idea of it.
PERSONALLY, I find it hard enough giving my energy, love, and time to one person. No way could I have multiple partners. And sex is not that important. That’s why it’s annoying how so many in the fake hippie community are poly and shit.. they think it’s more evolved. Because you think you need to have sex with as many people as you want? That’s not evolved. Sex is just a distraction from many things. It’s a temptation of the earthly realms. Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it and make it spiritual, but if you need to fuck lots of different people all the time - that’s some personal ego shit you gotta work through. That’s not evolved.
One person for me… or none at all.
I’m 23, been in one LTR, had a hard time being committed, so I decided I’m riding solo until I’m more mature and interested in putting in the hard work commitment requires.
Thanks for explaining this way.
You named it:
Sleeping around is an ego trip.
Why? Why not being “single” and honest with yourself and just go around few times if that is what you desire! This polyamory is a confused state of a “relationship” demeaning the essence of what a committed relationship is about or a marriage! What is the point? To tame your daemons ? This is nonsensical.
It's not all about the sex. Not poly unless they're using it as a cover to not be faithful. And that absolutely happens. But some really do love more than 1at a time. It isn't just sex. When it is just about sex, I personally can't consider it poly. It's more about ENM/ swinger, FWB. Poly is about love. Sex usually accompanies it.
Sex is important for some. Me. I'm not poly. Ever. But I have a high libido and sex is a very intrical part in how I show love for husband to and with him. He's not poly either. But we definitely make sex a priority.
I'll admit that one spouse bis MORE than enough. Lol. I don't have time, patience, energy, or desire to deal with the drama and chaos.. all that comes with multiple partners. The thought of trying to balance all of that and a family.. I suddenly need a nap. Lol. Luckily my husband agrees. Not for us.
Best wishes on your journey. It's a wise decision to take care of you first. Less likely to inflict trauma on someone else, even when it's totally unintentional.. and you being traumatized.. be well. 😊
Thanks for sharing, I have seen that poly in action, even lived with people in a big shared apartment that were poly. Lot of ego, drama, pain and suffering inflicted on all parties, very immature men just wanting to f@ck around with no real commitment, telling the lie of freedom just using women. Lot of unhealthy power dynamics going on too. Also the energy of "we are more evolved being poly" that I don't like.
Non-monogamy sounds like one of the dumbest ideas humans have ever thought of. Jealousy can actually be a really healthy thing. If you love a woman, of course you'd be jealous and broken if she slept with someone else, even if she told you about it beforehand. It SHOULD hurt you deeply.
it hurts. unless he likes being cucked and thats what it is. she also has trauma so... 1+1
I agree. He keeps icing a shit cake and calling it love.
No, like most people you equate love with sex. Monogamy is one of the dumbest ideas that most people still believe in. People in monogamous relationships they put all of their trust in that person and put them on a pedestal, then something happens and they break it off, just to try the same thing with another person. And people especially women put their significant other above everyone else, have little to no time for close friendships with others and they do not grow as a person.
If it hurts you is because you overinvested
Sounds like he was just dating around "like normal people" and then found the right person and settled down.
What's the difference?
Exactly, he was getting permission to still live like a 20 year old lad, which every guy would take advantage of if they didnt love their partner. The only reason he wouldnt of cared about his partner sleeping around, is because he didnt really love her. Theres no way a man can love a woman and be willing to share her at all. Unless the man has some form of mental issues.
@@Jacob-Vivimord That was my point.
Pretty much spot on, except that when you're dating around there is not necessarily any accountability. With polyamory, as he describes it, you are transparent with one or more people about all the people you are dating and what you are getting up to, seems like unnecessary drama to me.
@@Durram258 yeah that’s the guru who sold his book for other people to live by…a total sociopath
The argument is based on a false notion; that jealousy is something to be extinguished.
No offense, but you're not selling polyamory with that..
My experience of looking into it very briefly. I lied to myself that I just wanted to explore but my true motivation was to avoid being let down by one person and I wanted back up. Sometimes it's motivated by lack of trust that people will be there for us and we're trying to desensitise ourselves but really it was a painful self deception. If you believe one person can't be relied on, you just find that more people can't be relied on either. I think for me I'd rather just focus more on self love and spiritual practice. More people, more confusion unless you have a very strong back bone. However I think there are better ways to challenge and grow in life spiritually. It's whether you choose a small knife, a carving knife or a chainsaw. Polyamory for me is an unnecessary chainsaw
Good interview. Interesting
I agree completely.
