CHILDREN OF NARCISSISTIC PARENTS VS BORDERLINE PARENTS
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- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
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This video explores key wounds and impacts upon children raised by parents with Narcissism vs Borderline traits and diagnoses. While we can see layering within both disorders, this video takes each diagnosis (theoretically) separately, and breaks down where children can struggle, as well as information on healing.
As many of you know, I was also raised by parents who remained untreated in both Narcissism, Borderline, and severe mental illness.
I will be making more videos on these topics and how these types of childhoods create attachment wounds, and impact our lives and relationships, and often perpetuate generational wounding.
For more information on how to understand, heal and deal with the trauma of being raised by untreated parents with Narcissism and/or Borderline, please consider joining my courses on Thinkific, as well as joining the private healing community that courses provide access to. Additionally, I have a course on helping you learn to heal your wounded inner child by transforming the child into a loving, internalized mother. The course is titled "Re-Mothered."
If you are not certain about childhood wounds and neglect, please also consider taking the free course on Thinkific as well. This course outlines 6 types of wounding, explores neglect and the impact of chronic stress and complex trauma as outcomes of difficult childhood experiences.
All courses include a videos, journal, workbook and guided meditations.
xo
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BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA
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RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO A LOVING, INTERNALIZED MOTHER
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***ALL COURSES INCLUDE WORKBOOKS AND JOURNALS, GUIDED MEDITATIONS
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Thank you so very much - I truly and sincerely appreciate you, and the time and thoughts you share here:)
"Your child is not your best friend." THANK YOU! I wish my father knew this! I was meant to be his son, not his confidante.
I have a narc mother and had an antisocial father. About 20 years ago (I am 60 now) I flat out told my mother I am a good person and gave about a dozen examples of how I am good to her. I also told her she can think what ever she likes and call me any name in the book but I KNOW who I am and she can no longer define me. Woohoo!!! And I’ll add that about 30 years ago I went no contact for a year (it was awesome and I came out of depression - all of this was guided by a mental health professional) and I stopped jumping through all the hoops she set up in order to keep her happy. I have limited contact now. When I visit her there have been times I simply (and calmly! -don’t give them any supply!!) left her presence. Such a moment of freedom - to, as an adult, to be able leave!
Life is good and I want to encourage everyone out there that it IS worth it!
Thank you so much for sharing this - it's so powerful to see and know that we can do things to protect ourselves in ways we could not in childhood:) I love that you have been able to remain self advocating!💗
I'm currently in this position! I'd really like to do the same. I'm currently stuck in the FOG.
@@lifewithabria5054 you deserve to be who you want to be, who you deserve to be, and to be with those who truly support you. You are worthy.
Good for you! I can agree and appreciate everything you have said. As for me, I’m 70 and looking back I have thought for the last 6-8 years that I am sorry I did not go no contact with my mother when I was in my 20’s or 30’s. I didn’t have the concept of no contact in my mind way back then but I always wished someone else could have been my mother and felt something was wrong with her but didn’t know what. I felt only relief when she passed but of course, couldn’t say that or tell anyone. Yes, no contact or minimal contact is best when you realize you have a narcissistic Mom.
Sounds great!
Just out of curiosity: in retrospect ,what has made you reengage with you morther after that year of no contact? What do you personally feel like gaining out of the relationship at present?
FYI: Myself I've got no contact with both parents (both cluster b) and am not interested in having them back any time soon.
I would love to see a video for teens who are recognizing BPD traits in their Mom and advice on how to cope with BPD parent. It's such a confusing issue for young adults.
I’m terrified to have kids. I don’t want to fail them and I don’t want them to suffer. My mom is narcissistic my father is antisocial.
this one.
Im not a professional... but the fact you are even aware of the behaviors suggests you wouldnt fail them.
I made a conscious decision not to have kids because i was always told I was like my father. Hes a filthy, parasitic, narcissistic maggot and after years of therapy I have discovered I am not. I regret not having kids. Just something else my disgusting parents took from me.
