Why Japanese Are Lonely [ENG CC]
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- Опубликовано: 1 авг 2024
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■Chapters:
0:00 Intro/being at a net cafe
2:27 孤独死 Kodokushi (lonely death)
5:53 Rise of loneliness among young people
8:13 Hanako's experience
9:50 Kalie's experience
11:05 Mental heath issues in Japan
12:46 How Japan has changed
13:49 The solutions
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It think it's kinda hard to socialize when there's a "don't bother anyone" mentality going around Japan.. at least, that's what I think.. I always watched drama anime, or read manga and most of them emphasize the importance of companionship which is really hard to get in reality. Well good luck to all loners out there find ways to be happy.. much easier said than done tho so stay tough
This is why I think more people need to break that mold. I think foreigners have that advantage to break that social norm of not bothering people. Bother them! Shake things up, push people loose from their comfort zone and yours! Whatever happens would be more interesting than if nothing happened!!!
@@thathandsomedevil0828 i hope you are right, it hurts to passively go agaisnt the grain. I imagine it to be more agitating in the extent of conformity I have belive exists in Japanese culture.
@TravelerPat 💯% my dude. 😁👍
@@melelconquistador human beings are like dice my friend we have to roll. I forget who said that but I found it interesting.
Remember that Bruce Lee said something about being like water. Water is flexible it goes places, flows here, flows there, flows where ever there is space or a path. But at the same time if you pour water into a cup, the water conforms to that cup and becomes one with it. The same goes if you pour water into anything static; the water becomes static, it becomes that thing. You can choose to be one or the other. I chose to be like flowing water most of the time, I flow where there is a path to flow but there are some times where I chose to be static also. It all depends on the situation and what you really want and how you plan to get what you want because we are all pursuing happiness.
As such Be like water, my friend. If you must flow then do that, if you must remain static then do that also. You have to be flexible in how you approach things, take and do what is useful to you and abandon what isn't. If you follow the way the Japanese mostly do things then you will be as most Japanese are. So if the fear of talking to people for fear of bothering them makes you static, you can choose to remain static or you can choose to flow it's all up to you in the end, you get to decide how you roll. Again, be like water, my friend; Decide when to flow. Also remember to be like a dice and never forget to roll. ;)
Besides, Nobita mentioned that one of the best ways to form friendships in Japan is to engage in hobbies and events that people partake in so if the Japanese tatemae the fuq out of you with direct social interactions, you can then roll into every hobby and event you can find and flow through it all to reach the people you want to reach. A lesson in flexibility. ;)
The stories portrayed in anime and manga represent the lives many Japanese wish they could have. Meaning they're the complete opposite of actual reality.
Sometimes loneliness is not just a living condition situation.
You could live at home with your parents & siblings yet you’ll still feel lonely.
Feeling loneliness is about what you feel inside, about whether of not you feel like you have meaningful connection in life, about whether or not you feel like you have purpose in life.
You're right.
Yeah, it's true
Absolutely agree.
Loneliness caused by emotional neglect
@Kingdom House Ivory tower rhetoric.
When I arrived in Japan the first reactions I had from my Japanese host families were that they didn't want omiyage because it's mendoukusai (a burden) because they have in return to give back to me then I give back to them etc and it's never ending. They wanted to keep things simple. Giving an omiyage is a poisonous gift because people have to be bothered and it creates a bond people don't necessarily want to have. Moreover it can become costly so people who are already struggling with money don't want to engage in that type of things. That's surely a big difference with what we are taught as foreigners about Japanese manners to adopt. Theory vs reality.
Good to know, noted.
Us Chinese are the same way. We only give gifts every year to people who we are closest to and sometimes the circle of social network shrinks over time.
@sen touji That is a sad family indeed living like that. How old is the child? Clearly he/she doesn't get as much love as he/she needs 🙁
Us humans need to interact, socialize among each other to maintain mental health. Loneliness, depression is very toxic leading to self destruction within.
Connection is important and it doesn’t matter if you’re more introverted or extroverted. Not just for entertainment but there’re also times you need an outlet to get out of your own mind. Regardless of who it is it’s good to have a community to rely on. Sometimes you just need to vent to get things off your chest.
It's why we talk to ourselves as a self-defence mechanism
I personally use gaming as my outlet, more so before I decided to have a few select friends...but I rarely if ever feel alone or lonely since I find that most people just suck anyways and aren't worth my time. Communities are a waste of time, when I get asked about my neighbors at work the next time...it's going to be I don't know them and I don't want to know them or care about them.
True it something that is essential for us humans I may say it essential as water
Interesting thought. There is a personality trait, Highly Sensitive People (HSP) and these people (myself included) are incredibly sensitive to all sorts of stimuli (noise, sounds, light, etc.). For me to be healthy, I sometimes need a lot of time alone, I need to be alone, I need a break from noise, sounds, lights, everything.
@@Maidaseu, agreed. I thought I was out of my mind because I always talk to myself for years now but then I guess it’s better than talking to fake people.
I hope it's not too brash to say, but I wonder if the Hikkikomori phenomena was just a start to more broad isolation issue leading to things like middle-aged Kodokushi. Your friend talking about needing time to create true, lasting friendships hit really hard. I just wish people in Japan had more time to themselves to do things like foster deeper friendships, find hobbies, etc.
13:20 OP! Didn't expect that!
May i ask:
13:28 was that in Tokyo or other smaller cities?
Also I'm curious to what other non-western foreigners' experience with their neighbors are. For example do Japanese treat Asian foreigners more kindly?
@@PhazeyBlur I doubt it. There are about a million Japanese Koreans including Permanent residents in Japan but they are hardly accepted into Japanese society. Other ethnic groups are more or less the same such as Japanese Chinese, Japanese Brazilians and/or Japanese Peruvians.
Hello gaijin goombah i was wondering can you talk about stuff like this on your channel, and why you leave Japan?
I think it would be more fair to say that Hikkikomori are a symptom of a larger, deeper problem, rather than the beginning of it.
The constant push for people to be long-time workers certainly doesn't help with time availability either - and there's a good chance that if you worked incredibly long hours when you were young, then you're missing that essential social experience as time moves on. There's an issue of that even in schools too - even being in extra-curricular clubs doesn't always count due to a lot of clubs functioning almost like an extension of school, and school days generally being longer (than in the west) anyway. You're even expected to spend so much time studying and doing homework, which actual studies have proven such things really don't work, because it's enforcing burnout and not allowing for social time. The pressure to be the 'perfect worker' is just... quite frankly ridiculous. It's a continuous reinforcement of negativity, and all it does is grow.
Spiritual pain hurts more than physical pain.
