Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny." Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?" "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision." "That's great", said Little Johnny, "cos he'd be fucked if he needed glasses!"
Little Johnny comes home with a bad school report. Father: "Johnny, it's time for a big spanking!" Liitte Johnny: "good idea father, I know where the teacher lives!"
Little Johnny's sitting on a park bench eating candy bars. In fact, he's got 5 candy bars, and he eats one right after the other. A man walking towards the bench noticed this as he was approaching, and, alarmed, he tells Johnny "Young man, do you realize that eating candy like that could make you very unhealthy, and could even give you diabetes?" Little Johnny looks at the guy and says, defiantly, "My grandfather lived to be 100 years old." "By eating 5 candy bars at a time??" said the man. "No" said Johnny, "by minding his own fucking business!"
Here you go. Little boy walks into class late,teacher asks where were you? Little boy says,On top of Blue Berry Hill. Teacher says ,ok take your seat. Another little boy comes in late,teacher asks where were you? Little boy says on top of Blue Berry Hill.teacher says ,take your seat. Soon a little Girl comes in late,teacher says ,let me guess ,you were on top of Blue Berry Hill too? Little girl says No....I am Blue Berry Hill.
Heard this about ducks and court..blowing bubbles in the pond.. Oh hell I'll just write it out.. 3 ducks show up in court and first goes b4 the judge..Judge asks name and charge..duck sez duck- blowing bubbles in the pond. Judge sez get out of my court you're wasting my time. Same with second duck..duck duck- blowing bubbles in the pond.. Judge sez get out of my courtroom you're wasting my time. Judge sez to 3rd duck, I suppose you're duck duck duck?? And 3rd duck sez no I'm bubbles!
My favourite Little Johnny joke: A grade 2 teacher is trying to get her students to use 'grown-up' words. One Monday morning she asks what they did on the weekend. Most of the the kids put their hands up. "Sally.. what did you do?" Sally says, "We visited my nana." "That's great, Sally, but you should use the grown-up word, 'grandma'". " How about you, Billy?" Billy says, "We went for a ride on a choo-choo". "Very good, Billy, but the grown-up word for that is 'train'". "What about you, Johnny?" Johnny says, "I read a book." "That's wonderful Johnny! Reading is very good. What book did you read?" Johnny puffs out his chest and answers "Winnie the shit!"
@@KW-gb9cd Another one I particularly like. Little Johnny is late for school. The teacher asks him why he is late. He answers "Because of a family emergency. My grandfather got burnt." Teacher says, "Oh! Sorry to hear that. Is he going to be OK?" Johnny: "Hell no! They don't f**k around at the crematorium!"
The one little Johnny joke I remember is: momma can I lick the bowl? Momma can I lick the bowl? Momma can I lick the bowl? Oh shut up and flush it! (Born in the 40’s).
Little Johnny and little Suzy were arguing back and forth about, first of all, whose mom was the better cook. Then whose dad was stronger and so on. This went on for some time until it was little Johnny’s turn and he couldn’t think of anything… oh but then💡! So he pulls his pants down and points to his boyhood and says, “well, I have one of these and you don’t!” Then without even a pause, little Suzy pulls down her pants and points to her girlhood and says, “well, I have one of these and with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!” 😂
The Little Johnny jokes that sums up all others: One day, Little Johnny's mom could not go take him from the kindergarten, so his father went. He comes in and sees a room with the "Good Kids" sign. He comes there but the teacher says, "Oh, Little Johnny is not here, he's upstairs". His father goes one floor up to a room that has "Naughty kids" sign on the door. Somewhat disappointed, he comes in but the teacher there says: "Little Johnny is not here, he's upstairs". Another floor, and the sign on the door says: "Terrible kids". Same story; the father rushes up the stairs, and sees the door with the sign: "Little Johnny".