I have both cluster B parents. My mother seems to fall more into the borderline category and my father was very clearly strongly narcissistic. My father left when I was 2 years old and then me and my younger sister grew up with my single BPD mother. There was always incredibly high tension at home, a lot of conflict, a lot of drama, soaring emotions and a lot of rage, a lot of shouting. When I was small, the primary feeling I remember having was fear. After my mother's fits of rage, she would want to console and cuddle and pretend like it never happened. I remember this feeling of intense relief. Now everything's good again. Catastrophe's over. I imagine that growing up in a war has some similarities, only here the war is induced by your mother. She is the villain and the hero of the story simultaneously. And she is the one in power. Always.
I remember when I was 6, I had enough of the game and when she would try to console after a day of raging, I would just stand in the doorway and watch her. Make no move towards her. I think I kinda dissociated. This was unchartered territory. What would happen if i didn't do what she expected? I just stood there and shook my head. I think that's when I stopped loving her. I had to to save my sanity. Otherwise i think she would broken me and I would have developed full blown BPD myself. I'm quite sensitive too.
Thank you for being so understanding, Dr Sage. Nobody really talks about the children of borderline parents. Thank you too for making the power dynamics so clear. Everytime the BPD adult goes into a rage, the world is ending in the child's perception. A nightmare.
Edit *my father was narcssistic and my mum is the BPD one
Well said!
For us ADHD people: Dr Sage gets to the topic 9.5 minutes in. Start there.
I found that hard too. But I found that she DID get there, which is good :)
Thank you!
I’m screaming!!! I was struggling the first few moments 😂😂😂😂
Lmao stop 😂 I was "seeking" the entire video, douole tapping until I could get to the meat 😎
Thank you!
I'm 16 weeks pregnant and being pregnant and thinking about my own child is making it so crystal clear what the messed up dynamics are between me and my mother. When you spoke about enmeshment, that's exactly how I feel my mom is, but with everyone she considers a "loved one". She has like no boundaries between herself and her kids, her boyfriend, her best friends, her co-workers. It's like everyone is some kind of weird extension of herself (like MY kids, MY boyfriend, etc). Whereas I view myself and my loved ones as completely separate. There is me and there are these other individuals that I love and care deeply about, but I recognize that they are autonomous beings and make their own choices. Even thinking about my own soon to be child, I have thoughts like "I wonder what their personality will be like" or "I wonder what they'll be interested in" or "I'm excited to watch them grow up and learn how to do things on their own". I feel like a lot of my mom's thinking when it came to us was based in "I hope my children do xyz" and more trying to mold us into what she wanted instead of letting us just be ourselves.
What you're describing is exactly my experience. My mother sees me and my sister as extensions of herself, MY children. It goes like this with everything. Her view is the only right one because it's HERS. It's like she can't understand somehow, that there individual truths and individual experiences. It's really weird.
@@mandarinadreux9572I once told my mother that I wasn't an extension of her and she went from normal to pissed in two seconds!!
The PET syndrome is what you are talking about. It's when an adult considers other people, mostly the closest as individuals who follow them to the grocery store or to other amusements and don't see them as people, but more owned objects of entertainment.
I flip flop between wondering if my mom has BPD or NPD because she displays traits of both. Like wanting things to LOOK good. When I was going to school for teaching and had a handle on my finances, I was the kid making her proud. But now I'm struggling financially and my sister is doing really well in her business and so my sister is the perfect kid. I don't compare myself to others because I don't see a benefit to doing that, but I feel like my mom is constantly comparing me and my sister and it's so frustrating and exhausting because it's like she's purposely trying to make me feel bad about myself while simultaneously pitting my sister against me (especially when my mom actually does help me out financially and then my sister gets jealous because my om doesn't help her...even though my sister isn't struggling. Like I could be literally starving while my sister has thousands in the bank. My mom gives me $60 to get groceries and my sister will get jealous because my mom isn't giving her money too. The whole thing is so messed up and I'm glad I moved out years ago. My sister is displaying more and more NPD traits the older she gets and she still lives at home.)