"To me personally, loneliness has been more damaging than covid. (...) And I just cannot get rid of this loneliness."
I can relate completely....
I feel the same Lobo💜
I can't speak about living there, but visiting Japan alone is great. People in my country (USA) think I'm weird for traveling alone; but I suppose Japanese people wouldn't normally be rude enough to comment on that anyway. But I can eat out alone, which restaurants here (other than fast food) absolutely hate. I hope Japan can solve this loneliness problem without losing that.
JP fast food is great, they actually clean their machines unlike the McD in the US. Plus the beef is healthier.
the problem is JP is the perfect utopia of people sacrificing for the 'greater good' , for their community. There's a lot of needless sacrifice and wasting of time/resources, customer service is garbage as well sometimes.
being rude in commenting asomething? its having an opinion
I've got friends/family who never left their hometown and think I'm weird for traveling alone.
I can relate. Definitely growing apart from family and friends......In my case I stopped talking to lots of people because I got tire of being the target for humiliation. I grew up around people that enjoy humiliating me.
It's better to stay alone than letting others keep bullying you without concern.
Yeah man, dude, stay away from toxic folk, find people who are cool that will respect and treat you well.
@@thathandsomedevil0828 thanks man
That sucks balls. TBH you have to uproot yourself and leave. I was a social outcast in high school but things were better after I started working in another city.
As the comments earlier mentioned said, there are like-minded people out there, you just need to look. Seriously, never give up on expressing who you are yourself as a person! Because that's what makes you you. I pray luck comes to you to find your little community of like-minded people and leave the people who look down on you.
I never been more lonely in my life than when I lived in Tokyo for a couple of years for work as a Japanese American man.
I speak Japanese fluently and never had issues making friends, but oh man, it was so difficult outside of work/expat communities to make new friends with Japanese people my age.
Like the video says, the ever increasing amount of people living online, as well as Japan being way behind on mental health issues are the root causes I think.
I returned back to the US where things are back to normal for me, but even here I fear the youths are heading where Japan is at now due to spending far too much time glues to their phones as opposed to real life interactions.
Or maybe Im just a grumpy older millenial man.
Japan and the US arent the only countries in the world, time for you to travel.
I'm a millennial and i've noticed the same thing happening here in Europe. It's way harder to meet strangers, especially young people and talk with them than a few years ago.
I saw in another video, not sure was it Nobita's, that it is difficult to make friends in Japan outside of your "group", which would be either your school or company. Is this exactly what you meant? I guess when people are used to just get friends from work, many even find their wife/husband from work, it is difficult to change. In the west there are many kinds of hobbies you can find friends in, like cooking class, dancing class, horse riding, do those exist in Japan? Any experience about them?
You are right💯
you are very right on your point actually, Japan is the outlook where modern society nowadays will went into in the future, but the actual root causes are why the mental health issues rose day by day despite Japan are progressing towards modernity nor living in it, the answer is actually pretty simple, the system nowadays derive us away from our humane values and our true purpose in this life, and i dare say its the same anywhere else, even in the USA of which is worst since it is pegged by liberty, if there isnt something to peg for besides human decided standards in society of which are according to whims and desires, the problems will just escalate, no one will be able to fix it
When it comes to faking relationships as the girl mentioned in the beginning, the Japanese are the smooth champions in it. The 本音・建て前 concept has become a deep rooted curse into Japanese society. Finding people who will be their true self is pretty rare, yet these people are still there, but quite hard to find. Most people are rather being busy with work than enjoying life, looking for love or just making new friends. It seems like most of my generation know that they're lonely. But instead of solving the problem they're avoiding it, by overwork and 過労死
In the end, people are killing themselves mentally!! 😕
I wonder, does this problem also happen in smaller towns and villages? 🤔
I gotta agree that after awhile I did notice how Japanese speech itself can influence the way the Japanese talk. So much hidden nuances and little rules you need to watch out for when communicating in society. English on the other hand has fewer differences between formal and informal tones and the workplace doesn't nitpick on that(in most cases). In Asia countries workplace hierarchy can really suck. But yeah if you're repressed down to your language it can make people really withdrawn and afraid to speak out.
I sometimes feel more lonely in a large group of people than I do when I am actually alone.
Yeah it is hard specially if you don't know anyone or can't stick to one person
Being surrounded by people doesn't mean your communicating
You may have social anxiety. Or you are an introvert who needs to find ways to connect with people. Try sports, hobbies etc. There is always a group of people that will instantaneously click with you, just have to learn to be open about it. If it is too hard for you, find a therapist (in special from the cognitive school).
Yeah I think it because of a lack of connection with everyone around you everyone to you is a video game NPC character but in real life
Introvert spotted. ;)
Especially as a single person it is all too easy to feel isolated.
Oof. I don't know why but hearing about The Loneliness Minister hit really hard. It sounds dystopian. And it hit harder that people don't think he's been able to help very much.
I really wanna get in touch with these lonely people......
Same, really
comon lol, if they were japanese dudes no one would care
Whenever I watch a video of Nobita's about social issues in Japan, I always feel the urge to want to go and help. I always think about what could be done by me or society as a whole.
Hopefully they won't push you away like most japanese folks do with foreigners.
Unfortunately, i think people in Japan are not opened to others, especially foreigners. So, it will be very very hard. At least, it's based on my experience
This video made me so sad. I especially feel for your friend. She's only 26 and already finds it hard to make genuine connections. I may be off the mark, but I always thought that the loneliness epidemic in Japan was due to all the social pressures. I'm from the US, and while we don't have the same kind of pressures, there are pressures to be a certain way, e.g. outgoing, friendly, extroverted, talkative. If you don't fit this mold, it can be very exhausting to socialize, so much to the point where I would often rather be alone even though I don't want to be.
I see Japan having same issues of knowing how to 'play the game' in the world of adults when it comes to mingling and 'being a part' of a social circle or clique in school (or workplace).
The only difference is, in JP you kinda don't have a choice but play along the socializing game and being fake happy and fake polite.
In the US, you don't Have to play along, and people will leave you alone, and you can still be happy living your own life.
In the US, those who are liberal are more likely to crave for social interaction. It's stupidly easy to tell on Facebook when the most outspoken liberals from my list of friends I've added over the years, end up with 2,000 friends at minimum and upwards toward 5 to 8k.
those who are more independent/conservative keep to themselves and look for quality over quantity.
It made me sad too. I thought about all the people who want to make friends if only they could get together with each other. I live in the US too and I find unless you make friends at work or maybe at church,alot of people have an attitude of “I have enough friends”.