☮️
Probably one of the most deep honest responses here. Excellent comment...truly form a place of experience and understanding
Well put. I don't feel that it's horrible for others who are ethical and yet I just couldn't. My husband says why be committed, just date openly together. He's not trying to judge it's seems like a big stupid risk and if ya love someone why would you risk it but he and I both understand it might be practical for some. In the face of all the cheating that goes on. Maybe for some an open door policy is best.
Damn man, this is a conversation that I would have never experienced in my life. Polyamory is not for me at all whatsoever, would never even consider it, but so so interesting hearing someone articulate it in the way Aubrey did. Insane conversation Chris, thanks and well done.
Why do you think that it isn’t for you?
@@isabellalora6533 Currently in a relationship and thinking of being intimate with someone else is firstly just feels wrong (not for other people but for me) and secondly imagining my partner with other people is equally as disturbing. We are together and I strive to cater for everything she needs and try be very open to critism in all areas. Thirdly the time element, sustaining a relationship while working hard, trying to eat healthy, sleep healthy and exercise often while maintaining hobbies, cannot even imagine trying to seek out new partners or facilitating polyamory relationship with them.
Yeah, lots of therapists would see this conversation as rationalizing dysfunctional, unhealthy relationships.
@@beautiful4359 he is the definition of a cuck. jealousy is a normal thing. its not a question of mastery. its biological scripted in us. for men might sound awesome having sex with tons of side women wich he calls amazing humans (looool sounds like straight ego) while always having that main chick always there. the thing is the same doesnt work for women, if women really love you they wouldnt be fkin other dudes and letting you involve urself with other women. gotta give props to her women because psychology cant be changed, she knows hes a cuck, so she might be playing on his money. I wouldnt give them another 10 years looking back on fkn tons of women and men on the side while looking at themselves in the mirror will be instant trauma. must feel good kissing your women lips after she been w other dude just minutes ago looool his response: thats beautiful amazing humans loool
@@lalakingo7 I agree. I understand how and why it works for others. For those who are ethical..great for them. But we couldn't. I simply couldn't. I wouldn't want to. I'm honestly not sexually attracted to others since my husband. He says the same and that he absolutely couldn't do it or deal with me with another. He says he wouldn't be able to have an erection bc he'd feel so wrong about it.
We see the beauty in others having ethical ENM in whatever form. I CAN see the sacredness in it for others. To have that complete trust, love, respect and faith..hell, even compersion for each other in the face of knowing the other is enjoying another in one of the most intimate, sacred ways I can personally imagine being with another and be happy for your partner and secure.
We ALSO see the sacred beauty in our way were we treasure that same connection and could never dare think of experiencing that with anyone else.. but each other. We've been together a long time... the longer we're together, the stronger the bond and the more in love we become. Sharing in any capacity just wouldn't/couldn't work for us. It's beyond jealousy.. not severe jealousy just an absolute knowing we are only for each other.
One of his best friends is poly and very happily married. They have a great marriage. So, we see it often and discuss it. We just know our way is best for us and apparently their way is blessing for them in their eyes.
Beautiful. I had an open relationship and felt this same way. The same exact experience is the one I had as well, an open relationship is so beautiful and freeing ❤
He wasn’t capable of committing to Whitney. Plain and simple. Date around, free pass. I’d rather be alone as a woman than date a man like Aubrey.
The poly lifestyle was Whitney’s idea
@@jimparsons4312
Interesting fact, good to know !
@@jimparsons4312
It wasn’t her idea.
@@aliyarahman85 yes it was
@@jimparsons4312
No it wasn’t. When Aubrey first presented it as a choice he was not relinquishing she cried. Audrey himself admitted that he was cold and uncaring about her tears.
Dude sounds like he's trying to convince himself he's OK with his wife or whoever cheating. Pretty sad
Not anymore haha. That's how he used to be, he bailed out of polyamory like 2 years ago. I would say it was more of him trying to see and use that extreme pain as real growth even though it was ripping him apart and it just wasn't for him. Honestly he's come out the other side of it well, all things considered. Or at least he sounds like he has haha.