We often times have comorbid traits and 1 of 5 people with BPD also have bipolar disorder which bipolar disorder can look like NPD
It's not about the bipolar part. BPD people have a true self and a false self. NPD people have only a false self. The BPD person cycles through her selfs in reaction to situations.
This video is amazing. I absolutely have the bond with my mother that you describe. It’s just such a relief to know that I’m not bad, I’m not blaming her, and I can make a path out of this terribly painful cycle.
I am so sorry you've been raised by a parent who struggles like this- it's definitely not easy and there is NO part of you that is bad lovey! And yes - there truly is a path out of the cycle. We might always hold some wounded parts - but we don't have to live in them. Sending love and healing:)
09:40 is where the differences actually start if you are wondering
Thnx!
Growing up with a mother with BPD and a father with NPD, I was the golden child while my sister was the scapegoat. Cutting contact with my mom was tough, but essential for my freedom specially as a man. My sister still struggles, but I've found going no contact to be the best and hardest decision I've made. It's tough, but prioritizing your mental health is worth it. You're not alone. Great video Kim thank you so much.
Grateful for this video, everything described is a mirror reflection of my mother and how trauma bonded I am. I have had several clarity moments when I KNEW I could never be my true self or ever be validated for anything I liked or felt. I’ve apologized for many things that weren’t my fault but my side never mattered or was heard because everyone believed her false self and the confusion and frustration of that betrayal is so painful. Though I know I’m so fucking strong and smart I find myself weak and trapped again because she promised she could help my fiancé and I save for a house…. Only for her to triple the rent before we were past state lines….
This is temporary I know but, right now…
Still in it
I hope you got out of that situation 🙏
the intro story about yourself was so generous of you. thank you for making these videos for us :)
I grew up the only child of a BPD type mother and NPD type father. This video really speaks to me and my experiences. It can be hard to find this kind of content - so much of it seems to be for the parents with this disorder, such that it doesn't validate the child's experiences for fear of offending the parents. I understand that my parents didn't mean to hurt me; thank you for getting that we don't need that explained! I'm excited to explore more of your content :)
me too, same story. I was and still am a golden scapegoat of this family because I'm the only child 😅
You're describing my life to me.
Since the birth of my son 4 years ago, my eyes opened even more and I went no contact with both of my parents. I'm really getting to be the best version of myself now. Big high five to anyone that's also hanging in there, even if it's one day at a time!
Every once in a while all the anger and trauma come rushing in, I’m unable to escape it, I watch videos about it and recognize this is what happened. But then I just get so anxious and detach myself from the whole idea so that I don’t have to change anything, it feels surreal. I constantly gaslight myself in the background as well, telling myself that I’m just delusional for thinking this etc. I guess I try to forget both for the fear of being ‘crazy’ and losing someone I love so much..
Thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart, from every cell of my body. This made me cry.
Thank you Dr Kim as always. I remember being 2 years old and asking my parents if we were good people or bad people. I was very concerned! Interesting to look back on that memory after watching this video.
I'm so sorry and I so understand. The splitting is hard for them, and hard for us, as we internalize it....I am so happy you're here and sending you strength and healing!!:)
Thank you for your response Dr Kim ❤️
Hello
I am so glad to have found you.
I’m the 62 y/o daughter of a violent abusive Narcissist. Combined with some other ‘stuff’ resulting in my CPTSD/BPD.
As a mother, I never verbally hurt, demeaned or consciously manipulated my 2 boys. I did sometimes hv anger but never towards them. Sadly, I have had to take both Sons to therapy in their early 30s. Never got to the nub of their issues ( probably because they didn’t want to hurt me). I wish I could identify the source of their wounds…
Thanks fr yr soothing voice tonality & illuminating content
❤from Australia 🇦🇺
I wonder if the experience of a borderline father would play out differently. It is hard to imagine a father wanting to be a child’s best friend, but not hard to imagine a child as the object of a father’s rage.