One thing that contributes to adult loneliness is how our lives are ordered due to society. People in the US are generally stressed, overworked, and overscheduled. When you get home you are wasted mentally. Worried about your rent. This is huge is draining the energy of the people, diverted from being able to create community.
The last part was so true to me.
Being alone was all I experienced in covid, I never got it. At this point I couldn't care less if I got it because 2 years of being alone from my perspective is worse than 2 weeks of feeling sick.
Extremely worrying to read so many people are dying alone. We humans are social animals and need to talk or have people around us atleast few times per week. i'm worried for Japan
If it makes them feel better, the way governments handled covid made a lot of people worldwide very lonely.
Agree w your comment. The measures taken in Singapore due to corona? or due to the govt made me and many others feel very lonely. Recently, there has also been a number of violent crimes in Singapore.
Purposely
Agree but Japan’s is an other level because it was already this way and the pandemic is making it worse 😢
The issue started way before the pandemic.
How should've the governments handed the situation?
One of my co-workers KNEW she was sick, came in and was practically touching everything in the office. (Edit: This was RIGHT after the stay-at-home order was lifted.) I heard one person got sick after that. Maybe more. Maybe it was her fault or something else
Idk But they keep joking about how it's just a "cold."
My little nephew died from a blood clot after he recovered from COVID. :(He was 19, but he will always be little to me.)
I feel like the governments did a good job. The problem is...people are devious. :(
I think companies do still provide community. The problem is they also come with their own set of mental health destroying problems. SO a lot of people are opting out and are left with nothing.
Nobita-san, your documentaries are honestly some of the most insightful into the “real” Japan that most foreigners are completely unaware of. Thank you for your amazing work!
I see now why Japanese Anime regards friendship so highly. Not the kind of thing people value so much unless you don't have it.
Anime usually reflects what people want in Japan. A social outcry for change.
YES ! this is it ! this make me realize/remember that almost all anime is about power of friendship . Naruto ,One piece , and many other anime .
yes , you're right .
Their dream, their fantasy is about friendship which is very difficult to have in their society
@@greatndit Yes. We all do better with good friends and family.
@@tristanbackup2536 ironically, it seems unchanged
And hentai.
even if I don't feel lonely
I will go to internet cafe to sleep😂lol
I'm surprised the girl who was interview is used to be his coworker !!! I wonder how close you guys were🤔anyway thank you for the awesome video as always nobita san💓😆
Nobita is on your youtube channel. Subarashii
I noticed how you found friends you can met with via this medium which is a sign that people adapt to circumstances but not everyone is that resourceful or confident in themselves. It was heartbreaking to hear the pain in Nobita's friends voice, I trust something comes of her participation which eases it as one so young should not feel so alone. Good work on your own channel by the way, it's great seeing how much you and your friends have grown. As an aside you could drop the redundant (nel) from your youtube name. :)
They were very close, Nobita is secretly a pimp 😂
This is happening world wide. I think technology has widened the social gap.
Being a lonely person myself, I think loneliness might be less painful in Japan than in the west. I'm an introvert and it can be even more depressing to be constantly surrounded by outgoing people who have less problems connecting with others than myself. It can be soothing for the lonely to be around people who are in a similar situation. Even if it doesn't change the fact of being alone it's still reassuring to know that you are at least not alone with being alone.
Every time you see couples and people hanging out together and having a great time, you feel even more depressed, and there are no places like manga or internet cafes here like in Japan. Furthermore because the issue of loneliness isn't as common and exaggerated like in Japan and other east asian countries, it is also less accepted and so the problem does not get the approach it needs, because it is not understood well and not seen as urgent enough.
there are a lot of introverts who have thriving social life (in their own terms), have lifelong friendships, find love, etc. Being an introvert doesn't mean you have to be depressed or lonely. I myself am an introvert and I used to think it was the root of my loneliness; but it wasn't. Apparently it was depression and social anxiety. I went to therapist and worked on it for about 3 years (I am still in therapy although it's for trauma-related stuff) and it helped me to open up and know myself. I now have a couple of friends and definitely feel way less lonelier.
@@bintangassyifa that is great to hear! I can relate to this myseld having faced depression and anxiety for a great chunk of my life. What helped me is to find a hobby or passion and get real good at it to the point I have something to fall back to, to have confidence in. You can use this skill as a pivot to hurl yourself into a new direction of growth and abundance. Learning to love yourself along the way is a big challenge but it will set you free!
But shouldn't the solution be to try to slowly open up, rather than go to a place that is notorious for having lonely and isolated people? Not trying to shame you or anything but, like, if you go to Japan, you'll be surrounded by lonely people who also won't make an effort to have friends. That's like a circlejerk of misery and loneliness.
@@chey6073 i guess so! I am currently studying in Tokyo and I can def tell you it feels like such a lonely city. However, like I said before, the root of my loneliness was my mental illness and so getting continuous help was what I needed to be less lonely. Am I still lonely? Yes. But it is definitely /less intense/ than what I used to feel
Loneliness and introversion are not the same. Loneliness is not a choice. Introversion is.
I feel like there's also another thing to this: if you're not interesting or interesting enough then no one wants to be your friend, this is especially a problem if you stop approaching people because you're afraid of rejection.
Good point.
Good point
What I feel is that as countries become more rich and modern, the community system starts disappearing. I am an Indian and in my culture you are basically a part of a very big family with hundreds of people. Every year we have at least half a dozen marriages in our family in which my parents meet with our other relatives and socialize. We the younger generation are busier with our mobiles etc so we don't really like going to these functions, me being one such person. My parents also go to meet with our relatives outside of marriages and what I have seen is that they give a lot of importance to our relatives or I would say the other family members as they see these relations with great importance. Checking on the well being of an I'll relative, going to a marriage anniversary function, etc are some of the common activities. We also have a lot of festivals, like at least 20 to 30.
What I am trying to say and what I have observed is that my parents who are from the previous generation give immense importance to family and relatives, like there no life without them. They are always visiting them, talking with them on phone or attending functions while us the younger generation are not that interested and rarely talk with others cousins in the family. Life does become really fun and lively with lot of relatives and festivals.
Same was the case in old Japan as mentioned in the video.
When family life is no longer integrated in society you can expect all kinds of problems. People who live in Westernised countries believe that the whole world is the same while in reality it is not.
Loneliness on a global scale is definitely a very complex issue. I do feel like in Japan strong work culture definitely affect people's Loneliness and mental health. Sometimes I feel like japanese people don't want to speak their mind. I do have a few japanese workers whom I enjoy spending time with working with but its so difficult for them to talk about the issues they're going through. Im not going to force it out of them but it's just sad seeing someone struggle. I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. And this applies to everyone. Some people just struggle to take the first step and give up. They're too comfortable with their current lifestyle or Loneliness in which the first step is a huge stress wall for them. People don't want to be lonely because they want to. It's just a very stressful embarrassing thing.