He isn't. If she did it he would go mad.
Cheating is an illusion.
@@michellepetros8491 lol
@@michellepetros8491how so?
Why not just stay single if you want to sleep about? It cuts out all the jealousy and stress puking etc…. Maybe I’m old fashioned 🤷♀️
The thing I continue to be unable to understand is why we look so hard at "jealousy" as something that needs to be eradicated the second it shows up. We give all of our other emotions so much respect and thoughtful consideration but jealousy is the one society has told us that if we were 'better people' we'd never feel, and we just took that and ran with it.
Pain in any other context is evidence that something is wrong.. that you're doing a thing to your body that isn't harmonious with it. Is it possible that icky feeling you get when your partner is with someone else is the exact same thing, but on an emotional/ spiritual level? Like.. it's okay to say that something is hurting your feelings because deep down, it isn't harmonizing with who you really are. For some reason we're not giving ourselves the same room when it comes to how we feel about our people giving romantically to others. Suddenly the presence of pain or 'jealousy' is because you're selfish, weak, shameful, 'traditional' (and thereby boring, somehow), and all these other unnecessary things that you then try to 'overcome' by forcing yourself to do/witness things that make you deeply unhappy, when that was never required for your spiritual growth to begin with. Polyamory is not a shortcut or a doorway to anything you wouldn't be able to reach by turning inward and dealing with YOURSELF first.
Love. This.
The version that girls and women hear over and over again when they don't like it when their partner watches porn: you're insecure, needy, sex-negative etc. There's so much gaslighting around what we should like or not.
Really a fantastic insight. Thank you!
Jealosy might be a reaction to overinvesting
Falling in love is so easy and requires no degree of self awareness or virtue. I wouldn't even call it love. I'd call it mere infatuation.
Yeah shocking open marriages are a disaster, who would have thought? Will Smith called it the 'highest form of love' yesterday...
Not Will Smith said this!
It was the "spirit" of his wife Jada Pinckett Smith who said this.
She made him getting this "spiritual "
idea...."wisdom"....
Perhaps I am wrong! But I have watched
her behavior in previous videos since the famous Oscar's 2022. She has made an idiot, a fool out of him.
Meanwhile I call this " toxic femininity".
Polyamory just means you are bored of your relationship and not ready to commit to each other for some reason.
Polyamory seems to be driven by some kind of reward-seeking behavior, that suppresses a feeling of loneliness. I’d guess it is some distressed behavior, like acting out. It seems like childish behavior, and wanting more. Any one else see this?
Yup, that's exactly it.
Same opinion 👍
So is there any other polyamourous man who changed himself for one woman and became monogamous?
You have no idea what are you taking about. Same can be said for marriage. It's kids fantasy about Disney world, prince who will marry you. Polyamory is more truth and can be much more painful, but so liberating.
@@mishalraza7484 rarely. Mostly it's because of social pressure. But if man is poly by nature and status (the stronger the man the more poly he is usually, not strong in physical sense) he will not be happy as a mono. Never change for partner, only for yourself.
this is the one area where I just disagree completely with marcus, he is a wonderful man but I couldn't do that to myself. there is a reason why it hurt so bad.
Because your insecure
I appreciate your point and saying so bc in my life, more often than not, men rarely seem to want only one partner. They only abstain bc they know their partner won't hear of it, be poly or whatever.
So I hugely distrust gents. Been cheated on too many times. And most male figures in my life cheat on their partners or you know they want to. And then I'm just thinking, why bother being committed?
My husband (2nd) is a rare exception. He's very monogamous and loyal. No wandering eye. He just doesn't care about other women. He treats me like a Goddess and even still bc of past traumas, I'm very paranoid. I know it's PTSD. And I keep it in check. He's great at reading my tells and reassures me. I feel safe letting him know when I feel afraid. I just rarely hear other men say what you said. It's refreshing. So thank you, sincerely.
He is talking about his past, did no one listen to that part?
