Great content Michelle. Getting to see the red flags sooner rather than later these days. Oftentimes the behaviour gets worse over time because it's been so subtle.
This woman friend got abusive by slamming my car door because I didn't stop for errands. She depended on me to think for her . They will deny they didn't.do.anything wrong. I hate her to this day. I'm happy she is no longer a part of my life
The first thing I noticed about this guy was that he blamed me for everything that went wrong in their lives. He had no empathy and when he talked to me in on the phone, he never let me say anything...he just talked about himself and his issues on and on. One time I wanted to see how long he would talk about himself and he lasted 4 hours and then I couldn't take it anymore. Further, he would go through my drawers and things all the time. It was so weird...I should have asked him what he was looking for? abuse, abuse, abuse. "Just do what I tell ya", "Just remember I. am the boss". "why can't you read my mind?" sickening, I was never good enough and it was all about him...
Wow all of them...... First relationship ever at 29, with a man who's 53 with a 13 year old ....... Always being told and I quote "my perception is off"
Relationship is 70/50. Women do 70 and men 50 in a relationship. Because men don’t do ironing, or washing clothes, cooking etc. that’s women part. Healthy relationship means showing respect each other, respecting their boundaries, helping your spouse etc. And what your husband, wife needs. For example your husband play video games, you have to respect his free space. It goes same to men who give free space to their wife. It’s simple as that. That’s a healthy relationship. It’s not about being controlling, abusive, manipulating, belittle etc. Thanks for the video.
I honestly can say I have done some of these in the past and I have been doing as much as I can to better myself in every aspect of my life. What gets me is because of the work I am doing to better myself I am noticing the toxic aspects in my spouse and in multiple ways she has hit every check point which scars me. 😢
@@rcracer37strike yeah when we get better it’s typically to be more aware of toxic behavior in others. Doing our part can make a difference along with having realistic expectations.
This is a work situation, wondering if I’m correct in identifying it as gaslighting if anyone reading can offer their opinion I’d be grateful. I’m two months into a new job and today asked a colleague if the black matt out the front is ours, he said no that’s the butchers and then says u asked me that yesterday. Which I know dam well I never asked him that yesterday. It does still for me plant a seed of doubt because I grew up learning to deeply doubt myself.
It is hard when someone challenges us - gaslighting is when someone purposely discounts your opinion with the intention of creating self-doubt. This doesn't sound purposeful but time will tell if he is trying to gaslight you because if so, it will likely happen again.
@@MichelleFarrismft Thanks Michelle I appreciate ur response and the knowledge ur sharing with ur videos helping to equip me with more awareness, understanding myself and others more. There has been a few things I’ve let slide, made allowances for and given the benefit of the doubt. I didn’t express these things to him but I have picked up on some more subtle little instances. He has also offloaded one of his assigned jobs on to me saying to me a week after I started that that is my responsibility. A month or so down the track I looked at his job list ( I’d only ever bothered to look at my own previously) and noted it was actually on his list, so asked him the question as to why he has me doing said job, he said that I should have looked at the his list when I started and that him and the boss decided it would go onto my work load, I asked the boss if they had both decided that and she said no, so caught him out in a untruth there. It didn’t sit right with me how he went about it, that he’s more than okay with offloading what he doesn’t want to do onto me and then make out I’m in the wrong because I didn’t look at his jobs list earlier. But yeah I’m pushing back a little and standing my ground (which is uncharted waters for me and quite scary, but I’m doing it anyway 😁). I’ll see how it plays out. Learning to trust myself after being programmed to never trust myself is a challenge in itself. Looking back I do feel he’s been testing me the whole time to see what he can get away with.
Yeah sometimes people don’t like it but it’s really your decision to make -especially if the relationship is toxic, you need to consider what YOU need first ( including your safety ).
Yehey! It's my first time to experience that someone's replying in my comment. No problem ma'am. Looking forward for your more educational videos. Thanks so much.
Great content Michelle. Getting to see the red flags sooner rather than later these days. Oftentimes the behaviour gets worse over time because it's been so subtle.
Absolutely Sue! All that hard work you’ve done has paid off!
This woman friend got abusive by slamming my car door because I didn't stop for errands. She depended on me to think for her . They will deny they didn't.do.anything wrong. I hate her to this day. I'm happy she is no longer a part of my life
It sounds like you have had your share of toxic people. That would be an interesting thing to journal about.