I got a Johnny tale: teacher was asking kids I have something in this bag and its a fruit with seeds Tommy answers a green apple no the teacher says but I like the way you think, its a strawberry said julie no but I like the way you think, , Johnny raises his hand and says I have something in my pocket that's hard and has a head on it, teacher says Johnny go to principal s office he says its a quarter but I like the way you think
Little Johnny gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. On his way back, he looks into his parents' bedroom and notices the bedsheets bouncing. "Whatcha doing?" Dad says, "Playing cards." Johnny asks, "Who's your partner?" Dad says, "Your mother." Johnny continues down the hallway and looks in his sister's bedroom. Again, he notices bouncing bedsheets. Johnny asks, "Whatcha doing?" Sister says, "Playing cards." Johnny asks, "Who's your partner?" Sister says, "My boyfriend." So, Johnny goes back to bed. Later on, Little Johnny's father gets up to use the bathroom, and peers into Johnny's room. He notices his bedsheets are bouncing. Dad asks, "What are you doing?" Little Johnny says, "Playing cards." Dad asks, "Who's your partner?" Little Johnny replies, "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand."
Teacher asks her kids "If you could have a handful of anything what would it be?" Jim replies "a handful of gold" when asks why he said "because if I sold it I could buy a corvette!" Billy answers with "I would have a handful of diamonds" when asked why he says "because if I sold them I could buy a ferrari!" Little Johnny answered next with "I would like a handful of pubic hair" the teacher is a little shocked and asks why he could possibly want that, to which Johnny replies.... ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️ "Because my sister only has a little strip and you should see the cars outside our house at the weekend!"
I think I wanna tell all the badass Little Johnny jokes that have come in on this comment thread! This one is probably my favorite since it has a little bit of a cringe factor!!!
The teacher askes her students to come to the next class with a phrase or story to learn a new word which is "contagious". The next day Susan is chosen and responds when someone with covid is too close to you, you can get it because it is contagious. The teacher replies good Susan, then askes Carl. Carl says when someone smiles, others smile, smiling is contagious. Not bad the teacher comments, now Johnny. Johnny replies.....yesterday my dad took me to a store, and when we passed a lady painting a big sign he said... she should use a bigger brush or it will take that cont-ages.
Hey thank you! I love your version of the joke better than mine actually, but had never heard it! You're a lot nicer than the rest of the correctors on here!! Giggle. You take care. ❤️
Guys working next door little Johnny is hanging around and everything the guy picks up Johnny says my dad has two of those finally the guy is taking a pass and Johnny walk up the guy shakes it at him and says I bet your daddy doesn't have two of these Johnny replied no but he has one that will make two of those
Teacher asked the kids what the most exciting thing that happened during summer vacation when it was little Johnny's turn he says my brother was in Vietnam and got shot in the @ss the teacher corrected him and said the word is recktum Johnny replied recktum chit it killed him. RIP Richard Pryor I had to do some spelling changes so RUclips let me post this
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny." Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cos he'd be fucked if he needed glasses!"
Little Johnny comes home with a bad school report. Father: "Johnny, it's time for a big spanking!" Liitte Johnny: "good idea father, I know where the teacher lives!"
Little Johnny's sitting on a park bench eating candy bars. In fact, he's got 5 candy bars, and he eats one right after the other. A man walking towards the bench noticed this as he was approaching, and, alarmed, he tells Johnny "Young man, do you realize that eating candy like that could make you very unhealthy, and could even give you diabetes?" Little Johnny looks at the guy and says, defiantly, "My grandfather lived to be 100 years old." "By eating 5 candy bars at a time??" said the man. "No" said Johnny, "by minding his own fucking business!"
Way better than hers
Here you go.
Little boy walks into class late,teacher asks where were you? Little boy says,On top of Blue Berry Hill.
Teacher says ,ok take your seat.
Another little boy comes in late,teacher asks where were you? Little boy says on top of Blue Berry Hill.teacher says ,take your seat.
Soon a little Girl comes in late,teacher says ,let me guess ,you were on top of Blue Berry Hill too?
Little girl says No....I am Blue Berry Hill.
Heard this about ducks and court..blowing bubbles in the pond..
Oh hell I'll just write it out..
3 ducks show up in court and first goes b4 the judge..Judge asks name and charge..duck sez duck- blowing bubbles in the pond. Judge sez get out of my court you're wasting my time.
Same with second duck..duck duck- blowing bubbles in the pond.. Judge sez get out of my courtroom you're wasting my time. Judge sez to 3rd duck, I suppose you're duck duck duck?? And 3rd duck sez no I'm bubbles!