Also the thing with social media is It may make connecting to people easier but it's not the same. I feel like social media is just where you post your life so you can be acknowledged by someone. It can also affect people's mental health in terms of their confidence in their social life.
I've struggled with Loneliness especially with social anxiety. And it's a definitely not a easy hill to climb. But as you get yourself out there and actually talk to people and make new friends. Things in fact can only get easier.
This is one of my greatest fears and the primary reason I have no desire to live in Japan. There are many things I enjoy about Japanese culture but I find the social interaction alienating, even for someone who is already introverted. I still enjoy vacationing in Japan, but moving there IMO would not be easy for foreigners unless you have an existing network of friends and/or family.
Why not create one? Every network is created, they just don't exist out of no where.
@@thathandsomedevil0828 Easier said than done from half a world away. I guess I could start with Nobita-san and the other RUclipsrs I subscribe to. I don't know how many of them would appreciate me crashing on their couches though. ;)
@@dariusq8894 I will start mine. I am learning Japanese and plan to visit Japan after it opens to scout it out. ;)
@@dariusq8894 like its not about country
its about your mentality
I was on both ends
on my final high school year I was super outgoing and went somewhere every Weeknd
but when 2020 I become so depressed I didn't live my house for 2 mounth
so its about you
Your content never fails to fascinate and inform. Nobita, you are a journalist of the new age!
I believe it was addressed in another JP youtuber's video about marriage/love in japan where marriage is a business.
Giving omiyage is like giving your business card with a gift on top of it. They don't give a damn who you are and while its 'polite' and protocol to introduce yourself, they don't give a fuck about you. Esp if you're a gaijin. Also accepting your omiyage is like accepting and starting a friendship/relationship with you in which they have to do an endless cycle of giving gifts back and forth, and since you're a stranger, they don't want to start that with you. Because they don't know you. They don't like you yet.
Although many JP people are open and welcoming of strangers/gaijin, they have the complete opposite attitude about being with them on a personal level.
The same thing with virtue signaling people who says "LET ALL IMMIGRANTS IN" and "let them have shelter in people's homes" but when they get interviewed and asked if they'd let Pablo (standing nearby) into their home, they refuse.
Japan has this 'fake persona' problem. They're so used to being fake happy and fake polite that its turned them into 'cold' or rather 'stonewall' people. All 'empathy' is fake. Anyone who needs help in public never gets it unless the authority notices them. Until then no one will call the cops or ambulance.
Modern Japanese girls also have a faint resemblance to modern western girls who are stuck in this 'princess' mindset that they are entitled to a perfect guy or they dream of finding one who will pay for everything for them or provide everything in a time where women are slowly moving up in equality and have 90% of the power in dating. Plenty of bisexual/lesbian women have tried this as an experiment, and got depression from how toxic women can be in the flirting/dating game.
In JP at least, most young people are much more mature and fully understand the consequences of marriage and even before that, what it means to be in a relationship.
You have a very one-track journey from brand name school to brand name school between education levels, and you're expected to stay in the next company after graduating for years to come. If you don't do that, then your fate is to be a nobody, a cashier at a convenience store, restaurant, etc. Making a living is tough because your starting base salary is still quite low and you're not much better off than the convenience store clerk.
Add the fact that there's a 50% income tax....half the money you make goes to taxes for medical care where they will refuse to give you pain killers. Japanese pain killers are weak asf. You pay half your income for overglorified 'basic' healthcare.
And don't get me started on all the fucking filipino families with 5+ children immigrating over. They complain about gaijin like white people but have no qualms bringing in Mexican version of asians for cheap labor or bring into their human trafficking/forced marriage/sex ring. A good portion of women in those strip clubs were tricked into coming into Japan for a 'good job' or were trafficked. The only good thing is you're not a prostitute unless you allow yourself to be, but you're still protected by your strip club business owner/manager cuz there's a 'you can look but you can't touch' policy.
My travels to Japan before covid, it was not hard to see loneliness in the Japanese communities. Those who know the feeling well, will agree that it is very possible to be lonely in a crowd. Seeing this first hand, I returned home and immediately begin to formulate possible ways to help deal with such a problem. Just as my travels became more frequent and my friends in Japan were behind me concerning such endeavors, global lockdown occurred and I haven't been able to be back since. I'm sure what I've come up with will work, it will require support, which is hard to see happening as very little has changed at the moment.
At least the developing metaverse would help people connect online on a deeper level.
Absolutely disagree this will break more people through even more rigid social engineering. There will sadly be even more disconnect with the natural world.
Yes and no. What we want is "real"relationship but also physical ones. The concept of metaverse is to create yourself a new life. People ain't gonna be real or honest there. You might think you're talking to a girl when it's a man behind or vice versa. You might think the person is your age when it's maybe someone 4 times your age. There won't be a lot of truth.
Just like culture in Japan, the problem is even when you think you have friends, all you often have are "pretenders" just acting good for social validation. That's how you end up being surrounded by people but still feel lonely. And that's the thing with metaverse. it won't change a thing. If with norm video games you find it hard to make real friends, or on social media today. Don't think metaverse will make things better. Just like we thought social media would make it easier when it did the opposite and now you have people who don't connect with you in real life. You have friends sitted together but each on their phones. And you even have people judging you based on how many friends you have online as if that was indicator of anything. People became more fake. And metaverse will make it just worst.
So now is the time to make real close connection. Don't wait to make friends with someone avatar thinking what they show you about themselves online is really how they are. We desire for honest deep bonds. Not false and fake ones
Sounds to me that Japan needs me to visit and bring people to joy and friendship
Dude, let's partner up and do it!! :)
For real though, we could set up a business to just meet and hang out with people who feel they are lonely, kinda like a rent a friend type gig but we will maintain the friendship regardless. Thoughts? :)
It's not just Japan.
The whole world.
And we all know that.
No, that’s not true. There are still non-Western countries out there who don’t have the same intensity and ammount of loneliness as in Westernised countries. I can tell from experience.
The scary thing is, I think it's spreading around the world. I know a lot of people who just don't go out at all - I have to actively encourage them. And this is particularly difficult as unless I have reason to go out then I don't really feel like going out either. Luckily I do have my own motivations, such as needing to go out for food (it's more expensive to have it delivered), wanting to take part in certain experiences, etc. But it's very difficult when I'm not with someone I'm familiar with. Now, I have a disability, so I guess I kinda have an excuse, but many of the people I know who are also struggling with this do not (at least as far as I am aware).