Yes I think that is likely as well. BPD can really run the spectrum - the research shows that men with BPD tend to struggle a lot more with aggressive and more anti-social type behaviors, and seems to be a big reason why many can end up being incarcerated. It's so heartbreaking to think that men are less likely to be taught about and allowed to have emotions, (historically), and then you combine that with the massive amount of childhood trauma so many people have - it seems like a bad recipe for trauma and genetics and culture to leave men with very little tools and access to support and resources...should they have something like BPD.
You are speaking into my soul!
My father was definitely NPD. I have never been able to work out my mother. I’ve always felt she has been emotionally manipulative with me, knowing just what to say to keep me close, loyal and obedient Her affection certainly was always conditional. I felt she was happy to cross my boundaries but kept me very much at arms length so I wouldn’t cross hers. She was the only source of emotional warmth in the family so I probably was always trying to get more attention from her. I find now at 52 and her at 82 she still thinks she can use emotional manipulation techniques to keep me onside and compliant (eg by being excessively polite, conscientious, ‘nice’, superficial, constant Pollyanna persona). But I rarely feel any real connection where I feel she treats me with any genuine respect or sense of being two equals. She definitely likes to maintain a position of superiority in the relationship.
Your mom was probably was/is probably a covert and/or lesser narcissist.
Mine too
My mom was some type of narcissist, it was extremely difficult to put all the pieces together...she was definitely not BPD. It was only after her death (very, very old) that I was able to set her aside, and not obsess about what I could have done better! Some of us forget that we are NOT to blame. To this day, now 8 years after her passing, I ask myself if I had understood her true self (false self) prior to her death, would I have confronted her with ALL of her EMOTIONAL NEGLIGENCE. It would have been helpful for my emotions to at least have a compassionate conversation about how she made me feel and how she totally f'd up my life. Yet, I know how very unconscious these people are...until the day they die. I'm not sure that heart felt conversation would have been understood! Or felt by someone with no real empathy. No, she wasn't that cold, as parents do soften around their edges in old age, unless they go into dementia, which she did not. Bottom line, sometimes there are no good solutions. Night times were my worst, since I could not get to sleep because of obsessing, playing scenarios over and over in my head. It took years to finally let go...and yet, it seems she will always be hovering around me, or my thoughts. Yet, emotionally she is finally out of my daily life and I'm probably as free of her as I will be...ever! sigh. lol. life is never what we expected! My heart goes out to everyone strong and courageous enough to be in the thick of parental/offspring delusions. The appropriate time for that discussion is not when they are on death's door. I do regret not being able to understand my very complex relationship with my mom with her years ago. If for no other reason than to prove to myself that I am no dope!
(So, OK, I took the long way around!). I know now, that I am no dope. Is it fear or empathy that gets in our way?
It is both probably - fear & empathy.
This is such great content. I have one of each and they're still together. It's such an intense dynamic and it's really hard to heal from the effects of both experiences
Me too. They make war on each other until I enter the room, then I become the favored target.
Wonderful video Dr. Kim! Your content is very helpful. Something I'm struggling with is the difference between enmeshment and cultural norms. For example, I know of people who fit the description of borderline, but they are from a culture or community where enmeshment like traits are the norm. For example, it's expected for a grown woman to live with their parents if they are not married, even if they are well into their 30s, and even if they are second or third generation born in America. The parent views it as normal but the adult child views it as stifling....not really being able to live the life they want but expected to fit into certain norms within a community.
This is such a good question, and one we need to talk more about. For so many reasons, different families and cultures operate out of history, trauma, etc - but it has been my experience that even if it's "normal in a home" it can still be wounding or stifling. I will say enmeshment can be a part of BPD for example - but the traits of BPD are a lot more about constant relational and emotional instability, often rage, identity issues, risk taking, mood instability, etc - so no matter where that is coming from, it can be really impactful on a child, for example. I think it takes some attempts at give and take around enmeshment - many times family will shift over time, other times - not so much or at all. Then, you have to sort out what will work for both for you, and within the family system, if that is a priority or norm. Really appreciate you being here and your question!:)
@@DrKimSage Thank you! I completely agree that even if something is "normal" it can still be harmful. Appreciate your content!