My favourite Little Johnny joke:
A grade 2 teacher is trying to get her students to use 'grown-up' words.
One Monday morning she asks what they did on the weekend.
Most of the the kids put their hands up.
"Sally.. what did you do?"
Sally says, "We visited my nana."
"That's great, Sally, but you should use the grown-up word, 'grandma'".
" How about you, Billy?"
Billy says, "We went for a ride on a choo-choo".
"Very good, Billy, but the grown-up word for that is 'train'".
"What about you, Johnny?"
Johnny says, "I read a book."
"That's wonderful Johnny! Reading is very good. What book did you read?"
Johnny puffs out his chest and answers "Winnie the shit!"
That joke is far better than the one in the video.
@@KW-gb9cd Another one I particularly like.
Little Johnny is late for school. The teacher asks him why he is late.
He answers "Because of a family emergency. My grandfather got burnt."
Teacher says, "Oh! Sorry to hear that. Is he going to be OK?"
Johnny: "Hell no! They don't f**k around at the crematorium!"
The one little Johnny joke I remember is: momma can I lick the bowl? Momma can I lick the bowl? Momma can I lick the bowl? Oh shut up and flush it! (Born in the 40’s).
😆😆
That's more of a Little Willie. ("Mom" cried L.W., "the kids at school call me a werewolf,". "Shut up and go comb your face.")
Little Johnny and little Suzy were arguing back and forth about, first of all, whose mom was the better cook. Then whose dad was stronger and so on. This went on for some time until it was little Johnny’s turn and he couldn’t think of anything… oh but then💡! So he pulls his pants down and points to his boyhood and says, “well, I have one of these and you don’t!” Then without even a pause, little Suzy pulls down her pants and points to her girlhood and says, “well, I have one of these and with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!” 😂
That has a grain of truth to it.
Can I get an Amen?
Good job. That’s one of my favorite jokes. I used to tell it all the time.
Ha! Thank you! I am kinda long winded. It is what it is. Have a magnificent day, you!
@@KarrahYoungblood you’re not long winded. That’s how the joke is told. It was good to hear an old joke come back to life 😂
LOVE LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES!!!!!!
The Little Johnny jokes that sums up all others:
One day, Little Johnny's mom could not go take him from the kindergarten, so his father went. He comes in and sees a room with the "Good Kids" sign. He comes there but the teacher says, "Oh, Little Johnny is not here, he's upstairs". His father goes one floor up to a room that has "Naughty kids" sign on the door. Somewhat disappointed, he comes in but the teacher there says: "Little Johnny is not here, he's upstairs". Another floor, and the sign on the door says: "Terrible kids". Same story; the father rushes up the stairs, and sees the door with the sign: "Little Johnny".
I got a Johnny tale: teacher was asking kids I have something in this bag and its a fruit with seeds Tommy answers a green apple no the teacher says but I like the way you think, its a strawberry said julie no but I like the way you think, , Johnny raises his hand and says I have something in my pocket that's hard and has a head on it, teacher says Johnny go to principal s office he says its a quarter but I like the way you think
I hope people watch my Little Johnny joke just so they can see this comment 😂. Love it ❤️
Heard a version of this b4..
Good one
The teacher know all about little dirty Johnny!
Little Johnny gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. On his way back, he looks into his parents' bedroom and notices the bedsheets bouncing. "Whatcha doing?" Dad says, "Playing cards." Johnny asks, "Who's your partner?" Dad says, "Your mother."
Johnny continues down the hallway and looks in his sister's bedroom. Again, he notices bouncing bedsheets. Johnny asks, "Whatcha doing?" Sister says, "Playing cards." Johnny asks, "Who's your partner?" Sister says, "My boyfriend." So, Johnny goes back to bed.
Later on, Little Johnny's father gets up to use the bathroom, and peers into Johnny's room. He notices his bedsheets are bouncing. Dad asks, "What are you doing?" Little Johnny says, "Playing cards." Dad asks, "Who's your partner?" Little Johnny replies, "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand."
Teacher asks her kids "If you could have a handful of anything what would it be?"
Jim replies "a handful of gold" when asks why he said "because if I sold it I could buy a corvette!"
Billy answers with "I would have a handful of diamonds" when asked why he says "because if I sold them I could buy a ferrari!"