"'Travel is fatal to prejudice bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one's lifetime. "
-Mark Twain
Dear Japanese people, get out of your comfort zone and travel more. Know the world and its wonderful cultures it has to offer before it all turns to dust.
Gimme money
@@shinodamasaru7945 how much do you need, brother? :)
@@thathandsomedevil0828 enough to leave my comfort zone and travel around the world. Plus taxes. I don't ask too much.
@@shinodamasaru7945 You can get out of your comfort zone for free right now, just go outside and talk to a stranger.
私は中国の四川に住んでいた時に英語が話せないの喫茶店に行った。私の中国語をよくなったもcomfort zone(心地よい居場所?)が拡大したかった。
@@deanchur No. If you talk to stranger with no reason in coffeeshop in Japan, soon the Police will come.
Put an end to 24/7 Internet cafes, and end to 24/7 entertainment places or arcades.
In order to save people from themselves you have to push them into something they don’t want to accept right away.
You close all these places guess what will happen? They’ll have to socialise to get that dopamine rush in hopefully most circumstances.
Turn a lot of these cafes into gyms, mini golf places, activity spaces which people will then want to take their friends to, families etc.
@sanserif then maybe the suicide rate should go up then. Save themselves from a miserable existence.
I’ve not been in Japan long but I’m not sure how to cure my loneliness honestly. It is no different than in the US for me where it was also impossible for me to make friends and connect with people even if I did actually try. They mentioned church and stuff and I even tried that in the US and it didn’t work out for me in terms of connecting to other people. I do appreciate how you can live so easily and “freely” alone in Japan, but it doesn’t help in the long run with the main issue.
We are all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God, our Heavenly Father, our one true Creator. For sin yields death, we deserve everlasting punishment (to be casted into hell) for our sins (each and every last one of us have broken God's commandments, and we are guilty of it). God is holy, and completely sinless. Because of our sins, we are separated from the one who created the heaven and the earth (in six days, and rested on the 7th and sanctified it to be a holy day).
There's GREAT NEWS. Hear the gospel:
Jesus Christ died on the cross, was buried, and rose on the third day, to save you from the detriment of your sins.
In order to receive the beautiful gift of eternal salvation, you have to BELIEVE in the gospel. You have to believe and put all of your faith in Jesus Christ and what he did for you, for me, and humanity on that very cross. John 3:16 King James Version of the Holy Bible states, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish, but shall receive everlasting life." God truely loves you and He keeps His promise, His Word remian the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Without believing in the gospel and accepting Jesus Christ into your hearts, your souls will not enter into Heaven. You will be casted into hell for eternity. Eternal life is where your souls will go into the afterlife when you pass, and there are only two places, Heaven and hell. Please DO NOT reject Jesus.
He truely loves you. He gave his entire life for you, every single moment of mockery, abuse, slander, and persecution that led up to him being cruxified on that cross, he thought about you. Me. Your entire family, your neighbors, your communities, ALL of humanity.
Please believe and repent from your sins immediately, turn back to Christ and live a life pleasing to God. Jesus is returning VERY SOON. God bless you 💛
Japan's social structure is both fascinating, strange and sad. 😰😰😰
We’re all human beings. We’re all social beings whether we accept that or not. We all make connections in some way to others and hope to achieve friendships or relationships of some kind. It’s sad that on a planet with billions of lives on it that there’d be so many who don’t want, have, or feel that connection with other people. Glad you’re speaking about this Nobita.
I hate that we are social beings because it means that introverts feel uncomfortable in groups, then feel uncomfortable being alone too much. Our biology makes us suffer regardless of how we try to live our lives.
I saw in another video, not sure was it Nobita's, that it is difficult to make friends in Japan outside of your "group", which would be either your school or company. I guess when people are used to just get friends from work, many even find their wife/husband from work, it is difficult to change. In the west there are many kinds of hobbies you can find friends in, like cooking class, dancing class, horse riding, group sports, do those exist in Japan? Any experiences about them?
It was nobita's for sure I saw it also. That made me resolve to join as many group events and hobbies that I find when I visit Japan.
i have to say, even i am one of this persons. i go to work, sometimes remote work, sometimes i see my mother, but the fact is that i currently have no real friends, only colleagues at work, my last connection to life, if i may say it that way, was when my girlfriend and i broke up, this is now 15 years ago. my mother is above 80, my younger sister lives far away, luckely she got married and is happy.
to quote an actor from a film, "i will die alone". i do not know, when it will happen, but as things are at the moment, my situation is and will not change. some may say, i have to go out, to meet other people and i agree. But despite my efforts, i was not able to make friends in the past years. if tried or not, the situation has not changed for me or has gotten better.
so i decided to chope with it. i do some hollow conversations with people in my surroundings, go the grocery store or supermarket, when i feel in the mood, i go out for a walk. when i see families with their kids or elderly people moving side by side, holding hands, then i have to change direction or look away, because it reminds me, that i have nothing of this.
i am living my life as best i can do, i am born in the year 1975. Just for reference.
since technology has overrun us, our social life has decreased and many people, not only in japan, but also in the world, will face the grim reality of dying alone. we all got disconnected from eachother as humans, as persons as living beings. i am part of this trend and i know this. what keeps me ticking is maybe the fact itself, i love being alive, but alot of us, live and are alone...
My mum's around the same age, and she's now got a boyfriend. I hope you'll meet someone soon.
Dude, thanks for sharing, hang in there, never give in, stay strong!
I am somewhat in a similar boat to you in that the connections I have today are from past colleagues I met through multiple jobs. I keep fit by playing football multiple times a week to get my social fix. It is hard because most of my friends have families now so they will probably be off the radar for another 15 years.
Yes. This is what i feel right now.
So lonely, i'm scared being alone.
it is when you bother people that there is a chance for them to become friends. because if they aren't bothered, then they don't care. if they don't care, then they aren't friends. so many cultural norms in japan just contribute to social isolation. "reading the air" "honne tatemae" "harmony over honesty/conflict" "not standing out" "not being a bother" etc. etc. etc.
There are no such a thing like make friends apps?
Dude i want to go to live in Japan, but this lonlyness thing scaries me so much.
Even being someone who enjoy solitude, this topic afraids me.
Well you are not Japanese so you have the advantage of breaking those social molds and feigning ignorance when you talk to people. This is why I want to overcome the language barrier.
Hhahahaha you have a point dude. So ganbarimashou!
Pro tip :- Have an Indian friend among your group, they will never leave you alone.
Trust me.