I have no experience with it but from what I do know about the studies on how virtually all women are only attracted to the top 20% of men, my asumption about polyamory is that it will be a great deal for women and for the top 20% of men but it will be severely emotionally damaging for the 80% of men.
Yes but the majority of women can't sleep with the top 20% of men because those men are so desirable they usually only select the most attractive women. The only men that are going to allow polyamory are men with very limited sexual and relationship options. Men have an innate wiring to not provide and protect a woman who physically intimate with other men to avoid paternity issues.
@@Conservative_carnivore I agree with your point, but I think you might be overestimating the pickiness of the men. I think if the most attractive women are unavailable for whatever reason, a 9/10 or 10/10 type guy will go ahead and get with an average woman for a night of fun and then ghost her. Whereas most, not all but most, women in that position would rather spend the evening alone than get with a guy they have no real interest in just for a one night stand. I could be wrong, but that's my impression about how men and women make different choices.
@@patrickbarnes9874 You're partially right in your analysis. Women will hold out and typically not sleep down whereas men will. BUT you're 8-10 men will almost never sleep with a woman below a 7 because supply and demand. There are more females than males in those ranges and availability of those women is high. It's far more common for 6 and 7 males to sleep with 4 and 5 females. While both genders ideally want to mate with 8-10s the reality is most are within 2 points of each other.
Funny you say that, in my experience, it was only women who mentioned or pushed this. Any self respecting man would shun it.
@@Heyoka-gq4wlWomen push this because there are more women that want access to the top males than 20% males.
Also the low 80% males that accept their place want this.
We cannot deny nature. We are not polyamorous. That is why he could not get over those feelings. Jealousy is baked into our biology because its part of natural selection. . Many societies have collapsed when hedonism becomes the prevailing philosophy of the society. Things like Polyamory are always seen at the end of a civilization. People are not products to be experienced for pleasure. Monogomy requires sacrifice ,discipline and structure. Hedonism views sacrifice as a bad thing.
@Michael Cueva I am aware of the polygamy theory but disagree with it. We can see by the semen volume of human males that we are actually more suited to monogamy. Also the progression of society shows that successful societies form from monogamous behavior and then over time you see the degeneration of that and therefore the collapse. I think the reason monogamy is successful is because it enforces discipline and order. Polygamy is the equivalent of greed by men in developed society's. Pairing as many men as possible with women makes them want to build and protect the society they form a part of. Without that there is no motivation and over time they tend to then tear down the society they form part of. As we have observed throughout history. If you look at this from a game theory, systems theory perspective then monogamy is obvious. Christianity came to that conclusion for a reason. No accident that Christianity formed at the fall of the roman empire.
@Michael Cueva Agree. This theory can be taken into much more depth if you approach it from a games theory lens. Nature rewards the most successful strategies. Monogamy is successful because it takes discipline and sacrifice. Disciplined people are generally lead more fulfilling lives and build more successful communities. What we see now is a breakdown of that. If you eat cake all day you will get fat. That applies to sex as well. You devalue people when you consume them like products for pleasure.
If polyamory means suffering from jealosy then its not hedonism.
Its quite the contrary
And also polyamory breed out the bad genes by letting the best ones procreate only
Not everyone is built for monogamy; not everyone is built for polyamory. Each side should be supportive of those that truly want the other. All these comments about how poly is guaranteed disaster and yada yada yada are espousing that view based on their own framework that was hammered in - every single day - since they were read their first story book as a toddler. Aubrey reflects on HIS experience and other's experiences are cherry-picked that support his decision. Just as the world has many great and shitty mono relationships, so too are there in poly. Aubrey had a bad experience overall. Just as a poly person should respect a mono's choice and not trash on it, so too goes for a mono person. We should be glad we are living in a time where people can find out what works for them as we all deserve to live a happy life.
Actually, no. Because monogamy stabilizes society. Monogamy creates less violence for men and women and more stability and safety for children. Also, most people in plural relationships are very jealous and not long term functional. Hardly even short term functional.
@@deezed6478 You really don't know what you are talking about. Perhaps you're making a strawman by saying I was suggesting polygamy - but that is not at all what I was suggesting.
@@00dfm00 I really do. Polyamory is bad for society. Monogamy betters society.