Yes, it would, thank you Michelle
The first thing I noticed about this guy was that he blamed me for everything that went wrong in their lives. He had no empathy and when he talked to me in on the phone, he never let me say anything...he just talked about himself and his issues on and on. One time I wanted to see how long he would talk about himself and he lasted 4 hours and then I couldn't take it anymore. Further, he would go through my drawers and things all the time. It was so weird...I should have asked him what he was looking for? abuse, abuse, abuse. "Just do what I tell ya", "Just remember I. am the boss". "why can't you read my mind?" sickening, I was never good enough and it was all about him...
Yeah those are BIG red flags, I'm so glad you were able to notice them.
Thank you Michelle!
Thank YOU for watching!
Wow all of them...... First relationship ever at 29, with a man who's 53 with a 13 year old ....... Always being told and I quote "my perception is off"
Ugh! Yeah that sounds like it could be gaslighting. Trusting ourselves and own perceptions is key!
Thank you Michelle
Thanks for being here.
I relate to being gaslighted
Yeah that's a big one - thanks for watching. Also had a video on gaslighting yourself.ruclips.net/video/12wbCUceHI0/видео.html
Relationship is 70/50. Women do 70 and men 50 in a relationship. Because men don’t do ironing, or washing clothes, cooking etc. that’s women part. Healthy relationship means showing respect each other, respecting their boundaries, helping your spouse etc. And what your husband, wife needs. For example your husband play video games, you have to respect his free space. It goes same to men who give free space to their wife. It’s simple as that. That’s a healthy relationship. It’s not about being controlling, abusive, manipulating, belittle etc. Thanks for the video.
Thanks KT for watching!
Yes
You’re in the right place! I love that you are identifying!
Great reading this 👏
Thank you Louise! So glad you found me :)
This is like family of origin
@@created4passion442 thanks for watching!
Yes
Thank you - you're in the right place!
I honestly can say I have done some of these in the past and I have been doing as much as I can to better myself in every aspect of my life. What gets me is because of the work I am doing to better myself I am noticing the toxic aspects in my spouse and in multiple ways she has hit every check point which scars me. 😢
@@rcracer37strike yeah when we get better it’s typically to be more aware of toxic behavior in others. Doing our part can make a difference along with having realistic expectations.
This is a work situation, wondering if I’m correct in identifying it as gaslighting if anyone reading can offer their opinion I’d be grateful.
I’m two months into a new job and today asked a colleague if the black matt out the front is ours, he said no that’s the butchers and then says u asked me that yesterday. Which I know dam well I never asked him that yesterday. It does still for me plant a seed of doubt because I grew up learning to deeply doubt myself.
It is hard when someone challenges us - gaslighting is when someone purposely discounts your opinion with the intention of creating self-doubt. This doesn't sound purposeful but time will tell if he is trying to gaslight you because if so, it will likely happen again.
@@MichelleFarrismft Thanks Michelle I appreciate ur response and the knowledge ur sharing with ur videos helping to equip me with more awareness, understanding myself and others more.
There has been a few things I’ve let slide, made allowances for and given the benefit of the doubt. I didn’t express these things to him but I have picked up on some more subtle little instances.
He has also offloaded one of his assigned jobs on to me saying to me a week after I started that that is my responsibility. A month or so down the track I looked at his job list ( I’d only ever bothered to look at my own previously) and noted it was actually on his list, so asked him the question as to why he has me doing said job, he said that I should have looked at the his list when I started and that him and the boss decided it would go onto my work load, I asked the boss if they had both decided that and she said no, so caught him out in a untruth there. It didn’t sit right with me how he went about it, that he’s more than okay with offloading what he doesn’t want to do onto me and then make out I’m in the wrong because I didn’t look at his jobs list earlier. But yeah I’m pushing back a little and standing my ground (which is uncharted waters for me and quite scary, but I’m doing it anyway 😁). I’ll see how it plays out. Learning to trust myself after being programmed to never trust myself is a challenge in itself. Looking back I do feel he’s been testing me the whole time to see what he can get away with.
What if he doesn’t want me seeking therapy?
Yeah sometimes people don’t like it but it’s really your decision to make -especially if the relationship is toxic, you need to consider what YOU need first ( including your safety ).
What if some of these things you spoke about , I feel about your child?
I would consider getting some counseling.
Yes 😢
Thanks Kingsley for watching!
@@MichelleFarrismft don’t mention. I am rather to thank you for helping us. 😇🙏🏿
@@kingsleyocansey2594 I’m happy to help!
Hello ma'am.
Hello! Thanks for watching!
Yehey! It's my first time to experience that someone's replying in my comment. No problem ma'am. Looking forward for your more educational videos. Thanks so much.
@@MpMp-cv5rh oh how lovely! Welcome to my channel! I hope you find my content helpful!
@@MpMp-cv5rh oh how lovely! Welcome to my channel! I hope you find my content helpful!
👍
Thanks Trisha!