Even when you die they'll come for free food
@@thet9869 I don’t think they are cannibals
@@extremepsyche3135 after death of someone Indians arrange a feast
Amazing interview guests as always! Thank you for bringing these problems to light Nobita.
As a foreigner living in Japan, especially coming from a culture where deep conversations between friends and saying things straightforwardly is a usual thing, I definitely felt a bit of a barrier when trying to connect with new people here. As an introvert I enjoy the huge amount of alone-time I've been having, but often times I miss that connection that I felt back home. I should not give up and go out more as well, but the comfort zone is hard to leave 😅
As a young man I learned that fear is the primary component of hate.
As an old man I discovered that guilt is a contributor to loneliness.
Face it, the Japanese have never been known for their "empathy". In fact, Japanese culture does everything possible to avoid empathy. This video dovetails perfectly with Nobita's one on Japanese being cold-hearted.
I wonder if they were like this during the Edo period? Or before they got bombed by atomics during ww2?
@@thathandsomedevil0828 Japanese culture and traditions go back over 1000 years. It's always been this way. Before Japan started to become modern in the 20th Century, life wasn't very nice or easy for the Japanese commoner. Japan likes everyone to believe that everyone in Japan lived like a Shogun or the Emperor. The Japanese are eager to show off their cultural gems and rich traditions. But life for 99% of the common folks was just misery.
In fact, just look at how many ordinary people live even today. Those tiny apartments are the size of walk in closets in America. And Japanese neighbors are anything but neighborly.
there is truth to what you’re saying.. and thats why their entertainment is the extreme version of empathy through dramas, animes, music.
its too bad they can’t take those elements and bring it into regular life.
probabaly rural areas are a bit better
It takes courage to acknowledge your loneliness to everyone.
That’s why she doesn’t show her face 🤔
Now I see that socializing is not only an individual’s needing but also a duty to keep the society healthy. From now on, I will be open to people even tho Im an introvert. We all should !
Hey Nobita bro! once again thank you for the high quality video. It really was entertaining and thought provoking to say the least. If I may put my two cents in: I do think that one aspect of the difficulty in having friendships is the amount of trust we would like to give to those who we meet (I guess benefit of the doubt?).
Our fast-paced society has us absorbing monumental amounts of information unlike the generations before us, thus we develop a discerning characteristic on what we may see or hear, and this in turn extends to how we have relationships. It would be very difficulty for a person who is doubtful of almost everything he/she hears or sees to have a connection with another person because as we open up to them and become genuine, we become a little vulnerable thus we give them the benefit of the doubt to be genuine with us also. And this is where Kalie's point of view in hanging out with other persons is somewhat similar.
I hope I'm making some sense haha. anyway thanks for the video and I hope to see more. Cheers!
I wonder if Hanako has been back to NYC since covid. The city is much more of a ghost town.
Really? I don't feel that way, neither does my business partner.
In my limited experience of teaching Japanese kids and young adults at school and uni, a lot of kids just don't seem to be taught socialisation beyong "join a group and fit in". For anyone who is slightly out of the norm, life and relationships can be very, very difficult in Japan. A significant amount of graduating uni age students have the socialisation and mental outlook of around 13-14 year olds in my home country. As noted by a lot of the people in the video, a lot of social lubrication events in Japan have been cancelled, making it even harder.
Having said that, it's also my personal experience that a lot of people here are very, very passive and won't make that first move for whatever reason (don't know how, fear, embarrassment etc)
Next time, Nobita, could you ask your interviewees whether they would be fine with (or more willing nowadays) to be bothered/annoyed/pestered by family, acquaintances, or strangers who are willing to communicate with them? Can some Japanese people handle or enjoy being directly confronted even if they themselves might not to initially?
It's a strange feeling to not be seeing or speaking to anybody for a period of time, and when you do break that period of self-silence, it's like a dam opening up. Whenever i work from home, I don't see people or talk to them a lot, let alone face to face. When I visit home, i find myself wanting to talk alot to my mom, when usually I do not. Humans really aren't solitary creatures, no matter how introverted one might be, connection in any form makes the core of what we are
I feel this video.
I am alone most of the time, I even work by myself.
I have family at home, but we do separate things.
I'm actually moving to Japan next year for a year to Osaka. I'm currently looking for other social activities aside from work where I could meet up with people and talk with them, and improve my japanese skills a bit more and maybe make some friends along the way, I'm a bit scared that I won't be able to make friends but my host couple seems really outgoing and chill people so I think that'll be a good start.
That is really sad about the omiage. When I lived in NYC, a Japanese woman came into the boutique I worked at and as small talk goes, I mentioned my brother lives in Japan. When she asked where…I told her and she was from near that country town as well. She was so excited and asked if she could send him Omiyage. I was surprised when she actually did. My brother was surprised too. Take Way; country folk are way more inclined to be friendly whereas city dwellers may not be a s receptive. Tokyo can be really cold but it is not like that all over Japan, nor are all Tokyoians that way either. You get what you give..but so many are so busy from work, they do not have energy for friends.
As usual, this is a very well-made and informative mini-documentary about a very important subject. Your content is always very high quality Nobita, and I thank you for it.
The problem with something like this "being accepted" is that incentivizes a terrible long term beheviour. Being alone is easy while maintaining social conections is hard, it implies compromising a lot of stuff to reach the middle point in a lot of situations and, the fact is (and this is important: it is a fact) humans need to interact. This whole situation kind of reminds me of this whole movement to make obesity be seen as perfectly ok when it is, again, factually bad in the long term (and the short one).
It is one thing to completely exclude certain actitudes completely, yes, but it is another to allow your whole society to self destruct "willingly". I think the importance of social bonds should be emphasised a lot more in Japan, and the price of loneliness should be made clear. There is nothing wrong with being by yourself, the same way that you can drink a beer once in a while, but sometimes we forget that the poison is in the dose.
Your videos are incredible. Sobering, but incredible.
I study psychology and I've learned that social support has much more influence on the health than smoking / not smoking cigarettes. Humans need people to care about / being cared about, whether it's their families or friends.
This video brings awareness, but it made me feel bad for the people of Japan.
Nobita's videos examine a lot of Japan's culture you don't see from the outside. They are truly insightful.
I find this so heartbreaking, I would not wish loneliness on anyone, it is a slow soul killer
I can really relate to everyone in this video. I got lucky and was able to move to Japan about 5 months ago as an ALT. I was use to doing lots of things on my own in America and was fine with it. I could talk regularly with friends, family, and coworkers and be fine, then go long periods of not seeing anyone. But now that I don’t have the social connections I use to have plus a language barrier it is a very lonely life. Trying to make new friends during a pandemic is also hard because there is still a lot of stigma of big social gatherings. Hopefully things will start clearing up soon so people can interact with each other easier again.