@@deezed6478 Monogamy essentially tries to ensure 'no one is left behind'. E.g. 10% of men aren't monopolizing all the women - which of course leads to societal problems. But that's not what I'm talking about or condoning.
Monogamy is sexual communism. Are you a commie?
Everything is beautiful. Any children involved in this equation? Selfish, wisdom, & truth?
Love the way he’s able to fool himself
In my 20 years of marriage, I have never thought of that, to have an open marriage, that my friend is a recipe for disaster.
Chris is both honest and very sharp. He asks great questions. I wish Vylana was present to express her thoughts and experiences regarding polyamory in her marriage to Aubrey.
@@michaelk4740 check out a more recent podcast he did with Vylana.
An open marriage is a absolute oxymoron
Thank you for being such an amazing interviewer!
"I got to experience many different people" yeah I bet you did.
Let’s be honest the woman benefits a lot more in poly relationships. There is a never ending lineup of dudes who want to rail every girl. But most men do not have this luxury. When it comes to poly relationships, often it’s the man crying into his beer and the woman jumping for joy and full of glee.
The level of compersion is spanking spanking his nose
The construct is flawed. Modern thinking is flawed.
A lot of people will not say it because it's considered uncool or judgmental, but there is almost always some kinda serious substance abuse involved in these kinda things. It might be under the guise of exploration or whatever but it's always there.
That's not based on any evidence. I see no correlation and that's neither cool or uncool. It's just not based on fact. I was curious to explore it and if anything I was curious about it because I didn't think I could rely on one person solely. Zero substance abuse. That's kinda absurd
Impressive that you were able to live this experience, thank you for sharing
I haven’t checked into Aubrey Marcus for a few years now . I found out about him as a lot of people , from JRE & the Onnit brand I guess in 2010s ? I admired the “functional fitness/ life betterment” things during RUclipss & Social Media rise of mid 2000s… It’s SO weird to see SO many people I followed back in days like Joe Rogan, Aub Marcus, Elliot Hulse, Hodge Twins, Jordan Peterson, etc etc become these people with (ahem) odd life trajectories. Yes I know someone will read this and argue “what is odd/people can change” or some “well actually” statement… But it goes to show be careful who you follow or consume advice from. And be ready to part ways if that persons brand drifts from who you want to be.
I used to watch Hodge twins years back, and just looked them up now... Wtf?! lol
100% agree!
Amazing conversation to hear 🙏🌟
If you sleep around on your wife and she sleeps around on you that is fine but that is not marriage. By definition being married is a closed contract with you and the Lord and your wife. There is no negotiation on this subject. You can pretend to be married and take it serious and sleep with other people you can also be married and beat your wife and rape her. But this is not something that you can negotiate as far as a legitimate marriage under God and as originally created. I believe we should call this relationship something else. An entirely different name. Just to keep marriage from being tainted. There is no judgment of people that do this from me I am not perfect but marriage should be shown the respect it deserves.
The same goes for homosexual marriage and not being able to reproduce. It may be a relationship but it is not real marriage that has existed for thousands of years.
@@kohlmiller7294 do you feel the same way about hetero marriages with no children? Does a marriage only become legitimate after the birth of the first child? Or is it at the point of conception?
Hense to my point when people ask why we don't plan on getting married. Neither of us believe in God as per any religion prescribes. It would be meaningless beyond our own professions of love to each other which need not be facilitated by a religious ceremony.
Marriage is a contract about wealth and property. Not contract of a heterosexual couple and God.
Open contract. Gfym
Shouldn't ban comments, it ruins subscriptions
I don’t ban anything. RUclips has an auto-hide function for comments it detects as spam or offensive. If your comment is getting pinged by the algorithm as spam then that’s a you problem.
@@ChrisWillx the interesting part is that youtube is absolutely just filled with spam comments. Go to a pewdiepie or Linus tech tips video and there are accounts that do nothing but spam that youtube hasn’t dealt with either comments or the accounts.
I’m going through the same exact thing. Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Polyamory is not about sleeping around. Polyamorous people want relationships. Not just fucking around…
It’s funny how he contradicts himself in the first 5 min. At first saying he transcended jealousy and then admitting that in fact he never did 😅
This was a surprisingly interesting conversation
God help us, we are going north
Controlled perversion is still perversion....