@@LO-bk4bv Thank you so much:)
What makes your presentations so profound & compelling is that you have gone thru this yourself.
I have done so much inner work over the last 9 years that I feel my brain is a bit fried.
Is that a thing?😅😵💫😱
Same here. I am exhausted from all the work I must do to heal. And the there’s always more stuff coming from the ones I cannot do no contact with.
Thank you and yes, it is common to feel burned out at times! Maybe take a break lovey!!?? :)
@@desiderata333 It is so hard when we can't escape some people and hold boundaries. Some just aren't going anywhere!!:)
Thank you! Would be so interested in a discussion about common issues experienced by only children raised by narcissistic parents,
Thank you for another wonderful & insightful video Dr Sage 🌼
Bless you sister.
I truly love and appreciate your honesty.
Because you have lived it and are working on it.
Makes you ral and the learning down to earth and very professional.
Prayers for you and your family.
Your business venture .
Your being of service my beautiful sister .
Beauty comes from the inside first .
You truly glow...
Stay strong and keep doing your work.
You're helping me and many others .
Amen
I definitely have a mix of both for an egg donor 😔 . Struggle is real. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. When I get into guilt mode, I look at my screenshots of what she said that finally made me open my eyes. Seriously, the person you trust/love honor the most is also the most toxic dangerous abusive person. I'm choosing ME and my baby girl here on out. Your Grandparent video was spot on too 😒 THANK YOU!
Yes I think the reason my mother is trying to pressure me to adopt my children is because my little sister her baby is moving out and I think my mom is freaking out and scrambling that she doesn't want to be left alone.
I have been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia months after being stuck with Mum because of covid and getting highly stressed from Mum which affected me for months.
It can be genetic, so perhaps she has it, too? There are genetic tests now, so if you can get your doctor to order one for you it may help determine if you have schizophrenia or are just reacting to your mother's issues.
I'm so sorry ❤ I hope you're doing well
Thank you thank you thank youuuuu❤ your words help me sooo much!!! I needed these distinctions and similarities. ( dam! I feel valued
I always see tons of videos about bpd or narcissistic parents, and plenty about mothers specifically, but so few about fathers specifically. As I understand it, fathers are more likely to have narcissistic personality disorder... I know I could definitely use some more father specific information
Ouch, l've been screwed over by the golden child, touched a nerve.
One of the early tools I used was meditation. It's important bto realize that even though we think life is a continuum, it is best to understand that we ALL have a PAST - PRESENT & FUTURE.
Eckhart Tolle taught this reality in his youtube videos nearly 20 years ago. We continue living in our past, especailly when we stay coonected to childlike emotions that cannot be resolved. Tolle believes that most people live for the past or the future. The reality is that we only have the NOW the PRESENT, since the past ig gone and only the foolish live for the future (filled with fantasies).
20 minutes a day will add a new twist to your life! If 20 mins is too long, try 5 minutes until you can handle it. Tolle has zillions of Followers - I prefer psychology, but the more options we all have the sooner we'll see results. Sorry to barge into someone else's channel! Just trying to help.
Get out of the new age quickly. This is not witchcraft but Satan crafted this so that you would not seek out the right only true Savior, Jesus.I was into the new age doctrine for 30 years and when I really started to seek out truth God took control and started to steer me into the right direction.
Meditation helped me tremendously with depression and I was able to have a fraction of second gap before I judge myself or anything in an automatic way. I soon got over with those darkest days.
My mother needs therapy, she even says so herself, but won't actually get it. She was diagnosed with "bipolar" by her GP about 10 years ago, took meds for a while, then decided it "didn't help" and stopped. I've been suspecting for a while that she may have NPD, but lately I've been thinking about BPD and how that also fits her way of being. Honestly I like thinking of my mom as having BPD rather than NPD, because while BPD is difficult to deal with it does seem that there's some kind of strategy for getting on the same page. Whereas with NPD it's kind of like no contact is the only option. My mom has done plenty of things that were damaging to me (and continues to from time to time), but I can so clearly see WHY she has this skewed way of thinking (from her past experiences) and I want so deeply to help her heal her own traumas the way I've been healing mine.