Being ok with being alone is great. But too much alone time i have a loy of energy and dissociation with reality.
Miss that sense of community
it's a paradox that lonely people go to places where other lonely people gather, and still be lonely.
For you to see that it's no use uniting all the lonely people in the world in one place, without first dealing with their trust issues...
It’s really a issue any country that has access to technology, so America has this issue also on a much smaller scale. In USA we have a lot of space to move around but the simplest answer to fixing loneliness is going outside, go out of your comfort zone. Loneliness can form from soooooo many things that may have happened or that we deal with. Loneliness is a temporary, fixable state. Tokyo, Osaka, Chiba, etc are some of the most beautiful places I’ve ever witnessed with my eyes. Go outside!
I agree but Japanese culture is risk adverse. Japanese people typically don’t like going out of their comfort zone and taking risk.
loneliness can only be fix when you had a relation or connection, nature wont help you cure it as it is not a sentient thing, human being were made to interact with each other, the issue with loneliness is people nowadays are pushed into selfishness in attaining their dreams and goals at the expense of diminishing honesty, compassion and mercy amongst each other, it just bred more skepticism towards each interaction, now imagine hundreds millions of people bred into this kind of mindset, no wonder we have many irreversible problems in society nowadays
Well Japan and America are polar opposites. Americans are usually loud and outgoing, while most Japanese are shy and docile types. Even if they go outside, it doesn't defeat the root of the source. They aren't used to making friends as easily like some of us, who practiced in middle school early on. Plus most Japanese people are fake I would say, no actual genuine bonds instead mainly looking for gratification/validation. If someone is used to be a certain way especially if they are comfortable, it's difficult for them to change in anyway.
@@akaneru1935 Right, yeah that's true i suppose. Could be a factor of like i said so many things, but i will stand by my statement with "go outside" talk to one another, hold the door open for the next person you see. Ultimately it's up to us folks to make a difference for ourselves, one of the hardest things to acknowledge but acknowledging it is positive steps in the right direction. It means you active pursue positive change, acknowledging you are lonely IS GOOD. But your next best friend is out there, maybe you don't even know it but he might be the barista you see everyday before work or it's the guy you see at the bus stop every day. Go the extra distance and make small talk, it's not as scary as you think. It seems scary in this day and age but we are all looking for a little comradery, a little acknowledgement... You might think the person you think is popular or has it all could cry themselves to sleep because they wish someone would care about them. Whatever the reason may be... I wish people would stop and say "hello" a smile or a hello could possibly prevent someone from suicide. It's a heavy topic for me and i know the impact the small things have. So i will end this by saying, I hope you have a fantastic day, and make someone else's day good too. :)
@@OfficialKoharu Shallow virtue signaling and trivial gestures do nothing to change social norms and behavior. Japanese don't talk to strangers or appreciate intrusions into their private space.
As with all government programs, the loneliness ministry will just become another money pit, which is unfortunate. It will require a cultural change in the big cities to get people to not isolate themselves.
I feel like the Japanese expect the government to step in because they don’t have the “drive” in themselves to interfere, and take responsibility for the internal struggles of their communities.
@@oh033 spot on!!
I actually used to teach at a university in Japan. This was back when COVID was a thing and I think we were doing hybrid teaching (some teaching online, some in person). I was pretty shocked when I heard that the students wanted the teachers to organize more social events so that they could get to interact and know one another more. It seemed as though the students thought it was the teachers’ responsibility to ensure that they had ample time to make friends or whatever. So the teachers ended up organizing a one or two hour social activity. Of course being Japan, the social activity ended up being SO structured, giving them clear instructions on what to ask their peers in group work. That was a real eye opener for me and further cemented in that I absolutely wouldn’t want to raise kids here. It seems a lot of people aren’t very pro active in a way…
@@katrinafanjul9591 Nice! Thanks for the insight.
I’m 51 and have been single for about 10 years . I have a successful son that is my main reason for being happy and continuing to try and live a good life but it’s hard . I feel alone most the time and ashamed of my situation . I was hurt and almost died at a work accident 27 years ago and since that time my mind has never been the same . I don’t like to be in social situations very much but I still enjoy things like riding my motorcycle and my dogs . I wish I was mentally stronger and that I could be more involved in life ! I realize I have it better than many and it makes me sad to think of all the lonely people in this world 😕
This video describes the life style
of so many of my neighborhood.
I have a great understanding and sympathy for your friend, I have happily lived on my own but had friends to contact and visit even if it was just once a month, I feel a bit smothered with daily contact but when the pandemic hit, I was in lockdown on my own for 4 and a half months and as someone classed as extremely vulnerable with immunity problems I have hardly touched a person in 2 1/2 years now which I have found really hard as there is so much to be said for friendly physical contact, a hug now means so much more for the mental health than ever before. I can see that must really accentuate the pre existing loneliness trend of a significant number of people in Japan ❤️
Living there then moving overseas, a good balance would be to be able to have companionship with the option of being alone.
People who do not wish to constantly have somethignexciting happening and just vibing in peace I find is a universal way of hanging out and meeting new people.
It just, the hardest part is reaching out to people to start it.
I appreciate how much you cover important topics
I feel her, and I believe we can turn lack into opportunity. I'd be pleased to talk to her, not as a psychologist, but to have a young woman-to-young woman conversation.
I'm a couple days late, but it's very apt (for me) that a video about loneliness was posted on my birthday that no one remembered lmao
Very relatable hope it changes one day
You are covering very important topics Nobita , well done. Keep it up
Aww I wanna be her friend!! I moved here when covid started. A week before. So I’ve honestly had a tough time finding a community. I’m lucky to have found a few friends, but as the woman interviewed said, most of them have moved away at this point. I’m moving to another city soon and hopeful that things will improve, but I think the loneliness factor is bigger than just japan.
I moved here because I felt pretty lonely in America too. I figured that if I’m going to feel lonely, I might as well do it someplace interesting where it’s easier to be alone.
I think the internet and the way we use it has played a large role in our loneliness. It’s become a substitute for social outlets but I don’t think it’s a real replacement so it leaves us feeling hollow. Making interactions but not really engaging.
I think humans need face to face time. We need people. It’s ok to be alone but being together is how we thrive. Finding friends is so important for growth. We are, after all, pack animals.