It's perversion cuz you believe it is.
Whitney was narcissistically abused by Aubrey...devalued through diminishing her boundaries and eventually discarded. The soft tones will not cut it, this is a man who exploits women in the name of freedom. The best thing for women is to discern and keep her trust (and her life) from men like these. I really do send a prayer out for Whitney and for her to attain perfect peace, she must have suffered so bad.
I know a guy in Brasil, he's living with 8 women right now,and very happy.
doesnt mean they are ... sounds pretty abusive to me ... like a hareem
I am not familiar with Aubrey. At once he expresses regret for polyamory while at the same time endorsing it. That is hypocrisy. Sex and lust is about you Aubrey, love and intimacy are about the other. Polyamory has no redeeming features, none, and the men who perpetrate it are cowards. I like your content Chris but this, this was awful and and affront to what masculine men were created for. Ne timeas.
Well-said.
Poly is only a lifestyle that a beta male could agree to participate in. No man worth his weight in dog shit would agree to let another man rail his wife.
I see a lot of comments from very triggered people. Polyamory works for some people. Monogamy works for some people. Maybe monogamy is easier but the reality is that there is no one size fits all…
It’s interesting to relisten to this after his foray back into non-monogamy. Seems like as long as he is in control he is OK
Say more? He came out recently and wants an open relationship with Vylana?
@@jonathantoniolo2782 He "brought other women into their container" and although he tells her she's welcome to bring other men into it, he's relieved that she doesn't want to see another man. Him being in control = he is OK is quite correct.
@@artingwithmy4879 wait that seems so against what they’ve both been professing about monogamy for the last few years…are you sure their relationship opened up again?
@@jonathantoniolo2782 yeah, there’s another video of them talking about their sex life and he brings it up
@@jonathantoniolo2782 to be clear, it seems like SHE meant whatever she’s said about not wanting to be with anyone else.
Arhhhhh..Romance...now you are talking. Romantic men are a rare breed, but I believe that being a romantic and with the right person provides the deepest level of connection and best sex ever. There are some women looking for a man to be able to flex his manhood with her, and to explore depths not often visited.....
I'm pretty sure polyamory is simply narcissistic and completely immoral to boot.
Your face immoral to look at
This guy is full of shit. "I am so amazing I can't even conceive of being jealous in this relationship". Nope. I ain't buying it.
You are right!
I want to see his reaction when his wife
would have an whatever kind of affair!
He contradicted himself in that statement. He said he could never be jealous but could not transcend it in the past, that's why they are monogamous.
The biggest "cold plunge" is to practice sexual exclusivity with one person for 40-50 years... Neither enjoyable, nor realistic. I personally also can't imagine being in an open relationship, but I know enough about evolutionary biology to understand just how flawed the concept of nuclear family is (beyond 7-10 statistical years). I don't know the answers, but hopefully the knowledge can be obtained from learning more about ourselves when we were more in harmony with nature.
A non monogamy period as a prep school for marriage??? Definitely not! Don’t you hate it when monogamous people speak about things out of their skope of understanding? Shall we also hear from some heterosexual people who tried to be gay before they found their perfect hetero partner? These two are making it difficult for people who actually are non monogamous. But at least they talk about it so non monogamy can finally start existing for people in the world.
Wtf, using it to prepare for a future relationship? Yall are psychotic.
Self-deception!
It's as simple as that...
Toddlers f***ing around!
Is the term Teritorial lmperative commonly used in reference to polyamorus relationships? I knew a couple who made it work for years then it didn't. I lived in an open relationship for many years then l didn't want any part of it any more. So l understand from experience the thoughts and feelings of which you speak.
Please always post or be honest that you’re polyamorous. I’m not, and I prefer the notice so we can both save time.
I can tell you as someone who eats a lot of Iboga- that this is NOT a viable solution. I recall seeing a show with Dr Phil, and to use his quote he said "honestly I have never seen this work..."
Polyamory benefits males and males only. It's liberating for males. It's "a journey" for males. Pornified culture tells women they must submit
totally agree I have seen it first hand , lot of hurt women in the process of free men
mOdErn wIsDOm is a Slippery slope
It require the very depraved not the best. The fuck
Not gonna lie, I miss being able to hear the outro.