Her reactions are in a response to what? What does it seem like triggers her?
There's a couple of kids I care deeply for but I am not a parent of who have parents that tick these boxes 🙁
Long messages from me😂😆🤣
Venting and I'm true .
I'm so transparent,yet I'm human shouldn't be written at this time .
Lol extremely tired .
I'm driven by amazing people like you and this learned.
GN all prayer to everyone and especially everyone your helping .
Blessings and prayers for you big time .
Keep up the amazing positive smile it radiates positive energy.
Amen
Hi Dr Sage, your videos are so helpful. I do believe I’ve been raised by parents with narcissistic and possible borderline. Do you have a video that explains the difference between BPD and BPD traits and those causes and differences and how to know for sure? Such as between a parent and adult child who may have CPtsd and borderline traits? Thank you for what you do to help us understand.
You are so right about everything ,Thank you xxuk
For everyone in the comment below,
I've noticed that. Bpd and narcissist attract each other. I'm always reading one parent is one or the other. Just a thing I noticed.
I know a mom who raised a narcissist son. She was so cruel to her children, her first child is her favorite to punish. She is not an educated mom, I don't know if she finished her hi school, I think because of her lack of education made her so cruel. If they did something wrong, she whipped them as hard as she could especially to the first child. He said, his mom almost kill him every time he whipped him, and he admits he did something bad. He is like giving her mom a justification why she punished him. But his head is really whacked mentally. He has no confidence in himself. When he drink with some people, he is the one who will pay for it. Then he put everyone down by him talking alone of his knowledge and accomplishments. Everyone knows him already, so they just let go, but they leave him if he is too much. Sometimes, he looks for his gun and wants to kill everyone even his parents. Until now the mom acts as if she is the queen.
She should put her ego down, she should embrace her kids most especially the first one. She is still acting like a terror in the house. I think if she couldn't practice her terror acts, she thinks she will die. One time we went to see them, she was lying down, I thought she was asleep. So I opened the refrigerator to get something, she thought I was the grown up disabled child, she was so mad, saying some cursed at me. I was startled. She didn't look who was at the ref, she continued sleeping. She should changed her attitude Because her kids are grown up already and still afraid of her.
I guess that's how the first child felt, he even confided, he didn't felt any love from his mom, all he gets is punishment. His mom even though she is old and weak, she still yell at them. She should changed.
Wish I knew what my mom is. If my mom hears a new word like autism, adhd, bpd, bipolar. She has it. She lies about having cancer. Tell ppl my stepdad is gay. If i confront she tries to destroy my career or relationships. Or she hurts herself or suicidal threats.So were all scared of confrontation. What is that? I thought i had NPD because she told everyone. Then multiple phycologists and psychiatrists all diagnosed me with ADHD and PTSD. But I need to know what my mom is
There's a movie I'd like to recommend to you and your clients. "Seize the Day" with Robin Williams. Its the most accurate movie depicting this behavior and the consequences of having a parent with this disorder. It's ahead of it's time. Yes. The goal is to heal. But there was a line in this movie said very quickly I'd like to mention here. This is it. "Nerves brought on by Failure of the Will". Google the meaning of this. That grandoise self is too stubborn to crack. And what's meant by 'nerves", is the anxiety we experienced as the result of their stubborness. A stubborn will. A big brat, basically.
i have borderline mother and a narciissistic vather. What does that mean for me?
I am sorry as that can be quite challenging, depending on how your parents struggle, if they have support, if you do, etc. I can't say what it means for you, although I can say children with untreated parents with these disorders tend to have certain types of our own challenges. I have a list of books on my website that I recommend www.drkimsage.com/online-coursestools.html. and I do talk a lot about it here since I also had what you are describing in my own parents. But even more, I have spent years with patients with parents like yours so while I cannot give advice here, I will say that therapy, learning and holding healthy boundaries, books, etc can be life changing. Sending love and support💗
@@DrKimSage ❤
Very good video. My mom.... (BPD) needs to be aware and get treatment. I wish there was a way to tell her, but she is so scared of everything, of judgment. That emotional dumping she does... ... I did thirty years at healthy treatment. But I know I will walk away from her .... if she never gets help.