We tend "naturally" towards loneliness because we are shy + doN'T want to appear needy. We must value what Socrates said: THE MOST VALUABLE THING IN LIFE IS FRIENDSHIP. We must offer OUR FRIENDSHIP to those around us. Protestant churches are great at promoting FELLOWSHIP. People join churches, mosques ... in order to have THEIR SOCIAL NEEDS MET. For the poor + homeless LONELINESS IS THE NUMBER ONE PROBLEM. Thanks Norbita for bringing this issue to my attention. You always make me think. Let's NOT NEGLECT those around us. :D Ken, Toronto, CANADA
Searching for acceptance from others is fleeting. It's not realistic because not everyone can offer you that, for whatever reasons. However learning to get in touch with your authentic self - the person you were born to be, separate from conditional love - is key to self acceptance and inner peace. Your perspective changes and expectations are realistic. You live in the present and see the optimism in that. The plethora of opportunities that lie in front of you. It's a healthier coping skill that sustains you - mentally, emotionally and spiritually - throughout Life. Does that mean you outgrow people? Yes it does. And it should. It's growth toward your magnificent truth.
Thank you Nobita for this video! Really love all the documentaries you do. It felt really said to see the young people still in college(similar age to me) already starting to feel lonely. The contrast between their youthful appearance and their mental state is really what hits. It's really sad how Covid has impacted the school experience for them(especially because many Japanese look back on their school days really fondly). Even my university choices were affected by the Pandemic. Hoping for Japan's covid situation to ease down and for their school lives to go back to normal soon.
Minister Of Loneliness. First world problems I guess.
if you're feeling lonely and see another person who's alone at manga cafe, why not talk?
its also regarded as strange to talk to random people especially in Tokyo, I don't know why. I heard Osaka and other areas are better in this regard
They'll say "mind your own business"
@@thepigeonmen0 I am going to Osaka. Even an Osaka woman told nobita that she had issues making friends in Tokyo!!
Hedgehog's dilemma.
It's not just Japan. People are feeling lonely everywhere including myself. More connected then ever but absolutely miserable
Its like "mind your own business" i cant live in japan it really sad being alone me i always have a chat with my neighbors when i feel bored in the house i always go out to chat with them but if i live in japan its hard to befriend your neighbors 😢 i use to dream living or working in japan but now knowing this i change my mind its hard to have a friend in japan
Japanese girl: lonely
weebs/yellow fever westerners: kAwAiSou~ lets talk🤤
I’ve watched quite a few of these videos and at this point it seems there is something so sad about Japanese culture, that they just don’t connect with other people on a real level, or open themselves up in any way. And as a result, their relationships including family, friends, dating and marriage are so very difficult. I don’t understand it. I see it explained in these videos, but so many people seem so miserable, and I don’t really understand why people are not reaching out to each other or open to that. I guess that’s just my limited perspective as an American. But it seems so sad and to me, so unnecessary.
really agree with what you said! i live in hong kong and travelled to japan frequently in the past and have a few japanese friends, but it seems so deeply rooted in their culture to be polite to people regardless of how they truly feel, that i think creates a kind of barrier for them to actually develop real friendships and connections. although i'm from an asian culture and was brought up to be docile and polite too, it has never hindered me when i became an adult because we understand how connections can make such an impact on our lives. you don't need tons of friends, just a handful of close and reliable people you can trust. i wonder if a lot of japanese people even know whether their friends are true friends or not! it's really sad.
From little I understand about Japanese they have very strict social hierarchy, it's hindered how they social interact with others
Thank you Nobita for another great video!
That is so tragic. Individualization of society is often just a step away from atomization.
Samishii... Kanashii... Tohoho...
It's a rising problem in the west as well. It's not just Japan in general.
I had many friends over the years, but nowadays you rarely see them, or have the same connection as you did before.
Internet might be a good thing, but it has done a lot of damage as well.
I have friends who were born in the 90's. They don't even know how to ask "can we hang out?" which annoys the crap out of me.
Hikkikomori could be based out of three things:
1. Hard time making connections with new people. People are usually fond with their own crowd/friends, and rarely takes a new one in.
2. ASD for those with autism and it is quite common for those to be alone and do their own thing. I don't say it applies to everyone because it so individual, but for those who I came across prefer to be alone most of the times.
3. Depression is quite common nowadays and they just want to isolate themselves. I know this from my own experience i even had friends who have gone through the same thing.
Great video nobita-san.
This is a very serious and depressing issue. I am impressed with the sensitivity you handle the subject matter with.
I can't help but feel heartache for these people. As an American, I just want to reach out to them and bring them over to my house for BBQ dinner, or even an old school LAN party. I'm going to call you everyday. I'm not going to give you enough time alone to become introverted and depressed.
It's interesting because that happens to me as latino, I never had a lot of friends, right now I don't have any friends which I can communicate with, and that's alright, I feel good because I have my family who supports me, but I know I'll have to get out there and let others see me. I don't want to spend my life without friends but it has been difficult even in a country where foreigners think we all are warm and welcoming to others.
And with covid that feeling of loneliness also worsened, you could say it's "easy" to make mexican friends, but I kind of have a different mentality than a lot of mexicans so I feel I don't belong here at times, but it is what it is, I think it is important to try and meet new people because at the end, good relationships imo are the most important thing we can build in our lives
Very informative, thank you!
Unless you're born as conjoined twin, you're alone. You was born alone, live alone, and will die alone in body and mind. Even in cases like special conjoined twin, they can marry, live normally and have kids, all the while long to be separated. I not going to say more on it.
Seriously Nobita, you keep focusing on these normal negative things, to me they're not a problem. There are so much good things about Japan.
Nope that's not right. You were born alone, but you didn't grow alone. You had parents affection when you were a child. Children who don't receive parents affection or socialize with other children grow with severe mental illnesses.
So you grew with people around you who influenced you in a certain way. You build bonds with others. That's why when they live, you feel sad cause you won't be able to see them again for a while.
That's why, prisoners who are put into isolation for a week, come out mentally ruined. Only a week isolated and they come out mentally ruined.
There is a difference between being fine alone and being lonely.in one case, you choose to be alone with yourself from time to time which is good. But in the other, you don't necessarily choose. You simply don't have someone else to talk to or spend time with or to form a deep bond with. So you are alone even when you don't want to. No one to share things with. It's not healthy. Just like sometimes we need time alone with ourselves. We also need time with others. Humans are social creatures. And if you don't have that with another human, youll go and seek that social interaction with something else. Either with God, or with fiction (by reading or watching shows and imagining that was your life interacting with those being)...
@@mrbob4104 No, that's more in line of an "adaptation" than anything. Some people are very social, others extremely antisocial, despite whatever their natural condition might be. Many might not have been raised by their biological parents or even humans, they can still turned out alright.
Thanks Nobita san.