Little Johnny answered next with "I would like a handful of pubic hair" the teacher is a little shocked and asks why he could possibly want that, to which Johnny replies.... ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️
"Because my sister only has a little strip and you should see the cars outside our house at the weekend!"
Oh my gosh that’s the best 😂😂
_Public_ hair???
@@Milesco thank you for pointing that out, sometimes auto spell can be a real pain.
@@chipsthedog1 : Yer welcome! 😁
I think I wanna tell all the badass Little Johnny jokes that have come in on this comment thread! This one is probably my favorite since it has a little bit of a cringe factor!!!
I heard it differently. When little Johnny gave the word for "R" little Johnny said "Rat, a big f&*#ing rat."
The teacher askes her students to come to the next class with a phrase or story to learn a new word which is "contagious". The next day Susan is chosen and responds when someone with covid is too close to you, you can get it because it is contagious. The teacher replies good Susan, then askes Carl. Carl says when someone smiles, others smile, smiling is contagious. Not bad the teacher comments, now Johnny. Johnny replies.....yesterday my dad took me to a store, and when we passed a lady painting a big sign he said... she should use a bigger brush or it will take that cont-ages.
Thank you very much good joke you have a nice day
You are adorable Karrah
A keeper!
momas on the bottom daddys on top sisters in the corner saying give it to her pop
Sorry, fell asleep. How did it end?
Is that what your girlfriend says?
@@KarrahYoungblood no, but my wife did. Hahaha
@@valentingarcia6582 ha!! Dammit I almost said wife!!! Hope the rest of your day is super!! Hope your wife’s day is great as well 😁
That joke was about as funny as the day grappas wooden leg caught on fire
Sorry about your grandfather's accident? Send him my best. 😘
Super.😀
My favorite joke. I finish it with: "Rat...a big fucking rat with a dick this long." as he holds out his hands. Thanks for the laugh, take care.
Hey thank you! I love your version of the joke better than mine actually, but had never heard it! You're a lot nicer than the rest of the correctors on here!! Giggle. You take care. ❤️
Well done and cool hair
Thanks! I have cut and colored it myself forever, so I will take that compliment!
Can't believe RUclips won't let me tell my little Johnny joke but they let you post this video
🤷🏽♀️
Guys working next door little Johnny is hanging around and everything the guy picks up Johnny says my dad has two of those finally the guy is taking a pass and Johnny walk up the guy shakes it at him and says I bet your daddy doesn't have two of these Johnny replied no but he has one that will make two of those
I don't get it.
@@michaelpalmieri7335 Read it as "taking a piss"
Teacher asked the kids what the most exciting thing that happened during summer vacation when it was little Johnny's turn he says my brother was in Vietnam and got shot in the @ss the teacher corrected him and said the word is recktum Johnny replied recktum chit it killed him.
RIP Richard Pryor
I had to do some spelling changes so RUclips let me post this
It's all in her lack of delivery. She really shouldn't quit her day job!
That was great
You're great, Lucas Smith!! And don't you ever forget that ya kind stranger!!
As funny as the joke was, it was doubly worth it to see the beautiful Karrah.
Awww thank you!!
That was a good one.
i can hear what you say...only i heard like someone chewing a mest
SO DAMN HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The subject of these jokes is not
Little Johnny, his name is
Dirty Little Ermie.
!
Is Dirty Little Ernie really a thing? I have never heard of it! Where are you from? Is it a regional thing? Fascinating.
I know the best little Johnny joke how do I send a video?
Really sorry about this; not the best lil johnny joke but certainly the oldest.
Not even close to the best little Jonny joke
Heard better.
The joke wasn’t even funny and her telling it made it worse
Well you sound lovely 😊
You missed on both accounts. It’s not funny and you can’t tell it well anyway.
Aww you are so sweet to insult a stranger on RUclips!!!
@@KarrahYoungblood ignore miserable people. I loved the joke and the way you told it
@@femanvate Aww thank you! I will gladly take your advice!!! ❤️ Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Why waste time teling us you can't tell the joke?
Because it pisses off the twat waffles.
@@KarrahYoungblood BOOOOOM! Sick burn! 👏
No one cares mate
You cared enough to comment 🥰