Very helpful. Thank you so much!❤
Thank you so much for this!
You are telling a story about my mom and my dad, haha (I’m not feeling good)
Wow what a great video .. thank you .
Thank you so much!:). And thank you for being here!
hi kim! did u end up with any mental disorders that u had to work thru? like ptsd etc?
Thank You! This is very valuable
Thank you and thank you so much for being here💗🙏
My father had narcissistic personality desorder (overt), and borderline personality desorder. He committed suicide due a psychosis, inducted by cocaine abuse when I was 13 years old. I'm 35 years old now. My mum is co-dependent and emotionally unavailable. I don't know if I truly forgive, probably in this Life, I never will. Even if I'm very empathetic, and I have a lot of guilt and regrets, I have PTSD, and from time to I display narcissistic grandiose thoughts. At some point, I thought I also was a narcissist, but fortunately I only got some moderate tendencies, which are mostly related also to a few borderline thoughts. I have a question, and I would be glad if you could answer it
Please. It's normal for a person raised by a narcissistic and borderline father to have from time to time narcissistic thoughts and behaviour? Also its normal to be attracted to drama and be drown to cluster B people? I would be really glad to hear your point of view💛
- Life is hard but we can rise up and create a better future for yourself. Thank you for your channel ❤
Hey I know you have done videos on Daniel Brown's Ideal Parent figure Protocol. I am a graduate student for Counseling and I just discovered this protocol and it's mind-blowing. Where did you get training on this protocol? I cannot find any official training on Daniel Brown's work. Secondly, do you have any recommendations on other protocols, techniques, modalities, etc that are equally as powerful as Daniel Brown's work regarding attachment disturbances? Thank you!!
Hi-yes -thank you so much for being here and hope you are enjoying your program! It's such an incredibly rewarding field:). Ok, so his book with David Elliot, really his textbook, "Attachment Disturbances in Adults.." is excellent and goes through the protocol. He also made a video on youtube about it and that is why I offered it as "an example of what we are doing using imagery.." the full protocol is meant to be done in sessions over time. I wanted to demonstrate the kinds of work we are doing, and there are a couple of great research studies using this protocol. I don't know if he offers it - but I know he has historically done trainings. I also did an online course with D. Brown on the attachmentproject.com - which is basically the textbook broken down too. I always recommend books on attachment to patients at the beginning of therapy to help them (although Attachment is "trending" lol now, which is great, finally). Let me think about other protocols, I am not a big one on "techniques" but I do use and teach and encourage guided imagery with patients a lot and now incorporating Poly vagal exercises and tools a lot! I love "insight timer" as an app for patients:). Good luck!!
Do BPD ppl lie a lot ? I have deep issues with trust and betrayal cause my mom lied so much about EVERYTHING. And they also do they have a golden children ? Cause my mom seems to try my brother better and she’s always says things like “it’s different with boys”
I do understand and appreciate what you intend to say. But saying that reciprocity should not be part of parenting is problematic in many ways. For instance can a true relation even exits without reciprocity? What happens to the formation of self without reciprocity? But i guess reciprocity can be understood differently en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology) - Kind Regards Jacob
“History is just one damn thing after another!” Sir Winston Churchill.
“How do you let go of a hot lump of coal? By simply dropping it.” Eckart Tolle.
“No one can take away your dignity until you give it to them.” Mrs. Rosevelt.
“How can the fate of one man, be in a fool’s hands?” Bob Dylan.
Okay… perhaps these are paraphrased a bit.
There's some really good information buried in here, but the beginning and framework are so long and rambling that finding those nuggets is tiresome. I just wish she would cut to the chase.
10 minutes excusing what? sick evil people ? bye