"What Really Bonds is Less Orgasms & More Intercourse, with Marnia Robinson" there is a youtube video titled this, and i got reminded of this, i think some may find it interesting too
These poor women. Their hearts & bodies at the disposal of a man’s pride & ego. There is absolutely no way that this didn’t break each one of them down. This is heartbreaking for them, and now they’re just a memory of good times. I’m sure this is going to negatively effect how they move forward with men in the future. How could You ever trust or feel safe with a man after spending so many years never feels fully good enough.
Is it even possible to be in love with several people at the same time as Audrey claims?? When we truly in love do we even want to spend time with other potential lovers?? U can like, respect and even have love for several people, but not being in love, not for me anyways; not mention that to even get to this place of developing those feelings for several people , one has to have awful a lot of time on one's hands
What if this poly thing is people ruining away from real connections real love being a safe space to self and others , secret union is 2 becoming one ☝🏻 , even people who do it they keep secrets and it get so messy and hurtful most of the time .
I think poly only works for bisexual folks, tbh. And even then, I'm not so sure that it works. ... I can't say that I'm 100% sure monogamy works either ... It's in God's hands for me @ this point
This was a very good conversation. I don’t often come across people that really understands what it takes to be poly and have those kind of relationships. Like he said; many think, oh great, you get to have however many you want on the side - like, living the dream, right? And they think, I want that too. But they find out almost immediately, that they don’t. That it’s not like that, and they’re not cut out for it; it was just a fantasy. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Others see it as cheating. And it’s the opposite of that. That’s what he meant with the complete honesty that’s necessary.
I’m one of those rare persons he’s talking about. I love to see my partner be with others, it makes me ridiculously happy. If I’d have my way, I would live with a man and one or more women.
It’s not that I can’t get jealous. I’ve experienced it. But maybe only twice in my life, and I’ve lived a few decades. It’s just not natural to me, feeling jealousy in a romantic relationship.
But as he said, it’s extremely rare to meet someone like that. Someone who wants that, and wants it for real, and can handle it, and thrive within it. I’ve only met one man that could, that saw it the way I do, and felt the same. It’s like finding a unicorn, in a sense. So I don’t hold my breath in the hopes of ever meeting someone like that again.
And maybe one day I’ll find what he did - someone that I want to be in a completely monogamous relationship with? I’m having a hard time thinking that’ll be the case , but anything is possible, I think. I’m not opposed to monogamy, at all. Just to be very clear. I’m very opposed to cheating though.
SORRY bit this SOUNDS like BS and NOT SPIRITUAL AT ALL, no matter how they ADORN IT 😡😡😡
Why do this to yourself. 😂❤
Sweat lodges changed my life being comfortable in your suffering 💚🔥🛐
I guess it’s hot it they are too
Could anything possibly be more selfish? I think not.
Cuckolding in the Age of Aquarius.
What’s the lesson? Too bad you’re not a psychopath?? LMAO. Amazing where guilt can drive people.
Can you have friends without penetrating them Aubrey?
… keep away from the “beautiful” people who are vulnerable and participate in your sessions…
I am in that relationship. I guess I should get an ashram. Ive even watched through a security camera and thought I was going to die.
We’re going on 5 years now.
I think Aubrey bailed and didn’t learn the lesson, but that’s ok bud.
It’ll come ‘round.
I would be willing to try having many wives haha
Dog Park Life
Polyamory is not for betas .
BETA MALE.
Polyamory is the trash Beta's safe heaven.
Got no purpose for life other than exploring sexual desires.
Polyamory is f****** trash.
By definition, only a beta male would agree to poly.
Poly men are only betas. Show me a real man capable of commitment and leading a meaningful relationship.
I love this
All fkn noise. All disingenuous masquerading as authentic
Polyamory is whack
Aubrey slays fs. An alpha in touch with his feminine side? Game over.
Marriage is medievil contractual garbage, polymory is human nature, you must be able to tell your partner when you are not feeling the relationship any longer and move on, and you must be able to let your partner go without guilt. Its letting each other be free.
G. A. Y... That's the only dragon.
😂